The Fall of the World's Own Optimist

Dang, I kinda wish I lived in Jersey

darkluna — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:17:45 GMT

'cause:

1. I'd be near a real city.
2. The best sandwich shop in the world is in Princeton. (Seriously, I ate there about 12 years ago, and I still remember that sandwich.)
3. The hyperkinetic bass player of my dreams is single, and that's where he lives.

*sigh*

Stuffs What I Want to Finish Within the Next Year

darkluna — Sat, 19 May 2007 23:52:40 GMT

Mostly for my own reference, as I don't imagine anyone but me is that interested. But putting it up in the public might make me write faster.

1. The Coed, the Prince, the Magician, and His Lover
Yes, I choose my work-in-progress titles mostly on the basis of how much they make me giggle.

2. The World with No Leak at the Seam/The Heart and Mind of Valor Donnelly
Or else because of their ridiculous length. This is the post-apocalyptic fairytale and the side story that might be its own work and might only be scaffolding I need to build the first one.

3. Desert Magic
a.k.a. the archaeology story, or one of several examples of how I am incapable of writing a traditional romance novel because one or the other of the characters always decides to be an immortal fire spirit or something.

4. Belief
Oh em gee, a one-word title. A short story threatening to turn into a novella.

And a bit of fanfic, including The Cracktastic Crossover That Seems Less Cracktastic the More I Work On It (Magician's Nephew–era Narnia/Fullmetal Alchemist movie—think about it!).

Fanfic meme

darkluna — Tue, 15 May 2007 15:52:15 GMT

Seen at musesfool:

If you had me under your command and could make me write anything, regardless of whether or not I know the fandom or if anybody even writes fic in that fandom and no matter how crack-addled it might be, what would you love to see me write?

I know I don't post a lot of fic, but I'm curious what people might say, so if something springs to mind, by all means, ask!

Like I told musesfool, I almost asked her for my pet FMA fic wish, but then my brain started to say stuff about it, and it said:

He's an amibitious skirt-chaser who can start fires with a snap of his fingers. She's the best shot in the military and hides her affection with snark. Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye! Solving mysteries! With a dog!

And I said, "Dude, I want that one for myself."

Like I need another fic to write, what with the cracktastic Narnia crossover and Alphons Heiderich stoically pining. *sigh*

Kitty pic

darkluna — Sat, 12 May 2007 17:27:01 GMT

Mona, Spike, and Anya want out on the deck so much. The little lizard or gecko or whatever is bluey black and about 5" long, and, unlike most of the things the cats think they want to catch, they probably could catch this one.

Their tails were switching back and forth in time, like a trio of metronomes.

50 things meme

darkluna — Sat, 12 May 2007 01:40:52 GMT

Ganked from bethynyc.

1. What is your first name?
Mary. But it's purely decorative—I've never answered to it in my life, except when it immediately preceded my middle name. Which no one uses but my family. :-)

2. Were you named after anyone?
Both grandmothers.

3. Do you wish on stars?
I wish on the moon.

4. When did you last cry?
Yesterday while rereading Prisoner of Azkaban.

5. Do you like your handwriting?
Yes. It's tidy and cool.

6. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Tempeh. :-p

7. What is your most embarrassing CD?
Shania Twain?

8. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
One of my best friends is "my clone," and another is "my evil twin," so probably.

9. Do you have a journal?
Yep.

10. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Naah. Never.

11. What are your nicknames?
ellie and that one my family calls me.

12. Would you bungee jump?
No.

13. Do you untie your shoes before you take them off?
Nope.

14. Do you think that you are strong?
Fairly.

15. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Mint chocolate chip.

16. Shoe size?
7 1/2.

17. Red or pink?
Black!

18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
My half-assedness.

19. What do you miss most?
Gasworks at sunset.

20. Do you want everyone you send this to to send it back?
Nope, 'cause I'm not tagging anyone.

21. What color pants/shoes are you wearing?
Black jeans, and I'm barefoot.

22. What are you listening to right now?
The hum of my PC, and Julie telling me there is an invisible bug on the wall.

23. Last thing you ate?
Dinner at Ichiban: spicy tuna sushi and their vegetable fried rice.

24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Burgundy.

