what a lovely way to burn

please mr. postman

colourmayfade — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 17:17:44 GMT

Hiiii. Remember me? Yeah. Abandoned LJ, the internet really, these past few months. Truth is, things in real life have been crazy. And they're about to get crazier as I leave tomorrow for Argentina, to spend the next couple of months. Going to work with an NGO over there this summer vacation. Hopefully I'll make a post about it tonight, and about my super interesting opinions on Fringe and Harry Potter (um, better late than never?)

And in case you're as late to things as I am:

holiday love meme pt2
[my thread]

Right now I'm supposed to be doing a million different things, but instead I'm reading John/Aeryn fic and my head is spinning with decisions to be made. Oh man, I am terrible at this.

cap communities

colourmayfade — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 16:36:25 GMT

Not sure if I'd promoted all these here, so, clockwise:

8_15, for all your Lost cap needs
prettycaps, quite literal
julietkate, pretty much self-explanatory
trans_figured, for Harry Potter caps

These are the cap communities that kindly took me in and let me play. I've been posting at 8_15 for a while now, so you most likely know that one, but all the others are relatively new.

So, go join, watch or just take a peak into these. Brilliant posters in all of them, this I promise!

picspam: there are stories in your palms (lost)

colourmayfade — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 00:05:41 GMT

picspam. lost. there are stories in your palms: death & hands. image heavy. for jjverse and valhalla37 as a luau gift. spoilers for the whole series.

notes: I don't know how much this counts as a trope, but as far as recurring themes go, this is my favorite one. I had half a mind to do this from the moment valhalla37 posted her request at lostsquee and the Goodbye spam challenge at jjverse gave me the necessary push. So, pushed into motion by a deadline and moved by the belief that some gestures can communicate better than words (and with a trusty pack of Kleenex beside me), I bring you this. Pay attention to the hands and hopefully you'll see what I mean.

it's with hands that are dying
and resurrected.

- other lives and dimensions and finally a love poem, bob hicok

- Someday I'll make the opposite of this picspam, which is a happy hands spam. Soon. Ish.
- I Support Team Oceanic. It would mean the world to me if you went to that post and commented with this phrase. Please let me know if you do!
- Sad Soundtrack of Sadness.

Do not post any of this on tumblr. I will post it myself later tonight.

fic: pioneers (lost)

colourmayfade — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 20:42:34 GMT

lost. summary: hugo learns. hurley and ben. post series finale. ~1,100 words. rated: g. for lostsquee, prompt: boss and soft.

disclaimer: not mine, not mine, not mine!

note: I wrote this last minute for the ficlet challenge at lostsquee and forgot about it until today, when the queen of the day at the luau prompted "The Future". I'm all out of creativity but I thought I'd bring this here.

Hugo learns. It takes a little longer than Ben would have liked, but he does.

They see Desmond off with nothing but a bag of fruit and a few water-bottles. Hurley sits on the shore long after the boat has disappeared in the horizon, eyes squeezed together in concentration, fingers curled into fists punched in the sand. That night the jungle moans and muffles, they sit by the fire watching embers flicker up and out, Hurley whispers, "do you think I got him home safe?" and Ben's head snaps up, "if he followed the coordinates I gave him…", says "I don't know".

In the beginning they spend some time with Rose and Bernard, though Ben stays uneasy, spine straight, posture rigid. They sit by the fire, there's always a fire; Hurley says, "it's delicious," and "can you teach me to make this?" Rose chuckles, Ben rolls his eyes. "I'll be in the barracks if you need me," and once he's gone, Bernard asks: how can you stand that guy? So he answers, "there's no one else".

There's no one else, so they fix two houses themselves. Hurley turns out to be surprisingly talented with a hammer while Ben figures out how to get the power back on. They sit on the porch, watch dusk fall from the sky. "It's like a ghost town," Hurley says and Ben just stares straight ahead.

Footprints wash in the mud and every tree looks the same. You can't track worth a damn, Sawyer would say. They're not sure he'll ever learn, but they keep trying, "you can't protect the island if you don't know it," Ben lectures him and one day he finds he knows, each trail, each turn, each crack.

Ben stops by the house every day, pulls the curtain aside and watches a while. When he takes him down to the Orchid, says "this is how you'll leave the island," Hurley purses his lips and takes a look around. "Well?" Ben asks, "aren't you going to say anything?"

Hugo shrugs. "Dude, has this been here the whole time?" followed by "… Is that a donkey wheel?" and Ben has to shake his head. You have to push it, he censures.

He does. And only for ten seconds, sitting there, in the middle of the wide open desert, does he think of never going back.

A promise is a promise, though, so he finds them. Runaways and criminals and heartbroken, sickly people who never really had a chance.

Going back is a little trickier. He sits on a boat for days and days without end, just him and this nervous-looking guy who's playing captain for change. "How can I drive if I don't know where we're going?" he asks angrily, and Hurley shrugs. "It'll be fine, dude," he says and stares at the ocean until the waves build and throw them around, the ocean swallows them in and spits them out on the island again.

And they come, of course. It works. Ben tells him he ought to move somewhere secluded, that he doesn't belong with these people, but Hurley stays. Years go by like weekendless weeks, there's always something to do, someone to take care of.

There are periods when Ben disappears, out on walks to God knows where. It's okay, Hurley figures. Sometimes he takes a few days off too and goes to that place where the grass starts to grow just beside the shore, puts flowers in graves and waits for someone to visit him. They stop coming eventually, Michael and Eko and Rousseau, one by one they all move on.

Ben still stares out the window, curtains slightly pushed aside. "I don't know how you can believe in every one of them," but Hurley just kind of ignores that sort of topic. Every time there's a new group, Ben chooses someone to pick on, "that woman, really, Hugo?" and he just smiles in response. "That's Jen. She used to work at a morgue and she's great at videogames."

Ben's skin crinkles and folds, becomes rough like sandpaper, and Hurley stays exactly the same. There are the ones who stay. The two of them, but also women who were sick and now are not, men who would have struggled and burned in a prison somewhere. There are the ones who leave, when the island is done them and they are done with the island. The second part is important too, Hurley decides.

