watching the moon rise, lean out with bright eyes

2019 Year in Review ★ What is timeliness? Oh well

chrysa — Tue, 07 Jan 2020 04:00:42 GMT

I literally wrote out my goals in November, and then end of December came and past and I was like, why not hold out for a few more days? It be like that sometimes.

2018 year in review

What I set as goals:

+ I did travel more, and went to Barcelona with Chiha. It was a wonderful trip, and it was an amazing difference to experience a city on a real-adult budget vs. a student budget.

I bought a very expensive Celine bag that I will not shut up about and is my Pride and Joy, but also I think it helped shift some other mindsets about me buying stuff. Of course I was pretty anti-capitalism in high school and that veered into a giant make-up collection still, but it's a good mindset to love what you have...

I also went to way more anime cons this year than I have like, ever in a single year.

+ I did not do as much yoga and healthy stuff as I wanted after my fall 2018 exercise line up but! To a new year. And yes, my back is still killing me.

+ LOL I did actually write fic and publish, and am writing more! Also expanding creative outlets. I forgot how much I loved drawing...

Other major life events:

+ Turning 30 is not necessarily an accomplishment, but it is generally a thing that happens and it's good to remark upon it. I honestly don't feel that much different than being in my 20s (yet) but honestly I've been kind of Done™ with being in my 20's for a while. My face is still so babie... which is good!

+ Graduated from my master's program. I do feel like I learned a lot in the program, but I'm not entirely sure it's things I am using in my job... but it did help me a lot to think about my work in the end. I should've asked for my scholarship grants >.< Gotta pay off that student loan debt again...

+ Found out I was allergic to mango in the most unfortunate way possible.

+ I finished out my reslife job and moved into my own apartment. This isn't really a marker of adulthood anymore, because living by yourself is so ridiculously expensive, but it makes me so happy to decorate like I want and stick to my own schedule when it comes to cleaning. It's definitely a piece of luxury I'm enjoying, even if the space is quite small... I'm really enjoying it so far. Such happiness to live by myself!!

+ TAing for intro to epidemiology / biostats class. I really enjoy teaching... it's a lot of time to grade, I find it really rewarding. It's a little bit of extra cash and not something I really count on, but it's oddly nice still.

+ Maybe not really a "major" life event, but I spent a lot of time translating Chinese into English as part of fannish activities this year, and it's really nice to engage with a fandom where I can work on my Chinese and get to listen to my other native language instead of having to speak/listen to English all the time. Finally getting some use out of my advanced accelerated Chinese course from college *ugly laugh* Still below literacy level in Chinese though...

2020 looking forward / goals

I made such fake-ass goals the last few years that were basically like "gotta get through this" and then I did! So here are some real goals and things I'm looking forward to in 2020.

Goals-ish (maybe)

Take SAS exam by October 31 of next year

Run 5k by May 31th of next year - the ultimate goal is 10k by December 31 of the year

Python/Tableau training... Try to really learn Python well!!

Attempt to open an arts shop by November 30th of next year

Health stuff: go on accutane, get an allergy panel, get this weird cyst wound I've had for over a year taken care of (it's so painful ;_;)

Bad shopping habits: No buy on clothing and makeup/skincare/body stuff unless if I'm 100% out of something or I have to replace a piece of clothing. I've already stocked up *a ton* on the face cream I'm going to use while on accutane so NO EXCUSES.

Ultimately, depending on my job and the market, I'm looking into possibly buying a place around spring of 2021 maybe in 2022 if I need a little more time to save. So I should be mindful of finances.

Things I'm looking forward to

Louis Tomlinson concert -- twice!!

Being done with Invisalign (I started end of 2017)... I only have 2ish months left now!

Holiday with... rykea maybe? *EYES EMOJI*

No cute pic this year since I just want to get this done at this point hahaha

2019 Holiday Cards

chrysa — Wed, 13 Nov 2019 23:35:09 GMT

Collecting holiday card info on Google Forms!

Please fill out the form there instead of here as you might usually if you'd like a holiday card from me! Giving away free MXTX fandom stickers this year as well~

2018 Year in Review ★ This year I got....gayer

chrysa — Mon, 31 Dec 2018 22:05:37 GMT

As usual, I do these last minute but here it is. And here is your typical meme, except I made this.jpeg and I would like to confirm it is the worst meme of 2018, thanks.

2018 year in review

+ I moved to Boston in January and started my MPH in Biostatistics and Epidemiology. I only have one semester of my program left (phew! ready to make money and go back to work again!) but I think I've generally been happier and more relaxed. Quitting that job was a good choice, and while I don't have a job lined up yet, I feel much better about where I am going.

+ The latter half of the year, I've been working as a TA for the quantitative core class which I've really enjoyed. It's honestly made me think about going to get a PhD just so I could teach. I wouldn't be interested in working in academia though, so it would just be to teach. But I'm already tired of school so... probably a while yet. And I have to take a ton more math classes first if that were to be the case.

+ I also got a job as a graduate resident assistant, which is helping me keep the cost of living down. I mostly manage the other RAs so it's been very interesting... I've enjoyed learning how to manage people. It's had its challenges too, but those are all growing experiences.

+ In general my health has been okay. I sprained my wrist at the end of August which is making doing yoga difficult, even 4 months later, but it's a lot better than it was then. I've been obediently on my medication so my mood has been fairly stable despite many family challenges.

+ LOL My mom almost lost her house like a fucking idiot this year. What's done is done, and in the end we saved the house (though ended up paying $10k more than we needed to to close everything). It was a very stressful 3 months or so this year when this happened. I resent her very much, but she continues to be a presence in my life

+ I didn't get to travel much as I was in school full time, but I went to Nashville for my sister's bachlorette and then traveled to Vegas and through many national parks in the midwest to Yellowstone. I mostly travel outside of the country so it was interesting to explore the US for a bit. The US truly is beautiful.

+ Still working on the invisalign... but my jaw pain has at least been long cured and my teeth look straight in the front!