25. What is the weather like right now?
Humid and threatening a storm.

26. Last person you talked to on the phone?
My dad? Calling to invite me to dinner? Or maybe the wrong number who was all confused when I answered "moshi moshi!" (No one I actually know ever calls my land line, so I answer it whimsically sometimes.)

27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Hair.

28. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I got it from Bethy, and yes!

29. Favorite drink?
Soy vanilla latte.

30. Favorite sport?
To watch? Football and basketball. To care about? Baseball. To play? Durrr, mini golf?

31. Hair color?
Dark purply-red.

32. Eye color?
Usually brown, but they go greeny when I'm very tired.

33. Do you wear contacts?
No. I do have glasses for reading, though.

34. Favorite food?
Malai kofta. Or latkes. Or volcano rolls at Sekisui.

35. Last movie you watched?
I think it was Spider-Man 3. It was disappointing. I wanted to stop watching halfway through and go write an AU fic where Peter stays skeevy, Harry stays fun, MJ realizes she laughs a lot more with him, and someone for frak's sake gets the money to the Sandman's sick daughter!

36. Favorite day of the year?
Halloween!

37. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings.

38. Winter or summer?
Winter! Now, please.

39. Hugs or kisses?
A good kiss includes a hug!

40. What is your favorite dessert?
Creme brulee.

41. Who is most likely to do this meme?
Whatever. :)

42. Who is the least likely to do this meme and comment?
I dunno.

43. What books are you reading?
Goblet of Fire (rereading all the HP books in preparation for Book 7) and Another Green World

44. What's on your mouse pad?
The Titanic. (Old mouse pad!)

45. What did you watch on TV last night?
ESPN News. SPN is Tivod.

46. Favorite smells?
Coffee brewing, vanilla, cinnamon, lavender.

47. Favorite sound?
300 people in a dark, smoky club, all holding their breath as the melody to "She Sends Kisses" kicks in.

48. Rolling Stones or Beatles?
Usually Beatles.

49. What's the furthest you've been from your home?
bethynyc and linithiliel are right; it is "farthest." And Paris.

50. Do you have a special talent?
I can do that thing with a cherry stem with my tongue. And I always spell "cinnamon" right on the second try. :)

darkluna — Wed, 02 May 2007 15:50:25 GMT

I ordered some doujinshi on 4/29, and it's already here. I have never known porn to travel so fast. Seriously, was it entered in some sort of porn semi-circumnavigation race that I just didn't know about?

I blame this journal's recent porn fixation entirely on the fact that Beltane and a full moon happened so close to each other this year.

Eventually I'll decide "Probably" and keep going, but what a mood-killer

darkluna — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:36:10 GMT

Where many fanfic writers might work like this:

La la la, I have the idea for teh hot pr0n!
*scribbles madly without a care in the world*

I'm more like:

Ooh! Idea for hot porn!
*scribbles madly*
Hey, wait. I wonder if they have circumcision in Amestris.
*thinks very hard*
I cannot proceed without a satisfactory answer!
*stops composing hot porn; begins composing letter*
Dear Arakawa-san, Could you please answer a few questions for me so I can write more accurate smut?...
*realizes this is stupid, pouts*

There's just no pleasing me

darkluna — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 22:24:17 GMT

I discovered today a kink for a pairing I'd never really thought about before, and I tried to find the sort of fic I wanted about it, but had no luck. Oh well; you know what they say: if you want filthy quasi-incestuous fic done right, you've gotta do it yourself.

I must say, though, that now that I'm actually sitting at home writing porn, I'd kind of rather be out with a human being. :-/

It's raining men...yay?

darkluna — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 19:55:27 GMT

Suddenly I have Possibilities.

Bachelor #1 is pretty, pretty, pretty and way too young, and I've already talked about him, and we'll see if anything happens.

