coldcaptain

V.D.

coldcaptain — Thu, 20 May 2010 02:28:41 GMT

This was my life, my mistake not yours. I have always loved you. But now you're free of me. I'm taking away your pain.

The greatest hits of

coldcaptain — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 17:59:39 GMT

So... It has been a long weekend and this will be the last Monday I'll be spending out of 2009...

My windows is done but there's completely nothing left in it and I'm starting to lose the perception of beauty whenever I see the empty content. I'll be fine though.

Also, last Christmas we've spent it in hong kong having the most amazing time of our lives together - You have never wanted this much to travel with me and ever since we always did. Just like this year, it had yet been another Christmas so you stopped me from sleeping that night and whispered in my ear - Happy 21 months baby it shall be another new year.

Also his mother have began to babysit for one of her friends and this little baby angel named Malcolm that we've been playing and taking care of have never felt so right. It was as though I was looking into his eyes, he was hoping Malcolm was ours I could see his exclamation for happiness. Then again it is a first step to horror life.

I guess right now, everything had to be just right.

Shall be on the treadmill tomorrow and on cider diet, at the same time step into the kitchen with my chef's cooking equipment - gonna deal with cranberry sauce with baked potatoes and bacon bits with coleslaw side and a little Chardonnay from chile for the night.

All because you are not here with me.

Life can be an agony and hurts like hell.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Almost nothing

coldcaptain — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:19:37 GMT

I have been happy for almost a week now. And today I've never felt so sad in a long time.

coldcaptain — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:41:48 GMT

I feel so....... Sad to know that dwarf rabbits and lop ear rabbits are $380 each. We still had a good steamboat at home together though, only the two of us but nothing's better than this right?

Beautiful

coldcaptain — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 04:59:51 GMT

coldcaptain — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 05:09:43 GMT

There are some things that I'm very reluctant... But I love watching Ellen show, Everyday Food by Martha Steward and My Parents House!!!

One liner

coldcaptain — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:27:27 GMT

I'm still back. I've slept for the whole day of +8 GST time it's amazing 3.25am here now I am wide awake since I woke up at 1.15am.

It's morning 6.19am now my boyfriend sent me a "Morning baby" text and I immediately called him back and we laughed unanimously because I think we both knew that we slept too much after traveling from different time zones now we find ourselves unable to fall back to sleep any further. And my greatest reward for being awake, he offered to drive to my place and pick me up and we were apart for only 12 hours and they were spent asleep. Great lord.

Cannot imagine what's day and night and surprises without him. Zouk with party friends tonight - collaboration for late birthday celebration? 18 calls! And the greatest thing in being home? My sister gives me laughter and shit throughout, I even had to sacrifice this awesome journal I bought from Granville Island just for her! But she's sitting for her mid years later in the morning, just how sad I woke her up to ask "Where's my EZ link card?" at 4 in the morning I think she must be struggling to fall back to sleep with her eyes closed now.

We all promised to be better students for the upcoming semester, did we really? It's to a point things must change, and going to Macau on the first day of Hong Kong must change our destiny!!! Let me win dollars multiplied by infinity...

CATS

coldcaptain — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 05:40:33 GMT

Our Complete Idiot's Guide (Drink Driving for Dummies) and ok we're going to Whistler to snowboard tomorrow!

Update

coldcaptain — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 13:26:42 GMT

I'm watching Animal Planet now and it's damn cool I think for the next week that I'm in Singapore I will watch Discovery Channel (Time Warp) and Animal Planet every day and by the end of this holiday I'll be ten times richer in terms of knowledge, hopefully. Ok my holidays are so exciting hehehe k going to catch Soon Hock and rear them. We went Daiso today and bought alot of shit I think buying unnecessary stuff are very addictive don't you think so? And took pictures of rainbow yesterday but too lazy to upload maybe tomorrow.

