But what does it mean?

Writer's Block: Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known

2010-11-09T13:57:15Z

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2010-03-02T12:19:32Z

Aretha Franklin's version of Otis Redding's Respect is a hugely popular song that really is great. It's an anthem that brings us together and makes us feel strong and hopeful. It makes me want to stand up and dance.

I was listening to Otis Redding's version of the song, and I noticed something.

Otis sings:

Do me wrong
Honey if you wanna
You can do me wrong
Honey while I'm gone
But all I'm asking for
Is for a little respect when I come home

Aretha's version:

I ain't gonna do you wrong
While you're gone
Ain't gonna do you wrong
'cause I don't wanna
All I'm askin'
Is for a little respect when you come home

My first interpretation was that Otis's version is edgier, with a touch of cynicism.

But listen to Aretha:

Ooo, your kisses
Sweeter than honey
And guess what?
So is my money

Otis's verse doesn't have that barb:

Hey little girl,
You're sweeter than honey
And I'm about to just give you
All my money

Aretha does get a little harsher near the end:

I get tired (just a little bit)
Keep on tryin' (just a little bit)
You're runnin' out of foolin' (just a little bit)
And I ain't lyin' (just a little bit)
(re, re, re, re) 'spect
When you come home (re, re, re ,re)
Or you might walk in (respect, just a little bit)
And find out I'm gone (just a little bit)

It's a great song no matter who sings it, but it's always been about money as power and buying not love, but the appearance of love. Aretha's guy, apparently, has already started to break the rule. Otis just assumes that his sweetheart will be unfaithful.

Otis's version works because it plays off the familiar scenario of a woman ingratiating herself to a man for his money. Otis's knowledge that she's there for the money gives him a touch of humility.

Aretha's song works because yay, she's a woman! She's a woman with enough money to take on the role that's usually masculine.

Mostly, though, it's just a great song.

Story 104: "Kevin," by Justin Glasser

2010-02-23T01:28:36Z

You'll remember Kevin as the boy with the stigmata from "Revelations." Scully takes on the role of his protector. She seems touched, even changed, by what she experiences, but the episode ends and he's forgotten.

Justin Glasser's story takes place three years after "Revelations." Scully has kept in touch with Kevin, at least sporadically, and now she gets an urgent call from him for help.

It's a casefile with an unusually good portrayal of Scully as a thinker and a believer. At twelve short chapters it's a brisk read.

http://www.reocities.com/Paris/Lights/7752/kevin1.html

For the final chapter, go here:

http://web.archive.org/web/20050112214843/http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Lights/7752/kevin12.html

A glossary of commonly used phrases.

2008-07-20T18:02:48Z

"It is what it is."

Translation:

It doesn't work, and don't you dare try to fix it.

"He means well."

Translation:

The chaos, suffering, destruction, or waste he causes is motivated by something other than a pure desire for chaos , suffering, destruction, or waste.

Maybe he (or she) is working under a firmly held misunderstanding of the facts. Maybe he is trying to hide his incompetence. Maybe his (her) thought processes are impaired.

"Your loved one is in the recovery room. You can see her (him) in about half an hour."

Said by a surgeon to the patient's waiting relatives. It means:

See you tomorrow, I'm outta here.

Unless it means: In the time it took me to walk from the operating room to the waiting room, your loved one was extubated, teleported to the recovery room, magically hooked up to monitors, assessed by the nurse, and medicated for pain. Within thirty minutes, the nurse will force someone on my service to write orders and will initiate those orders. Then the nurse will get your loved one cleaned up enough so that you can visit without being horrified.

Take our survey.

Buy something, or at least provide us with your personal information so we can sell you things later or at least sell your name to someone else.

Blankety Blank Hospital [Bank, Insurance Company, School] cares about you.

We hired a copywriter who was too indifferent or stupid to understand that you are aware that "caring" is not a function that is available to an institution.

Maybe we wanted to say that at this institution, you will receive everything you're entitled to without having to fight for it, but we were afraid you might try to hold us to that.