+ I still didn't run a 5k, but I've ran a lot this year and did yoga. Being "fit" is as much a state of mind. There's no need to punish one's body... but to keep active and healthy :3c

+ Honestly, every time I listen to the news everything is on fire so honestly it sucks how much

2019 hopes and dreams

+ travel more! I plan on going to Barcelona with Chiha, but since I won't be chained by school, I would love to go more places. huhuhu

+ More yoga, more running. Staying healthy. Also because my back is killing me.

+ Since I am turning 30 next year, I guess I must work hard on my collection of WIPs to never publish, once again. :| I started even more this year....

Before 30 you should have at least 20k of partially finished WIPs that you still intend on finishing but instead start a new working doc for a fic you're also never going to finish
— sɴᴏᴡ ʙᴜɴʏ 🐰🐇❄️ (@kyuu) December 18, 2018

Happy new year, my dears. May 2019 be better than 2018.

2017 Year in Review ★ "Personally very successful" ★ "Politically disastrous"

chrysa — Sun, 31 Dec 2017 05:46:17 GMT

I've finally managed to start this at a reasonable time this year — thought I started thinking about it just before Christmas and the fact that it took me til now to get started on it.

The theme of this year is "personally very successful, politically disastrous" which I'm taking from someone, I can't find the source whatever... I'm not going to comment on the politics because it's despairing but I'm going to keep it focused on what happened in my life.

Since we have a formula now for these:

2017 don't fucking disappoint me in review and other stuff not on that list

+ So. I got into grad school. I didn't register for any classes this year, but it's better than randomly just taking any classes. I actually got in for Fall, but I decided to delay to get myself together more.

I'll be getting my MPH in biostatistics and epidemiology from Boston University starting in January, in a 3-semester program. Which is really exciting! Going back to school has always been my goal, and whether or not that becomes a stepping stone to med school (again) is somewhat peripheral at this point. But I'm in a better place about my career path than I have been for a while. Not everyone has that privilege - having a stable job they decide to leave so they can pursue something better.

Part of the reason it's possible is because of the program duration and that they'd given me a minor scholarship that will make the program about 20% less expensive, but even then. Given that I just paid off my student loans at the end of 2015, it made me hesitant — but not enough to stay in this hellscape job.

+ What really pushed me was that my former boss at my job - who has been one of my greatest mentors in my life yet - decided to leave his role as a global director in a global company and work full time as the executive director (CEO) of his non-profit on diversity and education. I'm really happy for him! Even though he's taught me a lot, I feel like him leaving has made me learn a lot too. I've never not been able to fend for myself but it's given me a better opportunity to learn how to navigate petty office politics, especially in a place where it's as entrenched as it is. Part of the reason I'd taken this job was so I could work at a larger company to gain this kind of experience, so I think that the time I've spent here has been put to good use.

Though I'm still so glad I'll never have to work for N*** G******* again.

+ In terms of mental health, that seems to be one of the biggest bullet points from my 2016 YIR — not only the getting an evaluation part, but the "apathetic" part really speaks to me now. Hindsight is 20/20.

I finished what I started at the end of last year, which was to get an ADHD evaluation and lo and behold, I have ADHD. It's a comfort to have confirmation, if nothing else. Ironically, I'm not sure if it'll help me get the accommodations I need since the school is requiring an unreasonable number of hoops (in particular a financial barrier) to get them. It's almost like... I should just get medication instead...

+ Speaking of which, as part of my ADHD evaluation, the provider reminded me again that I lapsed into depression. After crying a bunch and throwing a fit, I went to my GP and asked for the same antidepressant I was on and ... for the most part, I feel a lot better. I still lapse into unprovoked anxiety at times and I had at least one panic attack two weeks ago regarding deadlines for certain things, but I feel better. For real. It's definitely like — you don't even know how much until it's better. I'm glad that the dosage I need is low and I'm relatively easy to "fix".

I do remember how strongly I opposed being medicated at one point. Ideally maybe I won't be on them forever, but I needed a crutch for a long time and I didn't have it, and I'm not opposed to having one now when I'm sure I'd be a horrible mess without it.

+ Also! I got braces — Invisalign. I've been having a lot of jaw problems so it felt like it was time. By the time I graduate school again, I'll be a whole new person... Yikes the medical fees I accrued this year...

+ I went to Cancun with chiharu for her birthday. I didn't travel much this year, so I'm glad the one trip I made was well worth it. Maybe financially better considering I'm going to school. But relaxing and worth it.

2018 is a roll of the dice

+ I keep saying I'm going to run a 5k and then I don't. Here's to doing it next year. Also more yoga because I'm getting older now and I seriously keep fucking up my neck and shoulders and this is going to give me actual health problems if I don't take care of it. I probably need to get a massage at least once a month or every two months at least.

+ Date. I know I also keep saying this but -- for reals now. Part of the reason I gave up on it was because I'd gotten into school and it seemed pointless to date when I was going to move. Some people would call it practice (which I do desperately need in fairness). I call it putting off something I don't want to do but have to.

+ Make friends! I've made one very good new friend this year and a couple of friends who I don't know as well yet, but part of the reason I hoped to go back to school was to also meet other like-minded others.

+ Write! I have so many WIPs... lol. Will I ever write anything other than rants again? Who knows.

+ I feel like I should put something aspirational and out there. It was such a fulfilling year personally that I don't even know what else to put here. I bought a new camera lens... maybe put it to use more.

+ Do more volunteer work! Why not? I've been wanting to and just haven't found the time/right opportunity.

Finally, I still plan to do Christmas cards in the future, but I gave up the idea of doing it pre-emptively this year. Maybe I have red cards somewhere and can use them for CNY.

To summarize, me this year:

Fuck 2016 ★ How quickly can I write a year in review? ★ Fucking watch me

chrysa — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 00:48:00 GMT

So like my flop holiday cards post this year (I ... didn't do them. I'm sorry), I waited until the last minute to do this YIR. Oh well. Goodbye and good riddance.

