FIC: Static on a Broken Wire

( originally published november 15, 2011 )


Game of Thrones / ASOIAF [AU]; Ashara Dayne (Eddard Stark); 771 words

She reappeared just as she had vanished: in a wave of swirling, churning rumour and restless whispering. Those who'd seen Ashara Dayne called her reborn, remade; they called her untouched and unchanged and unaged. Or they called her haggard--a mere shadow of the beauty she'd been.

The nameless mouths, they spouted tale after tale, weaving stories into intricate patterns; sometimes she was a victim, sometimes a villain, yet always she was unnatural and the names spy and cyborg followed her like the shadow of a vulture across desert sands.


 

STATIC ON A BROKEN WIRE


you remember it a time it wasnt so long ago you think and you used to be a girl then

young

you used to be

then back then back in that time that distant past you were young and you were and you knew you knew you knew who you were and what

why

things

these things all of them they had meaning and they fit together and they made and they werent just things werent just stuff wasnt just stuck together like this in this way in this

mess

running together and running around and

and

and

zeros and ones its all just

zeros and

ones

 

Are you alive?

 

he asks the question so easily words slipping from his

lips

mouth

and what a stupid idiotic kind of question because of course youre alive youre here right here right in front of him

him

standing there and you standing here and

you think you may not be a girl not anymore but you cant have changed so much because he hasnt changed at all except his face is older and carved with cracks and lines you dont recall and his hair his beard not quite a beard its greying at the edges and its ragged around the corners but those arent changes arent real changes because he still stands the same and still speaks the same and still smells the same and his

words

his words are still soft but rough still measured out carefully like hes worried maybe if he uses too many at once hell one day run out and his words theyre still

abrupt

they snap through the air

crash through the air

his words

like waves against rock

violent

and some things never change because his voice was always soft but the words hurt they hurt they

but his eyes

his eyes dont look the same they used to shine you remember from back then back when you where a girl his eyes they were cold they were they were grey but they were alive so alive and they would dance like a winter wind they would sing songs like gales and gleam and you would you remember back then you would look in his eyes in his cold grey eyes and you would see the jagged peaks of mountains far far away and he would say home and you would laugh you knew then you used to know how to laugh and you would laugh because his voice was soft it was it was soft and it didnt crash didnt shatter but sighed and drifted and you would laugh and imagine precipices he called home but his eyes now his eyes now they just look

dead

and you say, Are you?

and you see in his eyes in his cold grey eyes his eyes that dont sparkle not anymore not like they did like before like you remember from back then back when you were a girl and you

you see

you see in his eyes a thing like a shadow

a shade

a flicker of darkness and you think what it wants to say is sadness you remember sadness oh yes you remember well sorrow your sweet friend you live with her she fills you up

some days you think shell eat you up

burn you up

but she is cold so cold and she makes you feel old so old and everything is nothing its all just zeros and

ones

all just

zeros and ones

and nothing means anything and nothing means dead and are you alive no he asked that are you

are you

of course you are because here you are

arent you

and you look back in his eyes at the shadow spread across his eyes the shadow that wants to be melancholy wants to be sadness but what youre reading printed across the darkness across the grey rolling grey like storm clouds darkness is danger

danger

storm is coming

wolves are coming

howling

howling holwing howling like a gale

he was a wolf

you remember

tear you up

they called him

rip you up

quiet wolf

teeth and claws

they called him

 

He says, Of course I am.

 

cold

like winter like wind like jagged peaks and frozen frozen frozen and you remember now what they said then you remember what they said the word they said it was

ice

and you say, How can you be, with ice in your veins?

and you say, Isn’t it cold? Don’t you feel cold?

but he says nothing at all and its all just zeros and ones

just zeroes and

ones

 

 




(end)