†★_ĀҜ_☆

[Masterpost] The Pinky Ring

chibikaede — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 23:02:31 GMT

Title: The Pinky Ring
Pairing: Kame- fictional charc, Jin- Fictional charc
Multi-Chapter
Rating: PG-13 (verbal language)
Genre: romance, angst, friendship, family
Disclaimer: A boy and a girl merely just two 6 year old kid too innocent to be tainted by love. Best friend shared their childhood together. The meaning of love was too young to be understood. Too young to develop such feelings. The factor was just too complicated. It was just a small promise any average child would have forgotten it by now. The entwine of two pinky together. 10 years later, does the ring pinky still mean anything? Would the owner even want the ring back?

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Newest: Chapter 3

Chapter 3 The Pinky Ring

chibikaede — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 22:20:49 GMT

Chapter o3

‘I prayed each day

In hopes God heard my
prayers

Feels like I’m a
grain of sand on a beach

Infinitely lost’

14 Years Ago
Mizuki's Flashback

"Kazuya! Here's yours!" The little girl wearing a white plain silk dress standing across from her best friend hands the ring to the little boy in blue torn and faded jeans. Kazuya stared at the sliver shiny ring and back up to the girl with a confused and puzzled look.

"This ring is for you!" I got my daddy to engrave our names on the rings too! Kazuya and Mizuki put together so I engrabed Kazuki! You were my only friend while I was in Tokyo, but when I'm gone you have the ring, so you won't miss me."

I looked at my best friend with a forced smile on my face, I really didn't want to leave Japan yet, I felt this is where I truly belonged, because Kazuya is here. Because of my dad always moving from country to country for businesses I felt like a bird always migrating from one place to another.

I heard only a small murmur of thank you from Kazuya, but for me that was good enough for me. I smiled and said, "You better wear it everyday."

As I heard my parents calling for me in the distance I felt my heart dropping closer into a bottomless pit. I didn't know what to do, I was running out of time, I was always really good at bidding my friends goodbye, for me they were never really close to me. But this time is different; I didn't know what to say. By now I heard my dad calling for me in frustration telling me to get into the car. I quickly hugged Kazuya and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Lets meet again soon in Tokyo! 10 years from today on Tokyo tower, we must meet again."

10 Years Later

Miki's Point of View

I was only 6 at th at time when I made such a foolish request to Kazuya. As I stood hundreds of meters above ground watching cars look like little dots on the street. It was hard toe ven spot human from such high level. Feeling nervous I touched my sliver ring on my left hand. The summer breeze gently brushing pass my face felt so gracious.

'Will he come?' I thought to myself.

Half of myself trust that he would come but the other half; reality told me it was impossbie, he wasn't going to remember. Even if he did he wouldn't have cared to come all the way here for me. I stood there folding my arms across my chest and looked up into the sky and prayed to God once again.

'God has always answered my prayers.' I nodded to myself for reassurance

Minutes ticked away soon became hours, hours passed by as I stood there for six hours. I watched the sun set before my eyes while thinking to myself how pathetic I was to come all the way here to get stood up and watch a sunset from such senery by myself. I gently brushed a single teardrop from the corner of my eyes.

'Mizuki, you sure are dumb, you knew he wouldn't come, why even bother?'

As I get off the elavator down from Tokyo tower a few blocks down I saw ambluances lights flashing accompained by a few police cars. I cursed to myself hoping the roads weren't blocked off because I needed to go that way home. As I reached up the road I saw two adults talking to a police officers. Off to the side a little blond hair kid reaching underneath of the car trying to reach something. Then, I saw the soft brown hair boy side of his face covered in blood. I remember clearly seeing that bloody face boys eyes drifted towards my direction with his index finger weakly pointing at me. Then he passed out, all I did was ran without looking back.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-The.Pinky.Ring=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=

I don’t know why I went back the next day and the day after that. I went there for a week. I knew Kazuya was always somewhat a forgetful person. But then again, he never showed up anyways. I questioned myself, am I more upset the fact that maybe, Kazuya forgot. Or the fact maybe he just didn’t care about me anymore.

I lost everything before coming here, my father’s business had failed we were in debt and we couldn’t pay back the money. We sold everything, our house, our car, and even the TV in the living room was sold. Most tragic thing was I even lost my parents. My mother was angered by my father and his careless mistakes that had brought the family in danger. Then, my father was furious how my mother wasn’t more understanding. Soon after, I was questioned by the policemen about why my parent’s commited suicide.

Wondering in the streets hoping I might accidentally bump into him. I walked to my old house everyday hoping maybe he was standing there waiting for my return. As a full year went by my hopes slowly faded. I knew I had to move on, I got a job at a coffee shop and enrolled back in school. Luckily I lived with a co-worker who needed someone to help pay rent. Slowly I was getting my life back together.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-The.Pinky.Ring=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

As I heard a bunch of my classmates entering the coffee shop I saw the cutest boy in our class getting pushed around with his group of friends. I watched as the classmate named Jin trying to sprint to the exit door but his group of friends would block him and push him back into the coffee shop. Slowly his group of friends pushed him closer and closer to me as I was standing by the till.

“Well ummm…. Hi Miki.” Said Jin

“Hi, what can I get for you today?” I asked him with a cheerful smile on my face ready to take his order.

“Can I have…ummm….uuh..” Jin’s face slowly became bright red all the way up to the end of his ears. He looked down at his feet kicking invisible air. He stood there for two minutes in totally silence.

“CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?!” yelled Jin as he held out his cellphone at my face with his head bowing down. Everyone at the coffee shop turned their heads towards me. My face soon became cheery red as I slowly grabbed the cellphone and entered in my number and gave it back to him.

He finally lifted his head and looked and saw him with such a big smile, the biggest smile I had ever seen. He laughed and ran towards his friends jumping up and down looking at his cellphone.

Jin, Akanishi, Jin was the second friend I ever made in my life. He had such radiant and bright smile that was comparable to the sun. But I still loved Kazuya’s smile the most. It wasn’t as glowing as Jin’s, Kazuya’s smile was weak but genuinely nice. His smile lighted up my whole world. Ever since I left Tokyo that day, my world has been dark and gloomy.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-The.Pinky.Ring=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Authors Note: After 2 long years I have returned and finally found time to finish the story. I got lots of chapters done so I will be editing and posting them soon. Happy reading and please read, comment, and spread the word

Apologize

chibikaede — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 07:47:57 GMT

My writers block is really no excuse for anything right now.

I have been away from this account and even a website for more than a year. I don't want to say it's because I've lost interest in writing. I truly love writing and finding the true expression I want to say. But throughout university I've been just too busy to care about KAT-TUN. But with the sudden news about akanishi jins departure from the group has given me a big blow.

I have re- read my stories over again and has begum drafting out bother 'The Bittersweet Times' and 'The Pinky Ring'

Hope the old readers will come back and read my story again and to bring new readers in.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

[Fic]The Bittersweet Times

chibikaede — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 21:06:41 GMT

Chapter o5

---Jin’s Point of view---

‘My cheek hurts.

I hope she won’t punch me in the face again.

