[Private]
The um smart thing to do would be to leave. But um I think it’s too late for that now. Besides… um I told Ion that I would stay with him. Even if I… even if I die.

I really do like him…

It’s the right thing…

I should call my sisters one last time…
[/Private]

[Private]
This is um the first birthday we haven't spent together.


I'm glad she wasn't here though, I wouldn't want her to get hurt. But I really do miss her.

I um... don't know what to do.
[/Private]

[Filter: Ion]
Um I don't know if you're busy but um I attempted to make a cake and well if you would like to come over or something?

[/Filter: Ion]

[Private]
I um hadn't realized it had almost been a month since the last time I posted. I guess I've been too worried.

Miriam hasn't told me if she is coming or not, I guess I should hope that she isn't, but um not in a rude way. But um I'd rather not have her here where she could get hurt. Not that um I'm in a better spot...

But I can't leave, as long as he's here I can't.
[/Private]

[Private]
Miriam... she um wants to come here. To stay with me. But how... am I supposed to tell her she can't? I can't tell her that a guy just annonounce he was just going to attack something soon because... she's just going to be more worried. But um if I tell her not to come without a reason then um she'll be worried that way as well. And um either way she's going to end up coming.

I... don't know.
[/Private]

It um looks like I'm not the only one who keep forgetting about this... um yes.


Miriam called me again. I've... almost been here for two months. And um our birthday is almost... a month away. She wanted to know um what I wanted for my birthday. Um not that I had an answer anyway...

It um doesn't help to call from Seattle when it's three in the morning. And they wondered why I was grumpy.

[Private]
Although um it was... nice to hear from them.
[/Private]

I've been practicing with cooking skills. And um while I'm still not as good as Miriam I um...

Oh um... wow. I got it to work!

I um tried to make bread in the microwave again. And it... actually came out almost decent. Um... I wonder if I could do it again and have it work.

[Filter: Ion]
Do you um want to come over and watch me try and um end up with me not getting it to work so we could eat something else?
[/Filter: Ion]

I...um hadn't realized it had been so long since I said anything on this. Um... not that I still have anything to say really.

Um... I don't know...

[Filter: Melissa]
You're um doing okay and everything... right?
[/Filter: Melissa]

[Private]
I'm sorry Miriam. I won't leave. I can't. No matter... how bad it gets.


I'm here for him.
[/Private]

Well um... I can always ask my parents for money. Um it's not like I eat much anyway...


[Private]
It's um alright. I was living through this in Hong Kong... so um why am I so scared now?



I... I miss Miriam. And Cheyenne. It's different... um not having them here. They would always be there to comfort me. Well um not so much Cheyenne, but um she was still there for me.

I'm... trying my best. I really am. Considering um all I want to do is be there for him. But um it's hard when he doesn't talk to me all the time.


I um not even sure what else to do. Maybe just being... here, um in Jerusalem is enough? But I don't know...
[/Private]

[Private]
Well um my family is now out of Hong Kong and back in Seattle. I hope um everything is going to be fine for them. Cheyenne would say I worry to much. But um I think it's okay.
[/Private]



Um... I just noticed I have no food. And um very little money. I think um... I should look for a job.

Again...