slashy for science

Somebody else's story

concinnity — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 03:27:32 GMT

So. I have a friend. I chatter about her on twitter a lot, because this is the friend who just midway through last year got into fandom -first Sherlock, then Merlin, now Buffy. And just a few months ago started listening to MCR. She's not...in bandom, really, but she's started putting pictures of Gway's perfect face on her tumblr. And basically all I can do is beam at her all the time, because watching someone fall in love with things is one of the best things in the world. *__*

We live in the lovely town of Austin, Texas, and right now there's this little festival SXSW going on. I'm not saying that is necessarily important to the story, but maybe. We had dinner together last night and she told me the following story:

So yesterday my friend was driving home from downtown, and had MCR's Sing turned up and was singing along at the top of her lungs like you do. She stops at a light, and after a few minutes the passenger window of the full-on dark purple mom's minivan next to her opens up, and a super-hot, super-tricked out black dude leans way way out the window and starts pumping his arms in the air. She rolls down her window and he is singing Sing along with her at the top of his lungs. After a couple of bars, the back windows open up, and four other hot dudes with dreadlocks and awesome outfits hang out the windows, and they all sing along together. My friend has 14 years of voice lessons & performances in her, and she said they all sounded great too.

Full-on MCR car dance party to Sing at one of the long stoplights in Austin. Man I love SXSW. And MCR. Bringing stoplight singalongs together since 2008.
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Online research & publication ethics

concinnity — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 06:13:12 GMT

I've had a lot of interaction with online research and ethics today. The first thing that happened is that a visiting academic (whose work I quite like), upon learning that I'm in fandom, asked with casual disregard "Oh, do you do ethnographic research? I mean, do you go to cons and talk to people?".

I tried to keep my face in some semblance of a polite expression, but I'm not at all sure I was successful. :[

"Well, I'm a fan," I said. "So I go to cons. And I talk to people. As a fan. I self-identify as a fan." And she was a bit surprised and then there was an actual little ripple around our group of 10 or so people that were having the conversation. As it turns out, the scholar in question works down the hall from a big-name academic who did some fandom ethnographies back in the late 80s-early 90s, so their question wasn't out of left field. But the level of surprise she expressed when I outed myself? Wow.

I am fiercely fucking protective of fandom. We are not fucking lab rats. I support decent fucking academic inquiry but I was just...a little shocked that this would be the question someone would ask in this century. Didn't we leave that attitude behind in the 1990s???

And just now, a friend contacted me "as an internet expert" because a friend of her's has just discovered that their (public) tumblr & blog has become the subject of someone's dissertation.

Like. Someone at a major university is writing their dissertation on this other person's public journal. Now, on the one hand, as I told my friend - public is public is public. If you put it out there in the world, it is more or less fair game. On the other hand, using so much of someone's work without their consent is really shitty.

The kind, polite, and fucking ethical thing to do is to ask permission. And not to continue without it.

Kyle Stedman wrote about this recently when he did a fandom research project, and summarized the matter rather neatly, imo. He says:

"Researching fan activities is something to enter carefully, with the highest respect for the fans participating in research. The guidelines offered in recent scholarship on digital writing research (McKee and DeVoss, 2007 and McKee and Porter, 2008) have done much to alert researchers in rhetoric and composition to the complexities of online writing research, including the importance of treating sensitive and private information with the respect implicit in the full informed consent process, even when the researcher is accessing information that is publicly available online. A central concept in much of this work is that it is sometimes the ethical responsibility of researchers to step back and not practice all of the rights that they may have been granted by their university's Institutional Review Board, or their professional organization's guidelines for ethical research. In the world of fan studies, I’ve found that researchers should often take even more steps back, proceeding with the caution necessary when discussing practices that some in the wider culture see as unhealthy, aberrant, or unnaturally geeky."

I agree with him, and think this should be the case not only for fandom but for all internet research. You're dealing with real people; acknowledge it.

In the case of my friend's friend, their blog is public, but deals with private feelings, and operates as a support network core for a group of people (who also have public tumblrs & blogs) dealing with emotional & physical trauma. To become the subject of someone else's research without their consent is in some ways compounding/reinscribing the trauma they are already dealing with on a day to day basis.

So there are a few aspects of this making me post about it here:

1. One part of all of this that makes my friend's friend's (wow, that phrasing is not getting less awkward with use) experience relevant to fandom is of course the current discussion about online privacy, the fourth wall, and the current reporting that's going on about fandom. Not only in the Daily Dot, but everywhere. Fandom is public in a way it just wasn't even five years ago. I'm probably preaching to the choir given my flist, but...imo there's a difference between legal and ethical, and between legal and good manners.

2.. Another part that is that like many people online, zie is using a pseudonym. And like many people online, it isn't that hard to connect the dots back to the real person using it. That is, the research being conducted on the person's public blog could (potentially) have an adverse affect on their real life.

3. I thought I'd ask here, since I do know so many academics, and hope they might read this despite my own extended silence in these spaces - does my friend's friend have recourse here? My own thoughts were:
a. that the researcher in question might need IRB approval for their work
b. that the friend should express their objection to being studied loudly and clearly in their blog
c. that zie could/should contact the researcher directly, and their advisor and express their non-consent to being studied. And escalate to the department chair and so on if zie doesn't get the response they want. I know that in my own university that if this kind of objection was raised, the scholar doing the work would be strongly discouraged from doing it. But I don't know if that is the case everywhere.

I've had a real week of it, and I'm tired and frustrated and defensive of my own work and the communities and spaces I care about. I'm not in the best space to be thinking about all of this. :-\ What do *you* think about it?
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/57861.html. Comment wherever you like.

2012 Show round-up!

concinnity — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 01:28:40 GMT

I only went to ten shows in 2012 (I think), but most of them were GREAT, and I learned some things from the rest of them

The top show of the year for me was th JJAMZ/Penguin Prison/Neon Trees show, i

n part because it was on my birthday! It was also exactly the right kind of music for my mood - poppy, happy, and just a little aggressive. JJAMZ was far better than I expected them to be (to be fair, I only knew of them through fic), and their dreamy lyrics over a really solid pop delivery made me buy their record. Zberg was charming, and seemed to be genuinely pleased that I'd come to their show for my birthday. :) She wrote a sweet birthday message on my cd cover and took a nice picture.

The Neon Tree ere everywhere this year. There were literally times this fall when I would go through five stations on my radio and each of them would be playing a Neon Trees song. At least locally, they were in direct competition with Fun. for the most listeners. A lot of people have trouble with the band's conservative politics (I'd call Tyler's troubled rather than conservative, myself), but their live show is great. They gave a really dynamic performance, and holding Tylers skinny little thighs up when he crowd-surfed made me really happy. They seemed like they were having such a great time in their performance, too, even though they were missing their regular drummer. I was glad I got to see them in our tiny little venue, especially after they picked up larger and larger shows throughout the rest of the year.

After that, I think the Empires/Mona show & Ben Sollee were tied for me.

The Empires show was made especially great because that is where I incepted myself into being friends with the lovely, lovel girlpearl melusina amp; mercurial_girl. Empires blew me away with their energy, gritty aesthetic and powerful hooks. I've been listening t Garage Hymns pretty consistently since the show. I liked Mona, too, although I didn't buy their music.

Ben Sollee is a very different sound. I didn't know anything about him other than my friend really liked him, and he played a cello. This venue was especially small - only seating a couple of hundred people - and we were in the third row. The result was that the concert felt like being told the life story of a very smart, very sensitive man via song and cello. It was fantastic and I smiled all the way through it, even the sad songs. Ben is an independent artist - I recommend buying his albums if you can! He's very political and puts his mouth where his money is - he literally bikes to all regionally-accessible shows because of his belief in energy policies. Again, it was the kind of show I wanted at just the right moment.

