{"id":3546,"date":"2017-11-17T21:46:06","date_gmt":"2017-11-17T21:46:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/classicaldifference.com\/?p=3546"},"modified":"2022-01-22T04:49:49","modified_gmt":"2022-01-22T04:49:49","slug":"lunch-devils-triangle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/classicaldifference.com\/lunch-devils-triangle\/","title":{"rendered":"Students rarely know what’s best, but they know how to get it"},"content":{"rendered":"
Winter 2017<\/pre>\n
\n
Lunch in the Devil’s Triangle.<\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\n
\"\"<\/p>\n
Rather than aircraft or ships, students occasionally disappear this time of year into the educational equivalent of the Devil\u2019s Triangle.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n
Every year as a headmaster, some parent would invite me to lunch, \u201cI\u2019m not sure this school is the right fit for Caleb. It\u2019s a great school, but now that he\u2019s in eighth grade, I think we need to look at our options \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Once, a parent came to me and said, \u201cI don\u2019t get it. I\u2019ve put four kids through this school and the high school is the best part. Why would anyone leave now?\u201d<\/p>\n
How does this conflict occur? \u00a0Typically, it goes something like this: three points of a triangle form\u2014rigor, friends, and choice. It begins when a parent listens to the appeals of their teen to switch schools. Once this door is open, it\u2019s difficult to stay clear of the vortex.The rigor of classical Christian education is typically the secret motivator. Tens of thousands of students in ACCS schools grow through the rigor every year. I\u2019ve never had a single graduate come back and say, \u201cIt would have been better if it hadn\u2019t been so hard.\u201d Nearly all have told me they were well prepared for the rig- ors of college and life. But, here\u2019s the odd thing: of the dozens of meetings I\u2019ve had with parents in the Devil\u2019s Triangle, all the students were academically quite capable, though they may have convinced their parents otherwise.By about the seventh grade, students understand that \u201cI want to go to an easier school\u201d doesn\u2019t sell. This is where the second point of the triangle typically comes in.
\n[bctt tweet=”Three points of a triangle form\u2014rigor, friends, and choice.” username=”classicalchrist”]<\/p>\n
\u201cCaleb\u201d was a bright student who played sports for the public high school in town, but went to our classical Christian school. He told his parents he \u201cfit in\u201d better with the kids on his sports teams than those at his school. His parents didn\u2019t respond, so Caleb began talking about hypocrisy. His friends at school put on a good face, but they\u2019re really doing stuff behind their parents\u2019 backs. Or, he feels bullied. Or \u2026 Whatever the reason, Caleb slowly lays out a case that has some truth to it, but is really designed to persuade. His parents aren\u2019t fully convinced and he knows it. Enter the third point of the triangle.<\/p>\n
Caleb does his research. Of course, the local public or Christian school with hundreds of students has many options, including lots of AP and honors classes. He quickly finds that he\u2019s more interested in AP Spanish or AP Calculus, and his classical Christian school doesn\u2019t offer as many choices. He can even complete a whole year of college while he\u2019s in high school!<\/p>\n
He is able to position the \u201cchoices\u201d as stronger educational options\u2014options that are suited to who he is\u2014to fit him better. He is good at this. After all, his parents customize meals every day to suit his taste, so this \u201cit fits the real me\u201d argument carries weight. But not if his parents still believe that the quality of the two schools is different.<\/p>\n
The next step: Persuade the parents that, really, neither school choice is better academically\u2014they\u2019re just different. In a conversation with a dad whose son was pressing to leave, I sent our SAT scores along with many of the other schools his son was considering. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you guys publish this!\u201d the dad said. Of course, we do publish statistics like these at ClassicalDifference.com\/about\/, and your local school probably does, too. But, rarely do students bring this data to their parents.<\/p>\n
In the final push, Caleb realizes that he doesn\u2019t need to talk his parents into \u201cbuying the car,\u201d just \u201ctest driving it.\u201d \u201cCouldn\u2019t we just go take a look at that school?\u201d Soon, mom or dad agrees, and the sales ball is rolling. Caleb starts talking as though it\u2019s a done deal. Once the vortex has opened and all three points have been made, the sucking sound pulls in Caleb\u2019s family, and often other families at the same time.<\/p>\n
When one of my son\u2019s friends left his school, my son asked me, \u201cDo I have a choice in where I go to school?\u201d \u201cNo,\u201d I said. \u201cCount it a blessing.\u201d I do feel for parents\u2014most don\u2019t actually work at their school. My advice: Don\u2019t even let on to your students that they have a choice. Then, if you do want to consider other school options, you can do so without your teen pressuring you.<\/p>\n
Of course, not every school is right for every child. I\u2019ve called in a few parents to tell them this\u2014but it\u2019s rare. And, a few parents pull their children out of classical Christian schools for the RIGHT reasons. But, these reasons are rarely brought to them by their children. Social reasons and academic rigor, in the long run, are reasons to leave your students in a classical Christian school, not pull them out. The choice of classes or friends isn\u2019t all it\u2019s cracked up to be.<\/p>\n
Not too many pilots change course to avoid the mythical Devil\u2019s Triangle anymore. But students who leave classical Christian schools change the course of their lives in a significant way. It\u2019s a wise parent who makes these decisions with the bigger picture in mind. \"ACCS_graphic_sm1\"<\/p>\n
DAVID GOODWIN is the president of the Association of Classical Christian Schools.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Winter 2017 Lunch in the Devil’s Triangle. Rather than aircraft or ships, students occasionally disappear this time of year into the educational equivalent of the Devil\u2019s Triangle. Every year as a headmaster, some parent would invite me to lunch, \u201cI\u2019m not sure this school is the right fit for Caleb. It\u2019s a great school, but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3829,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[63,70,22,31],"tags":[256],"yoast_head":"\nStudents rarely know what's best, but they know how to get it - The Classical Difference<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/classicaldifference.com\/lunch-devils-triangle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Students rarely know what's best, but they know how to get it - The Classical Difference\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Winter 2017 Lunch in the Devil’s Triangle. 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