Returned

We are beings of light, and the quantum state in which we are the brightest is in our heart energy. This is most excited by love, joy and compassion.

Kenneth Schmitt, Quantum Energetics and Spirituality Volume 1: Aligning with Universal Consciousness

Springtime in Chicago is a weather lover’s dream. A warm sunny morning in low 60s can whiplash into gale force winds, pulling a blanket of fog off the lake to engulf the city scape like a hungry monster. Even in mid-May a pelting rain can suddenly freeze into wet snow covering the springtime foliage fighting to survive. 60 mile an hour winds often blow 80+ temperatures into the city for 24 hours delivering torrential rain and the threat of tornadoes. Looking at the weather for my second trip back to the city in two years, I winced at the predicted 40-degree nights and a drizzle filled weekend. Fortunately, I was attending a wedding that will be remembered as one the warmest gatherings of my life. Close friends met in improvisation classes 40 years ago were walking their son down the aisle to marry woman he met in a study abroad program in Ireland eight years ago.

During the flight into Chicago for the festive weekend, memories of another close friend added significance to the celebratory itinerary. Just over two years ago he scheduled heart surgery to assure a full recover before an upcoming group bike trip in France. Sitting in “silent” car of a Metra train headed out to the suburbs, I missed a call from him the night before the surgery. In a voice mail he said, “I’ll see you on the other side.” Sadly, that is when I will see him again.

At the funeral his three daughters spoke simply and eloquently about their father sharing a piece of advice he repeated throughout their lives, “Never miss a family reunion, a wedding you are invited to attend or the funeral of someone you love.” Words to live by that rest closer to me when these events are placed on my calendar.

Arriving at O’Hare for the first time in two years deepened the nostalgia as I moved through the airport looking for the subway into the city. The airport, underground tunnels and train were all spotless and almost sparkled. A significant improvement from my memories of the city post COVID. I selected a subway car in the middle of the train that wasn’t too crowded and found a seat. A couple entering right behind took the adjacent row across from me. The man looked oddly familiar, and I suddenly had a premonition he was in town for the same wedding. Several more people filled our end of the car and we rolled away toward the city.

A woman a few seats away from the familiar looking man questioned him about the best subway stop for her hotel. Proclaiming himself a tourist, no insight could be provided. I quickly shared being a previous local and offered directional assistance to several people. Then the man adjacent to me said, “we are staying at the Chicago Athletic Club, so we get off at Monroe, right?” It was the same location of my friend’s wedding. Excited, I said, “are you here for a wedding?” He indicated it was just a business trip. But the question pulled us into a conversation about weekend sites to checkout, restaurants, Chicago history … that deepened the feelings of familiarity surrounding him. His partner was busy on her phone and looked over a few times, but didn’t engage.

Then the conversation shifted into the cold weekend ahead and he said, “we are from Fort Myers, I hope we packed the right clothes.” I chimed in, “I’m from Fort Myers … moved there two years ago.” The hometown connection pulled his partner into the conversation and suddenly I locked eyes with her and said, Dr. R…. (protecting her identity) ?” She responded, “Dan!?” I recently joined her practice and have only been to the office twice. An odd coincidence, but I also think it is a synchronicity.

Often physicians are clinical, cold, aloof, rushed, bookish … basic brainiacs lacking a personable approach. In searching multiple national and regional medical provider web services, she was the only general practice physician I could find in a 100-mile radius who was intentional about sharing an openness and interest in treating LGBTQ+ patients. In our first meeting for my annual physical, we spent an hour talking through my relatively routine medical history. She was personable, inquisitive, insightful and extremely thorough. In our brief conversation, her partner clearly displayed the same characteristics. The familiarity I sensed as they sat down was the magnetism of their unique humanity, amplified by the synergy of their relationship.

My friend, who passed the sage advice of family reunions, weddings and funerals on to his daughters, exuded a similar magnetism. Another unique personality characteristic spoken about during his memorial service was almost always “feeling deeply seen and heard” whenever you were in his presence. In this world of multitasking to stay “connected” it is increasingly difficult to be fully present even with our loved ones. Cell phones, computers, emails, text messages, Facebook, Instagram are constantly vying for our attention. Sadly, it is a rare experience to speak with someone and feel their full focus and attention.

The news of his passing was received through a cell phone call while moving through the Atlanta airport. “He was the best of us” was the first thought that entered my mind responding to the stinging news and it still frames my memories of him today.

Magnetism is a key ingredient of a synchronistic experience. It usually requires an open and inquisitive spirit to witness the universe creating a little magic. A tiny glimpse of something or someone pulls your awareness out of the daily grind and time seems to slow down for just a second or two. Like a magnet attracting to steel, your attention and focus is drawn to a person, object, event or sound standing out against the ordinary.

An example is feeling a strange and almost gravitational pull to someone, often a stranger, walking your way. This happens to me several times a year in a busy location like an airport, movie theater or walking down the street in a bustling city. I see a person who is usually a stranger and there’s a sensation that our paths are going to intersect. But as I try to veer away, oddly as we grow closer, both of us adjust in the same direction and almost collide despite catching each other’s eyes and trying to avoid an awkward interpersonal intersection. I’ve never met someone under these circumstances, but I’ve always wondered if there was some destined connection that aligned our paths.

The subway encounter set the tone for the celebratory trip back to Chicago. Magnetic energy is the best way to describe the wedding events. When there is a gathering of people filled with genuine fondness, respect, love, and comradery for each other it expands the magnetic energy of everyone. Friends, grandparents, cousins, colleagues, siblings – most people at the event - elevate the consciousness and spirit of the intimate gathering.

Relationships are complex. Inevitably imperfections, grudges, and challenges emerge, unfortunately often festering in ways that can take weeks, months or even decades to resolve. But when there is a soulful magnetic gathering, most complaints, grievances, embitterments, jealousies – virtually any drama from our simmering humanity - cannot gain a foothold. The negativity is either completely extinguished or pushed far into the background. The spirited celebration will not be compromised.

These events present the opportunity to bridge the gaps, bury the hatchet, forgive the oppressor, rediscover lost gratitude, give some grace or simply look the other way. If you find yourself at a spirited wedding, funeral or family gathering – be open to or seek the mysterious magnetism of togetherness bring peace beyond the limited understanding and awareness that often pulls us apart. Resolution and forgiveness are unlikely to happen at the event, but it can open the opportunity to begin what could be a powerfully cathartic healing.