Then Ume & The Toadies!!!! I spread the word of Ume so much that even people who barely know me are like, "aren't you the person who likes Ume?". Ume is a stripped down rock trio fronted by Lauren Larson on lead guitar and vocals. Her husband Eric plays bass, and they...cycle through drummers and keyboardists, although Jeff Berrara has been on drums for awhile now. Hopefully he'll stick. Conductor was my comfort music for a few months this year. They're known for a thrashing live show. My friend who went with me called them heavy metal, but I'd go with more hard rock. *shrug* I am very hopefully seeing them again tonight, which will be my third time. Well worth the time and money.

They were supporting The Toadies on their tour last year. I know you're thinking "The Toadies (yawn)." I had low expectations, and their show fucking rocked. They really bring it, and I didn't mind standing in the cold/thrashing around against large dude bros for them.

I saw the very entertaining Foxy Shazam wit girlpearl amp melusina s well! This band gives a lot of people the motts, but I sort of loved everything about their show. Eric Nally, the lead vocalist, goes balls out in his performance. You know what makes a good show? When the trumpet player in your band sticks his arm out at 90 degrees, and you twirl yourself over it in a flip as if it were a gymnast's bar. That and very, very tight pants and an equally tight sense of humor. Nothing but good times. They were supporting Slash, by the way. He is still alive. The band he's touring with is super-boring, but it only took one guitar solo for the 8 year old inside me to regain her fannishness for Slash. I told my 8 year old self to shut up after awhile though. There's no way I could make it through a full set.

I saw Timber Timbre and Feist in the heat of the summer. I'd call Timber Timbre listenable. Feist was ...just delightful. She bantered a lot with the crowd, and my take away was that she is smart and charming. I was only familiar with a few of her songs before the show, and I wish I'd known them better going in. I was surrounded by people for whom this was obviously the show of their year - people who knew every word to every song, and openly clung to each other and cried during some of them. Metals was a significant part of my writing music through the fall.

I also wish I'd been more familiar with both Jukebox the Ghost and Motion City Soundtrack when I went to their show. At the time I tweeted that Jukebox the Ghost was charming as fuck, and they kept it up the whole time. If you like Passion Pit or the Temper Trap but sometimes wish they were more pop, Jukebox the Ghost is for you. I saw this show at the same tiny venue that I saw Neon Trees and there was definitely a different atmosphere. The Neon Trees was packed and bouncing. This show had a much smaller audience, but almost everyone there was obviously a huge fan of MCS. I didn't quite get it, but maybe it wasn't the right show for me at the time.

The honorable mentions go to The Whiskey Shivers and The Bright Light Social Hour, both local favorites. The Whiskey Shivers I think I would have enjoyed a lot more on a different day; who doesn't like bluegrass?! The Bright Light Social Hour is a jam band. I needed chemical assistance to get through their 13-minute-long songs.

The last show of the year for me was The Mountain Goats. I like them lots and listen to them at home; John Darnielle is a great follow on Twitter. This show was notable for me, too, as there were multiple my-town fan people melusina amp girlpearl along with mercurial_girl, who joined us for dinner beforehand but couldn't make the show) , an sundancekid nd one of her friends (love you all!) as well as a few friends of mine for school. I had lots of fun blowing off the boring opening acts to talk about Teen Wolf and other live music with all of them. What I didn't anticipate, though, is that the show came with a trigger warning. I mean. I kow better. It's the Mountain Goats. And yet listening to John sing about being really glad his childhood abuser was dead turned out to be a bit too much for me live. Combined with the end-of-term stress and the late hour of the show, I had to leave early. Lesson learned = practice good self-care when going to shows.

And that's it! I'm hoping to hit a few more this year. If I can brave the 40F+rain tonight I'll go see Ume again. Next week is tentatively either The Riverboat Gamblers or A Silent Film. And then mid-month is Ed Sheeran nd February will take me to Fun. and Morrissey on back to back nights.

\o/ MUSIC

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I only went to ten shows in 2012 (I think), but most of them were GREAT, and I learned some things from the rest of them The top show of the year for me was th JJAMZ/Penguin Prison/Neon Trees show, i<lj-cut>n part because it was on my birthday! It was also exactly the right kind of music for my mood - poppy, happy, and just a little aggressive. <a href="http://jjamzmusic.com/video-2/">JJAMZ </a>was far better than I expected them to be (to be fair, I only knew of them through fic), and their dreamy lyrics over a really solid pop delivery made me buy their record. Zberg was charming, and seemed to be genuinely pleased that I'd come to their show for my birthday. :) She wrote a sweet birthday message on my cd cover and took a nice picture. 

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YjxOIx34Dm4">The Neon Tree </a> ere everywhere this year. There were literally times this fall when I would go through five stations on my radio and each of them would be playing a Neon Trees song. At least locally, they were in direct competition with Fun. for the most listeners. A lot of people have trouble with the band's conservative politics (I'd call Tyler's troubled rather than conservative, myself), but their live show is great. They gave a really dynamic performance, and holding Tylers skinny little thighs up when he crowd-surfed made me really happy. They seemed like they were having such a great time in their performance, too, even though they were missing their regular drummer. I was glad I got to see them in our tiny little venue, especially after they picked up larger and larger shows throughout the rest of the year.

After that, I think the Empires/Mona show & Ben Sollee were tied for me.

The Empires show was made especially great because that is where I incepted myself into being friends with the lovely, lovel <a href="http://girlpearl.dreamwidth.org/profile"><img alt="[personal profile] " height="17" src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png" style="vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;" width="17" /></a><a href="http://girlpearl.dreamwidth.org/">girlpearl</a>  <a href="http://melusina.dreamwidth.org/profile"><img alt="[personal profile] " height="17" src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png" style="vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;" width="17" /></a><a href="http://melusina.dreamwidth.org/">melusina</a> amp; mercurial_girl. Empires blew me away with their energy, gritty aesthetic and powerful hooks. I've been listening t <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7k3jCCtHlE&list=PLmv9k7f26B0AEPsRzCcFtj7hhFdh3Z2IU&index=11">Garage Hymns</a> pretty consistently since the show. I liked <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YVY3JYgWHs">Mona</a>, too, although I didn't buy their music.

<a href="http://bensollee.com">Ben Sollee</a> is a very different sound. I didn't know anything about him other than my friend really liked him, and he played a cello. This venue was especially small - only seating a couple of hundred people - and we were in the third row. The result was that the concert felt like being told the life story of a very smart, very sensitive man via song and cello. It was fantastic and I smiled all the way through it, even the sad songs. Ben is an independent artist - I recommend buying his albums if you can! He's very political and puts his mouth where his money is - he literally bikes to all regionally-accessible shows because of his belief in energy policies. Again, it was the kind of show I wanted at just the right moment. 

Then <a href="http://www.myspace.com/umemusic">Ume</a> & The Toadies!!!! I spread the word of Ume so much that even people who barely know me are like, "aren't you the person who likes Ume?".  Ume is a stripped down rock trio fronted by Lauren Larson on lead guitar and vocals. Her husband Eric plays bass, and they...cycle through drummers and keyboardists, although Jeff Berrara has been on drums for awhile now. Hopefully he'll stick. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mfB0X0-E-c">Conductor </a>was my comfort music for a few months this year. They're known for a thrashing live show. My friend who went with me called them heavy metal, but I'd go with more hard rock. *shrug* I am very hopefully seeing them again tonight, which will be my third time. Well worth the time and money.

They were supporting <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8vOA3d04kI">The Toadies</a> on their tour last year. I know you're thinking "The Toadies (yawn)." I had low expectations, and their show fucking rocked. They really bring it, and I didn't mind standing in the cold/thrashing around against large dude bros for them. 

