On "gay-dar"
A fellow college student once coined the term. It's the ability to tell the difference between a gay man and a straight one. Her gay-dar, as she's often proudly stated, is 20/20.
Mine's broken. Seriously, someone could be absolutely flaming and I wouldn't notice. Once someone mentions that the person is gay, I'll start noticing all the signs I missed before, but until then, I remain clueless. Until last week, anyway, when I started suspecting one of the American students here. Sure enough, today he mentions his boyfriend back home. Eureka.
I was moderately pleased with myself for overcoming a previous blind spot... for a while. Then it started occurring to me: what use is this? My college friend, who is a straight female, would want to know if the male she plans to flirt with at the bar has a chance of being interested. Another gay male would want the ability for the same reasons (only backwards). But me? As a straight male, all my guy friends are going to be just friends, so their orientation doesn't matter (unless their gay-dar is similarly malfunctioning and they decide I'm potential dating material).
So, unless I'm trying to hook up my friends with someone who may be the wrong gender for them (and I never try to meddle in the affairs of love anyway), the only use left is to categorize people. No good can come of that. I don't want to think of someone as "my gay friend." What point is there? To shun him, consciously or subconsciously? To think better of myself because I have a gay friend and have therefore proven myself above bigotry? No, he should just be my friend, sans label. Nothing more needs to be said.
Maybe that's why God broke my gay-dar in the first place. *shrug*
Mine's broken. Seriously, someone could be absolutely flaming and I wouldn't notice. Once someone mentions that the person is gay, I'll start noticing all the signs I missed before, but until then, I remain clueless. Until last week, anyway, when I started suspecting one of the American students here. Sure enough, today he mentions his boyfriend back home. Eureka.
I was moderately pleased with myself for overcoming a previous blind spot... for a while. Then it started occurring to me: what use is this? My college friend, who is a straight female, would want to know if the male she plans to flirt with at the bar has a chance of being interested. Another gay male would want the ability for the same reasons (only backwards). But me? As a straight male, all my guy friends are going to be just friends, so their orientation doesn't matter (unless their gay-dar is similarly malfunctioning and they decide I'm potential dating material).
So, unless I'm trying to hook up my friends with someone who may be the wrong gender for them (and I never try to meddle in the affairs of love anyway), the only use left is to categorize people. No good can come of that. I don't want to think of someone as "my gay friend." What point is there? To shun him, consciously or subconsciously? To think better of myself because I have a gay friend and have therefore proven myself above bigotry? No, he should just be my friend, sans label. Nothing more needs to be said.
Maybe that's why God broke my gay-dar in the first place. *shrug*