Framed - Part 1
Author: I wrote these here words, for you, so I am the Author!
Fandom: Politics RPS
Pairing: Clameron
Rating:NC-17
Warning: Character Death - bit of blood and also strong language
Word Count: 52,680 in total
Disclaimer: Not real, it is pure fiction that I made up in my head, no nastiness meant to the lives of anyone involved.
What lengths would someone go to, to get what they think is owed to them?
1
It weighed on his mind relentlessly; there was no relief, no place of solace for him to hide. Even when he thought he was safe little reminders were everywhere; testing his conscience, reminding him of his guilt. There was no escaping the crushing feeling that grasped at him through every waking moment and gripped his dreams during the stark hours of darkness.
He couldn’t go on like this.
It needed to stop; one way or another, things had to change. He just needed to find the courage to tell the man who loved him that he had given in to the temptation of another. He needed to make a decision. A decision that would hurt him and the man he loved, as he did still love him, of that he was adamant, but time had doused the flames of their lust leaving him yearning for the searing heat of newly kindled desire that they had once shared, before the over familiarity and routine had crept into their carnal relationship. He did love him, he just wanted more. He was weak and Michael deserved better.
He needed to stop being a coward.
Nick Clegg met Michael, a short time after he had joined the flanks of the Liberal Democrats, the gentle Scottish giant had fascinated Nick for almost a year before he’d had the courage to act upon his feelings, feelings that Michael apparently reciprocated much to Nick’s pleasant surprise, and the two men had been together, happily, for almost the past five years. Until the day that the 2010 general election was announced in front of the press on Downing Street by Gordon Brown, a moment which would call time on Gordon’s tenure as Prime Minister, and apparently on Nick and Michael’s relationship as they had known it. Michael proved to be the solid rock that he had always been throughout their relationship during the election campaign; balancing helping Nick while organising his own campaign just over the Scottish border. The travelling was gruelling, yet Michael was there; as always. His level headedness kept Nick grounded when he could have so easily been swept up in media storm that was “Cleggmania”, a term that Michael had found ridiculous, and caused him much amusement as he read through the newspapers. It wasn’t that Michael didn’t back his partner; he knew he was more than able; it was just as if he was reading about someone completely different, not the Nick he knew and loved.
It had been Michael who had been there to pick up the pieces in the early hours of the friday morning when the results were coming in and things hadn’t gone to plan for the Liberal Democrats. He had rushed down from his own results to be at Nick’s side, travelling down to London as Nick prepared to embark on the most pivotal few days of his political career. Although Michael hadn’t been a member of the Liberal Democrats negotiation team Nick had asked him to stay in London to be with him and he obliged without hesitation. How could he not be there to support Nick as he made the biggest decision of their party’s recent history?
Many had complimented Nick on his courageous decision to go into Government with the Conservatives; where was that courage now?
After the Coalition formed their lives became hectic, Nick’s schedule as Deputy Prime Minister was full to the brim of visits, speeches and press conference; his feet rarely touched the floor and when they did Nick found he was too tired to give anything his full attention; this included Michael. Nick was aware of his short comings and to stifle the guilt that was brewing inside him he offered Michael the position of Scottish Secretary as part of the reshuffle caused by David Laws’ sudden departure from the Cabinet, in a hope they may see each other a little more often. Sadly the plan fell short of its aim, as Michael’s schedule became more almost as full on as Nick’s. Nick’s time away from Michael turned into time spent with David Cameron.
Always when you least expect it.
Nick hadn’t anticipated David Cameron’s dedication to the cause of working together as a Coalition for the good of the country, and his determined yet easy going manner was an endearing feature that Nick admired; one that he had always appreciated in Michael. As they worked closely together and more frequently it became harder and harder for them to mask the mutual feelings of desire, and in a moment of lust driven weakness, Nick found himself locked at the lips with the Prime Minister as hands roamed and sought out warm skin that the cotton of their shirts masked.
Once wasn’t enough.
The need to feel the heat of David again became like an addiction to Nick, and although these trysts became more frequent, it wasn’t enough to quench his yearning; as soon as one moment of ecstasy was reached, they were planning for the next, and it couldn’t happen soon enough. Although he was riddled with the guilt of being unfaithful to Michael, he couldn’t help himself. He needed more, he felt weak and ashamed, but as soon as David laid his hands on him, these feelings paled into insignificance as the pleasure washed over him.