I saw the very entertaining <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFt3OqmGSbI">Foxy Shazam </a>wit <a href="http://girlpearl.dreamwidth.org/profile"><img alt="[personal profile] " height="17" src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png" style="vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;" width="17" /></a><a href="http://girlpearl.dreamwidth.org/">girlpearl</a> amp <a href="http://melusina.dreamwidth.org/profile"><img alt="[personal profile] " height="17" src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png" style="vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;" width="17" /></a><a href="http://melusina.dreamwidth.org/">melusina</a> s well! This band gives a lot of people the motts, but I sort of loved everything about their show. Eric Nally, the lead vocalist, goes balls out in his performance. You know what makes a good show? When the trumpet player in your band sticks his arm out at 90 degrees, and you twirl yourself over it in a flip as if it were a gymnast's bar. That and very, very tight pants and an equally tight sense of humor. Nothing but good times. They were supporting <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtGj0iKrpuI&list=UU6WCQjfkWnDWvFfw_YDrq5g&index=1">Slash</a>, by the way. He is still alive. The band he's touring with is super-boring, but it only took one guitar solo for the 8 year old inside me to regain her fannishness for Slash. I told my 8 year old self to shut up after awhile though. There's no way I could make it through a full set.

I saw <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsuQUP1lfDA">Timber Timbre</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh7NcYILxRs">Feist </a>in the heat of the summer. I'd call Timber Timbre listenable. Feist was ...just delightful. She bantered a lot with the crowd, and my take away was that she is smart and charming. I was only familiar with a few of her songs before the show, and I wish I'd known them better going in. I was surrounded by people for whom this was obviously the show of their year - people who knew every word to every song, and openly clung to each other and cried during some of them. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Zf8Tyda_QU&playnext=1&list=PLD281791502E3A921&feature=results_main">Metals </a>was a significant part of my writing music through the fall.

I also wish I'd been more familiar with both<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL0KFczy2Rw"> Jukebox the Ghost</a> and<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SY-c-_sZ8LI"> Motion City Soundtrack</a> when I went to their show. At the time I tweeted that Jukebox the Ghost was charming as fuck, and they kept it up the whole time. If you like Passion Pit or the Temper Trap but sometimes wish they were more pop, Jukebox the Ghost is for you. I saw this show at the same tiny venue that I saw Neon Trees and there was definitely a different atmosphere. The Neon Trees was packed and bouncing. This show had a much smaller audience, but almost everyone there was obviously a huge fan of MCS. I didn't quite get it, but maybe it wasn't the right show for me at the time.

The honorable mentions go to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wC6DuckeJUM">The Whiskey Shivers</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVQXnyRi7IY">The Bright Light Social Hour</a>, both local favorites. The Whiskey Shivers I think I would have enjoyed a lot more on a different day; who doesn't like bluegrass?! The Bright Light Social Hour is a jam band. I needed chemical assistance to get through their 13-minute-long songs. 

The last show of the year for me was <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii6kJaGiRaI">The Mountain Goats</a>. I like them lots and listen to them at home; John Darnielle is a great follow on Twitter. This show was notable for me, too, as there were multiple my-town fan people <a href="http://melusina.dreamwidth.org/profile"><img alt="[personal profile] " height="17" src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png" style="vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;" width="17" /></a><a href="http://melusina.dreamwidth.org/">melusina</a> amp <a href="http://girlpearl.dreamwidth.org/profile"><img alt="[personal profile] " height="17" src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png" style="vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;" width="17" /></a><a href="http://girlpearl.dreamwidth.org/">girlpearl</a> along with mercurial_girl, who joined us for dinner beforehand but couldn't make the show) , an <a href="http://sundancekid.dreamwidth.org/profile"><img alt="[personal profile] " height="17" src="http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png" style="vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;" width="17" /></a><a href="http://sundancekid.dreamwidth.org/">sundancekid</a> nd one of her friends (love you all!) as well as a few friends of mine for school. I had lots of fun blowing off the boring opening acts to talk about Teen Wolf and other live music with all of them. What I didn't anticipate, though, is that the show came with a trigger warning. I mean. I kow better. It's the Mountain Goats. And yet listening to John sing about being really glad his childhood abuser was dead turned out to be a bit too much for me live. Combined with the end-of-term stress and the late hour of the show, I had to leave early. Lesson learned = practice good self-care when going to shows.</lj-cut>

And that's it! I'm hoping to hit a few more this year. If I can brave the 40F+rain tonight I'll go see Ume again. Next week is tentatively either The <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfUow7hswDc">Riverboat Gamblers</a> or <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M63EHS6yrO0">A Silent Film</a>. And then mid-month is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOjdXSrtUxA">Ed Sheeran</a> nd February will take me to<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIoaiTwLk6I"> Fun.</a> and<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx6W6qTffoI"> Morrissey</a> on back to back nights.

\o/ MUSIC
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This entry was originally posted at <a href="http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/57504.html">http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/57504.html</a>. Comment wherever you like.

Holiday cards!

concinnity — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:24:58 GMT

Dear fandom friends-

This year for the holidays I'm celebrating by doing only and exactly what I want, and as a result am full of love and the holiday spirit. Spreading the joy around would make me really happy! Drop me a line at toconcinnity at gmail if you'd like one. I'm a bit late this year, so friends who live on the other side of the ocean, yours might not arrive til the new year.

<33333
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Oh, internets

concinnity — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 08:06:12 GMT

Several months ago, a friend of mine happened upon Tumblr. And from happening upon to having six or eight or ten tumblrs was a span of oh, say, a week and a half.

She's on Facebook, tweets occasionally, used Napster like every good person of her generation, but she wasn't, you know. An internet person.

At the time I was resisting Tumblr because I already had plenty of social media outlets thanks have you not noticed I am wearing a My Little Ponies of the Apocalypse tshirt right this minute.

She decided this was simply crazy talk and started me a tumblr of my very own. And several times a week, she would put things on it that she thought I would like.

It is, basically, one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Nine months in and she's still posting things that make me incontrollably hurl out noises only audible to dogs and dolphins.

So today I was sad and so I went to my own personal tumblr that she made for me to persuade me that tumblr was awesome, because that is what I do now, when I'm sad - I go to the one place on the internet that is full of guaranteed joy - and reflected upon how the internet changes a person.

My friend is very stylish- she's Southern finished in NYC and marinated in queer feminist theory. Her outfits are always outstanding. But her home decorating icon is Martha Stewart. When she started my tumblr she spent a lot of time tweaking the HTML and even dipping her toe into the heady waters of CSS so that she could get just the right font style/color/placement.

And I mean a lot of time. Martha Stewart doesn't fuck around with design. My friend took my tumblr decorating seriously. Along the way, though, my friend fell into fandom. She watched all of Sherlock (BBC) because Tumblr wouldn't stop going on about it. And then she wanted more. She needed MORE SHERLOCK. Another fandom friend and I cautiously pushed a couple of Sherlock fics at her, and that was all it took. She's got an Ao3 account. She created a Sherlock tumblr. She read all of a certain kind of Sherlock fic and then omg RPF. It was a thing. We had many long conversations about ethics and fiction and the role of the White Dudes Having Adventures and Why That Is Problematic. She found fan vids.

We shoved some Merlin fic at her and then she watched most of Merlin. She started watching Buffy a couple of weeks ago because Tumblr told her to. We spend a lot of time making high-pitched noises at each other and flapping our hands. It's grand.

Over time, too, my tumblr layout has changed. It's gone from sedate Martha Stewart the exact fucking french blue font to a slightly less sedate font to (over time, and rather memorably) florescent pink with yellow sparkly letters, then back to a butter color, then coral, and so on.

