They tell me I'm crazy, you told me I'm golden

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

2011-10-17T23:16:13Z

SOME EVIL FUCKER FROM TEXAS HAS HACKED INTO MY EMAIL AND FACEBOOK.

RUDENESS. SO MUCH RUDENESS. CAN BARELY SEE FOR ALL THE RUDENESS.

Hence, absence from livejournal.
BECAUSE THEY ALSO HACKED THAT.

I HOPE YOU DIE PAINFULLY. Hopefully from some computer-related explosion.

Not bitter. [twitch] Not bitter at all. [twitch, twitch]

---

2011-08-28T12:03:43Z

Me right now: "Oh yeah, I'm gonna tidy my room, I'm gonna get everything sorted, I'm just going to put some music on. [turns laptop on] But first let me check my e-mails."

Two hours later.

FFS.

Hungover.

Oh My Me

2011-08-24T22:20:09Z

I had a very surreal moment the other day in a club when I was boodling on and nearly fell off my heels when the theme of Baywatch started.

Then about halfway through I realised I knew all the words; like what the fuck, Josie? and past!josie? When did this become something that entered your mem-brain. Confusion, much. But then I just went with it and pretended to run in slow motion.
AS JESUS TAUGHT.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

2011-08-19T00:00:15Z

I WANT MY PAID ACCOUNT BACK. [weeps into my handkerchief]
Alas, I have no money. And Livejournal is yet to get back to me on my body-offering. RUDENESS.

I HAVE NO BORGIA ICONS!

Fuuuuuuuuuh--

2011-07-29T23:06:09Z

She just seems to be the most fucking gorgeous person on the planet.

THESE FLAUNT PHOTOS ARE JUST STUNNING.

Dianna Agron, why you make me weep?

Oh.

2011-07-08T22:15:09Z

Oh. Life is over. Dear Gosh is it over.

neon-lit-habits.tumblr.com

Follow. Me.

It's like gold dust; you hear me coming through your speakers

2011-04-03T20:59:08Z

22nd of February was my last post? UNACCEPTABLE.

Short-story-made-even-shorter: I've just been really ill and exhausted and BLAAAAAAAAAAH I am boring myself. Suffice to say, I haven't really had anything to post other than: tired again, sick again, bored again.

Howeverrrrr,I GOT A NEW JOB.
Trainee Dental Nurse, starting tomorrow. Good times, good stuff, good people.
At least, if nothing else, it's a challenge. It's to occupy my brainbox.

Anyways, because of all of this, because of the new job, I have done a Friends Cut.

It's just that I want this journal to be about connections and I don't have the energy and devotion to keep it up with people I rarely speak to or never got close to. Hence cuttage. Nothing personal; nothing you've done; nothing wrong with your journals or anything. Just me needing to be lazy and selfish for a little bit, and not wanting to inflict that on people that I don't already adore (aka, there are certain people stuck with me for the rest of their LJ lives). Love you, miss you already, ~~live long and prosper~~.

Preparing myself for Game Of Thrones though; omg I can't, I don't, I won't-- I can't even begin to describe my joy for this book, I am just devouring it. And my gosh, I keep seeing the promos and my gosh, everyone is so perfect and wonderful and it's all coming true and better than I could have hoped for. OOOOOOOOOOHMYGOD. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMYGODDDDDDDDDDD

Latest challenge: to post everyday for a month.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

2011-02-07T14:54:53Z

My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived. My books have arrived.

GAME OF THRONES, IT IS ON.

EXPECT THOUGHTS.

Right there on the front: characters so venomous they could eat the Borgias
BWAH.

This is the day with the Pilgrims, yeah?

2010-11-25T21:31:08Z

Okay, so I'm English and I literally don't know anything about Thanksgiving save for what TV has taught me, but- with global peace in mind- to everyone who celebrates it:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Dancing Chris wishes you well.

you, you strange-- you almost unearthly thing; THUUUUUUNK

2010-11-24T00:47:31Z

I won't lie, I am REDONK-excited for this.
I need people to capture the Rochester that's entirely Byronic, the one that says 'do you find me handsome?' and means YES YOU DO, the one that has most definitely slept with Blanche Ingram.
(SIDE NOTE: I cannot deal with people who don't think he at least had an interest in her. I'm sorry, she's beautiful and easy and entirely enamoured with him. And he is cocky but self-deprecating, insecure and assured and A FUCKING BOSS, of course he's at least noticed her. Bitch please.)
But anyways, mething Fassbender might be the dude to make me happy.
1) I love him. And his faaaaaace.
2) I may have already mentally cast him as Blood-sucking!Victorian-Era!Slut! in my Vampire Period Drama that zombie_boogie prompted me aaaaaaaaaaages ago.
Haven't got around to it yet. But me haz ideaaaaaaas.
Anyways, so I know he can do it. I've seen him do some pretty intense acting ~~in my imaginary TV series~~.
3) I just genuinely believe he has the charisma and arrogance to play the part teamed with that dry, English wit and self-deprecation. That dark thing in the corner of his mind has this habit of playing right across his face.

And I just want it to reaffirm the faith I have in Mia. Her in In Treatment was just glorious. THIS WILL BE GOOD TOO.
(I hope. I keep hoping.)

PLUS THEY ARE ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGING IT AS A PIECE OF GOTHIC FICTION. YES. Ahem. YES.

I am addicted to Biffy Clyro's latest album- ARE YOU LISTENING? WHY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING?!- alt rock, indie, exp rock at it's modern fiiiiiiinest.
Favourite tracks include: God & Satan, The Captain, Shock Shock.
There are more.
I won't list the whole album though. Because that's dull.
~~Psst. Would you like the album?~~

Ugh. I'm being taxed at basic rate which is TWENTY PERCENT OF MY WAGES. WHAT IS THIS?! GET OUT OF MY PAYCHEQUE because they think I still have two jobs.
I DON'T-- SO STOP IT!
And then I ring them up and they're all: "do you have this number?" (oh btw, I'm imagining this woman in Liz Lemon's Princess Leah voice) so I'm like No. What's that?
"Well, it's kind of what employer's give-- Just ask your employer."
"Thanks." [you unhelpful git]
"I don't think its fair for me to be a juror, because I can read people's thoughts"
"Yeah, okay. I'll get back to you."

One thing I do love about finally being taxed is that I can finally moan about taxes. FUN

I have to tidy my room.
But googling pictures of Michael Fassbender is hellza more appealing.

GO HERE AND PROMPT ME FOR CHRISTMAS IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY

If I hear The Pogues one more time before December, I will cut a bitch.

2010-11-23T22:48:58Z

FIC ADVENT CALENDAR, because I have nothing else to do:

First come, first serve: CHOOSE A DATE AND GIVE ME A FANDOM + PAIRING + PROMPT (doesn't have to be Christmas-themed but by all means can be)
DOOOOOO IT:

Y'all know my fandoms but if you don't- Glee. Skins. Misfits. Doctor Who. Community. Whedonverse. Really any book or film I've read. Grey's Anatomy (though right now, I can only write till the end of season six).
Just check my userpics, profile, the ramblings (oh, the ramblings) and you'll get an idea. I heart being challenged.

December 1st- my rorylie, Grey's Anatomy- Alex/Lexie- Babies + Christmas
December 2nd
December 3rd
December 4th- austen, Community- Britta/Annie or Jeff/Annie- the only moment we were alone
December 5th- ilikesponges3, Skins- Naomi/Freddie- Naomi visits Freddie in his shed
December 6th
December 7th
December 8th- nursebadass, Grey's Anatomy- Cristina/Burke- candycanes
December 9th- arsenicsugar, Glee- Tina/Anyone- Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)
December 10th
December 11th
December 12th- whisper_lillies, Glee- Kurt-Rachel friendship- slumber party
December 14th- stacefaceex, Glee- Puck/Quinn- both buy presents for Beth
December 15th
December 16th- ahigheroctave, Glee- Puck/Quinn/Sam- Lyin' Eyes
December 17th
December 18th- penny_lane_42, Doctor Who/Skins- Eleven, Cassie Ainsworth- watching the stars slide down to reach the end
December 19th- marketchippie, Buffy The Vampire Slayer- Spike/Drusilla- written on the body
December 20th- ahigheroctave, BtVS- Spike- Secret Santa
December 21st- xpandapoo, Glee- Brittany/Santana/Puck- they all know popularity is important in surviving high school
December 22nd- waltzmatildah, Grey's Anatomy- Alex/Rebecca- The Hardest Part (Washington)
December 23rd- a_bemused_muse, Glee- Brittany/Santana- coconut
December 24th- yesssirrr, Glee- Quinn/Santana friendship with side Brittana- a stroll through the park
December 25th- rorylie, Grey's Anatomy- Jackson/Cristina- war is over (if you want it)
December 26th- marketchippie, Borgias- Lucrezia/Cesare
December 27th- marketchippie, Pulp Fiction - Pumpkin/Honeybunny - the world is not enough
December 28th- zombie_boogie, Glee- Rachel/Jesse, Kurt/Blaine- the best ship is friendship
December 29th- waltzmatildah, Grey's Anatomy- Alex/Izzie- Mace Spray (Jezebels)
December 30th- rorylie, Grey's Anatomy- April/Jackson- Another year over (a new one just begun)
December 31st- waltzmatildah, Glee- Puck (/Quinn), clap your hands (Sia)

You smell homeless, Brett. Homeless; Glee 2x07 review

2010-11-18T12:45:11Z

Seriously. I am not amused.
That wrestler-chick who macks on her cat needs to wear a fucking mask like the Japanese do. SNEEZING ON PEOPLE IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

I’M NOT LYING, if they did a spin-off called Baby Gleeks, I would watch it. It’d be like Kids Say The Funniest Things WITH MUSIC.

Will, are you watching the Food Network channel? Because seriously, we might be more compatible than I thought. MIGHT BE. But that’s my go-to Sick TV. And non-sick TV. I JUST LOVE COOKING.
EW. ANAL TEMP-TAKING. EW.
This episode has done nothing but disgust me.

Rachel, I’ve been compiling a list. Get back to me.

JESSE ST. JAMES WAS MENTIONED.
THE GOD.

Gwyneth Paltrow, don’t make me hate you.
I’m pretty indifferent. Let’s not make it hate.
I WILL PUT AN ALLIGATOR IN YOUR CAR IF YOU DO.
“You smell homeless, Brett. Homeless.” Kurt, you is much of the fabulousness.

I WANT THERE TO ALWAYS BE BUTTERED FLOORS. IT MAKES FOR AMAZING TRIPS.

RAYCHEL, SHE CHOSE MIKE CHANG. ONLY MORE HINTS AT THEIR EPIC LOVE.
Erm, potential favourite Glee moment of the season? LET’S BE EACH OTHER MORE OFTEN, YOU GUYZZZZ.

BWAH! Schue bums Journey so hard.
~~Here’s where I admit that I’m not really their biggest fan and only knew that Don’t Stop Believing was theirs. But didn’t know any of the others till they started singing them.~~

I really hate when people start songs with: HIT IT!
Unless it’s ironical. Then it’s good.
But not when you think you’re being awesome and you’re not.
But I do love when Cheerios become a Trio Of Awesome again. Oh, and when we remember that Mercedes and Artie sound pretty good together. FUN.

Gwynney can siiiiiiiiiiiiing. But there is something a tad uncomfortable/OTT about her singing/miming. I will get back to you when I have more information.

But-- like, please don’t give her too much. It will make me cry. My hives will be star-shaped. METAPHORS ARE IMPORTANT.

