Bibbles

FIC: The Prince's Stray, fandom: TW (Stiles, Scott, pre-Sterek, PG)

2017-03-08T06:54:41Z

.
Title: The Prince's Stray
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Characters/Pairing(s): Stiles, Scott pre-Sterek
Rating: PG
Warnings: Un'beta'd, aU ABO world
Word Count: 908
AN: A challenge for gameofcards Team Clubs, challenge #2 Break the Ice

Strobe of lights bounced off the walls to cascade over the half naked bodies of various alphas, betas, and omegas as they withered sensuously together in a form of dance to the beat of pounding music while on the sidelines others clustered in groups, to watch. That’s where Stiles stood hidden in the shadows next to Scott. It didn’t matter how he tugged or wiggled in place, Scott seemed to be rooted in place. God help him, he loved Scott. He was a great alpha, a great friend, and brother. However as someone who was suppose to introduce him around, help him meet his soul mate, Scott sucked. They had been there for nearly a half hour, and still they hadn’t moved any further into the room then when they had first arrived. Stiles, was past ready and eager to throw himself into the group of omega dancers. However as a leashed omega all he could do was, wait until Scott, the alpha he had arrived with, allowed him to mingle and mix with everyone else.

“Come on Scott, you have to break the ice.”

“Me? Why?”

“Yes you, cause you’re the alpha, the one I came with, not to mention the prince. Besides I’m new to all of this.”

“Stiles…”

Stiles could see and hear the blatant nervousness in Scott’s voice. In fact, if he didn’t act fast he knew Scott would run home, dragging Stiles behind him. Long before the shy prince could make any introductions affording him any opportunities to meet an available alpha, or in this case one particular alpha Stiles had set his eyes on. Not that he had shared that tidbit with Scott. He had been too afraid Scott would have refused to bring him, or worse he might have had the alpha formally summoned to the palace. Although he wanted to win the alpha’s attention it had to be by the alpha’s own choice not because their Prince requested it. Here inside the club, Prince or no Prince each alpha had the freedom to engage with a beta or omega.

Stiles grabbed Scott’s hand then added his best puppy-dog face, imploring the young prince, “Come on Scotty… besides you promised me you’d introduce me around…”

“Stiles, I told you before I really don’t know anyone here…”

Stiles quickly interrupted, “You don’t have to know them they all know you. You’re the prince, a true alpha.” Stiles felt before he saw Scott cringe at his pronouncement. He knew his friend hated the title, yet he couldn’t let Scott’s self-consciousness ruin this. Tonight took too long to coordinate and make happen, and if the rumors he heard were true he had one shot to make all of his dreams come true. All he had to do was get Scott to corroborate by staying in the club and letting him mingle, in order to find his dreamboat. Even as he thought of him, Stiles scanned the room as he had done for the umpteenth time since they had arrived. Only this time he went ridged in shock when he actually spotted the alpha, the same alpha that’s occupied his thoughts for the last three weeks. He was stunning. A young, gorgeous alpha with piercing green eyes who went by the name of Derek Hale.

“Scott please….” Stiles tugged on Scott’s arm, his excitement returning when he felt Scott finally relent and move with him. Their progress was slow yet Stiles kept up the steady pressure on Scott’s arm as they weaved a path through the crowd toward the only man he wanted to see, Derek Hale. He had first seen Derek three weeks ago leaving his dad’s office. For a very brief moment as he passed they had locked eyes. From that moment, Stiles was besotted. Frozen unable to move, Stiles watched the man of his dreams walk out of his life before he could even utter out a hello. Devastated by the encounter, it had taken him time to figure out who the gorgeous hunk was, but in the end all of his investigation paid off and he not only had he gotten Derek’s name, but why he had seen dad in the first place along with what had brought from back to Beacon Hills.

“Stiles, wait…” Scott’s order barely registered, as Stiles felt himself being dragged back to Scott’s side.

Unable to hold back the wave the giddy nervousness of anticipation, Stiles raised his hand pointing at Derek who was busy taking to the tall guy who stood next to him. “Scott, come on we’re almost there. Don’t worry you’re just going to help break the ice.”

“Yeah, how am I going to do that, you know how bad I am…” Turning Stiles faced his friend and smiled. By Scott’s reaction he was coming on too strong, but he couldn’t help it, he was beyond elated ready to bounce off the walls over the idea of meeting Derek face to face.

Scott searched his face, and quietly asked, “It means that much to you?”

Stiles bounced in place, nodding enthusiastically.

Exasperated knowing he lost the fight long before the battle, Scott sighed. “Alright fine; where’s this Romeo you want so badly?”

Stiles pumped his fist, “YES! I promise you won’t regret it. You just break the ice by standing there, looking all princely, while I do all the talking.”

Scott chuckled, “Yeah you got that down. Let’s go sniff this alpha out.”

Signal Boost for stir_of_echoes

2017-01-22T19:30:44Z

So sadly reminiscent as her loss reminds me of my own loss, my brother Jeff. If you're in a place you can help out a fellow fen, please do. I know how much it meant to me, on both fronts: financially & those who could only offer support.

Please go & check out her, GO Fund Me, pg

Via stir_of_echoes ETA: Can I ask that you don't share this on Facebook or Twitter. I haven't told my family about asking for help. They don't get the whole 'fandom is family' and I think they wouldn't approve of going cap in hand.

rpf_big_bang \o/

2017-01-18T16:59:25Z

rpf_big_bang is coming back & the new owner is looking for help - a co-mod, and someone with to help with banners. If you're interested & can help or just want to participate by writing/art/beta, head on over & say hello. Now I have to see if my muse will let me play... hmmm something new or a sequel, off to contemplate...

Happy New Year, challenge - Please REC me =)

2017-01-01T18:23:09Z

Morning Flisters

New challenge – I’ve already signed up for GYWO, getyourwordsout and I still highly recommend you all check it out. However this morning I saw two post’s 1) wolfshark’s meme and the 2) on fancake (a rec community) their new round is for Epic fics 100k & over. Then I started to think on how little I read these days. In fact in the last few years it’s dropped off significantly. It was one thing to drop off of reading real books (my previous complaint when I started reading fanfic, but now I'm ashamed to say it’s dwindled down to nearly non-existent.

So I’m going to pick a 100k fic to read & try to rec out at the end of the month – however that’s not my true challenge. What I want is to increase and start reading again to find a balance between reading and writing – in fandom, but also my personal reading/journaling.

For the fandom side, I’d like your help- & this applies to anyone who drops in on my post =)
So here’s the deal: rec me one of your fics, a personal favorite that you’ve written. If it’s in a fandom and you’re not sure I follow the fandom please rec two, a back-up, one you know I’m into. If you know I’m not into any of your fandoms, but we share other fandoms that you don’t write in, please rec me one of your favorite reads.

If none of the above applies, then maybe rec a favorite book? Fiction or non-fiction (as of late I've been turning to self-help books, inspirational etc...)

I will do my best to read everything you guys rec throughout the coming year year.

On the personal rl side, the first book I’m tackling this year is, The Miracle Morning then the 2nd is, The Miracle Morning for Writers by Hal Elrod.

Anyhoo, now I'm off to go write for a pinch then maybe do some laundry (a pile that keeps getting larger the more I ignore it -sigh- )

ETA: So I still use semagic to post 95% of the time and use them to code everything- For Dreamwidth I know the code to show/display a LJ comm so it links back to LJ however I don't know the reverse. I tried with Fancake, it does change and link to the reader feed, but I wanted to link to DW's comm - How? Does someone know, can share? Also anyone know of a comm that shares explains how to code, link, etc on either LJ or DW? Thanks in Advance =)

Happy New Year \o/

2017-01-01T00:41:00Z

Have to say I'm happy to say good-bye to 2016 =)

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas - mine was good. I’ve been working a lot on top of being sick, so it's nice having the weekend off.

On fandom, I tried my best to finish and meet my goal for getyourwordsout sadly I didn't quite make it. My final word count was 71,210 for the year. Not bad, as I'm close, but still no cigar. Oh well I signed up for it again and hope to surpass my 75k pledge for 2017. Sign-ups are happening now, it’s a wonderful comm that I'd highly recommend you join. It's full of motivation to help keep you focused and inspired to write. Note there’s no penalty if you don’t make your pledge - just resign up and try again, like I'm doing. You do need to check in every month, but really it wasn’t bad and helped keep me on track.

Main thing is I did write so I'm calling it a WIN!

I do hope to keep up the momentum and actually finish/post all the fics that I've been working on this past year that haven’t been posted - Muse willing I will =)

Hope you all have a good, fun safe night - Personally I'm walking away from the computer now and going to go fix dinner then chill and watch a movie. For me it's low key night at home since I've been sick, I don't even know if I'll make it to midnight – either way it’ll be 2017 in my neck of the woods in less than 8 hours *\o/* <33333333

FIC: Senses, 1/1 fandom: SGA (McShep, PG-13)

2016-12-30T22:17:50Z

Title: Senses
Author: Denyce
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing(s): McShep
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Due to an accident Rodney is deprived of his sense of smell.
Warnings: unbeta’d
Word Count: 1461
AN: Prompt by brumeier: Any, Any, temporarily deprived of one of their senses, written for comment_fic

1/1

John sighed when he looked up to see Rodney’s pout, not that he was surprised since lately it’s become Rodney’s resting face. Still he had to ask, “What?”

In misery Rodney whined, “I can’t smell anything.”

“I know” and he looked down at his plate then over to Rodney’s plate. Both were filled to the rim with steamy hot slices of turkey topped with gravy, complimented with healthy helpings of stuffing, mashed potatoes, vegetables, and a side of cranberry. It was what he’d call a typical American Thanksgiving dinner.

“Yeah well, you got to remember what Carson said, that it’s only temporary.” Shrugging he added, “At least it’s only your nose.” Taking a healthy bite, John chewed and swallowed, admitting a hearty hmm sound. Offering, “Trust me, it smells as great as it looks, but it tastes even better. Maybe you should try a bite before it gets cold?” Then he busily cut another bite.

He was almost on his third bite before Rodney took his first bite. John watched the look of distaste vanished from Rodney’s face as he chewed. John could only chuckle and shake his head pleased Rodney started to eat.

Since the accident, Rodney had been hesitant to eat, yet once he had a bite, Rodney’s appetite didn’t suffer as he’d finish whatever was on his plate. Although John had to admit, today was odd as Rodney offered no running commentary on the weirdness of eating a delicious meal without the ability to smell it. On top of that was Rodney’s usual reverence over a good meal and even more noticeable Rodney didn’t go back for seconds.

By the time they left the mess hall, it was obvious, although it was temporary; Rodney’s inability to smell was really starting to distress him.

He had already cornered and questioned Carson in detail after the accident. Carson had promised it’d fade in time, a couple of weeks the most once the damage to his olfactory healed. The truth was John was thankful that it wasn’t anything more than Rodney’s nose and being in the wrong room at the wrong time. Not that John wanted to bring it up and hear about the details of the accident – again!

Fact is he’s listened to Rodney rant on about Barker, the technician who had set off the accident, in and out of bedroom for the last three days. If Rodney had his way, Barker would be shipped back to the States. Surprisingly as it was, the last two hours were Barker free and he wanted to keep it that way.

Still Rodney’s sulking had gotten to a point that even without mentioning Barker by name; Rodney’s mood was starting to get on John’s nerves. It was only his ability to smell, it wasn’t like losing his sight, or his hearing. While they headed back to their quarters, John had hopes, to surprise Rodney with some quality alone time.

By the time they reached their quarters, inside, John reached down and clasped Rodney’s hand then he leaned in, pulling Rodney to his chest whispering seductively. “So I was thinking, dessert?”

Considering the multiple reactions he had thought Rodney might respond with, he had never considered the one Rodney went with. Abruptly Rodney let go of John’s hand and backed away shaking his head, and headed toward the door. “No, I don’t…”

John stared at him perplexed as if he had grown two heads. Rodney McKay, his Rodney McKay would never turn down some afternoon-nooky. Whatever Rodney saw on his face seemed to have an effect as Rodney looked around nervously and mumbled about not being able to smell.

At that moment John lost it and started shouting, purging everything he’d been thinking for days. “God damn it Rodney, it’s just your nose! And its temporary – it’s not like it’s your sight, or your hearing – so what if you can’t smell your food. You also can’t smell shit, literally! You can’t tell if I or Zelenka had bad breath or if someone forgot to use deodorant and stunk to high heaven. Let me tell ya, I’d call it a gift, especially around Ronon after one of his workouts. BUT no, not you, all you’ve done is, whine and complain. Let me tell you, I’m used to you complaining Rodney, its part of your charm, part of what I fell in love with. However all of this sulking, the silent treatment… Then when you’re not moping, all you do is, go on and on about not being able to smell your food – I get it! We ALL get it, you can’t smell…”

Interrupting Rodney yelled back, “It’s not the damn food! Though I do miss that, but…”

“BUT what?”

“YOU, you idiot, I can’t smell you, and it’s driving me crazy.”

John just stared at him not sure what to say.

Rodney blushed, “I didn’t even know I was aware of your scent until it wasn’t there. I got used to it, knowing you’re there even if you’re not there. Like the mornings when you leave to go running with Ronon. I’d lay there smelling your scent on the pillows and on the sheets. I know it’s crazy, but I’d like to linger in bed longer just to smell you, us.” Waving is hand up, Rodney gestured at his hair. “It doesn’t even matter if you try to mask it with all that hair gel crap – your scent is still there.” Wistfully he added, “My favorite is right after you shower. John, you have your own unique scent and … I can see you, I can touch you, but your scent isn’t there, it’s like a part of you is missing, that it’s gone, and that you’re gone, or at least a part of you is.”

John just stared at him then closed his eyes. Rodney didn’t move, but John didn’t have to see, hear or touch him to know he was there. John inhaled deeply and focused Rodney’s scent. He had never considered what Rodney had just said; what he’d feel if he couldn’t smell Rodney anymore… the thought was sobering. Blindly he reached out and grabbed Rodney clutching the man to his chest, “Rodney I’m right here; it’s me. I’m not a pod person.”

“I know. I know I’ve been driving you crazy – complaining about something that will come back in a couple of weeks…”

His nose was buried in the crook of Rodney’s neck and he inhaled, enjoying the musky scent that was all Rodney. Then he pulled back to look steadily into Rodney’s eyes, “No, no it’s not. I get it now. I’m sorry I didn’t understand…”

Rodney silenced him with a kiss and shook his head; his gaze never left John’s. “Don’t be, you didn’t… I just miss”

John nodded and started to pepper kisses over Rodney’s face and neck. And he did get it now, inhaling enjoying Rodney’s unique aroma that was all Rodney. “Until it comes back – and Rodney, it will come back – use your other senses to: hear me, look at me, touch me, know I’m right here…”

Grinning, Rodney added, “You forgot taste?”

John only shook his head, no as he leaned in to kiss Rodney. It started off slow, where he savored each small peck, tasting Rodney’s flavor, smelling his scent. With each kiss John’s senses heightened and his understanding of Rodney’s pain increased.

Suddenly he pulled away and touched his comm and quickly said, “Lorne, I’m using code 4” before taking it off. Then he announced, “Lock” and his door chimed to the response.

Rodney looked at him inquisitively, and asked, “Code 4? I’m not familiar with that one.”

John nodded. “You wouldn’t. Lorne and I came up with it. It’s off the books, a code we created.”

“For?”

“For personal downtime; Rodney, the doors are locked, we have at least forty-eight hours. Lorne won’t let anyone interrupt us unless there’s an emergency.”

“We don’t need forty-eight hours…”

John chuckled, “Yes, we do.” Then more seriously as he pulled Rodney back into his embrace and stared heatedly into Rodney’s eyes, letting him see the depth of his love. “We’re going to indulge every single one of your working senses. So until you get your nose back, every part of you will know it’s me, regardless of your nose. And I’m going relish every moment and memorize everything about you Rodney. No, forty-eight hours is just a drop in the bucket, when what I really want is forty-eight years… Rodney I lo…”

The word ‘love’ was swallowed into Rodney’s mouth. John didn’t care; he planned on saying it and telling Rodney again and then over and over along with demonstrations in the next few hours – and vowed to repeat for the rest of his life.

Fin~

FIC: When It's Right 1/1 fandom: Supernatural (John, Wee-Dean, PG)

2016-12-25T16:40:34Z

.
Titile: When its Right
Author: Denyce
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing(s)/charater(s): John, Wee Dean
Summary: Pre-series: John takes Dean out to get a Christmas tree
Rating: PG
Word cound: 567
AN: Merry Christmas <333

1/1

John glanced back to make sure Dean was following behind him. He would have thought Dean would have been more excited to get a tree, but the way his son meandered around, he started to question Mary’s plan that they to do this without her. She had pushed him to take Dean while she went shopping without them. The plan was to meet them back at the house for a late lunch slash early dinner then set the tree up to decorate.

“What do you think Dean? Is this the one?”

John stood back to watch his son.

Although at only three, Dean stood rim rod straight as if he was closer to John’s height. He walked around the tree eyeing it up and down, studying every angle. Then he stopped and crossed his arms over his chest before his son cocked his head and looked back up at him.

John bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud at the sincere seriousness on Dean’s face; yet he couldn’t stop the grin that pulled at the corners of his lips.

Slowly Dean nodded, “I think Mommy will like it” Then he firmly declared, “So will Sammy.”

“Yeah?” His eyes glittered with happiness then John raised his brow, questioning, “Who’s Sammy?” He had already guessed the answer, but hearing his son’s answer and the thought process behind it always lifted his heart.

Without batting an eye Dean answered, “My baby brother.”

“That so. You’re sure it’s going to be a boy – what if it’s a girl?” Dean just gave him a look like he’d gone crazy. John chuckled, “Okay, so how’d you come up with Sammy?”

Dean shrugged. “Mommy asked me if I liked the name, Samuel.” He crossed his eyes and shook his head no, in distaste. Then he paused, at the memory sharp, his lip dropping, Dean quietly said, “That made mommy sad. She said Samuel was Grandpa’s name and that I was named after Grandma Deanna. I didn’t want to make mommy sad and told her we could call him Sammy – that Sammy was better. It made Mommy happy.”

“Huh, I like that, Sammy rolls off the tongue. Still works if he turns out to be a she.”

John tried and failed make his son see reason. All he got in return was Dean’s steady glare. John sighed and tried another tactic. “Dean, even if he’s, a he when he gets older he’ll probably want to shorten the name to Sam.”

Dean shook his head defiantly then turned his back on John, to admire the tree. With a smile, Dean’s small voice rose as he stated over his shoulder. “Nope it’ll always be Sammy.”

John stood there in blatant shock at his three and half year old son’s firm resolve.

Finally John burst out laughing, “All right then kiddo” and leaned down to pick Dean up. “Let’s go pay for this tree then tie her to the roof of the car. Then we can go home and see Mommy’s make lunch or dinner? Then if she bought any stuff so we can make some Christmas cookies?”

Dean bounced on his shoulders then he leaned over, hair flopping as he animatedly shook his head no, and simply answered, “Pie, mommy’s gonna let me help her make pie. Christmas pie!”

John only laughed louder, his heart beaming with pride and happiness things couldn’t be more perfect.

Fin~

FIC: Holiday Blues 1/1 fandom: SGA (Lorne/Parrish, Sheppard, PG-13)

2016-12-20T08:19:10Z

.
Title: Holiday Blues
Author: Denyce
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Character/pairings: Lorne/Parrish, Sheppard, McKay, Ronon, Beckett, Zelenka friendship
Summary: Although it’s been nearly five years since David died, Evan still mourns his loss.
Warnings: Character death, grieving/mourning, and it's un'beta'd
Rating:PG-13
Word Count: 2224
AN: Written for gameofcards Team Clubs, Challenge 37 Holiday Words. I used: ribbon, ornaments, icicles, tinsel, and gingerbread. Read it here or on AO3.

1/1

All around him there was Christmas chaos.

He had started early this morning pulling out all the Christmas boxes, most he hadn’t seen in several years, not since… He started outside and put up the outside lights. Once that was done, he opened and assembled the tree he had bought a couple of years ago. It was an ordinary six foot tree with lights already attached. He only had to fit the three pieces together then fluff the braches out like his sister told him to do the year he got it.

In the years prior, they had always gotten a real tree, David had insisted. However without him Evan just couldn’t make himself go out and get a real tree without him. Yet he still celebrated the holiday. He didn’t want anyone to think he wouldn’t or couldn’t go on. It had pained him that first year to go buy an artificial tree still it was less painful than the thought of going out to the farm to cut down a real tree.