Also, since I started the year off with a "senpai will notice me" joke...

2016 ~~highlights~~ how I did on my hopes and aspirations. resolutions I guess.

+ Okay at this point I think we can established 2016 was just awful and sucked for many people and for many reasons. But uh, yeah. A friend of my committed suicide. We weren't that close but in the end... I'll leave it at that. I don't want to forget. It's a shitty feeling.

+ On to resolutions: Yes, I paid off all my student loans. I literally did it on the 29th, but it's a good wrap up the end anyway.

+ Went to London to see rykea, and that was lovely. Then Brexit. Then a bunch of people died and more terrorist attacks. Yeah... We didn't go to the Euro 2016, but we went to Vienna and Coppenhagen. Vienna, a city of my dreams, did not meet my expectations. Coppenhagen turned out to be my favourite city. Utterly bewitching.

+ I didn't go on the fanfic roadtrip, but I went with chiharu to ye olde Williamsburg. We literally didn't do anything but walk around and watch Yuri on Ice. But that was enjoyable and relaxing. We were originally going to go to Cancun but we had to ditch that because my professor literally scheduled an exam the Monday after Thanksgiving.

+ ... speaking of which, yes, I took biochemistry. It was awful. At the end I started having panic attacks right before the final, but I somehow managed to get a B in the class. All's well that ends well I suppose. Back onward, towards grad or med school.

+ And... yeah. I didn't do the other stuff. So I guess I'm going to look into doing that next year.

2017 don't fucking disappoint me

+ Well, I guess I'll keep taking classes... next up... gen chem lmfao. (yes, after I've taken biochem okay.) I'm thinking about maybe applying for an MPH program. So I'm hoping either to have taken the MCAT again and finally gotten an acceptable score by this time next year, or to applied to an MPH program. Or a full PhD program.

+ Really gonna take up running that 5k this year. @__@ I need to be in better physical health.

+ ...and mental health. I actually took steps to start therapy and get a diagnosis? For my ADHD (or, IDK, the counselor suggested bipolar. I don't think so.) But yeah. No more panic attacks or depression. And doing something about the ADHD. Please.

+ Okay, but I really want to have kids??? So I guess I need to actually date people. Cringes. I went on a total of like 7 dates this year.

+ I don't even know. My mom and I barely speak anymore. We seriously made an attempt, okay. She won't fill out the forms.

+ Finish the one fanfic I started in 2016. Fight me. If I write nothing else, I want to finish that fic. It's not even that important? Except it is... let them have babies...

+ And I guess I should make some attempt to have another personal goal. I'm really apathetic and sad. I guess I'll come back and revisit this feeling next year.

+ Oh I know. Build a photography portfolio of some sort. I want to work on this this year.

Happy 2016 ★ Looking Back ★ Looking Forward

chrysa — Sat, 02 Jan 2016 01:52:40 GMT

It's been forever since I've wrote here, and while I don't feel the need to share daily bits anymore nor am I in the habit of making resolutions I can't keep, my sister pointed out it's good to keep track of your life instead of, you know, watching it slip through your fingers like grains of sand and wondering what has happened.

And I'm clearly not getting rid of LJ so it's a pretty functional time capsule at the very least. Anyway.

2015 Highlights

+ Turned 26. I had my annual "I'm so old" crisis that I've had since I've turned 17 and was whining about it while my sister was reminiscing about it being the end of the year, and I was like "Well I'm the one who just got older." But she pointed out that for most people, the end of the year also feels like turning older too... I guess I've just never felt it because I've always had my birthday when I did. Maybe it's good not to notice this twice a year.

+ I moved out of my dad's house and in with my roommate again. I really like where I'm living and having my own space again, and I think the fact that I'm not constantly with my dad is doing a lot of good for our relationship. When I had my birthday last year, I literally thought "Oh God, if I'm still living here when I turn 26 I'm just going to ~~kill myself~~ give up." So good thing I did.

+ Started a new job. This was going to be one of my goals for 2016, to switch jobs, but the company I worked for went under so I had to break out that hustle ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I can't say it's my dream job, but it's steady, I like the people I work with for the most part, and it's rewarding in its own way. I can't say I'd be happy doing it for the rest of my life, but a bit of stability right now is fine with me.

+ Took the MCAT again. Flopped again. Sigh. I'm still hoping to go to med school but I guess my heart isn't in it. Also living with my dad seriously doesn't help. And I need to take biochemistry.

+ I didn't really travel. I went to Chicago for a work trip, which was nice but mostly work. Actually looking back, I had a lot of life changes, but I think in light of not getting to do what I want in theory to do (be a doctor), I would've loved to spend more time doing the thing I alternatively wanted to do, which is travel. Sigh.

+ I finally got my acne under control! Considering I've been suffering from acne cysts and bleeding from my face since I was 12, this is a hugely important part of my life. I'd been so self-conscious about my skin to the point where it was negatively affecting me emotionally so much. I don't think my skin is great by any means, but I have so much less anxiety and despair over it at the very least.

I had a lot of interesting milestones, but it feels personally less significant to me since I seem to be going further from the direction I want career wise. :/

2016 Hopes and Aspirations

+ This is a bit gauche, but since I already mentioned it here, so might as well. At the beginning of 2014, I had $18,000 in student loan debt. Now I'm down to under $6,000 and I should be done by the end of this year. This is a direct result of living with my dad and hating everything for 2 years so I mean. Rent or student loans.

+ This is pretty much set in stone and I'll take unpaid holiday if I have to: I'm going to the European Championship in France in early June. So I'll get to hang out with rykea in London, go tour the French city we get tickets for for a few days, and hang out in Europe some more. The nice thing about working for a multi-national company is that I can probably even ask to work in the London office with some of those colleagues for a few days if I get super bored. Just wanna travel :')

+ Go on the fanfic SF→LA roadtrip with grisclair and chiharu and maybe some other friends! This one is super up in the air, but I'm salivating at the prospect still.