SUE AND BIESTE MAKE ME HAPPY.
I’d ship it if it wasn’t so clichéd.

THE JOURNAL IS BACK.
AND SO IS BECKY THE SPY.

Donald O’Connor is one of my heroes. DO NOT MESS WITH HIM, SCHUE.
I will end you.
But saying this, I have so wanted this duet since these two did a little dance-off on Oprah, and now I’m like: OMG, THE LOVELY DANCING.
But still: Schue. Ew.

WILL, STOP DREAMING ABOUT STUDENTS. IT’S CREEPY.
~~But if you will, dream about Rachel. Please and thank you.~~

SEE, WRESTLER, RACHEL KNOWS THE WAY OF THE MASK.

Broccoli gag is hilarious.
Toilet brush and gummy bear house?! GOOD TIMES.

Here’s what I hate:
Carl (Stamos/Stamos) was all YEAH, EAT SOME CANDY. And this is good advice, candy is delicious. But Then Paltrow’s all “Woo. Test answers. Have some.” And I’m just like-- WUH?! No, He will never learn this way.
And yes, giving them freedom is good, but cheating is not.
Hi, I’m Josie, and I like rules. And abiding them.

Will is rocking Hobo!Chic.
But he needs to keep his crazy baby sex games to himself. For realz.

Terri is a crazy bitch but I missed her face.

OH no, Will is going to sleep with Terri and it’s just going to be crazy and bad. And hott. But-- the other things too.

THERE ARE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THIS SCENE:
* Rachel in beautiful coat, UNF-UNF.
* Kurt miming the words. MR. CELLOPHANE. And winking!!!
* Quinn leaning on Kurt. BFFs FOREVER Y’ALL.
* I love when Rachel sings Broadway. LIKE BURNING.
* AND I LOVE WHEN THE GLEE KIDS UNDERSTAND HOW AWESOME THEIR LEADER IS. RACHEL RULES ALL.

I now how have the ultimate desire to hear Rachel sing: But I Can’t Do It Alone. GUH.
Let’s imagine together.

OH NO. OH YES. HOW TO FEEL ABOUT WILL’S UNEMPLOYMENT??!?!?!

Aw, gay people talking about gay things.
Blaine, you are so wonderful in your blazer.
OMG. THAT’S MY FAVOURITE COVER TOO. Blaine, let’s befriend.

This is weird, but I find Jane Lynch’s voice and mannerisms really mesmerising. I want her to speak to me all the time.

I would not like to be punched in the face either.
I see your lifestyle choice.
PSYCHO!TERRI. LOVE IT.

I can see Kurt walking in on Blaine on a date. Like, seriously. It’s going to happen.
HEARTS WILL BE BROKEN.

He’s not actually going to kill you, Kurt.
Don’t even fret.

SAM AND BRITTANY NEED TO BE FRIENDS.
They can tell each other what they’ve learnt!
Oh and Rachel looks adorable. HAS TO BE MENTIONED.

MEN SEEKING MEN WITH BUTTCHINS. BWAH.

I want to practise my bipolar rant!!!
I’ll show you later.

WHY IS SHE SINGING EVERYTHING?!?!?!?! ARGH. RAGE.
STOP IT NOW.
She’s had her fun.
IN FACT, WHY IS WILL SINGING?!?!?! WHY ARE TEACHERS SINGING?!?!?!?!!?

I don’t hate them singing. They’re pretty good.
BUT IT MEANS MS. BERRY ISN’T SINGING. AND THIS IS NOT RIGHT.

I get that they have to use their guest stars but not when it detracts from everyone else. Plus, you know, she named her kid Apple RL, she’s obviously a loser.

HOWEVER, IT DID KEEP CUTTING TO BRITT-BRITT AND MIKE. AND THIS I WILL ALWAYS LOVE.

I will say this: Isn’t the Glee Club meant to be in financial ruin? And like-- Well, they have all these crazy lighting things and then water dripping from the ceiling. I’m starting to think Sue has a point. VALID ONE.

Anyways, I didn’t hate the episode by any stretch of the imagination. But I just hate cameo-based and Rachel-lacking and Will-centric ones on principal. So mushing those together?!?!?! Not cool.

I have Gwyn-shaped hives

2010-11-17T09:46:10Z

I don't know whether to be nervous or excited about Paltrow's stint on Glee.
I believe these things are inevitable:
1) Will will still be a douche.
2) They will give Gwynny too many songs and too much storyline.
3) Everyone else will get less lines.

RACHEL BERRY, YOU NEED A STORYLINE AGAIN. THIS IS MAKING ME VERY NERVOUS.
That's all I'll say.

But now I have to go into work, so I have to wait FOREVER to watch it. BOO YOU WHORE.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

2010-11-12T00:07:06Z

Summary of the writings:
2x06 GLEE COMMENTARY

I have dreams of Orca Whales and Owls; Harley Quinn, Batman

the prepositions taste better when they're not the most important; original poetry, WHUTTTT?!

Plus, like 8000 words for NaNiWriMo. So behind.
So not inspired right now.
Thinking of just giving up. Gr.

BIESTE. Beast.

2010-11-11T12:21:48Z

I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY ABOUT THIS EPISODE:Puck is back. Puck is back. Puck is back. HAPPY DAYS.

I’m not entirely sure when half the stuff that happened on Glee happened on Glee.
So I guess I am very glad for the catch-up. Huh.

I love how hypocrite!Quinn. And cold bath!Sam.
These are good things that lead to my fic-in-progress being gloriously in canon.
“I’ve never actually almost killed a civil servant before.”
Well, maybe you should, Sam. Maybe you should.
I am very much enjoying the bromance of Sam/Finn, but I seriously wanted some Sam/Kurt broship to occur. For realz. I just wanted someone who wasn’t a woman and wasn’t gay and didn’t have to get over some homo-issues to just like Kurt, accept him for who he is. For a show about tolerance, the people are really intolerant.

I always imagine Kurt to be really, really bruised. Like seriously. That locker is not his friend.

YES, LET US WELCOME HIM.
He is glorious.
Let’s have some character-development too. Yes? No? Too much?
I get it. I’ll be quiet.

Kurt, I know I’m meant to be feeling your inner turmoil right now. But your hair is so beautiful.

Oh, Puck, I love when you say things like Probie Officer.
Never change.
Except do, because I really want you and Quinn to live happily-ever-for-a-little-while.

You see what I mean?
Beautiful hair. Bruised body.
AMAZING BOW TIE.

Oh, Will, you’ve just seen that happen. And you didn’t say anything? Seriously.
I mean, I don’t really understand how you can be considered a good teacher.
Essentially you’ve just said: “Why aren’t you putting up with homophobia as well as you used to?” THIS IS NOT GOOD TEACHING.

PUCK STOP BEING A DICK.
PLEASE GROW.

OMG. I am such a perv.
But please, let’s have Quinn mack-a-lack in all the episodes ever. She’s so fracking good at it.
I WANT THIS SCENE IN LOTS OF COLOURS PLEASE.
LOTS OF COLOURS.
But not the fucking Beast parts. I’m alright without those in my life.
BRAIN BLEACH, please.
But can I just say from a Quinn-stan POV: I am really in love with this scene. With how she says ‘say my name’: THREE FOLD BABY- 1) I’m a perv. 2) I can’t hear someone say ‘Say My Name’ without thinking of that American Pie moment where ol’ Ally Hanigan totally adlibs “SAY MY NAME, BITCH!” 3) I love the idea that Quinn needs to feel wanted. That she needs to know she’s the most important thing. And that she needs to feel in control. She repeats herself: “I said Say My Name.” because she wants to know that he heard her. And I like to link this to Puck’s return and how he probably hasn’t loved her the way she wanted him to, so she’s making Sam. YES.

Plus, Quinn’s eyelashes make me melt.

Oh-Oh-Oh.
Quinn/Sue Maternal-Fuckedupedness. YES. IT’S BACK.
Y’all may remember this was one of my favourite parts of the first set of episodes. This weird need that Quinn has to have someone be proud of her. Even Sue. Because Sue made her head cheerio, because Sue sees herself in Quinn, because Sue is the best and Quinn likes knowing she was the best to someone else. SO YES. It’s back.
Again, in my head, this is because of the lacking in a mother Quinn has. Sue knew about the baby, spotted the differences, was a bitch-- BUT HAD AN OPINION.
Quinn’s mother came back when it was easy to.
SUE ROCKS. That is all.

“I’m gonna have to stare at some wounds.”
Sue, you rock. Say wounds again.

Young-Jedi-In-A-Wheelchair
LOVE IT.
I’ve been wanting Puck and Artie to sing together for a long time. Like properly.
I’m not entirely sure I love it in this capacity: this capacity of: PUCK HAS NOT CHANGED AT ALL, WHY WON’T HE CHANGE, WRITERS BE BETTER PLEASE.
But my gosh, I love me some Mark’s voice. And some KevyMac’s voice. And the two together. And guitar-ing.
AND Y’ALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT MASH-UPS.
But if you don’t: it’s good feelings.

But most of all, I really enjoyed Puck’s silent threats. WHILST SINGING.

Did anyone else really want Puck to say they were going to buy dip and nunchucks?! LET’S HAVE A THROWBACK, PEOPLE.
He buys a lot of fricking dip.

But now I do have images of him trading those clove cigarettes for protection.

HEY, BLAINE, YOU’RE GORGEOUS!
Your chin makes me happy.
Oh, slowmotion running. Favourite kind of running here, people. And in an oldy looking building, that is the stuff of cinematic LOVE.

ACAPELLA.
I LOVE IT.
I always wanted Rachel and Jesse to sing on their lonesome. Seriously.
Just so we can hear their perfect voices.

I’m glad that Kurt’s falling in love with him because I kind of am. Haha.
Kurt, you need to get with that. Boy is fiiiiiiiine.

LOOK AT THAT.

OW. OW.
ASIAN FUSION MAKE OUT SESSION.
DELISH.
I kind of want them to have a perfect little Chang-offspring.
But THEN-- I think, no. I really don’t.
But I do want him to swipe her v-card. BOOSH.

Quinn is the best arguer ever.
SHE WILL WIN AT LIFE BECAUSE SHE CAN.

Oh, Will. Fuck off. You’re not getting brownie points now. NOT NOW, NOT EVER.
Sam and Finn went all manorexic last time because of you. MAKE THINGS RIGHT.
And can I just say, I don’t know, I don’t agree with the fact that they all spoke about it and stuff, but if it was just Sam on his own doing it, it’s not really that bad. BAD FEMINIST IS BAD. But like-- I don’t know, I think he’s not exactly going to go up to Finn and be all “hey you, Postman could have died. SHOW SOME RESPECT.”

Aw, I nearly cried when Kurt started welling up because it must be so hard feeling so alone, and also Chris just has this ability to make me cry. Haha.
Also, he looks so fetching.
GET THAT BOY AN EMMY.
Seriously, Blaine is pretty fucking gorgeous too. And I love the idea of him as a mentor, a shiny, gloriously-chinned mentor.
HE REMINDS ME OF SIMON TAM FROM FIREFLY THAT’S WHAT IT IS.

I want to see them make out.
I WON’T LIE.

WHY ISN’T RACHEL TALKING?! WHY?!

SPIES!
I love you, Berry. WHERE YOU GO?!
GET BACK HERE.