Bachelor #2 is a cutie I noticed way back when I first moved here, who has lately been winking at me and otherwise stepping up the flirtation. He has many lovely tattoos, which is always a plus, and his hair changes color and configuration more often than mine. And, unlike B1, I know where to find him if I wanna.

I went out with Bachelor #3 a few times and then, well. On our third date, he sneakily tried to put his arm around me while we were walking.

BOY: *sneak!*
DARKLUNA'S BRAIN: No touching! No touching!
DARKLUNA'S FEET: *hurry-up*
DARKLUNA: Ooh, look at the cool books in this here window.
DARKLINA'S BRAIN: Hey, that totally seemed accidental. Way to go, feet!

A bit surprised by my brain's outburst, but trusting it on this, I let B3 go gentle into that good night, and he seemed to do so quite obligingly. Except that he sent me mail yesterday. While he is very nice and has good taste in music and movies and stuff, he's almost...too nice? I don't mean "Ooh, treat me like crap, baby."[1] I mean that he didn't seem to have his own opinion about anything. Everything I liked, or wanted to do, was fine with him. He's the one who caused me to post about how staying home to write porn is often more rewarding than going out with an actual human being. He's like that.

So now I have to decide what to tell him. I see a few options:

1. Lie a little and say I'm really busy right now with work and family stuff and writing, and I just don't have time for a relationship, leaving out the "with you" part.

2. Lie a little more and say "It's not you, it's me," and figure his Relationship Eupehmism Translator will function well enough for him to see that it's totally him; fool that I am, he just doesn't do it for me.

3. Lie slightly more egregiously and say "Sorry, I've met someone else." This seems more egregious because nothing has really happened with the other Bachelors yet, and "I've met someone else" seems to carry an implied "with whom I am happily ensconced in new-couple bliss."

4. Tell--god forbid--the truth and try to find a nice way to explain that my brain rebelled at physical contact, but hey, you sure are nice, seeya, good luck.

Leaning toward a nice note saying some variation of 1. As the ex's awesome ex[2] said, it's always wise to try to maintain good dating karma.

[1] Though I must admit that I am bent enough that given a choice between B3, who would probably one night say "Would you please come home with me?" and B2, who might well say "Why doncha come over here and fuck me?", I'll take the perv with the pretty tattoos every time. I don't want someone who would probably be a good dad someday. I want sweaty, filthy sex.

[2] Ex-hubby's ex-girlfriend, whom I met in SF, is eerily like me, but way more awesome.

It's been a while since a music post

darkluna — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 20:18:01 GMT

Here, a meme of my own devising.

FIVE PERFECT ALBUMS
Abbey Road
7 Worlds Collide
The Meadowlands
Layla & Other Assorted Love Songs
Making Movies

FIVE ALBUMS I JUST ACQUIRED
Gold Dust Trail - Warm in the Wake
Fourteen Autumns, Fifteen Winters - The Twilight Sad
To Force a Fate - The Reputation
A Guide to the Daylight Hours - Ballboy
Year Zero - NIN

THE FIRST FIVE SONGS THAT COME UP ON SHUFFLE
Corduroy (live) - PJ
Satin in a Coffin - Modest Mouse
Superball - Aimee Mann
I Don't Know Anything - Mad Season
Untouchable Face - Ani diFranco

FIVE CDs I MIGHT HIDE FROM A HOOKUP (if I believed in doing that sort of thing)
The Way It Is
the Titanic soundtrack
Come On Over
The Best of Corey Hart
Hybrid Theory

FIVE AWESOMELY BAD SONGS I ACTUALLY LIKE
Sunglasses at Night (though I own the above-referenced album mostly for "Never Surrender" :-))
Two Princes
Broken Wings
I Would Do Anything for Love (Including Recording an Overwrought Jim Steinman Song with a Subtitle Longer Than The Title™)
Breakfast at Tiffany's

Yeah, I skipped a grade, but STILL

darkluna — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 16:25:32 GMT

On Friday I said, "I've decided how young 'too young' is: if he was born after I left elementary school, he's too young."