+ Have a serious relationship of some sort. I keep making this resolution every year, but I can't keep putting it off. My sister and I are in the same boat, but at least she's putting herself out there, even if she has a new boyfriend every 4-6 months. Me? Sigh.

+ Get power of attorney for my mother, and get her a social worker. I can't take care of her, and this is ridiculous. I either need to cut her out of my life or figure out some way to get hers under control. And since option one is not available to me as a Chinese child, I guess it's gonna have to be option two.

+ Run a 5k. Probably won't happen but I'll put this on here anyway to see if it does.

+ Take a biochemistry class in the fall next year. I'm too new at my job right now to be able to deal with the time demands, but yeah. Study and study biochemistry. Let's aim for December MCAT next year and see how it goes.

Here's to 2016, I guess.

How the heck does LinkedIn work...?

chrysa — Sat, 07 Sep 2013 20:09:22 GMT

Okay, f!list, do any of you understand how LinkedIn works?

I'm so tired of cold-applying to jobs and not even hearing a call so time to change strategies.

Other than one piece of helpful advice alumni career counselling has given (how to talk to/connect with alum in a network) and reading a few articles online I got... nothing. I'm just going to be active and make connections and hope that drums up hits.

DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND HOW LINKEDIN WORKS? IF Y PLEASE COMMENT I NEED HALPS ;;

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/358146.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

ignorance is unkind (or the culture of Asian-American racism in society)

chrysa — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 01:01:34 GMT

So today, when I was interviewing a participant for my job, during a break while I was loading up another part of the program, he asked me if I lived in Hong Kong.

He said: Because I looked Chinese.

By which I'm pretty sure means I look Asian and China is like, really the only country he knows from Asia.

This really isn't a good year for me in terms of racism, is it?

The thing is -- the thing is: I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it maliciously but more or less out of ignorance.

People wonder why I get upset about these things, and I admit, I've been a little more brittle about it lately than usual, in part because of my terrible Seattle experience and in part because of this election cycle's bullshit.

The fact that you don't know better doesn't make it okay, it just makes it slightly more forgivable. But forgivable is not the same thing as excusable.

Because it really comes down to one thing: that's what racism is. It's that I don't look like you and my family doesn't look like yours. It doesn't matter if I sound like you, dress like you, watch the same TV shows you do, but that I'm being asked -- and rather matter-of-factly -- means that it's still prevalent in society that I'm not One Of You. Because I look different. And it's not like it would be okay to ask someone who is black if they're "from Africa" (because Africa is one country, of course) or someone who is Hispanic if they're "from Mexico" (because let's face it, how many Americans know many Central or South American countries?). The fact that people think it's okay to ask me without even considering if it's offensive basically drives home the point.

By the way, I'm "from" Pittsburgh. And I turned in my voter registration to the state of Virginia yesterday. Oh, and I currently have an apartment in Baltimore and not Hong Kong because believe it or not, it's easier to get to work in Baltimore if you're not on another continent.

And it's not that I have any problems discussing where I'm from or what my ethnicity or background is. Yesterday, I did an interview with a guy who was really friendly -- he asked me where I was from, and I said, believe it or not, Pittsburgh. And then we laughed and talked about the Ravens-Steelers rivalry and he also asked me about school and my job.

Asian people are not ~pets~ you can just pat on the head and ask about where they're from and how different they country they're ~from~ is. And it's fine if you think the culture of a particular Asian country is cool or something, but it's not exotic or whatever. It's just the way people live their lives.

I don't know what's going on lately, if I'm just noticing it more or it's bothering me more, but I feel like I've never been condescended as much as I have this year. Like, what is even going on right now.

By the way, I've never been to Hong Kong. I'd like to, though.

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/354055.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

je me souviens

chrysa — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 04:55:01 GMT

Every once in a while, I get forlorn or sad, and I always feel trapped inside of it.

But then I remember times in my life when I could find happiness and contentment despite always feeling trapped in it.

(I miss this.)

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PSA: on airing out other people's dirty laundry

chrysa — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 03:14:59 GMT

Hi everyone.

I just feel like this is something that needs to be said, and I'm going to say it because I'm that type of person.

If you know me -- which you probably do if you're here -- and if you've known me more than in passing for even a one-month period, you'll know that I always have ridiculous amounts of bullshit drama going on in my life. In fact, I am having bullshit drama right now as I'm typing this because it's the type of life I live and I can't control it even though I desperately want to.

So that being said: Sometimes I vent to my friends about it. Sometimes I write journal entries about it. But really, I can't control it even though I desperately want to.

I'm writing this in mind as someone who knows what it's like to go through drama. And for all I'm a blabber mouth, I'm an incredibly private person.

Some people are dicks and want to air our their own dirty laundry in public. Which is fine. I've had a fight with my dad in Kmart before, over the phone, where I was crying loudly in public, and some lady walked up to me and offered me kind words and support. Not the proudest moment of my life, but it's my own shit. (Er, also this was this...year...)

But. My own bullshit is mine. Not someone else's.

If you're the type of asshole who spits out other people's drama in public, I think you are the lowest of the low.

First of all: fuck you. You don't think I have enough fucking drama in my life? I think a lot of people are scumbags, but a lot of them are just general scumbags. If you're personally out to make my life more miserable, I will cut you.

There are some things I can't tell my parents -- there are some things I can't tell my sister, or a majority of my friends, or even write about because they are things that I can't talk about. So who the fuck are you to tell everyone what's going on in my life when it's none of your own goddamn business? Why are you piling bullshit on top of my other bullshit?

This post is not about me. Or it isn't about me, right now, but out of respect for other people's privacy, I won't say what it's about or whom. But it pisses me off because 1) it's happened to me and 2) I won't stand for it. If you want to be unclassy, do it on your own time, not at my or anyone else's expense.

With how much bullshit I go through every day, you don't think I know how to fuck people's shit up? Yeah. Yeah. 'Cause I do.