I won’t lie. Ages ago, when they mentioned in a fleeting semi-joking comment that Brittany might have had a little crush on Artie, I was really happy. I loved the idea. Because back then, Artie was sort of naïve and she was most definitely naïve and they could just be lovely together. But my heart was to Artie/Tina and Joss brought some lens flare in and HOW CAN I ARGUE WITH THIS?! HOW?! So I was like “yeah, lush, I love it You go.” but I thought they might make really awesome besties.
And I hate that they’ve really fucked it all up.
Gr.
BUT I DO LIKE THAT ARTIE IS ACKNOWLEDGING THIS. Good things.

But I’ll tell you what I do like-- that even though Artie is a douche, it’s like… it’s like he’s being a douche in a very sixteen year old way. He doesn’t know how to talk to his girl, so he plays Xbox. Yeah, these are not Romeos yet. In fact, even Romeo was a bit of a fickle-dick. I SAID IT.

WILL, SERIOUSLY.
Don’t tell her.
I’d throw myself off a fucking bridge if you told me that.
JUST LIE AND SAY YOU DON’T KNOW. LIE. I’m really good at it, I’ll show you!

Of course she’s gonna take it personally!
OF COURSE SHE IS!
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, WILL!?!?
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?

Of course he’d let go of your eggo.
Erm, Puckaroo is like the shizznick. With his amateur dramatics.
“You should be our nation’s president.”-- SAN-SAN, I LOVE YOU.

Fucking Puckster, boy can’t dash. Ugh, you’re really pissing me off.
My version of you is so much better.

But here’s what I do love: HERE.
Artie is a nice guy under it all. Misguided, immature, BUT NICE.
And he has a voice that makes my insides melt, let’s LET HIM SING.

MY GOD, I ENJOY MY GIRLS IN LEATHER.
Had my blondes (need an icon so me and RAYCHEL can have our sexy biyotches together again), had Tina being a little sexpot, had Ms. Berry looking sexy, HAD QUINN IN A BANDANA.
OH, HAPPY DAYS.
I, uh, I watched this ~~and changed my pants~~ more times than I care to admit.
SANTANA IS SINGING! I HEAR HER!
Berry, grind against the guitar player. I WANT TO BE THAT GUITAR PLAYER.
I love Finn getting into it with such enthusiasm, YES. Miming drums is the only way to show appreciation, Finn-Finn.
Aw, they were just having so much fun.
PLUS LEATHER-- RAWR.
Btw there’s a bit--shit, I have to find this gif now: *hunts* where Britt does this little walk/dance thing, shit, where is it.
GOT IT.

THAT’S HOW I DANCE AROUND THE BAKERY. Holy!Kindred!Dancing!Spirits! If there’s no one there, and I have to get from one side to the other, that’s how I’ll move. Because I’m badass.
It’s also how I get around my house.
Plus, UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH. DYING. DYING.

Look: Artie is appropriately BLOWN AWAY.

Oh, Will, how lame are you?
“What made you guys choose those songs?”
“Uh, you kind of prompted us with classic rock.”

WANTS MORE LEATHER IN MY LIFE.

Oh, the drama of being Sue. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That’s a really wussy run, Kurt.
Come on, you’re a football player.
I think.
Is he?

Oh, and does anyone want like Blaine to just send him a dirty text for once?
I think that’d be a wicked surprise.

STOP BRUISING HIM!
No wait, “Oh, I’m gonna be your bruise.” GETTING IT. MAKES SENSE WITH WHAT JUST HAPPENED.
OOOH, GETTING BUFFY FLASHBACKS.
GETTING THEM
To that episode where people became creatures from the deep and the football player/maybe he was on swim team came out to Xander.
YES.

OOOOH, did anyone else see that coming?
It just seemed so obvious.
OF COURSE I HATE YOU, I SECRETLY LOVE YOU AND WANT TO BE YOU.
No, sometimes people are just dicks.
Hopefully the other stupid jock is just a cock who hates gays. THIS IS TRUER TO LIFE.
REASON 1 why I quite liked this kiss): it was pretty well-acted, with all the WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY? appropriateness. But then the ‘oh, I’m a sad football player’ sadness.
AND 2) I really like that Kurt pushed him away. Because I thought we might have a Maxxie-from-Skins-esque “oh fuck it” moment, but there was actually WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! And I’m assuming- we’re all assuming, unless narrator guy is going to let us know next time in ‘what you missed’- that this is Kurt’s first gay kiss. So no, I don’t think I’d have wanted it like that, in those circumstances. Though to be the fantasy of someone who doesn’t want to want you, GOOD TIMES. GOOD LUSTY TIMES.

“And Tina.”
WELL SHE DID KISS A GIRL, AND LIKE IT.

Aw, Quinn. Your eyes of shock are even huger than usual.

OH, MY PUCK!
This is the Puck I love. Wounded-little-boy!Puck. The Puck that was abandoned and unloved.
I like to compare Puck to River Phoenix in Stand By Me; he’s bad arse. And yeah, he did take that lunch money. But he gave it back.
So when he’s all “None of you care about me”, I really felt it.

This is why my Puck/Quinn work so well; because omg, two people unloved in entirely different ways who reacted in completely opposite ways who found the one person to love them back was the one person who would hate them to.

SEE, GLEE. LET ME WRITE FOR YOU.
Just their parts.
JUST THEIRS.

But then I wanted him to do a Sue and be like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH” and Figgins to say NOT THE CHILDREN.

BLAINE AND KURT-- STOP!INTERVENTION TIME.
Or Gaytervention time.
Uh, I’ll come up with a better name later.

Aw. I do like this guy’s acting. As scared chubby man-child. CUTE.

BUT BLAINE IS ON MY SCREEN. WITH HIS CHIN.

ERM, YOU WERE KISSED BY MY GIRL BRITT. I KNOW YOU THINK IT DIDN’T COUNT, BUT IT DID. YOU’RE LIKE KISSING A BABY. SHE TOLD YOU THAT. DID THAT MEAN NOTHING?!

Aw, BEAST. Don’t make me love you. I was really indifferent to you up until this episode.
But you’re so lovely.
I also like that they made her ‘not gay’-- just because it’d be easy to. STEREOTYPES, STEREOTYPES.
Never Been Kissed. Aw, you need to befriend lovely Emma.
Ugh. Will, you nauseate me.
When he said ‘inside’-- I could have sworn he was going to end it there. AND I WAS LIKE BWAH. RUDE.
Will, do you honestly think you’re so special that a random kiss from you would make her life?
I mean it might. But the writers have done a really shit job at feminism if it does.

Oh, Puck, we all saw through your outer-shell of bravado. WE SAW.
BUT BEST HANDSHAKE EVER.

Kind of weird to have a framed picture of him.
A picture’s fine.
FRAMED?? NOT COOL.

Aw, I like that things don’t change. But that when he does it, he knows why, and Kurt knows why. And the bloody nose will heal.
BUT NOW I FEEL THE URGE TO WRITE SLASH. Argh, IN MANY PAIRINGS.

“Like a chocolate turtle.”
“Totally, you’re nougaty.”
UNF. BROMANCE.

I also really want Puck to seduce her.
I am so sick.

OH LAST MASH-UP.
I LOVE IT.
The show does mash-ups so well.
It’s weird, I like to listen to the boys more, but the girls has leather-- so you know, they win.
AND SAM SINGING TO QUINN JUST MADE ME SO HAPPY. JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS GIGGLING. UNF. GIGGLING.

AND OMG RACHEL’S FACEPALM WAS MAYBE THE MOST ADORABLE MOMENT OF RACHEL’S EVER. Argh. The show are doing a good job of making me just accept Finchel. No, I will not actively ship them. ST. BERRY FOR LIFE. But I will adore their cuteness and height difference.

I’ll tell you what I’ve missed the most though: FINN’S BAD DANCING. AND IT WAS IN ABUNDANCE.

If New Directions win, FIX. J’ACCUSE.
Not with Blaine-AKA-my-Jesse-fix-while-he’s-not-about as their competition.
The thing is, I like how perfect he looks. Like Jesse. There’s something coiffed about him.
He’s like a nicer Jesse St. James. Now this does not mean I love him more, quite the contrary. I love Jesse St. James for being such a magnificent bastard.

I consider my case RESTED.

Make Me Lose Control; Brittany S. Pierce, fanmix

2010-11-08T20:22:51Z

Title: Make Me Lose Control)
Fandom: Glee
Medium Fanmix
Characters/Pairings: Brittany S. Pierce
Rating: G/PG
Warnings/Spoilers: None really.

better to be hated (than love-love-loved for what you're not); Puck/Quinn, fanmix

2010-10-30T00:32:38Z

Title: better to be hated (than loved for what you're not)
Fandom: Glee
Medium Fanmix
Characters/Pairings: Puck/Quinn
Rating: G/PG
Warnings/Spoilers: None really.

GIVE ME SOME CHOCOLATE OR I'LL CUT YOU; Glee 2x05

2010-10-28T23:12:48Z

So here we go-- OMG IT’S ACTUALLY HERE.

If anything was going to make me jizz my pants, it was Santana’s lips in the opening credits. WHAT?!!? You’ve given me this?!?!?! Show, you spoil me.
KEEP DOING IT.

I would just like to say for the record: I Know It Will Not Beat Rocky Horror.
It Couldn’t.
What is with people saying ‘it’s not as good as the original’-- I KNOW. Embrace it for what it is. AN HOMAGE. With my Quinn as Magenta.

SCIENCE FICTION/DOUBLE FEATURE
OMG. Naya, you need to sing more.
Here’s the thing with her voice. It’s not just about the notes, the powerhouse holds, the falsetto. No, all of this becomes nothing when you’re voice is just SEX IN SOUND.
Seriously.
What are we doing not having her sing all the things?!
It’s just lovely.
And it wasn’t all the same as what we’ve heard before *cough*AMBER*cough*; it was just loveliness.

Who else loves Rachel Berry’s comical overacting?

OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE
Because seriously what I love the mostest is that Rachel Berry has learnt how to act watching over people act. Same as Ol’ St. James. Watch Run Joey Run.
These are not people that do the Day-Lewis and go live as a fricking fisherman for a year. They are not angst-y and cerebral and internal, THEY ARE MOTHERFUCKIN’ MUSICAL DIVAS. And the show never forgets. The show never ever forgets that these are sixteen year olds ‘acting’ like what they’ve seen.
BRILLIANCE.
GENIUS.
AND OMG, I NEED TO STOP DYING OVER CORY/FINN AS BRAD. IT MAKES ME TOO HAPPY, I SWEAR.

Oh, and Cory trying to do walking that looks normal but is actually just really small steps? WONDERFUL. Because the boy has no co-ordination. And I dig it.

OMG. I LOVE HOW HAPPY EMMA IS.
Do you know what?
Here’s where I get real.
As some or most of you know, I do actually suffer with OCD. It has a lot to do with other issues in my brain-box, but the thing is this. I remember when I once forgot to check my plug sockets. And I came home and I hadn’t thought about it all day, I hadn’t spent the whole day wondering if I’d burnt my house down or something. And I WAS SO OMFGHAPPY.

So Will better not rain on her parade. Or I will cut him.
Yes, they’re fictional. Yes, I know this.

I miss Emma’s curls.
Back to shallow.

I WANT TO THROW TOAST.

Yes, Will, you couldn’t. You’re going to lose.
Because John Stamos/John Stamos is the shizznick. YOU WILL LOSE.
YOU WILL LOSE

However, I did enjoy Will’s bad acting. Like, “Oh, I love it soooo much.” THE BEST.

KURT AND BRITTANY BEING BEST FRIENDS.
IT’S HAPPENING.
IT’S HAPPENING!
“I’m going as a peanut allergy.”
And you will look fierce, my love.