Quote

coldcaptain — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 11:52:49 GMT

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

-Ghandi

Short update

coldcaptain — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:27:50 GMT

I carve knowledge and readings into my skin, love into my bones, feelings into my soul and passion into everything. There's so much that happened within the span of these 3 days. On the other end of this line is the man that I love -- but the voice -- is disappearing. This life feels more real than that I thought I could handle, here comes the big real world. Of not being able to recognise the old paths that I've walked, of not being able to be the invisible face in the crowd.

Really need a mantra, really need to stop trying, only get going. Really need to start giving up. I cannot study, I've got too many distractions around. I wrote a poem actually, but I decided not to post it. Maybe next time.

Short update

coldcaptain — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:07:34 GMT

My sister won't be home for the rest of the week till Friday so right now my bed has math revision papers all over and scribbled notes and formulas I suddenly don't know which chapter to start revising from. I've got my Advanced Math test tomorrow and then all modules exams next week. Cannot wait, last paper on 12th Dec! Sooooo many plans!!! So today's Tuesday it's relatively my most relaxed day of the week. My day ends at 12noon and I'll troop home slowly... Today Wen Han sent Ronney, Yamuna and I to the bus stop down the road in front of our school. His car damn cool ok? Jerfen and I were messaging each other in class though we're just 2 tables away our dream car and what we're gonna do when we get it which will be next year... So exciting.

It's also about time to start realising how much time I've got left and to live the type of life I desperately need to live. Nothing's planned out yet, I'll be returning work at P.Osh Brownies located at Dobhy Exchange B1-40 on the 22nd to the 24th to help out! Crazy Christmas period and Eilane and Ros will be going back too!!! K if anyone of you are free plssss drop by ok! Still need to find time to visit Jovene at Haji Lane together with the rest during my holidays! Can't wait to see Jaye!! Can't wait to go Hong Kong!! Ok going back to Math now...

How to concentrate with all these thoughts in my head? 9-6 long day again tomo, 3 hours break in between. This week of school is sooooooo boring, rather not have it.

Picture post

coldcaptain — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 10:56:36 GMT

Image-Heavy
Sorry if the pictures are unclickable!
Drag them to your status bar if you want to view larger
Yesterday Yat Aaron Casey and I went to pick Greg up then we went to alot of places like Toa Payoh, Sin Ming Prawn Farm, Kallang Leisure Park to get food for the barbecue in the night and we headed back to Yat's place to play hotel626 with closed curtains, in the dark and under the blanket. K I swear the 4 guys are damn scared k!!! No one dared to control the mouse so we kept failing and skipping the stages... Played a little of guitar hero while waiting for Jotham and then we drove to Michelle's place for the barbecue.

Everyone started coming later in the night, Jovene and Jocelyn came after Jov's work and then everyone came in the end. We took alot of pictures with alot of cameras it was massive it was fun and we had alot of jumping shots which looked really retarded!! We talked a bit here and there and Yat and I had a great time in the day talking to each other... I missed him so much I know I've been saying how much I've missed him and all but I can't help it. I didn't see him for 2 weeks... Reached home about 2am, showered and crashed on the bed. 9am lesson in the morning today, arghhhhh.

Exams in 7 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More with Jotham and Michelle..... Ok last night was fun, and school today was redundant. I just stoned in class surfing facebook all the way waiting for time to pass and now I'm at my mum's office waiting for her lesson to end. I want holidays!!!!!!!!! Can't wait for this year to be over, and next year!!!! Soooooo exciting cause...