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I have no self control / NOTW (not day because)

chrysa — Mon, 27 Aug 2012 04:22:20 GMT

So I caved in an ordered four polishes for Zoya's back-to-school BOGO. larky ordered another four, which made a total of eight for the max.

--and then I went right on polishsale and picked up four more polishes, though in my defense, one for larky and one for pyrefly.

And I haven't even blogged about the four OPI's I picked up earlier this month when I went to visit larky. chiharu is on her game and blogging so many times about everything though as;dfjkas; /fails at this.

I don't know guys. I work really long hours now that I'm doing interviews at home, in the evening. And some more stupid bullshit racist things some douchebag said to me on Friday evening.

Anyway: My nails for the week.

Featuring Zoya Jaime, Essence Space Queen, and a nail art sticker.

I messed this up so badly doing it the first time because my roommate came in and asked me if I had change for a $20 (I did, but in the process of looking for all the pieces, I messed up my nails). And then I somehow painted like three layers of base coat intsead of top coat because it took me like an hour to figure out why it was drying so slowly.

Because...yeah.

But it's been a week and it's barely chipped, and I'm just leaving it on until it does. Because I'm too lazy to change it. Why do I need this much polish again...?

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a couple of things

chrysa — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 04:48:35 GMT

So we found a new roommate and signed a new lease so that's taken care of. I'm slowly crossing things off my to-do list in hopes I will not freak out about it.

1) My friend, larky, is a nursing student who plans on going on a charity mission trip to the Dominican Republic to provide medical aid for impoverished areas this winter, and she really needs help gathering donations and supplies. If you can offer anything — or just help by reblogging or spreading the word — it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Also, if it's worth your interest, I'm also making graphics for donation equivalents. And uh, I can make rec lists, obviously. Hell, if you donate, you might even con me into writing fic if you're that desperate to read my writing (haha).

But please please please do it. You can even write it off as a charitable donation -- she's provided a form for it.

2) Uh, so this is kind of inspired by the latest slashreport, but if you live in the Baltimore/DC/NoVA region, would you like to hang out? And I know a bunch of you are because I'm a creeper and picked a bunch of you as friends specifically because of it.

But it's nice to meet fandom people IRL and have people to hang out with. I get kind of lonely sometimes, so if you ever want someone to hang with, please pick me. :D I'm super "cool" and geeky and mostly because I know all the awesome places in Baltimore to eat food. No, really, this is a good reason to be friends with me.

3) omg IRBB. I'm failing so hard. I'm writing, I promise, sob.

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the internet trolls manda and me

chrysa — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 05:23:52 GMT

chrysa: oh fuck i broke web trillian
chrysa: oh fuck i broke web trillian
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chrysa: oh fuck i broke web trillian
chrysa: oh fuck i broke web trillian
chrysa: oh fuck i broke web trillian
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cascades: WHAT'S GOING O N
chrysa: obviously
chrysa: i broke it
chrysa: LOL
cascades: LMAO
cascades: HOW DID YOU DO THAT

Your soul has to be dead if you don't think that's funny.

+006 today, we celebrate our independence. (and katie holmes'.)

chrysa — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 02:17:14 GMT

HAPPY FREAKIN' AMERICA

You're welcome. (And yes, I spend too much time on Tumblr.)

Now that that's out of the way, let's do some nail blogging.

I'm not usually one for nail art that's too complicated as my nail polish routine is generally long enough. Taking off polish, the wash+lotion+prime situation, putting on a case coat, then at least two layers of colour, and a top coat usually takes me at least 45 minutes, and adding anything on top of that is usually tedious, but I thought it would be nice to be festive for America's birthday and all.

(picture courtesy of chiharu. ;D Because I'm too lazy to take my own. Also, her hat.)

And also, because I'm an equal opportunist, but also a terrible person, here's rykea's manicure for Canada Day this past weekend. Which I took from her Twitter, without her permission. Hi bb, I hope you don't mind. ;D If you do, oops.

If you're curious about how to do straight-line nail art designs, here's a link to a bunch of tutorials, all of which use scotch tape. It's pretty simple, if a bit time-consuming and sticky at times. And frustrating if you have terrible white polish like I do. It's a mess.

I'd plug Zoya's nail polish deal right now, but their site and the situation is a hot mess. I think not plugging it will make it go easier on them.

Happy Independence Day everyone. Hope you had a good day. :33

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/351189.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

+005 The collection

chrysa — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 06:52:48 GMT

So a while back (i.e., a few months ago during the middle of the school year), mandaffodil asked me to take a picture of my full nail polish collection. At first I kept putting it off because of schoolwork even though I'd taken the pictures, but now it's just embarrassing like me reading massive and embarrassing amounts of Teen Wolf fic and watching White Collar on Hulu and I'm just going to shut up before I embarrass myself anymore.

OPI: Black and Silver Shatter (the shatter wrap around the top fell off the silver shatter), It's Totally Fort Worth It (graduation present from larky! ♥), Pearl of Wisdom, It's Sheer Luck, Pirouette My Whistle, Do You Think I'm Tex-y, Tease-y Does It

Nicole by OPI: OMB! (which stands for Oh My Bieber. I know. I know. But it's pretty), Kim-pletely In Love, Make Mine Lime, Disco Dolls

Sephora by OPI: Just a Little Dangerous, Caribbean Cocktail; I'd also gotten the Sephora by OPI Glimmer Wonderland mini set, which had 18 mini polishes.

The one that's missing is the small version of Just a Little Dangerous (the purple), which I already had. I gave to elystia since she was the one who'd encouraged me to get the big bottle first. She's yet to produce a picture of her wearing it though. B|

It's a good way to try out a bunch of colours at once and at a lower cost. Also, if you're curious how big they are compared to the full-sized bottle, here's a side-by-side comparison:

They've about 1/4th the amount as a full-sized OPI bottle, so if you only want to try a colour once or twice...

Anyway, into the land of the other brands.