“And I’ll be playing the guy in the wheelchair.”
“That’s what I was thinking…”
Way to go, Will. Really diversifying things.

LOOK AT THE LOVELY QUINN.
Also, this totally plays into the fic I’m writing about the ship that is called Quinn/Magenta. I love the idea of falling in love with a character ala me. And at first I was all, aw, shit Canon’s going to pee on my picnic and have her never have seen it. BUT NOW, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, IT’S ALL COMING TOGETHER.

My shift button is like on fire right now.

OMG. QUINN IS ALL SUPPORTIVE AND FLIRTY.
AND TUCKING A PEN INTO HER DIMPLE.
My pants, they need changing.

Aw, Sam. You so cocky.
Let’s have Puck come back and beat you into low self-esteem.
No, let’s not. Let’s just have him come back ALL JEALOUS.

OH, THEY REFERENCE INCEPTION.
POW!
GLEE IS COOL.

Random thought: I wear long shorts at the swimming pool and once when the lifeguard mentioned that I would have to take them off, I was all “Uh, I’m a burn victim. And self-conscious.” and he was all “Uh.. Uh… uh…You can go in.” and I was like YEAH. JOSIE LIES AGAIN.
Seriously-- fast thinking.

I just want to say:
I really like Rachel’s hair in this scene.
Oh, and I love how she’s all: You still think I’m hott? And I’m like Hell yeah, he does. Lea has a smokin’ body. Why are we even talking about it?
I mean, I know she’s short. But is that really a different body type in the way he‘s talking about. No. Not really.

I love how he has to bend right down to hug her.
JOSIE AND HER HEIGHT DIFFERENCE FETISH STRIKES AGAIN.

“Fear.” [grin]
Jane can do no wrong. I mean it.

WHAT THE WHHHHHHHHHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!?!
I LOVE ME SOME CAMEOS. Fo’ serious.

Oh. Barry Bostwick. I love you with the fire of a thousand suns.
This role reminds me of the mayor in Spin City.
With Michael J Fox?
Then Charlie Sheen?
No? No?
No.
Just me?

Aw, remember when Meatloaf was in the Spice Girls movie?
Those were good times.

Ow, Artie. Now you’ve swiped your v-card, youz a playah.
DERE YOU GO, BLOOTOOT.

I love how unimpressed Quinn is with Sam’s abs. Or the prospect of them.
I’m kind of hoping we see a little glint in her eyes when he takes his top off though.
THINGS TO HOPE FOR.

DAMMIT JANET
OMG. I love Finchel being geeky. It’s my favourite kind of Finchel.
Oh, I was so in love with it.
1) I like seeing them rehearse for things. Like in sort of half-costume, and stuff.
2) For some reason, I want to see Quinn as a zombie cheerleader now.
It’s a very real need in my bones.
3) Cory could not have been more adorable. And it was really nice to see him act in a song. Like, entirely acting. Acting like acting. You see.

“Perhaps not.”
I love Sue, and her underhanded disagreement.

Artie’s like-- weird conspiracy theories are beautiful.
I love that Sam’s doing it for Quinn, and that deep down, it’s actually really about low self-esteem. If you know what I mean.
And Finn’s lacking in confidence. Nice.
Right now, they are playing this storyline very way. Definitely light on the saccharine.

EMMA IN ADORABLE GREY BEING ADORABLE.

“I’ve got the Carl.”
Like, I’ve got the clap.
IT IS A DISEASE THAT YOU CANNOT SHAKE.
CARL IS WONDERFUL. LET HIM LOVE YOU.

BECKY IS THE NUMBER ONE SPY.

I love how Carl is not afraid of anything. And that he’s just so friendly, and wonderful. And nice. AND NICE.

I LOVE YOU SANTANA!
YOU SAY WHAT I’M THINKING.

HOT PATOOTIE
OMG, I LOVE IT.
Not because of fabulous vocals, or amazing choreography or anything.
BUT BECAUSE IT’S JOHN STAMOS BEING JOHN STAMOS AND HAVING FUN.
And then he spins le BrittBritt. And that just puts him in my good books.
AND THEN MY QUINN. He’s a spinning machine!
This is goodness.

“I’m freaky like that.”
*HEARTS IN MY EYES*

Oh, Mercedes. J’adore your ambition.
Be nice like this more often.

SWEET TRANSVESTITE
Oh, I won’t lie. I really did not want to like it. BUT MY GOSH, I DID.
And here’s why:
1) Nice seeing Mercedes with some SEX.
2) Quinn is my favourite Magenta. But my favourite combo of Magenta/Columbia has to be Britt/Santana- it has to be.
They’re just too sexy.
3) Quinn in this number makes my tummy fizz.

OH OH OH.
It was funky.
I don’t like it really, not in terms of what Rocky Horror meant. Because what’s so risqué about a girl in underwear. Not much.
Which makes the most subversive thing in this production the sexual tension between Magenta and Riff-Raff. TIME WARP, YEAH!
But then OMG-- It’s just… wicked.

Oh, Sammy-Woo, in your gold shorts.
You’re so cute.

“Your body’s fine, Sam.”
Yeaaaaaaaaaah, it is.

Erm-- Ew, Will. Creepy teacher just got creepier. I LOVE IT.
It’s TOXIC ALL OVER AGAIN.

But actually, more than that-- I love Jayma singing.
I’ve missed it.
TOUCH-A-TOUCH-A-TOUCH-A ME
(Psst. Are you as scared as I am?)
HEEEEEEE. I love that Will is turned on. IT MAKES ME HAPPY.
I LOVE THAT SHE IS THE ONE BEING CHASED. YES.
1) I laughed with some second hand embarrassment quite a lot. Laughed and cringed, baby. Laugh and cringe.
2) I love Emma being sexy. It’s so cute.
3) And Santana and Brittany just made the number for me.
It felt so gorgeous and High School Musical but naughty.
UGH. It was like Like A Virgin again.
HOW NERVOUS?! AND THEN OMG, THE LOVE!!!!!!!!

I actually-- cut to RHPS meta-talkings.
I loved how Emma was essentially doing her Janet. Because she is Janet. And I love the idea that she was one of those girls who would go and see it and just be blown away by it all. YES YES YES.
She would go and be changed.
YAY.
And I love that this was her way of saying: YES YES YES, THIS IS WHAT I LEARNED.

Back to Glee: Matty-Matt shirtless? Nice.

But still-- if that was going to be what he does with Rachel ~~I want to see it~~, inappropriate.

Aw, Sam giving talks on the sexy.
LUSH.

Rocky doing GRRRR. Genius.

I was loving the white briefs. YUMM.
I always want to hug Finn. Always.

Aw, and now he’s wearing a body warmer.
Which reminds me: do you think he got that look from Burt? The ol’ country Joe look.

Yeah, GLEE CLUB, KNOW WHO YOUR LEADER IS.

Becky, you’re bad spy. I’m sorry.
But an excellent thug.
GIVE ME SOME CHOCOLATE OR I WILL CUT YOU.

YAY WILL, Let’s see how long this goes on for.
Seriously.
Because your continuity blows.

TIME WARP
So I can’t really say anything that I haven’t said in those two previous posts.
EXCEPT OMG WHAT A SONG TO END ON.
And Brittany is the most fantastic Columbia.
And Quinn as Magenta still makes me joyous ~~in my pants~~.

And I have to add this about Magenta- lastly, I swear.
Santana’s Magenta is pretty wonderful; it’s all about the sex of it all, the liberalness of it, she’s all over Mercedes (who in this part, represents sexuality), she’s all over Brittany/Columbia, the lines of friendship are blurred and gorgeous. In a sense, she kind of is Magenta.
But she’s Magenta without a past.
Whereas I feel like Quinn’s character needed to be Magenta; and she represented the freedom, the baring all, the newness, the excitement. She was looking into something she had never known, and was loving it.
ESSENTIALLY: WELL DONE, SHOW.

And last of all, last of all:
THE MEDALS FOR BEST ACTING GO TO:
BRONZE- QUINN FABRAY AS MAGENTA.
Bb, you own my soul with your big wig.
SILVER- BRITTANY. S. PIERCE. AS COLUMBIA.
Because seriously, it was rawwwwwwking. I genuinely think she made her fantastic, and actually sounded really great.
AND GOLD- KURT HUMMEL AS RIFF-RAFF.
The tiny bit we sore was just an homage. SUCH BRILLIANCE.

HONORARY MENTION TO FINN HUDSON AS BRAD! OMG. THE GENIUS.

PIMPING for myself; it's a beautiful thing.

2010-10-23T01:40:24Z

LOOK, I'VE DONE IT.
GO, WRITE, DO.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THE IMAGE THE LINK SO JUST CLICK HEEEEEEEEEEEERE

pimping, because it's my thaaaaaaaang

2010-10-20T21:17:58Z

TEAM CHEERIOS.

2x04 Glee Review

2010-10-17T01:09:19Z

YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVED BEST ABOUT GLEE?!
ALL THE THINGS!

I am bracing myself for Sam/Quinn; because people are saying it’s good things, but I just don’t-- I don’t know.
I CANNOT ABANDON THEM.

But then Puck did try to steal an ATM.
WHUTTTT?!
Aw, I’m getting One Tree Hill-esque scenes where he was really doing it so he could support the baby from afar, and then Quinn goes to see him and holds her hand up against the glass up against his hand and the LOVE.
But then what I think will happen is that Mark will come back. And there’ll be a triangle.
And one thing I do love about the hiatus is the room I have to write fic without damn canon messing me up.

Also how much do I love it that Finn is all WE NEED HIS VOICE AND BAD BOY STAGE PRESENCE because this is what happens when you team up with Le Berry, making out means a transfer of powers and you will suddenly start thinking about what lighting does what for your skin tone.

I do have this weird love for how involved Quinn was in the convo.
LINES. LINES.

Sam, you’re a dork.
You need some game to get with the Fabray.

SECOND TIME THAT BRITTANY ANSWERS AND FINN BELIEVES HER.
BB, you need to start reading a dictionary.
Not you, Britt. You never. But Finn.
His hopes keep getting dashed.

OH NO, KURT. DO NOT GET YOUR HEART BROKEN.
YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH.

Santana’s love for breadsticks is amazing.
I HAVE TO WIN.

Aw, Sam and Kurt, I want you to work.
More to the point, I want Kurt to have a boy as a friend who is not trying to be a surrogate son to his papa.

I WANTS TO GET MY MACK ON.
Youz is ghetto fabulous, m’lady.
Aw, scissoring. Woah, Glee. Way to just work that in there.

Ow. I love it. Kurt is listening.
Because all my issues with last season are being resolved. Ryan has been reading my diary, like Britt’s cat.

DON’T GO BREAKING MY HEART
Another kink apparently of mine. FINN PLAYING DRUMS.
Boy is fiiiiiiiiiiiine.

Aw, look at Rachel learning things for herself. No forcies.
Finchel are being cute.
I love Rachel’s fringe.

Am I the only one that does not like what Tina and Artie have become?
It’s like the only way Ryan can write failing relationships is to make them horrible people, when in reality, some people just don’t work. Simple as.
BUT THEN CHICKEN FEET ARGUMENT. I DIG IT.

Artie is a robot, Britt.
A sexual robot.

ASIAN COUPLES THERAPY.
I want to go. I’m not even Asian, but I want to go.
AND I WANT CHICKEN FEET SALAD.