1. It's a new year, don't we all want a new year?
2. I can celebrate birthdays again!!!!
3. I will be 18 next March.
4. Yat's attachment will be ending hopefully Feb or earlier.
5. I'll be able to spend alot of time with Yat before he goes into army.
6. I don't have to stick with this "Freshie" label in school and move on to Year 2!
7. Get out of this noob phase in IT, want to skip and learn more!!!
8. Grow one year olderrrrrrrrrr ok this applies to everyone.
9. Get $$$$$ during Chinese New Year again!!
10. Yeahhhhh, shop for new clothes!!!
11. To be implemented..... (Java programming language)

Long fight

coldcaptain — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:12:20 GMT

Made History, Making History.

coldcaptain — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:07:08 GMT

I woke up this morning feeling different from the other despondent days. The joy of happy mornings without having any sores or aches from the previous nights. It's almost dinner time and both Yat and I just woke up from a very long and good sleep. And now we've both washed up he's in the kitchen whipping something up for my stomach when I felt it tinge just now. He often places good dishes on the dining table for me, and last night's steamboat at his place with Jotham, Jye, Yat and myself was exceptionally good when we can hear F1 cars blazing right out his window. It was midnight when they left and it was 2 in the morning when I reached home again.

This morning I followed my morning cup of tea with half a packet of packed rice by my grandmother. Now I find myself missing her innocent face when everytime she asks me to adjust the volume in her phone because she could barely hear it ring anymore. A part of me hates the fact that she will be leaving me anytime and another part of me just wants to be the best grand-daughter she'll ever live to have. I missed lunch during noon, and now it's dinner time. Time has no mercy...

Image-Heavy

There isn't any picture of me on the mahjong night because I was the one busy taking all their expressions and the other half the time kept myself occupied by watching soccer and playing the other half mahjong when Lee's not playing. Ha ha.

That's Lee when he's playing

Them

I couldn't get a clear one because they were playing too fast to ask them to stop

He steals all my fortune but Lee made him pay back by winning $19.20!!!!!!!

This was yesterday while prawning with Yat, Jotham and Jye and some prawning centre in Bishan... We caught hell alot of prawns including big fat ones and ones that are still pregnant. Ha ha funny shit happened yesterday but it's impossible to put it into words but it was crazy. It was my first time prawning by the way. And we decided that there isn't such term as prawning it's just a term everyone made it up by themselves. I think.

We wanted to have a barbecue over at Yat's place so we cabbed to Leisure Park to get more food at the supermarket but they ran out of charcoal... So our alternative was a steamboat instead and you know how I can't eat prawns so they finished all our catch. It was fresh and good :P

Jotham and Jye

First prawn Jotham caught

I quite like this :P

Our bait

Took the lighter and tried cooking the claw

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I got very restless and bored because there wasn't any catch left in our area till we moved over to the next pond then I felt a little better by catching 3 more big prawns :)

Looks like cheese in Tom & Jerry right?

Prawns....

From his kitchen window

Jye and I stood standing hearing the F1 roaring

His 4 rabbits...

The fat rabbit

Good beef :P

Dinner time!!!

Let's call it off

coldcaptain — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 05:23:29 GMT

This journey of being friends goes on forever, and the parties never ends. There was so much in us we had to talk about. Talk about the changes that we've went through in life, talk about the differences in our schools, talk about the previous closed chapter left in St Nicks and talk about our boyfriends. We don't really want anything to end, we had so much in common, even until now.

I like to hear about stories of my friends when they tell me they're having good luck with a man in their lives, and then I can't stop thinking about my previous stories where I had so much luck with many different people in mine. Today is another day I'll be out of my place alone, a part of me hates being too lonely and another part of me hates to be constantly socialising. I've got to help my mum run an errand and then help myself to get my second diploma books and readings and then I'm left with nothing lined up for the rest of the day. Maybe, maybe I'll call Zhihui to ask if she's free later...

I just realised I look naked here

I miss St Nicks. And calling out to Rah and Ade, meet up soon before school starts! :( I miss you guys too!

Maybe I'll get this Cheap Monday jeans later. Like shopping for the depressed.

Genting with Yat Ben Jueyi Terri Fiona Liana Mum & Annie aunty

coldcaptain — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:38:07 GMT

"Life sucks, take drugs." - Ben
"Life sucks, get fucked." - Jolene
"Life sucks, go mug." - Terri

I finally got around to head out of this pea place with my good friends (Kenneth and Clarence are missing) and they're the most wonderful bunch I've ever headed out with because they can come up with the most ridiculous and most retarded things ever I swear. And this trip will justify my fear for haunted museums probably for a lifetime as long as this fear doesn't rid me...