On Saturday I found myself kissing a boy who was in kindergarten when I was a senior in high school.

If I'd known it was going to work that way, I would've been more specific!

The adventure of little Spud

darkluna — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 16:25:58 GMT

I had 9 cats for a little while yesterday and this morning. Yes, I was scared too.

My cousin had a cookout/housewarming, and the whole family met at my parents' house to go over. While we were at my cousin's, my sister realized that Little Man's pacifier had gotten lost. It didn't turn up back at my folks' house, so we were all out looking for it about 9:00. Yep, five adults with flashlights, desperately searching for the baby's favorite pacifier. My nephew isn't spoiled or anything.

This wee little kitty showed up and just started hanging out. My parents live right by some very dangerous curves that people take way too fast - their road is the main thoroughfare between the freeway and East Ridge. This little guy had no business being out, and he seemed kind of clueless about the whole Outdoor Cat thing. He came right to me when I called him, and let me pick him up, and purred. So I held him while my sister and her family drove away (Little Man had flung the pacifier under the passenger seat, but we found it!).

When I put the kitty down, he didn't seem to know what to do. I felt really nervous about just letting him wander off into the night when he didn't seem to be an outdoor cat. The women across the street were out smoking, so I asked them if they knew who he belonged to, but they didn't know of anyone who had cats.

So I decided to keep him for the night. We gave him half a dose of flea drops, and I brought him home with me and quarantined him in the spare bedroom. He ate like he was starving. He was very sweet and affectionate. I'm sure he belongs to someone, because his fur was soft and he was very clean. I hope he got out accidentally.

This morning we took him to the animal shelter. He didn't have a chip, but I assume that's where his people would look for him, since it's the animal shelter closest to my folks' house. (And they don't euthanize.) And if no one claims him, I'm sure someone will adopt him. He's cute and wee, and a sweetie. Here are some pictures:

Like most lovey cats, pictures of him tend to come out as blurry extreme closeups. :-) I was calling him Spud. He wanted to go out and see the other cats, but I told him if he did, he'd be Mashed Potatoes instead.

I hate it when I'm in the wrong point of view

darkluna — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 20:53:43 GMT

For a taciturn character, Gracia sure has a lot to say.

Unfortunately, this story is supposed to be from Beth's perspective. (I think I'm having a hard time concentrating on it because I find the older characters more interesting than the college-age ones. The older ones have all that great baggage and history.)

Context: Calvin Mathiesen is the most famous (and most inept) magician in the US. Beth and Edward went to him for help finding Richard, Edward's little brother, who got lost during time travel. Cal admitted to them that he couldn't do the location spell, but took them to Gracia Grant, who is, as he says, "the only real magician in New England." She also happens to be his ex-lover. (I still haven't broken that habit of being extra-mean to the characters I love the most!)

***

"Missing your adoring fans?"

Mathiesen did baffled injury so well, she almost bought it. "But Gracia, I hate all that. I know as well as you do that I don't deserve it. Hell, I probably know it better."

She ignored the pang of sympathy, but sat down next to him. "So why do you put up with it?"

"I want to help people. I always have."

"I help people," she said. "I just--"

"Do it so that you don't have to interact with them?" he finished for her.

"I-- Well." Damn. She hated it when he was right. "Yes."

"So you don't have to bother with anyone," he said softly, and he seemed much closer than he'd been just a second ago, tall and warm and, somehow, still a comforting presence. "So you don't have to let anyone in."

"It makes it easier," she said, trying to put some starch into her voice.

"Of course it does," he said. His eyes had gone very green. "But don't you think..."

"I don't think," she whispered, which certainly seemed true enough at the moment.

He might have realized he was going to kiss her about the same time she did, she thought, but she was quicker to react, and moved away.

"Let's not complicate things," she said.

He grinned in that way of his, much too easy and charming for anyone's good. "I had kinda hoped you'd let me complicate them a little before shutting me down."