Essie: Mint Candy Apple, Pink Diamond
China Glaze: Four Leaf Clover, Midnight Kiss

Zoya: Kendal, Jaime, Asia, Ibiza

Jessica: Iridescent Eye
Essence: Space Queen
Sinful Colors: Pearl Harbor and the black and teal which I didn't bother finding the names for when I bought them.

Sally Hansen: Rockstar Pink, Posh Plum (Ariel once told me this looked like a stripper colour), Gunmetal, White On

Love & Beauty (Forever 21's brand): I ♥ Neons set. Includes the yellow that gave birth to atomic!Pikachu on Larky's nails. A birthday present from a friend.

LA Colors: birthday gift from chiharu. They don't have names on them, but they do have serial numbers... too lazy to look up the names.

And here are the top and base coats I've purchased. The Sally Hansen base is awful; don't get it, it'll screw up your nails. The quick-dry top is okay but it'll probably make your polishes crack after a few days, depending on how curved your nails are. I'm pretty much solely using the Seche base and top coats. The Qtica is a nice top coat and plays well with Zoya, but it takes a really long time to dry.

Also, among other nail decoration/accessory things I have:

The stamping are Konad plates m57 and m64 -- I like them okay, but I still can't get Konad right, and it's always so messy for me, sigh. The nail art stickers were a move-out gift from Ariel. XD Also, not pictured is my current/stamping black which is just Black Creme by Wet n' Wild. Was too lazy to pull it out to photograph it.

And here's what the container bin looks like:

All my nail polish still in one of those plastic cubbies from college because hello, I just graduated and will continue to remain undignified for some time. Some time may be shorter rather than longer though, since the drawer is starting to sink in under the weight of the polishes.

So, a total count:
45 full-sized nail polish bottles (or a bottle that's at least 13mL+)
18 mini-sized nail polishes (5mL or less)
4 tops/bases (since the Sally Hansen base is so low I can't even get to the polish with my brush anymore)
2 stamping plates
1 nail polish problem.

The really sad/scary part is that this isn't even a large nail polish collection for serious collectors. No, really. Like some people buy entire seasonal collection (usually at least 6 polishes) and cover way more brands than I do.

I'm seriously trying to stop myself from buying more though. Like this much polish, I could manicure my group of friends for a year and still wouldn't be out.

S T O P

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/350498.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

+004 Awesome nail polish blogs! (plus a touch of feminism)

chrysa — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 07:24:24 GMT

Ugh I'm so bad at this 100 things blog I should probably give up, but maybe I'll miraculously make it to like 25 or something.

Anyway, awesome nail polish blogs.

One of the best things about shopping online for nail polish is the access to a huge selection of brands, collections, and colours. Unfortunately, it's difficult to tell sometimes what those colours may look like in person much less on you, which is why we have nail polish bloggers who swatch things for us and show off newly released collections or just talk about polish in general.

In this post, I just want to give a plug to:

Polish or Perish
Why? Their tagline: "Women who have almost as much nail polish as they have education."

For this, I turn to Olivia Wilde's words of wisdom (which were imparted on her by her mother): "A real feminist doesn’t apologize for her beauty. You can be a sexy, beautiful woman and be the smartest person in the room." Who says you can't have it all? Certainly, Miss Wilde does (and an even bigger heart to boot).

On a rather downer topic, my SPSSI (where I interned last summer) biweekly newsletter a few days ago pointed me to this disappointing article: Feminine [STEM] Role Models Do Not Motivate Girls.

For those of you who don't know, STEM stands for "science, technology, engineering, math," which is basically an acronym to represent the "hard" sciences that women are usually underrepresented in. While I graduated with a BA, I can assure you that my entire training in college and my entire background in HS was highly loaded with STEM coursework.

As someone who loves the sciences and also really likes make-up and pretty, girly things ~~especially nail polish~~, it's a bit disheartening to read.

What do y'all think? Just poorly done research, or female jealousy?

--and what are some nail polish blogs you like?

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/349742.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

+003 Nail Polish Idols and Origins

chrysa — Fri, 18 May 2012 08:08:10 GMT

Oh man, I am so behind on this 100 themes thing. I have all of these topics and posts lined up, but I got derailed by finals and having to write 40+ pages worth of essays* in the last two weeks. (*Actually 40 pages of essays. In two weeks. Not an exaggeration. SOB.)

Anyway, I finally done and less than a week away from my degree -- which will include a special graduation nails edition! -- but since I'm so behind, let's knock out two birds with one stone.

On topic this post: celebrities and nail polish (sort of).

Just like with most beauty and fashion-related things, celebrities these days also want a piece of the pie. In the last year or so, OPI has released several collections with celebrity backing including Katy Perry, Serena Williams, and Nicki Minaj.

While that's all good and fun, I only have one nail polish idol (no pun intended -- really).

adam bb is so handsome and qt at the same time ♥
For those of you who haven't known me since my freshman year of university (3 years now, omg!), I have a long-standing and somewhat terrifying love for Adam Lambert.

Along with his voice and charisma, Adam is known for two other things: eyeliner and (black) nail polish.

Thank you, RS, for boiling that down to one picture for us.

If I'm allowed to be honest for a moment, Adam is probably actually the reason I got into nail polish. It was always something I sort of liked, but until I became his fan of his, I only wore polish irregularly. After him, I wore black polish. All. The. Time. Actually, for the first 6 months or so, I pretty much exclusively wore black (and teal. Because I like teal okay).

Unlike the aforementioned celebrities, however, Adam doesn't have his own polish line. Trust me, being a male celebrity does not preclude you to having your own polish line, but unlike certain unmentionable-but-referenced singers, Adam actually wears the polish.

While Adam is definitely known for wearing black polish as part of his signature look, that doesn't mean he never branches out. In fact, in the early days of his promotion, I remember him wearing dark blue and silver chrome polish several times.

In fact, as part of his new album promotions, Adam had metallic nails earlier this week,.

