The Warchief's Command Board

Strange bedfellows

Posted in Comics, General with tags atomic fyv, fuck you varian, giska, gurtash, humans, irritation, koltira deathweaver, korrina, krasarang wilds, lemon squares, matron battlewail, pandaria, ruekie, saurok, sha, trainees, varian, WoW on November 19, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

So I’m going to spare Gurtash having to draw like ten pages of action shots and bottom-line this for you: it took a little doing, but Varian and I were able to beat down that sha that sprung up out of where-the-fuck. Which shouldn’t come as much of a surprise – I mean, really, anyone who thought I would be writing this to inform you we’d been fucking KILLED, take a step forward. Then take another few steps toward the nearest steep ledge and just fucking kill yourself, because seriously, too stupid to live.

Anyway, once the sha was out of the way, we got back to the much more important matter of beating the shit out of each other. Check it out, though – we weren’t even five minutes into round two when ANOTHER sha popped up out of nowhere and had something to say. So we had to drop everything again and take care of the sha. Fucking rude, if you ask me.

Anyway, we polished off this one and got back to business. For a few minutes, anyway, until – can you believe this shit? – ANOTHER sha showed up. At which point it was way past rude getting to be just plain annoying.

Now, if it depended solely on pinhead Varian, we probably would have been going round and round like that for-fucking-EVER, but because your Warchief IS indeed the sharpest tool in the shed, after this pattern repeated itself another, like, eight or nine times, I realized that it was our fighting that was causing the sha to keep spawning. Feeding off of our anger and hate and…well, really, let’s just call it the whole damn sha cocktail.

So, on the up side: Now we knew how to keep the damn sha from rolling up on us over and over.

On the down side: I had to put a (temporary) stop to adding to the human’s scar collection.

Seriously, do you know how fucking DISTASTEFUL it is to be stuck in a room with Varian and not be able to punch him in the face? (Note to Genn Greymane: How the fuck do you DO it, man?)

Seriously. How, Genn, how?

Anyway, that went on for a little while. At least the trainees weren’t within earshot most of the time, so I could give Varian an earful. Otherwise I’m liable to GET an earful from Orphan Matron Battlewail whenever I get back to Orgrimmar, what with the giant bone she has to pick with me about swearing so much around the kids. Because, yeah, in situations like these, watching my language should TOTALLY be one of my priorities, right?

Anyhow. Whatever. After fuck only knows HOW long with Varian playing the role of “annoying little bird sitting on Garrosh’s head and pecking away verbally,” I finally managed to get him talking enough to find out how he ended up down there – after the battle at the temple, word got back to him that his soldiers had chased some orc trainees into the wilds, and he went out to join in the search. Something about making sure his people didn’t get “overzealous,” whatever the fuck that means. Anyway, while he was scoping out the area he managed to fall down one of those cracks in the ground, same as I did. Idiot. So here he was.

I’m not sure how long we were stuck there basking in the glow of each other’s delightful company, but eventually Giska came running in with a scouting report. Apparently there were noises coming our way, and so she snuck off to check on it all stealthy-monk style, and, come to find out, there was a handful of humans heading our way. Because hey, why not, right? Was there anybody NOT in these caves at this point? Who knew the fucking saurok caves were party central around these parts? Hey, maybe fucking Koltira Deathweaver was down here too – mystery solved at last!

So, fast forward to the humans arriving, the initial “Holy shit, it’s Garrosh!” moment (RECOGNIZE, BITCHES), and the clusterfuckery of getting them to cool it before we got an in-person reminder of what’s black and white and tendrilly all over. From that point, the humans huddled off to themselves, but I managed to listen in on bits and pieces.

I guess these newest arrivals had found the main entrance to these caves, up in the heart of Saurok Town, and had gone in searching for King Chin. From what I can gather, they had to make their way through a shitload of saurok activity. Seems over the last couple hours, the saurok had been spooked by the appearance of a bunch of creepy black monsters (GEE I WONDER WHERE THOSE COULD HAVE COME FROM), and now it looked like they were getting what passes for shaman in lizard-land to do some kind of rituals to close off these caves altogether with earthquakes and cave-ins and shit. So that spurred the humans to pick up the pace looking for Varian, and look at that, they found him safe and sound, because things always work out nicely that way so long as your name isn’t fucking ME.

Luckily, the humans had a mage with them. I say “luckily” there, because for some reason I thought, hey, cool, mage portal, we can all just pop the fuck out of here, only I didn’t realize that APPARENTLY mages can rig their portals so they can only be used by the people they WANT to use them, because I guess mages are FUCKERS like that. So I guess the “luckily” was, in fact, only “luckily” for them, as opposed to a big juicy serving of UP YOURS for me and the kids.

And of course, class act that he is, Varian couldn’t resist sticking it to me on his way out the door. Portal. Whatever.

8 Comments »

Ready Check

Posted in Words from Behind the Curtain with tags averry, blogging, gaming, orgrimmar, raiding, siege of orgrimmar, WoW on November 14, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

Averry here with one last out-of-character item before I disappear behind the curtain again for (I hope) a long, long time.

Back before I went on my recent, unplanned hiatus, I’d written about my interest in setting up a Friends-of-WCB shits-and-giggles raid for Siege of Orgrimmar. Based on the response I got, both in blog comments and in individual messages, it looked like there was a fair bit of interest at the time. Hopefully that’s still the case, because now that life has become somewhat less hectic, I’d very much like to finally get the ball rolling.

