2017 Year in Review ★ "Personally very successful" ★ "Politically disastrous"
I've finally managed to start this at a reasonable time this year — thought I started thinking about it just before Christmas and the fact that it took me til now to get started on it.
The theme of this year is "personally very successful, politically disastrous" which I'm taking from someone, I can't find the source whatever... I'm not going to comment on the politics because it's despairing but I'm going to keep it focused on what happened in my life.
Since we have a formula now for these:
2017 don't fucking disappoint me in review and other stuff not on that list
+ So. I got into grad school. I didn't register for any classes this year, but it's better than randomly just taking any classes. I actually got in for Fall, but I decided to delay to get myself together more.
I'll be getting my MPH in biostatistics and epidemiology from Boston University starting in January, in a 3-semester program. Which is really exciting! Going back to school has always been my goal, and whether or not that becomes a stepping stone to med school (again) is somewhat peripheral at this point. But I'm in a better place about my career path than I have been for a while. Not everyone has that privilege - having a stable job they decide to leave so they can pursue something better.
Part of the reason it's possible is because of the program duration and that they'd given me a minor scholarship that will make the program about 20% less expensive, but even then. Given that I just paid off my student loans at the end of 2015, it made me hesitant — but not enough to stay in this hellscape job.
+ What really pushed me was that my former boss at my job - who has been one of my greatest mentors in my life yet - decided to leave his role as a global director in a global company and work full time as the executive director (CEO) of his non-profit on diversity and education. I'm really happy for him! Even though he's taught me a lot, I feel like him leaving has made me learn a lot too. I've never not been able to fend for myself but it's given me a better opportunity to learn how to navigate petty office politics, especially in a place where it's as entrenched as it is. Part of the reason I'd taken this job was so I could work at a larger company to gain this kind of experience, so I think that the time I've spent here has been put to good use.
Though I'm still so glad I'll never have to work for N*** G******* again.
+ In terms of mental health, that seems to be one of the biggest bullet points from my 2016 YIR — not only the getting an evaluation part, but the "apathetic" part really speaks to me now. Hindsight is 20/20.
I finished what I started at the end of last year, which was to get an ADHD evaluation and lo and behold, I have ADHD. It's a comfort to have confirmation, if nothing else. Ironically, I'm not sure if it'll help me get the accommodations I need since the school is requiring an unreasonable number of hoops (in particular a financial barrier) to get them. It's almost like... I should just get medication instead...
+ Speaking of which, as part of my ADHD evaluation, the provider reminded me again that I lapsed into depression. After crying a bunch and throwing a fit, I went to my GP and asked for the same antidepressant I was on and ... for the most part, I feel a lot better. I still lapse into unprovoked anxiety at times and I had at least one panic attack two weeks ago regarding deadlines for certain things, but I feel better. For real. It's definitely like — you don't even know how much until it's better. I'm glad that the dosage I need is low and I'm relatively easy to "fix".
I do remember how strongly I opposed being medicated at one point. Ideally maybe I won't be on them forever, but I needed a crutch for a long time and I didn't have it, and I'm not opposed to having one now when I'm sure I'd be a horrible mess without it.
+ Also! I got braces — Invisalign. I've been having a lot of jaw problems so it felt like it was time. By the time I graduate school again, I'll be a whole new person... Yikes the medical fees I accrued this year...
+ I went to Cancun with
chiharu for her birthday. I didn't travel much this year, so I'm glad the one trip I made was well worth it. Maybe financially better considering I'm going to school. But relaxing and worth it.
2018 is a roll of the dice
+ I keep saying I'm going to run a 5k and then I don't. Here's to doing it next year. Also more yoga because I'm getting older now and I seriously keep fucking up my neck and shoulders and this is going to give me actual health problems if I don't take care of it. I probably need to get a massage at least once a month or every two months at least.
+ Date. I know I also keep saying this but -- for reals now. Part of the reason I gave up on it was because I'd gotten into school and it seemed pointless to date when I was going to move. Some people would call it practice (which I do desperately need in fairness). I call it putting off something I don't want to do but have to.
+ Make friends! I've made one very good new friend this year and a couple of friends who I don't know as well yet, but part of the reason I hoped to go back to school was to also meet other like-minded others.
+ Write! I have so many WIPs... lol. Will I ever write anything other than rants again? Who knows.
+ I feel like I should put something aspirational and out there. It was such a fulfilling year personally that I don't even know what else to put here. I bought a new camera lens... maybe put it to use more.
+ Do more volunteer work! Why not? I've been wanting to and just haven't found the time/right opportunity.