***

And in case anyone from St A's is reading this, the person from whom I blatantly stole Cal's last name was B's dad ('cause he was my History of Magic professor), not B himself. :-)

Now is the time when we squee

darkluna — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 16:48:54 GMT

Eeeeee! Drive! It was fluffy fun with craziness and purty. :-) And I luff Melanie Lynskey.

Judging from the comments on TwoP, Nathan Fillion has Johnny Depp–like powers when it comes to making straight guys say "Well, maybe I'd take one at-bat for the other team..."

I just wish it weren't on the same time as How I Met Your Mother. I watch four current shows, and two of them conflict? Grr.

Reading roundup

darkluna — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 16:00:04 GMT

I finished Widdershins the other night, and I really liked it for the most part, though I had a couple of problems with it.

The first is a problem I've often had with de Lint, in that even though he uses a lot of different POVs to tell his stories, all the characters pretty much sound the same, and I suspect they sound like Charles de Lint. (OK, except the crow girls.) In this book, we've got faeries and native spirits and gods who forget their true nature and humans who know them and humans who've never seen anything weird happen. But their voices aren't as wildly varied as their personalities.

The other problem is one that started as a minor annoyance, and now it's one of those things I can't stop noticing. Is there a single person in Newford who had a normal, happy childhood? I know a big point of the Newford stories is that the characters made their own families because the ones they were born into were so lousy, but does it have to be everyone? I mean, I'm the softest softie in the world. I cry over dead cats on TV, even when they're clearly stuffed. But when I have trouble remembering who had what childhood trauma, and I'm bored by said traumas? It might be time for some variety.

But those problems were, after all, relatively minor. As a writer, I have to admire and envy the way de Lint makes the pieces of the plot fit together. I'm a terrible plotter and I pay particular attention to good ones, and man, he is definitely one of the good ones. He'll plant the resolution to one of the last problems within the first few pages, and when it all works itself out, it seems both surprising and inevitable the way really good writing can.

Plus, if I have an OTP in the deLintverse, it's Jilly/Geordie, so hurrah for canon! :-)

In other reading news, I finished the first Artemis Fowl book and giggled madly through most of it. Now I'm reading Strong Poison, which has been on my to-read list forever, and my friendslist is all Peter-Wimsey-enamored lately, so it was clearly time. I'm on chapter 6 or so, and already I'm like "Apparently-unrequited love! Witty resignation to its unrequited-ness! And arsenic! Why did no one tell me this existed sooner?!"

Ooh, and I read a couple of Gideon DeFoe's Pirates! books. They are extremely light reading, but very entertaining and clever.

In the first one, I especially liked how the pirates had to use an aircar, and it was noted that it ran on hydrogen. On and on they went with the hydrogen. "Here's a smoking section by the hydrogen tanks... here's the big open flame..." So you know what's coming, right? Nope. No explosion. The setup for the joke went on so long it became a joke itself. I liked that little bit of confounding expectations.

Also, if you read these, note the chapter titles in the TOC and in the text itself.

PATHETIC

darkluna — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 01:26:42 GMT

Not only did I cast votes for American Idol for the first time ever, I actually feel a bit concerned about how easily I was getting through on the line for Blake.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, kids. We're living in some kind of Bizarro World where That Girl Whose Name I Still Don't Know and Phil And His Bat Ears are still around, and the judges said nice things about Sanjaya. Who can blame me if I fear for the televisual longevity of that morsel of Seattleite cuteness that is Blake?

darkluna — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 17:52:56 GMT

What I told theohara the other day is still true: every time I have a date I'm not all that excited about, and it gets time for me to leave, I think Can't I just stay home and write porn?

Why? Here's why.

It doesn't cost a dime.

I can smoke the whole time if I want, and no one will be around to judge my addiction or complain about my breath.

It's much safer than getting out on the road.

I don't have to apply makeup (at which I am terrible) or even wear shoes (at which I am worse than terrible if the heel is more than 1 1/2").

I get to eat whatever I want for dinner without worrying about whether it's really vegetarian.

If you subscribe to the theory that each character represents an aspect of the writer's psyche, at least some of me is guaranteed to get some.