So, here’s the pseudo-quasi-plan: I’d like to set up a Horde-side SoO group for next weekend – i.e., the weekend of November 23 and 24. In a perfect world, if we have enough people and the right combination of roles, I’d love to do this as Flex, but if not, we can always go in and take over some poor, unsuspecting LFR. This would be a one-night deal; I don’t have a strong preference for that Saturday or Sunday, so I’d prefer to leave that open and see when people are available. I would be looking to start somewhere in the vicinity of 8:00-9:00 PM EST, and run until…well…until we all get sick of each other, I suppose.

If you’re still interested in coming along, please let me know – either through a comment here, or by contacting me directly – what your availability is and whether you have a preference between Saturday and Sunday. (Also, please be sure to let me know if either day would be possible for you, even if you have a definite preference.) If you haven’t already, feel free to add me on RealID: Averry#1116.

Even if you aren’t able to participate in the raid itself (say your Flex lockout is already committed, or you don’t have a max-level Horde toon*), you’re more than welcome to come join the party, whether that be hanging out in raid chat or popping into vent with us. (Speaking of which, LF generous benefactor with a vent server we can use for the shindig!** I promise this won’t be one of those cases like when you host a party the weekend your parents are away, and a bunch of strangers come over, and they end up wrecking the place, and then they take off and stick you with the mess, and so now you’ve got to clean it all up before Mom and Dad get home or oh boy are you going to be in trouble, which sounds pretty awful and stressful but really isn’t all that bad once you realize you can just cleaning-montage your way over it. Although you never could figure out how the wombat got in the guest bathroom, because who the hell brings a wombat to a party? They’re notoriously bad minglers. So no, it won’t be like that.***)

So, there you have it – clear your (social) (HA!) (raid) calendars!

Be seeing you,

Averry

* Although, seriously, you don’t? What’s wrong with you?

** I say “shindig,” because yes, gentle readers, I am old.

*** Disclaimer: It will totally be like that.

44 Comments »

Clobberin’ time

Posted in Comics with tags fuck you varian, gorehowl, gurtash, irritation, krasarang wilds, oblique references, pandaria, sha, varian, WoW on November 11, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

[OOC Preliminaries: Okay, so yes, I know, I’ve been criminally slow in updating the blog. I’ve been caught in an all-too-busy real life these last few months, and even when I have had some free time after work, I often haven’t had the mental energy to work on anything that required much focus. And I didn’t want to just toss stuff on here that was half-assed. Whole-assed only for my readers! (That sounded better in my head.) Anyway, thank you for your patience. I don’t want to make any sweeping promises that I won’t end up keeping, but I should be able to get back to more of a normal schedule from here on.]

[Also: Don’t think I’ve forgotten about my idea to do a blog-friends Siege of Orgrimmar group! More on that very shortly!]

[Also also: DAMMIT, Blizzard, I already DID that idea. FUCKING TIME TRAVEL.]

So, getting back to the long-overdue story of what the hell happened in those caves. More specifically, what the hell happened after I turned that corner and found Varian giving me the OH HAI GAIS face.

How about THAT, by the way, huh?

So, yeah, as you might imagine, Varian and I were pretty quick to recognize this as the opportunity it was for the two of us to sit down and hash out our differences like adults.

19 Comments »

Cheat Sheet

Posted in Words from Behind the Curtain with tags averry, blogging, deliana, divine bell, dontrag, earth online, edenvale, epic verse, fuck you varian, gaming, greatmother, guild chat, gurtash, jaina proudmoore, khizzara, lakkara, lemon squares, lor'themar, mokvar, mortimer, orgrimmar, orphan, orphanage, pandaria, poetry, siege of orgrimmar, spazzle, taktani, trainees, utvoch, varian, vol'jin, WoW, wyvern on September 18, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

As promised in my last post, here’s an overview of the state of the blog. I realize that after two years of accumulated in-jokes and storylines, the Command Board may be a bit disorienting to a newcomer (or, for that matter, to a long-time reader who blinked at the wrong time), so I’ve tried to break this down into a semi-sorta-kinda FAQ. Most of this will be familiar to long-time readers (though I’ve also included a few behind-the-scenes notes that some of you might find interesting), but I hope it’ll explain a few things for new arrivals.

I hate Garrosh! Why does Garrosh seem so sympathetic in this blog? Are you one of those Garrosh apologists/fanboys?

Comically enough, I originally started the blog because I really didn’t like Garrosh either, and saw the blog as a way to have a few chuckles mocking him. It wasn’t long, though, before I decided that I would get sick of the outright-mockery approach pretty quickly, so I started branching out. Part of the result was letting blog-Garrosh become (I hope) a bit more multifaceted, while still remaining true to his temperamental self. Including the LOLs.

Ultimately, I don’t set out to justify anything Garrosh does, just to present it in a way that makes sense in light of the character, and if that pushes a black-and-white scenario into some shade of gray, well, that makes for a more interesting story anyway. And, keep in mind, the story here is being told, generally, from Garrosh’s point of view, so I don’t know how that perspective wouldn’t be sympathetic. Everyone is the hero of their own story, after all, and nobody thinks they’re a bad person.

Why isn’t there anything here about the siege of Orgrimmar?