This is where he felt it most, when he was most uncomfortable, every Tuesday at the weekly Cabinet meetings. He sat opposite David; their eyes often locked onto each other’s as they mentally undressed and relived their shared moments of gratification. While Michael sat a short distance away, tired eyes blind and oblivious. Nick felt their weight though and there was no place to hide from his emotions as they ripped at his heart as it once again lost a battle against his groin. He mustered a bit of strength to look to his right down the table and meet Michael’s dark eyes and smiled gently, a gesture that Michael shyly returned. Nick could feel David looking at him and Nick looked back, David’s features were expressionless but Nick could see the knowing in his eyes, and Nick subtly nodded, and a decision was made.
He owed it to Michael, he deserved better.
2
The first prickles of perspiration tickled at Nick’s temples as a wave of awkwardness and guilt crashed over him. The constant feel of David’s eyes watching him intently as he moved around his office, trying his best to ignore them, unnerved him. “Nick... please.” The sound of David’s plea stopped Nick in his tracks; he turned to face his illicit lover and sighed deeply. It was a sigh that dripped with resignation. “You’ve not spoken to him have you?” David didn’t need Nick to answer him verbally, the look on his face said more than a thousand words; it was now David’s turn to heave a sigh from his broad chest.
“I’m sorry. I’ve tried... it just isn’t that easy, David.” Nick’s voice was barely more than a whisper as he tried his best to explain the reasons for his shortcomings. He hated himself for being so weak when he needed to find the courage to act in order to stop the guilt that was weighing him down. Most of all he hated himself for hurting Michael, his anchor that kept him centred in the tumultuous waters of politics with his stability and unfaltering love. As he looked over at David he could see the hurt that muted the usual shine of his blue eyes. “I’m... sorry. I was intending to tell him Tuesday evening, but he had to attend a function and was travelling back...” David held up his hands, halting Nick’s rambling oration.
“Nick, please. I’m tired of your excuses now. I know it can’t be easy; you’ve been together a long time. But the longer you leave it the more hurt you’re causing.”
“Do you not think I understand that?” Nick’s voice escaped his mouth as a loud bark that shocked them both. “He deserves better, I owe it to tell him to his face, not over the phone or in an email. Do you not think that’s right?”
“I think it’s convenient to your stalling, Nick.”
“He loves me.” Nick claimed through gritted teeth, his face warming as the blood coursed through his veins. He knew he had no reason to be so angry with David; after all, it wasn’t David’s fault that he was feeble.
“Nick!” David closed the distance between them and grasped at the material of the arms of Nick’s suit jacket. “I love you. Can’t you see? You’re hurting me just as much as you’ll hurt him. You said you’d tell him...” David let go off Nick’s arms and let his hands drop lifelessly to his side as he lowered his head slightly; Nick remained startled as David continued talking, the power of hearing David say those words for the first time was overwhelming. “I don’t think I can go on like this for much longer, please make a decision one way or the other, Nick.” David looked into Nick’s eyes, pleading with him.
“I’ve made my decision, David. I know I’ve taken my time to tell Mike, but it’s you I want to be with.” Nick’s rough palms cupped David’s jaw tenderly, assuring his hurting lover with his actions as well as his words. He tentatively leant forward and placed a delicate kiss on David’s warm lips, it wasn’t brimming in the usual passion they shared, somehow the emotions it stirred within each man ran deeper and as David kissed back, Nick could feel their grip on each other tighten; he didn’t want to let go.
“You have to leave him.” David whispered next to Nick’s ear. “You can’t keep this up, you’re hurting, I know you are.” He tightened his grip.
“I can’t tell him about us, can I?” Nick felt David shake his head against his, before planting a kiss to Nick’s neck.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Nick. We need to be careful; there is an awful lot at stake here, a lot of things that can go wrong, badly wrong, and not just for us.”
“You’re right.” Nick sighed as he let his arms slip from David’s back and stepped away. “Just give me another week, David. I’ll tell him this time.” David nodded his compliance to Nick’s request slowly and solemnly. Nick kissed David’s cheek, breathing in his scent, filling his lungs with all that David was, knowing that it would have to be enough to get him through to the next time. The next few days would be long and difficult, but Nick finally realised what was at stake and he knew what he needed to do. Nick’s feet felt heavy as he made his way towards the door of David’s office, although his heart held the hope of David’s love, he couldn’t shake the dread of ending his lie, only to start living a new one by David’s side.
