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Chat log’d

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

log2

I’ve been sinking a lot of time into Earth Online this week, so I figured I’d toss up another one of these logs from <Warchief> guild chat.  We’ve been getting some new members joining, so that’s good, although now that it’s not just a bunch of people I know in real life, I’m having to be a little more careful about RL info.  You know how it is.  Actually, you probably don’t, seeing as most of you aren’t famous and important and shit like I am.  Anyway, point being, I figure it will save us all some headaches in-game if everyone doesn’t know I’m Garrosh, or Sylvanas is Sylvanas, or…well, we’re the only ones who really matter, honestly.  But you get the point.

 

You have logged on.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Dammit!

[Guild][Metzen]  UGH

[Guild][Proudleslie]  well at least we were closer that time

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey chief

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hey

[Guild][Metzen]  did you get all the interrupts there?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yeah, I did.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  greetings sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hey Gil

[Guild][Metzen]  are you sure?  it looked like he got one off at the end right when livin & i died

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  No, I got all of them.

[Guild][Metzen]  it’s not showing up in the logs

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Let’s just finish running back, and we can argue about it later.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  What are you guys running?

[Guild][Proudleslie]  heroic cc

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  ComicCon heroic

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Last boss

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Ah, okay, the comic dealer guy is kind of tough

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  So we’re finding.

[Guild][Metzen]  yeah

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  All right, let’s get healed up and rebuffed.

[Nightengayle | Garona] has logged on.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey gayle

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  hello nighten

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ugh thank goodness

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  What’s wrong?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  It’s you guys and the new people in there, right?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yeah.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  I got hacked

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  oh damn

[Guild][Metzen]  oh yikes that sucks

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  not me

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Me, Mokvar, Metzen, and Proudleslie, yes.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Right, I didn’t mean you, Spaz

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  did you lose anything, gayle?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  don’t think so

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  looks like they restored everything

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  How are they doing?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Not bad.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  but I don’t think whoever hacked me was trying to steal stuff

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  why?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Fairly well, I’d say.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  well my toon is stuck out here in the middle of nowhere

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  egypt I think

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  weird

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Metzen’s a little pull-happy, seems like he just can’t stand to wait a couple seconds to start a new fight.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  The paramedic isn’t playing *badly*, although she seems to have kind of a low active time.

[Guild][Metzen]  yeah that is odd

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  and if they just wanted to steal my stuff you would figure they’d have me parked by a post office

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hmm yeah

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’m not sure if she’s just learning a new rotation or distracted or what.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  do you want me to do a little looking for you?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  sure

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  But they’re staying out of the bad and stuff like that?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  As far as I can tell, yeah.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  kk I’m going to e-mail you with a couple pieces of info I’ll need you to look up for me, then I can poke around a little

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ok

[Guild][Metzen]  oh damn, badcrumble’s like some master computer guy huh?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Dude, you have no idea

[Guild][Metzen]  maybe he’s the one that hacked her haha

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Okay, let’s try this again.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Nah, he wouldn’t do that

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Plus he would be too busy reading comic books or something

[Guild][Metzen]  haha nerd

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  …

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Heh… Yeah maybe, but he’s our nerd

[Guild][Metzen]  lol

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Metzen, attention over here now please.

[Guild][Metzen]  ok

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Let me know how it goes this time through

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I know that fight can be a pain in the ass

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Good luck

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Thanks.

[Dranosh | Utvoch] has logged on.

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  hey guys

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  um…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  wtf

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  …

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Dude

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  ?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  What the hell is up with your name?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  damn your an idiot

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  oh yeah i did a paid name change

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I get that

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  figured i might as well get rid of the generic name and get a real one

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Right, and that’s fine

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  that’s not the point

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  But THAT name?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  yeah

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  NOT COOL, dude

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  totally not cool

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch] um ok?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  /headdesk

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  sigh

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  NO

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  It is NOT “ok”

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  what’s wrong with this name?

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  it means heart of draenor in orcish

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT IT FUCKING MEANS

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  do you not know whose name that is?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  really really not cool

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  that’s really disrespectful

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  do you like know someone with this name?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  head

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  desk

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Um, YEAH

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  you think he would mind or something?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And he was killed by the Lich King

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  he died

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  OH

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  crap

[Guild][Proudleslie]  damnit

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  BAH

[Guild][Metzen]  fuckkkk

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  ok ok i’ll go change it back

[Guild][Dranosh | Utvoch]  be back later

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  still no luck?

[Dranosh | Utvoch] has logged off.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Well they’re not talking to…never mind

[Guild][Proudleslie]  no

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  What’s killing you?

[Guild][Metzen]  hey was that guys toon named after saurfangs kid?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah

[Guild][Metzen]  that’s totally not cool

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  INORITE?

[Guild][Metzen]  lights sake

[Guild][Metzen]  I dont know what the hell is wrong with some people

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’m not sure.  It’s the same as last time; we seemed to be doing fine, and then the whole attempt fell apart.

[Guild][Metzen]  i have a son myself, and if something happened to him i would be PISSED if someone went around using his name

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I can imagine, Metzen

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Not cool at all

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yeah, the boss just started one-shotting everyone.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I think it’s some kind of enrage.

[Guild][Proudleslie]  its really frustrating

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Anyway

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You’re using the superhero buffs, right?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yeah.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Yes.

[Guild][Proudleslie]  if you want to swap me out for a better healer I’ll understand

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  I’m getting the utility belt, LivinDead is getting the golden lasso

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I don’t think it’s a healing issue, Leslie.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Metzen’s getting the green power ring

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  who has the web shooters?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Wrong faction.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  That’s one of the other faction’s buffs.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  lol in my other guild we do the marvel ones

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, so you’ve got the buffs covered

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You know what to do when he casts Zero Hour, right?

[Guild][Metzen]  run out

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Get away from him till he finishes channeling, yeah.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Well yeah, run out

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh wait a minute

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Are we missing something?

[Guild][Proudleslie]  mmmm yea you like when I do that?

[Guild][Proudleslie]  oops sorry mistell!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  …

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  wut

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  um

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  OKAY MOVING ON

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I suppose that might account for her low active time…

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Just watch, she’s a human…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So yeah, you have to get out when he’s casting, but then you’ve got to get back to where you started the fight and retrace your steps

[Guild][Metzen]  huh

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Ah, I think I’ve heard of this mechanic.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  It’s kind of a dance

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I just didn’t realize it was this fight.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, basically the game remembers all your movements for each cycle

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Any time you make a mistake retracing your steps, you get this stacking debuff called Retcon

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So every time the comic dealer does the Zero Hour reset, you have to get back to where you started

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  If your Retcon debuff stacks too high, his Nerdrage timer goes off and yeah, pretty much wipes the group right off

[Guild][Metzen]  ahhh

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  This makes a lot more sense now.

[Guild][Proudleslie]  it doesnt seem too hard

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Must…resist…easy…joke

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  haha

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  -sigh-  Men.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Okay, rebuff and let’s get this done.

[Guild][Metzen]  kk

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey gayle, still there?

[Lorthemar] has logged on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  yes

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  so I did a little tracing on the logins for your account

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  you’re not going to believe this

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Greetings, all!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  what?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  hi lorthemar

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  hey whos the new guy?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  well I think I’ve tracked down who the hacker was

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  It wasn’t Sylvanas, was it?  Please tell me it wasn’t Sylvanas

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  actually since he brought it up, who IS the new guy?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Friend of Sylvanas

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  …

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  who?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  the new guy, lorthemar

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  no not that who

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  the hacker who

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  the hacker who what?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  check this out

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The hacker who HACKS YOUR SKULL INTO LITTLE TINY BITS if you don’t SHUT UP

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I’m pretty sure your account was hacked by brann bronzebeard

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  sorry sir

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  omg

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Brann Bronzebeard, the explorer?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  wow thats fucked up

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No, Brann Bronzebeard the district attorney.  OF COURSE the explorer

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  yeah, I double and triple checked on this

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Oh wow.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  the suspicious logins were all coming in through a wireless network very few people use

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  since when is brann bronzebeard a hacker?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh, man, that dude could NEVER resist poking around places he doesn’t belong

[Metzen] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!

[Proudleslie] has earned the achievement [Heroic: Comic Con]!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  grats!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  grats

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Congratulations, all!

[Guild][Metzen]  whew

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Well that was much easier.

[Guild][Proudleslie]  woot!

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  And of course…he drops teacher gear.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh dammit!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  lol

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  anyway gayle, I’ll send you what I found in case you want to contact support about it

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  The itemization is far from ideal, but I might take it to play around with for off-sepc.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ok thanks

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Sure, all yours.

[Guild][Metzen]  its just a pawn shop voucher to the rest of us

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Anyway, though, grats guys

[Guild][Proudleslie]  ty pwn! =)

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Thanks.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  See, all you needed was the intervention of my SUPREME BRILLIANCE

[Guild][Metzen]  oh good, now he’s going to be even more full of himself

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  lol

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh you have no idea

[Guild][Metzen]  hey speaking of which

[Guild][Metzen]  how many guild leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh boy, here we go

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  haha

[Guild][Lorthemar]  How many?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Thanks for the help, though, Garrosh, really.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No biggie

[Guild][Metzen]  just one – he holds it still, and the whole world revolves around him

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  haha

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  lol

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Fuck you, Metzen

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  i dont get it

[Guild][Metzen]  lmao

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Haha

[Guild][Metzen]  just kidding – I’m kind of in charge at my job irl so I know what a pain it can be

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, it’s cool

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I mean, joking around is cool

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Being in charge of stuff not so much sometimes

[Guild][Metzen]  yeah but then, who knows what idiot would be making a mess of everything otherwise

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Hmm.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I like this guy.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yeah, he seems pretty good.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hmm what?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh nothing.