What are you talking about? There was a post titled “The siege of Orgrimmar” a good solid year ago – if anything, shouldn’t you be asking why Blizzard is coming so late to the party? (By the way, I didn’t realize until just now that patch 5.4 was released almost exactly on the one-year anniversary of the “Siege or Orgrimmar” post. How awesomely freaky is that?)

Anyway, to give a real answer: Time-wise, the blog has not yet reached the events of patch 5.4. The storyline is currently playing out the midst of 5.2; Lor’themar Theron and Jaina Proudmoore have recently set up shop on the Isle of Thunder, while Vol’jin is still recovering from his injuries at Shado-Pan Monastery.

This time lag between the game and the blog, by the way, is partly by design. I’d always intended the blog to run a bit behind the game; coming into MoP, I realized that if I tried to follow in-game events too closely, I wouldn’t have time to adapt my own ideas to fit Blizzard’s story. There have already been a few instances in which Blizzard’s story has taken a turn that’s forced me to change gears in a way that would have been disastrous if I didn’t have a month or two of lead time. Of course, I’m clearly more than a month or two behind – that’s been a result of various real-life circumstances slowing down my output over the last few months. I’m working on it!

So the blog basically retells in-game events, from Garrosh’s point of view?

Yes and no. The blog operates within Blizzard’s continuity (with the aforementioned time delay), but also weaves additional storylines in and around the canonical Blizzard plots. Anything that happens or is stated explicitly in-game is canon, obviously, and the blog is bound by it.* That said, I sometimes like to put other stories around Blizzard’s, to give them context that might change the way those events are perceived. (This was a large part of my motivation for the Timequake story leading into Theramore, or, more recently, the blog events surrounding the Divine Bell / Domination Offensive storyline.)

Also, while the point of view is mostly Garrosh’s, there are some posts that present events from other perspectives. Most notable are the “guest” posts by Spazzle (Garrosh’s tech goblin), which help fill in story details that Garrosh wouldn’t necessarily be privy to. You can always identify a post written by someone other than Garrosh by the color of the text – Spazzle’s posts, for instance, are always written in green text, and almost always include the phrase “Spazzle Speaks” in the title. Also, as a rule of thumb, when Spazzle et al post, Garrosh remains oblivious to anything that might be revealed; the conceit at work here is that Garrosh doesn’t really care what anyone else is writing, so he doesn’t bother reading it.

* The one instance that I’ve flat-out fudged in-game details is the way I’ve chosen to incorporate the events of “A Little Patience.” From the Alliance point of view, that scenario takes place almost immediately after Varian arrives in Pandaria; in the blog, I’ve pushed those events a bit later in the story. This was largely a matter of convenience: I knew that I wanted there to be a military operation in Krasarang in which Garrosh’s trainees went missing, and I realized fairly late in the going that “A Little Patience” lent itself to that story pretty readily. Hopefully those Alliance-side readers out there will be willing to turn a blind eye to my blatant and shameless revision. (Horde bias rears its ugly head again! GRR!)

Garrosh has trainees? When did that happen?

Right here! As part of the escalation of the war effort, the Kor’kron started a training program to prepare orc teenagers for eventual military service. When Garrosh learned that Gurtash – an orc boy from the Orgrimmar orphanage whom Garrosh had taken under his wing – had been conscripted, Garrosh volunteered to take Gurtash’s trainee group under his own supervision. (Side note: In my head-canon, Garrosh has a bit of a soft spot for the orphans, being as he is one himself.) The trainees, who have nicknamed themselves the Dead Peons Society (DPS for short) have accompanied Garrosh to Pandaria and joined him on a few adventures. Fairly recently, they went missing after the Horde loss in the “A Little Patience” scenario, and were eventually found by Garrosh, hiding away in an underground system of caves. That’s brought us up to the point where we are now, story-wise: Garrosh and the trainees underground, looking for a way out.

Is the entire supporting cast from within the game?

Mostly, but not entirely. I’ve invented a few characters for the blog – Spazzle being the highest-profile – but I’ve tried to keep it limited, and tried to restrict those characters to fairly peripheral positions in the lore. The one glaring exception was the storyline involving Garrosh’s mother, Lakkara, who isn’t mentioned anywhere in the actual lore. It just struck me as odd that there’s no record of who she was, or what happened to her, and besides, in a mythology packed to capacity with father/son relationships, I thought it was about time somebody’s mom got a little screen time.

Otherwise, when a character turns up who doesn’t exist in-game, that character was often inspired by a reader and/or based on someone’s game character. For instance, both Gurtash and Mortimer (Garrosh’s personal wyvern) became blog characters thanks to mailbag letters from Khizzara from Blog of the Treant; Khizzara’s own namesake has made a few appearances as Spazzle’s cousin; doodle-prone kitty druid Taktani became a full-fledged character (and boy, is she ever a character) after making several mailbag contributions; and many of the DPS trainees are modeled on the baby orc alts of friends.

In general, though, if you see a supporting character turn up whose name you don’t recognize, the smartest first guess is that he or she is based on a questgiver or other NPC somewhere in-game. (Wowpedia is your friend!) I deliberately picked a lot of relatively minor NPCs – people like Mokvar, Elder Cloudfall, and Dontrag and Utvoch – to use as supporting characters because I figured their relatively peripheral status gave me more latitude to work with them, give them backstories, etc. After all, what are the odds that Blizzard would actually do something with one of these people to contradict my own concoctions?