Finally, I still plan to do Christmas cards in the future, but I gave up the idea of doing it pre-emptively this year. Maybe I have red cards somewhere and can use them for CNY.
To summarize, me this year:
The theme of this year is "personally very successful, politically disastrous" which I'm taking from someone, I can't find the source whatever... I'm not going to comment on the politics because it's despairing but I'm going to keep it focused on what happened in my life.
Since we have a formula now for these:
2017 don't fucking disappoint me in review and other stuff not on that list
+ So. I got into grad school. I didn't register for any classes this year, but it's better than randomly just taking any classes. I actually got in for Fall, but I decided to delay to get myself together more.
I'll be getting my MPH in biostatistics and epidemiology from Boston University starting in January, in a 3-semester program. Which is really exciting! Going back to school has always been my goal, and whether or not that becomes a stepping stone to med school (again) is somewhat peripheral at this point. But I'm in a better place about my career path than I have been for a while. Not everyone has that privilege - having a stable job they decide to leave so they can pursue something better.
Part of the reason it's possible is because of the program duration and that they'd given me a minor scholarship that will make the program about 20% less expensive, but even then. Given that I just paid off my student loans at the end of 2015, it made me hesitant — but not enough to stay in this hellscape job.
+ What really pushed me was that my former boss at my job - who has been one of my greatest mentors in my life yet - decided to leave his role as a global director in a global company and work full time as the executive director (CEO) of his non-profit on diversity and education. I'm really happy for him! Even though he's taught me a lot, I feel like him leaving has made me learn a lot too. I've never not been able to fend for myself but it's given me a better opportunity to learn how to navigate petty office politics, especially in a place where it's as entrenched as it is. Part of the reason I'd taken this job was so I could work at a larger company to gain this kind of experience, so I think that the time I've spent here has been put to good use.
Though I'm still so glad I'll never have to work for N*** G******* again.
+ In terms of mental health, that seems to be one of the biggest bullet points from my 2016 YIR — not only the getting an evaluation part, but the "apathetic" part really speaks to me now. Hindsight is 20/20.
I finished what I started at the end of last year, which was to get an ADHD evaluation and lo and behold, I have ADHD. It's a comfort to have confirmation, if nothing else. Ironically, I'm not sure if it'll help me get the accommodations I need since the school is requiring an unreasonable number of hoops (in particular a financial barrier) to get them. It's almost like... I should just get medication instead...
+ Speaking of which, as part of my ADHD evaluation, the provider reminded me again that I lapsed into depression. After crying a bunch and throwing a fit, I went to my GP and asked for the same antidepressant I was on and ... for the most part, I feel a lot better. I still lapse into unprovoked anxiety at times and I had at least one panic attack two weeks ago regarding deadlines for certain things, but I feel better. For real. It's definitely like — you don't even know how much until it's better. I'm glad that the dosage I need is low and I'm relatively easy to "fix".
I do remember how strongly I opposed being medicated at one point. Ideally maybe I won't be on them forever, but I needed a crutch for a long time and I didn't have it, and I'm not opposed to having one now when I'm sure I'd be a horrible mess without it.
+ Also! I got braces — Invisalign. I've been having a lot of jaw problems so it felt like it was time. By the time I graduate school again, I'll be a whole new person... Yikes the medical fees I accrued this year...
+ I went to Cancun with
chiharu for her birthday. I didn't travel much this year, so I'm glad the one trip I made was well worth it. Maybe financially better considering I'm going to school. But relaxing and worth it.2018 is a roll of the dice
+ I keep saying I'm going to run a 5k and then I don't. Here's to doing it next year. Also more yoga because I'm getting older now and I seriously keep fucking up my neck and shoulders and this is going to give me actual health problems if I don't take care of it. I probably need to get a massage at least once a month or every two months at least.
+ Date. I know I also keep saying this but -- for reals now. Part of the reason I gave up on it was because I'd gotten into school and it seemed pointless to date when I was going to move. Some people would call it practice (which I do desperately need in fairness). I call it putting off something I don't want to do but have to.
+ Make friends! I've made one very good new friend this year and a couple of friends who I don't know as well yet, but part of the reason I hoped to go back to school was to also meet other like-minded others.
+ Write! I have so many WIPs... lol. Will I ever write anything other than rants again? Who knows.
+ I feel like I should put something aspirational and out there. It was such a fulfilling year personally that I don't even know what else to put here. I bought a new camera lens... maybe put it to use more.
+ Do more volunteer work! Why not? I've been wanting to and just haven't found the time/right opportunity.
Finally, I still plan to do Christmas cards in the future, but I gave up the idea of doing it pre-emptively this year. Maybe I have red cards somewhere and can use them for CNY.
To summarize, me this year: