held together with clothes pins and tension

the newbie!

coppering — Sun, 06 Jan 2013 18:53:56 GMT

Hello loves.

I am currently riding the train on the way back to bradford from london. I had the PLEASURE of meeting up with fangirls yesterday! It was LOVELY. I had to leave rather abruptly though, the person I was staying with sent a super angry message and I basically was rushed back to her house to apologize and shit. I honestly would rather just stay at a hotel! I don't like the way she basically made me feel like a terrible person for not being back in time for dinner. What the heck? I made the plans to stay with her BECAUSE of this meet up and she suddenly made me feel like I was a terrible person for not spending the whole weekend with her. I honestly don't understand people sometimes.

BACK TO THE GOOD STUFF! I got to fangirl about ONE DIRECTION in person and have serious-life-altering-rock-your-world discussions with people that had amazing opinions... I also got a little sad, I can only IMAGINE how amazing it would have been to meet up with these amazing people when supernatural was basically MY ENTIRE LIFE. I still love the fandom, but I haven't really been into this season and I haven't really been drawn into J2 in years.

Anyway, I think I was the only person that was completely new and unknown to anyone! I was so impressed with how lovely and welcoming everyone was. I think people in this fandom place are some of the best people I have ever known. I'm so happy I was lucky enough to meet up with them. I was having a really shitty time over christmas and it was nice to have some time just completely removed from teaching and being stressed and just be an idiot over how much zayn LOVES liam and how much I LOVE LOUIS! All of these thiiiiings are important and deserve to be talked about.

basically it was awesome. I hate that I had to leave early... BUT I hope to come again someday :)

BRIGHTON

coppering — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 18:29:22 GMT

Well. My friends and I rented a car and just drive 6 hours from Bradford to Brighton. We are staying at the stankiest hostel and I kind of hate my life right now. I am feelin super anxious from the drive and I just want to cuddle and feel safe and protected. Ugh.

Okay. So Brighton. Tell me what to do!!!

coppering — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 08:42:00 GMT

This is actually ruining my life.

coppering — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 18:57:54 GMT

THERE IS A TEACHER AT MY SCHOOL WHO IS CALLED JACK AND HE LOOKS LIKE NIALL HORAN AND I WANT HIM TO LOVE ME.

everything else is terrible. EVERYTHING. okay, not terrible BUT I am seriously really close to a mental breakdown and I am just kind of coping by drinking cider and being very emotionally detached.

My hair smells like my musty classroom. My school forgot about myself and the other primary teacher and we were left with NO resources and really just nothing. I still haven't gotten my banking information. Money is running out and I want to CRY.

Other than that? peachy keen. In fact, it could be worse. MUCH WORSE. I know and acknowledge that.

I need to say that you have ALL been so wonderful and supportive and I know that I've been a shit friend for commenting, but I am so thankful that you all exist and just understand that things are tough right now and don't judge me or make me feel terrible... but you just allow me to be ridiculous about one direction and cry tears over harry styles and his lovely face.

I LOVE YOU. I MISS YOU. I WISH YOU LIVED IN MY POCKET!

Sometimes I cry!!!

coppering — Sun, 26 Aug 2012 10:38:44 GMT

Word to the wise: don't respond to an email while listening to sad music when you are feeling lonely. I was just writing my friend a little note and I typed that I missed her and her daughter and I started crying because I realised I won't see them for a year and my other loves I can text and just tell little stories too.

I have been here a week now. I am feeling more settled My roommate had a friend from Scotland visit and he has been lovely! He helped us get a bunch of stuff from Tesco and made us dinner!!! He's a baby though, only 19 years old!! Hah.

Iamfeelingmanyweirdfeelings.

coppering — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 10:32:40 GMT

I leave today. I already have left my home. I went to a wedding last night and I spent my last night in Canada sleeping in a tent trailer in my friends driveway. It's chilly and the sun is coming up and it's kind of perfect.

I am sort of all over the map with emotions. I am SO sad. I am excited. I am WORRIED. I am anxious. I just am not sure how everything is going to work out and that really scares me.

This past week was one of the best ever, I was cocooned with friends and love and well wishes, the best a girl could ask for! Ohmugooooooosh. WHAT IS HAPPENING!? Is this real?

Okay. Early morning freak out complete.

people, places, and THINGS.

coppering — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 13:02:29 GMT

I have been reading a lot of One Direction stuff. It's getting embarrassing. I wouldn't let one of my friends on my phone because it is just chalk-a-block full of dirty stories about boys loving boys.

My life is a strange and wonderful thing.

I have two things that I have read lately that have just ROCKED MY WORLD.

1.Hiding Out in the Kitchen This is a story written by littlemousling
THIS FIC! I started reading it at work yesterday and even though I got home at 1:40 am I had to FINISH IT! It's not a super porny-hot-hot-hot fic (although I really did think that it was hot), but it gave me SO MANY FEELINGS. Harry is in a boy band with liam, niall, and zayn BUT louis is this drama kid who works at little-out-of-the-way coffee shop where harry visits one day. Louis doens't realize who he is and they just hang out.

It's just an interesting push-and-pull as they figure out the relationship and it has some nice insights into the "life of a popstar" (albeit from a fan's perspective). It was just lovely.

2. Intravenous, Intertwined by wordgasmic
This is basically my PERFECT work of fiction. I don't know what it is about playful/not-meaningful/silly boys bugging each other until it starts to be SOMETHING that gets me... but it does. Louis is just horny and bugging harry and this just HAPPEN and it's absolutely perfect.

Okay. That is all for this minute.

The beginning of the end.

coppering — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 04:00:52 GMT

I am currently working my last shift at the movie theatre. I have two hours left. I am just hiding in the hallway of "the dark knight rises" and am feeling a little weird.

I don't think I have really said much about this job. Last november my life got a little strange and I had to move back home and just needed any job I could get. A new movie theatre was opening up and I was basically hired on the spot. This job has been really difficult for me. I am back in the hometown I grew up in, I have had to fce people that were terrible to me growing up and I have has to face them while working and ripping tickets for them. I am usually not a prideful person, but it took me quite a while to stop feeling the need to defend my job and status by stating the other accomplishments that I have had over the ten years I was living away.

I think it was good for me to confront those emotions and I am glad that I had a job to keep myself from drowning in debt. I just am very thankful that I am done here in two hours.

Last night was a pretty amazing night out. I was able to just have fun and relax BUT it was also the beginning of a week of goodbyes. Not only and I going away but I am also starting a new and scary thing and I am just feeling a little lost.

I just hope that I am not making a huge mistake.

ALSO: I am feeling a lot of emotions about one direction performing at the Olympics and I just can't wait to watch the videossssss

coppering — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 17:06:15 GMT

Firstly: I feel the need to apologize for constantly being drunk and disorderly on this journal. I have been drunk a lot the past few weekends. Ugh.

Secondly: yesterday Headly (the terrible Canadian band) performed in my city and then they randomly were at the bar my friends and I were frequenting. My friend Geoff is the bartender there and informed me that my friend Rachel and I were stealing all of the shots they kept buying. I think Headly hates me now. I had no idea they were even the band, we just saw thirty shots and thought (drunkenly),"HELL YES!".

Today has been a tumblr/lounging/one direction fic reading kind of day.

Perfect.

THE SHIP THAT LED TO THIS WHOLE DAMN THING.

coppering — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 13:04:47 GMT

Seriously. In 2004 I was OBSESSED with LOTR (and still love love love that shit) and I was a HUGE dom/lij shipper... and I started this stupid livejournal to troll boards and people that wrote something called Fanfiction. My life has since spiraled down into a hole of boybands/brotherlove/teenwolf/all-of-the-things

SO when THIS showed up on my tumblr I actually made a RIDICULOUS noise and almost started crying.