Those others are fine people.

This is used when the speaker becomes aware of your group affiliation, or that of a third party. As in:

There used to be a Jewish family in town and the mother was in the PTA and the kids were in scouts.

There's a Puerto Rican woman at work, her son goes to Good College, and when we have our luncheons she brings in a wonderful rice dish, but I don't know what it's called.

Mr. ApparentlyGay taught at the high school, and my brother-friend-sister had him for two years, and he was a very good teacher and there was never any trouble.

Translation:

I mean those people no harm, but the mention of them makes me so uncomfortable that I have to say something immediately.

I can't find my birth certificate.

2008-07-12T15:39:54Z

I have operator's manuals for stuff I don't even remember and pay stubs from 1978, but no birth certificate.

I also found a scrap of paper, maybe 2 inches by 4, on which I'd copied the following:

Progress in morals is an illusion, there is no goal to which moral development inevitably tends; indeed there is a hidden root of insincerity and hypocrisy beneath all morality, for goodness and badness and all other moral states are in fact states of conflict between opposing impulses.

You'd think if I cared enough to write that out longhand and save it, I might have thought to include the source. I'm sure I didn't write it myself; I would have found more pretentious synonyms for goodness and badness.

Go, Celts!

2008-06-13T06:23:02Z

Seriously, is there any way that Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen don't deserve a championship in their careers?

I missed the game, except for the last 46 seconds. Too bad.

Bumper sticker

2008-05-15T06:44:52Z

I saw a bumper sticker that said "One Gay at a Time."

I'm mystified.

Only have sex with one gay at a time?

Exterminate them, one at a time?

"Cure" them, one at a time?

Sell them Amway dealerships? Timeshares? Win their votes?

Never hire a decorator while you're having your hair done?

Maybe it applies to schools or military units. Straights may use the showers or locker rooms in groups, but gays must go singly.

As I said, I'm stumped.

What we can learn from Project Runway.

2008-04-28T17:01:57Z

I've become a Project Runway junkie. I couldn't possibly care less about fashion without being a radical nudist, but I love that show.

They got something right that every school I've ever gone to got wrong: they separated the role of judge from the role of mentor.

I'm crazy about Tim Gunn. He's confident without being an egomaniac. He's knowledgeable, open-minded, articulate, and tactful, which makes him a good mentor. He's also very entertaining, which is fortunate, since he's on TV. As the Runway contestants design and sew their creations, he provides advice and feedback. He's a resource to them, but he doesn't score their work. That's left to the snarky judges.

I could have used somebody like that during my school years, because It's kind of tough to expand your knowledge when you have to be careful about revealing your ignorance. It's not much of an issue in the primary years, and it wasn't a big deal in college, but it's major when you're in a program that systematically cuts a large fraction from an entering class. You don't ask a question because you need to know something, you ask a question to demonstrate how much you already know. Real questions are whispered from one student to another.

In school or in life, people don't usually say, "That's a stupid question." What they do say is, "You should know that," or "How did you get this far without knowing that?" (If the offending asker outranks the person being questioned, the comments occur later and are addressed to a third party.)

Maybe we could have a stupid question amnesty day. You'd have to be patient with a lot of idiots, but think of what you might learn yourself.

Purposeful anatomy

2008-04-27T12:14:48Z

(I was going to call it Intelligent Design, but I didn't want to attract that kind of attention. I specialize in superficial rants.)

God's intentions as deduced from human anatomy:

He wants your clitoris where you can get to it.

He's less concerned about your risk of aspiration than that of his other creatures.

He doesn't think fat guys should be able to see their penises.

He wants fungi and bacteria to have a nice place to live.

He never planned for you to travel at speeds over ten miles an hour. (Seatbelts, you idiots. Bikers, wear your damn helmets.)

John Irving

2008-04-22T13:50:30Z

He sure thinks of a lot of different ways to kill his characters, doesn't he?