take me out tonight, take me anywhere, i don't care, i don't care, i don't care

New and Fresh

deadiisco — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 00:52:46 GMT

THESE FEELINGS ARE GOOD. This is my body saying go for it. No this is not about a boy. I want this job. I will get it!

EDIT

I GOT IT! WHAT UPPPPP

my love

deadiisco — Mon, 03 May 2010 05:02:38 GMT

JD and I are taking the plunge and will be moving in together at the end of the Summer. Seeing as this is something we would talk about when we were younger it does make me happy. But the reality is that it will be stressful to find an apartment we both like and in an area we both want to live in. I'm trying not to stress but I'm also having issues at work. The owners of the cafe are getting divorced and are going to sell it. I wanted to find a second job for Summer but it looks like I really need a replacement for the one I have now. This coupled with a other sets of problems has me down. School. Family. Work. Bills. It will never end. As I get older I'm beginning to see it all. I'm becoming an adult but I don't feel ready. For the most part I am independent and I do things on my own without any help but in the back of my mind I'm hoping that one day I will be saved. Well the best I can count on is JD being successful and me doing the cooking and the cleaning to get free rent and to drive his Tahoe. And you know that doesnt sound too bad.

EDIT:
We found a place!! Yay! Two bedroom, two bath, wood floors whaaatt upppp

deadiisco — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 06:20:46 GMT

I deleted his number from my phone today before class. I felt my insides smile. This is a good step.

deadiisco — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:36:15 GMT

will i feel different when it's true? will i feel different if it's you?

stream

deadiisco — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 08:59:04 GMT

I was thinking about you while on my way home today. It was such a long drive and towards the end you were pretty much the only thing on my mind. For a moment I felt something that I hadn't felt in a while. I don't want to put a name to the feeling but I wish I felt that all the time. It's funny because I was thinking of you and the past and how I regret. I regret the decisions I made because now I know, you were something special. My brain cant seem to forget you, it doesn't want to. My dreams make me wonder of what it could have been like. I'm always so close and then I wake up. I never get to feel it I guess because I never really did. I try to remember everything but I hate how much I've forgotten. But now I know that your timing was perfect. You came into my life right before it turned upside down. I didn't know it then, I guess I ignored it but now that I think about it, you were something like an angel.

deadiisco — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 09:12:09 GMT

JD PEREZ IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. 10 YEARS AND COUNTING. MY BOO I LOVE YOUUUUUUU

deadiisco — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:41:12 GMT

i'm constantly reminded of how much a fool i really am

what is this?

deadiisco — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 06:11:01 GMT

I've been having this urge to call you and it wont go away. I really want to but I don't know how you'll react. Are you mad at me? Are you over me? Do you even want to hear from me? It's starting to hurt now. It's been almost two months since we last spoke. Our last conversation we talked about not talking and I remember saying "don't call me" but right now all I want to do is talk to you. All I want is to hear your voice. I want to know how your Christmas was and if you kissed someone on New Years. I can't get you out of my head. Why do I feel like this? I've been gone almost 6 months and now I'm starting to miss you. Now my heart is breaking. I'm scared that you've figured me out and realized what a bad girlfriend I had been. I'm sorry. I look back on everything and wish it could have been different. I wish I didnt do so many things behind your back. Why why why? I dont know. I wanted to feel more than what I felt. I wanted to love you more but I couldnt. I want to know if I can love someone more. I hope I can because I dont want to do the things I did to you to them. I dont want to hurt the person that I love. So did I love you? I think so. If I didnt then why does it hurt to not talk to you now?

always creeping

deadiisco — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 03:34:42 GMT

Why do you always have to do this to me? Just when I thought I didn't need you. You somehow got me dreaming about living with you.

deadiisco — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 06:54:26 GMT

Sarah Palin is a fucking joke.

what I'm getting into

deadiisco — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 05:47:02 GMT

A month and some days till I'm twenty. I want a belly to rub. I'll be seeing eagles of death metal in a couple of weeks. And I'm trying to get a cheap ACL ticket. Weezer and KOL are coming here in October. Let see if I can get some bday pressies. Hah. School is just about to get hard. The first week aint no thang.

barista

deadiisco — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 07:17:37 GMT

I start my new job tomorrow. I'll be working at a cafe that is a block down from where I live. School starts in a week. I'm excited to get things rolling.

I was so busy before I moved up here and now it feels so good to be lazy and do whatever I want. It really is a relief to finally be moved out of my mom's house. I really think I got out just in time. The only things I miss are my dogs and cable so I can watch Weeds.

I cant wait

deadiisco — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 03:57:19 GMT

In two weeks I'll be out of Corpus Christi and living in Austin. It'll be glorious.

it's happening

deadiisco — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:19:05 GMT

I'm moving.

deadiisco — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 19:33:34 GMT

things are looking up

RIP HEATH

deadiisco — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 05:30:16 GMT

I'm sad about Heath Ledger. He had so much ahead of him. I feel so sad for his family especially his daughter. It's good to know that he is missed by everyone even people he didnt even know.

my boo

deadiisco — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 22:06:20 GMT

deadiisco — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 23:29:23 GMT

You're our secret. Our sad secret. And by the end of the month, a secret that won't exist anymore. Hopefully...

deadiisco — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 01:18:42 GMT

On Monday this obese guy from school asked me out for drinks. "And if your not twenty one maybe some coffee or tea?" EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

deadiisco — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 00:27:01 GMT

I'M CRUSSSHHHIIIINNN

deadiisco — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 05:07:22 GMT

For a whole week I wasnt giving any fits. I talked to him early today. We laughed and flirted then starting to argue. I had to fuck with him and try to make him feel shitty for me feeling shitty. The result equals me staying home all day crying. I slept almost all day and now I'm up. I took Blanca for a short walk. This other dog was barking at her and she got scared. So she kept pulling me in the other direction. I picked my classes for next semester. I'm going to try and keep busy.

4 parts

deadiisco — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 20:58:27 GMT

I'm so jealous of everyone right now. I have no one to lean on. JD's gone for now and Tommy left me. The two people that were a huge part of me are out of my life.

The thought of Tommy brings me to tears. I know I know I know it needs to be over but I miss him so much. All I want to do is look in his eyes and kiss him and hold him. A part of me thinks that I wont find anyone else that I can be 100% of myself with. I also think that no one will love me because I'm fucked up. I think he loved me so much because he was fucked up to.

I have made a plan that a year from now I'll have 30 college credits and I'll be applying to UNT and UTA. If I keep up the good grades I'll get in and get out of this town. I'll be way closer to my boo and far far away from this city.

deadiisco — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 21:45:01 GMT

I'm in the worst fucking mood right now.

I want one

deadiisco — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 23:40:22 GMT

deadiisco — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 07:20:42 GMT

You gotta love the mind and how it breezes good thoughts on by and stops on the bad ones.