Any conversational awkwardness happens on paper, and for comedic effect.

In fictional sex, no one ever knocks their noses together, discovers they're wearing the ugly underwear, or forgets where the condoms are. Unless, as above, it's funny. And if it is, it's funny to everyone involved.

If there's mood music, it's appropriate and everyone enjoys it. ~~And no one ever says "OK, we can listen to the Rockfords, but if you call me Mike, I'm leaving."~~

It doesn't matter if I take a break to watch the Good Eats espresso episode, make some espresso, and go to the bathroom. The characters wait patiently until I get back to them, and they're still in the mood when I do.

I actually have something to show for my efforts at the end of the night.

Is it wicked not to care?

darkluna — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 16:51:26 GMT

Me (typing): I have some things to finish up before I can meet you this evening.

Me (thinking): Like the Sokoban levels in Nethack. Those boulders aren't gonna push themselves, you know!

Hee

darkluna — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 17:53:07 GMT

I'd never worked on a book that employed the term "clusterfuck" 'til today.

I love my job.

Random thoughts

darkluna — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 15:56:29 GMT

Please tell me someone has written a fic in which Booth's psychiatrist has to call in a certain snarky doctor from Princeton for a consult. :-)

The other day I was reminded that for a person with a terrible sense of direction, there are few satisfactions like the one of realizing you have been somewhere often enough that you've crossed the line between knowing where it is intellectually and grokking where it is such that there's no chance of getting lost trying to go there.

I think one of the many reasons I loved Seattle so much was that it was laid out intelligently, and if I had a street address for a place within the grid, I knew where it was. I was almost never lost there. Except when I had to go to bloody Magnolia.

darkluna — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 18:05:59 GMT

It's been so long since I've gotten any action that I think I may have to aggressively find a way around the main obstacle, which is not having met anyone I want to go to bed with. Like, just find someone nice and reasonably smart, by whom I'm not repulsed, and close my eyes and think of Secaucus.

I think that's how half the staff of Pitchfork gets off anyway.

Delurking for a moment

darkluna — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 19:12:33 GMT

Music rec: Guster. They're like Poi Dog Pondering x the Wrens + a pinch of Eddie From Ohio. I downloaded Parachute from emusic, and have been listening to it a lot.

I wrote this big long thing in my paper journal about how I realized I've been unhappy everywhere I've lived, even though I've somehow edited my Seattle memories to think I was happier than I was, but I bitched and moaned there as much as I do here, just about different things. (And I'm very grateful to the friends (*cough*like zinnea*cough*) who put up with me.)

And I thought about how my mom is really happy all the time, even though she's a fruit loop, and maybe it really is as easy as deciding to be happy. So I'm trying that.

darkluna — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 16:35:46 GMT

Hey kids, in case anyone wonders why my entries went bye-bye, I hid them all. I've been trying to get more serious about my writing, and I hope this will remind me to keep my priorities straight. I spend way too much time goofing around online!

Further online dating adventures

darkluna — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 21:53:21 GMT

I imagine your dry humor and sense of timing have a hypnotic effect that would bring me into your world. So subtle and deep would you draw me that I, your victim, would scarcely realize the fading of my world from the periphery. Sounds, shapes, all that that is familiar for me would transform into what is all around you. Your voice, rhythmically cadenced to every third step to avoid any habitual logic patterns. Spoken in soft low tones your words would comfort my foggy emotions. Devoid of any visible sharp edges your realm would seem endless and expanding to me. When finally our eyes meet I am powerless to look away. You hand me a tablet and pen. Scrawling for some time I record all that I’m feeling…incense, tea, sunset… We quit work for the evening, make dinner and watch a movie.

WHAT.

darkluna — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 21:25:48 GMT

Yesterday the cats had peed all over my possessions enough that I had travelled through the land of Just About Had It With All Of You, almost as far as its border with the land of Figuring Out Where To Bury The Bodies, before I decided to just get the hell out of the house.

Today I bought them another litter box and feel cautiously optimistic.