[Continued from here]

Pressing my hips harder into him I watch as he closes his eyes, the pulse in his neck becoming even more prominent to my eyes. With a groan I close my eyes tightly, burying my face in his neck as his scent fills every part of me.

A snarl escapes my lips and all I can see behind my eyelids is the light fading from Lindsey’s eyes as I drain him. The urge and want to brand and mark him for my own is almost too much for me to handle, it would be so easy to let go…

It’s not like anyone would notice either. Nobody would care if there was one less lawyer in the world…

Lindsey’s squirming and moaning pulls me from my thoughts and I shake my head, blinking a few times to rid my eyes of that glazed look. All this isn’t about anything but power and control, nothing more.

“Not such a big shot now are you Lindsey?” I whisper in his ear, my tone hard enough to make him shiver. Then again with the current situation he’s in I can’t see him doing anything but shivering.

The subtle movement of my fingers against the most sensitive nerves causes Lindsey to grunt and writhe sharply under me. Leaning in lower, I mimic the movements again only to keep my eyes locked with his as I do. Twice more.

I lean in and drag my tongue over his salt covered neck, my tongue moving to his ear as the pounding of his heart in mine becomes almost deafening. “Do you want this? Want me?” Lindsey grunted and I smiled. “Doesn’t matter what you say, I can smell you.” I lean in closer and press my lips just lightly to his ear. “All you had to do was beg…”

Sitting up I run my free hand over his warm skin, feeling the coolness of the thin veil of sweat over his back before I reach lower until my hand is under him and grasping at his cock. “You come on my sheets and you’ll get your wish of finding out what a bastard Angelus can really be…” I murmured against his neck, my tongue making a small path over his skin, my fingers dragging harshly up his arm until my hand wrapped around his scared wrist.

Everything is torn inside me, torn between confusion, shame and now with Faith around…lust.

I know bringing Angelus was the best plan…or maybe it was the only plan we thought we had at the time. I have to think that way, if I think any other way then I’m going to start blaming myself for everything that happened.

Everyone thinks I killed Lilah, can’t say part of me kind of wishes I had, but I still feel bad for Wesley that he lost her. Even as sick and twisted I might find their relationship, he deserved to be happy – especially with this life we lead. But I didn’t kill her… I did drink from her, when I close my eyes I can still remember the taste as it ran down…

I can’t keep thinking like this, I have to stop. The urge is always there, but it’s worse when things are back to the somewhat normal life I lead. Normal is a state of mind I think, not something you can actually have. The hardest time for me to be and do what I need to do is when Angelus gets put back where he belongs. But I’ve support, I know that now, and even though things here at the hotel are total chaos I know that I have at least one person on my side.

Faith.

Never would have thought that Faith of all people would be my side, but after the Orpheus she knows more about me then anyone, she’s seen more and even understands it. Can’t say it doesn’t hurt a bit that she knows me better than Buffy does, but it’s not something I can help. I’m not one for sharing and I never meant to share that with anyone, not even Faith or Buffy.

Digging my hand’s into my pockets I walk up towards her room just as the sun went down. I couldn’t chance getting burnt trying to see her during the day, not to mention Faith is more of a night person anyway. Maybe she’ll be up for some patrolling or something, I’m feeling a bit too antsy to stay inside tonight. Not that the other night sparing wasn’t well…enjoyable.

It feels strange not to feel comfortable in my own hotel – my home – but then again I kind of did make it that way myself. Went evil, went on a rampage and nearly killed all of my friends and helped The Beast destroy Wolfram and Hart.

Though, the latter isn’t the bad thing out of what happened here in LA recently.

I still can’t help the guilt I feel about all the horror I helped reign down on this city, the city I chose to protect. It feels like in a matter of day’s I’ve negated everything I’ve worked so hard for the past few years. Makes me feel like all we did before didn’t count, like Doy… I can’t think about that.

Thankfully Willow came and put my soul back where it belonged, inside me – pushing Angelus away a bit harder – where it had to torment and remind me daily of all the wrong that’s been done. That I’ve done.