Once the tree was up and the lights plugged in, he wrapped a white sheet around the trunk. Usually this is where he’d stop, but this year he decided it was time to add ornaments. Ornaments he hasn’t seen since his last Christmas with David. Evan glanced to the neat stack beside him; boxes ready to be opened… It should have made him feel good to hear the Christmas music playing in the background, the smells of gingerbread in the oven, the tree lights twinkling invitingly, waiting for him to continue what he had started, to decorate the tree.

He opened one box then another, looking at the various ornaments – with them brought a tale, flooding him with memories. Tonight he was expecting John, Ronon, and McKay to come over for dinner, why he wanted everything to be up and look nice. Still Evan couldn’t stop the feeling of pending doom. A feeling he had woken up with. In fact, for days he’d been in knots, but purposely ignored the warning. Now, no matter what he did the sorrow in his heart expanded, bleeding out from his soul. It wasn’t like this was the first year since David died; in fact it’s been four years and fives Christmas’ without him. It’d be twelve years next July since they first met on Atlantis and David had joined his team, and then ten years since they secretly married on MR-17. Then shortly after they returned to Earth in ‘09 Evan opted to end his commission and leave the military. Afterward they made it official and legally tied the knot.

Their life wasn’t idyllic. Adjusting to life after Atlantis had its share of problems. Yet together, with their friends it was good if not a perfect balance of everything right because they had each other. Then one afternoon, a kid texting while driving and in thirty seconds, David was gone. He had died at the scene. There was no lingering good-bye, no nothing just a brief kiss that morning with a rushed ‘I’ll see you later’ to nothing.

Evan shook his from the memories, he tried not to think other than cut off and shove the unwanted feelings down. It didn’t work. In fact, it got worst. He moved from one project to the next. Opening each box rambling through it, trying and failing to get involved in the task of decorating – what a joke. He had done nothing other than make a mess, and add to the turmoil that was already in his heart and mind.

In the end all he did was create a mirror of everything he was feeling – overwhelming chaos. Everywhere he looked there was an open box with piles of stuff on every surface: ribbons, ornaments, crystal icicles, tinsel, figures; every seat had something on it. It was overkill.

Suddenly the smell of something burning caught his attention – his gingerbread.

Scrambling over and around boxes, Evan made his way to the kitchen and grabbed an oven mitt to pull out the smoldering burnt bread - it was a perfect mess.

A swell of anger hit and he threw the pan haphazardly into the sink. It landed with a loud clang leaving him a smidgen of satisfaction, but it wasn’t enough to quell his sudden anger. Turning he kicked a box and followed it back into the living room, kicking it again. The action broke an internal dam, as words spilled forth, yelling out everything he had been holding back since that day, “Damn it, David, why did you leave me!”

Without thinking Evan turned facing the wall, and punched it– once, twice, each time was harder than the last.

Ignoring each hole he created or the splintered run of cracks in the plaster, or the broken skin and smeared blood on his knuckles. Panting heavily he stopped and leaned against the wall, tears streaming down his face. A small part of him was freaked out that he was getting so upset; he hadn’t been like this since that first night. Although another part of him nudged him to continue – to let it out- with it brings another wave of anger. “I can’t do this alone anymore!” Glancing around, his eyes landed on the tree, “I don’t want Christmas, not WITHOUT YOU! I won’t, I can’t…”

Grabbing the tree, Evan pulled on the cord to unplug it then started to take the six foot tree apart smashing and squashing branches down so it’d fit back in the box. He moved like a whirlwind shoving things back in their boxes, but instead of bringing them back in the storage room he stacked them behind the sofa. He had a plan - they had to go – he didn’t want to see them, didn’t want to remember what was… Once every box was stacked haphazardly, Evan looked around the bleak room. It was only when he glanced at the clock that he remembered he had invited his friends over. He couldn’t let them see him like this. He wouldn’t know what to say, how to explain… He had only one choice, he had to cancel.

Grabbing his phone, he scrolled down until he found John’s name. There was no way he could talk so he clicked on the bubble, and started to type a text.

Hate to do this so late minute, but I have to cancel tonight. I’m just not feeling up to it. Sorry! Raincheck? My treat, at McKay’s favorite restaurant, okay? Talk to u soon - E

He had just hit send when it his phone dinged back.

Hey, we’ll all a little under the weather, how about we bring take out, no cooking required?

Lying wasn’t his thing, but going on about how he just had a temper tantrum, and was still strung tight humming with anger. Besides there was nothing anyone can do, David was gone, he’d never hold him again, tell him how much he loved him, feel David’s warmth in his arms…

Through a curtain of tears, Evan typed I can’t do company, just I’m really fucked up right now…

He didn’t have long to wait before John responded, Okay, I get it, we all do… But if you change your mind, we’re here for you

Seeing John’s response, Evan exhaled the breath he had been holding, relieved that they were going to leave him alone. A couple of minutes passed, then his cell dinged again, You have a free pass for tonight, but I will be checking on you tomorrow, in person, understood?

Evan nodded silently and typed k and hit send. Alone, knowing no one was coming over Evan’s body rocked, suddenly his knees buckled and he dropped to the floor crying like a baby. It was one of those ugly cries, uncontrollable, snot running down mixing with his tears, but he couldn’t stop or hold it back even if he wanted to. He just lay there on the floor and curled up, crying through every painful thought and memory he’s had without David.

~*~*~*~

Feeling cold, completely groggy and disoriented, Evan woke up. He had a headache although it didn’t throb as badly as his hands. Sitting up he realized it was dark outside and he was still on the floor. He nearly jumped in his skin when someone knocked on his door.

Hanging his head, he ignored whoever it was, without any lights on, he hoped they’d get the message that no one was home. He stood up to go crawl into bed, but stopped when he heard McKay’s voice, “You don’t think he went out?”

Ronon answered, “His car is still here.”

“Well then he’s here.”

“In the dark? There’s not a single light on.”

“Maybe he’s sleeping?” Carson asked.

McKay gasped, “It’s only five thirty.”

Evan cursed under his breath. There was no way he had slept an entire day away – so what part of: he didn’t want company, didn’t Sheppard get? Disappointed and a little pissed Evan yelled out “Go away.”

He didn’t have to see it in order to know John was grinning when he told the others. “See he’s up.”

“He doesn’t sound very happy that we’re here.”

“That’s not the point. Evan, open the door or I’ll have Ronon break it down.”

“You wouldn’t…”

“Or I can let McKay and Radek take a shot and pick the lock.”

Aggravated, Evan unlocked the door but stood there blocking their entry. Tersely he stated, “I cancelled tonight.”

“Yes, but I said I’d check on you tomorrow, remember?”

Evan wavered; there was no way he slept on the floor that long. “I didn’t…

Sheppard interrupted and pushed past him, “Didn’t exactly say Pacific Time, but it is tomorrow, in Atlantis.”

“We’re not on Atlantis.”

It didn’t seem to bother John or the others as they herded into his living room.

McKay shrugged, “Not to belabor the point but it’s already tomorrow in Paris and London.”

Zelenka injected, “Czech Republic.”

“Right, see, half the world.”

Around him lights were being turned on as people milled around looking at everything, at him, fully exposed to their scrutiny.

Evan held his breath and waited for someone to say something, but no one did. Not about what he must look like, or about the holes in his walls or the mess scattered throughout the house. Instead without saying a word Carson directed him to sit down and started to clean and tend the cuts on his hands. John took the bags of Chinese food he had been holding and set them in the kitchen then came back with a bottle of Jack. He poured a tumbler and handed it him, ordering, “Drink it.”

Evan did, as soon as the glass was empty John poured him another shot. He was about to down it as quickly as he did the first, but Carson stopped him. “Nay lad you better be sipping that one; doctor’s orders. When was the last time you ate?”

When Evan didn’t answer, John did. “Gotcha Doc. We’ll have dinner then we can get to work on decorating – unless you don’t want us to….

Evan just stared at the man like he’d lost his mind. However when he didn’t protest John just nodded his head approvingly and smiled then went back to the kitchen calling over his shoulder. “I got kitchen duty – dinner will be ready in twenty.”

Next Ronon chipped in, “I got this.” Evan looked to see what this was – it was his discarded Christmas tree and he watched in amazement as Ronon secured the legs before inserting the middle into the pole then the top. While Radek and Mckay got the boxes and started to open them, taking one ornament after another out- arguing about the best way to decorate. One wanted to hang things by size the other by color… it wasn’t until Ronon had enough and just started to randomly putting the ornaments on without them.

Carson interrupted, “They’ll be a bit sore in the morning, but you’ll heal.”

Evan stared down at his hands and saw his hands were wrapped. He’d been so engrossed by Ronon, McKay and Zelenka he hadn’t realized Carson had bandaged his hands. Confused he muttered, “I don’t understand…”

Carson met his gaze, his voice solemn though there was a twinkle in his eyes. “Major, there’s nothing to understand, it’s what family does when one is in pain” then as if he couldn’t bear the seriousness, he broke out into a grin, “and you lad, just have to grin and bear it.”

Evan just stared at the man then his gaze went around the room - they were there when he met David, they had watched when he clumsily tried to court David. Then it was several long weeks following that catastrophe, before he finally won David over. When they returned to Earth, he asked Sheppard to stand up as his Best Man. At the wedding and all of them were there and then again he had to say goodbye they were his pallbearers.

Carson was right they were family. Suddenly he was overwhelmed and humbled. Although he was still hurting somehow his pain eased just a fraction for one simple fact - he wasn’t alone. They were his family, and he’d never been more grateful to have each and every one of them in his life.

Fin

FIC: Pet Academy: True accountability fandom: Teen Wolf (Stiles/Scott(pet), PG-13)

2016-12-18T06:42:54Z

.
Title: Pet Academy: True Accountability
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Characters/Pairings: Stiles/Scott(pet-slave), mentioned: Stiles/Jackson(pet-slave), Parrish/Sheriff Stilinski/Derek(pet-slave)
Rating: PG-13/R more for concept over hard kink
Kinks/Warnings: Extreme AU with werewolves kept as pet/slaves, dehumanization, collared pets kept on a leash, spanking. Un'beta'd.
Summary: An AU where werewolves are known and kept as pet/slaves. This follows where I left off from Pet Academy: Everyone Wants a Werewolf Pet here on: (LJ or AO3)
Word count: 2,830
AN: Please heed the kink/warnings as its not everyone's cuppa. In concept this is EXTREME pet/slave dehumanization - though in practical kinks IMHO it is very low key hence the pg-13 rating. Original piece and concept was written last year for the slaveexchange comm. This year, this piece is for the spanking_world comm. Also note, I don't know if I'm done with this verse or not - it will honestly depend on my muse.

1/1

By the time Jordan finally picked him and his pup, Scott, Stiles settled Scott in the back with Jordan’s stud Derek, and got in the front seat of Jordan’s cruiser. Sitting there he tried to act nonchalant after his first day at the Academy, but it was an obvious waste of energy.

Smirking Jordan asked, “By the look on your face, I’d say you had a good day?”

Unable to contain himself, Stiles nodded, and gleefully stated, “It wasn’t bad” then trailed off, suddenly remembering what he had to do when he got home. More somberly he added, “but I have to punish Scotty tonight.”

“Really, what did he do?”

Stiles gnawed on his lip, suddenly nervous to say anything. Especially since in his household with two active law officers, it was a major faux pas for Scott to one, come publicly - two, come independently sans an order. It wasn’t just breaking a harden rule of the Academy and a general rule within society, but also it was the one rule that was highly regarded at home. Breaking such a basic rule was considered crass on par to a pup having an accident on the carpet in someone else's home – it just wasn’t done or condoned. He had watched firsthand how Jordan and dad trained Derek. Why it was also the first thing he worked on and taught Scotty not to do. When he had told Lydia how Scott was well trained and could go without a cock ring, he had meant it. It was something Scott was able to do throughout the summer – at home, but also at the station and around over studs.

Now he had to explain not only did Scott break that rule, but he had done so on their first day at the Academy.

Jordan prompted, “Stiles…”

Stiles just shrugged and kept silent as the full realization of what happened really sank in. He knew he’d have to say it out loud, tell Jordan and dad, but if he had to he’d do so, he wanted to do it only once, and tell them together when they got home.

“That bad, huh? Just remember the Academy is all about learning to train, and maintain that training. Worst case scenario…”

Without thinking Stiles spoke up and finished for him, “I lose my tuition and get expelled from the Academy – not to mention the non-refundable cost of admission that I’ll be paying off for the next four years. It’ll cost me any chance to have Scott certified. Without it, to get him insured or have him bonded will be a miracle. On top of that any chance to recoup any finances will probably be zip if I can’t breed him out to sell any pups.” By the time he stopped talking, Stiles sat there stunned, replaying what he had just rambled off, his shoulders slumping further as his inner voice continued on. And if Harris gets any say he’d get you booted tomorrow and make sure it was publicly marked on Scott’s papers the reason he was expelled – and for good measure probably add in something that never happened. Suddenly his day just went from wonderfully good to okay to down right, OMG bad.

Jordan sighed, his voice heavily laced with empathy, “Geeze, all I was going to say is Scott wouldn’t be Academy certified.”

Stiles could only nod, and ignored Scott’s whimpers, knowing the pup could clearly hear the despair in his voice.

Pulling into the driveway Jordan parked, and cut the engine. Stiles was about to get out of the car when Jordan reached out and stopped him. He eyed the rearview mirror, looking back at the two pups then back to Stiles, meeting his gaze. “Listen, you have to stop it – all that negative talk. You knew what was at risk when you enrolled and make no mistake, its hard work. BUT over the last year you pushed through every obstacle thrown at you and proved yourself – to Deaton, me, and most of all, your dad. Stiles, he’s so proud of you, so don’t let one miss step define the outcome. You have a true innate talent with pups. I’m sure whatever Scott did can be corrected under your loving guiding hand.”

Stiles dropped his head; pondering the rare praise Jordan had just offered then he turned and met Jordan’s gaze, “All right, thanks man.”

Returning his smile, Jordan briefly squeezed his shoulder then turned away, opening and closing his car door then opening the back seat door. “Derek, come on let’s go see if your daddy needs any help with dinner.”

In lightening speed, the stud slid across the seat and was out of the car sitting at Jordan’s feet anxiously waiting for Jordan’s direction. Jordan ruffled Derek’s hair and slammed the door closed, walking bristly toward the house. Stiles stood with his hand on the handle of the passenger door then opened the door. Unlike Derek Scott moved sluggishly, hanging his head.

The pup knew he was in trouble and was going to have to be spanked. Lydia was right, showing up tomorrow with Scott leashed with his bottom glowing red was the only alternative to rectify today’s catastrophe. However what Jordan said also rang true. It was actually only a misstep one that he knows that both, he and Scotty can overcome. Today happened because he was distracted, he had allowed his feelings and concern for Lydia to cloud his mind. Doing so he ignored his pup, and that led down to a slippery slope where there was no return. The truth was he was just a guilty and should be punished too.

The insight hit like a ton of bricks and he realized what he had to do.

His hand gently curled into Scotty’s hair urging him to come out, “Come on Scotty, let’s go and get this over with.”

Slamming the door behind him Stiles headed toward the front door with Scott slowly trailing behind him. It was obvious Scotty knew knew he was going to be punished, but there was no way out of it. Inside Stiles headed toward the kitchen and it took him a minute to realize Scott wasn’t behind him, but was heading toward the stairs where Stiles would punish the pup.

Stiles whistled, drawing Scott’s attention. “Not yet boy” then under his breath added, “mine first.”

Once Scott was by his side, Stiles opened the kitchen door. Jordan was sitting at the table with Derek at his feet while his dad was at the stove cooking. Seeing the picture of the three of them, Stiles couldn’t help but smile. As much as he liked Natalie and loved Lydia and the idea of them becoming a family, seeing dad with Jordan, he knows dad had made the right decision. He hadn’t seen he’s dad this happy not since mom. On top of that Jordan did what he couldn’t, getting dad to eat healthier, exercise the whole nine yards. Jordan said it was more about letting his dad have more control by letting him do the cooking. He agreed, but privately Stiles thinks it might be a bit more that dad wants to keep Jordan, who is, younger and pretty freaking hot, interested in dad’s older model.

Stiles carded his fingers through Scott’s curls and cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention.

Dad was the first to speak, “Hey kiddo, how was your first?”

He gave Jordan a side glance and nod of thanks for not saying anything.

Closing his eyes, Stiles plunged forward. “Not as well as I had hoped.”

After hearing the seriousness of voice, Stiles watched his dad turned off the stove. Then he turned toward him, giving him his full attention and asked, “Alright what happened?”

Stiles stared at his feet, and then he looked up to see the concern in dad’s gaze. “It was my fault, I wasn’t paying attention. We hadn’t talked all summer so I was bit preoccupied with seeing Lydia for the first time.” At the mention of her name, dad’s shoulders slumped. “Oh kiddo…”

“Like I said it was my fault. I ran into her after class… she was pretty shocked to see me there with a pup.”

Dad smiled and chuckled at that.

Looking as contrite as he could, Stiles went on, “While we were talking, I let her friends pet Scott… I just…” remembering Stiles rolled his eyes at his own stupidity, “he wasn’t wearing a cock ring. I didn’t even notice until it was too late and he came on Allison’s skirt.”

Behind him he heard Jordan choke and turned to see his eyes bugging out. It took Stiles a second to realize the man was choking back laughter.

“Ah well, it wasn’t so funny when Harris witnessed it and wanted to report me. Luckily Lydia pointed out it was after hours. Then Allison chimed in that timing Scott’s response, a treat for her pup. Anyways Lydia strongly suggested I return tomorrow showcasing Scott’ punished ass…. And I will, but I think it’s only fair if I’m punished first. Fact is, I let Scott down. He’s a good pup and never would have come, especially on his first day of training if I wasn’t so arrogant by not having him fitted properly with a cock ring, or if I had been paying attention in the first place.”

“I see.”

It made him nervous to see Dad just stand there looking at the floor with his arms crossed.

“Dad, I… will you please punish me?”

“Alrighty then, though that’s a pretty big offense. What do you think Jordan?”

“It is, but coming forward and taking responsibility is a good sign. Maybe equal to double what the pups punishments going to be?”

“Good idea. So what’s Scott’s punishment?”

“Twenty spanks tomorrow morning before we leave.”

“Good plan, then twenty for you as well.”

Stiles bit his lip and nodded. “Mind if we do this now before I lose my nerve?”

Once dad nodded, he unbuttoned his pants and headed into the dining room. There he stepped out of his pants and pulled his briefs down. By the time he turned around dad was sitting there with Scott at his feet, waiting for him to lie across his lap.

Stiles didn’t pause and ignored his pup’s whine when Scott sat there helplessly and watched as he got into position.

His dad asked, “Ready?”

Suddenly he felt like he was five again, and Stiles blurted out, “No! However as quickly as he said it, Stiles rescinded and followed it with an accepting nod. It was what his dad needed as his hand landed hard on his flesh.

Without thought he yelled out, “SHIT!”

Calmly dad said, “What your mouth” and continued to spank his ass hard.

Stiles gritted his teeth, while the blows resounded in his ears. Suddenly he felt like that five year old, thoroughly crushed that he had disappointed his dad. Tears well up and trailed down his face unchecked. His ass burned, but it did nothing to the pain he felt at disappointing his dad.

Suddenly dad stopped and righted him to sit up, as dad hugged him, offering soothing back caresses, “it’s okay kiddo.”

Stiles hiccupped unable to stop crying and pushed further into his dad’s embrace.

By the time he did stop dad pulled back and wiped the tears from his face, offering a smile, “Better?”

Wordlessly Stiles nodded, whispering his thanks before he disentangled himself and hastily got off his dad’s lap and stood.

Immediately he reached for his underwear and pants and hastily put them on.

His dad stood, “You go and talk to your pup. Dinner should be ready in a half hour.”

“Thanks dad. Come-on Scotty, let’s go upstairs”

Stiles didn’t have to turn around to see if Scott followed him up the stairs, he heard the pup scamper up beside him. Stiles waited until Scott was in his room before he shut the door behind him.
Walking over to his bed, called over to Scotty and ordered. “Over here boy, up on the bed.”

Scott dropped to the floor and crawled over, but instead of getting up on the bed the pup groveled at Stiles feet.