(Either way, if you’re not sure who someone is, I’ve also maintained a partial list of supporting players on the About the Blog page, including some of the more pertinent information about them.)

Speaking of which – in the SoO raid, Mokvar is a mini-boss! Isn’t he missing? How are you going to deal with that?

First… um, yeah, that whole “no way they’re gonna do something with this guy” really blew up in my face on this one, huh?

And second… So, everyone who thought I was going to lay out this big storyline for Mokvar, and make such a production out of his disappearance…and then have it turn out that he really is dead…step forward.

Didn’t think so.

For those of you unclear on Mokvar’s whole story, which has been unfolding gradually for quite a while, you can check here for a brief overview and links to the relevant posts. Very short version: After becoming the victim of a mysterious attack, Mokvar sets out to track down a powerful relic from his warlock days, with the aid of a human named Deliana (who was Mokvar’s Alliance equivalent in the old dungeon set quests); over the course of his quest, he starts to behave increasingly strangely, culminating in his eventual flight from arrest in Orgrimmar. His whereabouts are now unknown.

Stay tuned. You’ll see where this is going!

With Mokvar gone, how are you handling the transcripts?

Prelinimary: The blog contains several transcripts of conversations that Garrosh has engaged in. The premise from the outset has been that Mokvar is (or was) Garrosh’s personal scribe, and records all these conversations for posting. This explains, by the way, a number of occasions when Garrosh mentions summoning Mokvar to an event, or otherwise noting Mokvar’s presence, as a way of leading in to a transcript.

Since Mokvar is off the grid, Garrosh has passed transcription duties to two people: Gurtash, who records his transcripts in the form of comics; and Taktani, a friend of Dontrag and Utvoch and long-time mailbag contributor, who’s started to (and will continue to) write a few transcripts, laden with her own unassuming brand of commentary.

What are these guild chat logs that keep cropping up?

Garrosh and several of the supporting characters play an MMORPG called Earth Online – the basic premise being that, to these characters, Azeroth is reality, and our real world is actually the game world of the MMO. Garrosh started his own guild, called <Warchief>, and several familiar faces (including Spazzle, Sylvanas, Lor’themar, Faranell, Garona, and Dontrag and Utvoch) are members. Also worth noting is that Jaina Proudmoore is a member of the guild…although she doesn’t realize (yet?) who her guildmates are in “real life.”

The guild chat logs recreate some of the exchanges that the members of <Warchief> have within their game, usually including regular guild chat, officer chat, and, in some cases, whispers. I make no pretense about the fact that some aspects of these logs are based on my own guild-chat expeiences, especially officer chat. The transcripts are always presented from the point of view of whoever posted them – usually Garrosh, but occasionally Spazzle.

Where did this whole thing about lemon squares come from?

Garrosh loves lemon squares. Don’t you?

Real explanation: Very early in the blog, Edenvale of The Gamer’s Fridge posted a recipe for Garrosh Hellscream’s lemon squares, and pointed me to her post with a comment on the Command Board. Since then, it’s become a bit of a running gag – the recipe, according to Garrosh, was his greatmother’s secret family recipe, and he was most perturbed that this random night elf had apparently gotten ahold of it.

What does “FYV” mean?

An abbreviation of one of Garrosh’s favorite turns of phrase, of course: “Fuck you, Varian!” Among other things, Garrosh often finds a way to slip that phrase into his EPIC VERSE compositions.

Speaking of which, what’s this “EPIC VERSE”? Garrosh writes poetry?

You sound surprised. Garrosh is an orc of many interests. What, do you think he’s some kind of one-note caricature or something?

Okay, fine, game-Garrosh kind of is.

Honestly, I just got a kick out of the obvious dichotomy of Garrosh Hellscream, gruffest of the gruff, also writing poetry on the side. True to form, Garrosh doesn’t view his compositions as just any poetry, so he prefers to call them EPIC VERSE. In caps. Always. It’s sprinkled throughout the blog – almost always in purple text, to stress its epic-ness – and ranges from limericks, to parodies of other famous poems, to reader requests, to epic rap battles.

So, that’s as much as I can think to cover. Other gaps can probably be filled in through the Major Storylines page, but if there are questions that anyone still has, in terms of getting caught up or clarified, by all means toss them into a comment and I’ll make sure it’s answered. And so, on that note, I’ll sigh off with the promise – unconditional promise! – that before the week is out, you’ll have the continuation of the actual STORY part of the story! Which left off, as you might recall, right here:

14 Comments »

And So It Begins

Posted in Words from Behind the Curtain with tags averry, blogging, raiding, siege of orgrimmar, WoW on September 10, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

Greetings once again from behind the curtain, everyone. Averry here with another pseudo-kinda-public service announcement. (No, not another one about Google search terms. That one was all Garrosh.) (Kind of.)

First of all, yes, I know, I’m woefully behind on actual story updates on the blog, and I’ve left you all hanging on that last semi-cliffhanger for far too long. As I’ve hinted at elsewhere, I’ve had a convergence of real-life work and – ever so conveniently – a (minor but annoying) hand injury which has made it rather difficult to work on new comics for more than short periods at a time. And, of course, this happened just at a point when I’d committed the story to a string of comic installments that really need to stay in place.