There probably isn't much to do in Genting but with them, every day seemed so eventful and everyone's tired at the end of it. Ripley's Believe it or not, Ripley's haunted museum, bowling, arcade, outdoor theme park, indoor theme park, LAN, fun in the hotel room, sleeptalking and snores at night, lazy mornings, 15RM wanton noodles..... The three days spent away are fucking intense and that's all that I've really got to say.

Image-Heavy

I have whole 5 albums in facebook so view the majority of it there!!! (If you're my facebook friend)

Our huge cruiser bus on the trip there \m/

Probably the only shot I have of Ben sleeping ha ha ha

That's Yat with my mascott (Different from Taiwan's)

My mummy!

Annie aunty! (Mum's colleague, mother of Liana and Fiona)

Hip mums!

Preparing for Ripley's haunted museum

Me after crying from the haunted museum

This rolling of tongue thing was a prank!

It was a small cubicle :P

Jueyi can come up with the funiest expressions ever

Tarzan - Tarjo

Tarzan - Tarri

Ben and Jueyi totally crack me up!!!

Notice Jueyi's expression

Luckiest chair in the world

This is my lucky chair ha ha ha

Two trying to help, one a burden

Notice Jueyi again

If I had legs that long and skinny!!!

Ben looks like a lemon here

Cool shit I tell you

And we spent a total of 2 hours in Ripley's Believe it or not!!!!!

WTH!!!!! HAHAHAHHA Win.

Must have gotten his spare

You'll learn to give funny expressions like Jueyi

See the 2 pins left?

Look at Ben's face!!!!!

Do you realise their shirts matches their cars?

A new friend I made from Japan

That's Fiona and Liana

Shaker fries!!!

Basically I got everything remembered wrongly like "Cyclone" as "Cyclops", "Caterpillar" as "Bumble Bee", "Simulator" as "Stimulator"... And Ben's was "Dragon" as "Dragon Booster" (We don't know where he got that from) and more pictures in Terri's and Jueyi's cam..... Was definitely fun with all of them! And casino so more $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ hehehehe.

Life sucks, take drugs!!!!!
Overused phrase by all of us these three days ahahahhaha thanks to Ben!

Today is the... 15th

coldcaptain — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:54:36 GMT

How, how does it feel to spend your time at home for three days in a row feeling as sick as a parrot and have no other choice but to just lay down and the only way is to sleep the pain away? Yet whenever I lay down I just start thinking and thinking and then my heart starts pounding and I'm wide awake. I have so much time on my hands so I spent them trying to sort out my room and thoughts. It was three days ago I cleaned up and regoranized my room that I really hate and I am always disturbed by the fact that I cannot sleep in air-conditioned room so that explains why I do not have an air-conditioner in my room, which totally sucks.

Earlier today, I then got too bored sorting out the clothes in my wardrobe, and the next moment I found myself lying on the floor listening to Jason Mraz that I've put on replay on my player and it could have possibly gone on all night. The last time I did that I was laying there in my underwear and a ginormous tee but that was the time when I was out of love many months back. I just missed being around the people I feel comfortable with and missed throwing myself in the arms of a few good friends whom I'll be going Genting with this Saturday. I really can't wait to be on this trip with them, and I really can't wait for my plans in December.

You've got to choose a job, a career, a damn cool car, your friends, your financial ability, a home, your rocking fucking fashionable clothes, luggages, a fucking big television for entertainment needs, apple over other retailers in the world, damn good laptop, and you've got to choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Monday when the week have past and a new week have come. Just like me. Who am I, and who are you? Do you really know or are you a lie? I hate every single part of me and it makes me feel sick for being me. Enjoy the remaining of your fucking Monday, whether you're blowing your minds off studying or having the best times of your lives because I don't care, not now.