There are some bad choices in between, he admits. Ben screams, "you are too soft on them!" and Hurley whispers, "you are too hard." A man decides to exploit the island for money, Ben's hair is already white and he's becoming even more prickly with age. A riot breaks out amongst his people and it doesn't end well. Hurley buries the man with the bodies of everyone who died in the plane crash decades before. When he comes home, he finds Ben sitting there, in his couch, and his hands tremble, his throat dries. "You don't go behind my back. Ever again," he says.

Ben starts to cough, soon after that. He walks with the help of a cane, and then he doesn't walk at all.

It begins to rain outside and Ben watches with a smile on his face. "This island," he chuckles, and Hurley raises a brow. "How did you manage to bring so many people here?" Ben asks, for the first time.

Hurley smiles. "I asked." Ben laughs, says of course. He closes his eyes, tiredly.

"Who's gonna be too hard on them now?" and Hurley's voice comes out like a whine, his hand wraps around Ben's wrist.

Ben opens his eyes again, head rolling slowly to the side. "You will, Hugo," he tells him. "Whenever you need to be."

Almost everyone shows up to the burial, deep inside the island, and it still storms. Hurley goes back home, stares at the yellow walls and wooden floors, the curtains still slightly pushed aside. He waits for a visit, but it never comes. Funny, he wouldn't have thought Ben would be one to move on straight away.

Now there's just him.

[e-zine] the shephards; stories of jack and claire

colourmayfade — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 17:20:33 GMT

I did some pieces for crickets' amazing project, a jack/claire e-zine (but really, it’s a book, it’s just EPICTIMES). It features new fic by some very talented authors and gorgeous artwork by a bunch of people more interesting than me. Everyone should check it out. *nods*

angela_weber + colourmayfade + crickets + gigglemonster
workswithwords + hitlikehammers + holycitygirl + lenina20
missy_useless + navras_rheya + ozmissage
prettybutt + slybrunette + toestastegood
copy edited by: kmousie

HERE

picspam: the cost of living (lost)

colourmayfade — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:46:36 GMT

picspam. lost. 3x05 - the cost of living. a little image heavy.

notes: I was making some things to post at 8_15 when I realized I was making everything from the same episode. Turns out that I think this is one of the prettiest episodes Lost ever had. And since I don't want to make 8_15 my one-woman Cost of Living party, it all goes in this picspam.

fanmix set: redemption songs (lost)

colourmayfade — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 03:56:38 GMT

fanmix set. lost: jack, kate, desmond, juliet, sawyer. for jjverse

notes: ask and I'll upload individual tracks. No lyrics because the post was big enough. Er, I forgot to put the covers in some of the individual zips. Just copy/paste them from here, ok? lol.

personal note: jfc, never again. Thank you so much everyone on my flist, for putting up with me this week, and especially to a little bunch of you who gave me love and attention amongst other things. Not very happy with the Juliet and Desmond mixes because apparently anythingbutgrey broke me and I can't make mixes without talking it over with her... extensively. THANK YOU! I owe you about a million and one.

01. ALMOST HAPPY | K's Choice
02. TAPE SONG | The Kills
03. RUNAWAY | The National
04. BORN SECULAR | Jenny Lewis
05. WITH ARMS OUTSTRETCHED | Rilo Kiley
06. WHEN I DIED | The Thermals
07. TAKE OFF | Cocoon
08. THE GREATEST | Cat Power
09. TRYING MY BEST TO LOVE YOU | Jenny Lewis
10. WHEN WE SWAM | Thao with the Get Down Stay Down
11. LITTLE LION MAN | Mumford & Sons
12. CREEP (Radiohead cover) | Ingrid Michaelson
13. SATELLITE MIND | Metric
14. OCEANS AND STREAMS | the Black Keys
15. A LEADER ALWAYS CARRIES A STICK | Grizzly Bear
16. NO PROVENANCE | Joanna Newsom

ZIP (81.7MB)

01. big exit (pj harvey)
02. guilty (marina and the diamonds)
03. beat (health, life and fire) (thao with the get down stay down)
04. the passenger (stars)
05. don't watch me dancing (little joy)
06. catch a falling star (nina wall)
07. on a good day (joanna newsom)
08. nobody does it better .carly simon cover. (radiohead)
09. harden my heart (the battle of land and sea)
10. birds and ships (wilco ft. billy bragg)

ZIP / MU (40.9 MB)

01. she comes to me in dreams | Great Lake Swimmers
02. factory | Band Of Horses
03. faithless the wonderboy | Radiohead
04. ghosts | Laura Marling
05. glass | Bat for Lashes
08. lilac wine (nina simone cover) | Jeff Buckley
06. across the universe | The Beatles
07. in a state (total science vocal mix) | UNKLE
10. way back home | Band of Horses
09. six days | Battle of Land and Sea

ZIP / MU (48.7 MB)

01) the suburbs | ARCADE FIRE
02) a window opens | FIRST AID KIT
03) oh my god | IDA MARIA
04) without you i'm nothing (UNKLE REMIX) | PLACEBO FT DAVID BOWIE
05) war | EMMY THE GREAT
06) birds and boats | GREGORY & THE HAWK
07) lonely soul | UNKLE
08) spark | THE BIRD AND THE BEE
09) crawled out of the sea | LAURA
MARLING
10) how lucky we are | MEIKO
11) skip divided (MODESELEKTOR REMIX) | THOM YORKE
12) sorrow | THE NATIONAL
13) i died so i could haunt you | STARS
14) passing afternoon | IRON & WINE

ZIP (64.9 MB)

(01) MOTHER // John Lennon
(02) BETWEEN THE BARS // Elliot Smith
(03) I'M ALRIGHT // Stereophonics
(04) I SHALL BE RELEASED // Bob Dylan & The Band
(05) DROVE THROUGH GHOSTS TO GET HERE // 65daysofstatic
(06) NO HORSE // The Dead Weather
(07) SURVIVALISM (Saul Williams) // Nine Inch Nails
(08) YOU ARE A RUNNER AND I AM MY FATHER'S SON // Wolf Parade
(09) PAPER BOAT // Cocoon
(10) WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT // the Black Keys
(11) NOT YET DARK // Bob Dylan
(12) NOTHING BETTER THAN A JOURNEY TO YOU // Justin Vernon
(13) A SEA CHANTY OF SORTS // Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
(14) NO CITIES LEFT // The Dears
(15) AEROPLANE BLUES // the Black Keys

ZIP (80.7 MB)

Everything: ZIP (megaupload) 318MB

picspam: brown betty (fringe)

colourmayfade — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 23:37:52 GMT

picspam. fringe. 2x19 - brown betty. for jjverse

note: The improvest picspam that ever improved! If you look carefully you'll see the signs of my slacking. Maybe you don't need to look that carefully. idk. idc.