Running my fingers through my hair I sighed and knocked on the door to Faith’s room, leaning up against the doorframe and waiting for her to answer.

Not a day goes by that I don’t regret being here, dragging my friends along with me into this hell of a place. But I had to, I didn’t have a choice. Lilah made that clear.

She wasn’t lying, Connor was out of control and needed to be stopped. I’d already lost Cordy and I couldn’t lose my son, especially not after everything that had gone on the past year. I wasn’t able to save Cordelia or Darla so I was going to save my son.

I’ve learned in over a century of living being on this earth that you can’t change the past…ok, not always. There was that one time…

Now isn’t the time to dwell on things of the past. I can’t.

I have a multi dimensional corporation under my fingertips and I can’t trust more then a few people; even they have been questionable as of late. Fred spends too much time with that guy in the science lab that I don’t know if I trust, Gunn let the firm tap into his brain and pump it filled with all sorts of info that I can’t even grasp half of it. I’m not so much untrusting of Lorne but I’m worried about him, after that Halloween stunt I’m afraid to see how much I can count on him. His drinking hasn’t gone unnoticed either…least by me.

Then there’s Wesley. Things have been better since last year but sometimes things feel awkward. I know it’s just from me, I’m the only one that remembers Connor and carry’s the burden of what really happened last year.

There’s no way on this earth I’d think of trusting Harmony or Eve for that matter, I can’t trust them as far as I can throw them…

I guess it comes down to just me, again.

The sharp sound of heels digging into the hardwood floors of the hallway to my office broke me out of my thoughts, but I made no effort to move or acknowledge them. There are only two people in this office that wear heels that walk like that, I’m not sure what level of hell filled doom I feel like being in right now.

“Hey there big guy.”

“Eve.” Wonderful, the one I didn’t want to see. I’m not in the mood for condescending bullshit right now. At least Harmony is so brain dead you can ignore her.

My arms still crossed over my chest I stared out of the building, the irony not lost on me that I used to look into this building trying to destroy it. “What do you want? Don’t you have someone else to annoy?”

“Now why would I do that? The other’s aren’t as much fun as you.” I heard her voice shift in the room as she walked over to the couch and sat down. I guess she was staying. “You’re thinking about him again aren’t you.” Well now didn’t that sound like a statement more than a question. What now, does the firm have my thoughts lojacked too?

I sighed – my annoyance rising as it always did with Eve – and turned to her. “What is it your business anyway? Oh, that’s right. None of yours.” I looked at her pointedly, getting irritated at the smug look on her face. “Eve, if you don’t have anything of use then get out of my office.”

She stood up and walked over to me, looking right up at me. Not even a hint of fear surrounded her. “You always think you call all the shots don’t you? Well, you’re wrong Angel, as always. The shots you’re called are by the partners alone and what they allow you.” She turned and headed for the door, but not before looking over her shoulder and casting a look at me. “Better be careful Angel, I am your only link to them upstairs and if I’m not mistaken they also hold the link to Con-”

“What did I say about words passing your lips?” I cut her off, narrowing my eyes and daring her to finish that word.

“You forget what I said about my lips.” She paused and opened the door to my office. “Just remember Angel, you might be the CEO but you don’t have all the cards…” I watched as she left the room, shutting the door behind her and leaving me to stew in her words.

That seemed to be her point all along; that’s always her goal it seems.

I didn’t like anything that she said, I didn’t like even more that she was even a bit right about everything. I didn’t have all the cards and I didn’t know what cards The Senior Partners were holding either.

Out of total exhaustion I sat on the stairs of the hotel, looking around at the mess in the lobby…and the office…and behind the counter…and the weapons cabinet.

When Darla left I snapped, threw anything and everything that I could get my hands on. I had the thought of torching Cordelia’s desk that Darla and I had our moment of whatever you want to call it, but instead I ended up slamming it into the wall so hard I heard the wooden top crack.

The place was in shambles, much like everything else was right now. I’d have to do something about the place, then again it’s not like I care too much or like there’s anyone around to care or complain.