Taiwan

coldcaptain — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 04:20:21 GMT

It took me a week to let out this cry that I've bottled up within before setting foot in Taiwan and finally back here in Singapore. When I got back home and laid on my bed, my thoughts like a torrent of words swirling around my head tumbling over each other. I thought about all the things and changes in life that I've went through, about all the secrets I've been keeping for people and myself, choking on all the things I want to say... I can't, and I won't.

Every night in Taiwan we walk the streets till we're satisfied with our treasures, every night in Taiwan we'll eat types of food we'll never get to find in Singapore till we're bloated, and every night in Taiwan we'll be spending bits and parts of our cash till we're almost broken. But it's all good. A map we used to navigate ourselves around Taipei, hunted down all the night markets and shopping places, and a train out of Taipei to the mountains and valleys. Tantrums were thrown, but it's all good.

Image-Heavy
Don't click the cut if you hate looking at food

But all the food and shopping didn't do any justice to my weight and wallet. I gained 3kg when I got back :(
(In no chronological order)

O-k this is the smelly tou-fu in Taiwan. I totally hate the smell of it but a bite of it tastes just good :)

Their shark fin's soup, I had a total of 3 bowls in a week!!!

We had teppanyaki with free flow of drinks, soup and rice...

LOVE THIS!!!!

Not prata...

A train out of Taipei...

A bus up the mountains..

My mascott I brought along from Singapore

This is fun!!!

coldcaptain — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:12:55 GMT

Ok I got this from Sharon (baldapple) ahahah

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Default Subject

coldcaptain — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 07:15:33 GMT

I don't think I'll ever understand how people and friends confuse you, and how they make you think in circles.

Quote

coldcaptain — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 04:15:05 GMT

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.” - Marcel Pagnol

And I think the common problem we have is that we find it harder to be happy than sad. Even me, even everyone else. Are the happy things in life too insignificant to be even noticed? Yesterday while taking the underpass to Shaw I decided to exit at TANG's underpass for a change. While walking past Marriott hotel towards another underpass I saw a banner at the construction site of old Scotts which read, "SAFETY starts with ME". It reads perfectly fine but if people like me with a twisted sense of humour reads it, shouldn't it be "SAFETY starts with SA?"

I will have a hard time reconciling with my lifestyle after this period of disaster. No booze or anything else and have almost finished spending my meagre amount left of savings in my bank to have become this really poor soul. By the time I get my pay, the sad truth would be that I'd already have spent half of what I worked for. The sun's up, hiding behind many clouds. Time, time to be involved in a day's activities. This palpitating heart, and I wonder what it beats for.

Default subject

coldcaptain — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 03:00:50 GMT

Thank you all who've meant well and cheered me on in my previous entry here. She's now out of emergency and have been warded in another observation ward. And later today we're going to have a huge family gathering lunch with high-tea and she's not able to attend. And because of all of these worries I think I'm going to break my promise again.

Last night was my P.Osh brownie chalet and it was crowded, heartwarming and fun! I played mahjong for 3 consecutively hours and obviously lost quite a bit of money but in the end before I was about to leave they tallied and I won! O-k so that is not the point. I tell you, Eilane's (esplay) soooo cute! And I just found out she was waiting for an AA spree. O-k I promise the next time I spree smth I'll let you know first!!!

Eilane: Whoa you ah! I'm overaged so I'm o-k. But you're underaged!
Jolene: *Burst out in laughter*

Superrrrrr cute! I need pictures........

School fugs the ass outta you

coldcaptain — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 14:36:38 GMT

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.
It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

I have a dream today!
-Martin Luther King
Martin Luther's still my top favourite speaker besides Lessig Lawrence, the one who was the founder of Creative Commons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creative_Commons). Shah asked me today if I enjoyed speaking in front of a group, of a crowd. I thought for a moment, actually I really do enjoy speaking, sharing my ideas and leaving the crowd pondering and feeling satisfied myself. Maybe this is what I'm made to be, maybe this is something that I haven't realised it in myself yet. But I'm still constantly finding myself, and this is not the end.