I am shipping Finn/Sam in a very strange way.
I think it’s beautiful football players. I think that’s what it is.
BUT-- I AM SAYING THIS.
If they don’t make Sam gay, they’re kind of wasting some brilliant foreshadowing here.

Aw, Sam gives words.
He’s a good boy.

AND for some reason, I have this strange Quinn kink where she washes slushie out of hair.
Puck, Rachel, now Sam. It’s all good.
I just want them to know and make it happen all the time.

AND SAM, I DID NOT ENJOY AVATAR. SO IF YOU THINK WATCHING IT SIX TIMES GETS YOU ON MY SIDE, YOU ARE INCORRECT, BRO.
INCORRECT!

I am enjoying some beautiful Quinn.
And yes, Sam, they are wonderful eyes.
BUT NOT IN FUCKING NA’VI.

OW, I love Kurt and Burt. And you guys know how I feel about rhyming names. So this is a big thing.
I like how they’re very open and honest with each other.
AND I LIKE HOW BURT IS TELLING HIM HOW HE IS AND KURT IS LISTENING AND IT’S WONDERFUL. And his hair looks fantastic.

Aw, now I’m craving vegan carrot soup.

RIVER DEEP, MOUNTAIN HIGH
Oh the voices. The diva voices.
Let’s let Santana do more awesome choreography.
AND WILL STOP ENJOYING THEIR BUTT-SHIMMY SO MUCH.
~~Save that love for Faberry.~~
Their voices were so loud and wonderful.

(Does it bug anyone that like-- everyone is in love with Amber’s voice? And no one like talks about Naya. AND HER FEIRCENESS.
But with Amber, it’s all ‘oh my God, religious experience’-- NOT COOL.)

I just have to say-- I think the Kurt and Sam flirting-- I’M GOING TO CALL IT FLIRTING-- is pretty awesome.

OMG. Finchel as dynamo plotters is amazing.
Offensive songs. OF COURSE.

ARTIE, CHANGE YOUR FUCKING JUMPER.

Rachel’s face falling is the serious shizznick.
Like- WHAT, NOT ME?!?!?!
But then she gets the loneliness of stardom. SHE GETS IT.

LE JAZZ HOT
Erm, anyone singing Julie Andrews is brave.
AND KURT IS BRAVE.
I love that Kurt has some kind of power over dancers, because he just seems to pull them out of nowhere.
Sammy-boy, youz is liking the Kurt.
But even if you’re not, I really like the idea that these two could be friends. Like platonic, homo-embracing friends. NICENESS.

Sam, youz is not clever.
And Quinn is HBIC.
And so discerning. She does the best discerning face. THE BEST.
And so embarrassed. Diana has these moments where I think, are you Quinn or Diana? And to me, that’s good acting. Because it’s always in really honest bits. Like when she watches Amber or Lea sing. Or when she’s laughing.

OMG. When he says “Do you know how to play?” And she says, No.
To me, it’s like-- OMG. It’s so much more than guitar. It’s-- Do you know how to flirt? Do you know how to do this relationship thing? Do you know how to be happy?
And she says NO.
Because she does not.

OMG. She’s freaking out. AH.
“Like I need you. I don’t need you.”
OH, look at that. Look at my lovely.
Look at her.
Cry with me, cry with her. Watch as she pushes everyone away.
And then he’s adorable. WHY AM I LIKING THEM!?!?!?!

“I’m mad at you. You’re still so hott.”
That doesn’t just go away, bb.

SING!
AW. SO CUTE.
This is potentially the only time I’ve ever really heard the gorgeous broadway tone to Jenna. They don’t really let her do stuff like that.
AND THE MOVES WERE SO ADORABLE.
AW. V. Cute.
Does anyone else think that Tina has this really nurturing quality in a relationship? Like she sort of pushes and pulls in all the best ways.

WHO WROTE THIS EPISODE? I NEED TO KILL THEM.
THEY’RE MAKING ME DOUBT MYSELF.

Oh, except Brittany loves Mike.
I know this.
BRITT YOUZ A STAN.

Aw, Finn, you’re awesome.
AND YES THOSE EYES WILL BEWITCH YOU.
I love that there is a shot of her making her eyes even more glorious than usual. MAKE-UP TIPS. HOW TO BE FIERCE.
THE BLONDES HAVE BEEN CONFUSED WITH THE COMPETITION.

Make her put sunglasses on. She looks amazing.

Is that Brittany’s room? SO CUTE.
Her mum designed that, yes?

I would tap that, Artie. Don’t you be hurtin’.

WITH YOU, I’M BORN AGAIN
OMG. IT IS OFFENSIVELY AMAZING.
IT’S RUN JOEY RUN LEVELS OF BADNESS. EXCEPT WITHOUT GROFF’S CRAZY ‘HE’S GOT A FUN’ EYES!

OMGGGGG I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
I keep watching it.
And is it strange that Finn in vicar's get-up is attractive?!?!?! NO, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

LUCKY
OMG. THEY’RE BLONDE AND WONDERFUL.
RIGHT, SAN-SAN, THEY ARE CHARMING. WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! Is it their beautiful Aryan ways?

I understand Artie’s hurt, but it’s just like-- I don’t know, she has killer abs, and that makes it really hard for me to think someone would regret having sex with her. Ever.

I love how Santana went all Jerry Springer on them.
THEY WON!
YES.
CHARM WILL BEAT ACTUAL VOCAL TALENT/ADORABILITY.

Ow. Rachel, you are so wonderful.
I love you.
I love your duet.
I LOVE YOU AND KURT.

Ow, they’re cute on their non-date. SO CUTE.
A SECRET LIKE BEING GAY?!
No? Oh. Right.
But OMG of course she makes him pay on the first date, because her last experience with a boy was so ungentlemanly that it’s not even funny. Of course she needs him to prove himself first. Of course he does just by not judging her. By being so the opposite of Puck (suave, manly, confident), by being geeky because she has to prove she’s more than the 16 and pregnant girl of last year.

It’s not that I prefer Sam/Quinn to Quinn/Puck, not even close.
I just like the idea of her with a good boy; because as hard as she tries to be the good girl, she’s really not. She’s a bully and manipulative and shy and awful and it’s all just a front, but it is who she is. And Puck fits that. She gets to hit Puck and hurt him and debase him. Make him be a worse person than herself because it’s all she has. But she can’t do that with Sam. She can’t make him awful because he’s not. SO THIS IS INTERESTING.

AND THEN THAT FINAL DUET:

I NEED THESE TWO TO BE FRIENDS BECAUSE THEIR DIVA-NESS IS LIKE A FUCKING MAGNET AND THEY SHOULD ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS BE STUCK TO EACH OTHER’S HIPS HARMONISING.

I am almost scared being this happy about a Glee episode.
Because it might lead to my heart being broken.

But if Quinn is Magenta, you don't have to worry.
Because that will be glorious.

I thought that I heard you laughing, I thought that I heard you sing; 2x03 review

2010-10-07T23:48:18Z

Okay, so I was kind of obnoxiously excited for this episode.
Because ZOMG I think Glee might get it right for once with balance.

But I'm keeping my hopes low, because I hate feeling like I'm wrong. haha. It's so rare.
But I will say this:

It just-- the thought of this kills me.
I've made my love for Burt very clear. Right back at the beginning with his awesome flannel shirts.
Now, look. He's only the best character ever.

I'm just putting this out there.
While my love for Finn/Rachel is pretty up and down, mostly down,
My love for Mr. Finn Hudson is ever-lasting. Because the thing is, Finn is sixteen ~~feet tall~~ and while it makes him very funny and cute and just-- Guh. So adorable. It also means that his relationship with Rachel is pretty douchestastic. And that's fine, really. Because like I said, of the teenage romances that occur daily, most of them are like this-- pretty co-dependent, needy, funny, cute, volatile, pathetic. But what I can't abide on his show is two things: 1) the idea that this behaviour is good/normal/okay/healthy and 2) that this an epic romance makes. I'd be totally okay if she had this kind of relationship with someone else. But don't give me badness and then tell me to love it.
Now rant over: I can get back to my original point, FINNNNNN. SO CUTE. YES. And Finn/Rachel, so height mismatched it makes me happy, but this is not the stuff of Shakespeare. So I've decided that while Ryan will fuck up them ~~and not make Groff come back~~, I'm going to accept them for the high school couple they are, instead of what they ain't.

Also: it makes me really really happy that he coined the phrase 'cheesus'. Boy's got a way with words. ~~and karate chop hands~~

Aw, and his prayers are so selfish. G'aw.
It so reminds me of when I was younger (I'm talking seven/eight) and I was really concerned with God. I thought he might be mad at me. So I used to apologise outloud when I said things wrong. Anyways, for like a month, I would 'pray', the way I'd seen in films ~~Hunchback Of Notre Dame~~ and yeah. I'd kneel down next to my bed, say: "please, keep my family safe/please, make the world better/please, feed hungry people" and then I'd slip in "and can you buy me some shoes?" because I think my version of a God was more of a genie. And I genuinely believed that someone was listening and they might not see through my evil plan and they'd just go "well, she did ask for those things first". O, young!Josie, I miss you.

But no one saw that prayer on the football field and thought Ms. Pillsbury should have a word?

Hey there, hamfisted foreshadowing of impending doom.
Nice to see you.
I guess no one told you about the promos, did they?
They pretty much spoiled any 'gasp' factor this might have.
I'm just-- I'm just saying.
Nice try.

KURT WATCHES GREY'S ANATOMY.
You know he crushes on Jackson. I KNOW IT.

How coiffed is he? Delish. Like a tasty Jesus.

OMG. GUYS, LIZARD BABY. I SAID THIS FUCKING MONTHS AGO.

Oh, and the phrase 'number one Heeb'-- totally my favourite phrase of today.

1) QUINN, I SEE YOU. DIGGING THE PUCKMEISTER. AND HIS NEW FOUND DEPTH.
2) Britt-Britt, are you smiling because you made out with Puck, or you made out with chicks?

Okay, so when I knew they were going to do this song, I nearly died because this has been on my Puck/Quinn playlist that I play for such events such as writing fic. WHUT?! MURPH, GET OUT OF MY BRAIN.

YES. SONGS. FOR. ME.
Twinkles, I love you.
ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG
HOLY FUCKING LYRICS.
It's for Quinn.
IT'S MADE FOR QUINN.
Puck had some crazy eyes going on in that. AND I DUG IT.
My heart stopped for a second right here: BECAUSE HE WAS IN HER FACE AND THEN SHE SHIMMIED AND YOU GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYS.
UNF.
BUT OMG SAM IF YOU COME IN HERE AND WRECK THIS, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!

Quinn in uniform will never stop making me happy. I'm just sayin'.

And I much prefer it to 'Sweet Caroline' for many reasons but really only because it was to QUINN. EE.

But it was all nice and fun and Guh. I love these kids. I really do.

And it felt very much like Mark's comfort zone when it comes to performing-- kind of fun, kind of sexy. ALL GOOD.
MARK, I WANT YOUR BABIES!
YOUR LIZARD BABIES!

I would also like to say that I really enjoy the Artie/Mike/Tina triangle background work.
I think when they write for them they do it wrong, but the background stuff isn't all that rehearsed and stuff and sometimes the camera just picks up what the actors are doing on their own. GENIUS. It makes them all very cute and angsty in a teenage way.

Burt, I love you.
Don't diiiiiiie.
I LOVE YOU. KURT LOVES YOU. MRS HUDSON LOVES YOU.

Side: Kurt has a perfect little puppet face. It is made out of plastic, I'm telling you.