[via] I wonder what colour this is! rykea'd thought it was silver, and I'd thought it was gold during the
IHeartRadio concert, but it looks like it may actually be Peridot or a dupe. («Pic♥grisclair.)

Early today (er, yesterday now I guess), Adam promoted his current single, Never Close Our Eyes, by performing on Idol. Imagine my surprise when he started that he had this vibrant polish that pretty much glowed in the dark.

SO YELLOW WTF
It definitely went along with the sharpie yellow theme that he and the rest of the band were rocking. If I hadn't just redone my nails yesterday and didn't want to terrify my parents this weekend when we go up for my sister's graduation, I would've redone my nails the same highlighter yellow as an homage. As for why I have highlighter yellow polish... that's another story. One that gave us nuclear Pikachu.

LOL yes he has to sing like that idek
Anyway, the short and the long of this post it that Adam is my nail polish hero -- because he takes risks. Not only by rocking polish in the first place, but by trying on colours that are more than the "acceptable" ones. The other take-home message thing I want to get out is that nail polish doesn't have to be a female thing (askdfjakls he has tiny flowers on his toes. and played offensive guard in college). It's nice to see someone very public stand up for that. But that's a topic and a rant for another post.

--But the real reason I made this post today is because Adam's new album is out!!! And you should buy his new album now. Why? Because it's freaking awesome. Listen to a stream of it right now if you don't believe me.

The best part about this album is that the cover is 100% less embarrassing to pick up and buy in an actual store.
According to HitsDailyDouble predictions, Adam's vying for #1 on Billboard's charts next week. And why is this so significant? Because if he succeeds, he'll be the first openly gay musician to land a #1 hit on the BB100 -- how's that for progress?

(I was going to link the article I found that fact in, but then I got distracted at looking at Teen Wolf recaps on AfterElton. My life. So sad.)

Anyway, please support him! If not because he has awesome music, then because he has awesome nail polish. ♥

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/349272.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

+002 current sales!

chrysa — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 05:01:30 GMT

I love nail polish, but like most people, I am on a budget. Which is a problem because nail polish is a really expensive hobby, considering all the brands and collections every season. I pretty much exclusively buy polishes at discount because I am in college ergo poor, so if anyone gets it, I do.

I also like to share my tricks and finds, so y'all can hopefully save too! (Or not feel as guilty about buying a lot of polish.)

Specifically, this section will be highlighting mostly salon brands on sale at chain beauty or retail outlets in the US (because that's where I live) or have online sites. I'll post every time I see a deal worth sharing.

Anyway, here we go~

Sally Beauty is a store I hadn't heard of until I got really into polishes. They're a really great store because they offer a lot of discounted salon beauty products without requiring you to have a cosmetology license or something. (Fun fact: once my sister and I got shooed out of one of those stores. Sob.)

Anyway, Sally Beauty is offering buy two get one free on all their polishes until the end of the month. Sally stocks a few brands of interest among others: Finger Paints, which is a brand exclusive to their store, Orly, and polish fanatics' favourite China Glaze. The best part is, they stock China Glaze for $6 when the average retail price is usually $7-$7.50, and, if you sign up for their Beauty Club, for $5, you instantly get a $5 coupon back and you get their club prices.

For ChG, their club price is only $5/bottle. So with B2G1 free, that's $3.33/bottle or $10/3 bottles, which is pretty much on par with drug store brands (and about 50% off the average retail price!)

Unfortunately, you have to buy $50 worth of stuff to qualify for free shipping, so unless if you want like 15 new bottles of ChG polish, it's better to take advantage of this offer in stores. Unfortunately for me, Sally is super hard to get to from where I live because I have no car. But hopefully someone else can benefit from this find?

Another B2G1 offer I saw today on polishes was at Ulta.

It had taken me a randomly look time to re-realise the existence of Ulta, even though it's been around for like forever. For those of you who don't know Ulta is like the cheaper version of Sephora -- not in that they carry crappier products, but rather in that they pretty much carry the same products, but they also have coupons and sales, which Sephora for some reason like never has.

Also, they carry more than one brand of nail polish.

So right now, it appears that they are also offering B2G1 free on their China Glaze and Orly collections, though they're slightly more expensive than Sally Beauty. Along with that, Revlon, which I've heard is a pretty good drug store brand.

According to the ad, it seems like they are also offering B2G1 on their OPI stock, but they only carry OPI proper in stores. If you're really into OPI, I suggest you take advantage of it since OPI regularly retails for $8.50, and I like never see it on sale. At $17/3 bottles (or $5.67/bottle), that's a pretty huge discount.

Also, it seems like they dropped the price of N!OPI to $7/bottle when usually it's on sale for $8, but it's not part of the B2G1 discount, unfortunately.

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with any of the aforementioned brands or stores nor have I been offered any sort of compensation - monetary, products, services, or otherwise - in return for advertising their offers or products. All specials were discovered on my own and I am the sole author of this content.

That's all I have to share for now. Hopefully someone can take advantage of one of the sales. Unfortunately, I can't because I'm moving in a month and I keep telling myself I'm not going to accumulate more stuff.

If you do, though, take a picture and show me when you get your new polishes! I wanna live vicariously. :3

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/348199.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

+001 Nails of the Day [NOTD] Spring Fair edition!

chrysa — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 04:58:28 GMT

So I was going to start this off by doing something more substantive, like taking a picture of my entire nail polish collection like mandaffodil had asked me to, but I've been busy recently and uh, my pictures for that was really bad so I'm probably going to redo them.

Anyway! larky and aerialled came and visited me this weekend because it was spring fair at my school.

larky insisted we take this picture, and I'm only posting it because YOU CAN'T SEE ANY OF OUR FACES ANYWAY
Of course, as per everything I do, I insisted that I paint people's nails and I did Simin's and mine. :D Larky did her own nails, which are also under the cut.

OPI Pearl of Wisdom with Sally Hansen Rockstar Pink as a glitter coat
There is only one place in my room which has enough light for me to take a good picture of my hands, and very few times of the day, which makes me mad. This picture also makes me look so much paler than I really am. Yay lighting!