The following two weeks will strip me from death slowly, and time will suck my blood dry while I'm working hard at my assignments... I lay my finger on the last butt in my pencil case and I tell you it's all luck. From this year I lived the Earth has completed 197 turns and here I am now, and it takes it another few thirty turns to change who I am, and what I will be. Every single detail about myself and life I've thought about still vividly displayed in my head, and I can pick them apart without knowing where to start. But I won't die here, I know this much, and this is my last butt.

A feeling you cannot call it right

coldcaptain — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:59:40 GMT

In my pjs, lying on the bed watching my lungs expand and contract.
Lifeless, voices ringing constantly in my head.
Every nerve in my body felt triggered, then feeling the valve of my heart opening and closing.
My fingers pressing against my pelvis, twisted.
These thoughts return, they always return.
This phrase "What was once old is new again" is definitely working for me right now. Remember I used to talk about how I'm going to pick up sewing and start sewing my own dress? I did, but I failed badly in it. Either because I didn't have proper control over the machine or my discipline totally suck. Pick one. So my mum dug out her old dresses and sent it for alteration to 15" length from waist down for me. They're some quite unique pieces and I hope I can pull them off... But I'll definitely post them up once I get the altered pieces.

Charlie Theron... From Hancock! (Acting as Mary, the other woman with superpowers)
I love both her hair and her eyes. She somehow reminds me of Angelina Jolie without the sexy thick lips and the tattoos but that's not the point. Point is, they're both as hot to me anyway. And maybe together with Liv Tyler (One who acted in The Incredible Hulk and The Strangers as well) with her bang-like fringe. I think they're awesome!

More of Charlie Theron
A few NSFWs (Not safe for work)
Contains Partial Nudity?
Image Heavy

I managed my own fringe again, I don't know I think I'm eager to try out new hairstyles and maybe that explains why I get unsatisfied with my own easily right now... But I can't bear to part with my long hair to accomodate the short. So I guess I can only keep it this way until I find a look I can pull it off really well. Sometimes doesn't it bother you like how fat you see yourself in the mirror despite many people commenting that you're not? Doesn't it bother you like how others could pull off such preppy yet classic clothes yet you cannot? Doesn't it bother you how this world is mostly about fashion and trends that you feel like an outcast if you don't at least talk or think about it once?

Then why are we constantly trying to find new ways to wear clothes that are used at its minimal, oversized tops, and now where high-waisted is so in the trend? Two years ago, it was the hottest thing in town to own a pair of skinny jeans of your own. Then it lead to altering of jeans from your older ones. Now that high-waisted is the next hottest thing in town, I really wonder what's the next hottest after this high-waisted fever is over?

Nuff' said, I'm just trying back the basics...

Life's riding on this monochrome wheel, boring and mundane. A few of the many things I'll never fail to do online is to

a) Check my email
b) Searching for inspirational pictures
c) Updating myself on my Friends' lives
d) Updating my own journal
e) Hunt down all the gossips on the net
f) Explore as many nice communities in livejournal and add when applicable (If it meets my needs)
g) Play online games when I'm bored and I'm sure there are quite a handful that both you and I have in common...

But I'm running out of sites to visit, places to look for nice photos, clothes to put on my own body. So if you're nice, please share with me or with anyone else out there what are the few sites you usually go when you're online? I need to kill some time, sometimes.

A few pictures from here which I find them stunning and I'd love to share...

I love the last picture, I am the American Dream!! It's amazing how girls don't get sick of browsing at pictures of other girls and after doing so only ending up with envy... I don't get it but I've only got one dying question to ask. Are we really made this way? Cow and I have been talking about S. Maybe it's worth just one try.

Goodnight,
Love you all!!!
♥ ♥ ♥