3
The sun was well on its daily journey as it started to fall from its lofty position and dipped tentatively below the horizon. David signed off his last piece of paperwork with a flourish of his wrist and a small, but triumphant smile. A faint knock at his office door brought him back to reality and caused his brow to furrow in puzzlement. He pushed himself to his feet and let them take his weary frame to his office door and gradually revealed a slightly flustered looking Nick as he opened the door.
“Nick! I thought you’d have left for the day.” David said as a heart warming smile spread across his lips.
“Oh... well, I’m off now actually, I just thought I’d drop in and tell you that Mike’s home today and I trying my best to pull it together to ensure that I find the courage to tell him I’m leaving him.” Nick dipped it his head, averting his sad eyes from David’s. David quickly looked up and down the corridor that ran past his office and placed a hand of support on Nick’s arm.
“I know it can’t be easy, Nick. But you’ll do the right thing. I know you will, I believe in you.” David heard the steady repetition of encroaching footfall and dropped his arm and lowered his voice. “It’s for the best.” The two men straightened up to their full height, regaining their air of professionalism, as the slim figure of George Osborne appeared in the corner of their eyes. “Well, thank you, Nick. Let me know how you get on.” Nick nodded in reply, understanding.
“Of course. Thanks for your time, David.... most appreciated.” Nick turned on his heel and made his way down the corridor, leaving David and George at David’s doorway, their eyes locked firmly on his shrinking form as he put more and more distance between himself and them. George cleared his throat and as intended, commanded David’s attention.
“Strictly business, David?” David’s eyes narrowed as he gestured for George to enter his office. “Or pleasure?” George’s lips curled into a derisive smirk as he watched David’s face harden to his words. “You’re wasting your time, you know that don’t you? I mean, he’ll never break things off with Michael, muscular liberalism my arse!” George snorted vilely at his own joke, causing David to turn his back on his friend as his blood boiled under his skin. “The sooner you open your eyes to his weakness the better!”
David breathed in deeply, trying his best to calm the storm that was brewing within him; he knew George far too well to bite back to his snide comments, knowing full well that was exactly what his friend was hoping for. “Well, if you must know, he was here to tell me that, actually, he is going to tell Michael he’s leaving him tonight.” David snarled through gritted teeth with purpose, as he took a step towards George, who looked slightly unnerved at David’s intensity. Once again, George cleared his throat, checking his voice wouldn’t betray him.
“What makes you think this time will be any different to the last time he fed you that line?” George puffed his chest out; trying not to cower under David’s formidable presence.
“Because I told him if I didn’t I wouldn’t be around anymore.” David nearly hesitated as he considered each word as it formed in his throat, but couldn’t afford to lose face and his words entered the atmosphere with intent.
“Well... at least one of you has some courage and conviction.” George placed his hands in his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet. “Look, David. Do you think this is sensible? You’ve had your fun, your roll around in the hay. Don’t you think it is time you put all your energy into running the country, being the Prime Minister, and not getting your end away with your wet liberal Deputy?”
“It isn’t like that; you should know that by now. I love him.” David snarled and as George snorted again in disdain, he couldn’t quell his exasperation. “I can’t see why you just can’t accept the Liberal Democrats within this government, George? I mean, I thought you would love a good fig leaf to hide behind.”
“I just don’t want this to ruin everything we’ve worked for. If this gets out... I mean, what if Michael talks? This could be the start of the end.”
“Michael won’t talk; Nick’s not going to tell him.” David said quietly, head lowered, as he looked for George’s reaction with upturned, forlorn eyes.
George shook his head in disbelief.
“Oh great, a lie to cover dishonesty!” George rubbed at his temples. “I won’t let this bring us down; I’ve worked too hard and too long for you and any Liberal Democrat to ruin it for me, for us as a party. If anything happens I won’t let it lay, David.”
David stood motionless in the centre of his office as George made his way to the exit. He paused momentarily.
“Just think for a minute David, with your head and not your dick.”
Fuming and in disbelief at the apparent stupidity of his friend, George powered his way down the corridor, his mind racing of the possible outcomes from the Prime Minister’s reckless behaviour. He reached into his jacket pocket and retrieved his phone, pausing from his march to type in a quick message:
You won’t believe this now. Meet me tomorrow as soon as you can.