OMG: TINY WILL/EMMA MOMENT. That was so perfect.
You see what I mean?
These writers, they just know how to do subtle? It's all the other shit they mess up.
But like that moment, it was about comfort, it was about needing each other. It wasn't HOLY!SHIT!I!AM!MAKING!A!SPEECH!TO!NEGATE!MY!EARLIER!DOUCHEBAGGERY!
It was tender, and sweet. GRRRRRR.

Mr. Fucking. Colfer. You are perfection.
And his wonderful doll face.

THEN FINN SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT A GENIE AND I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE.
OMG. How crazy is that?
I swear, I WROTE IT FIRST.

And I like Finn's Dashboard Confessional poster.

Aw, Britt-Britt. Thinking your book report can help.
BE MORE ADORABLE, OKAY?!
There were bees on it! That's almost as specific and wonderful as a teabag in the cereal!

Ow. Finn, why do you be a douche when I don't want you to be?
But again, sixteen year old boy. Selfish prick. Get it.
And it comes from love. From needing love. lmao.

MERCEDES/TINA/QUINN. HEAD BITCHES OF THE WORLD UNITE.
I LOOK TO YOU
What makes me sad is that I know Mercedes has a good voice, nay an amazing voice. I just hate that it does nothing for me.
Let's have Santana sing it!

So I'm listening and I'm about to say: "Oh, it's nice that she just reigned it in." and then she tries to burst my eardrum with crazy pipes. lmao. Sucks for you, Mercedes.

From a filming perspective, I really hate the er, block zooms Glee uses. I get it. They have faces. Do I really have to be inches from them?

Oh, and then Kurt has that really tragic way of being all: NO GOD FOR ME.
And I'm like "buzzkill" but then I remember Burt and I think okay. haha.
But I did really like the line about erm, not wanting a heavenly father just wanting his real one.

Oh, again, another side: I like the Quinn sat next to him.
Even if she did get all BITCH WHUTT?!
Especially that she got all BITCH WHUTT?!

I am confused about Rachel's sexuality. I'm just sayin'
First she's all, GIRLS WANT SEX and then she's macking with Puck and Finn and thinking about macking with Sunshine, I know this, and then being all NO SEX FOR ME.
And I'm not saying you can't not have sex and not have these opinions, I'm just saying that you also need some consistency/explanation.

But, y'all know I love Le Berry. I do, however, think she is being ever-so-slightly douchetastic.

But then Finn's a douche, she's a douche, everyone's a douche-douche.

AND THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE. OH THE DIFFERENCE. MY GOD, THAT WAS FANTASTICALZ.
Seriously, I think that was my favourite shot ever.

BERRY, DON'T PROSTITUTE YOUR BOOBS FOR FAITH.
It ain't right.
IT'S THE CHEESUS.
But actually when you think of it, it's really not about the boobs when he says it, so I guess she's just giving him a little treat.

Ow, did anyone else love that little look from San to Britt where she was all: N'awww. Look at her.

I KNOW THAT EMMA IS SO WONDERFUL NOW BECAUSE OF CARL.
(WHERE IS CARL?!?! STAMOS?! STAMOS?!)

OW. Sue. How do you rock the amazing things you rock?
She is so gorgeous and lovely but not in a 'look at my bubblegum centre' way, just in a 'this is how it fucking is, shit just got real'.
And just-- omg, she has three scenes in quick succession and she is fabulous in all of them.

THAT'S RIGHT. MILEY CANNOT WIN. MARTYR.

YEAH THOSE BOOBS ROCK. Ahem.

BROMANCE. IT'S ALIVE.
FIRST SLASHING TYRES TO DEFEND THEIR HONOUR. AND NOW SPIRITUAL TALKS. IT'S BRILLIANT. It's everything I could want.
And Puck is delish.
And it's really cool how they show Puck being pretty moral and Finn not, but it's not that he's immoral, he's just selfish. It's all really nicely balanced.

PAPA, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
How much do I adore her for never giving up the opportunity to sing Streisand? ALOT. Because that's me.
Awkward though. Just hear me on that one.
It'd be weird if your partner asked you to do that.
Sometimes I would forget that she'd staged it all, and then her little bedazzled stereo would come in shot.
WHY IS THIS NOT A SINGLE?! CURSE YOU, GLEE GODS!

It was pretty gorgeous and sweeping. SWEEPING, I TELLZ YA.
But it's Lea singing Yentl. It was going to be.

Actually, do you know what I love? When you watch Cory watch her, and I think he's just sort of awe-struck in her presence, which is pretty gorgeous. And fits Finn as well, I think. So it's lucky.

SAM JUST FUCK OFF!!!!!!!

I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND
I am really really excited for this song.
I just am.
I really liked the way it was in 'Across The Universe'; the different meaning it took on. And when I heard he was singing this song, but I didn't know when, I was like TO HIS NEW GAY BOYFRIEND?! YES! But it's not, and that's okay because this might be nicer.
Okay, so I'm crying.
SHUT UP.
SHUT UP.
I loved it. I really really loved it. Will never stop crying.
Loved flashbacks, despite how cheap they can be. But these were pretty amazing. AND WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD ACTOR AND IS HE RELATED TO CHRIS?!?! SERIOUSLY?!

LOOK AT HIM! WHO IS THAT?! lmao
And I loved seeing Rachel Berry sobbing because it was amazing, and Quinn doing the patented eyelash flutter. And EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.
At this point, my lights started to flicker. And I think it was like that moment in the green mile where John Coffee is all AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! and the emotions make the lights and shit flicker.
I mean, I'm not sure but I think my pain made the lights go weird.
But more importantly, I thought I was about to lose all my fucking GLEE REVIEW AND THE VIDEO WAS GOING TO DIE AND MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

But then it didn't.
Luckily.

BUT THEN IT DID. ARGH. RAGE.
AND I SPENT ALL LAST NIGHT THINKING FUCK IF I'VE LOST IT ALL IMMA CUT SOMEONE.

I didn't lost it all, by the way. lmao.

But then I watched that particular song again, and it became just so much more.
I think ol' Chris Colfer is pretty marvellous.
Like, he may not be the strongest vocally and all, but my gosh, does he rock those emotional, crying whilst singing scenes.
And like, GUH.
Oh, Kurt.
I've had to wait fucking 24 hours to see if your dad dies, if anyone shares your pain it's me!!

I also really loved how Rachel was gripping Finn's arm, for support. GUH.
You may not do physical contact like St. Berry, but it's pretty cool.

LOSING MY RELIGION
Okay, so erm-- here's where I confess to really quite like REM.
Eek.
Not in 'OMG I MUST BUY ALL THEIR ALBUMS' way, but I may own a greatest hits. lmao.
So erm-- OMG. CORY, STOP GETTING BETTER, IT FRIGHTENS ME.

Oh, and if you don't want people to ship you and Kurt, don't stare at him from library shelves.

BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER
How white is Kurt in that room? lmao.
Anyways-- I really hate what she did to the song.
It kind of makes me angry.
So I'm not talking about it anymore.

OMG. Sue asking her sister to pray for her.
Asking her because she wants faith and she wants guidance but she just can't get it.
Guh. Lynchy-woo. You rock.

And then Oh, when Kurt finally breaks down-- really, to his dad. To the one person who he has faith in. It's pretty amazing.
Because you see that Kurt has no one else really, not like this person who might be dying.

And who didn't know there wasn't going to be shot of him squeezing back?! JUST WHO?!

ONE OF US
TINA IS SINGING.
And looking fabulous, just let me say.
All red lips and curly hair. And abtastic bf behind her.
MERCEDES FUCK OFF AND STOP RUINING SONGS FOR ME.
Let Naya sing. She doesn't make me want to punch walls.
Is that Kurt/Tina or Kurt/Quinn? or someone else. Because I know hear a female voice in there, but it's not strong enough to be Mercedes. But it sounds pretty lovely enough to be one of those two. Hm. Get back to me on that.
EVERYONE'S IN WHITE. BEAUTIFUL.
And they look like GAP commercial.
And then Brittany's leaning on Finn all sexy-sexy.

omg. omg. omg.

TO SUMMARISE:
* Puck looked pretty hotty McHottHott in this episode.
And there was a shimmy from Quinn while he sang their song, and I may have came in my pants.
May have.
IT IS JUST BELOW I'M NOT A BABY for in-song-sexiness.
* Mercedes, you enrage me, to the utmost.
Especially for killing one of the most beautiful and classic songs ever.
I can't help it, it just has a lot of like ~EMOtional resonance with me.
* KURT, I LOVE YOU. AND YOUR DAD. AND I WANT HIM FOR MY OWN.
Chris just rocked this episode. Even in bits that were written a little 'ehh', he still kept it going. Very cool.
* TINA GOT A SONG.
* Aw, Finn in religious disarray is pretty fantasticalz.
As was the Finchel. I don't know if it was Yentl or what, but they were so cute.
* Quinn, you're pretty amazing.
* As is Sue.
* Music was very awesome and story-led. Not crazy thematic nonsense.
COME ON, VIRGINIA, DON'T LET ME WAIT.
* I need to write so many various fics right now.
One of them is St. Berry, and I don't know how they popped up, but they are never inappropriate! EVER.

I think the only problem with this episode was that it was always on that verge of drifting into Home-territory with saccharine-sweet badness. But then it never did.
And, for me, the only part where it got a little EMOSHOW was when the comedic storyline of Grilled Cheesus became the emotional one. But even then it was kind of salvaged with awesome REM-ness. OH YES. STIPE FANS UNITE.
HOWEVER, I REALLY LOVED IT.
And I actually think it's one of the best Glee episodes yet, not the favourite necessarily, but one of the more cohesive and flowing.

EEEEEE!! STREISAND AND GARLAND DUET NEXT WEEK!
UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNF.

AND WE WANTS TO GET OUR ANAESTHESIA ON.

2010-09-29T22:09:49Z

Now here’s the thing. I think this episode holds a record:

MOST TIMES I HAD TO CHANGE MY PANTS Narf.
raychelnina, don't even tell me you didn't have to once. I know you.

"Holy Majoly, Britt-Britt rocks my socks right off my feet. THROUGH MY FRICKING CONVERSE.">
First of all, Finn nodding at Britt's answer only confirms my suspicions that THOSE TWO SHOULD BE BEST FRIENDS EL PRONTO.
She could show him her favourite sewer haunts, and he could teach her how to be an awesomesauce dinosaur and they'd just have good times. Good platonic, blissfully ignorant times.
RYAN, GET ON THIS.

And: No, easy listening is not for my Glee Club.
WILL, DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO VOCAL ADRENALINE IS?!
They are awesome, cancer-curing, leather-wearing sexypants, who previously homed the most gloriously-coiffed man ever to grace the Glee-screen. YOU WILL NOT BEAT THEM WITH FRICKING ENYA. Come on.
Jesse should come back and beat you, just for mentioning it.
In fact if he could just come back? I'd be much obliged.

WHY THE SPEARS HATRED, SCHUE? Is it because she rocked the shaved head that you're not man enough to try?
Now, here's where my thoughts on O Britney come in.
The first single I ever purchased was Baby, One More Time. And then Oops, I Did It Again!
And then Alanis Morrissette. I'm not entirely sure what happened then.
BUT OMG. IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO MADONNA, YOU HAVE TO DO BRITNEY. JUST SHUT UP AND LET IT HAPPEN, WILL! My bb gets to siiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Plus, Kurt wants it.