I think I should just run…’

“Kyoko, I’m coming in.”

I said as I turned the doorknob slowly and entered the room. It was completely pitched black, and I didn’t know where the light switch, so I didn’t even try finding it. When my eyes finally were adjusted to the dark I managed to see a figure sitting near the window sill. I walked closer and closer to hear my heart thumping harder and harder. ‘I wonder if she’s going to punch me again if I get too close to her.’ I walked right next to her and called out her name again, she didn’t even flinch nor blink, she just continued to look out the window. I coughed and said her name louder this time hoping she would hear me, but no reply again. So I stood there and waited. After a while her lips opened.

“She used to be so happy. When her family objected her to be with him she didn’t care. She always told me that for love, she was willing to do anything. She even sacrificed her family relationship to be with him. She was the bravest girl in the world. When all three of us were in business class together in university we use to cause trouble all the time by randomly bursting out into laughter’s during lectures to the point we all got kicked out. She was in love, he was everything to her and I supported the relationship everyway I could. If she was happy, I was happy.”

I stood there silently listening to her talk, but when she stopped talking, she let out a small smile recalling the fun times.

“And then?”

“And then everything started crumbling apart, he betrayed her. When his family came over his parents were furious and hated Hitomi. Hitomi refused to talk about her family background and lied she was an orphan and didn’t have any money at all. His family thought she was just after him for the money. I wonder if he even stood up for her. There was no news of him for weeks. He wasn’t in class, he wasn’t in his dorm, and it was like he just disappeared from our lives. By than I was already worried about Hitomi. But each day she continued to smile and went to class and did her daily routine. Hitomi never once doubted him and always believed and did what he said. She continued to work at the Guess clothing store to save up her money and pay for her tuition. Even though I told her I could help pay she kindly refused, that was always Hitomi’s way of doing things. She only wanted me to stay by her side and cheer her on. After a good two months he just reappeared when he wanted to.”

She stopped once again and she used her hand to brush something away from her eyes.

‘I’m guessing she’s crying.’

“It’s alright; you don’t have to talk about it anymore. It’s not your problem; those two have to solve it themselves.”

She shook her head and she continued on.

“He never told her anything or why he even disappeared he simply said that he had business to take care of. Hitomi believed him and went along. I on the other hand didn’t believe it and I asked some friends to investigate his disappearance. Couple days later he proposed to her and of course Hitomi accepted the proposal but she was still worried. Hitomi asked him about his family members he just told her not to worry about it. Hitomi stupidly once again believed in him. The next day he disappeared on us again. This time for a good 3 months and I finally got fed up and found his address and dragged Hitomi into their house. That’s when we heard him talk to his parents that he never had the intention of marrying Hitomi. I clearly remember him saying ‘Don’t worry; I’ll break up with her soon as possible.’ By than Hitomi was crying like a fool and her parents opened the door and saw the both of us standing there. I remember seeing his face looking at Hitomi and not saying a word he than just told us to leave. To me that said everything, everything had been a lie…. We were both fooled…”

I stared at Kyoko crying and sobbing as she chocked out their story about the past. It was the first time I saw Kyoko so vulnerable. Without hesitation and without thinking properly I pulled her into my arms. That instant I had completely forgot about my feelings towards Hitomi and just embraced Kyoko. I was surprised Kyoko returned the hug and sobbed in my arms and stained my shirt with her tears. I patted her back and hushed into her ear. She gently broke away from me and looked into my eyes; I quickly put my index finger onto her lips and hushed her further for silence.

“Let’s stop. Tell me the story another day. You had enough shock for one day.” I said while I pulled her into another embrace and she nodded in my arms. I gently stroked her hair and I felt her arms tighten around me. I was now having a hard time to breathe but I tried my best not to ruin the moment. We stood there who knows how long. When we finally let go I inhaled for air. She chuckled a bit and brushed the last of her tears with her shirt. We stood only just inches apart.

“Jin, can I ask you a question? But you have to be really honest with me.”

I nodded

“Do you really love Hitomi?”

“If I really have to be honest with you, I don’t know. The first time I met her was actually in the convenient store and I remembered she took the last of my favorite avocado sandwich. But I didn’t say anything. Then, I randomly saw her in the club the same night and she just sat there drinking vodka the whole night. Then the next day I saw her at the convenient store again, she was really happy and generous saying good morning to the cash register and saying have a good day when she left. She helped an old lady cross the road, and helped a lost child find her mother. However, at night she’d be alone at the club and just drink. Lots of guys went up to her and asked her to dance and stuff but she bluntly brushed them off. Honestly, I just want to get to know her more, I think I’m just really showing sympathy to towards her right now.”

“Than I’ll do everything in my power to get you two together, she’s suffering right now. I only trust you now. I’ll never trust that bastard downstairs again. Promise me you’ll get to know Hitomi. Promise me you’ll fall in love with her.” She pleaded me.

“I’ll try. But, please don’t talk to Kame like that. He’s still my friend; at least I think he is. I don’t want to trouble the rest of my friends to think we aren’t friends anymore. I’ll protect Hitomi. I promise.” I squeezed her shoulders gently to reassure her. But silently I thought to myself. ‘I promise I’ll protect you too.’

“It’s late, try to get some sleep. We can talk with each other everyday.” I said to her and lead her to the bed. I watched as she lay down on the bed. “I’ll go get your blanket from downstairs, wait for me okay.” I heard her mumble some words but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. I chuckled to myself as I walked down the stairs. I soon stopped in my tracks when I saw Hitomi sleeping in Kame’s arms. ‘What the heck? Did they make up already? Or did Kame drug her or something?’ I cleared my throat to make sure Kame heard me entering the living room. Thankfully he did, and he turned his head around and looked me in the eyes for only a spilt second.

“Hey.” He said while his eyes never left Hitomi. He sniffled a bit while at the same time trying to clear his throat.

“Small world isn’t it. To think you two use to go out. I still remember I bugged you like crazy wanting to know who the girl was and you never told me because you said I’d simply just get jealous.” I walked into the living room and picked up Kyoko’s white and baby blue blanket and tossed it over my shoulder.

“When did you meet her?”

“I noticed her a while ago, since we live in the same neighborhood. But officially? Couple days ago only. We had quite an interesting conversation.”

I saw Kame cock one of his eyebrows up and finally looked at me.

“Are you in love with her?”

“What if I said yes? It’s exactly like you said; if I knew more about her I would have been jealous.” I pushed my button.

“Than I’m sorry to say this Jin, I’ll do everything I can to get her back. It was all a misunderstanding. Plus, I’ve known her way longer than you, it’ll be easy to have her by my side once again.”

“Sadly she still hates you to guts. Scars are never faded just like the betrayal you’ve done to her. I think I have more potential in protecting her.”

Kame looked at me seriously and emotionlessly.

“Sorry Kazuya. But I hope you remember what we agreed upon. When it comes to love until the girl is married to one of us, we are allowed to do anything within our powers to get the girl into our arms even if it means to take away each others girl.”

“Of course I remember.” He stated.

“Than, if you’ll excuse me, I have a blanket to deliver.”

With that I walked up the stairs and knocked on Kyoko’s door before entering. She sat up when she saw me enter the room. She opened the light lamp on her night desk next to her. It was a small dim orange light just bright enough to allow myself see her angelic face.

“Haven’t sleep yet?”

She shook her head.

“It was cold, can’t sleep without a blanket or something covering my body.”

She answered as she opened her arms wanting the blanket on my shoulder. I threw it into the air and she caught it and lay down. I walked next to the bed and pulled up the chair near her desk. She looked at me while I looked at her.

“Give me your hand.”

She placed it against hers and measured my fingers.

“Your hands are so big, look their almost two joint bigger than mine.”

She said quietly. I looked at her as she examined my hand. Her voice was so soft and quiet, almost so memorizing. She looked so innocent and like a little child under those covers. For some strange reason I felt my heart race faster and faster, I quickly pulled away my hand. She was kind of startled and looked up into my eyes. She had the word confusion written all over her face. I smiled at her and pulled the blanket closer to her.

“Get some sleep. It’s late. I’ll go clean up the mess downstairs.”

She nodded and obediently closed her eyes and snuggled into her bed for the night. I quietly closed the lamp and walked out of her room and closed the door behind me and I lay against it.

Was Kame crying before? His voice sound a little cracked not to mention the red eyes. Also…..what was that feeling before? The sudden rush and jolt felt in my heart when Kyoko’s hand and my hand touched, a small heart attack? Akanishi Jin, get a hold of yourself. I have to get Hitomi into my arms instead of Kamenashi’s before Kame makes his move. Argh… what am I going to do?

</div>

[Fic]The Bittersweet Times

chibikaede — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 21:00:39 GMT

Chapter o4

“Long time no see,

Did you miss me?

I really need to talk to you.”

Speeding through the highway and simultaneously trying not to allow my tears overwhelm my feelings and blur my vision while driving, I stepped on the gas pedal down further wanting to go home as fast as I could, causing myself to press my back against the seat as I drove. The sensation of speeding was just like how my mind was going through this instant. Hundreds of problems sped through my head, hundreds of questions I want to ask, and hundreds more words I wanted to scream out. It wasn’t until Jin touched my hand zapping me back into reality, I immediately let go of the gas pedal and continued to drive forward. I looked into the rear mirror, Kame sitting there so quietly looking out the window. Thinking ironically just this morning I told Kyoko I would never see him, and here he was sitting in my car.

“Kame, you have a place to stay tonight?” asked Jin turning his head around looking at Kame face to face.

“I was thinking of staying at the share house tonight. I’ll be looking for an apartment as soon as possible.” He replied.

“Oh, alright. We did leave the extra room the way you left it.”

“Everyone still lives together?” He questioned.

“Yeah, of course, it’s impossible for us to separate at least for me. But you sure did a heck of a good job” Jin answered.

“It couldn’t be helped. But I am back now. Don’t be like that Jin. Are you still mad that I didn’t tell you my whole life story while I was in L.A? I’m not even mad at you that you promised to come visit me last year but you phoned me last minute saying that you had to miss the plane. What was that all about?” He retorted back at Jin.

Damn it. Why are they talking so casually in front of me as if I don’t exist or something? I’ll throw them both out of my car and they can walk back to Tokyo for all I care.

With the corner of my eye I looked at Jin, he had his head leaned back, eyes closed, and chest slowly moving up and down. Don’t fall asleep now, oh my gods, Akanishi wake up. After a painful one hour ride back to Tokyo I opened the door to my apartment. I was immediately greeted by Kyoko’s hug. When Kyoko wanted to let go I gripped the back of her shirt tighter and dug my head deeper into her shoulder, she than patted my back and asked what was wrong. Trailing behind was Jin, before Kyoko could open her mouth to scold Jin, she saw a familiar figure and she whispered oh my god to herself.

She instantly leaped towards Kame and gripped his shirt and pushed him against the wall. A loud thump echoed throughout the whole room. She let out a low growl and sneered at Kame.

“How dare you show up in front of my face and especially Hitomi’s after all you’ve done. You still even have face to show yourself to us?” She hollered at Kame.

Jin tried to grab Kyoko away from Kame but she held on to him even tighter. While this was going on one by one all the guys started to wake up, Junno walking towards us rubbing his eyes and asked what was all the commotion about. He than saw Kame and his eyes lit up and than horrified.

“Mou….Kyoko-chan let go of my friend. What are you doing?”

Now Junno was helping Jin trying to get Kyoko off Kame. All this time Kame turned his head away from Kyoko and looked like he didn’t care at all that he was pinned against the wall.

“I still see that you’re still as violent as ever. Is this always your way solving problems? No wonder you got dumped the other time too. Not to mention I heard from the other party it was all a misunderstanding. Just like you now, jumping into conclusions and didn’t even allow myself to speak. No wonder no guys like you or break up with you so quickly. How pitiful.” Kame said flatly.

This caused Kyoko to rage even more and raised her hand into a fist and punched Kame in the face. A small trail of blood trickled down the corner of his lip. Kame wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb and stared down Kyoko. Kyoko angrily brushed off Jin and Junno and before she ran upstairs into her room she also gave Jin a punch in the face. A slam could be heard all the way downstairs. Everyone except Kame and I frowned. The cold tension could be felt by everyone. Koki, Junno, and Ueda excused themselves to go home. As they passed Kame and Jin they all touched both of their buddy’s shoulders and I could hear Koki whisper into Jin’s ears try not to fight and Jin simply nodded in response.

Jin put both hands on my shoulder and tried to lead me to the couch. My foot was still rooted to the ground. Jin finally pushed me hard enough causing me to almost fall and that was when I slowly started to walk to the couch. Kame soon followed suit.

“Well this is surprising greeting from everyone. I didn’t know you guys knew each other. But Kazuya did tell me he had a girlfriend but things went wrong and the girlfriend ran away. I wouldn’t think it would be you, Hitomi.” Jin started off the conversation.

Kame and I were still silent. Both of just looked at each other. Jin waved his hands in front of our faces but we ignored the wave and continued our staring. Jin finally let out a sigh figuring he was just the middle man right now, so he excused himself.

“I’ll go talk to Kyoko.” With that he walked up the stairs.

Right after Jin left, Kame stood up and sat next to me and placed both hands into mine. I tried to pull them away but he gripped them tighter. I looked into his hazel brown orbed eyes. Those were the pair of eyes that I fell in love with so deeply. He frowned a bit and stared into my eyes also as if he was trying to find an answer to all his lost questions.

“Hitomi-chan, please listen to what I have to say. These two years must have been hard for you and it has been for me as well.”

“Yeah right, stop lying Kame. I heard you clearly that night. You told your mother you didn’t want to marry me, you didn’t want to be with me, and you didn’t love me at all. There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t want to live in the past anymore. Yes these past two years was hard, I had to endure a lot of pain, I finally straighten out my life, please don’t interfere into my life anymore. You live your life and please allow me to live mine. You’ve hurt me once and the scar is deep enough to last a life time therefore, please don’t come any closer to me anymore.”

“Why are you jumping into conclusions? You use to be not like this Hitomi. You always respected everyone and listened to both sides of the story, why can’t you allow me to explain my side of the story? You don’t even know what happened that night, you didn’t stay right after I said those words did you? If you stayed two minutes longer you would have known I was innocent. When I tried to call you the next day you disappeared. All your belongings were still here except your suitcase some clothes, your wallet, and your passport. You just left a note saying ‘I won’t marry you anymore’ and left your engagement ring on the coffee table. I looked everywhere for you. I even phoned your family and even they didn’t know where you were. Do you know they are still currently blaming me for your disappearance?”

“Please stop talking about this. Why explain and try to redeem yourself. It wasn’t just a one nighter’s thing alright? The nights were you’ve ignored my calls. The nights were you randomly yelled at me. The random nights were you abruptly wanted to call off the wedding, I could feel that even if we continued to stay together we would have spilt off eventually. Sooner the better was all I thought, I didn’t want to love you too deep and eventually have everything come falling apart.”

Tears were now falling from my face one after another. I mouth trembled as I looked into his eyes. All the memories were flowing back into my head like a movie without sound. I felt my body starting to feel numb and starting to lose sense of reality. My hands were still in between his. I just felt like crying until all my tears dried up, I was tired of all the countless days and nights where I’ve cried for him, and than slowly trying so hard to forget about him. Promising myself to be strong if I ever see him again, to show him I would do well in life without him. But now he’s in front of me, I dare not say I love him, I felt so disappointed in myself. The years where I trained myself to cut off emotions with love, and this was the result my hands in his, crying like a weakling.

“Please stop, Kazuya….. If you love me, let me go.” I chocked out. All the emotions and memories locked up inside my head were retriggering. As I continued to look into his eyes. The love, the memories, the passion, the friendliness, the commitment, and my one and only true love were all given to him.

He brushed the teardrops slowly away with his thumb and whispered, “Don’t cry, and remember whenever you cried I’ve always cried along with you. I’ve never forgot our promise when you cried, I’ll always catch your teardrop.” He leaned in and kissed away my flowing tears. I didn’t move away, if I said I didn’t miss his kisses than it would have been a horrible lie. To say that I wanted to be kissed by him again would be another horrible lie. Why can he sway my mind so easily? I slowly closed my eyes.

My eyes feel so heavy; I can’t keep them open any longer. Is he hugging me? No, I…I have to break free. My body isn’t listening to my brain. He still feels so warm and his heart beat always puts me to sleep since I always felt so safe in his arms. Kamenashi Kazuya? He was my lover, yes, was. Can I forgive him? No. Can I love him once again like I once did? No.

Kame wrapped his arms around Hitomi and embraced her wishing the moment would never end. He knew tonight was the night where she felt the must vulnerable, weak, shocked, and lost. The feeling and pain he never wished her to ever face, but here he was triggering all the emotions.

“I’m sorry, please just forgive me. If I could turn back time and undo the wrong’s I would. But I can’t, Hitomi, at least allow me to show that my love never changed. I still love you.”

Kame sniffled as he whispered and chocked out those words. Those were the words he wanted to tell her. He slowly bent down and kissed her on the forehead and than down to her cheeks and trailed down further just before reaching her lips he stopped. Locked in this position he looked down at her face while tears came down uncontrollably.

</div>

[Fic] The Bittersweet Times [03 Prt1]

chibikaede — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:04:48 GMT

Chapter o3

Part 1

‘Was it a dream?

Did he really phone me?

What am I going to do now?’

As I slowly open my heavy eyelids and trying to regain conscious, it felt like I’ve slept for a hundred years. I looked around my surrounding and realized I was in my room already. I flipped off my bed covers and slipped into my white fuzzy slippers and walked towards the mirror. Looking back at the reflection of myself, hair all tangled, having dark visible circles under my eyes. I looked like a living breathing zombie. Even I was startled at my own appearance. ‘I need a real proper vacation.’ I thought to myself as I entered the bathroom. I quickly splashed water onto my face trying to refresh myself. I straightened my hair and walked down stairs.

Kyoko turned around as she heard me walking down the steps, she than quickly ran towards me putting her hand over my shoulder as she led me to the couch. Jin looked at me while silently drinking his can of coffee. Kyoko felt our eyes looking at each other and quickly said.

“He’s only really worried about you. He even helped me carried you into your room. He said he’d go home after you woke up. Also, why didn’t you tell me that you guys met at the club the other night? You lied to me that you guys didn’t know each other.”

I gave a quick smile to Kyoko, “I didn’t think he was important enough to tell you. Besides, we’ve only met once and I barely know the guy. Almost 99.9999% sure that I don’t know him so I might as well say I don’t know him rather than knowing him right?”

Kyoko chuckled and ruffled my hair. I gasped and hit her arms and complained to her. I had just straightened my hair perfectly. From the corner of my eyes I could see Jin chuckling at the sight. I gave him a cold glare. Kyoko saw the glare and hit my arm back in return. She was now scolding me and how I was a horrible friend for lying to her and how I was giving Jin the cold treatment. After half an hour Jin finally excused himself and left my apartment. Kyoko than turned me towards me, both hands on my shoulder and gave me the serious look.

“Hitomi, Jin and I had a conversation together. We chatted for a while about our backgrounds and other stuff. He asked a lot of questions about you. I think he’s really interested in you. I even heard that you turned him down. Why’d you do that? He’s good looking, good personality, caring, and it looks like he’s really serious about you.”

I frowned at Kyoko and I quickly brushed her arms off my shoulder. I pleaded her that I didn’t want to talk about him. But she kept on insisting me that he was a good man. I could feel my temper boil up even more now. I had enough of him. I hated the name Jin more than ever.

“Kyoko, I don’t like him.” I brusted out. I know absolutely nothing about him. How can I possibly love someone that I know so vaguely of? Also, did you know the night at the club, he sounded like he was totally flirting with me. He even knows that I go to the club often, he sounds like a total stalker and I’m just one of his victims right now. Why don’t you date him than, if you think he’s so boyfriend quality? Kyoko, you’re my best friend, you are the only person in this whole world I trust. You can’t betray me okay? You always have to agree with me do you understand?”

“Hitomi, listen to yourself. Yes of course I know that I’m your best friend. I also know I’m the only person you trust and can rely on. But this is why I’m doing this for you. You’re living in the past too much. You linger in your own horrid memories of that horrible man. Snap out of it Hitomi. It’s over; it’s been 2 years since you guys spilt up. You need to move on what if one day you guys see each other on the streets? When you see him neatly dressed and a smile on his face maybe even hand in hand with another girl while you are standing there alone with a sad expression on your face than you would be holding a white flag in total defeat. At least give him a chance, start off as a friend, and don’t brush him off. Please?”

I sighed in disbelief and combed through my hair with my hand. I scoffed a bit and looked at Kyoko. Neither of us was going to give up but I knew that I needed her more than ever right now. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them I gave Kyoko a quick hug.

“I’m never going to see that man in

Tokyo ever again, besides he’s all the way in L.A now anyways.” Not it was my turn to put my hands on her shoulders and we looked at each other in the eyes and I smiled and said, “I can’t believe I always end up going your way. You’re even living in my apartment right now. Sounds like you are the superior one here. But fine, I promise I’ll try to give him a chance. I’ll at least try to be his friend.”

With that we both laughed and I helped Kyoko with her luggage up the stairs and into the guest room. I had a total of 4 bedrooms including mine, the master bedroom. Truthfully the apartment was way too big for me to live alone. It was also such a hassle to keep it tidy all the time. It was great to have another accompany in the house. Even I was missing the lively hood I once had.

The next day I woke up and ruffled my hair as I walked down the stairs I could already smell coffee and bacon already made. Kyoko saw me in my short shorts and white hoodie over my head, she bursted out laughing and spat out her coffee that she was drinking. I covered my face with both my hand hoping the coffee didn’t land all over me. I gasped and ran over to her and tickled her. We were both on the dining floor room rolling around starting a tickle war until I lifted my head up and sniffed the air.

“Is something burning?”

“Oh my God! My bacons!”

She stood up and quickly ran over to the stove and lifted up a piece of bacon with a pair of chopsticks. It was all dried, black, and shriveled up. She closed the element and holding the bacon and using her other hand pinching her nose. We ended up walking to convenient store and bought some onigiri’s to eat.

=================================

“I’m bored, the Wii fitness it made my body all sore.” Said Kyoko as she laid on the carpet both arms and legs stretched out and started moving them up and down as if she was making a snow angel.

“Hmmmm…....” I replied.

“Let’s call the guys over.”

“No.”

“Let’s call the guys over.”

“No.”

“Lets….”

“No” I said once again cutting her off.

“Mou…..lets just call the guys over. I’m really bored.”

“It’s not like you know their numbers.”

“Me and Jin exchanged numbers” she said chuckling evilly as she waved her cellphone. She sat up straight with legs crossed and was looking through her address book. When she found it she quickly pressed call and lifted the cellphone up to her ears. Her eyes glistened and mouthed to me ‘he picked up.’ After 5 minutes later she hanged up and gave smiled very dorkishly at me. “30 minutes and they’ll all be over.”

When everyone except Maru came over and everyone crowded around in the living room. Koki was holding 3 bags of junk food and Junno held a case of beer and a bottle of vodka. Both of them put them in the table in the middle of the living room. Ueda waved a deck of cards in the air and smiled. Kyoko questioned what card game we were going to play and Ueda replied ‘a very memorable one.’ Jin was behind the rest of the group when the rest sat down Ueda taking the one seater sofa, Junno and Koki took the 2 seater one. Kyoko and I were already snuggled next to each other on the 3 seater one. Jin was still standing in the middle of my living room trying to figure out where he should sit. Kyoko laughed and hit my butt and moved to the opposite end of the seat and patted the middle space just created and motioned Jin to sit there. When he sat down he put a hand over his mouth and coughed as if he was trying to clear his voice. I rolled my eyes.

“Why so shy all of the sudden Akanishi-san. Everything be okay, us ladies won’t bite yeah.”

He simply nodded and looked at me; I looked at him and threw a pillow closet to me. Ueda got up from his seat and said, “Let’s play Kings Game. Does everyone know how to play?”

All the guys nodded except Kyoko and I than Koki quickly stood up next to Ueda and tried to explain the rules of the game.

“Since there are only 6 of us than we would have cards from one to five and one card will be King. Than the card is shuffled and we each pick a card but no one tell each other what the number is, keep it to yourself. Whoever is King can command two numbers to do something. For example, if I was King I must say what the two must do before saying the card. Like, I would say ‘they have to piggy back each other around the house. And the two numbers are four and two.’ Than whoever is two and four will have to do the dare. If not they will have to drink a shot of pure vodka. We’re all above 20 here right? So you ladies want to play?”

Authors Note: Since the length of chapter 3 was drastically long, when i tried posting everything all in one post the LJ-Cut refused to work causing my lj being super long. So i decided to split it up into two parts. Everyone now is currently reading Part 1. So be sure to read part 2 Here

[ONE SHOT] The Reassurance Pt2

chibikaede — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:53:47 GMT

Author: ChibiKaede
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Summary: After the first year the emails lessened the phone never rang once again from him. I was sure that he had forgotten about him. With that, I knew that I had to move on without him.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but plot.
A/N: This is a continuation of my first one-shot. I hope everyone can enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing this fic.

When was the last time I saw his face so clearly? What I had was only the left memories of us together. I was scared what he would be like once he came back, I’m so scared that he’ll change a lot that he’ll no longer remember me. That’s why I said to myself all this time, memories are the best, because they don’t change and they last forever. Once he left was a good two years, recently he was supposed to come back, but he never did. We even waited at the airport two hours after the arrival time, but he never showed up through the gates. When he first left we kept on contact everyday, whether it was by email or phone the distant didn’t feel so far between us as long as I could hear his voice and read his emails. But slowly and gradually the emails got lessen and lessen, the phone never rang again after the first year had passed. There was no news about him, my heart slowly fell into pieces. I simply told myself that, he had forgotten about me, and he was moving on with his life, and I should be too. Sadly, all this time I couldn’t move on, gradually the hurt and pain turned to hatred and anger. He left me in this state I am in now. I wondered if he did this on purpose, to tell me the day he left, the day he confessed, and the day we kissed was all a misunderstanding, there was nothing between us anymore. That’s why the affection between us left and slowly disappeared. Two years, four months and fourteen days he left me here all alone. With that, I sighed to myself. I simply said to myself.

“Akanishi Jin, this is the last night I’ll cry and wait for you.”

True to my words, it was the last night I shed tears for him. The next day I woke up I pretended that I had move on, but did you always know that I loved you? I drowned myself into endless hours of work. To never allow my emotions surface onto my mind and I could never express it. I had to keep working and working just to allow myself to forget about you for a single second. The endless amount of magazine shoots, week after week, variety shows that I had to be on air for. I was on the top of the game. ‘Jin, are you proud of me now?’

‘Jin, everyone here is doing very well. But we all miss you. Koki wants to out and eat with you when you come back, so please come back soon. Junno said he’ll never get mad again when you beat him in video games, he’s pleading you to come back. He even said he’ll stop making cold jokes just for you. Ueda said that he’ll give you more private lessons in guitar, so please come back soon and learn from Ueda-sensei. Nakamaru simply said “KAT-TUN is not the same without you. The 5 of us are waiting upon your return.” And I? I’m doing well. I hope you are too.’

I read the letter over and over again that I was supposed to send to him last week. I sent him mails every two weeks, but I was late this time. This time, I didn’t want to send it to him. I crumbled the paper and threw it in the garbage can. He never replied back anyways, so what was the point. He probably even gave me the wrong address so he never had to read it. I sat by the window looking out into the night, the stars were shining so brightly the moon was out giving the city a small crescent shine. I laid my head against the window lost in my own train of thoughts. The Cartoon KAT-TUN concert tour was going to start soon. I would be busy for the whole month travelling around Japan with my other group members. Singing and dancing for my fans, something I enjoyed doing so much, yet why am I not enjoying it? The last concert and our first concert was amazing. The way we stood in Tokyo Dome making memories of the six of us together. Right, the six of us. This time Jin wasn’t going to be here with us. He probably wanted to leave KAT-TUN for good. I slowly closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself down. I walked over to the couch and laid there. I slowly drifted to sleep, without conscious a single teardrop escaped from my eyelid. Once again, I had lied to myself. I broke my own promise ‘I was never going to cry for you again.’