[Guild][Metzen]  anyway i should probably get going

[Guild][Metzen]  need to go pick my son up at the priest trainers

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Just a passing thought.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Huh.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  k metzen

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  cya

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  What?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Later man

[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Why are you being all cryptic all of a sudden

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Farewell!

[Metzen] has logged off.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Never mind, don’t mind me.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Probably nothing.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  brb

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  no I’m just logging on now

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  hey man

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  um…yeah you are

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  why the ‘no’?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  someone said farewell when i came on

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Have you people seriously not figured out not to ask him to explain when he says something fucked up?

[Guild][Lorthemar]  That was me, but I wasn’t talking to you.

[Guild][Lorthemar]  That was for Metzen.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  oh

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  oh ok

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  oh hey are you new?

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Um…not really.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  huh ok

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  so anyway i changed my name back

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  obviously

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  so yeah that was some wasted gold

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  probably for the best, though

[Guild][Proudleslie]  mmmmmm yea shoot it all over me

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  yeah i guess

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  omg

[Guild][Proudleslie]  omg so so so sorry mistell!!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  …

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  lol wut

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  HEY HEY HEY HEY

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  TAKE THAT SHIT TO SECOND AZEROTH IF THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  what did i miss

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Wow…just…wow.

[Guild][Proudleslie]  soooooo sorry!!!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  you want us to answer that chronologically or in order of magnitude?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  The fuck is wrong with people, seriously

[Proudleslie] has logged off.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Welcome to the internet…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay so on THAT note

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  no seriously what did i miss

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I should get going in a minute.  I need to help my mom with something

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  ok boss

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  ya i was just helping ur mom with something

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, because

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  um…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hold it

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  …

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Oh no

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hang on a minute

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  ok so even i know that was kind of dumb

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So I realize that “ha ha I fucked your mom ha ha” jokes are like the bread and butter of chat line retards all over the internet

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  is it weird that I’m not even in the same room as him and I’m seriously looking for something to hide behind?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  But usually when you say that shit, you’re not saying it to, you know, somebody who KNOWS WHERE YOU FUCKING LIVE

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  lol

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Right there with ya, Spaz.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  and can GET THERE in like TEN MINUTES

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  sorry sir

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  wont happen again

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah you better believe it won’t, fuckwit

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Please don’t take offense, but are you all sure you’re really friends?

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Because, well…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No, not at all

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Welcome to the guild, by the way.  Not sure if we’ve properly met

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  i think he just joined

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Um…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  ANYWAY, as I was saying

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  My mom’s been saying she’d like to go to Grom’s monument in Ashenvale

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And I’ve got a bunch of stuff I need to get done here the next couple days

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yeah, that makes sense if she hasn’t been there.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  But I’m going to try to clear things out so we can take a trip over there during the weekend

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So I should probably go take care of some of that

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  kk boss, see you later

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  back

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  cya

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  l8r sir

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  sorry again

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  bye sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Later people

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And Dontrag

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  yes sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Sleep lightly

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  haha

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  pwned lol

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Take it easy, chief.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Spazzle, did you say you can track IP addresses from logins?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  yup

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’d like you to check something for me if you don’t mind.

You have logged off.

4 Comments »

Welcome to [Warchief]

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 30, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

I’m back in Orgrimmar.  After we wrapped up things in Garadar, I took sort of a leisurely trip by land to Shattrath with Lakkara.  From there we took one of the portals to Orgrimmar.  You should have seen the look on my mother’s face the first time she came up with me from the Cleft of Shadow and saw the Valley of Strength.

Since then I’ve been showing her around Orgrimmar and a little of Durotar.  At first I figured I was going to take her on this whirlwind tour around Kalimdor and show her everything, but I forget ALL of this is TOTALLY new to her, so it’s probably better to take our time and give her a chance to take it all in.  Even little things, like the fact that she hadn’t ever really seen trolls before.  Or Forsaken, for that matter…although she was a lot less freaked out over seeing them walking around town than I figured she would be.  I guess she just feels for anybody who’s had a rough time of it.  Anyway, for the time being I have her set up with her own quarters here in Grommash Hold, upstairs.

While she’s been getting settled and resting, I’ve had a chance to hop back online and get some Earth Online time.  The guild had gotten off to a slow start, since I ended up having a lot of distractions keeping me from the game, but I think we’re starting to get things together.  Spazzle also set me up with this thing that lets me log our in-game guild chat, so I’m going to try using it here and give you guys a peek at what we’ve been up to.  He even had some add-on that let me tag players in the game with their real names (or whatever names I want to label them with) so both names show up in the game chat.  Makes it easier for me to keep things straight sometimes, but I figure it’ll make these logs a hell of a lot easier for you all to make sense of.

Anyway, here goes:

 

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So Spaz, how are things coming along on the guild web site?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Don’t we already have a web site?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yes and no

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  We have a site that we use, but it’s not totally ours

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]   How’s that?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  you know, it’s one of those prefab ones you can get at a host site.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  they’re fine and all, they give you the basics of what you need, but they don’t give you a whole lot of room to customize

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  or for that matter even really have direct control of the site

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  which is fine if you’re just wanting something to get started with, or if you just don’t have someone who knows web design

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Which obviously we do

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  this way I can custom build it, and have direct control over security, track IP addresses, etc.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, and after all the trouble I’ve been having on the blog the last month or so, I want us to have more control of the guild site

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Ahh, got it.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So how’s it coming along?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  pretty well

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I think it should be up and running pretty soon

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  sorry it’s been taking so long, but I ended up losing a bunch of time getting the blog secured again after all the hacking that was going on

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So you finally have that locked down now?

[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  yeah, I think so.  I set up a much tougher firewall

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  it should be a LOT harder for anyone to get through it

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  a firewall wtf?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  we’re got walls of fire here now?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No, not like that

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Hey Dontrag.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  no, this is utvoch

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  hey though

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  I always get them mixed up.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  it’s a firewall for Garrosh’s blog

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  If it makes you feel any better, I usually have to keep a little crib sheet on me

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I still slip up every so often

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  we’re not going to have to start farming fire resist gear now, are we?

[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged on.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  server back up?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  sup Dontrag

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No, it’s not a firewall like that

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Not in the game

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  no, not dontrag, this is utvoch, i just said

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  no, not you

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  He wasn’t talking to you.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  walls of fire?  are we doing one of the burning building scenarios?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  Dontrag just logged on

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  oh i missed that

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  shouldnt we maybe recruit someone who plays a fire fighter before we try one of those

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  “oh i missed that” he says – I bet he gets tired of having to say that

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  lol

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  haha

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No, we’re not talking about BB scenarios.  It’s a firewall Spazzle set up for my blog

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  you have a blog?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  hah

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  ah ok

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Um, yes, I do

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Didn’t he write in for one of your mailbags, too?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  https://commandboard.wordpress.com

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, he did

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  haha, that’s great.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  lol

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Clearly you and I have very different notions of “great”

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  oh cool

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  i will make a point of reading it, sir

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  are you sure you want them reading it?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  as will i, great gl/warchief sir

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I mean, you kind of make fun of them a lot on it, call them stupid, etc.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I don’t say anything on the blog that I wouldn’t say to their faces

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Watch

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Also you’re assuming they would get half of the jabs he takes at them.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Dontrag

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Utvoch

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has logged on.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You guys know you’re fucking idiots, right?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  lol

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  yes, sir

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  yes sir

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  sorry sir

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Ah, I see our esteemed Warchief is once again demonstrating his inimitable leadership skills.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  great apologies, sir

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  i’m doing my best to remedy my failings with my extension courses, sir

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  morning, dark lady

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hey, we don’t all have the benefit of having all our underlings auto-brainwashed and under our thrall, Sylvanas

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  By the way, what’s up with your names, you two?  They seem kind of…generic.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Good day, Utvoch.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  You wound me yet again, Warchief.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  yeah we both just used one of the randomly generated names

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  no this is dontrag

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  wait, under thrall?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  is thrall coming back?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  you kind of walked right into that one, boss

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No.  Thrall isn’t coming back

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I know

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Who told them about this guild again?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  thrall said he was coming back?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  when was this?  i missed it

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  lol

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Thrall

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Is not

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Coming back

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  You could not pay me to be Warchief, honestly.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  ah okay, if you say so, sir

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  truly it is a blessing that the horde has such an embarrassment of riches in our leadership

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  We have an embarrassment, all right

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So hey, while you guys are here and Sylvanas is on

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I was thinking it might be good to make her an officer

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  For real?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  she was the one who was hacking into the blog, wasn’t she?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  well one of them

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, yeah, I know.  But hear me out

[Nightengayle | Garona] has logged on.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Good morning, Garona.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  morning garona

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  First off, even though she did hack into the blog, I have to give her props for the way she shut Varian down

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  hi BQ.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  hi dontrag.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  yeah, that was pretty funny

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  No, that’s Utvoch.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  She’s been playing this game for a while and knows a bunch of the classes really well, plus she DID server transfer just to join this guild

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  no its not

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  is it?  damn I thought I got it right this time.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  no, you got it right

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  that is true, she did

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  i’m dontrag

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  he’s utvoch

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yeah.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Are you sure?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Plus, you know, I’ve been thinking lately, maybe I’ve been a little too hard on her.  I mean, to be fair, being tortured to death has to do a number on you

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  i think we know who we are

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I would think you would know you are, as well.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  If you think so.  It probably wouldn’t be a bad gesture, since she’s the de facto leader over in Eastern Kingdoms.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Apparently, however, there is some uncertainty in the matter.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  now you’re just messing with them lol.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  ^_^

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah that too.  And also as far as the hacking goes, I think maybe if we put her on the inside, she might be less likely to want to try messing with things

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yeah, maybe.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hmm yeah

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  so what are you guys up to?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  well, if you think so, boss, it’s your call

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I need to jet in a little while, though.  I have to go meet up with my cousin Khizzara

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  it’s new comic book day down at the shop!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Just sorting out some day trading.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  d and i are just sparring outside washington

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  we should probably get back to leveling though

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  kk Spazzle

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  yeah, me too.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  what level are you guys?