HEY. HERE, HAVE SOME RANDOM ICONS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS PICSPAM:

weapon // cold // orange // light // death

(lol, just rounding it up to 20 points folks. Told ya, improvised post.)

picspam: look how they shine for you (doctor who)

colourmayfade — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 21:37:22 GMT

picspam. doctor who. 5x10 - vincent and the doctor. IMAGE HEAVY LIKE A MOFO.
note: I think I should just stop putting "image heavy" as a warning and call it a given. All my picspams are image heavy, folks. "Why did you have to use so many caps?" you ask. "I really don't know," she answers, honestly. "Perhaps I am in fact a boy in a girl's body, so I feel the need to wave a big sword around." "Yes," you say, "that would explain a lot."

Other explanation is: IT'S SO PRETTY!

"It seems to me that there is so much more to the world than the average eye is allowed to see. I believe if you look hard there are more wonders in this universe than you could ever have dreamed of."

"You don't have to tell me."

"I'm not sad."

"Then why are you crying?" "It's alright, I understand."

"I'm not sure I do."

"Is this how time normally passes? Really slowly... in the the right order."

"Hold my hand, Doctor. Try to see what I see. We're so lucky we're still alive to see this beautiful world. Look at the sky! It's not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there! Lighter blue. And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the winds swirling through the air. And there shining, burning, bursting through, the stars! Can you see how they roll their light? Everywhere we look, complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes."

"I've seen many things, my friend. But you're right. Nothing... quite as wonderful as the things you see."

"I will miss you terribly."

"Well, uh... big question, but to me, van Gogh is the finest painter of them all. Certainly the most popular great painter of all time. The most beloved; his most command of color, the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world... no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind that strange, wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world's greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived."

"Brighter than sunflowers."

- Please don't post these on tumblr - I will post a smaller version of it and a few other picspams of this episode on my own tumblr (inconstante). These are for LJ.
- Who can get me the music (especially the instrumentals) from this episode? You will get a... I don't know, a whatever! A wink and a smile?

stranger than fiction (the lost finale, fiction and sci-fi)

colourmayfade — Wed, 26 May 2010 02:22:49 GMT

or: how I learned to stop worrying and love ~~the bomb~~ ~~sci-fi~~ the finale.

-

A couple of posts I saw on tumblr this week and the last have been ruminating in my mind these past few days. Someone (I can't remember who, I'm sorry) chose Lost as a show that disappointed them for their 30 day meme. The person went on to say that though she loved the show, she also felt it also missed a lot of opportunities and that it could have been even more amazing than it turned out to be.

I think a lot of people would agree with that and even I, in my infinitely optimistic love for the show, have to say that yes, there were moments when I felt it could have done better. Moments when I said "oooh, shit is going down" but nothing much happened.

But that's true for any show, without exception. Even The West Wing, which (according to me!) was flawless for at least two solid seasons, pissed me off sometimes with the choices made throughout its seven years. (Fandom is sometimes a double edged sword in that it makes us become more critical of and, therefore, easily frustrated with the shows we love.)

Lost opened on the shot of an eye. The camera pulled back and we started to get acquainted with not just one but two major characters: Jack and the island. Quickly we discovered a place where not everything or everyone was what they seemed to be. I don't know anyone who ever watched the pilot that doesn't remember the very first sequence, the sense of desperation in seeing this man try to save everyone in wreckage that was so obviously beyond his reach.

When a story begins on such a huge premise, it's hard to live up to it.

On Sunday we saw the show come to an end, and if in begging we saw these people struggling to survive, in the end we saw them struggle with their own mortality.

Whatever problems I had with the show throughout the seasons, especially this one, when there were moments that I just… didn't think it possibly lead anywhere and certainly not anywhere good, I thought it ended just as hugely as it started. Michael Giacchino did tell us it was all about Life and Death, didn't he?

I know a lot of people loved the episode but didn't like part of the ending, and a few people who really didn't like The End at all.

I laughed when Christian showed up. When Jack realized that he had died, my brain went into 'is this really happening?' mode. But somewhere between Christian telling Jack what Sideways was and him walking into that church, filled of the people we loved these past years, I found this incredible sense of peace with that ending. The more I think about it, the more I discover that I loved it.

It was a very open end. I don't know what it means to each of you, I barely know what I think it means, at least not in a rational level. It hit me on a very personal note because of some things I went through this year and I can grasp it better with how I feel about it than with what I think about it.

Theory wise, I like the one that says Sideways was exactly what Christian said and that all these characters died, some sooner, some later, but had such an impact in each others lives that they made that possible. I like to believe that Kate and Sawyer and Claire and Hurley lived long lives. And yes, they died eventually, but then again - we all do. And for me personally, the fact that they were dead doesn't make any of what happened in Sideways any less real.

All of it has me thinking about fiction and the place it occupies in my life.

I was encouraged by my mother to delve into books, and movies and even television was always unrestricted In my house. We managed to make it through my Moulin Rouge phase and my mom always understood that when a new Harry Potter book came out, I'd be in my bedroom, just slightly out of reach for a few days.

It's common sense that fiction gives us a kind of repertoire of lives so that we learn from it just how diverse life is. I think that for the singularities of every story, good fiction allows us to discover what's common in all of humanity aside from what's particular in every life.

I guess I'm so okay with the characters' death because if there is one thing that is common to every single person in the world, it's that we all die. There's something wonderful about a show allowing us to accept that instead of making it all desperately and unavoidably horrible. I also think it's a beautiful idea, that although time wasn't always enough and life wasn't always fair to these characters, their connections were so powerful that they could find each other somewhere else. I feel as though Sideways doesn't have to be looked at as an overtly religious limbo if you don't want it to be, it's just another world.

I understand that a lot of people felt that too many important questions were left unanswered, and I also understand why some people felt the ending somehow negated the island, as though all of it could have happened anywhere else, or as if the whole Jacob/MIB plotline this season was pointless.

I was surprised to find that none of that was a problem for me.

One of my favorite moments of the show was in Walkabout, Locke finding out that he could feel his legs and lifting himself up to walk again. I think that moment, more than the polar bear or the unknown monster noises, was the one that had me going 'there is so much to discover here'. I wanted to know less about what made him walk again than about what's next when such a - miracle? thing? - happens to man.

