When I was a kid I dint have a dad to teach me about football. While I was told at home I was Irish, at school the kids in my class said- you support the team of where you live. Thats how I became an England fan, and why I saw England as something that was for everyone. When I found out what the English had done to Ireland it was too late. Sadly, you can change your gender but not your football team. So, after that, I just din’t tell my family what team I was supporting in the world cup. The world cup as a kid was my first exposure other cultures, I loved to see all the teams on the telly and imagine what the countries would be like. And I got the France 98 bed spread on sale after it was over- it had flags from all over the world on it. It was my first non pink bedspread.

In 2020 JK Rowling won the Russel prize for her transphobic writing that was total fantasy. Defensive, repetitive and failed basic standards. The BBC nominated her not because they agreed with the sentiment apparently, but thought it was courageous she said it. It was then that I thought I should start to read the football scores on my own instagram at the weekends, so people down have to go to the BBC anymore. But, I was not well humoured at the time- being disabled and with long covid, homeless again and near destitute. Living at my exes house back in my home town- a small white poor midlands town that has been visited by every far right cadidate as long as i can remember to try and win labours seat. so, I’d sleep in his bed, all my stuff piled up next to me and he’d sleep on the sofa in the sitting room. He says it’s in case he has to run out the back door, because some local facsits are after him for things he said on Facebook. I think the truth is that they are mad he keep appearing on “Ilson DILFS” which is a Facebook group made by the woman of the town for nice dads they fancy. Its around this time I realised I needed to medically transition.

One day I come down the stairs and there is my ex unable to eat his cereal because his laughing so much. Milk rolling off his spoon and over his chin. What’s funny says me? He shows me the news- there is a new app that can swap your gender and they have put the faces of politicians in it. he shows me a picture of boris as a woman sniggering. I loose it at him, and tell him gender isn’t a joke and run up the stairs to find this said app, download it and put own face in it. He don’t know yet, any of my trans thoughts. When I see what I look like I burst out crying. I can’t do this thinks me. I can’t trans myself if I'm going to look like Tommy Robinson. This was the final nail in the coffin of my miserable life- the end! But then clearing out my ex’s cupboard - because he’s don’t clean, so he needs help- I found a 1996 England shirt and i put it on and I thought about that moment you pooed yourself in a match front of thew whole country. I would have died there in that field. But you just carried on. You took it so well. And thats when I knew I could trust you, and when I decided I would give being me, a go. Sorry to bring up your worst moment, but i’m sharing mine with you. So I think thats fair.

After I found a home and got better health I was painting everyday. And I felt like I understood the significance of my life finally- a male painter!! when i saw the significance of my own life, i felt i could see the significance of everyone eles’s too. But a big block for me was imagining anyone with money to buy them- because I dint know anyone that had any. Then I thought of you and Eric Cantona, and I was able to paint whatever I wanted. I often paint footballs and fields in the Midlands. I had my first solo show in your town of Leicester- one of the most multicultural places in the UK. The curator showed me the market stall where you used to work.

Because of how you dealt with going toilet in front of all those big tough men, it was no supposed for me you would speak up for Palestine and against the governments policies. To celebrate your quarter century on Match of The Day, and all the goals you have continued to score for speaking out, I want to gift you a painting. I only gift them to true radicals- people who risk there own freedom for others. David Beckham is extremely stylish and seems good natured but I won’t give him thing.

I also think you should start to read the football scores on your own platform.

Being the best striker of England is a big job and a lot of responsibility. And you are the best. I do hope one day thought the best striker for England can be black- or even worse a raging homosexual. I look forward of the day football is dissolved from nation state, like church was in the last century from the state.

I believe in scoring goals, and I believe soon we are going to have scored so many we will break through the sound barrier. And, though it might sound controversial- I do believe in England. And I believe in humanity.

Love from Dudley

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Side note- The facist died of a heart attack, and my ex still sleeps on the sofa just out of habit.

Digital image drawn during the world cup in 2020 - i forget which one!!!