Stiles knew Scotty understood what happened and that was going to be punished in the morning - this wasn’t about that. This was his pup being upset that he had been spanked – that he had asked for it, that Stiles had taken the responsibility for Scott’s actions.

Feeling overwhelmed, Stiles knees buckled and he sat down. It wasn’t until his ass hit the mattress that he realize that might not have been a great idea and whelped in pain.
Scott pushed up whimpering in empathy. Somehow he was making everything worse.

Gently but with force Stiles grabbed Scott and made the pup look at him. “Stop it; I’m fine, just like you’re going to be fine tomorrow. It’s only a little spanking…” Stiles sighed at Scott’s look of disbelief. “All right yes it does hurt, but it wasn’t my first spanking and most likely it won’t be my last.”

“Scott, listen to me. I made a mistake and it could have cost you a future.” His fingers dug into Scott’s soft curls, “I’m so sorry boy. I promise, I’ll work harder, train you harder – I want you to have everything Scott, to be mine forever…” the words were getting caught in his throat, as he stared into Scott’s eyes. “Do you understand boy?”

Scott pulled on his hand to position it by his ass. Stiles nodded, “Yeah you’re still going to be spanked, but tomorrow morning. Lydia’s right your ass needs to be nice and rosy, but not blistering. You’re also going to have to wear a cock ring every day while we’re at the Academy. We can’t afford to have another accident like today.”

Scott whimpered. “It’s okay, it’s really my fault, but I promise I’ll do better.” Encouraged by Stiles steady caresses, Scott leaned up and started to happily lick Stiles face then over his lips. Stiles immediately opened his mouth and accepted Scott’s kisses.

Seconds passed with each kiss escalating into a more passionate kiss. Stiles pulled Scott up onto the bed, letting the pup’s body blanket him. Stiles felt Scott’s hard cock grinding against his own that was tented within his pants. He was about to undo his pants when Jordan suddenly yelled up, “Dinner” at the same time Derek barked.

Flopping back against the mattress, Stiles cursed. Above him, he watched the conflict play out across Scott’s face. His pup was randy and ready to go, but unless Stiles started to fuck him right now, his pup was hungry. Still Scott didn’t move, waiting for Stiles to decide.

Fingers slid under Scott’s collar, petting the skin under the furred lining of the collar. Smiling, Stiles nodded, “You heard him, dinner. Let’s go eat” he pulled the collar and kissed Scott, grinning wickedly, he vowed, “Besides, we’re going to need the energy for later.”

Scott’s tongue lolled out in an excited pant, kissing him sloppily until Stiles was able to pull out and away from the pup. Downstairs Derek continued to howl, waiting for Scott to join him. Stiles heart swelled as Scott circled excitedly eager to go down to Derek. Jackson might have been his first although very temporary pup-slave, but it Scott who won and had his heart. Opening the door, Stiles gave his permission, “Go on.” It was all Scott needed as he raced down the stairs to join the older stud, Derek.

Although he still had to spank Scott in the morning, Stiles couldn’t stop grinning over the day’s events. First, seeing both Lydia and Jackson and more importantly Lydia seems to have forgiven him – even if he had nothing to do with their parents break-up. Second, finding out it was Allison’s aunt Kate that had tortured and abused the Hale pups. Lastly discovering there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for Scott, including to be a better trainer and master, being spanked for failing his pup in the first place.

At the bottom of the stairs he looked over to see Derek and Scott playfully rolling around while dad was serving dinner. Dad looked up, “Come on and sit down before it gets cold.”

Jordan kicked out his chair revealing a pillow, and chuckled softly. “Just in case…”

Dad kissed the man’s cheek. “And that’s why I love you.” He glanced around the table, “Damn I forgot the sauce, and the bread, hold on…”

Jordan popped up and went after him, “here let me help.”

Stiles sat down with a plop ignoring the warm arch spreading across his ass. He sat there by himself, with the pups still playing, Jordan and dad in the kitchen, his grin widened into a goofy smile as he realized that although today was a hell of a day and he wouldn’t trade one second of it for anything.

Fin~

FIC: Rewards 1/1 fandom: Big Bang Theory (Amy/Sheldon, PG)

2016-12-03T02:37:33Z

.
Title: Rewards
Fandom: Big Bang Theory
Characters/Pairing(s): Amy/Sheldon (established relationship)
Summary: A spanking fluff, negotiations and rewards
Rating: PG
Warnings: S10, un'beta'd
Word Count: 1,144
AN: Written for spanking_world day 2 =)

1/1

“Sheldon, I’m sorry. I know what I did was wrong….” Slowly Amy looked up at Sheldon hoping she had achieved a repentant look. Then she bit her lip, almost failing to continue a serious expression and not let her excitement shine through. Even thinking of brain matter did nothing to hinder her growing desire and want.

However to get to her goal she needed to appear and sound remorseful. “If it’ll make you feel better, you can spank me, again?”

Sheldon stared at her, contemplating her words. Finally he said, “Hmm that might be a just punishment befitting your complete carelessness. You understand now that no one, but no one is allowed to touch anything on that shelf. Except for me of course, and this includes to dust. Although if you didn’t ignore clause 93 A, I will say it was a generous gesture of thoroughness in regards to cleaning.”

Amy nodded eagerly; she was having a difficult time focusing on being contrite. Absently she straightened and squeezed her thighs together reminding herself why she wanted and needed to feel Sheldon’s hand on her derriere again. It wasn’t just a matter of her fantasies coming true, but there was more to it. It also made her feel things she never had before, connected and whole. It was something she desperately wanted to feel again and just the hint of getting another spanking was making her sobbing wet.

“Alright then I accept your terms of punishment.”

Overly excited, she nearly jumped out of her skin at Sheldon’s proclamation. After a quick recover she blurted out, “Do you want to go over to the couch and I’ll bend over your knees again?”

“No, that will not be necessary since I will not be spanking you.”

Amy’s mouth dropped open in shocked realization that he was serious. “But Sheldon…”

“No … besides…”

Sheldon just stood there smiling. In fact, he was grinning like he’d swallowed a provable canary. For the first time tonight Amy was genuinely baffled. Crocking her head, she asked, prodding him to finish, “Besides?”

“Besides, spanking you doesn’t quantify as a punishment, now does it. The true punishment would be to not spank you.”

Flushed she gasped, “Sheldon…”

“Do you deny it?”

“I… Sheldon… I…” Embarrassed and beyond shocked that he had figured out her secret. However it was the true impact of Sheldon’s words that crushed her heart at what that really meant – she would no longer have the opportunity to be spanked.

Almost to the point of preening, Sheldon happily announced “See I was right.”

She couldn’t help herself and stared at him, letting her face display how miserable she suddenly felt.

He returned her stare. After a few minutes, his smile wavered, though only by a fraction as his voice stayed firm. “I know it’s upsetting now, it is a punishment. However once you’ve demonstrated good behavior, you’ll be rewarded.”

“Rewarded?”

“Yes, since you enjoy being spanked so much. We can add it in. Of course, we will have to discuss terms, make amendments to our contracts…” he waved his hand offhandedly, “we’d have to discuss whether it’ll be a daily, weekly or monthly routine – hand or paddle…”

While her heart pounded against her chest, Amy offered her preference in a thunderous screech. “Daily!”

Sheldon raised his brow in a very Spock impression. Ignoring his disapproval over her shout, she cleared her throat and tried to compose herself with a bit more decorum. “I think a daily reward would be most beneficial.”

“Hmmm, maybe. I think you should write up your desires and we will start negotiations in say eighteen hours from now – nine o’clock sharp tomorrow morning. Oh scratch that tomorrows Sunday, let’s make that ten o’clock after Doctor Who, is over.”

Nearly bouncing, Amy gazed lovingly at him unable to hide her nervousness, “Sheldon are you sure you want to do this?”

“Amy, you are my girlfriend, and I love you. The truth is if spanking you to hurt you was the intent then yes, I would have a problem. However since this is more about giving you pleasure, to help you achieve a better a balance within yourself while also helping you stay within the guidelines of our contract – this is something not only can I do, I look forward to helping you achieve that goal. And if the reward, to you satisfaction – includes tanning your hide, then yes, I want to do this for you.”

Amy stood there in awe. She had acknowledged to herself a long time ago that Sheldon was the love of her life, and honestly wouldn’t have believed she could ever love the man any more than she did. Yet staring into his eyes right now, and seeing the depth of his love stare back at her – it was a love that equaled her own, and seeing it clearly reflected on Sheldon’s face floored her.

“Sheldon I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say. You love me, I love you. Now you need to go start writing a detailed list for our negotiations tomorrow. Understood?”

Amy nodded, smiling giddily and made a beeline to her laptop.

“Good, I’ll leave you to it. I’m going to go downstairs and wait for Raj. We’re going to go to the comic bookstore. I’ll be back with dinner.”

At the door he paused, “And Amy, between now and negations, we’ll have no hanky panky. Agreed?”

Although disappointed she agreed. “Alright Sheldon.”

Pleased with her answer, Sheldon replied, “Very well then I’ll see you later this evening.” The door had just closed when it opened again, “And Amy, no electric tooth brushes either.”
He didn’t wait to hear her response; the crimson flush that raced up her neck and over her face was answer enough as he closed the door again.

She stood there for a long time before uttering a sigh of want then eagerly sat down to open her computer and start writing a list. She hadn’t written more than a half a page, before realizing how agonizingly long the next nineteen hours were going to be, before she found any relief within Sheldon’s hands. Yet any doubt she had had evaporated with Sheldon’s words. Not only would this be worth the wait, but Sheldon was the right man to grant all her wishes. Now all she had to do was ignore her body’s needs and wait out the next few hours. Suddenly her cell phone beeped. Picking it up, she read the IM Sheldon sent: Amy, note: no self stimuli, masturbation thru showers, baths or otherwise. It’ll be an interesting experiment. I predict it’ll be the first of many to see how stimulated you get before achieving an award. Have to go Raj is here. <3 S

Amy bit her lip and smothered a moan; yup the wait was going to kill her.

Fin~

FIC: Flicker of Light 1/1 fandom: Downton Abbey (Thomas - Carson, G)

2016-11-30T17:45:05Z

Title: Flicker of light
Fandom: Downton Abbey
Characters/Pairing(s): Thomas - Carson
Rating: G
Warnings: S6, after Thomas' incident of attempted suicide
Word Count: 632
AN A challenge for gameofcards Team Clubs, challenge #34 Missing Moments (or wishful moments). I'll be watching the last episode this weekend, but while watching last week this popped up, a moment I wish had taken place. Anyhoo, hello still around- watch for it, I will be posting a few fics this coming month =)

1/1

“Oh hello Miss Baxter, please excuse the intrusion. Mr. Barrows if you’re feeling up to it and wouldn’t mind, a word?”

Wide-eyed Thomas just stared at the butler then glanced at Baxter who had brought up his breakfast.

When he nervously met her gaze, she only smiled encouragingly, offering a measure of reassurance.

Jerkily he nodded, swallowing pass the lump in his throat and choked out, “Of course Mr. Carson.”

“Alone?”

“Certainly, Mr. Carson.” Standing Miss Baxter turned to Thomas, “If you don’t object, I’d like to check on you later this afternoon, Mr. Barrows.”

Flustered at her generosity, Thomas replied, “I’d like that Miss Baxter. Thank you!”

“Very good then Mr. Barrows. I’ll see you later.” At the door, she addressed her goodbye with a nod, “Mr. Carson” and closed the door behind her leaving the two men alone.

Thomas waited for Mr. Carson to say something – anything. Instead he stood there silent looking around the room and most notably he avoided looking Thomas’ way. Thomas felt his stomach tighten, this was it Carson was ready to sack him, here and now…

Finally, Mr. Carson straightened. “I want to inform you…” he cleared his throat, “to inform you as you know Mr. Mosely is taking on the job as teacher. It’s not a permanent vacancy, but it leads us in need of a footman again. Understandingly you can return to duty once the doctor has cleared you – that is if you would like to stay on for a time?”

Thomas’ mouth dropped, “For a time? His Lordship would let me stay?”

“Yes, it was his suggestion to put things on hold in order to keep the house running smoothly.”

“And you Mr. Carson, do you want me to stay?”

The man looked at him appalled that he would outright question him. Suddenly Carson straightened then inhaled sharply. “It is not my place to question his Lordship.”

Discouraged Thomas looked away, “Of course not, Mr. Carson.”

“However, Mr. Barrows I will say it appears I was wrong to accuse you of any irregularities regarding Mr. Parker. He informed me how you have taken him under your wing, trying to teach him how to read. I told you once before I will not pretend to understand your – situation. Yet you have settled here, know your place without question - and like most families, even those fallen or ill-favored, they are still family. Your ….

Your incident, has reminded even someone like me who is so set in their ways, that as much as I might have suggested otherwise, you, Mr. Barrows would be missed. In other words, you Mr. Barrows, are indeed family.”

Thomas just stared-wide-eyed at the man, he had to be hearing things. First waking up then discovering he was still here at Downton Abbey, to the rotating door of visitors, most notably Lady Mary with his Lordship George. To now hear his Lordship has rescinded the demand that he find employment elsewhere - it was overwhelming. His emotions were quickly unraveling at the generosity offered that he couldn’t utter a sound. Thomas looked up at Carson with hope his answer and gratitude was easily displayed as he nodded his acceptance.

Whatever Carson saw seemed to appease the man as he smiled. “Very good then, I shall inform his Lordship. Now, I will leave you to rest Mr. Barrows. Good day.”

Through watery eyes Thomas nodded and smiled in return as the man left. Staring at the closed door, Thomas didn’t bother to hide or wipe away the tears that fell freely down his cheeks, recalling Carson’s words; the declaration that he was family. The cherished words eased a pain he had lived with his entire life. It wasn’t perfect, but it filled him with hope of what tomorrow might bring.

Fin

FIC: Purr 1/1 fandom: Dark Angel (Max, Joshua, Logan, pre-Alec/Logan, PG)

2016-10-18T04:52:13Z

Title: Purr
Fandom: Dark Angel
Characters/Pairing(s): Max, Joshua, Logan, Alec, pre-Alec/Logan
Rating: PG
Warnings: NA, Unbeta'd
Word Count: 1,147
Words/Prompts Used: cat nap, cat's out of the bag
AN: Written for gameofcards Team Clubs. Note un'beta'd & that it's been a long time since I wrote anything, especially in DA.

1/1

Max knocked adding her voice, “Knock knock” as she unlocked and opened the door to walk in with Joshua trailing behind her. Scanning the room she looked around for Logan. Not finding him she called out, “Logan…”

A door opened. Standing in the doorway, Logan lifted his hand to his lips, “Shush”

When Logan didn’t move, Max became curious and walked over to see what the fuss was about. There she peeked inside the room and gasped at the sight.

It was Alec, curled up on the bed sound asleep.

She raised an eyebrow wondering, one, why Alec was asleep, and two, more importantly in Logan’s bedroom in Logan’s bed.

She couldn’t decide if she should be angry or annoyed, so she felt both. The reality was she shouldn’t be feeling anything, since she and Logan, were no longer an item, and haven’t been together in long time. They had called it quits years ago and she had moved on. In her heart of hearts, Max had no regrets. Although her love for Logan altered, the strength of that love and friendship never wavered.

Yet seeing Alec there, her lieutenant, in Logan’s bed, a place she had never occupied. Max couldn’t deny in that very moment all she saw was red. Closing her eyes Max took a deep breath. She knew if she didn’t a handle on this right here, right now then there would be no way she’d be able to hide her thoughts from Logan or even the more perspective Joshua over the fact that she was for all intent purposes, jealous.

Above her, she heard Joshua’s whispered voice and the jovialness as he spoke. “Alec, taking a cat nap?”

Logan chuckled, and added softly. “You can say that. He got in late this morning after pulling a seventy-two hour shift.”

Without thought Max barked out. “What the hell, why would he do that? He wasn’t scheduled.”

They each turned toward Alec, and waited. Alec didn’t nothing but snuggle further against the pillows.

Finally Logan exhaled then shrugged, “Said he was helping out a friend. To be honest I thought it was for you.”

Max shook her head, and whispered back. “I never asked him to…” Abruptly she shut her mouth, recalling how Mole and Feyd were suddenly free to go away. She knew they had gotten someone to cover their shifts; she just had no idea Alec was the one who had come to their rescue.

Feeling slightly vindicated, Max added for good measure. “Hmmm, well just know I didn’t ask or order Alec to do any work outside of his usual shifts.”

“I see.” Logan nodded and smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. In fact, Logan looked more troubled then before.

“Wait a minute, what’s going on Logan?” Then she looked over at Alec then back to Logan. “Something going on between you two? Did you have a fight?”

Logan looked up startled, “What? Are you kidding me, me and Alec? Max you’re looking at this all wrong. I just gave Alec the bed to sleep.”

Yet the way Logan said it trying to deny what she could clearly see in the depth of the man’s eyes baffled her. Max knew there was something there between them, at least there was for Logan. Her eyes shifted back to Alec, wondering. Even as it crossed her mind, she had no doubt that Alec would be interested in Logan. Why not, Logan was easy on the eyes, intelligent with a quick wit. Plus she already knew that Alec was a man of diversity and enjoyed men as much as he did women.

“Right so you just gave up your bed…”

“Like I said he just finished a seventy-two shift. Besides at his place the roof is leaking - it was the least I could do.”

Joshua sniffed the air, and wrinkled his nose before he said, “Wet cat.”

Max and Logan stared up at the dog-man.

“Yes, okay, maybe we should go…” and he held out his arm hoping she’d take his direction to move back into the living room.

Max didn’t budge and stared him down; she wasn’t having it and crossed her arms. “No, not until you tell me what’s going on.”

“There’s nothing going on…”

“Yeah, I can see that now. The question is, why not? You obvious care for him, and he you, otherwise he wouldn’t be curled up in your bed, purring.”

Logan’s mouth dropped open and turned toward the man on his bed.

“Happy cats purr.”

Max smiled at that because it was true. It wasn’t that she had a lot of experience being happy, but these days, she could honestly say she was getting a taste of happiness. It was something she wouldn’t want to deny or intrude upon anyone else’s happiness. Max glanced back at Alec, although he was exhausted Alec was still an X5, meaning apart of him knew and was aware they were standing in the entry of the door. Yet he still felt safe and protected enough to purr in peaceful content. Suddenly her instincts screamed that Alec was fully aware of his feelings for Logan, and Logan’s for Alec – Alec was giving Logan time to figure it out… or for some reason Logan was tripping over his own feet to not get involved with Alec.

“Alright the cat’s out of the bag, and to quote Joshua, you two need to get busy. Isn’t that right big guy?”

Apparently pleased with Max’s pronouncement, Joshua grinned, and uttered a small bark as he pumped his fist.

“I’ll give you guys seventy-two hours to get things on track. I’ll call, but expect you to be ready to go over these reports by then. And Alec…”

There was no response, but the steady purring ceased, “Try not to break each other. Alight I’m outta here, come on Joshua let’s blaze.”

Logan started to sputter, “What, Max you got this all…

Max turned and faced Logan. “Logan, trust yourself, trust Alec. He’s not me and he’s not going to break your heart – in fact, I’m betting he’ll mend the damage I did, if you give him a chance.” Gently with as much force as she could Max pushed him inside the room, stumbling toward the bed.

Abruptly she turned around and pushed Joshua out and closed the door behind her. “Come on big fella, let’s go, before they start doing things I don’t want to hear…”

“Max rather watch?”

Max caught her step and just shook her head even as she felt the tinge of red heat flaming her face. At the front door, Max stood there and held it open. Trying and failing to avoid looking at the dog-man. As he passed her she muttered under her breath, “You know sometimes you really are a dog.”

Without missing a beat he happily added, “And first!”

