Host Michael Taft speaks with Andrew Holecek about the practice of Dark Retreat, how the mind “falls into itself,” light as obfuscator, the revelation of the construction of reality, the power—and very real dangers—of Dark Retreat, ways to begin the practice of Dark Retreat, nondual view, Andrew’s own journey into this practice, and the “collision with the infinite.”
Notice that each time an object fades, a perception vanishes, dissolves, relaxes, lets go, reveals its emptiness, shows its dream-like nature. Each time that happens, there is a similar relief, a similar letting go, kind of an inner aahh, each time an object does this dance of opening, relaxing, letting go, fading, dissolving, going away. That same sort of pleasantness is available. So just notice that.
Host Michael Taft speaks with meditation teacher, clinical psychologist, and author Dr. Tucker Peck about the the difference between developing a clear understanding of how your psychology works and feeling just how you want to feel all the time; the importance of focusing on mental process verses mental content, his practical definitions of sanity and sainthood, his three-stage model of meditation, and what it’s like after years of daily meditation practice.
Simply rest as fast spacious wakefulness, allowing everything to be just the way it is, exactly the way it is, a shining miracle of purity and joy, and a foul cesspool of filth. Notice the resistance, or the urge to have it be one or the other completely, or to get rid of one half of that, or to grab on to the other half, and just relax. Notice the spaciousness of the body, spaciousness of the self-story, spaciousness of thinking, spaciousness of awareness itself. Notice that every single thing that is happening in experience is nothing other than awakeness itself, while at the same time, also being experienced. It’s not just wakefulness itself, there are properties to notice—that awareness itself, wakefulness itself, has no center and no edge, and no in between. Notice that now.
Now, continuing to just sit in simple presence, notice if there’s any tension in the core of your mind. Tension in the core of your mind is what keeps you grabbing onto thoughts, or grabbing onto ideas, or trying to figure stuff out, or trying to plan. It’s like there’s a fist in the core of your head, and it keeps grabbing on to stuff. Even though, of course, there’s no fist in the core of your head, it feels like muscle tension almost. So, if you can notice that, the thing to do is relax that.
esting as awake space, recognizing that the stillness of awake space, and the movement of thought, are never separate. They always arise together, as does the stillness of awake space, and the movement of emotion, and the stillness of awake space, and all the movement of the world, all of the activities of our mind and body, and even of the world around us, the other people, the cars, airplanes, birds, wolverines—especially wolverines—in the tiger satellites, moons, stars, suns, all co-arising with awake space. Never separate, all inside us, inside awakeness, inside being. A kind of reflection, a kind of show, but an exuberant, beautiful, meaningful, show, that is always playing out on the screen, so to speak, of awakeness itself. Which is what we really are—even though it’s not a thing. So with that let’s bring the meditation to a close.
Host Michael Taft speaks with Stephen Snyder Sensei about practicing the Pa Auk jhanas, the importance of vulnerability in finding authentic strength, his two paths for awakening: the Theravada cessation path and the Zen shikantaza… Read More »Awakening, Cessation, and Vulnerability, with Stephen Snyder
Now ask yourself, and don’t answer from thinking, or memory, or reasoning, or rationalization, or the mind in any way, simply look for the answer. Where is the center of this awareness? There might be a center to the visual field, but that’s different. Where’s the center of awareness? Where is the awareness itself coming from? It’s very simple to boot up the rational mind or the memory and be, like, well, it’s coming from the brain, but that doesn’t mean anything in terms of your experience. I’m asking you, in experience, right now, where is awareness coming from? Where is it? Is there a fountain of awareness that is pouring out of? Where’s the fountain? With your eyes open, look at the farthest away part of vision. Isn’t awareness there, too? Because you’re aware of it. Where’s the awareness located?
See if you can find that subtle energy behind the breathing, that subtle energy behind the breathing will be moving up and down in the core of the body, but you may find you feel it also in the extremities, or on the skin, or whatever, but kind of the core of it is in the core. It’s right in the center moving up and down the central channel. As you feel that subtle energy moving the breath, notice you might start feeling it and you might start feeling kind of emanations from that energy, feeling your extremities lighting up with some tingling, some energy. Your hands and feet lighting up, maybe even your forearms and often also lips and face. It’s no big deal, just feel all that energy in the body and notice that it is very pleasant, very very, perhaps subtle, and often quite pleasant energy sensation. As we continue to just allow the breath to rise and fall in the sky of awareness, the wide open, easy, relaxed, effortless sky of clear wakefulness that is always present, that has always been present.
Host Michael Taft continues a lively discussion with author and ayurvedic physician Dr. Robert Svoboda about the Aghora method of transmutation, alignment with nature, deity yoga, deities as a co-creation of humans and a cosmic… Read More »Aghora, Deities, and Devotion with Dr. Robert Svoboda
Good. Now, look at the mirror. What is this mirror of vivid experience? Look at it. Let the mirror of vivid experience see itself, not as some kind of imagination, which is just a thought. We’re letting go of thought. Just let it see itself. There’s nothing to see, and yet there’s a mirror of vivid experience. But as much as you look, you can’t really find it. But the looking does something. Of course, there’s no actual turning around involved, there’s no looking backwards, or something like that, because it’s in every direction. Allow this awakeness, the sky of awakeness, to just be awake to itself in this utter stillness and openness. If there’s anything at all that you are, it’s that skylike awareness. That’s the mirror of all experience, the non-thing that knows. Be what knows.
In this vast, open, spacious awareness, the flow of thought activity is actually just a very, very, tiny part of it. That’s why we’re not really narrowly focusing on that–it’s just one of the things happening in this wide open space, and all we’re doing is not getting caught in our everyday thought. When we are tightly focused down on that flow of thought and really concerned with the content, it’s as if there’s a giant wide open sky, and we’re sitting out in our garden, and we’ve got our stamp collection, and we’re focused down on the stamp collection, and we never notice the sky, even though it’s there the whole time. We’re just really involved with this 1932 Argentinian stamp. We’re way down in there, and we forget this sky–so we’re doing the opposite here. We’re just being the sky and the “stamp collection” is there, too, it’s just one of the many things that’s happening, we’re not ignoring it, we’re noticing now–switching the metaphor, that it has some activity happening there. We’re allowing it to move and change in an unfixed way.
Host Michael Taft talks with Vajrayana teacher and author Charlie Awbery about the meaning of their practice name Rin’dzin Pamo, Tantra, curiosity, new developments in the Evolving Ground community, the role of play and spontaneity in Vajrayana, a special invocation written by them and David Chapman, when the teacher/student relationship breaks down, transformation, and how to liberate the shadow.