I did watch for the plot and the mysteries and occasionally found myself sucked in the mythology though I have never been one to go looking for theories, I was always just happy to sit back and let the show develop these things itself. I watched for all those things, but I stayed for the characters, when all of it felt like it wasn't enough.

Seeing a last episode that was practically entirely about the characters and about rounding up the journeys that sometimes felt cut too short was very satisfying for me.

But even so, I'd be upset about the unanswered mysteries if it weren't for the fact that I felt as though the show gave us all the tools to figure out our own answers to those things. I honestly don't need to know who the writers think were in the outrigger or whatever. I was never one to make up answers but now, now I know what's important. That Jacob was a ultimately man, put in the impossible situation of having to go through life alone and trying desperately to prove to the one person who matters that not every one is horrible and the island can be a place of good. I know that, as Ben said, Jacob's way to run things wasn't the only way or even the best way. I felt that was the show's way of telling us that in the end, it is about choices. I also know that the island was in fact important, because sitting in the heart of it was a pit of electromagnetic energy that gave it unique properties and maybe healed and maybe brought people together in a way no other place could.

And overall, I know it was more about the people than about who Adam and Eve were.

I did not grow up on science fiction. I didn't even know what that was until a few years ago.

It took me a while to look at it as more than geeky space mumble jumble. Even as an avid Lost watcher, I always just imagined that this particular show got a free pass because it was about bigger, better themes. (And because it was set on an island as opposed to... set 2000 years in a future where robots have prevailed.)

I didn't realize it's always about bigger, better themes.

But that fact doesn't negate the particularities of each and every story, the importance of every fantasy we build. I think they have a value in themselves.

But also, lately, looking at these stories I've figured that sometimes the real world makes things too… obvious, in the way that you can guess that a story about a priest will involve faith and a story that takes place in a hospital will involve death. Sometimes we take these themes for granted, just as we take them in real life. I think that making up an entirely different universe or a world where magic is real, is also about allowing us to explore these themes that would otherwise go unnoticed.

As though covering the world in fantasy will help us to see what's latent underneath it.

So, yeah, I feel as though the island was needed. I've found my peace with the fact that Jacob lived for centuries and had somewhat magic powers that will never be explained a lot beyond the fact that the island is different somehow. It just is. Thanks to electromagnetism or thanks to supernatural forces, I don't know. It's okay. What's relevant in Richard's immortality is my own mortality, if that makes any sense.

As for all those little answers we never got, well, everyone always complains about how television talks down to us, as though we can't think for ourselves.

Well, here's an ending that encourages us to think for ourselves and find our own answers and decide what we think the end itself means. I cherish it.

And there's another thing that makes fiction magic and that, being here, we all know but don't think about much.

It's that once a story is created and told, it doesn't belong to anyone, not really. Copyrights aside, once it's out there, fiction is almost ever flowing. That's why fairy tales and myths come in so many different versions. It's why some of us read and write fanfiction, from the amazing to the really terrible. Anyone who ever finished a book and thought "... I think that after that, [the character] did [this]" knows what I mean.

Fiction is an antidote to life, of sorts. Life happens and no moment ever stays, sometimes it's too overwhelming and we wish we could step back and take a moment to sort things out, but there rarely is one. Fiction is where you can look at the world and flip it, and then unflip it and figure out where stories should go and rewind when they're not working. It's where you should do that.

And you only let go when you're ready to.

-

I wasn't sure whether I should post this or not, but I'd already written it and I thought maybe someone would want to read it and share their thoughts. But it's not really a review.

Oh, and on the topic of fiction, lostsquee is holding a ficlet challenge right now! Go and play.

picspam: the end (lost)

colourmayfade — Tue, 25 May 2010 16:51:49 GMT

When I realized that I'd made almost 1200 (!!!) caps of the The End (manually!), I knew that things had to be done about it.

I spent this entire season complaining that the show just didn't look as pretty as it usually did. This is my apology. I don't know what's up with the coloring, so don't ask. I forgot my magic wand in my other life.

friends cut.

colourmayfade — Sat, 08 May 2010 15:49:40 GMT

I've never done one before, and I discovered today that I really don't like doing them. I definitely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

But... this was long overdue. Going through my flist was beginning to seem like a chore and I found myself frequently skipping a lot of people's entries. I cut a few people who never update, some whose updates come once in a blue moon and whose lives I struggle to remember, and a few people who quite frankly, didn't seem that interested in knowing me (and the feeling was starting to become mutual).

There were some people I wasn't sure about, so I also wanted to say to anyone who has been thinking of cutting me that it's alright. No hard feelings. Sometimes people just don't click, I guess.

If I cut you because you were inactive and now you're back, or if for whatever reason you feel like I made a mistake, just go ahead and PM me or leave a comment.

For everyone else, it was nice knowing you and I wish you the best of luck! ♥

picspam: 2x16, peter (fringe)

colourmayfade — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 02:43:02 GMT

It's really just a mini spam, I started it on Saturday but now I've lost the coloring mojo. Trying to finish it would make it all uneven and I don't like that. Maybe next time.

You can't conceive, my child, nor can I or anyone, the appalling strangeness of the mercy of God.

I'm not the greatest fan of that quote, but for whatever reason, it seemed fitting. For this episode and for today.

PS* Anyone know where I can find Fringe fic?

fic: 4 ficlets for the alphabet meme. (lost & fringe)

colourmayfade — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 06:15:02 GMT

— note: sorry for this guys, they were written at 3am after Easter is all I can say. I had to post them now 'cause otherwise I wouldn't post them at all.

a change of scene. e is for eden. lost, jack/ana. for mollivanders. apocalypse au (lol). slight crossover with fringe. 239 words. pg-13. (excuse me if this is not really either romantic or them. to be honest, i had trouble remembering what their relationship was like.)

-

There's only room for one world and apparently, it's not his.

This is after the war: he finds a corner, sits. Old habits die hard. His head is still spinning and he'd rather be inside the shelter (a shelter, they call it, for war prisoners. Eden 2. He tries to laugh but it burns like alcohol in his throat. He should have died on that island) because the world outside is white with desolation, and too bright. Always too bright.