Right now, my friends, the banner is happy penises, and the background is a set of colorful swirling hedge hogs. Yes, that happy penis. The one drawn in response to the "Why do people describe cocks as cute little animals" tumblr query. Inexplicably, the text immediately under the series of happy penises is "MEOW" in all caps. I'm 90% sure she designed the banner herself.

She's become an internet person. *sniff*

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I made a thing!

concinnity — Sat, 06 Oct 2012 02:05:09 GMT

Woo! I signed up for the I made a thing fest!

banner by lunate8 from an image by flickr user Sailor Coruscant
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Seriously?

concinnity — Fri, 05 Oct 2012 22:08:26 GMT

So, I live in a lovely bubble. All of my friends - male and female - are ardent feminists. Offline and on, they argue for, demand, and make women visible, known, present through their crafts and through their being-in-the-world. I'm really fortunate that this is the case, and every term I teach, I'm frustrated that I have to explain what feminism is to my students, and that even the best of them will often say, "Oh, I wouldn't call myself a feminist."

This afternoon I was talking to a colleague about her work, which is on depictions of black women's anger in drama, and she mentioned some recent criticism of A Raisin in the Sun, which is a play (later musical & film) by Lorraine Hansbury. The article she was reading said that one of the main characters was spoiled, petulant, and not a good or deserving member of her family.

This doesn't seem like that big of a deal, really, except that isn't how literary criticism *works*. I'm a little sensitive about it, since English is my field, but one just doesn't say - "this is a good character, this is a bad character." In general, we don't view fictional characters as role models or someone that should be providing a life lesson to the audience. Because, you know, this isn't 1860. Or even 1960. We tend to talk about what a character does in a story, and how that's interesting. Not that it is good or bad.

But no, here it is:

"Critics have praised Beneatha as sassy, savvy, knowledgeable, and college educated. Yet, it is noteworthy that while Mama and Walter, it can be argued, progress and develop as characters in the play, Beneatha, in the directorial parenthetical notes, is just where she was at the beginning of the play, petulant and argumentative. The note tells us that she responds “Angrily, precisely as in the first scene of the play” when she yells at Walter, “What have you got to do with who I marry!”(150). Catered to by her family, Beneatha, even as an outspoken woman who represents what the future may hold for black society and education, is spoiled and indulgent" (19).

The article goes on to say that when Beneatha isn't thrilled about another character's pregnancy, that her reaction - concern over how they were going to feed and house another mouth in their poor family - "isn't normal"(14), and that her college education only helps her "to insult her family members, to indulge her whimsical fancies, and to incite rifts within her family rather than to build bridges to understanding" (6).

I'm playing some out of context theater, but the article also links the Beneatha to the author: "....Hansberry describes Beneatha

in this way: “[Walter Lee’s] kid sister Beneatha—she’s a mess. She’s me eight years ago. I had a ball poking fun at myself through her. A precocious young female, very outspoken, way out. Says things like ‘There is no God, momma. Shut up.’ I never dreamed of being a doctor like Beneatha, but I don’t disagree with anything she says” (X3). It is clear by this description that Hansberry’s authorial feelings toward

Beneatha are favorable and sympathetic..." (4).

What is troubling about this article, then, is that in its attempt to give a strong black female character in a very famous play a solid critical reading, it essentially criticizes the character and the author for being too selfish, too proud, too angry, and not enough of a peacemaker within her own family.

....And this article was published in 2007. 2007! SEVEN. Within the last five years. This is considered acceptable scholarship??? Lemme tell you what, this kind of action just doesn't happen when people are talking about fucking Faulkner. Or James Joyce. Or fucking Shakespeare. But apparently it still flies if you're talking about people of color, and especially if they're ladies.

And this is why we need feminism. Because this is as far as we've gotten, even with scholars who are *trying really hard*. I don't know Rachelle Gould, the author of this article, at all. But I'm willing to bet that she'd describe herself as a feminist and as someone very interested in race politics, if only because she's got an essay in _Reading Contemporary African American Drama_.

Which means it is a systemic problem. *bangs head on desk*

This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/56314.html. Comment wherever you like.

the brown stocking

concinnity — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 00:16:44 GMT

"...but then at home, she had said, 'the mountains are so beautiful.' Her father was dying there, Mrs. Ramsay knew. He was leaving them fatherless. Scolding and demonstrating (how to make a bed, how to open a window, with hands that shut and spread like a Frenchwoman's) all had folded itself quietly about her, when the girl spoke, as, after a flight through the sunshine the wings of a bird fold themselves quietly and the blue of its plumage changes from bright steel to soft purple. She had stood there silent for there was nothing to be said. He had cancer of the throat."
- To the Lighthouse

I love this passage so much, one of my favorite sections of one of my favorite novels. I just read it this morning, actually, and tonight - just now - I got the news that my dad has throat cancer. This is right up the road from where I grew up:

Cancer treatment has come a long way since 1927. There's a really good chance - about 65%! - that my dad won't die too much sooner than he would anyway. But he has a terrible health history already, and he's been so sick these last months, and I want him to know he can be well and happy - and it just isn't going to happen anytime soon. Damnit.

This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/56046.html. Comment wherever you like.

waves

concinnity — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 04:18:18 GMT

I feel as though this comic more or less sums up my fannish life for the last year or so. Still, I like feel like I'm inching my way back in. :) I'm on Twitter a lot these days, and I've been reading tons of fic. My pinboard has gotten a lot of action, and I'm tumbling all the things (mostly teen wolves and gerard fucking way, tbh) . I'm all registered for Wincon, which will be my first fan-only con, and the first conference I've been to that I'm not presenting at. I'm super excited about it! Is anyone else going?

Oh, and I'm also following the cotton-candy bingo, which is all fluff and sunshine and rainbows - no really, they have a bingo square marked sunshine and one marked rainbows - and it is delightful.

I'm consuming all the medias: I still have ~feelings~ about Scott and non-con in TW, which will hopefully turn into a real post someday. I'm watching Suits in almost-real time - I'm only a week or so behind, thanks to fleete , and am engaging in a total re-watch of SPN. I've just started season 4, and wow, Cas. There's a reason his entry is so iconic. I'm really looking forward to the rest. Tumblr is making me watch all the stuff I meant to watch before and never got around to, like Whip It, which I just saw for the first time last week. :D And I'm working my way slowly through Mass Effect 3, so glad to see Garrus again! Apparently for 3 I want to be a big damn hero, because I'm Paragoning like my life depends on it, when I've been 50-50 up til now with my primary character (soldier fem!shep).

Musically I'm basically all Small Petunia of the Galaxy, all the time. Except that I am absolutely fucking obsessed with Azealia Banks; I bought the EP the other day and have been playing 212 non-stop. It is ammmmaaaaaaaazing omg. I just got distracted and watched the video again.

Otherwise, work is going okay, which is nice. I've started my fellowship for school, which means I don't have to teach for a couple of months - a whole term and a half! This is the first time since I started graduate school that I haven't had outside teaching responsibilities on top of my own research, and wow. Only having to think about your own work is...pretty incredible, to be honest. I've gotten so much work done I don't know what to do with myself. Its been a bit weird, setting my own schedule, and the result has been that I only work a few hours a day. I spend the rest of the day...on twitter, to be honest. I'd feel guilty except that in those few hours I manage to get pages and pages written, so. \o? Also, my advisors went on their own research leaves over the summer. We'll see how things go when the term starts up in a couple of weeks. O_o

In other other news, last week I got excited because I managed to read my flist twice. Its a work in progress.