Rest assured, I’m working on getting the next installment together as quickly as possible. Since starting the blog, I’ve always truly hated letting more than a couple days go by without a new post, so believe me when I say that the slow output I’ve had the last several weeks has grated on me to no end. With any luck, you’ll find this upcoming stretch worth the wait, between (in the immediate-term) some face time between Garrosh and Varian, and (in the slightly longer-term) a few plot twists that I’m hoping will draw some pronounced reactions. (Yep, there I go teasing again.)

In the meantime, though, I wanted to touch on two other items, since – have you heard about this? – today marks the moment we’ve all been anticipating for quite a while: the release of the Siege of Orgrimmar raid, and the downfall of Garrosh Hellscream.

Well, in-game, at least. Blog-Garrosh still has a ways to go before he bids us a fond farewell.

Granted, as I’ve mentioned before, I do have the major plotlines mapped out for the blog from here to the grand finale, and I’m admittedly not in any great hurry to close up shop just yet, but nevertheless, the gap between what’s happening in the blog and what’s happening in-game does highlight one issue that probably deserves to be addressed. Which leads us to…

ITEM THE FIRST!

That being, the timeline of the blog, and all the convoluted storylines swirling around it.

Over the last year or so, a number of readers have given the Command Board plugs and shout-outs on various other blogs and forums – for which I always feel grateful and flattered – and on more than one occasion, their endorsements have included the recommendation that new readers go back and read the blog from the beginning, since it’s not exactly newcomer-friendly. That’s a fair criticism, even if it’s not really meant to be critical; while building up these ongoing storylines and running jokes/themes is one of the things I enjoy most about writing the blog, I also understand that it probably makes it difficult to jump in mid-stream. And while I’d certainly love for people to go back to read it all from the beginning (ARTIFICIALLY INFLATE MY PAGEVIEWS, BWAHA!), at this point, well past the 300-post mark, I don’t think I can fairly expect every new arrival to commit to such a bear of an undertaking.

And, with the release of Siege of Orgrimmar, I should probably brace myself for a few new folks to start finding their way here. (It’s already started on Twitter, by the way. Not to mention the beginning of what I’m sure will be a minor whirlwind of trash-talking tweets. Stay tuned; I may share some here soon.) While I try to link back to earlier posts when relevant, and hope that the About the Blog and Major Storylines pages help fill in a bit, I’m sure the blog can be a little confusing to a new reader for a number of reasons. So, to help any of you who just arrived – or not-so-new readers whom I’ve managed to confuse with some of my byzantine plotting – I’m going to be putting up a bit of a crib sheet in the next couple days to help account for where we are and how we got here. Hopefully, if you just found your way to the Command Board and are having a WTF response, that will help a bit.

(Super-short version: Right now the events of the blog are taking place in the midst of patch 5.2 – the Divine Bell is still a recent memory, Lor’themar and Jaina have recently arrived on the Isle of Thunder, and Vol’jin is still recuperating at Shado-Pan Monastery.)

With that said, let’s more on to the much more pressing…

ITEM THE SECOND!

Raiding your Warchief. With your Warchief. Kind of.

True story: Coming into MoP, I retired from raiding. I had raided pretty much all the way through TBC, Wrath, and Cata…and it just wasn’t fun anymore. This, by the way, was a reflection of my own shifting priorities and interests, not some tired, stale WoW-veteran gripe about Blizzard somehow doing me wrong. And I’ve absolutely loved MoP – in no small part, I think, because I’ve spent the entirety of it doing solely what I felt like doing, when I felt like doing it, having stepped away from the gear grind and raiding scene. Not a criticism of those who enjoy that scene, mind you; it’s just not where I am anymore.

That said…well, this is something different. This new raid isn’t just any other raid. The Siege of Orgrimmar carries with it a personal connection unlike anything before, and unlike anything WoW will ever offer again. And while I definitely don’t have any interest in committing myself to full-on progression raiding, I feel like this is a raid that I need to sample. Not “need” in the sense of the joyless gear grind that many of us let ourselves be sucked into – “need” in the sense of “Oh, man, I’ve been living with this story for years now; I’ve got to experience the end first-hand.”

More importantly, I’d like to experience it with people who share some of that personal connection. People who have been along for the long, crazy, oftentimes ridiculous ride, and have context for these events and these characters that your average WoW player doesn’t have. People who think of Lor’themar as “Ponytail” even more than as “that blood elf guy”…who find it odd that Orgrimmar has no vendor selling lemon squares or goblin NPC named Spazzle…who understand why it’s a BIG EFFING DEAL that there’s a mini-boss named Mokvar the Treasurer lurking in the Valley of Strength bank. (Yes, really.)

So, consider this an invitation.

At some point in the next week or two, I’d like to try to assemble a group of readers, fellow bloggers, and all-around friends of the Command Board to stroll into Orgrimmar together and see what there is to see. In a perfect world, if there are enough people interested and we can cover the necessary roles, we could use the new Flex setting; worst-case scenario, we could group up, hop into LFR, and take over the whole operation Garrosh-style. I definitely wouldn’t want to ask anyone to commit their normal-difficulty lockout – not least of all because I want this to be a purely for-kicks endeavor, not about progression or gear. Just good fun in good company, and if we happen to stumble into a ridiculous wipe or two on trash, I hope it would be a source of amusement, not angst.