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has been promoted to the rank Officer.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  34

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  grats!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  33 here

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  ^_^

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Thank you, dear Guild Leader.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  grats BQ.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  welcome aboard, sylvanas

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Thank you!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No problem, Sylvanas.  I figure you know the game well, plus, you know, it’s always nice to actually have someone with a few IQ points in a leadership position

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  you know in my other guild over on palin I’m an officer too, as a matter of fact.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Indeed.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  anyway, hate to greet and run, but I have get going

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Take care, Spazzle.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  anyway boo, you guys are too high level for me.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  was going to say we should group up.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  unless you want to run a lvl 19 nurse through a couple lowbie instances… ❤

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I appreciate your trust, good GL, and will of course do my best to serve the guild well.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  gotta run for a little while, guys.  back later!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  i guess we could, sure

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  cya spazzle

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Later, Spazzle.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ❤

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Going quiet for a few, everyone, need to get this quest done for my class trinket

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has logged off.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  bye spazzle

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  damn, missed him

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Before you get too far into your quest, Garrosh, would it be all right if I invited a friend to the guild?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  He’s fairly new to the game, but I’m sure he’ll learn quickly.  Plus he doesn’t really get out a lot, so it might be nice for him to have some new people to interact with.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, that should be fine

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  where should we meet you garona

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Anyway, busy for a few

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  I’m over in moscow now.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  I have a couple quests to do in the kremlin if we could do that.

[Lorthemar] has joined the guild.

[Lorthemar] has been promoted to the rank Recruit.

[Lorthemar] has been promoted to the rank Member.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  ok

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Welcome, Lorthemar.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Welcome!

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Thank you!

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Greetings, guildmates!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  sup

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  who’s the new guy?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  o.O

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Lor’themar Theron, at your service!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh so I guess you just didn’t have enough characters to put the last name on your toon?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  I think there’s a mod you can use to get around that.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  oh hey is that supposed to be like whats her face from the quest chain?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Who?

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Well…no.  That’s just my name.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  that npc, another theron i think

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  charlize?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Charlize, yeah.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  No, but wait, no, that’s not what he’s going for.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  oh wow so you’re into like that total immersion thing, huh?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  yeah thats her

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  she’s in a few in-game cinematics too.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Not many of those are really worth watching, though.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  is your toon supposed to be related to her or something?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Ugh, too much RP.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  they are as long as you turn off your speakers

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  …

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  just sayin

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I’m a little confused.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I must admit, I’m a little baffled as well.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  it’s okay, the game throws a lot at you at once, it gets easier to keep track of once you play a little.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  why, BQ?  you’ve been playing this game longer than me.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  No…not like that.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Lorthemar is literally THE Lor’themar Theron.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  ok…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  right, he said that

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  and…?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] …

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  What?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Lor’themar Theron.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Regent Lord of Quel’thalas.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  not ringing any bells

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  The leader of the blood elves.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  If you say so.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  wait, didn’t we kill him a couple years ago?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Never mind.

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I really am confused now.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  No, that was…you know what, forget it.  Welcome to the guild, Lor’themar.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  yeah i’m starting to get a little lost too

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, back

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And check this out

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  wb.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Checking.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  welcome back sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So I was doing my teacher class quest to upgrade my gradebook trinket

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And I finish the quest, and since I was in an instanced inner city school zone, when I zone out I’m PVP flagged, right?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So this random guy sees me and decides he’s going to try and gank me.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Only now I’ve got my shiny new trinket, and I blow all my upgraded lesson buffs at once, and BAM, drop the scrub like a freshman-year undeclared pre-med major

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  haha awesome

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Welcome back, Garrosh.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  woot

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And I’m all doing a /detention emote on him like “WHAM!  You got SCHOOLED, bitch!”  haha

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  haha

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I’m not sure I really follow all that, but I’m sure it was a glorious victory, Warchief.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  They don’t call me Omgipwnedurface for nothing

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  indeed sir

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  they call you that because you entered it on the character creation screen

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Speaking of triumphant returns, by the way, I heard a rumor that Thrall was coming back.  Is it true?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Um okay

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  OMG not that again

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  yeah i heard someone talking about that earlier too

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Really?  Thrall’s returning?  Do you know anything about when?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Seems he’s being very cagey about the details.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Sylvanas, why do you insist on confusing the stupid?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  huh interesting

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  yeah sounds like he’s trying to keep it hush hush

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Sorry, dear Warchief.  It’s just so easy!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  didn’t garrosh already say that wasn’t happening?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  And it’s so fun to drop heavy things on the fools’ heads.  They make such an entertaining splat.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  yeah he did but people are still talking about it so i dont know

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hang on brb

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  that could just be thralls cover story too

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I must admit, history isn’t terribly promising when it comes to leaders who allegedly are gone for good.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay peeps

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah thats true, like everyone said we killed you a couple years ago and here you are back again

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I need to log off for a little while

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  My mom wants me to get off the computer

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  bye garrosh

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Plus she’s only been in Orgrimmar a day so I should make sure she’s not going to get lost or something

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  cya sir

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  l8r

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Be well, Warchief.  Give my best to Mother Hellscream!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Later guys

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  So…is it always like this?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  You really don’t read the blog, do you?

You have logged off.

6 Comments »

Of wyverns and pine cones

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 29, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

Just dropped by the Sanctuary of Malorne on my way around Mount Hyjal and paid a visit to Hamuul Runetotem, who’s overseeing the reforestation efforts there.  I brought a few men with me for the trip, including Mokvar, so, y’know, transcript incoming…

 

GARROSH:  Hamuul, I’m glad you’re doing better these days.

HAMUUL:  As compared to being burned alive, or as compared to crawling out from under a pile of my friends’ corpses in a mass grave?

GARROSH:  Um…yes?

HAMUUL:  I’ve been worse.

GARROSH:  Uh…yeah.  So while I’m here, I wanted to—

Mylune, an overly energetic dryad, scampers in and starts hugging Mortimer frantically.  Mortimer appears generally confused but doesn’t put up much of a fight.

MYLUNE:  Ohhhhhhhh aren’t you just the cutest thing?!  You’re a good wittle wyvern, aren’t you?  Yes you are!  Yes you are!  Ohhhhhhhh you’re so precious!

GARROSH:  Um, what’s this?

HAMUUL:  That’s Mylune, one of the Guardians.  She’s been helping with the recovery up at the Grove of Aessina and here at the Regrowth…

MYLUNE:  So furry and handsome and such a good boy!  Yes you are!  You are!  Oh yes you are, Mr. Wyvern…

GARROSH:  Is she always like this?

MYLUNE:  OOH!  Now don’t be like that, Mr. Bitey-Pants, you know Autie Luney just want to wuv you!  Like this!

She squeezes her arms around Mortimer extra tight, despite his growing efforts to pull away.

HAMUUL:  <long pause>  Yes.

GARROSH:  Oh.

HAMUUL:  Mmhmm.

GARROSH:  Well then.

MYLUNE:  …with your scruffy-wuffy mane and your handsome coat and – OOH, what big teeth you have, now I told you, Mr. Wyvern…

GARROSH:  Look, if you have to drive him bonkers, could you at least just call him by his actual name and not this Mr. Wyvern crap?

MYLUNE:  <squeezing Mortimer giddily>  Oooooh, what’s his name?

GARROSH:  His name is Mortimer, and—

MYLUNE:  <holding Mortimer by his face and wiggling it side to side>  Oh that’s a funny name, isn’t it Mr. Mortimer?  Isn’t it?  <nodding Mortimer’s head in her hands>  Yes it is!  Yes it is!

GARROSH:  Can you STOP that?  And what the hell’s wrong with his name?

MYLUNE:  Ohhh… <eyes go creepily wide>  Is he your wyvern, Mr. Warchief?

GARROSH:  Yes, why do you—OOF!

In one rapid motion, Mylune releases Mortimer, grabs Garrosh, and clasps him to her bosom, swaying side to side energetically.

MYLUNE:  Ohhhh aren’t wyverns just that most wonderful, flappytastical creatures?!

GARROSH:  <wriggling around to try to pull away, without much success>  THE FUCK is your problem?!

MYLUNE:  Such beautiful, wonderful, majestic creatures of the sky!  <eyes glistening happily>  They’re just so magnificent!  And you have one of your very own!

GARROSH:  Uh, Mokvar, a little help here?

MOKVAR:  Too busy writing, boss.

GARROSH:  DAMMIT, MOKVAR!

MYLUNE:  <still swaying side to side with Garrosh clasped to her bosom>  Oh I wish I had a wyvern friend of my very own!  I would hug and pet him and squeeze him and love him and I would call him George!

GARROSH:  The fuck, you’re giving him shit for “Mortimer,” but apparently “George” is—

MYLUNE:  Ohhhhhh and I would love him so much!  You’re so so lucky to have a wyvern friend of your very very own, Mr. Orc!

Mylune keeps Garrosh pressed against her with one arm while grabbing Mortimer again with the other, and pulls the wyvern to her despite its plaintive yelps.

MYLUNE:  The very very bestest of furry flappy friends!  It’s just so beautiful!

GARROSH:  <finally pulls out of her grip>  What. THE FUCK.  Is your DAMAGE?  And will you STOP squeezing him like that, before you squish his head or something?  He’s already kind of skittish from getting beaten as it is!

MYLUNE:  <stares at Garrosh with eyes welling up with tears>  He…he was beaten?