Fin~

Teen Wolf S6 and final season to premieres in Nov, brief writing/rl update

2016-07-22T16:17:07Z

Beware S6 teaser contains SPOILERS

Hmm, on one hand I am a bit sad because atm I'm writing in the fandom. However on the other hand, my interest and focus involves Peter and Derek Hale. Meaning I prefer to write/read earlier seasons, or AUs that continue to involve the Hales. I don't think this will affect my muse. (I have a muse for dozens of canceled shows )

In fact, my only muse bump regarding TW was recent when I was attacked over on AO3 from anon on tagging my fic: The fix-it plan, that I somehow soiled their Derek/Stiles tag by also tagging 3some, Derek/Scott, Scott/Stiles etc. IDEK…. It was the first time I’ve been attacked or flamed by anonymous. Sadly, because of other rl stuff going on at the same time they hit I wasn’t in a great place to just shake it off. I didn’t change tags, I just put up a note to why I put the tags in place and for those not interested just scroll on by: no harm, no foul, no worries! kind of thing then deleted the initial comments then proceeded to get 2 more. I haven’t deleted them, but thankfully I seem to have fallen off their radar. Since then I found other authors who were really hit way more than me (I got less than a dozen total, so in comparison not too bad). It’s just SO weird, this was on shipping entitlement not actual fic content, sex, violence, kinks etc… I mean the point of tags is to inform and if it’s not your thing to scroll on by o.O

Although it’s annoying as hell, I’ve finally let it go – in fact, my muse was sparked to continue the piece, but in a different direction then where I originally had planned to go – so I’m kind of excited about that. Outside of a loose note/outline on that, I need to put it on the back burner and get back to work on my bigbang. If that’s going to happen I really need to push and get the draft done. The draft due date is Aug 28th, but actually I only have until Aug 21st since I leave on vacation the 24th.

I’m going back east to be with family and finally going to bury my brother’s ashes on the 26th. So there is that….

Okay I have to run, waves, hope you’re all doing well,
<33333 & smooches to U ALL ^_^

FIC: The Fix-it plan fandom: Teen Wolf (Stiles/Derek/(Scott), NC-17)

2016-07-17T16:21:20Z

Title: The Fix-it plan
Author: Denyce
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairings: Stiles/Derek, pre-3some Stiles/Scott/Derek, established relationships mentioned: Scott/Derek, Scott/Stiles
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Stiles has a fix-it plan, now he only needs to get Derek on board. Or the one where Derek happily discovers Scott isn't the only boy-scout who always comes prepared within the pack.
Warnings: Au, pre-3some (this part Sterek), possible WIP ( depending on my muse once I finish my Sterek bigbang. I hope to come back and add more that will include Scott into the mix.)
Word count: 4,067
AN: Hmm, I'm not even sure where/when the bunny hit, but yeah it kind of took over. A big thank you to the lovely ceares for the beta *kisses* Note, I also put this under AU as I sometimes alter little things to fit into the story. Meaning please just go with the flow if you stumble across some tidbit that might be out of sequence/canon of the show.

1/1

Agitated, Stiles paced his bedroom “I know, I get it. I shouldn't have been eavesdropping. But, that’s not the point -and not- what we need to discuss.” Stiles stopped and glanced over to see Derek’s reaction. His face fell as he saw the beta wasn’t buying it.

“It was an accident!” Exasperated, Stiles lifted his arms, and exclaimed loudly, what?.

Dropping his head in defeat, Stiles looked up pleadingly, hoping Derek would just drop the subject of how it all happened. Exhaling he tried a different tack, “Listen, in the grand scream of things it doesn’t really matter, does it? I know, and now, I can’t not know, you know?”

Stiles could clearly see Derek’s confusion; the man was a step and half behind trying to decipher what the hell he just said. Taking advantage of the moment, Stiles stated his true concern – why he had called Derek in the first place. “The point is, finding out is going to hurt Scott – hurt him really bad and you know it!”

Going for the jugular, Stiles hit Derek with his last weapon, his version of the puppy eyed look. It was a look that worked numerous times when he had been on the receiving end. It was a skill he had learned from Scott. Admittedly, he wasn’t quiet as proficient as Scott, who had an innate ability to make anyone melt. He had always considered it Scott’s true superpower. However, over the years Stiles had studied and applied enough techniques to project his own emotions; to eventually get good enough that even Scott had caved under his silent pleas, whether he deserved it or not. Right now he needed every weapon in order to win Derek over. For extra measure, Stiles added a heavy hint of desperation to his voice. “Come on Derek, you got to help me fix this.”

Derek’s eyes widened then, he chuckled although there was no humor in his tone. “Is that what you want to call it, fixing this?”

“Yes!” He ran his hands through his hair, rubbing hard across his scalp, his anxiety increased with every heartbeat – he had to make this work. “We can’t let Scott know his dad isn’t coming back, or worse that he’s riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after with his new family. At least not yet, not while Sr. asshole is still in town; Derek, you don’t know their history. I do!”

“Damn it! Use those wolfie powers of yours, you know I’m telling you the truth, it’s not good. It’ll utterly crush Scott to discover his dad has a new family. It’ll be worse when he finds out he has a baby brother, one the asshole never had the decency to even tell his first born son about.”

Derek’s features remained stoic leaving Stiles to guess whether or not he was getting through. “Are you starting to get the picture? You’ve seen Scott, seen how much pressure he’s been under. All that responsibility as the new Alpha, dealing with the pack, us… Not to mention school, worrying about his mom. This is going to put him right over the edge. Seriously, think about it, if Scott did anything to the man…” Even as he said it, images flooded his mind: of Scott hitting the asshole, a FBI agent, out of shock and anger. Worst his own dad would have no choice but to arrest Scott. With the last image, Stiles muttered, “Shit!” belatedly realizing exactly how quickly things could spiral out of control.

At Derek’s continued silence, Stiles paced across the room again, unable to do anything other than wait for Derek’s response as the beta processed everything he said. He abruptly stopped after his second pass, “Trust me I don’t want to protect that jerk, but the bottom line is WE have to protect Scott from doing something that in the long run he’d regret. And eventually Scott would. You said it yourself, he’s a boy scout through and through. The simple truth is under all that anger he loves his dad just as strongly as ever.”

“So your plan to fix it is to compound the problem further by lying to him?”

“Yes, no… damn it Derek, that’s why I need your help – we have to fix this.”

Stiles noticed Derek’s eyes flash in anger, “You keep saying that. Scott’s my alpha, I can’t lie to him.”

Stiles clenched his fist. None of this was going according to plan. After biting the inside of his cheeks, Stiles ground out as calmly as he could, “I’m not asking you to lie.”

Derek tilted his head in blatant disbelief.

Exasperated, Stiles sighed, then stated like he was talking to a child. “If you don’t say anything it’s not a lie.”

Derek didn’t miss a beat and corrected him, “No? It’s still a lie of omission. “

Losing his patience, Stiles grunted, “Come on, let’s not get technical.”

Derek leveled his eyes at Stiles then in obvious frustration, he crossed his arms, “What do you want from me?”

Relieved Derek was going to at least hear him out, Stiles smiled and cleared his throat. Silently he reminded himself he needed to say this just right. It was after all for a good cause, one Derek should be behind since he loved Scott just as much as he did, right? Facing Derek though, Stiles couldn’t relax and the words spilled out in a rush, “We need to distract Scott. And it has to be big enough that he doesn’t go and do something stupid like confront his dad. You and I know if he goes after his dad he’d most likely end up in jail - after putting Senior asshat in the hospital. Not that I have any issue with him landing in the hospital. But Scott getting arrested – we can’t let that happen.”

Derek just continued to stare at him, letting long minutes pass by before he responded.

Suddenly Stiles saw the truth; Sourwolf hated to concede that Stiles might be right. He was bowled over by the insight.

“Fine. Distract him how?”

Stiles loudly clapped his hands together in victory before waving off Derek’s irritation. “Well, you know as well as I do, he wants us to get together. If he thinks we’re okay with that and you know… doing it. It’ll shock him,” then he added, in a slightly singsong voice, “in the most delightful way.”

As soon as it came out of his mouth sourwolf’s eyes bugged, Stiles realized it was a mistake and started to backtrack, doing his best to be serious. “Right, forget that. Point is it’ll keep him from thinking about his dad. We just need a day. By the time Scott remembers, McCall senior will be out of town.”

“Senior might be out of town by then, but I’ll still be here and Scott will have my hide once he figures out that we deceived him.”

Grinning, Stiles was unable to stop the reeling excitement bubbling to the fore. The simple fact that Derek Hale had conceded that he was right, wrought delicious vindication for all the times Derek wouldn’t listen or consider his advice. Then his mind immediately went to a fantasy that he’d replayed over and over; and right now, he was at the threshold of making that fantasy a reality, which made him downright giddy.

However, the steady glare Derek threw his way reminded him to tread carefully. Licking his lips, he tried to focus. “Come on, it’s for Scott’s own good and you know it. Besides, you were an alpha, you can’t tell me you’re afraid of our little Scotty.”

“Little Scotty as you call him, isn’t so little! He’s my alpha.” Then Derek stressed the point further, “He’s your alpha.”

Stiles shrugged, annoyed Derek was trying to ruin his feel-good vibe. “So what as long as Scott finds out after Senior leaves town? You’re telling me you’re afraid of a reprimand? What’s the worse our big bad alpha can do? Give us a little spanking? Come on, you got to remember Scott loves us, he’d never really hurt us deliberately. Or are you telling me you can’t handle a little spanking?”

Derek tsked, “If it was only a little spanking, no, but do you seriously believe Scott would somehow let this slide – for either one of us?”

Stiles didn’t want to hear it, because in his mind the end justified the means. However he knew Scott would be pissed. He’d react, and take his hurt and pain out on them. It wouldn’t last, he knew that too, but Scott’s initial reaction – yeah that was going to go south.

When he didn’t deny the truth, Derek smirked. “Think about it, Stiles, reprimanded in front of the entire pack - bent over his knee, ass in the air…”

He was shocked over the image filling his mind: the entire pack? He hadn’t thought of that. Stiles gulped, staring wide-eyed at the beta. Then he saw a twinkle of excitement within Derek’s gaze. Whatever reaction the wolf had wanted to provoke: fear, shame, embarrassment; all of it fell apart miserably under the spark he recognized in Derek’s eyes, lust. It was a look he had seen before, only he had seen it reserved and directed at their alpha, Scott, not himself.

Squaring his shoulders, Stiles confidently stepped into Derek’s personal space and licked his lips, ready to turn the tables. Unable to hold back the words or the charged emotions behind them, Stiles asked, “Is that something you’ve been thinking about- my ass?”

He watched as Derek’s eyes dilated. Then Derek surprised him by accepting his challenge and anted up by declaring, “Your red ass? Yes.”

Stiles’ breath hitched before he choked out. “So, Scott does the same thing to you, then?”

It was obvious by the sudden look of confusion etched on Derek’s face that he had lost Stiles’ train of thought. Stiles gnawed on his bottom lip to keep from grinning. He knew Scott, if he’d been on receiving end of Scott’s pillow talk, revving Stiles up with images and stories of his sexual encounters and prowess with Derek for the last two months, then he’s willing to bet his alpha was having similar bedroom banter with Derek, in regards to him.

Stiles scanned Derek’s face. He knew from experience with Scott, that Derek would smell his arousal. Knew the wolf would know he was hard. Nearly breathless, he rattled off, “Just a 411, Scott never had to do a hard sell on how hot you are.” He laughed. “We both agree, you’re sex on a stick. Not that it mattered; Scott still enjoyed driving the point home while he…” The image sprung forth stealing his breath. With Derek this close, staring at him, Stiles’ dick did a thirty to sixty. His dick was throbbing hard, straining in his pants as he remembered the last time Scott talked about how hot Derek was. In fact, the alpha had been comparing their asses, on whose muscles clenched tighter on his knot – all the while Scott slowly breeched his hole, inch by inch.

Derek closed the small gap between them, forcibly guiding Stiles backward until his back hit the wall - hard. Next thing Stiles knew, he found himself with Derek’s body fully pressed against his. Then he gasped feeling the hard length of Derek’s dick rub against his own.

Stiles shivered in anticipation as Derek’s voice dropped an octave, and prompted, “He what?”

The want and desire Stiles felt ramped up even higher as Derek asked again; “Tell me Stiles,” then Derek punctuated the point by rolling his hips. The erotic sensation made Stiles entire body pulse in a need that had him seeing stars.

Derek’s hot breath brushed up and down over Stiles’ face and neck. From experience Stiles knew the wolf was scenting him. The action hijacked his pounding heart. On autopilot, his hands anchored on Derek’s hips, effectively holding him in place while he angled his dick to rub against Derek, letting the beta know for certain that he wanted the wolf.

“Stiles.” The way Derek said his name vibrated against his skin. It sounded more like a moan than a question. Still Stiles mumbled, “What?”

Suddenly there was space between them. Briefly Derek’s hand stroked up and down the back of his neck, before he forcibly pulled away out of Stiles’ grasp.

Stiles bemoaned the loss of contact and tried to step back into Derek’s space.

Derek’s simple, “No.” got his attention.

He had been about to protest when Derek’s finger swept across his lips silencing him. “We cross this line, there’s no going back.”

The corner of his mouth lifted and he nodded confidently, ready to resume things.

“Not yet. This has to be more than just for Scott. I don’t want to… I don’t…” Derek faltered and took another step back, and then another; creating even more space between them as he turned his back on Stiles.

This time Stiles was the one left wondering WTF? He needed to process and decipher what the hell Derek was talking about – worse he had to do so through a ramped up fog of sexual lust, basically force his little brain to stop from taking over.

Both hands wound through his hair rubbing frantically until his fingers finally laced together to add a forceful pressure in an effort to make himself think straight.

“Wait minute! I don’t want any of this to stop unless you actually don’t want me.” Stiles’ eyes went directly to Derek’s crotch. Derek’s dick was easily visible, the hard outline he wanted to see in the flesh.

“Stiles, sex is easy, but what I have with Scott now, is more than that. Before, all my choices were....”

At Derek’s silence he almost blurted out, ‘Foolish, stupid, bad-shit crazy’ because in his opinion they all were.

Stiles watched amazed as Derek emoted. “I don’t want to fuck things up with Scott.”
“So you just don’t want me then?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Well I think you need to clarify then. I don’t want to fuck anything up with Scott either. He loves you, he loves me – he would love us to be together. Although, right now it’s to save Scott, I always thought there was going to eventually be an us.”

“You really want that, an us?”

“Yeah, a you and me, me and Scott, you and Scott and then hopefully it’ll be a: you/me and Scott together, the three of us.”

“Together? You really want it to be, the three of us?”

“Yeah, the whole thing, and when it’s time, to share one big ass bed. I mean, I know right now this is to distract Scott, but I also think it’d be good to start with just us, before jumping into the deep end with all three of us together. And I know Scott’s not going to be upset – at least not for us being together, it’s what he wants, and I do too.”

Under Derek’s long focused stare, Stiles was afraid to move. It was as if Derek had super powers and using his will alone, was able to pry open Stiles’ mind and heart, to read his very soul.

Abruptly, Derek’s nostrils flared. It was the only telltale sign Derek gave him before he pounced. Lifting Stiles off the ground, lips locked on his as he walked Stiles backward until Stiles’ back hit the wall again, this time with a resounding thud. Using just the strength of his torso, Derek kept Stiles anchored there, hanging mid-air, while his hands randomly roamed Stiles’ body.

The kiss was nothing more than a massive invasion. Tongue against tongue, a duel that was started and lost, barely after it had begun. Derek’s tongue prodded to the point of possessive dominance. It ignited all of Stiles’ buttons to an all-consuming heat, a primal need.

Although Stiles happily submitted to the wolf’s dominance, he wasn’t passive. Instead with each kiss and touch, he reciprocated just as passionately.

Stiles didn’t need an invite, as his hands busily undid Derek’s pants. There was no finesse as Stiles pushed Derek’s jeans and boxers down pass his ass so they’d puddle at his feet.
Impatient to feel Derek, his hands molded and explored the hard mass of Derek’s muscles. Under his fingers, he felt a shiver of excitement, like a wave run, through Derek’s body. Encouraged his hands roamed aimlessly.

With a mind of its own, one hand began a descent downward. Until he was able to wrap a fist around Derek’s dick to feel the hard length pulse within his tight grasp. He didn’t know what he wanted to do first: to taste, lick and swallow the dick in his hand, or to feel it inside him, fucking him hard.

His dick jumped at each option and instantly offered another thought: to drive his own dick inside of Derek, to find out for himself, what Scott always boosted about – how good it felt to fuck the wolf.

In a heady euphoric daze of want, Stiles realized it didn’t matter, that they had enough time to do everything at least once before his dad got home. Noticing the rapid speed Derek pulled off Stiles’ clothes, he thought possibly twice, if Derek’s haste to get things going was anything to go by.

At one point something ripped. Breathless, gasping for air, gratified the wolf wanted him just as badly, Stiles panted out, “You’re paying for that.”

A guttural grunt resounded as Derek’s teeth pulled on his lips, silencing him, while even as his hand gripped Stiles’ ass, fingers sliding down his crack toward his hole.

Stiles wiggled just enough to hike his legs up, then firmly anchored them around Derek’s waist. In the process he used the wall as leverage to protrude his ass outward to make it easier for Derek to finger his hole.

He didn’t stop kissing and tasting the man, but Stiles slowed just enough to demand a muffled, “Just fuck me already.”

In answer, Derek grinned, and pulled back, his eyes dancing in excitement, “Are you always this demanding?” he asked, even as his finger easily slid into Stiles’ slick hole.

He answered with a needy shout, “Yes!” He needed to feel Derek’s dick instead of his finger.

The shocked look on Derek’s face as he, discovered Stiles had previously prepped himself, almost had him bursting out in laughter. In a rush, words spilled out of his mouth, “Go ahead, you can sue me for the calculated risk of being prepared, but later! NOW, please, fuck me already!”

Stiles watched wide-eyed as Derek’s eyes suddenly flashed blue. Being this close, seeing the wildness of his beast untamed, only elevated Stiles hunger and need. He almost felt disappointment when instead, Derek slid in another finger. Yet Derek didn’t linger and after a couple of thrusts he quickly pulled out, leaving Stiles dazed. Seconds later, he felt the fat head of Derek’s cock against his hole.

Stiles felt it push in, but once it passed his ring, swallowing the head, Derek suddenly stopped there. He tried to push his body down, and engulf Derek’s dick. However, Derek easily held him in place, and started to leisurely lick his neck.

Stiles trembled, straining to impale himself on Derek’s dick.

Derek nibbled, pulling and gnawing on his skin in between licks.

Panting, Stiles started to short circuit, his body on fire, consumed by a tidal wave of need. He was unable to restrain the guttural sounds as an intermittence of needy whimpers and moans escaped his throat.

Derek’s only response was the steady pull of skin on his neck as Derek continued to suck like a Hoover. Then it hit him, Derek was creating a hickey, marking him, Stiles heart escalated. The erratic pace threatened to burst thru his skin as he thought about what he’d say to Scott. Then again he didn’t have to say anything; Scott would see and smell the truth on him. It wasn’t that he feared Scott would be upset or angry with him, because he wouldn’t. However, Scott was competitive – seeing the mark, smelling Derek on him, Scott was going to lose his mind and fuck him crazy… and Stiles definitely wanted to be on the receiving end of that crazy. Then when he left Scott, he’d go back to Derek and watch firsthand, as the wolf went possessive crazy and tried to one up his alpha. Stiles moaned at all of the images filtering in - he wanted it all, both of them and eventually to be sandwiched between them.

Overcome with excitement, Stiles didn’t know whether or not it was seconds or minutes that had passed, it didn’t matter, he was going crazy with want. He just couldn’t take it anymore and started to beg. “Come on Derek, please… please….”

All Stiles knew was he wanted everything Derek had to offer – wanted to feel the wolf’s thick dick inside him, to take and fuck his ass hard.

He wasn’t sure how long he begged, but suddenly Derek growled. The wolf bodily lifted Stiles up until his legs were draped over Derek’s arms, simultaneously spearing his body, filling him.
Derek paused for a brief second as he bottomed out, hitting that bundle of nerves before he started to piston in and out, igniting fireworks with every thrust.

Stiles tried to move, but Derek’s hold on him offered him no leverage. He could do nothing, but accept and receive the building pleasure Derek was creating. He babbled incoherently. His body shuddering as one spark after another was ignited. His nerve-ends were on fire, building to a roaring inferno.

Derek pushed his legs up, until his knees swung over Derek’s shoulders. It afforded Derek more control and a better angle as he filled Stiles’ ass.

It was all Stiles needed, as he reached the crescendo, and stepped off the edge into an abyss and came. His body trembled as long spurts of come were smeared between their stomachs.
In a euphoric daze, Stiles watched the wolf’s cute nostrils flare out as he caught a whiff of Stiles come. He had thought the intensity of Derek’s eyes flashing before were beautiful, but seeing them now…. Scott was right, the shade was indescribable.