So, if you have a level 90 Horde character and think you’d like to join the party, give me a shout. Feel free to e-mail me at garrosh1337@gmail.com, send a tweet to @GarroshHllscrm, leave a comment here on the blog, or contact me in-game (RealID Averry#1116). Give me an idea of what days and times might be possible for you, and what role(s) you might be able to fill. With any luck, I’ll be able to get something together sooner rather than later, and then, with even more luck, you might have a chance to be there when I come face-to-face with…well…myself. And kill him. Me. Kind of. Unless we don’t. (AT LONG LAST, AVERRY’S NEUROTIC SELF-LOATHING FINDS ITS ULTIMATE EXPRESSION!)

Thanks for wading through all my babble here. And thanks, as always, for reading and hanging in there with me. I hope to hear from many of you soon.

Be seeing you,

Averry

36 Comments »

TWO YEARS OF THOUGHTS AND MUSINGS

Posted in General with tags blogging, blogiversary, dontrag, garona, kor'kron, merchandizing, presents, spazzle, WoW on August 28, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

Yeah, yeah, I know the blog’s been kind of quiet lately. Lots of stuff going on, so my schedule’s been a little too packed with round-the-clock BEING AWESOME to have as much time for blogging as I might like. Plus, where we left things, there’s still a story to finish that’s probably better told visually, and of course – timing being everything – Gurtash is having a flare-up from a hand injury, so that’s cut his doodle output WAY down. And yes, I know what you’re thinking, fourteen-year-old boy hurts his hand, huh? But no, this is pretty legit. See, he was— you know what, screw it, you’ll see for yourselves soon enough.

Anyhow. I wanted to break the silence today in order to recognize a milestone – the two-year anniversary of YOUR WARCHIEF’S COMMAND BOARD. The blog, I mean. The command boards around town have been up for, like, I don’t know, longer. But who cares about those, really, other than noobs. And people looking for guitar lessons, seeing as how half the time most of the boards are just covered with those ads with the little rip-off contact addresses. BUT I DIGRESS.

Point is, it was two years ago today that I made my first-ever blog post, and began to forever change the lives of YOU, MY LOYAL READERS AND MINIONS.

So, in light of the occasion today, and the big-fucking-deal it commemorates, I think we all know what this calls for. Yep, you guessed it, it’s time for all of you out there in Blog-Reading-Ville (no, Dontrag, that’s not a real place) to SEND YOUR WARCHIEF A PRESENT TO SHOW YOUR DAMN APPRECIATION. What, you think this thing doesn’t take time and effort? FUCK THAT. Don’t panic TOO much, though – I know I’m just springing this on you, so I won’t go sending the Kor’kron after any gift-deficient slackers until at least, like, Friday.

Hell, one of your peers has already gone ahead and beaten you to the punch. Check out what yours truly received in the mail just today as a blogiversary gift.

HOW’S THAT FOR FUCKING AWESOME, HUH? My very own badass action figure of my very own badass self! And let me tell you, they did NOT scrimp on the plastic on this thing. It seriously weighs like five pounds.

On the down side, this person also sent me one of these:

Yeah, terrific, get her going again. Super.

Still, they’re pretty cool. Maybe I should check with Spazzle about putting out an actual line of Command Board action figures. You can’t tell me THOSE wouldn’t fly off the shelves like hotcakes. If hotcakes were kept on shelves. But still. MERCHANDIZING, BITCHES.

More from me soon, once Gurtash’s damn hand finishes doing its best Lor’themar’s-Eye impression.

12 Comments »

Your Warchief wants YOU

Posted in General with tags garona, gifts from readers keep em coming, oblique references, propaganda, WoW on August 5, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

I know there’s lots of important stuff going on, but I just had to pause to share this. (Oh, and before you get too excited about the title, Garona, I wasn’t talking to YOU.)

One of my LOYAL READERS AND MINIONS put together the poster above as a gift for yours truly — not just the image itself, mind you, but a nice, big, professionally printed and matted sign that is, as we speak, hanging on my wall. Right next to my diploma. Or where my diploma would be if I had one. Fucking nerds.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the goodness. Next up, answers to all (well, some) of your pressing Varian-in-a-cave questions.

5 Comments »

Spazzle Speaks: Tours of Duty

Posted in Spazzle Speaks, Transcripts with tags bob, earth online, earthen ring, echo isles, faranell, gaming, guild chat, guilds, jaina proudmoore, ji firepaw, kalecgos, kor'kron, lor'themar, mokvar, razor hill, spazzle, sylvanas, thrall, vol'jin, WoW on July 31, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

A little Earth Online interlude while Garrosh spins his yarn from Pandaria…

You have logged on.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting. What kind of research, Leslie?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi baddie

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey mon.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its really pretty technical

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI MRBADCRUMBLE

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey everyone

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] probably pretty boring if its not what you do

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Greetings, Spazzle.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can try to explain some of it to you if you think it would help.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh I’m sure it’s fascinating.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol prof

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just got back from the echo isles a little while ago

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got a handle on it, prof, its my job after all

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’d care to elaborate, of course.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Certainly no intrusion intended if you prefer not to.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] working on Jaina again?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Tanks for checkin’ up on it for me, mon.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well yes, but i would imagine understanding the nielas vector hypothesis would be part of your job, too, and we’ve already established you don’t really have a handle on that.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Everyone needs a hobby. ^_^

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i do too

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: it’s fine

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u think your right about everything