ETA: In other recent news that has kept me awayfromthefandoms: I had a bee infestation in my apartment, which was, um, not the greatest few weeks of my life, because the buzzing was ongoing and deeply unsettling. And also my mother's father died, so there was travel for the funeral and also a lot of feelings. My mom and her dad didn't get along at all, and I primarily remember him as the person who taught me what racial slurs were (by using them). It is strange to think it is quite likely I'll never see that whole part of my family again, that my brother, my mom and dad & I have isolated ourselves so definitely from the rest of them.
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/55190.html. Comment wherever you like.

The story of my life

concinnity — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 05:38:32 GMT

I have a long post in the works about my Teen Wolf feelings, but instead: birthday-related shenanigans!

Among the many wonderful gifts I got for my birthday a couple of weeks ago (which were mostly time-with-the-people-I-love related, the best kind of gift), I also received a t-shirt and pin from a friend who is a little unclear as to what exactly I *do* in my research, but knows what I talk about the most when we get together.

She gave me a little "I <3 PORN" pin and a t-shirt with two unicorns humping under a rainbow on it. It fits perfectly (tight). When she gave it to me, she asked if I would actually wear it, and I was like. "Dude. First date material." I was only kind of joking.

So I wore it today because I woke up late, cranky and tired after a late night last night and it is actually super-soft. I was taking my dog outside when a really tall flappy-haired dude walked past me, did a double take, and said, "Is that what I think it is on your shirt?" I was like, :D :D :D YES IT IS. :D

He said, "That is so great! Where did you get that?! I gotta get one for the bassist in my band, that dude LOVES unicorns!"

So today I learned that apparently bassists+unicorns=OTP.

Btw, the pin is stuck on my handbag, and if you get a chance to see Empires, you should go, because they have a tight little show they put on.
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/54891.html. Comment wherever you like.

What I'm drinking, Thursday edition

concinnity — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 03:31:57 GMT

Man, I need a drinking icon liek whoah. Anyway. Hello, gentle flist! I miss you! I've been busy. On Sunday I turned in my first shitty draft of my first dissertation chapter. \o/ The work has been going well, but it has kept my brain pretty occupied, and I've been pretty exhausted as a result. And my $job was going through an upswing as well, which just meant tons of email and hours of attention.

Monday, though, I got in a car and drove for 9 hours. Tuesday I got up and drove 12 more hours. With my trusty pooch (baby photo in icon!), some great podfic, and only one stop at a car repair shop, the long trip was just what I needed to clear out the cobwebs a bit. Sunsets over desert mountains are not to be missed.

So now I've been safely hanging out with my brother, his wife, and their incredibly cute 2 year old son for a few days. The dogs get on well, and we had a great 4th of July celebration with our friends on this side of the country. It is great to be here with them; we don't get to see enough of each other.

Among the other things they've given me, today's gift was a nice bottle of Damrak gin. I posted a few months back about Ransom's Old Tom Gin, and Damrak is somewhere between Ransom's and Bombay Sapphire. A significantly lighter drink than the Ransom's, but with the same cardamom, cinnamon, anise and cedar flavors it has, with a splash more juniper and citrus.

Basically, it is perfect for summer drinks. They also picked up some artisanal tonic water, which is apparently the big thing right now. I've tried both Fever-Tree and Q tonic, and now I'm spoiled. They both have a much lighter flavor than the Canada Dry I've been using for ages, and a smaller, more consistent bubble. As it turns out high-fructose corn syrup, even in tonic water, still tastes unpleasant compared to the real stuff.

In other words, although I've been happy with my turns through margaritas, lemon drops, and especially Pimm's cups this summer, it seems like Damrak+fancy tonic = my hot summer night drink of choice.
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/54512.html. Comment wherever you like.

Check your privilege

concinnity — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 03:52:41 GMT

If you're reading this, you might recall that I work in academia. I also live in one of the most liberal cities in the United States. Just now, as I was reading through my flist for the first time in a week or two (sorry, ilu all, it has been busy), I came across this interesting post by [Unknown LJ tag] in which zie talks a bit about the concept of the freebie in fic, "the one suspension of disbelief on the part of the readers that the author doesn't have to work for." In fandom, as jedasuar notes, the freebie is usually homosexuality/queerness. I was nodding right along, until one of the commenters said that, living in country wherein homosexuality was *thisclose* to being criminalized again, zie had to really think to get to the "freebie" part.

Jedasaur responded that "We're all clear--hopefully--on the fact that the characters we write about are fictional, and god knows we already write them to be more interesting than they are in reality; why not idealize them in other ways as well?"

And then I had to take a minute and think about my privilege. Because. Here's the deal. I pretty much live in that idealized world. I bitch about my gossipy co-workers occasionally, and how hard my life is, but in general - and for real - that's where I live. Surrounded by people who would never dream of fat-shaming, of slut-shaming, of shaming anything at all. Who are supportive of your straight/queer/lbgtq/questioning status. Who don't care if you never date, might be asexual, or are in an open relationship or any combination thereof. Who will change pronouns for you the instant you ask, not blink an eye, and judge the FUCK out of anyone who doesn't do the same. In the list of usual "idealized world" fan fiction tropes (not including werewolves and so on), as far as I know the only ones we don't have are male crossdressing and permanent polyamory, and I honestly think it is only a matter of time, especially for the latter.

And because I live here, I'm surrounded by this environment, I sometimes forget how very very very unusual it is.

I'm more than a bit embarrassed, and grateful again to fandom for reminding me I should be.
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/54200.html. Comment wherever you like.

"Loss and betrayal are not punctual events"

concinnity — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:40:34 GMT

I'm in a space right now where I'm working really hard and a bit frantically on some writing for school. It is hard, challenging, exhausting and exhilarating work. Not at all coincidentally, I'm working pretty hard at growing as a person as well. An acquaintance of mine said it best last year, I think: when asked what she was working on, she casually said, "Me-search, like we all do." and then she laughed, self-mocking, as she took another drag on her cigarette.

She was right, though. And the more I ask other phd students what they're working on, the more it seems true. We dig and dig at certain ideas because we find them fascinating, even though - perhaps mostly because - we can't quite figure out why.

Right along side this investigation, this driving curiosity about something, seems to come depression and anxiety. The connection between depression, anxiety, and graduate school is fairly well documented. I've seen statistics on depressed grad students from as low as 67% to as high as 88%. That low number isn't actually very low, especially when compared to the general population in the same age and economic groups. It is unclear, however, whether people who are more prone to depression and anxiety are drawn to graduate school, or if the system itself is the cause.

My best guess is that doing a lot of digging into the stuff that fascinates you means that by default you do a lot of personal growing stuff. Which, you know. I've got some things I'd prefer not to look at in my psyche. I'm not alone. In my immediate friend group of say 20-ish people that I see frequently, 97% of them are in regular therapy and/or on medication to help. The remaining people have obvious, explicitly self-harming coping behaviors. From talking with them about *their* circles of friends, this is pretty average for our R1 university.

With that said, we're mostly a pretty happy group, and I think it is because as a group we're open about our struggles in a way that is sometimes hard to come by in the larger world.

All of that was to say that after talking to a friend who works in a related field about this yesterday, she sent me the following quotes, which I'm posting here because I want to hang on to them.

Let me say one more thing about embodiment and political depression. In the book I’ve just finished, I tried to think about depression as the residue of long-term histories of violence. I think of our bodies as this site of weight-bearing. If you think of yourself as a sensory body who is feeling the atmosphere around you when you are connecting with people in a room, sometimes you carry their heavy energy as much as you are buoyed up by their joyous energy. We are a sensitive interface with the world. We are carrying historical residues, collective residues. I’ve been thinking about racism and sexism and homophobia as these things we are carrying in our bodies from previous generations, whether from our families, our own experiences, or the fact that the world that we live in is physically shaped by histories of violence. You can choose to open yourself up to feeling that. That stuff is inside of you, but what does it mean to try to notice that? It can freak you out and bring you down [laughs]. It can be a very heavy weight. For a white person, for example, to actually be open to hearing the experiences of everyday racism that even my middle-class black academic colleagues face. To me, political depression is about accountability to those multiple generations, a way of bearing that weight and then also moving it—someway, somehow.....