GARROSH:  <exasperated sigh>  Yeah, he was, and he was stuck on the long haul from Silithus to Winterspring before I—

MYLUNE:  Ohhhhhhh that poor sweet fuzzy growly thing, you mean he’s a rescue wyvern too?!

GARROSH:  I…Well so to speak, now that you mention it there were a couple times in Stonetalon and then in Twilight High—GAH!!!

With a sudden, gleeful squeal, Mylune releases Mortimer and grabs Garrosh with both hands, pulling him to her and planting a big, loud kiss on him before hugging him tightly.

MYLUNE:  Oh thank you, Mr. Orc!  Thank for saving the poor dear sweet beautiful wyvern from harm!  So so much!  Oh it makes me so happy!

GARROSH:  <gasping and spitting>  THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, LADY?!  And why do you taste like fucking pine cones?!

MYLUNE:  <keeps rocking back and forth hugging Garrosh against her>  Ohhh silly Mr. Orcie!  Doesn’t it just make you feel all warm and gooey inside knowing you’ve made a poor innocent animal safe and happy!

GARROSH:  <spits again>  Seriously, pine cones!  Hell, I’m half surprised you don’t taste like fucking maple syrup!

MYLUNE:  Why?  Did Jaina say something?

GARROSH:  Why would…okay, you know what, I’m not even going to.  Fuck it.  And… <shoves her away forcefully and steps back>  STOP.  FUCKING.  GRABBING PEOPLE.  Fucking hell, Hamuul, how do you put up with this shit?

HAMUUL:  <long pause>  With copious ale and quiet resignation.

GARROSH:  And hey, you’re a druid, right?

HAMUUL:  There have been rumors to that effect.

GARROSH:  Um…okay.  So listen, dude, whatever you do, don’t go into one of your animal forms around this chick, you know?

HAMUUL:  I know.

GARROSH:  Because seriously, if she—

HAMUUL:  No.  You don’t understand.  I know.

GARROSH:  …Ah.

HAMUUL:  Mmhmm.

MYLUNE:  Oh Hamuul, don’t you be all Mr. Grumpyhooves just because you’re an extra super cuddly kitty cat!

GARROSH:  Seriously, shouldn’t you be up in Silvermoon pledging a sorority and dotting your I’s with little hearts or something?

MYLUNE:  Oh no, silly Mr. Warchief, I never dot my I’s with hearts!

GARROSH:  Why do I get the feeling…

MYLUNE:  I wouldn’t want the other poor letters to feel like I don’t love them too!

GARROSH:  …Yep.

HAMUUL:  It’s been…a slow process here.

MYLUNE:  Ohhhhhh look, a woodchuck!  Isn’t he the sweetest and pudgiest and woodchuckerest little darling ever?

GARROSH:  It’s like if Dontrag and Utvoch had a kid.  Made of pink.

HAMUUL:  Who?

GARROSH:  Count yourself lucky.

MYLUNE:  <hugging the woodchuck, who seems none too thrilled about the situation>  So furry and cuddly and squirmy and fuzzy and SQUEE!

GARROSH:  Hey, listen, Miley or whatever the fuck your name is, did you hear about the fires in Ashenvale?

MYLUNE:  What?  Fires?

GARROSH:  Yeah, there was a huge fire in Ashenvale.  All the deer and squirrels and bear cubs and…like…chipmunks with funny hats that you probably have a conniption over, they all fucking BURNED.

MYLUNE:  <wide-eyed shock>  They…they…

GARROSH:  <aside to Runetotem>  That oughta shut her up for a while.

HAMUUL:  I don’t know if you thought this through.

MYLUNE:  The…cute little animals…burned…?

Mylune’s eyes well up with tears, she throws her head back, and she starts to wail despondently.  Her near-deafening crying grows louder and higher-pitched, climbing in octaves into a piercing screech.  After a few seconds, her voice becomes inaudible, but she continues standing in place, visibly crying.  A moment later, wolves begin howling in the distance.

GARROSH:  Uh oh.

HAMUUL:  As I said.

GARROSH:  I…should maybe get going.

HAMUUL:  Probably.

GARROSH:  Yeah.  I think I need to go stab a bunny or something.

HAMUUL:  Thanks for making light of things being burned alive, by the way.  That was thoughtful.

Awkward.

 

You know, I’m starting to wonder if I should just stop bringing Mokvar places, because seriously, every time I have him with me it seems like some idiotic shit keeps happening.

I still have more work do to here in Hyjal, but I’m in no mood to deal with it after all that bullshit, so I think I’m just going to go check in at Nordrassil and try to do some writing to relax before I get going again.  I still have a new EPIC VERSE to finish up (no, I haven’t forgotten) so hopefully I’ll get that up for you guys pretty quick.  Stay tuned.

And fucking hell.  Seriously.

“I don’t know what he was complaining about. He tasted like cheap beer and arrested development.”

11 Comments »

Conversations with crazy people

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

So back to business.  Now that some of the holiday festivities are behind us, it’s about time I fill you all in on what’s been going on with this whole phylactery business.

Like I was saying a few days ago, after Garona and I captured Skarr we brought him back to Stonemaul Hold and held him for questioning for a while.  Good thing is that it ended up not taking too much to get some partial answers out of him.  Mokvar was on hand to record the interrogation, so I’ve copied a part below so you can see how things went.  I cut out some early stuff with Skarr just being generally crazy before we started getting actual information, but I think you’ll get the idea.

 

GARONA:  I’m not sure we’re getting anywhere.  Do you think we should bring in that ogre from Brackenwall?

GARROSH:  Draz’Zilb?  No, that won’t work here.

GARONA:  Why not?  It got you what you needed from that Grimtotem.

SKARR:  Foolish bulls, cows, grazing in the woods, running around and back and forth, chasing their tails, they look for Skarr, they look, but no, they never find him, stupid cows, never look the right way in front of behind them and see…

GARROSH:  First of all, Draz’Zilb’s voodoo mojo thingy was all about forcing the prisoner to come face to face with their greatest fears until they give in just out of self-preservation.

GARONA:  So?

GARROSH:  You think self-preservation is the way to go with a lunatic?  A lunatic working for the Old Gods, for that matter?  Either he’s crazy enough to think they’re going to spare him…

SKARR:  Preserved, yes, kept for the masters, held for them, alive, alive, need Skarr alive, all of us alive until we all die, die for the masters, die in glory, die in flame, HAHA!

GARROSH:  …or he knows he’s going to end up dead.  And signed on for it anyway.  Either way, we’re not dealing with a normal mind here.

SKARR:  Haha, you talk like Skarr not here!  Skarr knows!  Skarr mind have more than you think, Skarr almost outsmart so smart you think, you think, you…you… <stares>

GARROSH:  Besides…Draz’Zilb’s thing will kill him.

SKARR:  HAH!  Kill!  Kill!  All around, blackness all, all awaiting.  It comes, it comes, crawling, swarming…

GARONA:  I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing.

SKARR:  Death comes for you all.  HAHA!

GARROSH:  No.  We want this one alive.  He’s not just some random foot soldier.

SKARR:  Stupid foolish cows.

Garrosh leans in close, staring into Skarr’s face.

GARROSH:  There’s something in there.

GARONA:  We’ll get it.

Skarr grins wide and lets out a crazed laugh.

GARROSH:  But before too long the Twilights are going to know he’s gone missing, and it’s not going to take a whole lot of brain power to figure out where he went.  Hell, with all the spies they seem to have, they might already know.

SKARR:  Stupid orcses, think you so smart, Skarr outsmart you, almost outsmart and hack and hack and kill in the woods!

GARROSH:  Wow he’s proud of that poison move.

GARONA:  Sharper than most ogres would think to do, I’ll grant him.

GARROSH:  But, point is…if we kill him, they’ll find out quick enough.  And then they’ll know we have everything he knew.  So we keep him alive.

SKARR:  Hold Skarr, yes, yes, keep me close, watching – HAH! – waiting, watching, tick, tock, the hour comes, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…

Garrosh leans in closer, still staring.

GARROSH:  Oh, don’t worry, Skarr.  You’ll still die eventually.

SKARR:  <grin fades>  Orc die too.  Die in fire!  Shadow and flame, tick, tock, the Hour of Twilight comes…

GARROSH:  <shakes head>  No… See, Skarr, that’s just it.  Your big bad hot-shit apocalypse we’re all going to die in?  It’s not coming.

Skarr’s face melts into a scowl as he glares at Garrosh in silence.

And you’re going to live just long enough to know that you lost.

Garrosh walks away from the ogre and stands by Garona, both of them watching him intently.

SKARR:  <mutters>  Tick, tock…

GARROSH:  Would be nice if he didn’t just talk in circles, though.

GARONA:  That’s fine.  Let him talk in circles.  That’s good.

SKARR:  Yes, yes, round and round, circling spinning, circles closing, closing, always closing in around you…tick, tock, tick…

GARROSH:  See?  How is that good?

GARONA:  Remember, I’ve done my share of interrogations, too.  The Twilight’s Hammer…the humans…

SKARR:  Stupid stupid foolish cows, chasing, chasing, chasing their tails…

GARONA:  Crazy or not, when they talk in circles, you just have to let them keep talking.  Let them keep circling.  It means they’re circling around what they know.  Sooner or later they’ll give you what you want…because they don’t know how to talk about anything else.

SKARR:  Skarr know what orcs want.

GARONA:  And this one, he wants to tell us.

GARROSH:  The what you say?

SKARR:  DIE!  FLAME AND SHADOW!

GARONA:  Have you ever had a conversation with someone where they kept steering it back to the same topics over and over?

GARROSH:  I’ve…had the experience.

GARONA:  It’s the same idea.

SKARR:  Skarr knew you come, he knew…

GARONA:  They keep coming back to the things they want to talk about.  And especially this one…I bet he’s dying to let it out.  Aren’t you, Skarr?

