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Exoteric teachings. Little field consciousness. Schemers of exoneration. Underclass aphorism. Liberal capital hallucination. The pillow of my cheeks. Blame = loss of freedom. New writing for a new survival. You can’t surrender with a weapon in your pocket. I saw a space ship and he looked happy. Superfluidity is how I remember free parties. Ace of Cups. Eucharistic Host. I came from the water of my mums uterus. If you want to see the blueprint just ask.

Today I am irrelevant. So my art don’t suffer. But a new thing is coming.

Water whispers the secrets of feeling. Dribbles the secrets. Spits the secrets. Steams the secrets. Pisses the secrets. Frosts the secret. Tsunamis the secrets- over the top of everything if it has to. Collapses time and space. Other dimensions. Three places at once.

This year all the symbols will come alive. You might regret if you use one you can’t earth… Haven't earned… Don’t deserve. You might float away. You might get lost. If you're wearing a council house as an accessory. Babe, that just looks bad on you.

I read tarot a lot. But Im scared to read my reflections. A trans person told me one day i must face myself.

When I pass, i’ll cross dress and sneak into women spaces.

Two second puberty’s at once is too many. The black snake takes you as a parent, then a friend and finally a lover. I used to have full body organism's now I have full body cries.

I love to sip a whole pint of piping tea. A spoon at a time. Burning my throat and stomach ulcer.

I can never resolve the tension between me and nature; because I take hormones. Or the tension between me and the state; I have to lie.

The earth loves me.

It’s not about that. It’s about having nothing or no one and wanting to live for the hell of it. 

I love to see a fast cloud makin his way in the world. 

Fuck the world.

I grew up in your dealers house. I never had a key, the door kicked open.

I lost stuff and things. 

I’m not lost. I just need my own origin story.

When I was a kid I thought bliss was a swear word. 

A natural spring leaked outside the house, mam woz always ringing the council about it. In the winter it froze and peoples slipped when they was walking by. I’d watch from the window. I din’t want it to stop. It was a gift just for me. When my mam got an ASBO we lost that house. I hope that leak is still leaking now.

My attachment wound is homelessness. Is- if I don’t do what you say what happens to me? Oh and its me with the personality distorter.

I was asleep and dreaming of being awake. Stealing from heaven. Orbs visited my bedside. I don’t get why no one else heard me ask for help. Yes I do. People disassociate around true vulnerability.

Those who where against me failed to break me.

Class mobility = class traitor.

Be careful- What one judges they cursed to live. I accused an anarchist of a law fetish. The next day I fuck a police car. 

I want to live! 

in a house!

with heating!!!! 

My ego rebuilds quickly!

I wanted a mum with a car. Not walking to a drug house on the edge of the cheapest county, in the cheapest shoes from the cheapest shop. 

Swing for the fences. Have a dust up. Ending up in someone’s wherever. 

The middle classes love choice; be criminal or vulnerable.

A tiny hole to see the whole wide world.

The power dynamic under the power dynamic.

The mist rolls across the fields and the A road at night.

Reality is what I say it is.

Mum gave me up after she went online. Lost the will. She chose a life on all fours. Became a cat girl and started to eat pet food full time. She got tired of grooming me to be her owner. She left behind her only an ashtray full of nubs.

The water cycle of my body. Extended cognition. In a burning ball to the left of me. My pain! I can only see demons I once served. I translate this into Universal Credit English. Doctor, I hallucinate. Apparently the only way to prove this is have my human rights crossed. My abuse is not well documented. Because of this I can’t seem to get well.

Don’t forget what Rimbaud said about the sun mixed with the sea. And don’t forget that he never went back to God.

Sean Bonney said no English speaker has ever fully understood Rimbaud. But it’s only those of us with poor cruel mothers who really know. There are whole mental illnesses in the underclass which have never been ethnographed.

The world is illusionary but it is not an illusion.

I’m fourth generation on the Irish Sea with only a the clothes I stood. I lie- I took a small bag. But the sea begged me to throw it in.

Easter morning at church and the priest sprays us all with oh so holy water.

Jesus is a water dietey. A no death diety.

I was never so crazy I thought I was Jesus. I only thought he was my boyfriend.

My top ten liquids are; fizzy water, black gunge, custard, barley cup, green gunge, gravy, cola, ketchup, gazpacho, pee.

Don’t tip a drink on me i’ll cum.

I’m addicted to forgiveness porn.

I want to fuck the fountains in the town center. The ions in the air kissing me as I walk by. The sound of a thousand tiny bits of water hitting the floor are like a thousand tiny feelings.

Rain pours out the sky all over my head- it has eyes and ears. The street starts to run. Every drop is my body. The roof, the road, the back of my neck, is all me. Every bit of water on every bit of town, is all me. Every bit of water talks to every other.

Rain isn’t a sound its a feeling.

I miss my boyfriend.

I have many centres. The water comes to each of them in a different way. Tells me this is what feeling is. Whispers- stop using us as a metaphor. We are literally this.

So who cares if I have nowhere to go?

I wait for the day everyone else realises we’re all psychic.

The clairvoyant and my endocrinologist said I am  chronically dehydrated.

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image 1 - ACE OF CUPS

image 2 - Grow your own Jesus

image 3 - THE WORLD XXI

Last updated 3rd July 2024