INTERVIEWER: Are you getting a little homesick?
ELIJAH: Yeah, well I am. It’s very surreal, it’s like watching my family carry on but I also find it incredibly heartwarming and endearing too - [spotting Dominic] Oh shit! Hang on, speaking of family! [x]

I AM WEEPING.

okay. I understand that this is no longer relevant to ANY corners of ANY fandom that I exist in anymore, but I just needed this in my life and on my journal.

coppering — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 03:53:16 GMT

I am very drunk but I just need everyone to know how much I like all of you. Like FOR REAL. YOU are my spirit animals and I think about how grateful I am that this whole world exists and I just want to cry.

THANK YOU!

Sincerely.

my life is over.

coppering — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 18:49:29 GMT

Things I am trying to do:
1. Figure out how to implement Applied Behaviour Analysis in the Classroom. I had an AMAZING breakfast date with a good friend and she works with children on the Autism spectrum and is just SO WISE when it comes to different strategies and concepts with managing behaviours that I was basically soaking in all she said. I know my class is going to be VERY challenging and I'm nervous but having these things to look at and study is helping.

2. Write my "letter of Resignation" for the Movie theatre. Should be a cakewalk, but for some reason it is not.

3. Catch up on teen wolf. (it's a thing in my life)

1. OHBIJOU! If you are not a fan, you really should be.
So lovely right!? so lovely.

2. PICTURES OF J2 from years and years ago. I blame lavishsqualor and her birthday PICSPAM EMAIL that I sent. I sent her pictures of the boys from way back in the day that I had used to LURE her from the talons of Vampire Diaries.
for example:

What the flip? How can I get work done when they are all TAN AND DELICIOUS LOOKING? Life is unfair.

SHOULDERS. unfair. RUDE and unfair.

What the fuck? HOW DARE YOU BE DRUNK AND AWESOME. sometimes I remember and think back to the times around soapbox durby and when they lived together and just HOW I WAS SUCH A TINHAT but not really but seriously but not but YES.

My favourite cap of ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME.

3. AND THEN THERE ARE GOLF PICTURES OF ONE DIRECTION AND LOVELY DRUNKEN HARRY STYLES AND I CAN'T DO THIS YOU GUYS! I honestly can't do this. I spent my afternoon watching their DUMB documentary and just crying at how many emotions I am having over them.

unfair.

HAROLD: YOU NEED TO STOP IT.

his stupid face.

Why does this give me feelings? I love car pics.

\
BRINGING THE PAYNE. seriously. I don't have an answer for this one, it just exists and therefore I must acknowledge it's existence and bask in the glow!

4. BOYS IN WAYFARERS. If I ever were to start a shameless blog (okay, all of my blogging is shameless and completely indefensible.) I would call that blog BOIZ IN WAYFARERSSSSSS and it would consist of my favourite boys in my favourite shades

Adam Scott: I know this one direction stuff is kind of making you less of a priority in my life, but just know that you will always be my number one wayfarer wearer.

My Niall feelings are getting out of hand. I just love this stupid blonde-coiffed-little dude.

I almost forgot about these two beautiful souls.

stop it harold.

There are other things, but I sincerely must write that letter and it's not fair.

I LOVE THE WORLD TODAY AND I WANT TO KISS IT ON THE MOUTH.

all of the pictures come from various places or were hidden in the depths of my computer for years and years, I didn't art any of them

I just said this to my mom.

coppering — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 15:08:32 GMT

nick gets me.

Niall.

coppering — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 21:24:24 GMT

Today has been a Niall state of mind.

I read Come on Over (Frat!Niall/Artist!Zayn)
and I am completely enamoured with the idea of Niall the friggen frat brother that is just carefree and amazing and fun to drink with... and just good things.

Fandom is a good place to be today.