SKARR:  Burn and drown and crush and suffocate!  HAHAH!

GARROSH:  Fuck, how did THIS guy get put on a job like this?

GARONA:  Mmhmm, exactly.

GARROSH:  Huh?

GARONA:  He’s probably never been trusted with something this important before.  Have you, Skarr?  Just another ogre, a good enough fighter probably, but really nothing special.  But then the Twilight’s Hammer comes along…

SKARR:  They need Skarr!  Skarr knows, Skarr sees…since the Maul…

GARONA:  You were there when Cho’gall came to the Maul, weren’t you?  Had his gathering with the Gordunni…

SKARR:  Skarr look into it…look into nothing, nothing, Skarr know then, Skarr know, nothing all the way down…

Garona steps closer to Skarr, watching his face.

GARONA:  He saw something in you, didn’t he?  Cho’gall.  Ogre to ogre.  And he trusted you.

SKARR:  All the way down…

GARONA:  It must have been a good feeling.

GARROSH:  You’re not going to start getting all touchy-feely now, are you?

GARONA:  You must have been so…proud.

GARROSH:  Because really, it’s not a good look for you.

SKARR:  Cho’gall trust Skarr.  Cho’gall give Skarr.  Give Skarr vision, give Skarr the truth, give Skarr, give Skarr purpose—

GARONA:  Gave you the phylactery.  And a mission to keep it safe, is that it?

Skarr falls silent.

GARROSH:  I don’t get why THIS guy would be the caretaker of something that important, though.

GARONA:  Have you SEEN the other ogres?

GARROSH:  Yeah, none of them are exactly geniuses, but still, I’m not seeing what’s so different about this one.

SKARR:  Skarr BELIEVE.

GARROSH:  You believe.  Believe what?

GARONA:  Don’t you get it?  Everything.  The whole hopeless crusade… You were the only one who really GOT it, weren’t you, Skarr?

SKARR:  Others say.  Others pretend.  Or tell Cho’gall what they think he want, not listening, never listening, silly brothers, never listen, never seeing, lost in the forest, blind for the trees, fight over ashes in house aflame, fire and shadow, burn and crush and drown—

GARROSH:  Fighting in a burning house…

GARONA:  The others wanted to get on Cho’gall’s good side as a means to an end – power, riches, rewards.  But see?  Those are all…well…things of this world.  As long as there are still things left in the world that you want, then you still haven’t really given up.

GARROSH:  <nodding>  He was the only one in the burning house going “Fuck it, let it burn…”

SKARR:  Skarr look into nothing and nothing look back…nothing see nothing, nothing see itself, mirrors in mirrors and circles and circles, round and round into nothing…and it was good…

GARONA:  Cho’gall wanted to see who had given up.

SKARR:  Nothing, nothing, all the way down…

GARROSH:  Okay… So I get it, Skarr.  The other ogres, yeah, they were busy focusing on what would be in it for them if the Twilights won, and that’s fine for the battleground fodder, right?  For your garden variety foot soldiers, you don’t care if they’re just in it for the paycheck…but for the inner circle, you want the people who are all-in, is that it?

SKARR:  Cho’gall notice Skarr.  Cho’gall remember.  Keep in mind, keep in mind…

GARROSH:  So when the time came for him to hide the phylactery away, you were the one he went to.

GARONA:  The one who was worthy.

GARROSH:  So fine.  You’re the chosen one.  Kudos to you, nice job on the hopeless despair, real feather in your cap there.  So what happened to it?  If you’re the keeper of this big-fucking-deal trust, what are you doing hiding in a broken-down gnoll village?

SKARR:  Stampede the Maul…clatter of hoofs, rattle of swords…

GARROSH:  The Grimtotem.

GARONA:  It adds up.  He was up in Dire Maul at some point, and that’s where the Grimtotem started hitting more of late.  It makes sense he would head south to make sure they didn’t find what they were after.

GARROSH:  So he high-tailed it down to the Lower Wilds with the phylactery, and…wait a minute.  If the Twilights already HAD the damn thing, what’s this whole big production been about?  Why have those cultists running around hitting the ogre hot spots like they were looking for something when they already knew where it was?

GARONA:  Why are you having our people in Dustwallow carry on like the ogres there might still be holding the phylactery?

GARROSH:  I…ah.

GARONA:  It’s just a way to keep the Grimtotem busy looking for it, keep them one move behind…

SKARR:  <chuckling madly>  Chasing their tails, chasing their tails, silly stupid cows…

GARROSH:  Just a big misdirect.

GARONA:  Mmhmm.

GARROSH:  Should I be worried that this cult and I seem to think so much alike?

GARONA:  No comment.

GARROSH:  Well hang on again, wasn’t the whole point with the Grimtotem that they were trying to find this thing BEFORE the Twilights?  How did they even get started on a race to fins something that wasn’t lost?

GARONA:  Who knows where the Grimtotem were getting their information?  Or exactly how they were putting the details together?  Look at it – they could have learned somehow that the Twilight’s Hammer needs the phylactery to bring back Cho’gall.  Which they do.  And that it’s somewhere among the ogres.  Which is was.  Beyond that, who knows?  There’s a million ways they could have gotten the details twisted around, mistaken it being hidden for being lost…

GARROSH:  So where is it now?

Garrosh and Garona both turn to Skarr.

WHERE.  IS IT.  NOW?

SKARR:  <chuckles>  Safe.

GARROSH:  Well it sure as hell isn’t in that camp you were staying at, I know that much.  We turned the place upside down after we got your fat ass under wraps.

SKARR:  Not matter, not matter, what you do with Skarr not matter, Skarr do his job, Skarr… What happen now…not in Skarr’s hands.

GARONA:  They have it.

GARROSH:  Is that it, you big ball of crazy?  You finished your end of the job keeping it safe, and you handed it off to the cult?  Pass it along then stay behind to make sure it looks like there’s still a search on while everybody else spins their wheels?

SKARR:  Tick, tock, tick—

GARROSH:  <pummel>

SKARR:  <silenced>

GARROSH:  KNOCK IT OFF with the idiot tick-tock bullshit.

SKARR:  Sliding sands through the glass, through the hourglass, slipping away…

GARROSH:  And that goes for whatever other time-passing metaphors you’ve got up your sleeve!

SKARR:  Sands passing, sands sliding, slipping, sifting, sifting, shifting sands, shifting, sifting, si—

GARROSH:  So help me, ogre—

GARONA:  Wait, wait, I think I get it.

GARROSH:  Oh.  Yeah.  Of course.  Why didn’t I realize you could speak fluent crazy?

GARONA:  I’m SERIOUS.  The sands.  It’s not a random time metaphor there just to taunt you.

GARROSH:  What then?

GARONA:  And by the way, since when is “metaphor” a part of your vocabulary, anyway?

GARROSH:  Keeping on track, please?

GARONA:  Well I’m just saying, metaphors?  You?

GARROSH:  Why do people keep talking like I’m some kind of illiterate moron?  I DO write poetry on the side—

GARONA:  You do?  Poetry?

GARROSH:  —so you’ll EXCUSE me if I actually managed to pick up a literary device here and there, okay?

GARONA:  Do you write a lot of poetry?

GARROSH:  Can you PLEASE stay focused?  The sand thing isn’t a metaphor, fine, and yes I know what the fuck a metaphor is, stop the presses, big fucking deal, so what IS it?  And so help me, if you get smart as say it’s a simile—

GARONA:  Is that the one with “like” or “as”?

GARROSH:  Really not the point.

GARONA:  I’m just wondering, I always get those mixed up.  Metaphors are the ones without “like” or “as,” right?  And similes are with “like” or “as”?

GARROSH:  Oh for fuck’s sake.  YES, fine, similes use “like” or “as”, are you happy now?  HERE, just to illustrate the fucking point: “I would really LIKE to get out of this conversation AS soon AS possible,” can we fucking move on please?

GARONA:  That really doesn’t sound like a simile.

GARROSH:  <rubbing head>  You were actually doing pretty okay today, you really were.

SKARR:  Circling, circling, round and round, endless wailing, endless darkness, darkness dying souls…

GARROSH:  Right there with you, Skarr.

GARONA:  And what’s that supposed to mean?

GARROSH:  How about we focus on what something ELSE is supposed to mean, like say, I don’t know, the fucking thing about the sands which apparently aren’t going through the hourglass, and…oh fuck, wait, is it the Caverns of Time?  Sands of the hourglass sounds like of Nozdormu-y, is that it?

GARONA:  I just said it wasn’t a metaphor.

GARROSH:  Well technically, that would be pretty literal, not a metaphor.

GARONA:  How would that be literal?

GARROSH:  Um, he was referring to sands passing through an hourglass, and that’s time, and those are the Caverns of Time, where all kinds of timey whimey stuff goes down – I’m not sure how much more literal you can get than that.

GARONA:  Yes, I get the connection, but an hourglass is still a metaphor for time in that context, isn’t it?

GARROSH:  If you really want to split hairs, I suppose, but it’s more kind of a dead metaphor.

GARONA:  A dead metaphor?

GARROSH:  You heard me.

GARONA:  What the hell is that?  I think you’re making this stuff up now.

GARROSH:  I’m not making anything up, it just so happens I’ve read a fucking book or two in my life, is there a problem with that?

GARONA:  And besides, why would they send the phylactery to the Caverns of Time?  How does that make any sense at all?  The place is crawling with bronze dragons who are on our side.

GARROSH:  Well then what’s YOUR answer, little Miss Brainstorm?

GARONA:  Although I suppose it’s not that big of a stretch, since there’s also that whole thing about sand, and there is a lot of sand in Tanaris, and in a roundabout way that’s kind of—

SKARR:  It’s Silithus!  For N’Zoth’s sake, it’s fucking SILITHUS!  FUCK!  Twilight agents picked up the phylactery, and they’re delivering it to SILITHUS, okay?  Can you just SHUT UP now?!