Abruptly Derek roared out, his thrusts even more erratic, hitting hard and fast, pushing Stiles euphoria back into the sizzling fire and igniting another storm. Stiles voice rose out over the storm as guttural moans escaped and rambling words of fuck, yes spilled out of his mouth until the bottom fell out and all he felt was silence.

Stiles felt one last hard thrust before Derek stilled with only small pulsations.

Against his neck he heard Derek’s muffled cry as the wolf came, filling his hole.

Feeling happy and satisfied, Stiles could only smile. It didn’t even faze him when Derek suddenly moved. Without separating, Derek carried him to the bed carefully, as if he was more fragile than glass. Once Derek laid him down on the bed, he gently eased out of Stiles’ hole. Climbing up on the bed, Derek stretched his body out, lying down beside him on his side. Derek propped his head up so their eyes could lock. With his other hand, Derek started to lazily rub the come that was splattered there into his skin. Then he leaned over to gently lick Stiles lips open, and hovered there. Softly, in almost a whisper, Derek ordered, “Rest.”

There was no argument from him, only sated bliss as he breathed in Derek’s scent and his breath. They were nearly nose to nose, but Stiles couldn’t stop starting at the man. He marveled on how open, innocent, and surprisingly younger Derek suddenly looked. He didn’t need to confer with Scott with what his gut was already telling him, what he was seeing, this was a side of Derek very few had ever seen or experienced before.

Feeling nothing but warm fuzzies all the way from the pit of his stomach down to his toes, Stiles smiled.

By the spark he saw in Derek’s eyes, he could only guess that he was sporting one of his goofy, ‘I don’t give a shit’ smiles, but it was true; right now at this moment he didn’t give a shit about anything else but resting – for round two.

Fin~

FIC: Watching 1/1 fandom: Leverage (OT3 Parker/Alec/Eliot, PG-13)

2016-07-13T19:27:34Z

.
Title: Watching
Author: Denyce
Fandom: Leverage
Pairings: Parker/Alec/Eliot, OT3
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Alec and Eliot have a conversation about Parker
Warnings: voyeurism/exhibition, 3some, implied past abuse, un'beta'd
Word Count 1,221
AN: Original prompt from comment_fic Any, any/any/any, a love triangle is just a threesome that hasn't figured it out yet, by daria234 - sigh, IDK, its where my muse went ;)

1/1

“She’s doing it again.”

The words muffled against his neck, “Yeah, I know.”

Eliot sighed, “How long are we going to keep this up and not say anything?”

Alec pulled back and chuckled, then he challenged, “You want to confront her, go ahead; be my guest.”

Eliot stared at Alec. Irritated, he sat up and scooted back, ignoring the sheet as it fell, and leaned against the headboard. “So that’s how it’s going to be?”

Apparently unfazed, Alec leaned up and peppered a dozen kisses on Eliot’s stomach. Lingering, he rested his head there. A moment later he looked up and met Eliot’s gaze.

Although it was dark in the room, Eliot could see Alec’s expression as he deadpanned, “When it comes to Parker, and discussing anything about her peculiar habits? You know it.”

“Habits?” Eliot hissed with annoyance, and pointed out, “She’s stalking us, and turning into a creepy voyeur.”

“I wouldn’t say creepy.”

“Why, the hell not? It’s what she’s been doing for weeks now. It might have started a bit innocent, but now… seriously we’re never alone – she’s always there – close by, watching.”

“I know, but it’s not exactly creepy.”

“Ah well, it’s my definition of creepy?”

Alec snickered at him, “No, it’s not. And I wouldn’t say that she’s, you know, what you said.”

“The word you’re looking for is creepy. And I stand by it, but if for some reason I shouldn’t then enlighten me.”

“Fine! First off, it’s Parker.”

“My point exactly!”

“Uh uh, let me finish. And I’m going to forewarn you right now because I love you.” Alec leaned up only to give him a quick peck on the lips. “Second, I don’t think she’d like to be called creepy. More importantly, I wouldn’t bet that it’s not on her lists of talents that she’s able to read lips even in the dark. Third, let’s face it; you’re not exactly what I’d say, turned off by the fact that she’s watching us – not the first time, and certainly not now. Fact is, and if you want to lie to yourself, go ahead, but you get off knowing, she’s watching us.”

Eliot started to open his mouth to deny it, but saw the gleam in Alec’s eyes ready to pounce if he tried to deny it. The man knew him too well and knew it’d be useless to lie.

Grinning Alec declared, “See, I told ya.” In victory, Alec kissed him before resting his body against Eliot’s.

Alec picked up his hand, kissing the center of his palm. His voice lowered the lightness of his tone, gone. “No, your real problem is the same as mine.”

Gruffly he asked, “Yeah and what’s that?”

“You’re getting tired of waiting on her to join us.”

Eliot stilled hearing the sadness in Alec’s voice. It was a truth that resonated in his heart. Every day he was growing restless, he did, he wanted Parker to be there with them – not out there, watching from afar.

Choking out the words, “What if she…”

Alec turned, angling his body up alongside Eliot’s, a hand swept across his chest, creating gentle strokes. “For me, nothing’s changed since we first talked about it. I still love Parker; I love her as much as I love you. That’s never gonna change. For me, she’ll always have a place with us. Right here, with us, in the middle, whenever she’s ready. Until then we have to wait.”

His voice strain, Eliot choked out his growing fear, “What if she’s never ready?”

Alec pressed closer into his side then laid his head over Eliot’s heart. His voice low, but loud enough for Eliot to hear against the silence of their bedroom. “Then we’ll love her the way she needs to be loved. If watching us, is all she can handle then we let her watch. I want Parker to feel safe. To always be safe. To feel loved, our love – to know we’ll do whatever she needs and still love her for it, without question or doubt.”

When and how Alec ever got to be so zen, Eliot didn’t know, it was another dynamic that had changed over the years. He had been the muscle their retriever and in the end their protector. Alec was the tech brains and Parker their thief. Over the years they each learned to do a bit of everything, but Parker she had exceeded everyone’s expectations. In the end, she was the one Nate had handed the torch and became their strategist. He and Alec had hoped it’d be the turning point and that she’d join them.

Instead she started to watch them. The first time he caught her was innocent – he and Alec had fallen asleep on the couch. He woke up entangled in Alec’s arms, with Parker sitting there cross-legged on the coffee table, staring blatantly.

Afterward, he started to get hairs on the back of his neck only to find out she was watching them. It wasn’t long before he realized she was watching them while they had sex. Alec was right, that first time he realized it, after getting angry, he was turned on and started fucking Alec harder. It became a voyeuristic game, she watched, they performed (he performed) and enjoyed every second of it. He quickly discovered it was more intense and he came harder whenever she watched.

Yet during their regular time, missions, Parker was her usual – Parker. She’d laugh and joke, hug and kiss them affectingly, but there was a distance, a line she wouldn’t cross. They never really talked about it, but it became obvious she knew that they knew she watched them – still one said anything.

Eliot knew Alec was right his frustration was that he wanted more; he wanted Parker to join them. He wanted to watch her with Alec, and then to see Alec’s expression while he watched Eliot fuck Parker, or to have her fuck him. The possibilities of what they could do were endless – if only she’d join them.

Knowing she was out there alone, watching them, made his heartache. He was starting to hate it and hated the building anger whenever he thought about why she didn’t feel safe. It always made he want to beat up and kill those that had hurt her, twisted things up, and made her feel so unsafe. Anger that she may never…

“Shush, it may or may not happen the way we want it to, but you can never doubt that she love us.” Twisting slightly against him, Alec kisses him almost reverently. Slowly he pulled back, and stared imploringly, “Focus on the fact that she keeps coming back, and is getting closer to us each time. One day we just might see her right there at the window.”

Eliot searched Alec’s eyes then heaved a sigh; thankful Alec had enough faith for both of them. Abruptly, he pulled away and got up.”

“Eliot?”

Ignoring the uncertainty in Alec’s voice, he made his way over to the window and opened it. On the way back, he turned on the light, lowering to a dim. Climbing back into bed, he snuggled against Alec, kissing the smile off of his face.

He knew Parker would get the message, and when she was ready they’d be here with open arms.

Fin~

FIC: Rebirth 1/1 fandom: Teen Wolf (Allison/Lydia, PG)

2016-07-09T20:08:41Z

.
Title: Rebirth
Author: Denyce
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Allison/Lydia, mentioned: Allison/Scott, Allison/Isaac slight pre-slash: Scott/Isaac
Rating: PG
Summary: A fix it to S3E23, starts immediately at Allison's death.
Warnings: Character death, un'beta'd
Word count 1,496
AN: A comment fic prompt I finally finished. Sadly I didn't jot down the date or the prompter who inspired me, sorry! The prompt was: any. any. Someone who died in canon, doesn't.

1/1

He was seconds too late even after he used inhuman speed to rush to Allison’s side as she started to fall, catching her in midair. Scott held her frail body barely aware the Oni around them retreated and disappeared.

Instead Scott focused on Allison. His heart breaking even as he tried and failed to ignore every instinct his beast was steadily supplying him, the raw truth, his first love Allison, was dying.

Struggling to talk, Allison stared up at him, wheezing with every breath, “Is he, is he okay, Isaac?”

Silently Scott could only nod, tears blurring his vision while his fingers clasped around her wrist trying in vain to take away her pain. He could feel it, the pain fading, slipping out of his grasp as she sank further away into the darkness.

Suddenly he felt helpless, fear gripping his heart, as he choked out, “Allison, I can’t…”

For a brief moment her eyes were bright as she smiled up at him, “It’s okay, I don’t feel anything.”

Frantically he searched her face, his heart tightening at her words, the dread of it, of what it means. He shook his head to deny what she’s telling him. In a small whisper, she repeats, “It’s okay; tell my dad I…”

Abruptly her voice trailed off as her body collapsed into a slump – instinctively he knows, Allison just died; expelling her last breath.

Disruptively, nanoseconds later, a scream rang out; it was quickly followed by Allison’s name.

The wail continued piercing sharp through the air. Scott didn’t have to guess who was screaming, it was Lydia. He has no idea where she was, but the sound of her scream echoed and vibrated throughout his body.

Protectively, he grips her body tighter; bringing Allison closer to his chest afraid she’d shatter like glass under Lydia’s loud screech.

The next second, the pitch escalates to a higher octave frequency causing him to loosen his grip on Allison and wince in pain at its sharpness. Under its assaulting vibration he starts to feel a scolding heat coming from Allison even as her body starts to quake erratically within his arms.

Unable to stop himself, he abruptly drops her thrashing body like a proverbial hot potato.

Under the crescendo of sounds, terrified by what he’s witnessing Scott calls out to Allison even as he hears Isaac’s worried plea, “Scott?”

He can’t tell the beta anything and has no idea what’s happening.

Suddenly Allison opened her eyes, even as her body arched up to some unforeseeable force. Her eyes were unseeing, staring up at nothing.

On reflex, Scott leaned back away from Allison’s convulsing body, frightened. She was dead; he knows it, had felt and heard her last breath. Yet seeing her now, animated, somehow she’s not dead. His mind trips over and whispers one word that’d describe what he was witnessing, what he had only seen in the movies –someone undead, a zombie.

His heart shatters under the word because it can’t be true. Yet even as he’s having the internal argument with himself, he already knows and has experienced things that couldn’t and shouldn’t be true. He’s one of them, a walking breathing fable of the supernatural, a alpha werewolf. Still how could Allison be a zombie? They hadn’t seen or been fighting zombies. He was only a werewolf because another werewolf bit him.

The pitch increased, although logically he knew it was useless to block it out, Scott covered his ears, and scooted further away from Allison, where the pitch seemed to be directed.

The more distance he created between himself and Allison, the pain within his eardrums decreased. The sound was indecipherable, but once his ears stopped throbbing in intense pain Scott noticed a pattern within the sharp wail and although it was ridiculously stretched out, he realized it was Allison’s name.

As quickly as the wail occurred, it suddenly stopped and he watched Allison collapse to the ground, her eyes once again closed.

Instantly Isaac was beside him, leaning into Scott’s side, he whispered under his breath. “Are you okay? What happened? Is she…”

Scott couldn’t answer if he wanted to. None of what he just saw made sense not when every instinct he had told him, she had died in his arms.

Collecting himself, Scott scanned Allison’s body. His nostrils flared as he took a long whiff of Allison’s scent. Somehow the innate scent he knew so well, markers he had always identified as Allison were gone.

Beside him he felt the beta’s body tense, knowing Isaac had also picked up on the strange scent. Something had altered Allison’s innate scent. Yet there was a familiarity to Allison’s new scent.

Fear and relief collided as Scott focused and smelled her blood. It was no longer fresh. The fabric of her top was torn where the sword had stabbed through her. Scott could see the stains of blood over the skin, but no open wound. Somehow the skin had knitted together even quicker than his alpha powers were capable of.

However it was the fluttering beat of her heart that truly stole his breath away. Scott wanted Allison alive, but his fear heightened as he wondered if this was still the Allison he knew and loved.

Almost without thinking Scott reached out about to check her pulse when a sharp cry rang out combined with a forceful essence of something lifted and physically pushed his body back to collide into Isaac.

Dazed Scott looked up, ready to spring into action and attack whatever it was. Eyes rapidly scanned the area expecting to see a new enemy, yet the only new arrivals he encountered were Lydia and Stiles.

Abruptly Lydia demanded, “Don’t touch her.”

She stood a few feet away with Stiles leaning heavily against her side. Without taking her eyes off of Allison’s still form, Lydia let go of Stiles and made her way over to Allison.

Abruptly Lydia dropped to the ground and gathered Allison into her arms. Gently almost dotingly Lydia brushed away several stray hairs out of Allison’s face. Then suddenly she leaned down and kissed the Allison on the lips.

That alone was a shock. However his shock was elevated to another level when he realized the kiss wasn’t just a peck on the lips, but rather a full on ravishing kiss, was shock enough. Yet it was to see Allison respond that truly floored him. Allison was suddenly animated and passionately returned the kiss.

Through his shock, Scott finally registered Allison’s heart beating. He heard that unmistakable low moan from the bottom of her throat, struggling to get out. Not only was Allison alive, she was excited, and it was Lydia that was causing her excitement. His mind laying out the facts, it was Lydia’s kiss, Lydia’s screech, and he realizes it was Lydia’s scent that marked Allison.

It was Lydia’s siren call as a banshee that had pulled Allison back from death.

Scott felt Isaac press into his side. He felt the beta’s worry, his unvoiced questions and knew instinctively Isaac had smelled the same markers and came to the same conclusions he had. Lydia had not only saved Allison – and in doing so, whether Lydia realized it or not, she had marked and claimed Allison as her mate.

Watching them together was a bit weird, exciting and somewhat distracting. Yet Scott couldn’t stop grinning as he watched.

Isaac bumped his shoulder. For a fraction of a second he worried the beta would be jealous or cause a problem. Scott knew Isaac and Allison had been dancing around each other, he had smelled their attraction before they even started to flirt with each other. Although he believed their involvement was more than just a flirtation, and more than just sex – it didn’t have the depth or newness of first love, he and Allison had shared.

Still they were intimate; it was real, the intimacy they shared wasn’t frivolously for either of them.

Watching Lydia, the way she held Allison, the possessiveness. Until Lydia he had never met or heard about banshees’ and certainly couldn’t begin to guess anything about a banshee’s mates. What he did know, was what Derek had warned him about, werewolf mates. Scott knew once mated they could be very possessive – then cringed as he remembered the intensity of Lydia’s power, how she threw him back, away from Allison, her mate.

Beside him Isaac whispered for his ears only, “It’s good.” And he heard the truth in the wolf’s voice. The beta was on the same page as he was – they might have lost Allison to Lydia, but that was something that they both could deal with, especially compared to the alternative. Whatever came next could never diminish the relief and happiness they felt that Allison was alive.

And the way Allison’s heart raced, her scent and the way she eagerly and openly embraced Lydia, Allison was just as happy to be alive and in her mate's arms.

FIC: Beware of Gifts 1/1 fandom: SGA (Lorne/Sheppard, PG-13)

2016-07-09T16:52:51Z

.
Title: Beware of Gifts
Author: Denyce
Fandom: SGA
Pairings: Lorne/Sheppard, background: Ronon/McKay
Rating: PG-13
Summary: John and Evan have to deal with some unexpected new.
Warnings: MPreg, un'beta'd
Word Count 1,194
AN: Original prompt from comment_fic Stargate Multiverse, Any, A gift for the fertility gods. And in my caffeine deprived mind I rearranged the prompt to "A gift from the fertility gods. Oh well, for good or bad my muse was inspired.

1/1

“I told you it was a gift.”

Lorne barked accusingly, “A gift, you just had to accept, bring home and put in the bedroom?”

John gasped, “I didn’t… I told you, they gave the damn thing to each one of us one. How the hell was I supposed to know it’d actually work?”

When Evan continued to stare blankly, as John tried to defend himself. “I took it as a joke and you know it. He looked funny, in a good way. Similar to the works of that artist you showed me before.” When Evan didn’t respond, John smiled trying in vain to lighten his mood. “Come on, you have to admit, getting a gift of a statue of a little guy with gigantic cock sticking out of his pants, leaking come, grinning ear to ear, is funny, right? Besides, if not in the bedroom where was I supposed to put it?”

Evan didn’t give him an inch.

Exasperated, John blurted out, “Fine, it’s all my fault!” Pacing, John ran his hand through his hair. When he stopped, he stared imploring at Evan, “We’re men; it wasn’t supposed to work on us!”

Evan blinked, and then glared heatedly at John until the man flinched. For a fraction of a second Evan felt bad, but then he only had to remember he was pregnant. The thought had his mind reeling – it couldn’t, shouldn’t be possible. Maybe he should have been concerned that they had just come out. Not only to Carson, but nearly every person on Atlantis when he got sick in the mess hall. Although it was only implied by John’s reactions, yet his loving and tender concern was overkill even for someone who was deaf and blind. Or maybe he should be worried about any fallback over the stupid DADT. However discovering his sickness was due to the fact he was pregnant just trumped everything else that he honestly didn’t give a fuck.

Carson injected, “Aye, it’s not something we’d normally see. But otherwise, you seem to be just as healthy as Ronon and Teyla. I received messages from the Carilmen people, along with relevant medical files on how to proceed. Although in their society it’s rare for same couples to conceive it’s not unheard of. Something they believe is double the blessings from their Gods, whenever it happens. Elizabeth indicated this development has greatly benefited our original trade deal.”

Rolling his eyes, dripping with sarcasm, Evan stated, “Great!” Hands clenched at his sides, Evan looked down at his stomach and the barely visible bump that lay under the exam gown. Even to his own hears he heard the pained disbelief within his voice. “What am I supposed to do now? How can I… I mean really Doc, this can’t be happening.”

“Lad, you’ll be fine.”

“Fine? I’m a man, not a woman, they’re able to… where would a baby come…” Evan couldn’t even finish the thought, as nerves and dizziness swept through his body causing him to sway. Immediately John was at his side, resting a arm over his shoulders to help steady his body.

“Major, right now I don’t want you to concern yourself with any of that. We have plenty of time to discuss the details later on. Right now, you both need to accept the fact that you’re pregnant. I want you and John to go back to your quarters, and for you to do nothing but rest for the next two days. Then I see you back here, understood?”

“But Doc…”

“No Major, that’s an order. Have I made myself clear?”

Defeated Evan nodded and shrugged John off as he jumped down from the exam table, ready to get dressed.

Evan knew John wanted to help him, but right now he was still too angry and turned away. Behind him he heard John clear his throat. “Doc, is there anything I should do?”

Evan didn’t see Carson’s expression, but heard the exasperation in his voice, “Aye man, of course! He’s pregnant with your child, be there for him, listen, open your heart, be understanding, be attentive. And as for you major,”

Surprised, Evan turned to Carson. “I know you’re hurt and confused, but you have a wee child growing in your belly. You’re in the middle of your second trimester. You’re going to be fathers. Let’s keep that in mind and remember you’re not the only male on Atlantis who is pregnant, Ronon is as well.”

At the mention of Ronon, Evan sighed, both thankful and fearful that he wasn’t the only one pregnant. John remembering his team, jutted out his chin, and asked, “How are they?”

“They’re both fine. Teyla’s quite happy and comfortable since this will be her second child. Surprising or not, Ronon’s quite excited at the prospect of carrying Rodney’s child. McKay on the other hand, is his usual and is already driving me mad.”