I am trying to remember that as I stand on the brink of publishing this new book on depression. I’m terrified about it—I feel like it’s stupid, the writing is bad, it’s too personal. But I need to remember that it is an act of bravery to be persistent in the face of feeling bad about ourselves. I am interested in thinking about depression in terms of everyday feelings like the self-hatred that we are often weighed down by. The battle against those feelings is also part of the battle against larger systemic violence. That’s where political depression lies. It is very physical for me. Building everyday habits of survival is a practice that will move us forward. The use of art, or listening, or whatever tools we have to craft or create sociability is really important, whether it’s just on a small intimate scale or morphs into something larger.

“Cruising the Archive with Ann Cvetkovich,” Recap Magazine

As usual, there's a lot to unpack in Ann's work, but I like how positive she is here, right in the face of fear, that she's open about how these things go right alongside together. One of the things that has always drawn me to fandom is that same impulse - that curiosity and drive to think openly about the tricky things, to figure out why one is attracted to x and afraid of y (or both at the same time), to work it all out in text.

Me-search.

This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/53862.html. Comment wherever you like.

Warning: grad school

concinnity — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:46:30 GMT

I had the following conversation this morning:

me: I am going to work for two hours today
If I can do that, I'm calling it a good day and taking a nap.
harrumph
s:  that's great!
i'm in da cube
me:  I mean I did some research
I don't know if that counts as work
finding all the other shit I need to read
s:  um research=work
that's basically our job "research institution"
me:  LOL
FAIR POINT

I do, in fact, attend and work at a research institution. It says so right in the name. My job is to figure out all the things I haven't read yet. The fact that it is hard for me to see that hours of work = *actual work* points to a) it isn't words on the page, which I really need right now. b) it is a lot of fun, actually. c) I'm exhausted.
/whine

On the upside, I got more almond milk yesterday. My coffee is really delicious. Also, being exhausted is my own fault. No-one told me to stay up late doing OTW work and reading fic. If you haven't read [Unknown LJ tag] Women's Weapons, you're missing out. Its the Pepper/Natasha/Maria being super-competent and having smoking hot sex pwp you've been looking for.
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/53649.html. Comment wherever you like.

gpoy: musings on transformations

concinnity — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 03:56:36 GMT

The other day I went to the craft store with a friend, because I needed a frame, and she needed glitter. As it turns out, craft stores these days also sell bee traps, and since I have BEES IN MY FUCKING LIGHT FIXTURE, a bee trap seemed like a good idea, too.

We wandered around for ages, because I couldn't find the right frame, the glitter needed multiple inspections, and the bee trap needed a hook. While we were wandering, we saw the sceniest kid that ever scened also wandering sort of aimlessly around the store. Eventually, we realized that he worked there. He worked there.

My friend and I couldn't find a hook to save our lives, so we decided, of course, to ask Scene Guy. Because honestly, we were in JOANN FABRICS. I don't know what your craft store experiences are like, but mine are...not scene, usually. We were curious!

Y'all. Lemme draw you a picture. Like this, but not quite as cute and less makeup. Skinny as rails, purple skintight jeans, tight band t-shirt, flat-ironed hair, diffident expression. Stoned? Lost in his own mind? Combination of the two? WHO KNOWS. Also, glasses duct-taped together. In three places. So boss. Also, the smell. Like, I live in a hot place. People sweat here. A lot. Meeting people and having them drip with sweat as they say hello is a regular occurrence. We are all familiar with a certain level of body odor. It is a Thing. But the odor around this dude was almost palpable. And, wow. Did it make me re-think all those bandom stories.

Scene guy also couldn't find a hook. But as we wandered (aimlessly) around the store together, he told funny quiet little self-mocking jokes and after we'd gone through over half the store without success, he announced he was going to ask someone who would Actually Know (yeah, you could hear the caps).

So we wander back to a service counter, where a girl with enormous hair says, "And how are you liking working at Joann Fabrics, today!?" to the dude with the snarkiest, most fake-smiley expression EVER on her face. And he says something to the effect of it being the apex of his very existence, the wind underneath his wings, etc. And then he wandered us over to the hook area, where we were all confused about the weight limits of various hold-y type things until he wandered gently off again toward the glitter area.

On our way out my friend said, "he was hitting on you!" And I was like, "how could you tell!?" She said the wandering was key. I dunno, I think if there had been less Wall of Smell I would've noticed more? But really, the key question is if I can't tell a dude is hitting on me, how am I ever going to get laid again?

Afterwards we went to a local burger chain, where i found out the dude who was taking my order had been a vegan for 7 years. He ran me through all the non-meat options at the chain and told me what I could order off-menu for the next time I came in.

I...am not used to strangers talking to me that much. I've been told for years that my natural, neutral expression is Epic Bitch Face. I asked S why they were talking to me. She up-downed me in only the way that girls raised in the deep south and polished by NYC can and said, "You look like...you look like you could be one of their people." And I thought about my black and purple hair, the metal in my ears, the huge shoulder tattoo and the dress that looks like a hippie's nightgown I was wearing and went "huh."

I don't think of myself as looking like one of their people. Just a few years ago I was power heels, layers of wool and airplanes. I'm middle-aged. I wonder how long it will take my perception of me to match what other people see, you know? It's a weird dissonance.
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/53065.html. Comment wherever you like.

Avengers!

concinnity — Sun, 06 May 2012 16:23:58 GMT

Surprising only myself, I loved Avengers a lot.

So, I've been seeing this dude off and on for awhile, and several weeks ago we went to the movies and saw a trailer for The Avengers, and Dude was pretty excited. I wanted to see it because it is culturally a pretty big deal. I haven't read any of the comics, and I didn't really love the lead-up movies. Thor was watchable, because of the pretty , but Captain America was bland and Iron Man was entertaining but not enough for me to see IM2. I think the comic-to-movie genre is just really tough to do well. How do you cram 70 years of history and storylines into an hour and a half that is watchable for a new-to-the characters audience *and* the obsessive fan? Not very well, usually.

And really, I was in a phase where I was tired of watching men get all the good roles while ladies hung out and wore tight skirts and didn't get good dialogue. I have issues with the overall depiction of ladies in comics, in general.

I explained a bit of this to the dude, and because he is a total Joss Whedon fanboy and a big feminist, he said with the fervor of a true believer: "No, its Joss. Joss would never do that to her. He's going to make her GREAT. It is going to be a GREAT MOVIE."

And I patted his hand and mentally raised his points while nodding extremely dubiously. Because, yes, Joss, but - the genre!

But then I saw it, and, wow. Can we all just roll around in the Black Widow-y goodness? The way she was the star of the show in a really strong ensemble cast? The way she outsmarted fucking LOKI, the trickster? The way she fought just as well if not better than the boys, even when she was wearing a tight dress in the opening scene, and then high heels for the entire rest of the movie? The way even though everyone *knows* she's a master manipulator, they keep buying into whatever she's selling?

Also, for the record, I'm not a huge Scarlet Johanssen fan. I mean, she's fine. I've only seen Lost in Translation, but she did good work there. And she was great here. Comic book movies don't have a lot of dialogue, but she did a wonderful job humanizing her role. Can you imagine someone like Megan Fox doing this, and how flat it would fall?

tl;dr The Black Widow made the movie for me, and I'm looking forward to seeing it again. And I'm already looking forward to the Black Widow stand-alone movie. Also, genusshrike made a *super* vid based on 100% movie footage. Go leave hir feedback here. :)

In other news, this is going to be a crazy couple of weeks, school-wise. I'm really glad I had this two-day break. *whimper*

ETA: I would like to read all the Tony Stark/Bruce Banner sexytimes now. Also, poor Captain America with his crush on Tony! Also, Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanov, and some tequila shots sounds like a good fic, don't you think? And I'm still buying into Thor/Loki all the way.
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/52381.html. Comment wherever you like.