Anyway, I've been eying OPI Pearl of Wisdom from their 2010 Hong Kong collection for a while, but I'd sort of given up on it because it was from an older collection, which can be hard to get. However, I saw it on polishsale a few weeks back for $2 (~$4 after shipping) only swatched twice, so I had to snag it. It's as gorgeous as I'd hoped.

Pearl of Wisdom (picture of without the glitter) is pretty translucent, but my nails are different lengths right now and I didn't feel like cutting them, so I just put a gradient glitter coat over it to hide it. Hopefully I'll be able to wear it without the glitter sometime soon. It looks more purple on my hand because of the glitter, but it was pretty pinkish before it. I think it's super cute though. ♥

Nicole by OPI [N!OPI] Kim-pletely in Love with N!OPI Disco Dolls
First of all, I just want to say, I think Simin has really cute hands and really cute nails. She's self-conscious about them because she used to bite them, but think her nails are actually in pretty decent condition. >.>

Anyway, I'm super jealous because Simin has a warm skin tone and is pale, and that means she gets to wear basically all the pinks I want to wear but can't because I'm cool. She picked out these cute pinks from my collection including my Zoya Jaime, which I'd picked up specifically because it was a cool-toned pink, but I directed her to this beautiful pink I have that I can't really wear.

N!OPI Kim-pletely in Love is this adorable pink with light blue glitter in it, but I also wanted to make it more sparkly, so I added a thin layer of N!OPI Disco Dolls. It's actually a pretty thick glitter, which I know a lot of people like if they like wearing glitters, but I actually am annoyed by since it makes using glitters as just a top more difficult (like also with Rockstar Pink from above). Thus, it turned out chunkier in some places /sob.

Zoya Isla
(Holy crap this lighting even makes her look really pale.)

Larky snagged Isla from the Zoya sale last month when we collectively ordered 6 polishes between the two of us at a discount, and it's really as gorgeous in person as you can imagine. I don't have very much to say about it other than it's very pretty and makes us happy ;_;

Speaking of Zoya, though, they are having their Annual Earth Day sale again! It seems like it's getting shorter every year... a few years ago, it ran from Earth Day to the end of June. Then it ran from Earth day to the end of April. And now it's only two days long. Shame. If I weren't moving (and hadn't banned myself from buying polish for the time being) I might take advantage of it, especially since there are a few old/deathly smelling polishes I'm trying to get rid of.

When I do a brand spotlight, I'll talk about Zoya a bit more, but you can either take advantage of this offer (since they usually retail for ~$8 each) or if you're new to the brand, and just want to try out the brand, use one of my referral links, link "create an account", and they'll put a coupon for a free polish in your account (so then it's like ~$6)! If you add another, you can even qualify for free shipping (2 for $8, which is about the same price as a bottle of polish at the drugstore).

So that's it for the first post. That's probably the longest NOTD post I'll do since I doubt I'm every going to have three pictures again. Simin and I are going to eat ice cream or something in our quest to Eat All the Food, and watch The Daily Show. ♥

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/348134.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

+100 things about nail polish masterlist

chrysa — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 08:28:16 GMT

{Take the 100 Things challenge!}
As many of you know, I have a not-so-quiet obsession with nail polish. Mostly, I'm an enthusiast rather than a hardcore addict. I don't have the time, financial means, or patience to become a real polish blogger, but I am well-read and informed, so I'll try to share my love and knowledge with you.

I'm a little hesitant about picking this as the sole topic since I feel like I don't have 100 things to say about nail polish, but I probably really do, so. Topics will include brands, colors, swatches/NOTD, trends, hot tips, and how to save.

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/347793.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

right outside my front door was a rose and a note that said: "somebody loves you"

chrysa — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 23:08:39 GMT

Dear Friends,

It occurred to me today that I don't say this enough and you really need to know: I love you.

Yes, you. You, who are reading this. You, whom I have not talked to for hours, days, weeks, months, but especially those of you who are not reading this. I just wanted to let you know, somebody out there is thinking about you, missing you, and hoping that you are doing well.

Recovery is really hard. Sometimes it feels like when I take two steps forward, I am taking three steps back rather than one. But I'm not.

For a long time, longer than I realized, I felt very alone. I wasn't - am not, but the state of being alone and feeling alone are two very different things.

There was nothing particularly special about today. It wasn't a bad day, but I've had better days in the last month. But, it occurred to me as I was sitting on the bus...

...that I wasn't alone. That I had people who liked me. That I had people who love me. And that revelation was strangely humbling.

As RuPaul says, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?"

I've been absent for a while. I've had so many things I wanted to say, but somehow I couldn't find the time or effort to say them. But there's all the time in the world for that later (including lots of spam about nail polish, including this gorgeous new pink I got that I'm in love with, but)

For now, I just wanted to say: Hi friend. I love you. I miss you. Won't you please tell me a little about your day?

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/347094.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

---SCREAM

chrysa — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:56:35 GMT

...*SCREAMING A LOT*

This is the entry.

I don't have anything else to add.

This entry was originally posted at http://koyuki.dreamwidth.org/344149.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

the great migration

chrysa — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 20:31:46 GMT

THE Livejournal TO Dreamwidth ^(FANDOM) FRIENDING MEME!
I've been absolutely terrible about tracking all of you down and refriending you DW since I'm trying to migrate my fics from LJ to AO3 by hand right now. /o\

If you want to friend me, please drop me a note here with your LJ username and I'll add you back ASAP.

*gets back to moving fic*

peace on earth and mercy mild

chrysa — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 03:38:08 GMT

Merry Christmas! ♥

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas and the happiest of holiday seasons. Hope you've had a wonderful day, and that all the happiness and warmth may extend year round.

so many feelings ;_;

chrysa — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 18:43:16 GMT

This song gives me so many feelings. SO MANY FEELINGS EVER.

My bb is back. ♥