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I had some business down there anyway

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] oh hardly.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i know my nielas vectors, though.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: hey

[Lorthemar] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] look, i supervise mages for a living, i would think i know about nielas vectors

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i would think you’d know about them, too.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so see? i’m not always right.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh whatever

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi lor

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: just had to be careful not to be seen by any kor’kron on the way

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, Lor mon.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I STILL WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF PROF

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i’ve said before, i read a lot.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Greetings, all!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] brb

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: You run into any trouble?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] HI LOR

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Lor’themar.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: not really

[Guild][Lorthemar] And how is everyone this fine evening?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey lor’themar

[Officer][Lorthemar] Good evening.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] doing ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How are you settling in on…the Isle of Thunder, is it?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] just missing my baby

[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes indeed.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Not badly at all. Setting up took some doing, but we had some good help on hand.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: there are more kor’kron in razor hill than there used to be

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] AWWW

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It’s good you were able to get your internet connection working from there.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I know our…esteemed Warchief has been having stability issues.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? I thought you two sat next to each other while you played.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Goodness, I just reread the last thing I said, and I must say it gave me quite the chuckle. ^_^

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I think after they rebuilt the inn, they used it as an excuse to ramp up security

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not right now

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, I know I would be lost without my connection.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I’ve noticed you really seem to be online, like, ALL the time

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] WE USUALLY DO

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’m away on business for a little while

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think I’ve logged on without you being here

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, that’s partly because, being undead, I don’t strictly need to sleep.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh, I see

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which frees up lots of online time.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] don’t you have work you need to do in the undercity, though?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh give ’em enough time, they be makin’ lots more places “secure.”

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] so for right now the game is a way for us to still hang out together a little

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, but I just take it with me everywhere.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Some of the warlocks worked out a way to project a likeness of my computer screen onto a writing tablet I carry around – an Eye Pad of Kilrogg, they call it.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] IT MAKES ME GLAD I STARTED PLAYING THIS GAME

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, I got down there without much trouble

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The name, I will admit, is inelegant. I may have marketing give it another pass.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] EVEN IF I’M STILL KIND OF A NOOB

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What’s da word from Trall?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: Ji?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok, sweetie, being a newbie might be a nice change of pace for you

[Guild][Lorthemar] You know, it’s a funny coincidence, I’m doing some traveling for work as well.

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] I know how dat goes, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: all clear so far

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] LOR’THEMAR

[Officer][Lorthemar] Yes?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dis game be a way for me ta talk ta people too.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: nobody seems to have noticed anything going on down there

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh wow small world

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -Don’t- say any more about what you’re doing.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Improbable though it would seem, I don’t think she realizes who you really are.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: which is kind of weird, considering it’s been months since they took out the kor’kron occupation

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Been tryin’ ta not talk too much fa real what wit I got a nasty sore troat dese days, mon.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Yeah, don’t remind me. I get that a lot.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, yes, there’s that.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i hope you feel better, bobby

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: While Garrosh still be in Pandaria, Eitrigg be da one mindin’ da store in Orgrimmar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But you’re also wasting a potential tactical advantage if you give away too much around her.

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!

[EdwardBear | Ji] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He be no friend a da changes Malkorok been makin’ in da Kor’kron.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Hey, grats, mon!

[Officer][Lorthemar] How do you mean?

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I just wish things would get back to normal again

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: or more normal at least

[Guild][Lorthemar] Congratulations, all!

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: sorry, leslie was running me and puff through an instance

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] THANKS DEAR

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] …Really?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Really what?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my pleasure sweetie =)

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i didn’t see your tell till just now

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Dey gonna get worse before dey get better, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji] ty leslie

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: it’s ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Has…nobody told you who Proudleslie is?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yw eddie

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I haven’t…

[Officer][Lorthemar] No, who is she?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: did you find anything out?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] OH WOW ONE MORE BUBBLE AND I’LL LEVEL TOO

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] oh boy

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Proudleslie is Jaina Proudmoore.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I talked to thrall, yeah

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] next thing u know your going to be all grown up!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: had to be careful not to give away too much

[Officer][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][Lorthemar] She’s…she’s… WHY??

[Officer][Lorthemar] WHY would we let her be in the guild?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what did he say?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] then i can get you all geared up and ready for big people adventures!

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Sylvanas convinced Garrosh to let her stay.

[Officer][Lorthemar] By convincing him we’re living in Upside Down Crazy Land??

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: the easiest place for you to reach the earthen ring is at the twilight citadel

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] I APPRECIATE ALL THE TIME YOU’VE BEEN SPENDING HELPING ME LEVEL

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: most of their heavy hitters are still over at the maelstrom, but they usually don’t let just anyone over there

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Regent-Lord, by pointing out that keeping her close, without her knowing who -we- are, puts us in a position to ply her for information that might be of use to us.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s that been working out for you, by the way?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww, anything for my baby

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Hush now. It’s an ongoing project.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate, Lor’themar, please try to be careful what you say

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: so your best bet is to head down to the twilight highlands

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i kinda like getting to take care of you here after everything you do for me

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] MY PLEASURE, M’LADY

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: they’ve been working on setting up again there since the twilight’s hammer was driven out

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ❤

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: what’s that?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, fine.

[Officer][Lorthemar] This is not good for my rage.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww thats my lil puffy magic dragon =)

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: what’s what?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] = )

[Officer][Lorthemar] And of course Garrosh took the anger management counselor with him to Pandaria.