“Thank you Kyoto! KAT-TUN will soon come back and visit everyone again. Today, thank you for coming. Domo arigatou gozaimashita!”

With that the 5 of us linked hands and gave our Kyoto fans the deepest bow. With that we walked down the stage and the concert had ended then. We had finished the second last concert of the tour. The last one was going to be in Tokyo Dome I told myself over and over again the tour is going to be over soon, I had done so much without him already, just one last show, I could do it, and KAT-TUN could do it. With the last concert everything we had together was going to be given up right there and then. I reassured myself over and over again it was better for the both of us.

“1, 2, 3 KAT-TUN FOREVER, Lets give the audience everything we got. Let’s be safe and have fun. 1, 2, 3 BREAK!” Koki shouted

“Sayonara.” I said quietly to myself as I walked onto the stage.

As the concert went on, all the memoires of us appeared into my head as I sang each song. With each memories passing by, I slowly bid goodbye to each of them of them. We’ve known each there for almost 13 years. 2 years gone by with total mysteries between us. The other 10 years not one day didn’t go by with the both of us seeing each other. Where did we go wrong? As the last of our memories were just about to be thrown away by me I heard a familiar voice.

“Hey Everybody!”

It was a voice that I longed to hear for over two years. Sure enough, the familiar person walked onto the stage. His hair looked untidy and all over the place, was wearing one of our concert t-shirt and a normal pair of jeans holding a microphone as he walked closer and closer to me. The fans went crazy; it was the climax of our concert. I stood there and my microphone dropped onto the floor. I stared at the man in front of me, eyes widen, body frozen, lips slightly parted, and was in disbelief. He bent down and picked up the microphone and held out my hand and placed it back and closed my hand and looked at me in the face and smiled. Other members were now walking towards me. Jin looked out into the crowd and said some greeting words. The fans went wild, of course they would, two years no news about their idol and now all of sudden back to Japan, in Tokyo, in a concert, it was a concert worth going too. The music stopped the juniors went back stage and it was just us, the 6 of us reunited once again.

“Etto, everyone sorry for the long wait, I know it was very selfish of me not leaving any news behind and been off on my own for a great two long years. However, now I’m back being the same old Akanishi Jin, just bring back more talents onto the stage and more songs for everyone to join. Akanishi will always be everyone’s Bakanishi so please I hope everyone can forgive me and hope everyone still supports me and KAT-TUN forever.”

The fans screamed and screamed accepting his apologize and chanted his name non-stop. He laughed and waved towards the crowds all 360 degrees and bowing at the same time. Everyone was happy, all the KAT-TUN members were happy, why I wasn’t able to even put on a fake smile like I had all this time. Just when I finally had to prove to him I was fine without him all this time that I had moved on ever since he left and there was nothing between us. Yet, I was standing here looking like a fool.

When the concert was over Ueda had suggested a get together at his house, however I excused myself from the party. I wasn’t ready to face him yet. I was confused more than ever; I was so sure that everything was fine between us. Jin offered to drive me home, I rejected his hand and left the dome by myself. I needed time for myself to retrace my steps and walk towards the right path and make sure to never get hurt again. As I arrived home I belly flopped onto the couch and laid there until I had lost track of time. I was too wrapped up into my own thoughts once again. I replayed what happened at the concert, everything happened so fast the way he walked onto the stage the way he smiled, the way he picked up the microphone, even the way he smiled and talked to the fans as if he never left at all.

-Ding Dong-

-Rolls around-

-Ding dong ding dong ding dong-

-Rolls around, falls off the couch-

-DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG-

“Whoever this is, ringing my bloody doorbell early this morning is going to get it from me.” I muttered under my breath while dragging my feet as fast as I could to the door. As I opened the door slowly he appeared in front of my face once again. He had such a cheerful smile, felt like rays were coming out of his teeth or something. I gave him a weak smile and opened the door further suggesting him to come in. We walked into the living room he looked around and saw my bag that I had carried last night, jacket on the couch it was evident that I slept on the couch last night. I rubbed the back of my neck going through a nervous break down.

“Kame…”

“I’ll go get us something to drink; you want beer, tea, or water?”

He didn’t reply he sat on the couch fingers entwined together leaning forward his arms resting on his knees. He looked straight ahead it looked like he was thinking about something important. I came back with two glass cups of water and set it on the table and sat down across from him. I sat there looking at him, we didn’t speak for at least a good five minutes, and my hands were on my knee’s gripping my jeans tightly. Finally he spoke.

“How have you been Kame? You look like you’re worried about something, do you want to share it with me?”

“No” I mumbled and grabbed for the cup of water on the table and drank it hesitantly. His eyes never left mine. He chuckled a bit which caused me to choke on my water slightly. I quickly set the cup down and looked down onto the floor. I could still feel the heavy pairs of eyes looking at me. He stood up and sat down next to me, I quickly stood up and he followed suit. He stood up and grabbed me and turned me towards him and slammed me into his chest arms around my waist not letting go. I tried to push him away from me, but he was too strong. I hated him for making me feel like this, I wanted to give up on him long ago, but now being in his arms was what I longed for, however tears were coming down my cheeks uncontrollably. As we parted he looked into my eyes and leaned forward to kiss my tears away. I stood there like a lost child confused and in despair.

“I’m sorry Kazuya for leaving you like this. You must have been so lonely weren’t you? Poor Kazuya all alone with no one to care. Kazuya, I didn’t leave you a message because during this period of time I was sick really sick. I spent almost the other half of the year in the hospital bed. When I finally gotten better I came back as fast as I could. I’m really sorry Kazuya, I really am.”

Akanishi Jin was now in tears too looking at me with pleading eyes. He bit the bottom of his lip. His eyes were begging for forgiveness. Indeed he looks like he got out of the hospital bed. His face was so skinny now, the bags under his eyes were so visible now he was looking like a lost child lost and in despair. And here I hated him for leaving me all this time. Not understanding the situation and thought that he had forgotten about me all this time, where he was the one that needed help and support. I wanted to give him all the reassurance that he needed, I never wanted him to shed another tear. Never again to look at me with so much sadness, it was too much to bear. I knew what it was like waiting for each others return, waiting for each others forgiveness. Now it was my turn to pull him into my embrace and gave him a hug. When we finally parted I reached and held both of his hands in front of us and smiled.

“Okari my Bakanishi.”

“Tadaima.” he said softly.

With that we pulled into another embrace, this time both of us knew our love would never be separated once again. We didn’t need a hug or to say the three words to know that we truly loved each other because each others presence was already enough.

</div>

[Fic]The Bittersweet Times

chibikaede — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 04:33:48 GMT

Chapter o2

“God damn, I’m still hearing things.”
*Ring, Ring, Ring*
“Aw, sh*t it’s my cellphone.”