Carson grabbed a couple of bottles off of the counter. “Here I want you to start taking these. This one will help with the nausea. These are your prenatal vitamins, take ‘em as directed. Then when you’re feeling up to it, maybe go talk to Ronon. These days, I believe you’ll find him in the mess hall. Let’s just say the man’s ravenous appetite as increased tenfold. If there are any changes or immediate concerns, don’t hesitate to call me. Now off with you both.”

Effectively dismissing them, Evan and John walked out of Carson’s office in a daze. Neither said a word as they walked side by side, down the corridor back to their quarters. Half way there, Evan stopped and looked at John.

When he didn’t say anything, John prompted, heavy concern etched in his face, “Ev?”

He opened his mouth, but the words stuck in his throat. Eyes watering, he tried again and finally choked out, “We’re going to be dads.”

John nodded and smiled, his hands reached over to caress down Evan’s shoulders then settled on his waist. His fingers fanned out brushing gently over the tiny bump. Beaming with love and happiness, John said, “Yeah, yeah we are.”

The love Evan saw in John’s face wasn’t new, but it certainly wasn’t something he had seen in public. It was reserved for the privacy of their quarters. John easily closed the gap between them until his lips were but a hairsbreadth away from Evan’s lips.

Then John did the unthinkable and kissed him right there in the hallway with zero concern that anyone might walk by.

At first he felt hesitant, but then Evan eagerly accepted and returned John’s kiss. It was in that moment Evan knew, not only did he have John’s heart, but that John was going to there for him and their child, 1000%. He wouldn’t face any aspect of this pregnancy alone. Feeling that certainty, Evan completely yielded in John’s arms and for the first time since he found out he was pregnant he felt a small measure of hope – that as weird as it was, being pregnant and carrying John’s child, somehow, like Atlantis itself they’d not only survive but thrive, as the small miracle inside him continued to grow.

Fin~

FIC: Officer and a Gentlemen 1/1 fandom: SGA (Lorne/Ronon, PG-13)

2016-07-03T18:01:21Z

Title: Officer and a Gentlemen
Author: Denyce
Fandom: SGA
Pairing: Lorne/Ronon, background: McShep
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU, comment ficlet – prompt: Evan Lorne +/ any, An Officer and a Gentleman from comment_fic
Word count: 1058

Abruptly the music stopped as his front door chimed; simultaneously his AI George entered the bedroom to announce that Ronon was at the door.

Still in the bathroom, Evan panicked and swore then absently told George to go downstairs and let Ronon in then to go get him a drink that he’d be down in a minute.

Evan listened as George followed his orders and the music overhead restarted. Gripping the sides of the porcelain sink, Evan stared at his reflection – and blatantly questioned himself out loud, ”Why the hell are you so damn nervous?”

Internally he answered, ‘Okay, yes, this was a date, but it’s not exactly our first date. For Christ’s sake we’ve been together for nearly a year. Okay, maybe not so openly. Yet that wouldn’t be our first either. We’ve been going out publically for over a month now.’

Evan narrowed his eyes, and questioned, ‘So, what the hell – you’re acting like you’re going to be facing a firing squad?’

No answer came forth, only Ronon’s voice bellowed out, “We’re going to be late.”

Sighing, Evan left the bathroom and grabbed his uniform dress jacket, doing is best to ignore the flutter of nerves in his stomach. Descending the stairs, hands busily adjusting his jacket that he didn’t see Ronon, only heard his sharp whistle of approval.

Ronon stood in his way at the bottom of the stairs. At the step where Evan stopped, it left him standing at the right height to be eye level with Ronon, where he felt the embers of heat from his lover’s stare. Under Ronon’s appraisal, Evan felt the nerves in his stomach calm a fraction only to ignite a new flutter of want.

Staring into the depths of Ronon’s gaze, it was a look Evan knew, it was one that made him want to cancel and stay home. To do nothing more than strip down and leisurely soak in Ronon’s gaze.

However to cancel now, they couldn’t, not when Ronon was the best man. Besides he wanted to be there to watch his friends get married. Momentarily he closed his eyes and tried to refocus. Evan heard him before he felt Ronon move, as Ronon’s lips brushed over his then he hover there. Each swallowed the other’s breath, to taste a hint of mint – Ronon’s toothpaste to his own spearmint flavor. Every inch of his body hummed and flowed in a rhythmical synch that was clearly matched to Ronon’s life-force.

Suddenly he felt like he was smack in the head. The remaining nerves he felt upstairs dissipated with a raw revelation, that he didn’t just want his man, and desired his flesh – not that there wasn’t any doubt that he did, but Ronon was also the same man who was his friend, his best friend and lover. The truth was he was in love with Ronon, he truly loved everything about the man – body and soul.

That was what was new, what he hadn’t realized or acknowledge – to himself or to Ronon. When exactly had he turned the corner, or fallen into the abyss, he couldn’t say. However the depth of his feelings were there, had been there for a long time. Whether he had been afraid, or didn’t realize the profundity of his own feelings or to even acknowledge the full extent – not that any of it mattered now – because he suddenly did know.

They were going to a wedding, to celebrate their friends love and commitment to each other. And all Evan wanted to do was to declare his love and make his own vows to the man who already owned his heart.

Abruptly George cleared his throat interrupting them. “Shall I call and cancel?”

The word, ‘yes’ was on the tip of his tongue, but Ronon’s finger silenced him, and told George, “No.”

He almost felt disappointed at Ronon’s answer, but the look in Ronon’s eyes danced in merriment like he had gotten the greatest gift in the world. It was then although he hadn’t said it out loud; Ronon knew and could read the blatant love in his eyes. His thumb swept over Evan’s lips. “We’ll go, but right after the ‘I do’s’ we’ll leave and it’ll be just us…” Ronon’s voice deepened, as he questioned, “then if you’d like we can start planning our own wedding…”

In answer Evan nodded with an affirmative ‘Yes!’ on his lips before it was swallowed hungrily by Ronon.

Seconds to minutes passed, before George spoke again. “Shall I have the bed waiting for you?”

Reluctantly, Ronon pulled back giving them the needed space to think rationally. Though his voice was rough, Evan heard and saw the joyous laughter behind every word. “Let’s go get this thing over with.”

Panting, Evan nodded licking his lips. Almost dizzily he ordered, George to have his room ready for when they returned.

Turning around he faced Ronon who held the door open expectantly. It was only then Evan took in the suit Ronon was wearing. His fierce warrior was dressed as gentlemen in black dress pants, crisp white shirt, and a black jacket. Although the dreadlocks were gone, in their place were long dark curls just above his shoulders. Evan’s heart burst with love at the sight of the man before him. Together they were the quintessential, officer and gentlemen. The thought had him grinning ear to ear.

Grabbing his hat, Evan moved over to Ronon and wrapped his arm around Ronon’s waist. “George”

The AI turned toward him.

“A couple of pictures please?”

The AI nodded, eyes suddenly shuttering like a camera, eyes capturing a few shots of the two of them dressed in their finery. Evan looked up and addressed Ronon, his eyes open revealing his thoughts – this time he followed it with words, allowing the full enormity of his feelings to shine bright, and simply said, “I love you.”

Ronon’s arm clasped hard around him, eyes bearing down into Evan’s, his words a solemn vow, “You - are now and always will be my moon, sun and stars, my world, as no other has or will ever be.”

Before he could do anything else Ronon broke the spell and whisked him out the door. “Come on, John and McKay’s wedding first – then ours.”

Giddy in a euphoric haze of love and lust, Evan could only nod happily.

Fin~

FIC: Pet Academy: Everyone Wants a werewolf Pet 1/1 fandom: Teen Wolf (Stiles/Scott(pet), PG-13)

2016-07-03T17:50:43Z

.
Title: Pet Academy: Everyone Wants a werewolf Pet
Author: Denyce
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Characters/Pairings: Stiles/Scott(pet-slave), mentioned: Stiles/Jackson(pet-slave), Allison/Isaac(pet-slave), Lydia/Jackson(pet-slave), Danny/Ethan(pet-slave), Parrish/Sheriff Stilinski/ Derek(pet-slave), Chris/Peter(pet-slave)
Rating: PG-13/R more for concept over hard kink.
Kinks: AU with werewolves kept as pet/slaves, dehumanization, collared pets kept on a leash.
Word count: 3764
Summary: An AU where werewolves are known and kept as pet/slaves. Stiles was happy; he and his pet Scott had survived and hadn't run into anyone he knew the first day at Pet Academy and thankfully everything had gone smoothly - until the end of the day when Stiles ran into the one person he had been trying to avoid, Lydia Martin.
AN: Sorry for the delay in posting here. This was origanally written for the Xmas excange over at slaveexchange back in Dec, the prompt: Everyone wants a werewolf Pet. No promises, but I do hope at some point my muse will return long enough to write a spanking scene between Stiles/Scott ;)

Pet Academy: Everyone wants a werewolf Pet, On AO3

1/1

It was at the end of the day, on their first day at PA, Pet Academy. Stiles peaked around the corner to see if the coast was clear then bodily whipped back around. Anxiety spiked by who he saw, his back hugging the wall under his breath, he cursed, “Shit!”

Panicked, Stiles started to back-peddle down the hall only to come to a full halt when he heard Scott whelp in pain. Turning around, Stiles saw the reason, the normally long leash was cut short because he had unintentionally wrapped it around in his fist then yanked it hard, in his haste, causing the leash to cinch and tighten the collar fastened around Scott’s neck.

Seeing his pet’s eyes water, Stiles immediately dropped the leash. Apologizing profusely, Stiles wiggled his fingers under his pup’s collar tenderly caressing his skin to quiet his whimpering. Then abruptly he froze when he heard and recognized Lydia Martin’s high pitch voice, boom accusingly. “What’s going on here? Are you abusing this pup?”

Stiles licked his lips and slowly turned toward his onetime crush. It was a crush that had only taken him years to get over, but eventually he had put it in perspective after his dad had started to date her mom, Natalie over a year ago. A few months later they were all unofficially living together as a family, and every day Lydia was becoming more like a sister, but not – until they weren’t.

He hadn’t seen Lydia all summer. Not since their parents broke up – their break-up was something Lydia blamed him for and said as much the last time he had seen her.
Since the semester started at PA, Pet Academy, he had tried to avoid seeing Lydia or any of her posse. Wishing but not counting on, that over the summer Lydia’s demeanor toward him had lessened.

“Ah, hi Lydia, nice to see you.”

“Don’t give me that. What are you doing here? Whose pup are you torturing?”

Stile gritted his teeth.

“STINKlinski, answer me or so help me I’ll report you to his owner.”

Stiles cringed when he heard the dreaded old nickname she had given him back in third grade. He glanced up through his lashes only to see Lydia’s patience was wearing thin. Remembering her demand he suddenly burst out laughing.

Lydia didn’t like anyone laughing at her and apparently neither did her pup-slave Jackson who suddenly stood protectively in front of her, growling.

Just as abruptly Scott was there and though his voice was strained his pup growled back. Needing to stop things from escalating, Stiles reestablished a firm grip on Scott’s leash and held him back. His fingers swept up caressing Scott’s flesh, “Hey no, sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you - it was just funny cause Scott’s my pup – so you reporting on me to me, his owner – get it, it’s kind of funny.”

At his confession Lydia just stared at him as if he had grown two heads.

The silence was broken when Lydia’s besties, Allison and Danny, idled up next to her with their pups in tow. Picking up on the tension, Allison looked between Lydia and Stiles. “What’s going on?”

Lydia shrugged, her eyes widening and deadpanned, “Stinklinski here says the pup is his, and I happen to know for a fact papa STINKlinski, had no intention of ever getting a pup for his irresponsible son.”

Pissed, Stiles returned her glare. It was one thing to downbeat him and call him names, but as far as he was concerned his dad was off limits and he let the sharp edge of his voice convey his feelings. “That’s Stilinski, and it’s always been Stilinski!”

At his rough tone, Lydia jerked in surprise, but held her stance glaring him down.

It was Allison that broke the tension. Instead her attention was riveted to the pup in question; her smile widened showcasing her dimples, “He’s adorable. May I?”

Stiles nodded his consent, his lips curved upward into a proud grin as Scott, his pup, who had Allison and Danny’s full attention easily lapped at Allison’s fingers, encouraging her to pet him.

Danny’s fingers joined Allison’s, both offering soothing caresses until their fingers were combing through Scott’s soft curls. Almost in awe, Allison wistfully stated, “OMG, his hair is so soft. I could pet him all day.”

Lydia uttered a pronounced humph, like she was bored, and although she tried to hide it Stiles knew she was eyeing Scott’s hair. “Go on, pet him.”

It was only there for an instance, but Stiles saw the flicker of hurt behind the anger, before Lydia’s lids lowered to half mass intensifying her glower. It was a look he was sure she had perfected and had come to naturally long before they had ever met.

Suddenly Stiles felt contrite over his poor choice of words. He had wanted to sound casual, but the moment it came out of his mouth, even to own ears he heard the challenged dare. Obviously a part of him was still stinging over Lydia’s rejection of friendship since their parents break up.

Abruptly emotions pushed forward followed by the words he had wanted to say for a long time. “Listen Lydia, I wanted them to work out too. I liked that we were becoming a…” The word, family stuck in his throat, but the intensity of his gaze conveyed his sincerity. “I don’t know what happened and I’m really sorry we, you, got hurt in the process.”

Whether it was time or what she saw in his eyes, Stiles saw a shift and her anger slowly started to dissipate. “Hmmm, so go ahead then tell me how you got a pup?”

Grinning, he readily replied, “You’re right dad never would have let me have the responsibility to care for a pup. But…” he glanced longingly over to Lydia’s pup, Jackson and smiled fondly remembering the days he got to play with Jax, “after being around Jax so much then not having him around anymore…” He shrugged, “It got to me. Over the summer I got a job working for Deaton, the Veterinarian over on Grant Street. I started saving and between what I earned there, pet sitting, and then selling my car, it was enough to prove I was serious. In the end, as a belated graduation gift, Dad matched my saved earnings, making it possible for me to purchase Scott.”

The harsh grimness etched around Lydia’s face eased into the more relax stance as she gazed at her friends animatedly fondling Scott. Stiles knew the instant Lydia’s lower lip dropped into a ‘oh’ sigh moment that she was on the road to forgiving him, his dad, and the entire fiasco of their parents dating.

Facing Scott, the corners of Lydia’s lips twitched in obvious enjoyment at the rising excitement her friends caused in his pup then she asked, “So, your dad how is he?”

Nervously Stiles raked teeth over his bottom lip, looking over Lydia’s shoulder trying to figure out what to say. The fact was this was the first time they’d talked, been able to be in the same space without any fireworks. The last thing he wanted to do was lie to her – But to tell her his dad was already seriously involved with someone else, that wasn’t news he wanted to give her.
Lydia guessed or already knew, “He started dating someone else, didn’t he?”

She had barely finished when he blurted out how sorry he was.

Lydia’s lips pursed together for a second then she sighed and shrugged before asking, “It’s still going go on then?”

Nervously his hand threaded through his hair, “Yeah. He seems happy.”
“Anyone I know?”

Stiles couldn’t remember if they met or not, but quietly answered, “His deputy, Jordan Parrish.” Shrugging, he said. “They got closer after I started to pet sit for Parrish. He’s got this rescue, a beautiful stud, Derek.”

Lydia didn’t say anything, but Allison asked, “Derek? I know that name; he isn’t by chance from the Hale line?”

Surprised, Stiles questioned, “Yeah, how did you know?”

Clearly embarrassed as her voice faltered, Allison stated. “My aunt Kate, she owned a litter of Hales. She was...” and trailed off before adding, “I’m really sorry, how is he?”

Stiles just stared at her, silently adding up everything he knew about Derek. The scars he’d seen from all of the abuse the stud had suffered, and then to now know and put a face to – or a name to his mysterious abuser.

Allison flushed, “You know what she did?”

Stiles nodded.

The silence stretched then Allison took a deep breath, her voice shaky as she explained almost pleading for him to understand. “We didn’t know. By the time we found out and dad stepped in, it was too late. Several pups in the line had died under her care. We were only thankfully a few had survived: Peter, Laura, Derek and Cora although not without severe trauma.” Allison nervously licked her lips, as she cast a glance at him before continuing on. “At the time because of Kate, and the charges pending we weren’t allow to keep them. Why they ended in Deaton’s care. All except Peter. He was the most damaged within the litter. He wasn’t expected to survive the week. With Deaton’s help speaking on dad’s behalf, they allowed dad to keep the stud and cared for him personally. That first week, dad never left Peter’s side. The poor pup was so broken dad had to bottle feed him. He surprised everyone and survived the week. Dad continued to care for him under Deaton’s regime, in time with dad’s constant love and care, Peter came around and started to get healthier. Now he’s thriving. Dad said Peter or Petey as he calls him now is the best pup he’s ever had.”

“Watching him care for Petey… It took me a while, but I wore him down and eventually convinced dad to let me have a pup. However I didn’t want just any pup but rather a rescue pup. I wanted to do what he did, to take the time to train and care for a rescue pup. By the time I talked dad into letting me register to own my own pup, I had a plan in place to get one if not all of the Hale pups back, to give them the right kind love and attention that they deserved. Especially after everything Kate had done, it only seemed right that we were supposed to somehow fix it. However by the time I received my certification to purchase a pup and we went to Deaton’s to purchase the Hale pups it was too late, Deaton had already sold all three of them.”

“I was heartbroken, even after he promised they had all gone to good loving homes. Then Deaton brought out this sweet young pup. It was how I ended up with Isaac here.”

Stiles watched Allison’s eyes light up as her fingers ran lovingly through the pup’s mangled long curly locks. It was obvious she adored the pup. However he was more concerned for the pup knowing now who Allison was related to. Stiles didn’t just watch he scrutinized the pup’s response. How Isaac’s entire body willingly leaned into Allison’s touch. It was uninhibited, the same trusting reaction he had witnessed in Derek with Jordan, Jackson with Lydia, and it was the same response he had seen in Scott toward him. There were no revealing signs of hesitation, nervousness or fear coming from Isaac only the natural instinct of a loving pup toward his owner.

Clearing her throat, Allison asked, “So Derek, his new owner, he’s loved?”

Nodding, Stiles quickly supplied. “Oh yeah Jordan’s great. He gives Derek a lot of attention. Right now Derek’s in training to properly serve them at work. You know, at either the station and out on patrol.”

Lydia whispered, “Them?”

While Danny whistled, “An abused rescue trained to be a service pet-slave were, that’s pretty impressive.”

Stiles only nodded; if Lydia wasn’t hundred percent sure his dad had moved on, she did now. Sexually sharing one’s pup wasn’t unheard of, but it was customary for that sharing to be strictly between committed relationships: either between the couple or shared within the family and between siblings, like he had done with Lydia. Otherwise it was seriously frowned upon in society. There was even legislation in the works to officially make it otherwise illegal.

Essentially it was the push he needed, and why he had such a hard time with his dad’s break up. Unknown to their parents, Lydia had secretly shared her pup Jackson with him.
By then they were partially living together. He and Lydia had both misjudged where their parents relationship was going. She had been enjoying the benefits of Jackson’s attention for nearly a year. When they moved in, Lydia found it funny that he got a boner every time Jackson came sniffing around him. It didn’t take him long to figure out she got a kick out of encouraging Jax’s behavior.

Although his guessing went out the window when she snuck Jackson into his room and he woke up with the pup in his bed nuzzling his morning wood. Stiles had no second thoughts, as he pulled his pajama bottoms down to allow the pup easy access to lick and swallow his cock down. It wasn’t until after he came that Stiles even noticed the bow he had accidentally pulled out of Jax’s hair, or the note that was attached to the pup’s collar. It was in Lydia’s handwriting stating: On loan to share, Happy Birthday Stiles.

Those two months were the happiest days he’d had ever experienced. Everything with Jax was everything he had ever read about what a boy could have with a pup-slave.

Sadly both had been so occupied with their senior year and Jax they hadn’t noticed the quiet riffs between their parents. Like Lydia he had thought they were fitting nicely into a new family dynamic. Neither paid attention on how often their parents were off working or supposedly sleeping at the other house for privacy, leaving Stiles and Lydia to happily fend for themselves.
If the pup wasn’t with him he was with Lydia. It was only when they were at school and had been forced to leave Jax at home that the pup got any sleep. Neither of them had any idea that things were going to dramatically change - especially the week just before they graduated from high school. That was when their parents decided they weren’t going to work out and Lydia and her mom, Natalie left; moving back into own their place.