4
The gaggle of press, punctuated with a number of police officers, that always seemed to be assembled on the pavement outside of his home, had become such a familiar sight to Nick over the past year that it no longer fazed him. He allowed the press to silently take his picture as he strolled from his ministerial car into the house, sharing a nod of gratitude to the police officers that ensured his safety. He’d hoped that he had been able to get home before Michael in order to settle his nerves and go through in his mind what he needed to say, again; but as soon he stepped over the threshold Nick was aware of his partner’s presence. With a chipper tone in his voice that didn’t match the look on his face, Nick called out a cheerful greeting that was replied with an equally cheerful sounding voice; Nick closed his eyes to the twang of guilt that pulled in his chest at the noise that sounded from the kitchen.
With apprehension in his stride, Nick made his way to the kitchen to face the man he had shared so many fond memories with; the man whose heart he needed to break. As soon as he appeared in the doorway Michael’s tall frame came into view, a small smile curled at the corner of Nick’s lips as Michael seemed to dwarf his surroundings. Michael smiled as he noticed Nick leaning against the doorframe, and with a few steps he was in front of him and he swooped down slightly to kiss Nick’s cheek tenderly. “Welcome home.” He whispered as he pulled away.
“I should say the same to you, good trip?” Nick watched as Michael moved away from him, back to the other counter where he continued with preparing their dinner. He shrugged his shoulders.
“Some good bits, a lot of bad to go with them though. I think they’re going to want their independence...” He looked over his shoulder as he spoke; looking for Nick’s reaction, but his face remained expressionless as he was lost in his own thoughts. “...why ask, if you’re not really bothered?” Nick caught the last few words of Michael’s reply and they brought him back to reality with a startled bump.
“I’m sorry, I was just thinking about the consequences of Scotland breaking away...” Michael frowned, but accepted Nick’s answer and gestured for the other man to sit at the table.
“Dinner isn’t far off, please sit and talk with me, I’ve missed you.” Nick tried his hardest to keep his composure as he lowered himself onto the offered chair, but Michael’s ever present kindness was stripping off the layers of courage he’d been building up. “Are you okay? You look tired.” Nick looked up at Michael and nodded; an empty smile pulled at his mouth but didn’t reach his eyes.
“I’m fine. I know you’re probably tired, but after dinner, I’d like to talk to you, unless...” Nick couldn’t finish the sentence, unsure of how to conclude his request without placing any uncertainty in Michael’s mind. Michael placed two plates on the table and sat down opposite Nick. His dark eyes fixed firmly on Nick’s faltering gaze, patiently waiting for Nick to continue.
“...Unless? Unless I wouldn’t want to talk to you? Why wouldn’t I?” Nick sensed a small amount of hurt in Michael’s attempt to sound jovial, which caused his stomach to twist into a tight knot. “I’m tired but I’m happy to talk with you.” Nick pushed his food around his plate with this fork as he listened to Michael, still unable to meet his eyes properly. “Nick, are you sure you’re okay?” Desperately wanting to avoid answering Michael directly with words, Nick managed to find the willpower to put a forkful of food into his mouth and nod timidly.
The rest of the meal went the same way, Michael cheerfully chatting idly away, while Nick filled with increasingly unsettling nerves. Nerves that added to his guilt as he occasionally glanced at Michael’s honest, happy face and nerves that cast doubt within him about what he was about to do. Nick got to his feet and cleared away the dinner plates. “I’ll sort this out, why don’t you go and relax; I’ll be with you in a moment.” Michael smiled up at him and nodded before also getting to his feet and making his way towards the living room.
Once alone, Nick placed the plates in the sink and braced himself against the counter; his eyes firmly closed. Images appeared like fireworks in his mind and his legs felt week under the strain of trying to process their meaning. He could see David happily smiling while Michael appeared before him, a broken man, and vice versa. He hated having to choose, but he knew it was the only way; the only fair way. He’d gone as far as going behind Michael’s back, seeking intimacy with David, he owed Michael the truth and with one last determined word with himself he knew there was no going back.