Juliet is five gurneys to his right, treating injured patients — doctors and scientists, people they can use to get technology from the losing side. She said, we're not savages, Jack, in this lifetime or the other, he's sure.

They put him in a cage because he refuses to cooperate (it's not a matter of principle, you see) and he could laugh. Footsteps come down the hall, should he even guess who it is?

Ana brings him food (the first day, the second day, the third day), a smile and a reprimand. Attempts to be nice and attempts to be rough and he doesn't tell her that the uniform looks right on her, or that none of this is gonna work. She throws down the plate with his sandwich one day (it breaks two feet to his right), says "What the fuck is this?" and "We all deserve a fresh start."

Jack wants to laugh. Doesn't tell her, still.

she'd rather be scarred than be scarred with love. v is for vendetta. lost, richard and juliet. for mollivanders, also for sacred_20 - faith. 139 words. light r. au.

-

She breaks the mirrors at the lighthouse; Hurley yells, Richard closes his eyes. That's not how you get back at him.

"I know," she tells him and throws the shotgun over her shoulder. "That was for me."

He'd rather have her as an ally than as an enemy, but not by a very long margin.

They sit by the fire one night (countless nights) and he catches her staring at Jack — wonders, you don't hate him? She looks straight ahead, "James made his own decisions," turns to him, "he was all grown up," a little patronizing, blue eyes ablaze.

She still kills him, anyway. Jack. And looks at Locke, says "you can go now".

They're both past believing any of this, past worrying about consequences. He knows there's one more bullet in her shotgun.

He wonders who it's for.

hidden. s is for shoebox. lost, james/juliet - for sadie_carter. also for sacred20 - reverent. 182 words. pg. spoilers for the substitute.

-

Sawyer writes only one letter in his entire life (Dear Mr. Sawyer, you don't know who I am but I know who you are —).

It stays in his pocket, thirty years, and is torn up in the hands of a man who isn't worth one crick in a child's handwriting.

James stumbles around the house — thirty years, not his home — it's hard to find any trace that they once lived there. But he does: kicks the coffee table and finds a hair comb hiding behind it (he'd thrown it there, her legs had wrapped around him, he hadn't cared); one of her books in someone else's shelves.

He puts these things in the box, keeps the pictures, keeps the hair comb, drops the ring in the bottom of the very same ocean she wanted to escape.

(— and I know what you done.)

It stays shoved in the back of his bag and he fidgets his fingers against the edges of the cover when he thinks no one's looking, the paperboard crumpling every day a little more.

It's a love letter of sorts.

when I'm not there. p is for pedestrian. fringe, the bishops. for spyglass_. 189 words. g. post 2x16, Peter.

-

It begins: Peter won't close his eyes while Walter is in the room. And he tries, "you need to rest, my son", runs a hand over Peter's face (— the color is starting to come back) and feels the phantom of a flinch.

Peter takes his hand, but not without some reluctance, and they cross the street. Peter stares, open-eyed, at the ocean and Walter stares, open-eyed, at him. Everything about him is the same and everything about him is different, somehow. This Peter has never seen the ocean before.

They very nearly run into her on the other side, coincidence and chains of events that not even his science could ever explain. Carla, he says, doesn't stumble, won't. She shakes, smiles at the little boy, backs away.

Peter asks, "who was that?" and Walter frowns — "dad's assistant, son. You've met her before."

No, he hasn't.

On Peter's first day at school, eight years old, he lets go of Walter's hand and doesn't look back. Son, Walter calls, never stops repeating. Goes back to the lab, immerses himself in work.

He becomes the other Walter. But, Peter's father.

only when the goal is unattainable.

colourmayfade — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 22:02:51 GMT

- I've reached the point where I seriously can't tell anymore when things look good and when they look bad on PS. This happens every couple of years or so, when I decide I don't care for anything. "This is boring. Let's try... HMMM THIS". It's not that I think everything is coming out bad, it's that I honestly look at them and go "but, is it good or bad"? lol, I can't tell anymore.

- My fucking luck, we're doing a secret easter egg thing in class and I got the only person in the entire class who I truly and honestly hate. How nice. Short straw.

- Make me feel better? Prompt me.

ALPHABET MEME

A is for: Angry Sex - Lost, James/Juliet - aetenae
B is for:
C is for: Coffee - LOST, Sawyer/Juliet - vetica
D is for: David - LOST, Jack/Juliet - sadie_carter
E is for: Eden - LOST, Jack/Ana - mollivanders
F is for: Fucking idiot - Gossip Girl, Dan/Blair - navras_rheya
G is for:
H is for: Hope - LOST, Juliet - aetenae
I is for: Ice - LOST, Jack/Juliet - angela_weber
J is for:
K is for:
L is for:
M is for:
N is for:
O is for: Others - LOST, James/Juliet - mfirefly10 / Once upon a time, Desmond/Juliet - navras_rheya
P is for: Pedestrian - Fringe, Bishops - spyglass_
Q is for: Questions - LOST, the Left-Behinders - valhalla37
R is for: Reunion - LOST, Jin/Sun - tellshannon815
S is for: Shoebox - LOST, James/Juliet - sadie_carter
T is for: Torture - LOST, Kate/Juliet - vetica
U is for:
V is for: Vendetta - LOST, Richard and Juliet - mollivanders
W is for:
X is for:
Y is for:
Z is for:

We all know how it works, yes? Show + Pairing/Character + Word prompt. I'm only writing Lost, Mad Men, Fringe and (lol) Gossip Girl at the moment. Unless you know I really, really, really love a character/couple from another show. But hey, strange pairings and crossovers = go for it. Repeat pairings if you must.

picspam: exodus versus la x (lost)

colourmayfade — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 21:48:54 GMT

picspam. lost s1 and s6. - image heavy, will break your dial-up.

note: Ok, so I started doing this and then I was too far into it to stop but GOD, tumblr must have spoiled me 'cause this took way more work than I'm used to. Also, the colors of Season 6 are wack and make me want to cry bitter tears. Never. Again. Poem Other Lives and Dimensions and Finally a Love Poem by Bob Hicok. Thank you modernthirst for posting it and therefore reminding me how perfect it is.