[Officer][Lorthemar] To spite me, I’ll bet you anything.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] plus did i mention you look sexy as a fireman?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the twilight’s hammer

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] rawr 😉

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] To be fair, keeping an anger management specialist close to Garrosh is probably a wise move.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] she’s kind of got you there

[Officer][Lorthemar] *looks in guild chat*

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] long story

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i wish i could adequately impress upon you the sheer magnitude of the fact that you’re making *me* want to vomit.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh boo prof, havent u ever been in love before

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji] last year’s bad guys

[Officer][Lorthemar] I can’t believe this woman is beating me.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Anyway…

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: oh

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] as a matter of fact.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] what happened?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Let’s talk about something else before I get too annoyed.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] the scourge.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh =(

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] at any rate, i should log for now, i have some packing to do.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i really don’t know if it’s going to accomplish much going to them, though

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Be seein’ ya, mon!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] BYE PROF

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, speaking of which, do you know anything about what’s going on with Faranell?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] sorry if i brought up bad memories prof

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s worth a try

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I was going to ask you, actually.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] blah missed him

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All I know is that he’s going to Orgrimmar at the request of your Lady Liadrin.

[Officer][Lorthemar] That’s all I know as well.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if anyone will have any ideas about what happened to mokvar, it would be them

[Officer][Lorthemar] Liadrin told me she was requesting Faranell from you, but was rather dodgy about details.

[Officer][Lorthemar] I’d assumed she would have told you more.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: i hate to say it, but i think we might already know what happened to mokvar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not particularly, only that she had need of his alchemical skills for some of her work with the Dalaran refugees.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Don’t they have apothecaries in Orgrimmar?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] Tons over in the Valley of Spirits.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I raised that point myself. All she would say was that it’s a matter of some delicacy and she would prefer to call on someone she knows.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: it’s possible mokvar is really gone

[Officer][Lorthemar] It’s exhausting having our supposed underlings running around on their own like this.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Preaching to the choir, Regent-Lord.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he is, and i go, then he won’t be any more gone, and all i’ll have done is waste some of my own time

[Officer][Lorthemar] We need better minions.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We really do.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: if he’s not, and i don’t go, then it might cost us something more valuable

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: the only mistake would be not to act

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hmm, guild chat is quiet.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: believe me, I hope you find something.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: I’m just trying not to get my hopes up

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Jaina and Kalecgos are probably talking in tells.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: well either way, i should be back soon

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: i should get going

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: me too

[Officer][Lorthemar] I wonder what they’re talking about that’s so secret.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered: talk to you soon

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]: good luck

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Probably you.

You have logged off.

2 Comments »

Don’t blame the healer

Posted in Comics, General with tags garona, giska, gurtash, korrina, krasarang wilds, kulkesh, lok'osh, matron battlewail, orphan, orphanage, pandaria, ruekie, saurok, stop the presses garrosh has a soul, varian, WoW on July 26, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

It took a little doing, but eventually I got the DPS kids to fill in the rest of what had gone down after they’d sealed themselves in the cave. (I’m not going to stick Gurtash with having to do comic panels for every last word of it when we can just exposition our way over it, because seriously, that would burn through a TON of paper, and there’s only so much Ashenvale lumber on hand.) (For now.)

Like Gurtash and Giska were saying last time, they encountered saurok – multiple packs of them, actually – and did their best to fight them off while fleeing deeper into the caverns. By the time the saurok gave up pursuit, the kids were pretty far underground…and one fewer in number. Lok’osh – another orphan that Gurtash knew from Matron Battlewail’s place – got hacked up pretty badly in the fight, and while the rest of the kids managed to get him out of there with them, his injuries turned out to be too much for him.

He was a good kid. Quiet, but I guess that comes with being a rogue. I was maybe going to introduce him to Garona one day, except for the fact that, you know, who needs to be subjected to that, right? So maybe not. Anyway, moot point now. Unfortunately.

I decided to have the kids check our perimeter while I figured out our next move. There were two ways into the small chamber where they’d set up camp, and I’d just used one of them a short while before, so we knew that one was clear. So I had the batch of them chain their way down the other passageway to scout as far as they could. Standard procedure in unfamiliar territory, when you have limited numbers and want to play it conservative – one of them plants themselves in the passage, within sight of me, then the others spread out while going further. Each one in the chain goes as far as they can while still maintaining line of sight with the person before them. This way you cover the widest range, without anybody ever being in a position where the cavalry can’t be called in within ten seconds. Plus it would be giving them something to do to get their minds off Lok’osh and feel like they’re helping.

Korrina couldn’t get close enough to get a good look – I’m sure she would have tried, if they all weren’t under orders not to try to be a hero – but she was pretty sure she could see shadows moving further down the tunnel, and something seemed to be making some noise. I rounded the trainees up in the passageway and had them chain behind me while I went down to check it out – not even for the sake of them backing me up, really (spirits help me if I ever wind up needing the kids to save my ass), but mostly so they could call me back if something snuck up behind them. No surprise to anyone, Gurtash made a point of making himself the last link in the chain to me. As the passage started to widen into another room, I reminded him to keep me in sight, but also told him in no uncertain terms to stay back, no matter what. And down I went.

So…yeah, hold on to your hats for this one.

10 Comments »