GARONA:  See!  SEE?!  I knew it!  I KNEW it was Silithus!

GARROSH:  I think you’re really overlooking the most illuminating part of that little outburst.

GARONA:  Because, you see, the Twilight’s Hammer has always had a presence there, and then there’s the reference to “shifting sands”…

GARROSH:  No, really, you want to step back and look at the bigger picture here.

SKARR:  In order to carry out the resurrection, they need the residual energies from C’thun’s chamber in Ahn’Qiraj to focus the spell.  It’s where Cho’gall tried to restore C’thun to this world, and the place is attuned to his spirit as a result…

GARONA:  And see, even the words he was using – shifting, sliding, slipping, sifting, Silithus!

GARROSH:  Right, it’s Silithus, we get it.

GARONA:  I’m just saying, it’s exactly what I thought it was!

GARROSH:  Yeah, good for you, that’s great.

GARONA:  I could have told you, too, if you’d have let me get a word in edgewise.

GARROSH:  I…what?

GARONA:  Instead of going on about what a big literary expert you’re supposed to be.

GARROSH:  I never said I was—

GARONA:  You’ll notice who actually managed to read between the lines and figure out what was going on here, though.

GARROSH:  I SAID good job.

GARONA:  Yes, but there was a tone.

GARROSH:  There was not a tone.

GARONA:  I picked up a tone.

GARROSH:  I think I would know if I had a tone!

GARONA:  Because you’re such an unparalleled master of language, is that it?

GARROSH:  For fuck’s sake, here we go again.

GARONA:  I need to see this poetry of yours, by the way.

SKARR:  Is she always like this?

 

After this point I was heading back to Orgrimmar for Winter’s Veil stuff, which came in handy since it let me put a little distance between me and Garona, who let me tell you, dialed it up to eleven after the way things finished up with Skarr.  Meanwhile she’s gone ahead to Silithus to start chasing down the Twilights.  I’ll be heading down soon myself.  With any luck we can make some quick progress before the Twilights piece together that something is up.

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Awesome job, Mokvar

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 16, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

Well, Garona took her sweet time getting here, which shouldn’t really surprise me, to be honest.  Yeah, sure, you’ll be there at the time we set to meet.  And you’ll be ready to go out in just ten minutes, right?  Same deal.  Women.

While I was waiting, I sent word to Orgrimmar to have Mokvar come out to help with the recordkeeping.  I figure with everything going on, I’ll want to keep a detailed account of all the information we collect, and so it just makes sense to keep my own in-house scribe around.  It’s either that or take time out to write everything down myself, and let’s face it, my time is going to be better spent thinking great thoughts.  Plus, let’s be honest, my handwriting is crap.  Even by Mokvar standards.

Since Mokvar’s going to be transcribing a lot of stuff – notes, maps, details from our investigations, etc. – I’ve had Spazzle set him up to be able to edit these posts to add in any write-ups he thinks would be useful to add to the record here.  Plus this way it spares me having to make sense of his godawful handwriting and take the time to transcribe it myself.  (Just as long as he just inserts his stuff.  I warned him that if he tries monkeying around with my actual writing, I’ll fucking hand his ass over to Draz’zilb for whatever scary-ass voodoo experiments he might want to pull on him.  And yes, I’m fucking territorial about my intellectual property.)

Anyway, though, she finally did show up, and we set up shop in the tavern of the inn to go over what we’ve found.  She couldn’t find any traces of the phylactery itself, and she says the Maul is still a pretty big mess from when Cho’gall had held his ogre gathering.  Turns out, though, she also had a run-in with some Twilights while she was there, and found them as easy to persuade as I did.  Their story more or less matched mine: the ogre Skarr had been heading up their search around Dire Maul, but recently headed to the southern part of Feralas to set up camp.  He left some of the other Twilight agents to keep looking for anything they could find around the Maul, with orders to check in with him.  They didn’t have details on exactly where to find him, or else Garona was going to go pay him a visit herself – apparently Skarr just told them to go to the Lower Wilds, and he would find them if he needed them, whatever that means.  Oh and here’s the best part – right when she was about to polish them off, some Grimtotem raiders showed up, fighting a bunch of the Gordunni ogres…so just as the bunch of them were almost on top of her and the Twilights, she just up and POOF-vanished, and left the whole gang of them to have at each other.

So, next up, we’re going to go searching for Skarr.  We’ll split up on the way, since we don’t really know what he’s going to have there as far as backup.  Garona’s going to stealth her way through the woods and see if she can do some spying on the way.  (I offered her a camel she could take for the trip, but I guess she preferred to go by foot…)  Meanwhile I’ll be doing a flyover to see what I can find, and then, you know, probably wind up taking the direct approach while she’s doing her snooping.

There were a lot of little odds and ends that the two of us had to update each other on, and some what-ifs to plan for for the next few days, so we ended up spending a while there in the tavern.  Credit where it’s due, those goblins have some pretty good cooks on payroll.  While we were there, we also had a run-in with this blood elf guy who was just kind of wandering back and forth from the bar, babbling on about his dead pony or something, but the less said about him the better.

 

GARROSH:  Hold up.  Have you noticed the blood elf guy who keeps looking over this way?

GARONA:  Every few minutes.  He keeps looking at us, then looking away when one of us looks back.

GARROSH:  Think he’s a spy or something?

GARONA:  Not likely.  The Grimtotem wouldn’t trust an outsider, so they wouldn’t bring in a blood elf to spy for them.  The Twilight’s Hammer would get someone who was competent enough not to just sit out in the open staring at his quarry.  So who else?  The Alliance?  Some from column A, some from column B, no-go there.

GARROSH:  Can you tell if he’s watching one of us in particular?

GARONA:  I’m not sure.  Do you think he’s looking at me?

GARROSH:  I don’t know, that’s why I asked.

GARONA:  Ugh, I hope he’s not going to come over to try to pick me up.

GARROSH:  Why would you think he’s going to…oh never mind.

GARONA:  Why?  You don’t think he would?  It’s not like I don’t ever have men stare at me in bars, you know.

GARROSH:  Yeah, no, I’m sure they do.

GARONA:  You sound like you don’t believe me!

GARROSH:  I didn’t say that!

GARONA:  I’ll have you know I get hit on all the damn time!

GARROSH:  I’m not arguing with you, dammit!

GARONA:  Just because I have a grown son doesn’t mean I’m some old lady, you know!

GARROSH:  Oh for fuck’s sake, can we not go through another whole song and dance about your kid?

GARONA:  Oh, sure, who wants some old worn-out orc who’s already pumped out a kid, is that it?  You men are all alike.

GARROSH:  When the fuck did I even say anything?  I’ve got no problem with you having a kid, go ahead, have your kid, have more kids, have a whole barn of them, I don’t give a shit!

GARONA:  Well you sure made it sound like some wrinkled old matron like me certainly couldn’t be catching the eye of some spry young elf in a bar.

GARROSH:  I didn’t say any such damn thing!  Fuck!  Look, hell, there’s a REASON why the term “MILF” got coined in the first place, okay?

GARONA:  So you think I’m pretty?

GARROSH:  …

GARONA:  Well?

GARROSH:  I’m thinking.

GARONA:  What do you mean, you’re thinking?  What’s there to think about?  Either you think I’m pretty or you don’t!  You know, if you have to THINK about it—

GARROSH:  I’m trying to think of what answer is LEAST likely to get me stabbed in my sleep later on.

GARONA:  And what makes you think I’m going to be nearby when you’re asleep in your bed?

GARROSH:  <facepalm>

GARONA:  Because honey, don’t flatter yourself.

GARROSH:  …

GARONA:  What?

GARROSH:  Lady, you are one great big can of crazy, you know that?

GARONA:  What’s THAT supposed to mean?

GARROSH:  Can we PLEASE get back to the guy who’s watching us, or the Grimtotem thing, or maybe even just beat my head in with a brick because even that would be less excruciating than what we’re doing now?

GARONA:  You know, there are a lot of men who’d be thrilled to be talking with me over a few flagons.

GARROSH:  Oh for FUCK’S sake!

GARONA:  I’m just saying.  Lots and lots.  You have no idea.

GARROSH:  Could you maybe call them all over here to beat me in the head until I lose all memory of this conversation?

GARONA:  Fine, BE that way.

GARROSH:  SO ABOUT THE FUCKING ELF.

GARONA:  You think he’s looking at me?

GARROSH:  I hope the hell he is.  Maybe he can sweep you away and give me the glorious treat of your absence.

GARONA:  Well now you’re just being passive-aggressive.

GARROSH:  It’s a goddamn good thing for you that you’re genuinely good in a fight, that’s all I’m going to say.

GARONA:  I’m just trying to help you.  You know you’re never going to find a girl if you keep up with this attitude.

GARROSH:  Tell me something, when you assassinated Llane, did you actually have to kill him?  Or did you just strike up a conversation with him and keep talking until he threw himself on your daggers?

GARONA:  He wouldn’t have been the first man to throw himself at me, I’ll tell you that much right now.

GARROSH:  THE ELF, for fuck’s sake, THE FUCKING ELF, before I squeeze my head down another hat size trying to cover my ears again!

GARONA:  Fine, then!

The blood elf, by this point, has wandered over closer to the table.

BLOOD ELF:  Um, excuse me?

GARROSH:  Oh thank goodness.

BLOOD ELF:  Am I interrupting something?

GARROSH:  Yes, you are, and spirits bless you for it.  Can I buy you a drink?  A round of drinks?  And an epic mount of your choosing?

BLOOD ELF:  Oh…no, no, you see, my pony only just recently…passed… <sniffle> It’s just too soon.  Plus…um…well, I mean, it’s a flattering offer, but I don’t…you know…swing that way, so…

GARROSH:  Well hold on, I didn’t…

GARONA:   <eyes widen>  Ohhh, wait a minute, NOW it’s making more sense…

GARROSH:  Plus you’re a male blood elf, what do you mean you…oh never mind.