One of those other worlds
or a life I felt
passing through mine

fic: put out the fire (with gasoline)

colourmayfade — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 19:03:02 GMT

* I keep forgetting to bring this over here. I don't know why, considering that they're in my head.

put out the fire (with gasoline)

lost. summary: He opens the note in the safety of his room and finds two names scribbled inside: the first is a man and the second, an Italian hotel. Sayid can figure out the rest.. sayid/juliet. au for s4. rated: light r. for sacred_20, prompt: healing. written as part of lostsquee's HoHoHos - for aurilly.

a secret tumblr double life

colourmayfade — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:31:49 GMT

inconstante.tumblr.com

If you're thinking to yourself "doesn't she have a tumblr already?", I will answer: yes. But this shall be my crazy fandom postage tumblr, in which I intend to post a lot of messed up things that go on in my head, fandom style. I don't post them in the other one because I added some of my friends who don't know about LJ and my passion for all things screwed up (well, they probably know the second one), or my obsession with certain shows. If anyone is interested in that, follow.

I can't follow anyone back on this tumblr because it's not my default one. If I'm not following you on the first, just give me your username and I will. I still plan to keep it active, only the second one will have more fandom.

I know, it's all very silly and complicated but... you know me.

» And in other news: I've asked for caps in justaquicke. I want icon things that are not Lost but I do not have the will to find caps and so I'm asking other people to do it for me. I've listed fandoms that I'm familiar with, but you guys, my very special flist, can go ahead and ask anything. I'll see what I can do. Oh, and let's face it, this does not mean you can't give me Lost caps too. I'm easy.

picspam: and if only one thing had happened differently... (the curious case of benjamim button)

colourmayfade — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 21:03:33 GMT

picspam. the curious case of benjamin button 'accident' scene. caps from capathon. IMAGE HEAVY.
note: I've seen my fair share of horror movies, but rarely has a scene scared me like this one. It doesn't have blood or suspense and there's nothing in it that is unheard of. I think we've all thought about this once or twice. But seeing it on screen, images passing before my eyes, time going by and feeling that if only of those things had happened ten seconds later... even though this movie is not really one of my favorites, a few things about it stayed with me for a long time after I watched it, and what else can you hope for in a film?

"Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it. A woman in Paris was on her way to go shopping, but she had forgotten her coat - went back to get it. When she had gotten her coat, the phone had rung, so she'd stopped to answer it; talked for a couple of minutes. While the woman was on the phone, Daisy was rehearsing for a performance at the Paris Opera House. And while she was rehearsing, the woman, off the phone now, had gone outside to get a taxi. Now a taxi driver had dropped off a fare earlier and had stopped to get a cup of coffee. And all the while, Daisy was rehearsing. And this cab driver, who dropped off the earlier fare; who'd stopped to get the cup of coffee, had picked up the lady who was going to shopping, and had missed getting an earlier cab. The taxi had to stop for a man crossing the street, who had left for work five minutes later than he normally did, because he forgot to set off his alarm. While that man, late for work, was crossing the street, Daisy had finished rehearsing, and was taking a shower. And while Daisy was showering, the taxi was waiting outside a boutique for the woman to pick up a package, which hadn't been wrapped yet, because the girl who was supposed to wrap it had broken up with her boyfriend the night before, and forgot. When the package was wrapped, the woman, who was back in the cab, was blocked by a delivery truck, all the while Daisy was getting dressed. The delivery truck pulled away and the taxi was able to move, while Daisy, the last to be dressed, waited for one of her friends, who had broken a shoelace. While the taxi was stopped, waiting for a traffic light, Daisy and her friend came out the back of the theater. And if only one thing had happened differently: if that shoelace hadn't broken; or that delivery truck had moved moments earlier; or that package had been wrapped and ready, because the girl hadn't broken up with her boyfriend; or that man had set his alarm and got up five minutes earlier; or that taxi driver hadn't stopped for a cup of coffee; or that woman had remembered her coat, and got into an earlier cab, Daisy and her friend would've crossed the street, and the taxi would've driven by. But life being what it is - a series of intersecting lives and incidents, out of anyone's control - that taxi did not go by, and that driver was momentarily distracted, and that taxi hit Daisy, and her leg was crushed."

* hover over the images to find which part of the monologue they correspond to.

fic: lost fic battle round-up.

colourmayfade — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:01:09 GMT

once in a while comes and it fades away
lost/mad men. summary: Every once in a while he comes in the afternoon. don draper/juliet. 440 words. rated: pg-13. prompt: you're not my first.

but i'll go there again 'cause I want to believe (the gypsy)
summary: "I — I thought that one was called The Lovers." jack/claire. 500 words. rated: pg. prompt: revelation. also for sacred_20, prompt: superstition. warning: incest.

but the worst stays in
summary: And if she likes, I'll tell her lies, of how we'll fall in love by the morning. jack/juliet. 420 words. rated: pg. prompt: elevator love letter by stars.

if the fifth column falls
summary: It's all crumbled walls and two sides that resent each other but live with each other because, what else can they do? the economist (sayid). 335 words. rated: light r. prompt: berlin at dawn.

the lipstick marks on your collar
summary: It cuts in just the right places. sawyer/juliet. 460 words. rated: pg for language. prompt: cold feet.

the streets you're walking on
summary: They've got a card-box of things they'll never use stuffed along with their clothes in the VW Bug; a collection postcards and some money under the back seat. sawyer/juliet. 665 words. rated: g. prompt: I'll be with you in your weakest moments. also for sacred_20, prompt: writer's choice (pilgrimage)

deceitful above all things
summary: He'd forgotten: she's capable of damn near everything when she looks like this. kate/sawyer. 390 words. rated: pg. prompt: the lies we tell ourselves + two truths and a lie.

the needle that broke your back
summary: They feel hunger and pain and thirst and when the wind is too strong, they feel cold. But if they stop eating, and if they stop drinking, and if they stop sleeping — nothing happens. They just go on. They never stop being. charlotte/juliet. 725 words. rated: r. prompt: blood. also for sacred_20, prompt: sanctuary. warning: femmeslash.

+ one that went unposted, tweaked after the premiere:

untitled
summary: "Well, at least it'll be worth it." sawyer; sawyer/juliet, sawyer/kate. 800 words. rated: r. prompt: the ties that bind (the original prompt was kate/juliet/sawyer, but what the hell... the battle is over anyway). spoilers for 6.01. warning: angst!

—

"If I get caught, they'll kill me this time," Karl says. His gaze is far away, somewhere you can't pinpoint in the horizon, somewhere, Sawyer suspects, where there are stars.

He lifts himself up and grins. "Well, at least it'll be worth it."