Did anyone love awesome deadpan logic aka Britney Susan Pierce?
I love how expressive HeMo is, and how she reigns it in to play Brittany. Because it's kind of like she can't be bothered to talk; like the world is so slow and so dull in comparison to how amazing I know the inside of her brain is. So when she has to talk, it's only the essentials. Like facts about gay sharks.
Aw, defensive!Santana. Nice.

NEVER TALK ABOUT MICHAEL BOLTON.

PAMPHLETS ARE BACK!
AND THEY ARE MAGNIFICENT.

I love this flirty, antagonistic-y relationship Will and Emma have come to.
Like, they don't forget that they have feelings there, but their scenes aren't spent entirely mooning over each other. Or in angsty mode. I mean, I get it, Emma has massive eyes. But does this really mean they have to be watering all the time?
No! Show, you can do romance with angst! I always believed in you! AND IT WAS LOVELY.

IT WAS MADNESS, SHEER MADNESS
Emma, I missed you!
But I totally understand why you went away. I'd have ran off with Uncle Jesse too.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, Carl's entrance is like so cute. Omg. I would totally watch John Stamos/John Stamos, John Stamos! You're adorable! Stay forever. You're apparently very good with the lovely Emma.
Which, actually, was one of the things that annoyed me about Will this episode. Hey, if she wants to eat grapes mixed, that's her shizznick. And it irritates me that he obviously really doesn't get OCD and Emma because otherwise he would see what a big deal that is for her and congratulate her. YAY.
At the end of the day, Schuester, you were a douche.
She can't wait for you forever.
However, I choose to believe the only reason why he was annoyed was because he wasn't able to help her and because now she's with someone else and because he's one of the jealous people. And I think he went to apologise and say all this but then The Magnificent Carl turned up and you can't mess with that. Nope, you can't.

BUT ONTO IMPORTANT THINGS:
CARRRRRRL.
Is John Stamos. YES. I love it.
And I love how he's all non-baby-steppy around her, he is very much of the LET'S JUST DO IT camp; which I might say, as a member of the NO LET'S NOT team, it is actually a very useful technique for getting out of routines. I.E. Having someone there to push you out of them.
And then the way he kisses her, and it's so "I LOVE YOU SO I'M GOING TO GRAB YOUR FACE BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST NOT PULLING AWAY FROM ME NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY-- OPEN UP. THIS IS GOOD." and I think Mr. Stamos plays it wonderfully.

I really loved his 'DAMMIT'; it was totally something out of a comic book. DAMMIT, ANOTHER CAVITY. AND TIMMY'S IN THE WELL.

Also: UNF.
I would tap that.

Fuck off, football players. You suck.
Also, continuity fairy, you've been slacking. You know they used to slushie and put Artie in port-a-potties!
I have no doubt that they're douchey enough to punch Artie in the face.

OH. Emma. You look so pretty.
It's all that lovin'.
"Pretty easy on the eyes"-- Stamos, you really don't need to push the inappropriate lusting. IT'S HAPPENING. ALL THE TIME.
Now as much as I don't like the Chang alliance (only because it takes me away from my lovely Artie/Tina. AND I HAVE SHIPPED THAT FOR DAMN TOO LONG TO LET IT GO WITHOUT A FIGHT), I loved the way Tina was chewing like something out of a toothpaste ad and Mike was just staring; because I totally see them as the kind of couple where she just talks and talks and talks at him and he is listening but has nothing to add so then they just make out. SHIRTLESS.
AND then they did adorable toothy kissing. And I need stuff like that in my life.
WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL ME ON THIS, MURPHY?!

(Added: did anyone else love how Quinn and Puck were after each other in like quick (nah) succession and OMG THEIR BABY WILL HAVE THE WHITEST TEETH)

"There you go, bluetooth"
Santana, stop making me love you!
I have totally had one of those dye things, and they are such a bitch. Because at the end of the day everyone has plaque; and everyone else had like these big pink blobs but then like I just had this pink tint to my teeth, so I was obvs the cleanest but then I still felt dirty and ashamed.
"I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist."
YESSSSSSSS.

AND OMG! SHE WAS PROBED BY ME ALIENS!
HeMo, why are you so awesome at everything?

"Oh no, not Britney."
WHY WOULD YOU FIGHT THIS, BB?!?!?!?!?!
SLAVE 4 U
Not my favourite of the Britney catalogue, but my gosh if HeMo isn't the sexiest of all the sexy people.
ABS.
GIRL, WHY AREN'T THOSE OUT MORE?!
Sidenote: HOW GENIUS WAS STAMOS IN THE CHAIR?! WITH AWKWARD 'Oh, that's nice Brittany' faces! GUH.

UNNNNNNF. GLITTERY BODYSUIT. UNNNNNF.
This is the point where I have to tell you I was originally one of the extras in this video, but they had to cut me because I was too inappropriate and handsy.

I was actually meant to be that one she rolls around with, but then you know-- well, you don't. And I'd like to keep it that way.
OMG. As a little dancing-groupie, I LOVE THAT WE FINALLY GET SOMETHING SO EPIC AND AMAZING AND HEMO YOU ARE FABULOUS IN EVERYWAY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW SYTYCD EVER PASSED YOU UP!

(OMG. PINS AND NEEDLES IN MY FOOT SO BADLY.
I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE.)

John Stamos, you have the most awesome smile lines.
Ahem.
Continue with what you were doing.

Erm, here's where I divulge probably character-bashing info on myself.
The way she says 'are you a cat?' is exactly what I was like the last time I was entirely entirely inebriated.
I had lost the group of people I was with, and went to the toilet and there was this woman with green hair.
And I'm sat, crouched on the floor, my knees about my chin saying "is that your real hair?" and she's smiling oh so wonderfully at me and may as well be saying "no, you drunken pixie, you" and then Sophie finds me and I'm saying "Sophie, this woman is exactly who I would be if I had green hair."
Anyways. Yeah, Britt reminded me of her. Her, being that version of me.

Oh. Finn/Rachel.
I find your physicality so so darling. The height difference makes me crazy happy. And the way Lea buried her face in his shoulder and it was all "yeah, I baked you banana bread, omg, I'm embarrassed that you liked it, like me, can't we stay like this forever".
But then they talk and it makes me fucking rageful.
Cheerleader comment. That's okay.
But then weird co-dependency and royalty of passive aggressiva, not cool. STOP IT, YOU TWO.
If I can't have St. Berry, at least be fucking cute.

I love that the storyline of this episode is essentially: everyone goes to a place and have Britney-cameo hallucinations.
Like this is some weird, kooky Being John Malkovich thing.

ME AGAINST THE MUSIC
I'll tell you where the issue comes with having a Britney episode.
You can't really hear Heather Morris' voice.
But, what can you hear is damn sexy.
It's that whole 'I could be saying this while I chew on your earlobe' thing. And if anyone's going to do it, it's going to be Brittany. ~~Or Quinn, but this is because I'm a perv.~~
PUCK IS THE DJ.
Favourite part. Hands down.
But then, OMG. WHO DOES SEXUALLY AMBIGUOUS DANCING BETTER THAN HEMO?! No one, that's who.

MARK FROM SYTYCD, I SEE YOU THERE ON THE SOFA.
AND I LOVE THAT YOU'RE BEING GRINDED AGAINST.
I may also be a little jealous.

Oh, and Finn, being all "Holy!Shit!Girls!" is cute. He's so cute, that giant of ours.

Seriously, Naya. We don't need a Mercedes with you around.
In fact, I think the world would be better without her.
WHATTTTT?!
Yeah. And I'm not taking it back.

OH. Britney Spears. I love it when you cameo. You're my favourite seriously.

OMG. KURT. YOU BITCH. I LOVE IT.
Now here's the thing: Kurt shouting at Will does call for a time-out.
But Will yelling back, is kind of hellza bad for a teacher, yes?

Though I love everyone's 'Oh Snap!' faces and the fact that he's wearing a skirt like WOAH.

More than that though, is the sing-off at the dentist office. AHHHHHH!
So cute.
And then I kind of wanted Will and Carl to make out. AH! Jeez, I'm sorry.

WILL AND RACHEL, YOU FLIRTY LITTLE BIYOTCHES.
The only thing I like more than you is when Will is holding Quinn back from a catfight. BECAUSE OMG HE HELD HER FOR LONGER THAN HE NEEDED TO AND IT WAS GLORIOUS.

BABY ONE MORE TIME
I'm going to say this now; this was not my favourite of the Berry numbers.
Just because my particular kink with regards to Lea Michele all lies in the OMG SHE'S BLOWING THE SKIN FROM MY FACE WITH HER SINGING! And this just didn't do that for me.
However, I am not above noting how perfectly formed she is in that video.

AND HOW FUCKING SCARY THAT GIRL NEXT TO HER'S ABS ARE.
WHAT?
In fact, I wasn't really paying attention, and I thought it was a guy at first and rewound and saw it wasn't and was like holy!she-hulk!

How much would I love to wake up to John Stamos.

IS THIS REAL LIFE?!
RACH, YOU ARE AMAZING.

Oh, and omg, I love Finn putting his jacket around her because it's just so cute. I know, feminist in me is screaming "NEVER LET A MAN TELL YOU HOW TO BE" but the little girl says "aw, he wants her all to himself, he doesn't want people to personify her". Also, Cory does this whole face-fall-thing when he's thinking real hard and it's just so adorable.
And then I kind of like how everyone is like YES. RACHEL IS THE SHIZZ. Because I really love when people appreciate her particular brand of sexy. She's unconventional, methinks. But gorgeous all the same.

Also: APPROVAL FROM SANTANA. AW. And Brittany loves it.
"You have my blessing"? Ugh. Guys, it doesn't need to be this way.

Erm. How cringeworthy is this entire car scene? Seriously.
Topping it off is the smooth jams he puts on and then dances and sings to. Ugh. I can't help it, stuff like that makes me need to die.
Will, you can't buy me with Dickens references. It won't work. Because I know you secretly only watched the Muppets version.
WE'RE MARLEY AND MARLEY! WOAAAAAAAAH!

Did he say Enema?

But then crazy!Terri turns up and my gosh, she is the best when she is truly crazy.
"HOMEWRECKER!"/"WE ARE DIVORCED!"-- aw, your argument is comic genius. Matty-Matt, I really want you to be funnier. I want to laugh with you. Not at the one dance move you choose to pull out at every song. YOU KNOW THE ONE I MEAN.

I love Brittany's nod of approval.
Like, yes, you have seen the light.

I'm actually thinking of killing the actor who plays Jacob Ben Israel just so I never have to see him again.
OMG. I NEED ONE OF THOSE MEN IN BLACK TORCH FLASHLIGHTY THINGS.
I NEED THIS GONE.

Although I appreciate any time Sue is given the opportunity to say: HORROR.

*ugh, I need to vomit. Fucking Ben Israel and your Jewish cloud.*

STRONGER
is one of those songs where I really love the audio, and don't particularly like seeing it.
It just does nothing for me.
I mean, I appreciate footballers dancing, but erm-- I'm just not feeling a whole Rocky Montage.
Although if it had ended with Artie wheeling himself up a really steep ramp and then waving his arms, I might have been more inclined to love it.

Because I love me some KevyMac.

Also, did anyone find it kind of painful to watch them really struggle with that chair?
That's not the way to win games!

ASIAN FUSION! YES!

Beaste. I really love her.

QUINN, YOU MAY ONLY HAVE ONE LINE BUT IT IS PERFECT AND YOU LOOK SO PRETTY DOING IT!

Oh, Will, I died for you a little bit then.
Please don't do this.
Except do. Because my inappropriate senses are tingling.