Michael was sat on the sofa when Nick appeared in the living room, his long legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles, one of his elbows propped up on the arm of the sofa as his fingertips supported his head as his mindlessly stared at the television screen. Nick sat uneasily, perched on the edge of the sofa, his throat arid and his palms perspiring. He felt the warmth of Michael’s sizeable palm through the cotton of his shirt that covered his back. Nick looked across at Michael, who smiled lopsidedly back at him with a curious expression on his face and his eyes searching for something within Nick. Nick coughed, testing he had a voice to say what he had gone through a thousand times in his head already that day; nothing could prepare him for the anguish as the words that were born on the back of his tongue died before they passed his lips.
“I thought you wanted to talk to me about something.” Nick shrugged half heartedly.
“It’s too late for work now, it can wait.” Michael smiled as Nick’s response and with his hand pulled an inwardly shell shocked Nick closer to him and kissed his temple. Nick’s head swam, he now owed it to David as well as Michael; they both deserved better
5
The television provided little distraction to the fever of need that David harboured as he restlessly traipsed over the floorboards of his flat. The need to know whether Nick had told Michael was all consuming; it was all that occupied his thoughts. His finger tips burned with an incessant itch to pick up his phone and send Nick a message or even to risk calling him; but as hard it was to resist, David knew he had to. He knew that if Nick had spoken to Michael or not he’d still need some space and some time to think. As desperate as David was for Nick to be to completely his, he knew that Nick loved Michael, not with the same passion and fervour as he once did but there was still love there for David to see, and he needed to respect the difficult decision that Nick faced.
David collapsed into his armchair with a heavy sigh; he looked with gloomy eyes at the phone he’d left on the coffee table, just out of his reach; urging it to ring. Despite Nick’s deep feelings for Michael, David knew that Nick wanted to be with him; and as he sat alone in the dim blue of his surroundings, it was all he had to keep him company; the hope that Nick had found the courage to put an end to his betrayal of Michael. He deemed his desire to have Nick to himself was selfish but he reasoned that it was necessary, believing the less running around and lying that Nick would have to do without Michael would make it an easier task to keep their relationship under wraps. The media fallout if they were discovered would be catastrophic to their leadership and government; David was resigned to the truth in George’s words; they had worked too hard and had climbed too high to take such a fall.
David snatched the phone of the coffee table and looked at it; he closed his tired eyes and with a low sigh, for his own sanity, he switched it off. He dragged his weary body towards the bedroom where he undressed and went through his bedtime regime on autopilot; his mind preoccupied on both important business and matters of the heart. He slipped between the crisp cotton sheets and relished the coolness against the warmth of his skin. He lay on his back, rested his forearm across his forehead and with his other arm reached out to the empty space next to him. The sheets were soft and cool against his hand as he clasped at the material, a pull of anguish in his chest as he wondered whether Nick was sleeping alone or in the warmth of his partner’s arms.
***
Nick listened to Michael’s steady breathing in the darkness, safe in his sleep as Nick lay awake and troubled with the knowledge that he had let David down; regretting that he had told David his plans, he had a few days of the initial week remaining of which he said to David he needed. Why did he add the extra pressure on top of the weight of the deed upon himself? He rolled on to his side, cradled his head on his hands and felt the frustration clasp at him as noticed the unsociable hour. He felt the bed move as Michael shifted his weight and slung and arm over Nick’s waist, he kissed the smooth skin of his shoulder. “What’s wrong?” He whispered softly. “You’ve been tossing and turning all night.”
Nick placed a hand over Michael’s and squeezed it, holding it firmly against his chest. “I’m fine, just not that tired I guess, sorry.” Michael kissed Nick’s shoulder again, leaving his mouth where he had kissed for a short time, lost in thought.
“I’m worried about you; you need to take better care of yourself.” Nick laughed hollowly, nervous and bemused. “I’m serious, Nick.” Nick felt Michael roll back over, sensing the irritation in Michael’s voice he remained quiet, not wanting an argument at this time. He remained motionless in the darkness, waiting for Michael’s breathing to fall into its relaxed rhythm once again. Nick listened for a while and when he was happy that Michael had drifted back off to sleep, he reached for his Blackberry on the bedside table and typed out a hurried message to David.
The opportunity didn’t arise. But I will do it before the week is out. Love you.
Nick waited and waited for a reply, and after what seemed like forever he longed for sleep to find him as he cowered in the fear that he’d upset David so much that he had ignored his message. He closed his eyes, hopefully finding sleep and bringing an end to another day of betrayal and torment.