As I forced myself out of the white coach that I had crashed out on last night. I was now frantically trying to find my cellphone. I fumbled through my purse, and even tried looking under the table and the couch, and when finally found it under the carpet the ringing had stopped and the caller had hanged up. I frowned as I stood up flipping my cellphone open.

-28 missed calls- and it was all from my best friend, Kyoko.

And then, it hit me, like a shinkansen just went through my head. I cursed a million times under my breath and started to pace around my living room. I pondered for a few minutes before hitting the call button to Kyoko. She picked up on the third ring, unlike me, missing 28 calls. I greeted her. “Moshi, Mo-?”

“Yah. You stupid bitch,” she hollered. “I can’t believe you ditched me in the club last night, did you know I went to the bar table after I finished dancing and the stupid bartender told me you left like 2 hours ago? Where were you? I phoned you like a billion times but you never picked up. Did you forget that I was supposed to move into your place? I think you have Alzheimer’s or something. I’m at the guys placed that I danced with last night. Thank god one of his friends isn’t in town or else he wouldn’t have a spare room to lend me. Where are you now?”

While I was listening to Kyoko ramble about last night I had already walked to the currents and drew them open. The sudden rush of sunlight that gushed through the windows and lit the whole room. I put my free arm over my face trying to cover the light entering my face too fast.

“So, where are you right now? I’ll come pick you up.” I said as I walked to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water.

“Umm... I’m near Shibuya, it’s a couple of streets down I think. Not too far from the club we went to last night. He and his buddies live together; we were just thinking about us all going to eat lunch together. You got work today?” Kyoko questioned.

“No, I don’t have work today, I thought I told you already that I took the whole month off. After working there for seven years, the manager finally allowed me to have a long break, not to mention I’m still getting paid. So I guess I’ll tag along.”

I quickly took a quick shower to get rid of the stench of alcohol off myself and hastened to put on a put on plain white Armani t-shirt and wore a pair of skinny jeans. The style I always followed was simple and comfortable. As I quickly applied on lip gloss and wore my huge white sunglasses from Armani also, I swiftly grabbed the keys to my Mercedes car and climbed on. As I drove down the streets looking at the set nav trying to find the apartment that Kyoko had told me earlier on. It took me a good 10 minutes driving up and down the road trying to find the place before I saw Kyoko waving her arms outside a large white building. As I cut off the engine by taking out my car keys the car and as I climbed out of my seat I could see Kyoko running towards me with her arms waving everywhere. I smiled to myself thinking that she always had to make a fool out of herself, but she didn’t care, she was always not afraid to express her mind. She quickly stood beside me and hooked my arms into hers and quickly dragged me into the house, leaving me dragging my feet to keep up with her pace. She opened the door to the large house and screamed to acknowledge her entrance and quickly 4 guys came running towards us. She flashed a big smile showing her beautiful white teeth; while our arms were still hooked I stood beside her looking kind of confused and overwhelmed.

“This is my bestest friend Hitomi-chan. She’s 23, and single by the way minna-san.”

“Chotto…” I said quickly elbowing her in the ribs and giving them a weak smile.

I quickly took off my sunglasses and spoke, “Hajimemashite, Hitomi desu.” I ended my short introduction with a small nod.

The four men’s gave a small nod, and the tallest guy amongst the group motioned his arm telling us to come in. As I followed everyone down the hall I could see various types of objects lying around: Guitars, music stands, piano, music sheets, pillows, books, pens, pencils, and etc. As I thought to myself, ‘so this is what a guy apartment looks like. His was never this messy, it was always so clean and tidy, it always felt like no one lived there.’

We sat around a circular table I quickly moved my chair really close to Kyoko not wanting to sit too close to the other man. One of the guys with short blonde hair with the side all shaven off, wearing big framed black glasses, and black nail polish rubbed the temple of his neck and gave out a weak laughter. “I guess we can start with self introductions, so, my name is Koki Tanaka. 24 years old, I like to rap and write songs. I always change my hairstyle also, because I believe hairstyle is the most important feature of a person.”

“My name is Ueda Tatsuya, my hobby is boxing, and I always go to the gym and train myself to become a better boxer. I also love to watch manga and anime if I’m not at the gym in either at home playing the piano or in the swimming pool for further training.

“And we are the twins, Junno and Maru.” Said two guys, one had really short hair and the front looked like a 5 year old had cut it. The other one had slightly longer hair but was gelled all up giving making him look really handsome.

I was startled when they had such a loud introduction; I grabbed the edge of my seat when they screamed out their names.

“I’m Junno, and he’s Maru. We’re twins, I’m well known for being the idiot and childish one around here. I love to play video games and read manga. My all time favorite hobby is pool. I want to be a professional pool player one day. Not swimming pool but billiards. Do you know what they are? And my older brother there is Maru, he’s a doctor. He’s a heart surgeon to be exact. You can tell he’s such a nerd just by the way he acts, talks, dress, just look at his hair. Isn’t it very funny? I had such a good laugh when he came home one day with that hairstyle. And..and…” He was running out of breath because he was talking so fast non-stop without even taking breaks in between the lines. Maru had given a small smile at me once or twice whenever Junno mentioned his name, he didn’t even say a word.

“Well my name is Kyoko as you guys all know. 23, single. I just came back from Korea couple days ago from university. I love to party, so no wonder you guys all found me at the pub last night. Thanks for the awesome dance Junno and Koki.” She finished off with a wink leaving the two men blushing slightly yet smiling towards her. Right after Kyoko finishing her introduction I felt all eyes staring at me. I looked around and it was true, 6 pairs of eyes were staring at me and I could feel my face going slightly red.

“The name is Kaede Hitomi. 23 years old, I work at Armani Ex-change shop, the shop in Shibuya.” And with that, everyone ended up a clap. Right when I finished the introduction, I heard someone dragging their feet walking towards us. It was slow and the person was carrying his feet quite heavily. Junno passed a smile right pass me causing me to turn my head around slowly. My eyes nearly fell out of my eye socket when I was staring at the man in front of me. I was now in shock at the man standing in front of me. Hair all messy, sticking out from all over the place, yawning without using his hand to cover his mouth, one hand scratching the back of his head and the other scratching his back. He was wearing a sleeveless plain black hoodie with gray sweatpants. He let out another yawn before he spoke, “Oyaho.”

Junno laughed and replied “Ko-ni-chi-wa, Bakanishi. It’s noon already. We were waiting for you to wake up so we could all go eat lunch together.”

The ‘Bakanishi’ that Junno had just addressed him as slowly opening his eyes now looking more awake, stretched his hands out and shook his head slightly to give himself a final wake and then our eyes met. The room felt into a deep silence. All I could hear was the breathing of Kyoko beside me. Koki had quickly tried to break the silence telling ‘Bakanishi’ there was guest over, but neither I nor ‘Bakanishi’ replied, we continued to look at each other.

“Hitomi-chan, do you know this man?” She asked me with concern, slightly touching my arm. I smiled and simply shook my head no. Leaving the man still staring at me.