He was heartbroken; in one fell swoop he lost a step-mom, sister, and Jax his first pup-slave. He didn’t understand why things didn’t work out, and his father never said what went wrong between them, only that it had nothing to do with either, him or Lydia.

Things only went from bad to worse when he saw Lydia later that week, she wouldn’t talk to him, but blamed him for their break up. To top things off without Jax around to help relieve his sexual tension, he was a walking erection.

That’s when he started asking or harping on getting his own pup. Dad didn’t bat an eye and repeatedly said no until one day he slipped and said if he really wanted a pup he had to go get a job and earn the money to buy his own pup.

He did. He got a job a Deaton’s clinic and between working at Deaton’s and then pet sitting for Parrish. Parrish’s pup-slave, Derek, wasn’t an easy stud; he took a lot of time and care. Overall it was enough to finally make dad see how serious he was.

Deaton had called to tell him the catcher found a new batch of pups. When he came into the clinic, the litter was separated and now only consisted of one pup. The young pup was cover in filth, and stank to high heaven. The pup’s thin frame shivered whether in fright or cold. He stayed curled up on his side, alone and afraid. However when Stiles reached out to pet the pup, and softly encouraged him to turn over, and he did. When the young pup opened his eyes, it was at that moment Stiles knew the truth. His gut dropped, even as his heart beat wildly in his chest forcing him to acknowledge that this pup was his. Instantly his heart and soul melted into the biggest softest brown eyes, silently pleading for Stiles to help him.

Lydia’s abrupt, “Oh!” caught his attention bringing Stiles back to the moment at hand. He watched as her eyes widened comically.

Stiles opened his mouth, lips spreading into a wide grin even as he was about to laugh outright then suddenly he glanced over to see what had caused her to break her normal facade.

“Oh shit, Scott, no, no, no!” Even as he said it, Stiles watched horrified, Scott’s cock stood hard, the sacs drawn up, the head slick, glistening with come, waving of its own violation. His pup was about to come and break one of PA primary rules. Even as the thought occurred to him and he reached out to clamp a tight fist over Scott’s cock in order to stop his pup - it was too late. Scott’s cock twitched harder in his hand even as streams of creamy white werewolf jiz ejaculated to splatter allover Allison’s skirt.

Seconds passed then around him Danny, Allison and Lydia squealed in laughter while the other pups around them whined, their own excitement heightened.

However it was the snide bark of Mr. Harris’ voice from behind him that made Stiles jump. “What the hell is going on here? Stilinski, this your pet? Collared, leashed yet he’s not fitted with a cock ring? Are you not aware of the rules of this Academy?”

Stiles swallowed hard, he had hated the man in high school but to see him here now as an instructor at PA… Inhaling, Stiles started to count before he turned toward the man. He hadn’t changed; he was the same beady-eyed creep Stiles remembered from high school. Muttering nervously, “Well I … I mean I…”

Looking down his nose at him, Harris leaned in. “We have rules here Stilinski, decorum, and if you and your stray do not meet the requirements…”

Lydia interrupted, “Excuse me Mr. Harris, but I am quite familiar with the rules. You’re right, they are to be followed and obeyed throughout the day until the last class bell at end of the day? Correct?” she glanced at her watch, and pursed her lips, “And if I’m not mistaken the last bell rang twenty-one, make that twenty-two minutes ago.”

Then Allison smiled sweetly, as she held up and presented a cock-ring, silently implying she had taken it off of his pup. “We were just timing the pup’s response. I wanted to see how much come he could produce – I thought it’d be a sweet treat for my pup to lick clean.”

Harris stood ridged, his anger obvious but unable to do anything about it. He barely glanced toward him, and haughtily stated, “I suggest you familiarize yourself with the rules. I wouldn’t want to have to take action against you or your stray pup – but note, you give me reason and I will. Now good day to you, as you pointed out the academy is closed, please leave the facilities!”

They didn’t need to be told twice and collectively they moved toward the exit and clamored down the stairs – each breaking out in laughter as they made their way toward the parking lot.
They slowed down when they reached Lydia’s car. Stiles looked around him, and sheepishly nodded his thanks. The words stalled, as he choked out, “Thanks! That was… I really appreciate it.”

Danny smiled and nodded, as he walked away with his pup, Ethan in tow. “See you tomorrow.”

“I got to go too…” Smirking she added with a mischievous wink, “gotta let Isaac have his treat.” Then she pulled on Isaac’s leash and left him alone with Lydia.

It wasn’t until they heard Allison’s car start up and take off that Lydia spoke up. “Harris, he was right; you better get familiar with the rules. Harris isn’t the only one here waiting to bust your balls, or your pups.”

“Yeah you’re right. Though Scott’s usually great and doesn’t need a cock ring.”

“Neither does Jackson, when he’s at home and away from other pets. You have to remember that here at the academy that’s what they are trying to do, push all those boundaries. Not everyone registered is going to graduate – only the top twenty percent.”

Absently Stiles nodded.

Apparently satisfied, Lydia said, “Good. I’ve got to go too. Mom is expecting me.” Opening the back door, she ushered Jackson in. Closing the door, she opened the driver’s door and got in. Rolling her window down, Lydia said, “By the way, I suggest you punish your pup. I know it was off hours, but Harris is going to be stalking you, looking for any excuse. A rosy ass tomorrow would be beneficial.”

“Yeah. I’ll take care of it.” Lydia started her car, and power rolled the back window half way down. It was enough that Jackson could push his head out the window.

Stiles’ fingers clenched holding Scott’s leash. He had wanted to reach out and pet Jax, not realizing until now how much he’d missed the pup. Although Lydia kept going and started to back out, she seemed to understand and smiled brightly even as she put her sunglasses on, and called out “He missed you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Left alone, Stiles looked around the parking lot, thankful Parrish was late. “Let’s start walking; I’m sure Jordan or dad will be here soon.” Tugging on the leash, they started to stroll home. Stiles lifted his other hand that was still sticky with come, and started to lick his fingers clean even as Scott whimpered at his actions.

Chuckling, “Oh no. It wasn’t exactly a great first day Scotty…”

Remembering how Lydia then Allison stood up for him, he couldn't stop grinning. “Then again not exactly a bad day either.” Walking with an added bounce in his step, Stiles gleefully bumped Scott’s shoulder looking forward to what tomorrow was going to bring. “You know, I think things just might be looking up.”

End

Pet peeve!

2016-06-29T16:32:47Z

I WANT TO THROTTLE the BITCH!!!!

NO ONE & I mean no one should ever touch someone else’s laundry! And that's something I don't do unless they excessively exceed the time. In my complex they only have 2 washers/dryers for 18 units. I started early this morning after someone else. Someone forgot their laundry in the dryer, making me use one. There was no problem until I used both washers and my wash was done waiting on the dryers – I had like 10 minutes on the dryer and they weren't quite done. So I ran upstairs to finish folding then come right back down in the 5-10 frame.

While I was gone, bitch came and instead of empting the dryer that was done (& putting the dried clothes on the counter – that have been sitting done in the dryer for over an hour) to put wash in the dryer the bitch took my wet wash & put it on the counter!

What kills me I know her and have seen her leave her shit sit for an excessive long time - & she is excessive on soap. Basically she’s an unfriendly nasty bitch! The last actually is true even if I take out this laundry mess of the equation.

From now on, the old rule - the golden rule 'Do onto others as they do onto you' is now adapted to my new laundry etiquette for whenever I have to use the machines here – meaning I won’t wait NOT even 2 minutes to remove wet or dry clothes! I think I will have to bring a folding chair down and wait so NO ONE ever touches my clothes!

Did I mention this is a pet peeve, a major pet peeve –sigh- I'm so happy I rarely do laundry here and usually do whenever I'm house-sitting.

ETA: Ha, she just apologized, but it was hollow. She even tried to say they were dry??? I said they were wet, you took it out of the wash. Again hollow, she was just trying to appease the manager who was there. Then she asked me what the etiquette is here. For me its waiting at least 10-15 minutes. Meaning you go & its full, leave your things and come back see if they come and remove things that you at least waited a little. Usually this works. I even told her I know she's left things before over an hour, so its no worries! That I'm adapting new etiquette and will not wait regardless of time, if I need/want to use a machine & if I make the mistake of losing track of time, then that's on me. IDK, the bitch is a BITCH!!!

ARG!!! However, I think I'm awake... hopefully the day will improve.

Brief update, Medical help/beta, Anton Yelchin RIP

2016-06-20T17:03:25Z

Hiya =)

Still here and going \o/

Going = writing, actually my muse has hit me and I'm writing all over the place in different fics, but I'm going to try and corral a few. Of late, my muse has gravitated to Teen Wolf. So I am writing a Sterek bigbang- and atm what I need help with is medical, maybe a medical beta? You don't have to be in TW, I just want to make sure it’s somewhat correct or at least within the right vicinity.

Character A gets hurt, shot left for dead bleeding out, but he has also suffered smoke inhalation and a few 2nd/3rd burns before they find him. In critical condition, he went through emergency surgery and is now in ICU. I just need help on any details and logistics I need to follow and time frame. I can give you a medical summary of sorts (or whole plot if you’d like –or not) of where I want to go - that'd be up to you. Again I'm looking for someone to just help me with medical aspect - or if you know of any lj/dw group/cite that could help me out...

Any and all help is greatly appreciated.

Other fics I’ve been working on, and have new words this month \o/
Note: highlighted are new fics (or new chpts), asterisks dirtybadporn that will be posted under my sockpuppet.
TW 3some 3.1k
SPN AU 762 wc
TW Allison/Lydia 948 wc
SGA Lorne/Sheppard 1.2k
*TW porn 3.9k
*CW rps porn 3.3k
TW 7.8k
*CW rps porn 775

Okay off I’m off to work

I'm still in shock over this - however my love, prayers & thoughts go out to his family/friends and to other fans – he will be MISSED!
RIP Anton Yelchin

A new support group yna_kof

2016-06-01T16:39:10Z

So I've been meaning to do this for a long time - ever since the griefsupportgrp fell apart last year. I had joined because the last four years my life has has been nothing but grieving loved ones. Last year, losing my younger brother and only sibling after losing both parents, hit a new high. My want for a new group slipped out of my grasp as my growing depression and the difficulty to just keep going through the holidays became my daily priority.

This past weekend was the hardest as it was the 1st anniversary of my brother’s death and the last time I saw him alive.

These days if I stop and think about something then it just doesn't happen. So going on the spur of the moment I finally did it and created the group, yna_kof Of course this is self-serving but I know so many of you are also going through your own private hell. Point blank, we're not ALONE. We can ALL use support!

So please go and join and spread the word. I will be tweaking the profile - if you have any thoughts/concerns/wishes you'd like me to add/address please PM.

I hope to see you there where we can create a safe haven to support each other, have a safe platform to discuss and unleash those negative voices in our heads, to KEEP ON FIGHTING!

yna_kof

Still here & lookie I signed up!

2016-05-18T17:04:28Z

My first Stiles/Derek with a couple of side pairings - a guess its a particle retelling of S1 & altering some of S2 =)

My current word count... drum roll.... 6870, here's hoping my muse sticks with me to complete the draft in time!

The Teen Wolf Big Bang dedicated solely to the pairing of Derek/Stiles!

Writer and Artist signups began: May 1st! Writers sign-ups end: May 31st, Artist sign-ups end: Aug 31st

Don't miss out on the fun! Join and/or watch Sterek-Big-Bang today!

PS: anyone interested in being an alpha reader? (Someone to cheer me on (poke me with a stick?), but also, read and send back comments for flow, plot, character voice etc - although no worries for grammar edits. I'll worry about getting a beta once the draft is complete ;)

Hiya waves here ya go, 1 long ass overdue update mostly RL with a pinch of fandom & a ton of pics

2016-05-01T21:23:12Z

Hi ALL =)

Trying & working hard to fight against the rubber room of crazy within my mind – the Keep on Fighting, has truly become a mantra, still the reality and difficulty never ends. Simply depression and grief SUCK!!! And that’s where I’ve been. Basically since the last time I posted a public update which was forever a go! As it got closer to birthdays and holidays, everything harder it was. Although I was silent here, I did work hard to keeping going and forced myself be active.

So here we go updates with brief summaries on the last 6-8 months with a ton of pics!

June 2015 thru Aug 2015

& why is it usually old or the I don't want to see you naked guys r always NAKED o.O (IE naked guy being blessed)

Selfie at Pride

Books/games at Wicked Grounds, a erotic kink cafe

Selfie on Bart after Pride

CT - Selfie at my cousin Bernadette's

Me & my aunt Judy

Lighthouses off the coast of New London area

Selfies on the yacht

More lighthouses

At my cousin Mike's house on the lake

At my cousin Bernadette's - her crew who loved my bags, for all you out there who'd love the cuteness! ;)

Sept/Oct: The only fandom thing I did was post, Broken Promises on 9-1. In rl, I was all over the place. One thing I kept coming back to was a conversation I had with my friend Nat who I’ve known for nearly thirty years. It was at a poker event dinner.

OMG, an AWESOME night!

It ended up to be a great night, as I won in the raffle: a laptop and my friend, Nat won a mini-Ipad. However the biggie was winning the tournament and the kitty pot of $300.00. Chips & me with the winning hand – trust me I was seriously shocked that I won! Then later with the tee to show off, lol

Backtracking - At some point during dinner before we started playing, somehow it came up in conversation that unless you’re friends with someone on Facebook and you send them a message, it more than likely it goes in a folder until the receiver retrieves it from the folder. Meaning if the person doesn’t know about the folder, it just sits there. So IDK… though probably because all the stuff with Jeff and not wanting to deal with regrets my mind started to drift to Maria because I had sent her a couple of messages via FB (1 message was condolences when I found out her mom passed away – the other was after my mom passed away and I offered an olive branch to reconnect) however I never received a response. For those that don’t know she was a very close friend and we had a long history and have known each other since high school – basically there was drama and I in affect divorced and ended our friendship back in ‘08, I posted about it here: http://denyce.livejournal.com/153701.html

Anyhoo the last eight years, hell in the last 4 years I changed a lot. So after poker night I kept going back to the thought of what if she never saw my messages. I honestly felt it was odd for her to not respond at least out of politeness (ending our friendship was more that we were on different paths and not treating each other nice, not because we didn’t care or love each other – like Tina Turner said ‘What’s love got to do with it?’ Right?) Anyways, my friend Nat convinced me to just go for it and reach out – that meant actually friending her on FB and to send her a new message – so I’d know for sure she had gotten it. Of course there was also the chance she actually didn’t want to hear from me ever again – but as I said I wanted no regrets and needed to walk away knowing I did what I could.

After poker night I sat on this for a couple of weeks then bit the bullet. Taking a leap of faith, I friended and sent her a message. Thirty seconds after I friended her she friended me back, and once she did friend me she received my old messages as well as the newest. We started out slow, basically chatting via FB, then thru text. Apparently like me she sorta stalked my FB page plus she stalked my niece’s page.

She hadn’t seen my private messages I sent to her, but had seen my posts of mom being sick and when she passed away. She even sent a couple of condolence cards to me & to dad, but she sent them to the old address not knowing they had moved. Unfortunately I (we) never received the cards.

After a week or so of chatting via FB/texting, we decided to get together. I wasn’t quite ready to talk over the phone mostly because I thought I’d lose it. I didn’t care about losing it emotionally as much as if I was going to there, I’d rather do it face to face. Although we hadn’t talked in eight years she’s someone I’ve known for so long, someone who really knows me inside/out, knows every story, my past, my family – meaning she really was my BFF for over 25+ years before we started to grow apart.

Since she hadn’t mentioned Jeff in our chats, I had a gut feeling she hadn’t seen that post. Again we’ve known each other for years and she knew my family just as I knew hers. She and my brother really got along and enjoyed each other’s company kind of like how I got along with her brother. Although I didn’t want to give her the news about Jeff via a text I thought hitting her with it in person might be too much – as it was everything was so emotional. So I did text her, so she could have a little time to process it.

When we did get together, there was a lot to catch up on, on both sides. We’ve both changed for the better where the timing is right we’re in a good place to be friends again. It was wonderfully cathartic to talk to her. I didn’t have to explain any dynamics/history or someone’s personally/issues/problems etc… She knew and had a better understanding of the entire picture, knew how I was feeling, understood why/how I felt abandoned by my ‘west coast family’ and was just as shocked by their behavior as I have been.

Anyhoo, having her back in my life has been great; I’m really enjoying where we’re at. Bringing the best of what we had before, leaving behind what was bad and creating building a better relationship.
She is and was a person I could spend hours with and never be bored. In fact, it always shocks both of us that we seriously lose hours whenever we’re together =)

Medical TMI, kidney stones: On Oct 4th, we were going to get together I think for lunch, but on Friday I was feeling sick and by Saturday knew I had a kidney stone so wanted to stay close to home. However late Saturday night and early Sunday morning I knew not only was it a large stone, by morning it was obvious I had complete blockage and had to go to the hospital. The pain was to put it mildly, intense! Thankfully Maria went with me and there in the Emergency room when they took it out. Whether due to lack of experience/knowledge or fogged by pain, I didn’t have an IV (I didn’t realize when they offered it that an IV meant getting the good drugs! I just wanted the stone out! I’ll never make that mistake again - like seriously!) By the third try they cut it out (as it was that close and partially sticking out/poking through the skin.

The good of the experience, 1) Maria went with and held my hand (put up with me screaming) 2) I now have Medical (previously I thought I didn’t qualify) 3) It pushed me to take serious action to change my diet. Basically my body likes to make kidney stones. I always drink water, but now I add lemon. Basically I have to drastically cut out sodium and Animal protein.

Briefly I was considering going Vegan. I’d be fine without meat, but eggs, cheese, yogurt – that was too much. So I’m working toward Vegetarian. I still eat meat, but right now I’m shooting for 3-4 meatless days a week. I’m going slowly, to really incorporate the changes into my life, especially since I’m not a cook. Cutting out sodium is actually harder because everything has sodium in it. Breaking that down means less processed foods and means I have to cook, meal plan etc. So it’s a real adjustment and HUGE learning curve. As I get better and have more meals to fix easily, I believe I’ll have more meatless days with a goal to be completely vegetarian within a year or two.

Jumping a couple of weeks, (still in Oct), I was surprised (probably because I had no expectations) that I ended up having a lovely birthday. I had dinner with Dad/Yolanda. Of course he invited others without telling me or asking me if I wanted to invite anyone O.O (yes, it is and will always be me going into his world and not him coming or being a part of my world). Still that’s who he is and something I can’t change, only accept.

Anyhoo 52 was nice, excellent dinner, good company and I even got flowers and a few gifts ;)
:

As the flowers broke down I split ‘em to keep them going for as long as possible. I got nearly 3 weeks altogether.

My birthday gift to myself. So I got these two tapestries from a client (friend, who became more like a 2nd grandmother) a long time ago, nearly 10 years ago. She knew how much I loved everything Paris (French), but also historical fashion plates. They became even more special after she passed away. The tapestry pieces were made in France. I kept them rolled up with the thought that one day I’ll get ‘em framed. Aaron Brother’s had a penny sale, buy one frame get the 2nd for a penny, and so...
Pics:
Framed and up on the wall

Hitting Halloween was hard. It was one of Jeff’s favorite holidays. Basically my b-day and Halloween, was the kick start of all the birthday/holidays/anniversaries for umpteen years (my b-day, Halloween, Jeff’ b-day, Thanksgiving, parents anniversary, dad’s b-day, Christmas, mom’s b-day, New Years). Anyhoo my depression and grief was pressing hard even though I did my best to just keep going. In fact, I grabbed onto anything/everything I could to distract my mind. Early in Nov I had a girl’s day with varkelton and sublimatedangel. We met for breakfast then took Bart into the city. Did a walk about, walked down to the Wharf then onto Ghirdelli Square. Stopping frequently because my knees are so bad! Once we arrived at Ghirdelli Square, we had a late lunch then a yummy dessert – really it was a lovely day! ;)

: The Xmas tree down at Fisherman’s Wharf, was in progress to finish and light up after Thanksgiving.

View from the restaurant

Dessert, the top, a caramel with chocolate sundae was Varkelton’s and the tradition hot fudge sundae (mine & yes I ate the cookie before taking the pic- yum!)