BLOOD ELF:  What does that mean?

GARONA:  I’m so, so sorry.  I should have realized.

GARROSH:  Will you SHUT IT?  That’s not what I fucking meant.

GARONA:  No WONDER you’re so angry all the time.

GARROSH:  I AM NOT FUCKING ANGRY ALL THE TIME, YOU INFURIATING CRAZY-ASS BATSHIT HARPY!

GARONA:  Mmhmm.

GARROSH:  Look, can we drop the… <looks to Mokvar> Are you seriously writing all that down?

MOKVAR:  Well, um, yes, sir.  You said I should keep a record of everything.

GARROSH:  <blink>  I…just… Wow.

MOKVAR:  Begging your pardon, sir, you did say we need to keep everything written down in case some easily overlooked details end up being important later.

GARROSH:  You win, Thrall.  Oh, man, you really, really win.  Good one, dude.  Hats off to you.  You win.

GARONA:  Now see, THRALL found himself a nice girl, and see what he did?

GARROSH:  He HAD HIS SOUL RIPPED INTO FOUR PIECES is what he did!

MOKVAR:  Sounds like marriage to me, sir.

GARROSH:  Heh, yeah, amen, Mokvar.

GARONA:  Mmhmm.  Interesting.

BLOOD ELF:  Should I just…leave…?

GARROSH:  For the love of the spirits, NO.

BLOOD ELF:  It’s just that, well, I couldn’t help but notice…

GARONA:  You see!  He was looking at me!

GARROSH:  <looks to elf>  Run now.

BLOOD ELF:  Well no, I was looking at her.

GARONA:  See?

BLOOD ELF:  I was looking at both of you, actually.

GARONA:  You…wait, what?

GARROSH:  I think what he means—

GARONA:  Oh no, no, sweetie, I… No, I don’t do those anymore.

GARROSH:  <rubbing head>  I seriously don’t know if I want to stop the Twilight’s Hammer from destroying the world anymore.

BLOOD ELF:  I’m…confused.

GARROSH:  Give her a few minutes.  It gets worse.

GARONA:  But I’m not sure why you’d be interested in getting Garrosh involved, if you say you don’t—

BLOOD ELF:  So you ARE Garrosh!  Garrosh Hellscream?  The Warchief?

GARROSH:  Yeah, that’s me.  What of it?  And please elaborate at length if it stops her from chiming in for a while.

BLOOD ELF:  And so you must be Garona Halforcen?

GARROSH:  Oh good, kick it over to her right away.  Well played.

GARONA:  That’s me, yes.

BLOOD ELF:  <beaming>  Oh wow, I can’t believe I’m really getting to meet you!  This really is an honor for me!

GARROSH:  Uh oh.  Fanboy alert.

BLOOD ELF:  And, if I say so myself, for it to be an honor for me really is quite the honor for YOU, too.  It’s not just anyone who can impress me right off like that.

GARONA:  Um…

GARROSH:  Okay…

BLOOD ELF:  You see, I’ve been making quite a name for myself within the Horde as well.  I’ll have you know, I was an exalted hero of Tranquillien within a few mere hours of arriving at the place!

GARROSH:  Wait, Tranq-what-now?

BLOOD ELF:  And granted, I really haven’t had occasion to drop by Orgrimmar to meet you in person, Warchief, but I’m sure tales of my adventures have made their way all the way to your war room.

GARROSH:  Um, maybe?  Oh…OH, so wait, you’re one of those…yeah, one of the… up-and-coming adventurers that we send off of various missions in the outlying zones… Right…

GARONA:  I thought you said those quests weren’t really all that—

GARROSH:  Ix-nay on the usywork-bay.

GARONA:  Oh.  Right.

GARROSH:  Anyway, um, so yeah, maybe I’ve seen reports on your…exploits… Um, what was your name again?

BLOOD ELF:  I…am Johnny Awesome.

[The Blood Elf will henceforth be referenced as Johnny Awesome, because really, this is just too good. –Mkvr., ed.]

GARROSH:  No, I can’t say I – wait, that’s your name?

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Uh, yes.

GARROSH:  No, I mean, it’s your real name?  Not like an alias you made up for yourself?

JOHNNY AWESOME:  No, it’s my name.

GARROSH:  Your parents are Mr. and Mrs. Awesome.

JOHNNY AWESOME:  It’s an old Highborn name.  It goes back thousands of years.

GARROSH:  Uh huh.

GARONA:  It’s a wonder things didn’t work out better for Azshara if she had the Awesomes working for her.

GARROSH:  <chortle>

JOHNNY AWESOME:  It’s…it’s true.

GARROSH:  I’m sure it is.

GARONA:  If only she could have had her field troops led by Jimmy Omgipwnedurface.

GARROSH:  <snicker>  Haha, you know, I think I know a guy on Earth Online who uses that name.

GARONA:  Oh wow, you play Earth Online too?

GARROSH:  Yeah.  You play?  What server?

GARONA:  Palin, Kalimdor region.  You?

GARROSH:  Goldwater-Kalimdor.  Hah, that’s awesome.

GARONA:  Med’an got me started on it.  I really only started playing originally just to check in on what he was doing.  You know how it is with the internet.

GARROSH:  Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.  Can’t be too careful.

GARONA:  Although I have to admit it’s really starting to annoy me that they broke the mature language filter so you can’t keep it turned off now!

GARROSH:  Oh I KNOW, right?  That’s !@#$ing ANNOYING.

GARONA:  I mean I’m an ADULT, if I want to talk like one I should be able to.

GARROSH:  What do you think of the expansion?  Have you seen much about it?

GARONA:  I don’t know.  I’m cautiously optimistic.

GARROSH:  Oh come on.  Australians?  They’re seriously making a whole expansion about Australians?

GARONA:  Well you know, to be fair, it’s not like they’ve never taken a joke and used it seriously before.  People forget that Canada was originally a running gag too, and look how well they integrated that.

GARROSH:  Yeah, I suppose…

JOHNNY AWESOME:  I…have no idea what you two are talking about.

GARROSH:  Online gaming.

JOHNNY AWESOME:  You actually do that?

GARONA:  Is that a problem?

JOHNNY AWESOME:  It’s just…I guess I just sort of figured you guys would be…a little cooler than that.

GARROSH:  Excuse me, do you really want to get into a coolness pissing contest with us?

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Well I just mean…

GARROSH:  Do you really want to?  Because if you want to go, we can go.

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Well no, it’s just that…I mean, come on, an MMO?

GARROSH:  So let’s see, commanded fifteen Kor’kron legions on a military campaign across the arctic wastes culminating in the death of the fucking Lich King.  Shall we start there?

GARONA:  Single-handedly assassinated the king of Stormwind?

GARROSH:  Also a good one.

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Look, I’m not trying to—

GARROSH:  Son of the slayer of Mannoroth.

GARONA:  Mother of the new Guardian of Tirisfal.

GARROSH:  Crash landed an airship in Twilight Highlands and walked away without a scratch.

GARONA:  Killed Cho’gall.  The first time.

GARROSH:  Dueled Thrall to a standstill.

GARONA:  Fucked Medivh.

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Okay!  Okay!  I’m sorry!

GARROSH:  That’s better.  So anyway, was there a point to all this?

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Oh… Well, I guess I was just wondering if I could have your autographs.

GARROSH:  Our…autographs.

GARONA:  I don’t know, would you really want the autographs of a couple of lame online gamers?

JOHNNY AWESOME:  I know, look, I’m sorry.  It’s just, you’re both heroes of the Horde, and…you know…that’s what I’m aspiring to, too, so…

GARROSH:  Okay, okay, fine…  <scribbles on paper>

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Well, and I guess I was also wondering, since I like to think I’m a rising star in the Horde, really one of your secret weapons when you come right down to it, even if I guess you haven’t heard of me yet, which really doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense, but whatever, but I was just thinking—

GARROSH:  Get to the point, please, Tirion.

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Well, I was just wondering if you had any missions you might need me to carry out for you.

GARROSH:  Missions.

JOHNNY AWESOME:  I mean I know there are lots of people scattered around Horde settlements who need help with different things, and don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to help out where I can, but it just seems to me that my talents could be better used by, you know, performing key duties on behalf of the Warchief.

GARROSH:  Uh huh.

JOHNNY AWESOME:  So…are there any missions you need carried out?  Or places you feel I could be of particular help?

GARROSH:  Um…okay…

GARONA:  Time to get into character.

GARROSH:  Yeah.  <deep breath>  Lok’tar, noble blood elf, tales of your valiant deeds have carried even to Orgrimmar—

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Wait, didn’t you just say you haven’t heard—

GARROSH:  Just fucking roll with it, okay, dude?  Seriously.

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Okay.  Yes, sir.

GARROSH:  Tales of your valiant deeds have carried even to Orgrimmar, and rest assured they have not escaped the notice of your Warchief.  If you wish to truly serve the Horde, your considerable powers could be used in Thousand Needles, or, um, Tanaris.  The choice is yours.  Remember, Hellscream’s eyes are always upon you!

JOHNNY AWESOME:  Yes sir!  I won’t let you down, sir!

Johnny Awesome races off, never, one can only hope, to be heard from again.

GARROSH:  I really fucking hate my job sometimes.

GARONA:  Wait, Thousand Needles and Tanaris?

GARROSH:  Yeah, what of it?

GARONA:  Well…he didn’t look like he’s been doing this for very long.  Aren’t those areas pretty dangerous these days?

GARROSH:  Yes, and?

GARONA:  Isn’t he going to go out there and get eviscerated?

GARROSH:  Yes, and?