Darla was gone for nearly four hours before I could leave the hotel when the sun set, if I was going to look for Faith the right way then I didn’t want to worry about the sun. I didn’t care where I had to go or whom I had to beat up to get information, I knew I had to find her.

I was alone in this fight, much like every other fight, and this time I didn’t have backup even if I needed it. There was no way that Buffy would come to LA to help me, even if I did think of calling her away from Sunnydale and that military whack job she calls a boyfriend.

It was well after midnight by the time I landed in Lorne’s bar, I was near desperate for information. I didn’t know how long or why Darla would keep Faith alive. Darla was desperate for something, I wasn’t sure if it was still getting me back with her or if she had herself set on something bigger. I just knew I couldn’t count her out for anything.

The one thought I wouldn’t even think of was the notion that Darla was going to turn Faith just to watch me burn in another failure. I’m so tired of burning and I wasn’t going to let Darla win this one, not this time.

Before I got over to Lorne – who was surrounded by some girls that wanted to know how he got all that make-up on – I noticed Lilah in the corner sipping on scotch and looking around like she might even be a bit distressed.

Lilah Morgan distressed? What perfect timing on my part, I am sure I can get a little information out of her…before I pushed her further to get more. If anyone knew where Darla and Lindsey would have Faith it would be Lilah.

Instead of staying I decided to head out and wait for her by her car, if there's one thing I'm not right now is stupid. I couldn't touch her as long as she was in there. So I sit by her car and wait.

An hour later I heard the clicking of her heals as she headed towards her car, she paused for a moment when she spotted me, then continued closer. My eyes narrowed as her eyes locked with mine with a look of defiance. I smirked as she stood in front of me, I could smell the smallest hint of fear, even if she did well to hide it. “Why hello Lilah, I’m sure you know why I’m here…”

Why? Will someone please tell me what did I do – recently – that was so wrong that I have to be stuck with Spike for whoever knows how long? I don’t get it, I’m supposed to be one of the good guys with The Powers and I get stuck with the biggest pain in my ass in centuries.

Alright, so we work for Wolfram & Hart now, but they gave it to us and what better way then to be inside evil to stop it? That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, that’s because I believe it…I think. At least I did when we started this.

I’ve enough to worry about right now then where I stand with The Powers. We’ve already lost so much in a few months, I was going to be damned – again – if I was going to let the Immortal of all things get his hands on Buffy.

Tried calling her countless times but she was always out or unable to get to the phone, I think that Andrew just didn’t want me to get a hold of her for some reason. I’ll have to have a talk to him, after this is all done.

Rome can’t be so big that I can’t find a damn Slayer anywhere, especially Buffy and if the people I had track her down were right, then she was with Faith. Faith didn’t know the meaning of low profile so wherever the noise was, that’s where she’d be.

I’m sure I could find them faster if I didn’t have Captain Peroxide in toe with me, he always slowed things down, even when we were with Dru and Darla he always managed to fuck things up.

“They’re probably at the club my informant gave me.” I grumbled, holding up the paper, moving my hand away before he could snatch the paper. He made a sound and I turned to glare at him. “Not one word. I don’t want to hear it Spike. I don’t care if she beat them up or whatever. We know what that prick is like, they don’t. Slayer or no slayer.” My eyes narrowed at him. “You remember what he did to Dru…” Low blow? I didn’t care. “Let’s go.”

Shoving my hands in my pockets I started walking down towards the music that came out of the club, making notes of the area and remembering how much it’s changed since I was here last.

Spike slapped my arm and I looked over, seeing the backdoor open I nodded and we headed in, bypassing security and whatever else they might have had. Running my fingers through my hair I looked around the crowded club, glancing and giving a small thought to pulling the fire alarm just to get people out of here, but that was pushed aside when I looked out on the dance floor.

Buffy and Faith were dancing…with each other…and they were… “Is she? Are they? What the hell…” Why did I feel like I was walking into a very – very – private moment? More importantly, why didn’t I care…