OUCH!

concinnity — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 05:02:35 GMT

So, gentle flist, today I went to the dentist.

I went a few weeks ago, for the first time in 6 years. Not at all surprisingly, I had a few cavities. I went back today for the first of the fillings. Things I learned:
1. a fast metabolism isn't always a good thing. In my case, I metabolize painkillers as fast as I do everything else. This might explain my remarkable tolerance for alcohol, even though I am basically an extra-small sized person.
2. my new dentist is great.
3. still, at one point she asked, "so, has anyone ever been able to fully anesthetize you?" A: "good question! no?"
4. did you know local anesthetics had a maximum legal limit?

Now I have a shiny new filling. And a back tooth slightly filed down. The dentist said something about not grinding my teeth as often; apparently I ground a sharp edge into my own tooth. Like a horse.

*facepalm*
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/52131.html. Comment wherever you like.

The OTW - why I think supporting it is a good idea

concinnity — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 21:11:24 GMT

If you're one of the nearly 43,000 registered members of the Archive of Our Own, sometime in the last 24 hours you received an email saying the OTW would like your time and money.

The reason I think you should do both was maybe best said by someone in today's open Tag Wrangler's meeting: zie said

i think anyone who notices that there's limitations with the current system is someone we need to have on the team

If you're reading this, you've probably read something on the Ao3, read an article in the TWC, seen discussion of fandom in the larger public sphere, and/or wondered about a long-dead fandom wank (read up about it on Fanlore!) And you've probably noticed something you wanted changed. Sending in only $10 to the OTW means you can vote in the next election - which is a great way to change the organization. You might recall that the last election season was fairly contentious (if you don't remember, you can check out my pinboard tags here, and I suggest searching all of Pinboard for OTW links. There are a lot of them, with good reason).

In a recent Fail Fandom Anon post (as always, read FF_A only if you're up to it! I read but never post), someone asked if the many many organization issues that were aired during the last election round were being worked on, and if so, what had changed.

The short answer is yes, "Specifically: the tag-wrangling and coding problems, transparency concerns, inclusiveness efforts" are all being addressed, on multiple fronts.

The longer answer, and the harder one, is that they are being addressed by a pretty small group of people, all of whom do it in their spare time. While everyone works with goodwill, there are and always will be ways to dramatically improve the way the org works. I am myself frequently frustrated, angry and have been moved to tears by the current procedures and/or how certain people behave. I think, though, that this has value; I am reminded by this frustration just as I am by the multitude of fanworks that every person sees the world differently. And to repeat: no matter how badly it may seem someone is behaving, I really believe that if they are in the OTW they are working with good will towards fandom.

While I appreciate the opportunity to work with this many people who feel strongly enough about fandom to give their time and energy in this way; I know not everyone will or does! And in no way am I disrespectful of the many many people who have left the OTW because they felt driven out, harassed, or that their work was undervalued. I am extraordinarily grateful for their work, time, energy, thoughtfulness, and tears, and I very sincerely wish the OTW had worked better to support them. I miss some of them personally, and others I've found by using the tools and docs assigned to volunteers - I miss them, too, because the work they did was just amazing.

If you have concerns about how the OTW is run, please take the survey! It provides ample opportunity for you to rate and comment on your experience with OTW tools, and they have a handy "is there anything else you'd like to tell us?" section at the end.

Feedback = love. It is important that people continue to be openly and loudly critical of the OTW. Without critical feedback, the people who work in the org will continue to do things the way they have been - because, quite simply, it makes sense to them. I still believe the OTW can be a stable resource for fandom.

Please take the survey. Please consider donating, if only so that you can improve the OTW by voting. As always, I'm happy to answer questions here, via pm, or on Twitter if I can. If I don't know the answer, I will try and find out. :)

This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/51763.html. Comment wherever you like.

Drive by post -Go Play in the Sandbox!

concinnity — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 02:17:45 GMT

Ladyfoxxx is hosting a discussion of the whys and wherefores of various kinds of sex in different fandoms. If you haven't already, go check it out. :D

Good times, fen. Good times.
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/51494.html. Comment wherever you like.

What I'm drinking: Monday edition

concinnity — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 05:20:06 GMT

Life has been crazy busy! According to my calendar, this is the first night since 3/17 that I haven't done things with people. Oh couch, you are so wonderful. I've done many things! Meetings! Conference! More meetings! A million emails! Several good parties!

But tonight, oh tonight. I vacuumed. I did laundry. I ran the dishwasher. I got my inbox down to almost 1,000 unread emails. Good times, y'all, good times.

More importantly, lately I've been concertedly trying to break out of my booze rut. I'm a girl of simple tastes, booze-wise. I've been drinking Bombay Sapphire gin & tonics pretty consistently for over a decade now. They're my go-to drink at a bar and I usually have the supplies for them at home. I had a long phase of drinking dirty martinis with the same, back when I was working a real job and martini lunches were a real thing, but they're pretty rare these days. I like Hendricks, too, and recently decided that Hayman's Old Tom gin made a better dirty martini than Bombay Sapphire, because it is less floral than the other two.

(Before this goes any further, let's assume that we all agree that Tanqueray tastes like a juniper bush brushed up against a rotten lemon and speak no more of it.)

Since starting grad school, I've learned to enjoy other boozey things like beer and tequila. My first beer in a can tasted exactly like can, and then I found out they mostly all taste like can. I mostly avoid beer in a can, but I like easy to get stuff in a bottle, like Shiner Boch and Big Bark. I'm super-picky about tequila after that one time I learned what cheap tequila was like. Apparently I'd been drinking the good stuff all along, and, wow. Uh. You can't really go backwards on tequila quality. O_o

Anyway, I've been in a rut. So the other day when Flourish mentioned Ransom's Old Tom Gin and then I ran out just a couple of days later, I decided to pick some up.

Confusingly, it is absolutely nothing like Hayman's Old Tom Gin, which is a decent, clean, very even flavored kind of gin. Ransom's Old Tom Gin tastes like gin & whiskey got together and had a baby. Gin mixed with cardamom, cinnamon, orange blossoms and woods sounds like it should be awful, but this stuff is really delicious with layered flavors that keep you intrigued sip after sip.

The maker's website says it is a replica of an 1800's era gin; which means it should be a perfect fit for a bunch of classic cocktails. I tried it in a Martinez (1 shot gin, 1 shot sweet vermouth, 2 spoons of maraschino and a dash of orange bitters) and a martini with elderflower liquer that doesn't seem to have a name but is 1.5 shots gin, 1 shot elderflower liquer & some rose water (variations everywhere). I tried it with tonic, and I tried it with soda water.

Although all of these were drinkable, none of them were really great. I think the cherry/rose flavor doesn't mix well with the cedar in the Ransom's, for my palate anyway. Although I'm going to try it in a few really sweetened up drinks like a Tom Collins, for now I like it best straight. This stuff is really good, and designed for sipping, I think.
This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/51434.html. Comment wherever you like.

Weird con happenings - (internalized) fanophobia

concinnity — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 19:06:14 GMT

So last week I went to a big conference in my field. It was great! I met many people and heard many interesting talks and got by on 4 hours of sleep a night for four days straight! \o/ I was also busy following the hashtags from three other major conferences that were happening that weekend, which was fascinating in and of itself.