And that much is true.

—

They're surrounded by torches, they're caught.

Something about that night is creepy for sure, but that's not the worse part. What chills them to the bone, what makes the hair on their arms rise up, what will keep them up at night is: it's concrete. There are Others and not just a few of 'em, and this is their island.

They've crashed their plane into someone else's living room and now they have to be cleaned out.

Sawyer takes a step closer, throws the weight of his body to the left. His fingers hold the metal of his gun with a firm grip. "You touch a hair on her head, I'll…"

"Shut up."

They can't ignore it, anymore.

—

It's raining. It doesn't rain on the damn island for days, while they work under a blazing sun or while they sit in cages, dirt sticking to their skins, a constant reminder that they can sleep but they can't rest because they are not safe.

And now, it rains — the blood on his lip grows thinner, his knees press to the ground. The fabric of his clothes becomes heavier, pulls down to Earth like it wants him there.

"Close your eyes, Freckles," he tells her. Danny's gun is right there, just inches away, close enough to take.

"Stand up!" Kate is saying behind him.

His arms stay still beside his body.

"Close your eyes," he orders and waits for a bullet that doesn't come.

—

The water feels like glass shattering to pieces. His legs hurt with a kind of thick pain but his head is light, brain frozen by the sudden cold, one name stiffened on his lips.

He is happy. For once, he is satisfied. His body is heavy and the water pulls, down, down, down…

—

In a split second: she's running and then she's not.

He's standing behind a tree trunk and his legs work as if of their own will; he's going there and bringing her with him if he has to.

"C'mon, he's dead."

"He's not,' Juliet says quietly, breathlessly. She's reassuring herself, more than him.

"C'mon, you wanna be dead too?" He's screaming. This risk she's taking is stupid and the anger is bitter in his throat. He does not want her dead, either.

He takes her by the hand and doesn't let go. An arrow meant for her misses him, but only just.

—

It's been a long day, an even longer night and he already saved her once.

He's kneeling on the ground, a gun pressed to his neck (what else is new) and hell if he knows why he cares about her hand being cut off.

He doesn't want her to bleed to death.

—

His hand is holding her wrist and he feels her skin slipping under his fingers. Every inch that she goes is another inch that he's lost her and that is what he feels. Not the metal giving in around him, not her weight pulling his arm down so hard that his muscles are about to burst and fall with her.

Every inch is what he remembers. And a constant hum in his ear: no, no, no, no.

—

He keeps not dying, dodging fevers and bullets, missing arrows and chains. He doesn't die for one or the other and he thinks that if only he could —

—

The other time, he remembers everything. The air surrounding them, hot and thick after being trapped in too long. The dirt in his lungs, the metal behind his back. His blood sticking to his face, her blood hardened under his fingertips, her blood on his lips.

He remembers all this because this time, truly, there is nothing he can do.

—

His uncle searches the house, frantic, but makes it like a game. Where is it, where is it?

James stares back, in the quiet and hardened way that he's had since That Day. It's the first of many improvised gifts but sometime soon, he'll learn to appreciate that there's even a gift at all.

In the end, it's an unused stamp sheet. Not much, but it's sparkly, collector stamps from the 70's, which is just enough to fool a kid into thinking it means something.

James turns the paper up and down, against the light. Doug pats him on the head and says, "happy birthday."

Then, never knowing how to deal with him, his uncle continues, "this is yours," James studies the woman's face repeating again and again across the paper, "and this you can keep."

So he holds it, fist tight.

That much is true.

mix: .bloodbank [ep]

colourmayfade — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 19:51:40 GMT

HI FLIST. Yes, I know I'm getting ridiculous with this, I'll stop now. It's just that I woke up when all the world was asleep today (aka, 7am) and then I went on tumblr and found out that Johnny Cash made a cover of U2 and this happened. I cannot be held responsible, clearly. There is a line of sunlight appearing through the clouds outside - I'll go out and have a life now.

ep. lost. jack/juliet. seven songs.
notes: I like to call this 'a very cliché mix' because I used every song everyone has used before! Aaaand. Picture on the back is the x-ray of Ben's tumor. jsyk. Recognized it? A+!

1. blood bank. bon iver

well i met you at the blood bank
we were looking at the bags
wondering if any of the colors
matched any of the names we knew on the tags

you said "see look it, that's yours
stacked on top with your brothers
see how they resemble one anothers?
even in their plastic little covers"

and i said, "i know it well"

2. one (u2 cover). johnny cash

did i disappoint you?
or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
you act like you never had love
and you want me to go without
well it's too late
tonight
to drag the past out into the light

3. loin des villes. yann tiersen

(instrumental)

4. the shape of my heart. noah & the whale

oh when i look to the shape of my heart
it's separated only by scars
that cut in and cut out, or leave me without,
a heart that functions at all

(if there's any love in me, don't let it show
oh and if there's any love in me, don't let it grow)

5. underwater (you and me). clap your hands say yeah

we'll design a clever disguise
we'll retreat to the bottom of the sea
we were destined to live out our lives underwater, you and me

we'll escape beneath the violet sky
clouds come and night falls
you seem different on my mind

6. he war. cat power

i never meant to be the needle that broke your back
you were here, you were here, and you were here
don't look back

7. any other world. mika

in any other world you could tell the difference
and let it all unfurl into broken remnants
smile like you mean it and let yourself let go

'cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man
say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in

ZIP (ask for individual tracks)

~~-Another thing. I really wanted to put Dare and Daring by Gregory and the Hawk in this but I couldn't find it anywhere. If anyone had it and could upload it, I'd be so grateful.~~

colourmayfade — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:38:58 GMT

FIRST CLIP LEAK FROM LOST S6!!! http://spoilerslost.blogspot.com/2010/01/lost-episode-601-la-x-sneak-peek.html#axzz0e1ksU5G1

I'M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW, I'LL DELETE THIS POST LATER.

WHAT??? I'M STILL SPOILER FREE! IT'S NOT A SPOILER IF IT'S A CLIP, IS MY MOTTO.

FREAKING OUT FREAKING OUT.