A week or so later, Trader Joes had a sale of vine wreaths, for $3, so I bought a couple with the intention of making a wreath. This spun into a whole crafting thing. I actually had a couple of crafting days – where I invited friends over to join in the fun! The first get together was with Maria and a friend of hers Trish, and we had a lot of fun making a huge mess, working on wreaths.

Our mess

Maria's wreath

My wreath after the 1st day- spent too much time helping others tweak their wreaths, so mine ended as a wip

The second craft day, a week or two later, I had invited more people however I had a few last minute cancellations. So it was [Bad username: sublimiatedangel] and varkelton then my friend Yvonne who came over later in the day. Once my wreath was done, I made another for friend then I started on paper boxes. I ended up making several boxes as you can see from the pics below. Again it was my way to keep myself busy and not spend a ton of money – or you know distract myself from thinking!

2nd pic of my wreath, with an elf - still in progress but getting there.

My wreath complete, with 2 elfs ;)

On her door

Let’s see in mid Nov, before Thanksgiving a few things happened. One dad went to Mexico with Yolanda, it was a planned trip. We had dinner just the two of us before he left. He wanted to give me a box, and the last of what he said he had of mom’s jewelry. He made a point to say (several times) that it was everything he had that was in the safety deposit box! I was fine through dinner and didn’t look at either the box or the envelope until I got home. It was a mishmash of stuff. None of it was my mom’s missing jewelry. One of the things I had asked for was the jewelry appraisals they had done years ago. I know it’d be different prices now - however it’d help with insurance and be a good starting point – and I wouldn’t have to go and redo of them. Yeah, I don’t have them and will never have them, as they broke down exactly what she had and each paper had grouped several pieces together. Meaning I’d know exactly what was missing o.O

Note, he did however give me a ring that was Papa’s (a family friend, his friend) including the appraisal paper. It showed the full value of the ring just over $18,000. However beside the appraisal paper I only got the metal band with the diamonds removed, meaning it’s basically worthless in comparison at a couple hundred dollars. He also had given me pictures of Amanda & Tony (their high school pictures, gifts they had given to him and my mom for father’s day/birthday, etc…) basically a mishmash of stuff most of which had nothing to do with me or my mother o.O

Why give them to me, seriously I have no idea and don’t think he even looked through the box or thought about what he was giving me. However there were a couple of things that became and are very precious to me. Mostly a few pictures that I’ve never seen. Mom as a kid, and a few of me as a baby – of mom holding me, my grandmother… (I was a month old they had a fire and she loss everything. I figured someone must have given her pictures in the last 10-20 years or so and she had tucked them away and forgot to show me – why I had never seen them.

Also I was shocked to see this Mother’s Day, thing, I wrote. From what I wrote and the covered art (I think my friend Dennette, had a hand in helping me create the cover). Anyhoo I must have been, ten or eleven; it was an autobiography of sorts. Of what I thought and felt of my family. Reading it 40 or so years later kind of blew my mind.

It was nice to see she had saved it all these years. I know and remember she had saved a lot of my things (things I had made), but in the last twenty or so years she and I both noticed (Xmas ornaments I had made started to disappear). She still had Jeff’s, but mine had somehow disappeared. Other things I remember and knew she had for a long time. In point, a macramé owl necklace I made as a kid and had kept for umpteen years.

After she passed, that was probably the only thing I had asked for and in fact took, was sentimental things. Stuff that had been gifts I made or bought for her over the years and took back, and then of course pictures (her and her family, her siblings) etc... Otherwise what I didn’t ask for anything, but she made a point to say and state to everyone that I was to get her jewelry and the curved secretary desk and trunk. The later were things dad wanted and people had to say something so I’d get it. Obviously the jewelry took longer (2+ years) and I only got it after I made a sink about it and it’s still not everything (but it’s all I’ll ever get).

I’ve made peace with it and have ((let most of)) the anger go. I’m still and will probably always be annoyed because I really don’t get the why of it o.O

Again, that night he also asked me if I was going to go to Aaron’s 4th birthday (Aaron’s birthday is the same day as my brothers, Nov 14th). Amanda did send me an invite and he’d be back from Mexico by then and we could go together. Note, at this point no one has acknowledged my brother’s passing in anyway! Also it was Jeff’s birthday; I knew I couldn’t put on and endure a fake smile nor did I want to!

Plus it’s a kids party, with dozen of kids, it’s not like I would actually spend any time with him – that both Gabriel and Aaron would be playing with their friends, playing in the bouncy house etc… Unless you know everyone and can visit (& I didn’t) or have kids there to too (& I don’t) - kids parties are more for kids, not adults. I declined and told him that most likely I won’t be going.

This kind of became a thing as he called and asked again before he left then made a point to say I should think about it while he was gone. By now I declined Amanda’s invite because now I really didn’t want to go. Then when they got back he called again and asked. I gave a definite no, but said we could get together later on. He called again that Sunday, by this time I was getting beyond annoyed. Ha, I really should have gotten that it had nothing to do with me, Aaron or my brother, it was all about him. He wanted me to go so he could announce he had asked Yolanda to marry him and she accepted. As he told over the phone while he was driving - no, let’s get together I’d like to talk to you so he could tell me in person… IDEK…

BUT whatever!!!

((Ha, I’ve stopped/started this so many times since March 1st, and now its April 30th – DAMN!!!))

I’ll try to speed this up somewhat-

And a turkey escaped! A wild turkey, at a clients’, thankful Thanksgiving was over, like this turkey I survived the day ;)

Dec, I kept busy. Whenever I wasn’t working I was crafting- anything to not think. For the most part it worked. For dad’s birthday it was surprise get together. I went over to with him & had a chance to give him his gift privately. I made a jeweled box (sorry it was one of the 1st & I forgot to take a picture.) It was a pinch larger, painted purple and studded with clear jewels. Inside were scrapes of paper, notes, I’d written expressing my feelings of how I felt about him. The idea was from a gifted box my mom gave me for Xmas a couple of years before she died.

It went over ok; Yolanda was more excited than he was, or how he appeared and showed to me. The surprise party went over fine (it was mainly her family, me, Amanda/Oscar and the kids). It was just weird for me as I was there for his last surprise birthday party (mom gave him one for his 40th – in fact, outside of he & I, there was no one from his former party. With less than five people out of the nearly 60 that were there in previous years, and that I know he even associates with today. It’s just weird! It’s like my mother’s death was so much more than her dying, the entire landscape of everything around me, him, it ALL changed in a very dramatic visceral way.

So his birthday was the 19th, and Xmas was right around the corner. I did see Amanda at his birthday, it was the first time since the Easter prior. There was no mention of Jeff on her part and we talked in a very surface way, all polite about nothing. However I will say her husband though he didn’t say anything about Jeff either, he hugged me with purchase, extra tight – that I took for as his way of saying: I’m so sorry for your loss.

I worked Xmas eve, but was surprise my time was cut short with pay & a Xmas bonus (it was awesome since she wasn’t one to give me anything the last couple of years, so it was a nice extra surprise.) That night I went over to Maria’s for Christmas Eve. It was like old times, as I did so years ago, in our early twenties few years. Back then when her mom was alive and cooked up a storm in a very traditional Italian way for Xmas eve. Although it was only the four of us (her son joined for a little while before he took off to spend with his girlfriend) we was lovely. After dinner, her sister Nancy helped me with finishing my cookies and then with wrapping my gifts as I was seriously behind. I left somewhere after midnight.

I was tired, but Christmas day was fine, and didn’t even realize how hard I had pushed myself to just get through the day until afterward. Then I discovered in the following days as I had the next four days off and my grief/depression hit doubly hard. I had vague thoughts of pushing myself for New Years but my gumption to fight against the depression fizzled and I hit a wall and proceeded to WALLOW!!!

January was wallowing and slowly working on cleaning putting away Xmas stuff. I also started to slowly organize things, or create more mess – stare at it before finally getting around to cleaning it up. Since I clean and organize for others, this was bad. But it was also how I felt, a mess, lost still in pain and grief with huge helpings of depression.

Weirdness, nature - a large mushroom growing from my cement balcony o.O

A weird explosion in my bathroom- why I have no idea, but let me share

Feb, March, April to now:
IDEK, things blended together- mainly work, stress on lack of work or rather a few clients cutting me back. I already struggle financially, but lately its getter even harder. Enough that I started to apply for ‘other’ work, mainly retail to work nights and or weekends. I’m hoping I get something, but also where I only work 1 day and not both Sat/Sun as that would leave me with zero days off, *sigh*

Easter, was fine sorta. The weirdness, Yolanda’s middle son died last year from suicide or accidental drug overdose. I don’t know again its not talked about in any way. No offer of sympathy is given or accepted. They ALL pretend like everything is just wonderful – like seriously. Although, she and ‘her’ family held several prayer vigils dedicated to her son last year for nearly a month. It involved only her family and my dad – no one else was from dad’s side was included – again not even open to allow anyone to offer any form of sympathy.

He’s still not talked about, but Easter I saw a memorial bookmark for her son. It just hurts in a deep I DON”T FUCKING UNDERSTAND kind of way how they can be this obtuse to me in regards to my brother. AGAIN, not one word of support, sympathy or anything regarding my brother and it’s coming up to a year later. They treat him like he never existed – like I’m an only child. Their deep anger and hatred toward him blows my mind, and it’s all because he wasn’t there for my mom. And I’m supposed to just keep showing up, smile and pretend like everything is fine.

I do show up, I do smile, I love them – BUT I no longer trust any of them. I know they will NEVER EVER be there for me, as all of them have already proven over and over every single time in my life, I stood alone.

I should be use to it, be okay with it – and I think finally I am getting there. In my lifetime, I’ve endured: alcoholic parents, verbal abuse, physical abuse, being molested by my step-grandfather, accidental pregnancy then having an abortion with no support, raped that resulted in pregnancy – I had considered going full term after already having an abortion, but not even a single friend or family member supported me, this includes my own mother threatening if I had the baby to never come back o.O My distrust started early in life, why I’ve had such a hard time letting anyone get too close because those that do have only hurt me more.

Now after all that then all the loses, I now know the only one I can trust is me- but to trust myself I can reach out be close that if they hurt me, that’s it’s okay because I’ve finally stopped hurting myself that I’m not the cause of it- something I have carried and believed my entire life up UNTIL NOW!

Okay, the end of this is bleeding my pain/grief, I know it, it’s what I’m feeling at the moment as everything with Jeff, his last days are coming up on a year anniversary. And I’m still the only one who’s grieved his loss – the potential of what could have been, of who he could have been. With his loss there are still unknown questions: of exactly how he died, his last days, did he know and leave my place knowing he was dying or when he didn’t show up for work… There’s no closure with the people I thought were family (my definition of family, of what that means and what you do to love and support is polar opposite of what they do, act, and how they respond to said family.)

Fact is I’m not looking forward to next week/month or even father’s day- it was all during this, their final acts about Jeff, but their singular hatred for him blinded them of everything else, including me. True fact, they seriously don’t see it, don’t see how they’ve hurt me and think, behave like I’m nothing more than a drama queen that can’t let things go- because I should be there, any and EVERY time I’m invited to be in there presence, I should jump at it, be excited with a big fat smile, kissing my ass for privilege that I’m included – yup!

To make things harder

The loss of Prince, all I’ll say is it hit me hard. I’ve been a fan from the beginning when, For You came out, but my love hit hard with 1999 then went into overdrive with Purple Rain. I played and wore out so many of the cassettes back in the day, my all-time fav: Sign of the Times, Diamonds and Pearls, 1999, Purple Rain, & Gold Experience. I have most of his CD’s and have been lucky enough to seen him 3 times in concert. The loss has cut deeper – maybe more so because I already have been having a difficult time, but there’s no doubt his music played a huge part in my life. It’s entwined in and out throughout various aspects of my life from early teens to now that it’s difficult to fully articulate how I feel. His influence and the pain of his loss wrought have been strong enough that I wanted to pay tribute in a small way by adding a bit of purple to my hair last Thursday.

All I know is for someone I never met, the impact his music made on my life has caused a ripple effect that will continue on and vibrate without the rest of my life.

On that note I’ll end this- overall I think I’m okay, I’m getting by and getting stronger. I continue to strive forward. I’m hoping my return trip back to CT later this summer will finally give me full closure, once Jeff’s ashes are taken care of. He will be added to my grandmother’s grave.

I had intended to take care of all of this last year. The plan was to have Jeff’s ashes buried with my uncle. My uncle Bobby died a few months before my mom and my uncle Jacky died back in 2010. My aunt Ronny’s been holding Jacky’s ashes as he was to be put in with Bobby. Yet Booby’s and Jacky’s sons: Matt and Sean were not ready to do so. My aunts had thought me coming would push them to move forward, but neither of them were ready, and I wasn’t about to push anyone who’s not ready.

Then my cousin Bernadette mentioned Nan’s grave. With my aunts there, I didn’t need anyone else’s permission. Unfortunately we didn’t set out to do this until my last day there. While we were able to start the paperwork, they needed at least 24 hr notice to dig the hole. So I left and had thought my cousin and aunts were going to do this before Nov and before the ground got too hard. Sufficed to say my aunt is still holding Jeff’s ashes. So yes I do need to go back and make sure it’s all taken care of. I don’t want anyone, my aunt especially to be holding onto his ashes indefinitely, or worse to die and her kids finding out she’s been holding Jeff’s ashes like she has Jacky’s.

So this has turned out to be one long ass update ^_^

I do hope to get more involved and get back into fandom. I have touched a bit here and there, but not enough I know. My muse has been a hit or miss, for good or bad. I’ve signed up for things here and there and overall have failed miserably to produce or stay in the zone. I did write a few things, one a Teen Wolf bit I haven’t even posted here however it is over on AO3. I do have a thought to add more to it, but kind of need my muse to smack and motivate me.

At the moment I’m allowing her to do whatever she wants whenever she wants – what that means in actually stories being posted, I really can’t say. There is also a possibly I might add a couple of new fandoms, in particular Magicians, Shadowhunters. I haven’t read the books for either show. First off, IMO Shadowhunters is cheesy more so than the movie. I do know who wrote the books and some of what was rumored about CC. I say rumored because I wasn’t there and only know vague things that were said. Still I found myself watching, throughout all the cheese and loads of horrible acting *coughcough* ‘Clary!’ not only did I watched it all; I actually had grown fond of Malec.

Magicians, is without a doubt a hell of a lot better!!! Seriously so!!! Love the story, characters, and a good helping of darkness. Yes, it kind of fused Harry Potter/Chronicles of Narnia with whiffs of Buffy – still I LOVE IT!!! How can I not with a canon threesome of Quentin/Eliot/Margo – but then there is also Penny/Quentin that I kind of love ;) IDK, I can see various crossovers with Magicians that could be a lot of fun.

So if anyone is into either fandoms, have fics to rec or comms… please link me

Anyhoo, I think I’m off – need to go start some laundry. I hope to again soon – I do care, I’m still am here, I still love fandom and try to make time for it as RL & my muse allows.

With love & *HUGS!* to ALL - I’ll c u on the flipside ;)

FIC: Coming Out 1/1 fandom: SPN (Dean/Cass off screen, John, PG)

2015-12-18T21:23:11Z

Title: Coming Out
Artist/Author: Denyce
Type of work: fic
Fandom: Supernatural
Spanking Pairing: Off screen Dean/Cass
Type of Spanking: off screen Punishment/pleasure
Rating: PG
Word count: 1,038
Implement: not mentioned
Summary: John suspects Dean was spanked at school, the truth forces a confession from Dean
Note: Written for spanking_world's Holiday Spankvent Day 14

John’s hands moved steadily, methodically with practiced ease cleaning his gun even as he watched his oldest son. The boy moved about the small apartment cleaning and fussing about until there was nothing left for him to do.

It didn’t take long for John to figure out that for whatever reason his eldest son must have gotten his backside tanned at school as the boy kept busy, except for one notable difference, he did everything that didn’t require him to sit down.

More importantly Dean was trying to hide the fact he had been spanked when in fact he should have given John a note from school as soon as he got home explaining the reason why he’d been spanked in the first place. And judging by the cringe Dean displayed whenever he accidentally bumped into something and his blatant evasion to sitting down – the punishment had to be a doozy.

John couldn’t decide whether to wait until Sammy went to bed or go ahead and call Dean on it now.

Dean’s subsequent announcement decided it for him, Sammy had just finished his homework when Dean stated he was going to make soup for dinner - by scratch, and had started to prep by gathering carrots and potatoes to peel and cut.

With his voice calm, John spoke, “Sam, go and watch TV in your room; I need to talk to your brother.”

Sam looked up then over to Dean and wavered when he saw the startled look on Dean’s face.

“Now, Sam.”

His shoulders sagging, Sam gathered his books and slowly left the room.

John laid his gun on the table, “Dean, sit down.”

Flustered, Dean held out a potato, “Dad, I…”

John raised his voice a fraction; “Dean sit!” the tone spoke volumes, one that broke no arguments.

Reluctantly Dean sat down. Every movement was slow, and done with caution.

Once Dean was fully seated, he asked, “Now where is your note from school?”

Dean’s shoulders dropped, but he looked up and faced John. “There is no note.”

“Did you destroy it?”

“No sir, there was no note.”

“Then why where you spanked?”

“I…” Dean flushed and looked away.

“You’re not going to try and deny that you were spanked?”

“No Sir.”

“Good. Now explain yourself.”

Dean just sat there, and John watched as the flush reached the tips of Dean’s ears deepening into a shade of crimson red. “Dean, I’m waiting.”

“I, dad, I …”

John could see the embarrassment as his son struggled to answer. Judging from his reactions Dean wasn’t trying to conceal the fact that he was spanked, but rather the reason behind it. John opted to keep it simple by asking direct yes or no questions.

“You were spanked?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Did you commit an offense at school?”

“No Sir.”

Curious John asked, “Where you spanked by a teacher?”

Dean hesitated, and then slowly he replied, “No sir.”

“A student then?”

“No Sir.

Frustrated and his patience wearing thin, John ran his hands through his hair. The wariness was clear in his voice. “Son, if you don’t want me to tan your hide every morning for the next month, you better elaborate and give me some straight answers.

Swallowing hard, Dean nodded. “Yes Sir. He’s not a high school. Cass works for Mr. Banks, as a TA. He’s in college.”

“And he spanked you?”

“Yes sir.”

“Why?”

Dean lowered his head and whispered an answer, but it was too low that John couldn’t decipher what his son said. More curious than angry John said, “Speak up.”

A few minutes passed by before Dean looked up and met John’s face and finally choked out, “I asked him too.”

There was no question John finally heard what his son said. Still John sat there dumbfounded as he replayed the words in his mind.

For his part Dean just sat there, waiting for John’s response.

It took John several minutes to realize his son thought he’d explode in anger. Gazing into Dean’s eyes, John clearly saw his fear along with a mixture of pleading need, of acceptance. It was a look that pained him, and slapped in the face. How could Dean believe John could ever turn his back on him, his son, family, for any reason?

John exhaled, the tension he felt escaping as his shoulders sagged and he gently asked, “You asked him too?”

Dean simply replied, “Yes Sir.”

“I see. Then the spanking, was it punishment or for pleasure?”

He choked out, “Both.” even as his face redden once again.

“Are you two dating?”

Nervously biting his lip, Dean hesitated then said, “Yes sir, I think so.”

John nodded then abruptly stood, he reached out and clasped Dean’s shoulder and squeezed offering a measure of support. Although the words stuck in his throat, John met his son’s gaze and let his eyes reflect the love he felt.

John waited until he felt confident Dean understood his silent message. John patted his back before he moved, “I’m going to go for a walk, and I’ll be back before your soup is done.”

Wordlessly, Dean nodded his eyes wide like he couldn’t believe what he had seen or heard.

At the door, John paused and turned toward his son, “Dean, I’m gonna want to meet this young man you’re dating, alright?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Good. I’ll be back soon.” John shut the door behind him. He had only gone a block down the street before he stopped and glanced up into the evening sky and smiled. In a choked whispered, that no one else could hear, John started talking, “You should see him Mary, our boy has grown up… he takes after you so much –the way he takes care of Sammy, our family the drive, passion, and compassion. And now he has a boyfriend, can you believe it…”

John kept walking and talking. It was what he did whenever things got to be too much. And seeing the doubt in Dean’s eyes that he wouldn’t there for him, had cut deep. John couldn’t change the things he had no control over, but meeting Dean’s boyfriend, offering his son acceptance to be who he was – that was something John Winchester could, and would do.

Fin~