My presentation was about fandom and fan fiction in particular and how it is a great way to teach people classical rhetoric. My panel was wonderful. All of our papers were good and we had a good turnout given our presentation time. I was on a FANDOM PANEL which is just amazing, because we were ONE OF THREE and this is a very conservative conference, and they don't really hold with things like computers or fun times or...doing anything that isn't reading a paper that was clearly meant for reading rather than hearing.

Seriously, I was one of the very few presenters with slides, even. Slides! I was cutting-edge because I use power point!! But I digress.

Two things happened that made me think about my - and our - relationship with fandom.One was that I went to a panel on gaming. The panel was interesting because of its structure - the panelists shockingly did not read long boring papers written to be read, but personal narratives about how they became gamers, and how gaming has impacted not only their pedagogy but their life. For the kind of conference we were at, it was a groundbreaking panel structure. Second, though, they were introduced by their panel chair with their avatar names, and while they spoke there was an image of their avatar up on the screen.

It made me think about the contrast between gamer and fan identity, and how that plays out in larger world structures. There is, to be sure, the image of gamer as the unwashed unpleasant socially awkward penguin, but the rise of programmer culture has definitely gone a long way to mitigate it.

These gamers were out and proud at a major conference. And I was happy for them that they could claim that. But fans are definitely not there yet.
The other thing that happened was that I finally met a twitter friend in person. She was just as delightful and enthusiastic and wonderful as her tweets conveyed, and I was thrilled to meet her.

But while we were chatting, she said to me, "Oh, I love fandom!" and I got excited! But then she said, "But I could never talk about fandom in my work, because it would send the wrong message to the market." Like me, she is a young scholar, and the job market is something we think about a lot.

But instead of making any rebuttal, I just NODDED and let her continue talking about her own work. Nodded, even though she had just disparaged my scholarship, and reinforced the second-class status of fandom and all the tremendously important, political, and fun work fandom does. I nodded, because she was nice and friendly and I like her and we do similar work.

I didn't even think about it until later when I was in my room by myself. I'd just let it slip by because I am USED to fandom being treated like that. Which means I am used to being treated like that. It really shook me. I wonder, now, how often that has happened, on social and academic levels. I often talk laughingly about my own work, in part because it is often delightful and hilarious, but also because I know it makes people uncomfortable, and laughter - buying into and mitigating some of their discomfort - is often the easiest way to handle it.

I'm not entirely sure yet how this realization is going to impact my work or how I handle my role in the world, but I'd be really interested to hear what other people, and especially aca-fen, think about it. This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/51044.html. Comment wherever you like.

BRBB post! - mix 47/You Will Leave a Mark

concinnity — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:53:57 GMT

It is bandomreversebb posting season! \o/ I made a mix and brooklinegirl wrote me an amazing story!

Here is a link to my mix (please ignore that it says 2011 in the title!). When I put the mix together, I thought about people being lonely, how hard it can be to get over all the stuff we carry around in our own heads, and how great it is to find someone who really gets you. I left it without art or a title because I wanted the author to feel like they could work with whatever ideas came to mind.

I am as always deeply in debt to fleete for listening to me whine about this, for introducing me to Kina Grannis' great videos, and for helping me cut six songs out of this. Including Holst.

Track Listing:
Elle Me Dit - Mika
Cheers (Drink to That) - Rhianna
Wild in the Streets - Circle Jerks
Get Some Go Again - Rollins Band
Your Friends are Full of Shit - Leathermouth
Hey Pretty - Poe
Any Which Way - Scissor Sisters
Too Drunk to Fuck - Dead Kennedys
Sex Clock Keys - Butcher Bear & Charlie
Sunday Morning Comedown - Johnny Cash
You Will Leave a Mark - Silent Film
I Touch Myself - DiVinyls
Sunshower - Ume
In the Bathroom is Where I Want You - Nightmare of You
Bad Reputation - Joan Jett
In Your Arms - Kina Grannis
Tell Me 'Bout It - Joss Stone
La La Love You - Pixies

brooklinegirl took all that and wrote something really wonderful.

Go read her story and give her feedback! I feel so, so lucky to have been able to do this challenge with her!

Title: You Will Leave a Mark 
Author name: brooklinegirl
Bands (and/or pairings): My Chemical Romance, Frank/Gerard
 Rating: NC-17 
Word count: 24,816
Warnings: none
 Summary: Gerard twenty-two, drunk, lonely, and needs to get out of the basement.
 Author notes: Thank you so so much to both mrsronweasley and shiningartifact for the betas! <3! 

This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/50856.html. Comment wherever you like.

An important post on vids, copyright, and you (insta-rec)

concinnity — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 18:24:16 GMT

Hey, fandom, hey!

thingswithwings has written a fantastic post that summarizes how and what you can do to help the OTW's current fight against DMCA rules over here. If you are not a vidder, you might not think this fight applies to you. You are wrong. As thingswithwings points out, the way the argument is being framed is...problematic, at best, not only for vidders but for fandom at large.

Zie says:

Some of the assumptions that the OTW is forced to accept from the lawmakers, and is forced to reiterate and reinscribe in its attempt to defend vidding practice against the lawmakers, include:

1) vids that retell a fairly recognizable version of the original story are not art
2) montage is not an intense and powerful method of manipulating footage
3) the elements of montage - cutting, juxtaposition, the way comparisons between shots literally move the human eye around - are not artistic tools
4) forms of footage manipulation that are invisible (such as cropping and zooming in order to refocus the shot, or recolouring a weirdly coloured scene so that it doesn't stand out) don't count as an artistic intervention in the footage
5) vids need a message to be art, and that message needs to be easily discerned and defined
6) wanting to make art out of the most beautiful footage available is not a valid reason to be able to use that footage; surely, as long as people can sort of tell that that's Spock, your star trek vid is good enough
7) wanting to project vids onto large screens at cons is not a valid reason to be able to use the footage that will look the best on a large screen
8) celebrating a source is not a kind of critical engagement with that source
9) loving something is not a noble enough goal to make the product of that love recognizable as art
10) a simple montage-style vid does not require artistic choices

And so on.

Like many people, thingswithwings quite rightly doesn't support all of the OTW's actions. But I love the way the argument is broken down here. The rest of the post is well worth reading.

This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/50361.html. Comment wherever you like.

this is just to show

concinnity — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 00:04:49 GMT

my new icon
from fleete
that she made
for me

because
icons are love
also
frankie + seal

forgive me
for bragging but it is
so cute
and so cool

This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/50141.html. Comment wherever you like.

Dr. Who OMG

concinnity — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:19:39 GMT

you guys. you guys. I am watching the end of Season 4. I don't even know how you survived this in real time. SO. MANY. FEELINGS.OMG.

Oddly, the thing that made me feel the most better was Donna's billowing man coat of pain (tm). As soon as I realized that was what she was wearing, I realized she would get beat up, but we would have much more of her.

SIGH.

AND ROSE. ROSE. ROSE IN CHARGE AND BEING AWESOME. Have I told you about my Rose feelings? The way I had to take a major Dr. Who break after we...lost her? ROSE. ROSE IS AWESOME WHEN SHE IS IN CHARGE.

AND NOW EVERYONE IS GOING TO MEET UP. APPARENTLY. AND TORCHWOOD. OMG.

Okay. I just had to get that out of my system. I am going to make food and watch the last three episodes.

Also, Holy Mother of Sweet Baby Cheese, I have remained spoiler-free for all of this very long time. It took some occasional rapid back-clicking, but all I know about the future is a) there will be a new doctor with b) some buddies named Amy and Rory. Nothing else.

My flist, I salute you and your excellent use of cut-text. These are big fandom moments. AND MY HEART, OMG. This entry was originally posted at http://concinnity.dreamwidth.org/49547.html. Comment wherever you like.