PS* I HAVE THE BEST ONLINE TIMING EVER, I LITERALLY JUST LOGGED ON WHEN THIS CAME OUT. IT'S LIKE I HAVE ~VISIONS~ YOU GUYS.

picspam: please don't give up on us (lost s3)

colourmayfade — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:06:16 GMT

picspam: So. I'm not entirely sure what happened - I was just capping some scenes for tumblr and then suddenly I was doing this. Yeah. For mollivanders whose Christmas gift I haven't forgotten and will make someday. Not sure yet if I'm doing this with other seasons too. Maybe. Tip: I do, in fact, accept fic as bribery.

- Hover images to find numbers.
- If I wanted these on tumblr I would have posted them myself. Or if you absolutely must have an image or roll on your tumblr, just ask and credit, and I might even give you what you want in a bigger size.

6 DAYS. I'm both excited and terrified.

if only i had a lomo.

colourmayfade — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 22:00:36 GMT

What I wanted was a Lomo camera, but all I got was this crappy PS CS4.

(Well, what I really wanted was a SLR but I don't have that kind of money and I like to keep my dreams within reasonable reach.)

So, instead I tried to make Lomographic effects on Lost - Hydra is kind of perfect for that. Plus, I had the caps. LOL, unfortunately we can't succeed at everything. I'm having a love/hate relationship with this picspam right now. What do you think?

Non-Lost people on my flist: someday I will picspam something that isn't Lost. All I need is the will to cap.

-- WOW FLIST! You really came through on my questions post. ♥♥ You are all awesome. Thank you so much.

picmix: watch the glass house crumble (lost/v)

colourmayfade — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 08:06:57 GMT

a Christmas gift for motorized
picspam/fanmix. lost/v. 15 songs + bonus. 12 images - image heavy.
...hmm, I don't know what to say about this, except: it seemed like a good idea at the time? lol, I don't know what came over me! But, merry Christmas? ~~Oh, and you better fucking like it, 'cause it took forever.~~ Kidding. Kind of.

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL . LOUIS XIV ♪
air traffic control, i've been gone
i've been up, away from home
now my gear is down, i’m circling round
and i am coming in
running out of oxygen
and my fuel is running low
runway lights, where do i go?
i’m looking down but they don't show

STRONGER (KANYE/DAFT PUNK COVER) . 30 SECONDS TO MARS ♪
now that that don't kill me
can only make me stronger
i need you to hurry up now
'cause i can't wait much longer

(harder, better, faster, stronger)

i
need you right now

I FOUGHT IN A WAR . BELLE & SEBASTIAN ♪
i fought in a war
and i left all my friends behind me
to go looking for the enemy
and it wasn't very long
before i found out that the sickness there ahead of me
went beyond the bedsit infamy of the decade gone before

HERE I DREAMT I WAS AN ARCHITECT . THE DECEMBERISTS ♪
here i dreamt i was an architect
and i built this balustrade
to keep you home, to keep you safe
from the outside world

but the angles and the corners
even though my work is unparalleled
they never seemed to meet
this structure fell about our feet
and we were free to go

LEAVIN' ON YOUR MIND . PATSY CLINE ♪
if you've got leavin' on your mind
tell me now, get it over
hurt me now, get it over

don't leave me here in a world filled with dreams that might have been
hurt me now, get it over
i may learn to love again

if there's a new love in your heart

REST MY CHEMISTRY . INTERPOL ♪
such scenes that i regret
oh, those days in the sun
they bring a tear to my eye

tonight i'm gonna rest my chemistry

NEW IN TOWN . LITTLE BOOTS ♪
so don't rely on people you meet
'cause no one is safe in these streets

i'm gonna take you out tonight
i'm gonna make you feel alright

FIRST WE TAKE MANHATTAN . LEONARD COHEN & JOE COCKER ♪
they sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
for trying to change the system from within
i'm coming now, i'm coming to reward them
first we take manhattan, then we take berlin

TEMPTATION GREETS YOU LIKE YOUR NAUGHTY FRIEND . ARCTIC MONKEYS & DIZZEE RASCAL ♪
the only roads are cul-de-sacs,
the only ends are dead

temptation greets you like your naughty mate,
one that made you steal and set things on fire,
but one you haven't seen of late

BACK WHERE I WAS . THE HEREAFTER ♪
and when it hit me
i could not think
i decided i should hideaway

so i did, i did what i could
i did what i did
because it was easy
and i was surprised,
before i knew it i was
back where i was

SECRET MEETING . THE NATIONAL ♪
i think this place is full of spies
i think they're onto me
didn't anybody, didn't anybody tell you
didn't anybody tell you how to gracefully disappear in a room
i know you put in the hours to keep me in sunglasses, i know

and so and now i'm sorry i missed you
i had a secret meeting in the basement of my brain

JIGSAW FALLING INTO PLACE . RADIOHEAD ♪
jigsaw falling into place
there is nothing to explain
regard each other as you pass
she looks back, you look back
not just once, not just twice

wish away nightmare, wish away nightmare
you got a light, you can feel it on your back
a light, you can feel it on your back
jigsaw falling into place

SHAPED LIKED HANDS . UNKLE STILTSKIN ♪
lines in the sand
shaped like hands
to lift us up on our broken legs
but it's not enough
and we lose our heads

dropped from the sky
it burned our eyes
made us think for ourselves at last
and take some steps
to put a knife in the past
need to change where we're going
and to drop the stones we're throwing
and move out of the world and watch the glass house crumble

and what remains
is the stuff that sticks around and dirties haloes
stopped to watch the rain
but we fell asleep and woke up near the window
i won't complain

we press our tongues to the pane
we laugh at the ones on the train
we beat them at their own game

headache, sunburn, nosebleed, your turn
tongue tied, shut down
yeah, there's enough to go around

so then, good luck
please don't give up

build them, burn them
and press them into little squares

as the world turned, we were dreaming about our brains
and how they made us think and twitch and look away
so we stepped back into the shoes we wore that day
and find we're better off now, no matter what they say

CELEBRATION GUNS . STARS ♪
a desert wind and a perverse desire to win
history buried in shame

are those beating drums?
celebration guns
the thunder and the laughter
the last thing they remember

THE BEGINNING AFTER THE END . STARS ♪
will we wake in the morning
and know what it was all for?
up in our bedroom after the war

++++

THINGS I CANNOT RECALL . BLIND PILOT ♪
there are things i cannot forget
i wish none had happened yet
there are some things i cannot forget

there are things i cannot recall
there are some things that would risk it all
but these are the things we cannot recall

ZIP (80MB)

I have some icons of the montages, if anybody wants them.