Rach, that dress is adorable.
But you really need to leave off this whole thing. Either be with each other and be lovely or go find Jesse.
I really want a hug from Finn. He's so tall and lovely.

RACHEL BERRY, THIS ULTIMATUM DOES NOT LOOK GOOD ON YOU.

Did anyone think Will was kind of losing his marbles a bit by this point?
But saying that, I really love him being the crazier of the two for once.
TOXIC
Okay, so this is officially one of my favourite Glee numbers ever. I have listened to it non-stop since I got it.
BECKY'S THE SPY! I really like to think that Brittany stayed behind one day and taught her all her secrets.

BUT OMG IF I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL THAT FUCKING JEWFRO BEFORE, I WOULD NOW.
WHY RUIN THINGS?! WHY?!
OMG. It was a Fosse-esque sex mess! I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT MORE THAN YOU.

But I missed Puck/Quinn sexiness. WHY WON'T YOU LET IT BE, SHOW?!

Including this, because well-- it's significantly Quinn. And Quinn humping a hat is fantasticalz.

LEAVE HIM! LEAVE HIM TO DIE! I WANT JACOB TRAMPLED!

Sue only moving in right angles kills me
He's not a great teacher though, Emma. Like, just know this.

EE! RACHEL AND QUINN TOGETHER AT LAST!
AND OMG I FUCKING LOVE HBIC HEAD CHEERIO QUINN. SHE IS THE BEST KIND OF QUINN.
And then all nonchalant and pissy, omg. Diana, you are just the prettiest. The prettiest ever.

Does anyone else feel like Will is jealous? Yeah?!
TRIANGLE OF DIRTY TIMES WILL COMMENCE.
Aw, I kind of liked that Mercedes stood up for Rachel. Nice.
THE ONLY EXCEPTION
I, erm, I really like Paramore. But this is just not one of my favourites of theirs. It's a little EHHHHHHH. I don't know. Mellow. I'm not really a fan of mellow.
Even the slow songs/ballads/other such things I like have like an intensity to them. It's not just a lullaby or something.
BUT ANYWAYS. I love Lea Michele and she was pretty rocking in it. And I liked that they had a slow-mo walk because it felt very One Tree Hill/The OC/generic teen drama, and I'm a sucker for these kind of things.

AND THEN OMG PUCK IS LOOKING AT QUINN AND SHE’S LOOKING BACK AND SHE’S SINGING THAT AND IT SO MEANS “You are the only exception.” in every way.
You are the only person I’ve ever cared about more than I could use them for.
You are the only person I’ve ever let touch me like that.
You are the only person who I can be real with.
You are the only person I’ve loved.
You are the only person I’ve had a baby with.
IT’S JUST MAGICAL.
I mean, you guys. This is my ship and it is ALIVE.

BUT YES. I LOVED IT.
IT WAS AMAZING.

TO SUMMARISE:
* Much preference to this Will/Emma development than the Back 9. This is pretty lovely.
* John Stamos. Let's keep him.
* Brittany should get all the solos! AND MY GOD, I WANT THAT KE$HA ONE SO BADLY.
Imagine TAKE IT OFF OMG. THE UNF-ABILITY. YES.
* I actually loved Santana a significant amount in this episode. WHAT IS THE SECOND SEASON DOING TO ME?!
* Erm. HeMo is pretty much sex personified. OH HO!
* PUCK AND QUINN JUST ROCK THE BACKGROUND.
I'm almost reluctant to ask for a storyline because I don't think this show knows how to handle these kids; so maybe I'll just stick with my background squee.
* I want Jacob Ben Israel to die. Actually.
He ruined Toxic. He's a disgusting creature. I want him fucking gone.
* John Stamos. John Stamos. John Stamos.

People think I went on vacation but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.

2010-09-22T23:28:10Z

OMGGGGGGGGGGG! IT’S BACK! WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, MY LOVE!!

1) I hate that fricking Ben Israel is the first person on my screen. NO. NO.
I know it’s a cliché, but his face makes me nauseous. GO AWAY. NEVER RETURN.

OMG. Rachel such pretty hair.
And Finn, this summer of dating Rachel has made for some very good things. And controllist should be a word and I hate that it’s not.
I think Lea Michele’s comic timing has seriously improved over the season; just like the way she flipped her hair and clenched her jaw had me in stitches. HUZZAH. MAYBE I WILL LOVE RACHEL BERRY THE WAY I WANT TO THIS SEASON.

And Puck has a vasectomy.
So that you could have nasty, unprotected, sexy-sex with my Quinn? Is this why? Please let this be why.
CRIPPLING DEPRESSION!
YES. MURPHY, LOOK AT YOU, ACKNOWLEDGING FEELINGS. CONTINUE.

MY QUIIIIINNN!!! OMG. I’m in love. I AM IN LOVE WITH THE TRIO AGAIN. GOOD THINGS.
SHE WAS IN SEWERS. BWAH.
Worth the hiatus, just for the fact that it meant she had sewer times. I imagine her befriending rats and them raising her as their own, and wiping a tear from their small face when it’s time to say goodbye.

WHAT?!
TINA AND OTHER ASIAN.
WHO?!?! WHO CAN PASS UP ARTIE?!?!

WITH ALL OF THIS?!

Nuh-uh.

Shue-Shue’s rapping! BWAH.

Kurt is the shizznick.
That is all.

AND SERIOUSLY, when will these boys be expelled?

I love that Sue considers them friends.
And they’re on the same team! It’s beautiful.
I still genuinely believe that Jane Lynch should be in everything all the time.

MATT TRANSFERRED?!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NO!
It was the spider in his ear.

NEW YORK
* I just want to go on the record and say: I HATE THIS SONG ANYWAY.
Like, I haven’t heard the Glee song yet, but seriously-- this was fairly doomed anyway.
* It’s already a little better because of Kurt’s table head-bopping. THAT’S THE POWER OF THE HUMMEL.
* OMG. HeMo I missed you so much. I missed your insane background dancing that just beats everything ever.
* Mercedes, I did not miss you. Please leave. Your voice does nothing for me.
* I love that Rachel is wearing her tiny skirt still. It’s so her.

Overall the song, was mmkay. But why can’t they dance in a wheelchair accessible space?

OH CALLBACK TO PILOT.
Finn, you have taken the Schue torch of pervery. Treat it with respect. It comes with tight t-shirts and hair gel.

New gay kid who is potential love interest for Kurt we all know we heard the spoilers, YOU ARE NO FINN. STOP SINGING IN THE SHOWER. IT’S HIS SPACE. HE NEEDS IT.

And Asian girl who is even shorter than Rachel, I’m dubious about you. Don’t make me hate you.
Here’s the thing, there’s the whole “Oh, Rachel, you so racially stereotypical.” but the girl could not be more of a stereotype if she tried. HELLO KITTY BAG, HOLLA.

TELEPHONE
Now, y’all know my love of the GaGa.
But I did not enjoy that Asian girl singing her. I don’t know why. I just don’t see anything special in her voice. AND WE HAVE AN ASIAN WHO GETS NO STORYLINES. TINA COULD BE GAGA!

(Maybe my pervy mind coming through, but did anyone think it looked like Rachel was totally going to get her mack on with Miss. Sunshine Asian Pants?)

And the height difference was almost kind of distracting.

SHUT UP!

OMG. PIZZA PRANK. THE BEST.

Artie, if you can’t dance, how can you play football?
This is not the way to win back Tina.
THROUGH SONG IS THE WAY.
OR DANCE. But we have already established that this is not an option for you.
But Tina, why did we get to see a tiny bit of your beautiful voice in such a horrific context? MY BB, ARTIE NEEDS THE LOVE.

Oh but then apparently Artie is a douchy bf.
Oh, who knows?!?!
My Tina is shallow and high school. Fun times.

BALLS IN MY MOUTH.
Get. With. Kurt.
And he’s going to sing!!! LET IT BE. WITH THE BOYS. OMG.

BILLIONAIRE
I find his fish mouth distracting.
And I love this song, so I really hope it’s good.
And when I see Puck on the guitar, it makes my tummy fizz. So, you know--
MIKE CHANGE, STOP DANCING. I’M TRYING TO HATE YOU.
And Puck is singing. Mark, I’ve missed you. I love you so much.
You know, for someone whose never sang before in front of people, he’s pretty confident. LIES.

WHERE IS EMMA?!!

OMG. BECKY IS HER RIGHT HAND WOMAN.
QUINN WILL BE BACK. Look at her, did you see her? So HBIC it was RIDIC. Little smirk between them. Gah, I missed this evil duo so much.
OMFG. Finn’s audition was one of the best things I’ve ever seen.
I didn’t think I could love Cory more, but seeing him bust a move was the best.

Aw. Santana needs to love herself more.
AND Sue was weirdly right about the whole thing.

QUINN’S PONYTAIL IS BACK. YES. Appropriate icon.
NO ONE DOES A SLOW MO WALK LIKE QUINN.

CAT FIGHT!!
YES.

But most importantly, did anyone sense some sexual chemistry when Will held her back?
*hand up*
I DID.

Britt-Britt, you are such a sexual deviant.
Aw, but you hug your own doll. So cute.

LISTEN
NO! NO! NO!
I already hate her quite a lot.
That’s not fair.
~~But it’s totally true~~
No, I actually think it’s more that I don’t find her special. She is just very nondescript and singing songs that anyone can sing and just guh… I don’t like it. Not one bit.
And actually it is kind of true, from a storytelling perspective, that people won’t care about the ones we’ve got if we’ve already got new ones wrestling in on plot times.

PORN STAR LIPS, YOU’D BE LUCKY TO GET IN MY GLEE CLUB.

The robot from 30 rock. I love you very much.
Be evil. I will find you delicious.
Ugh. I am so glad she’s gone.
She is seriously-- there is just nothing unique about her. And that’s what bugs me.

Aw, Finn and Rachel! Being cute! And honest! And mature!
It’s a beautiful thing. All this communication.
~~St. Berry are more beautiful. MORE, I TELLZ YA!~~

WHAT I DID FOR LOVE
Ow. I’ve missed you, Lea Michele’s voice.
It’s so clear and perfect.
And she’s wearing white socks, so cute!
And there was a montage, and it really kind of set where everything was going this season, which is nice.

TO SUMMARISE:
* It’s BACK. IT’S REALLY BACK.
* FINN AND RACHEL WERE CUTE.
But I will always miss Groff. Always, always. I’m already going through withdrawal.
* I hate that I spent so long shipping Artie and Tina and now it’s not happening. I hope that he’ll fight for her, and win her back.
* Porn star lips would be cute for my Kurt. I approve.
* Mercedes already annoys me.
* New Asian can FUCK OFF.
* OH, and Quinn has a storyline that is not baby-related, but it is still not forgotten and her and Santana can have lines! And Britt-Britt can say “STOP THE VIOLENCE” because it was just so cute.
* WHERE IS EMMA?!

Musically, it just wasn’t my favourite. Through personal taste and stuff more than anything. I just didn’t enjoy a lot of the songs, not all, but a lot. And they could have been better. A little more epic. I’m just thinking back to like the back nine where there was Hello, Goodbye and Hello (with almighty St. Berry.) and just more OOMPH.

Saying all of that, I actually thought the writing was pretty solid. And for once, the pacing was alright, not too much but just enough for us to go “oh look, drama drama drama” without “OMG WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? AND THAT?! AND THAT!?!?!?!”

BUT IT’S BACK, BB! It’s back!

pimping, because she's my honey

2010-09-17T15:19:31Z

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