I hate the person I've become.

coppering — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 02:18:45 GMT

I might be recing some One Direction fic. WHAT HAVE I BECOME!? It's like they've just overtaken my brain. I love finding out more and more about them. I love that they are silly and fun and LOVE each other.

ugh.

kill me.

The first one was written by wordgasmic and it is called Competative Nature and basically they start off comparing their manhood and it escalates in a marvelous and wonderfully realistic way. (LOVELY)

I used to read estrella's J2 fic back in the day (heck, I still sometimes go back to old favourites) BUT I was so excited to see she had written a One Direction first time louis/harry and it is PERFECT. See you on the Flip Side is a perfect coming together of friendship and heartache and BOY LOVE.

okay. There are so many more... I will get to those later.

then there is this stupid flirty cheeky boy that just STARES at people with this LOVE in his eyes. I know for sure that in this one, he’s talking to/staring at Caroline Flack. FUCK. stolen from tobuildahornymess whose posts have been filling my afternoon with the BEST reading material ever.

ugh.

coppering — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 21:22:53 GMT

Who the fuck does he think he is looking this damn good?

stolen from
lewispayne tumblr

Hi Friends.

coppering — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 05:01:47 GMT

Okay. Remember that EXCITEMENT over discovering that you loved something so much and there were other people out there that loved it as much as you!? I FEEL THAT RIGHT NOW. I blame: A Field Guide to Spotting Boy Band Babies in the Wild by harriet_vane MIGHT have made me that happiest girl in all the world. It of course spawned into reading TONS of fic (many things found via mediaville's amazing posts AS well as the many amazing comments. ONE DIRECTION IS A SOUL SUCKING THING. I haven't had this many stinking tabs open in a year or longer

oh dear.

coppering — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 20:54:26 GMT

OH SHIT DUDES.

I have fallen into a one direction shaped hole!!! This is ridiculous. I am a teacher and should not find 18 year old boys attractive... right? RIGHT!? ahh.

I have spent the morning reading primers, watching videos, and reading fic. I haven't been this grabbed by ANYTHING since supernatural. OH SHIT SON.

Hello my loves

coppering — Sat, 12 May 2012 00:22:27 GMT

Well. I am 27 now. It feels majorly older than 26. Majorly.

Life is a bit in the balance right now. I am not sure what is happening in the coming year and I am trying to just be okay with that. I have applied for the supply list in my hometown. I am still thinking of moving to England and I am also thinking of going far north. I feel like I want some clear direction but I honestly just need to be adventurous and go.

I have been avoiding people for the past couple months in hope that I will figure myself out, but I just end up feeling very alone. Well. I miss you. You are some of the best of the best. I mean that.

the new giiiiiirl.

coppering — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 02:07:47 GMT

I honestly can not stop loving this show.

What is the most astounding fact.

coppering — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 12:32:12 GMT

I am a little in love with this video... the combination of hearing this whole thing and with this whole song. I know it's travelled around the internet at least three times
I found it over <a href="http://www.geekologie.com/2012/03/neil-degrasse-tysons-most-amazing-fact-i.php">Here</a>

(doesn't cinematic Orchestra just KICK IT in this video? damn sonny.

I have had the longest and worst week. I had to buy a new car (with money that I do not have) but I found a used civic and was able to get it saftied and on the road for under 3000 which I think is a slight win. It's fun to drive because it's CUTE and MANUAL! I think I am going to get drunk in my basement tonight. Just sloppy.

3 glasses of cheap red wine

coppering — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 04:21:23 GMT

This officially owns my soul.

clear eyes. full hearts.

coppering — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 05:51:41 GMT

~~I want all the bacon and eggs that you have.~~

just the greatest

coppering — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 02:05:40 GMT

… And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?” Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

boys boys boys.

coppering — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 21:49:29 GMT

I have a crush on a boy.

He doesn't like me back.

WHY is life so unfair? ugh. I need to start liking boys that like me back, my heart is hurting to much for this bunk.