 

Wait, so hold on.  I had a five-hour strategy session with Garona, and THIS is what Mokvar decided was important enough to post up here?  Seriously?  THIS is what made the cut?

Either way, though, gotta say again, it’s DAMN impressive that he’s able to get all this stuff transcribed like that.  Really, really impressive.

Now pardon me while I go find him and smack him around a little.

 

 

[Header image provided by regular reader and commenter ZugZug, used here with permission and many thanks.]

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Underneath the bunker

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

Thank goodness for familiar faces in the middle of all the crazy.

None of the troops here at Krom’gar’s fortress knew a whole lot about what was going on, other than Overlord Krom’gar and General Grebo being away on some important mission.  Like I said before, I would have guessed some good old-fashioned gnome-punting, but nobody seemed to know for sure.  Turns out, though, they had a few other men stationed down in the mine just below the fortress, so I headed down there with Mokvar, who’s FINALLY gotten his ass around to training up his inscription so he can record drawings and transcripts of useful stuff.  TOO FUCKING BAD HE DIDN’T HAVE THAT SHIT READY WHEN I NEEDED A GOOD WALK-AWAY-FROM-EXPLOSION PORTRAIT.  Lazy fucker.

Anyway, he finally got that shit taken care of, so considering how fishy things have been looking here in Stonetalon, I’m having him keep a running record of everything from here on.  As it turns out, two of the men Krom’gar had working in the mine were Sergeant Dontrag and Scout Utvoch, the two soldiers I’d met back in Ashenvale and sent ahead to help with Krom’gar’s forces.

I want to make sure we’re keeping the details straight, so I’m going to copy out Mokvar’s transcript here.  Well, I’m going to try to.  His handwriting is fucking shit.  Who the fuck are these inscription trainers, and what are they doing, breaking everyone’s fucking fingers before they let them take their damn pens home?

 

UTVOCH:  Warchief!  Lok’tar ogar!  An honor to see you, sir!

DONTRAG:  A great honor, Warchief!

UTVOCH:  Very great indeed, sir!

DONTRAG:  An inconceivable great honor!

GARROSH:  Okay, enough, seriously, you guys, we’ve been through this before already, you’ve really got to tone it way, way, WAY the fuck DOWN.

DONTRAG:  Sorry, Warchief.

UTVOCH:  Very sorry.

DONTRAG:  Our apologies, sir.

UTVOCH:  Yes sir.

DONTRAG:  Very deepest apologies.

UTVOCH:  Deep—

GARROSH:  ENOUGH ALREADY, YOU TWO.  <facepalm>

UTVOCH:  Shutting up, sir.

DONTRAG:  Yes sir.

GARROSH:  That’s better.  So I’m trying to find out what the hell has been going on around here.  Hopefully you men can shed some light on all this.

DONTRAG:  Well, sir, Utvoch and I have been working down here in the mine mostly, so I’m not sure about everything that’s been happening above.  But it sure sounded like there was a major battle going on up there, what with the sounds of machinery and gunfire.

GARROSH:  What were you two doing down here, then, hiding in a cave when your comrades were engaged in honorable battle?  From the looks of it out there, there WAS an attack on the fortress—

UTVOCH:  Gnomes, sir?

DONTRAG:  Damn, I hate gnomes.

GARROSH:  I KNOW, RIGHT?  Fucking gnomes, that’s what it looks like.

UTVOCH:  Damn fucking gnomes indeed!

DONTRAG:  Inconceivable fucking gno—

GARROSH:  DON’T START THAT AGAIN!!

DONTRAG:  Sorry sir.

GARROSH:  Now answer my question!  Why were you here and not joining in on the fight?

DONTRAG:  Believe me, Warchief, not for lack of desire to be up there with the others.

UTVOCH:  It was General Grebo’s orders, sir.

DONTRAG:  Well General Grebo, and the Overlord, sir.  We were originally supposed to escort the general to the northern front and help deliver ordnance for the battle with the night elves in Battlescar Valley.  But then the goblin blastgineer—

UTVOCH:  Blastgineer Bombgutz, sir.

DONTRAG:  —Blastgineer Bombgutz here in the mine went out of contact, and the fortress needed the machine parts she was supposed to be gathering, for the anti-aircraft cannons, sir, and so Overlord Krom’gar decided to send two of his best orcs down to investigate and send the parts back so he’d be ready to defend the fortress.

UTVOCH:  Which we did, sir.

DONTRAG:  Just in the nick of time, but we did.

UTVOCH:  Well, with a little help.

DONTRAG:  Well, yeah, but we don’t need to get into that.

UTVOCH:  Did you even get their name?

DONTRAG:  Don’t think so.  Did you?

UTVOCH:  No, never introduced themselves.

DONTRAG:  Yeah, these passing-through helpers never do.

UTVOCH:  Pretty rude if you ask me.

DONTRAG:  Like it would kill them to strike up a conversation.  But oh no, just wander on in, what do you need me to do? then up and on their way, and—

GARROSH:  ENOUGH already.  HEAD HURTS.   I’m losing my sense of humor with you two.  Damn, you orcs are a piece of work.  Fucking brilliant.  YOU’RE the best of the best Krom’gar’s got, huh?  No wonder everything’s running so great around here.

UTVOCH:  Um, thank you, sir?

GARROSH:  And stop grinning like a couple of idiots.

DONTRAG:  Sorry sir.

GARROSH:  <sigh>  Anyway… So the Overlord needed parts for the cannons, I get that, but once that was taken care of, why not get back up to the fortress and help DEFEND it?  I’m sure they could have used every hand up there.

UTVOCH:  General’s orders, sir.

GARROSH:  What orders?

DONTRAG:  Well, you see, Warchief, it wasn’t just the cannons that needed additional parts.  The general was also overseeing another project for the northern front, some kind of…what did he call it?

UTVOCH:  Deployment mechanism?

DONTRAG:  Yeah, that’s it – a deployment mechanism that was going to be needed soon, and he was expecting them to be delivered along with the artillery parts.  Only when the blastgineer went missing, and Overlord Krom’gar sent us down to check on her, General Grebo instructed us to stay until we’d secured those extra parts.

UTVOCH:  And then stay here until they could be sent north, sir.

DONTRAG:  I guess the mechanism thing is pretty important to the northern strategy, and General Grebo wanted to make sure the parts he needed would be secure.  And he said he needed to make sure a couple of orcs he could trust would stay and make sure the parts were taken care of.

UTVOCH:  He said it was more important that we stay here under cover, sir.

DONTRAG:  Apparently he couldn’t afford to have something happen to us while we were taking care of the shipment.

UTVOCH:  Which we did, sir.

DONTRAG:  Yeah, we just gathered up the last of them and sent them ahead with Blastgineer Bombgutz.

GARROSH:  Where were they going?  And what were they for, anyway?  What the fuck is a “deployment mechanism”, what do I look like, a fucking goblin or something?

UTVOCH:  No, no sir, you’re not green at all.

GARROSH:  I…don’t know how to take that.

UTVOCH:  Um…

GARROSH:  MOVING ON.  Where was the shipment going?

DONTRAG:  The Sludgewerks, sir.  Straight northwest.  I guess they were making the final upgrades to the mechanism before sending it along to Cliffwalker Post.  General Grebo was supposed to supervise the arrival personally.

GARROSH:  What about Chieftain Cliffwalker?

DONTRAG:  Not sure, sir.

GARROSH:  Hmm… Okay, in that case I should probably head out there and see just what’s going on.  Whatever Krom’gar and Grebo have in the works, I’m sure it’s bad news for the night elves, and I don’t want to miss the show.  You men finish up whatever you need to do here, and check in with me at Cliffwalker Post.

DONTRAG:  Begging your pardon, sir, if I could make a suggestion?

GARROSH:  What is it?

DONTRAG:  Well, sir, I’m not too clear on the whole operation—

UTVOCH:  Obviously.

DONTRAG:  Like you are?

UTVOCH:  More than you—

GARROSH:  ARE WE COMING UP ON A POINT ANYTIME SOON??

DONTRAG:  Right, sir.

UTVOCH:  Sorry sir.

DONTRAG:  Much apologizings.  Um, anyhow, I don’t know all the details, but I know part of the reason for this big production with the…deployment mechanism…well, it has something to do with some kind of weapon the night elves have been assembling.  They’ve set up a base at Thal’darah Grove, not far from Cliffwalker Post, where they’re finishing work on it.

GARROSH:  What kind of weapon?

DONTRAG:  Not sure, sir.  Just that it’s supposed to be massive.

UTVOCH:  “Of mass destruction,” as they say, sir.

DONTRAG:  Yeah.  So, sir, if you want to get to the bottom of this, might I suggest you investigate there straight away?

GARROSH:  Hmm… You men are dedicated, I’ll give you that.  All right, I’ll check up on all this.  You two head back to Orgrimmar when you’re done here – I’ll want to have a full debriefing with you, the general, and the overlord when this is all finished.

DONTRAG:  Yes, sir.  Lok’tar.

GARROSH:  Strength and honor, men.  Peace.  Um, not literally.  Anway.

 

You know, gotta say, as crappy as Mokvar’s handwriting is, it’s pretty impressive he was able to get all that shit down.  Anyway, I’m sending Mokvar back to Orgrimmar to arrange a Kor’kron detachment to come out this way.  Any way you cut it, something still doesn’t sit right with me about this.  I’m pretty damn certain there’s SOMETHING happening at Thal’darah Grove that’s in the middle of it, even if Dontrag and Utvoch aren’t exactly in the know about all the details…but before I go running over there, I want to check on what these goblin fuckers are working on at the Sludgewerks.

More updates soon.

“I think we made a good impression on the Warchief, Donty.” “Sort of, Ut.” “Sort of, as in how?” “Sort of, as in the ‘me’ part of the ‘we’.”

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