Three hours later, there were now 7 people, including myself standing inside my apartment. It was big enough for 7 people, but I just had to backtrack myself trying to remember how in the end after lunch everyone decided to go see the place where I lived. Right…. It was because it was all Kyoko’s idea. Wanting her new friends to know where she lived and get to ‘know her better.’ I went to open the sliding glass door allowing some fresh air into the living room. They all sat comfortably in the living room after a few minutes everyone was scattered everywhere. Junno, Koki, Tatsuya were too busy listening to Kyoko talk about her life in Korea. Maru had excused himself to the longest couch lying there trying to catch a nap. He said that he was going to work night shift tonight, and needed the sleep now. I on the other hand was outside the sundeck leaning against the railings allowing the fresh air blow through my hair. It felt so nice and refreshing. Soon I was interrupted.

“You own such a nice place. Did your daddy buy it for you?”

I jumped a little turning myself around seeing the man standing there nice and tall. I could finally see him clearly, he had such broad shoulders and nice toned arms. I rolled my eyes ignoring his question because I hated when people asked me about my background, especially my family members. I excused myself not wanting to engage in a conversation with him.. He swiftly grabbed a hold of my wrist and said, “Just wait, do you not remember me already? We met last night at the bar, we even danced together.”

“No I don’t remember.” I pretended not to know him, I could see him form a frown on his face, and I laughed quietly inside my head thinking he had bought my lie. But he held my wrist even tighter. With that, it was my turn to frown and I could see from the corner of my eye, a sly smile came upon his face. I felt disgusted.

“Don’t lie, I know you know.”

“So what if I know? Do you seriously think I’ll call you back and hey, you totally ditched me, how gentlemen of you.” I said sarcastically. I felt really annoyed at this point and I jerked away my wrist from his grasp. “I don’t like people like you, you sound like a player, and you look like a player, the way you talk. I bet this is how you get all the girls, pretending that you like commitment and willing to be with them forever. Well Akanishi-san let me say this again, I’m not your type. Please just pretend I’m air and don’t exist.” I snapped back at him. I took a step back so our eyes could meet. I gave him a cold stare, the coldest one I’ve got. He stared right back into my eyes and simply said.

“You’re just hurt and lingering in the past. I think I know more than you think, Hitomi-san.”

I was caught off guard right than and there. I eyed him carefully again trying to figure out if he was lying or not. He spotted my weakness and continued to play his game with me. “I bet he was your first love, you’re everything, you spent quite a few years together with him, and all of the sudden he broke up with you. Just when you thought you could finally live happily ever after with him, he had to break your heart and left you in this state you are in now. Cold, heartless, and discontent with all the men you see now. But rests assure you, I’m not him Hitomi-san. Let me prove to you I’m so much better than him. Please allow me be your boyfriend, I promise you, I will take you to our happily ever after world before it’s too late. I don’t expect an answer now. I’ll wait for your answer. Even if you say no, than we’ll start from the start, get to know each other. Starting from zero and let us make infinite memories together, I will make you fall in love with me.” And with that he turned around and left, sitting next to Junno pretending to laugh and know what the rest of his friends talking about.

I on the other hand was standing here rooted to the ground not knowing what just hit me.

‘I know more than you think Hitomi, I’m not him.’ Those words echoed into my heart a thousands times.

‘Before it’s too late? What did he mean by that?’

I was soon interrupted when my cellphone started to ring again; Kyoko ran towards me and nudged me slightly. I took the cellphone from her hands and slipped it next to my ears. “Hai?”

“It’s me.”

I dropped my phone onto the sun deck floor and the battery flew out of my phone. My hands started to tremble, my knees turning weak and my head was spinning 360 degrees all around. Thankfully Kyoko caught me before I fell to the ground.

“It’s me.” echoed through my heart a billion times.

Everyone besides Maru quickly rushed towards me because he was already fast asleep. They were all asking if I was okay, if I needed to lie down, or if needed water. However, I didn’t answer them, I was still shocked. Kyoko put her arms around me shook me slightly wanting a reply but I still didn’t answer her. I felt so possessed it felt like the voice sucked my soul to the caller and left me here with just my body. I was numb all over, I put my hands over my ears and shooked my head back and forth. I could feel Kyoko saying my name over and over again, but I didn’t want to reply. A quick drop of teardrop slipped between my eyes.

‘Hitomi, you baka, you promised yourself you wouldn’t cry for him.’ I felt more distant and distant from the world I stood in now. I was confused 2 minutes ago and now I’m lost with a million questions flowing through my head.

[ONE SHOT] The Reassurance

chibikaede — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 20:22:12 GMT

The Reassurance

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“What do we do Jin? Why are they writing stuff about us like this? Why can’t we hang out at each others house and eat restaurants together? We are humans, we have a social life as well, and you just happened to be my best friend. We helped each other on homework and you always helped me with vocal lessons and you’re even teaching me how to play guitar. It’s what friends do right?”

“Don’t worry about it. The journalists are just running out of ideas and articles to write. We know it’s not true. Of course we are friends, best friends. Don’t worry about it Kame, nothing can separate this friendship.”

Again, it was always Jin who reassured Kame whenever he was in a panic. The rays of his sunshine, the man always coming to his rescue, they were just like brothers. The following day, they set up a press conference to tell the story about their social life.

“We are just friends, like brothers, we look out for each other. Nothing more” said Kame smiling at Jin as dozens of pictures was being taken as he made this statement. Jin, silently sitting there having not answering any of the questions so far was looking extremely depressed. All of a sudden a journalist asked Jin a question.

“Do you feel the same way about this Akanishi-san?”

“Of course, we’re just friends.” It was Jin’s one and only statement throughout the whole press conference.

After a couple of weeks the gossip slowly was diminished and KAT-TUN continued to easily release successful singles. Jin one day went to a bar by himself after a photo shoot and was drinking away his life. There were too many secrets untold. Too many lies un-spoken, and he was living in denial and depressed. But he couldn’t show it in front of him, he could never show any sign of weakness, for his best friend, Kame had always looked up to him. He stumbled onto the streets and walked down the road. Hunched over and held on the wall next to him for support, he looked so pitiful. He didn’t care if any reporters had taken pictures of him at this state, this is what he wanted, to drink away his sorrow, to forget all the pain.

But later on it would come costly in a great price.

“Akanishi Jin’s night out, wasting away”

Newspaper, magazines, television news was all showing this. This was the new scandal, a story untold, a secret un-touched. This was going to be the biggest topic of the year in the entertainment circle.

Kame sat down next to Jin turning his face towards him, so he could catch a good look of his friend. Kame was worried as he sat there silently not knowing what to say. They stayed quiet for a whole half hour before Kame had the courage to speak. “Jin…”

“Don’t worry about it Kame. I was just having a bad week. You know, with the entire busy schedule and my mom isn’t feeling too good. I just got really caught up and I just had a careless night out. That’s all. But I’m fine now.”

Once again, it was Jin who reassured Kame that everything was alright. But it wasn’t, and Jin knew it. Johnny had already warned him once about the first scandal between Kame and Jin. Johnny had stated that if there was to be any more trouble from the both of them, one of them was going to be suspended.

And that was exactly what had happened.

</span>

“The popular 24 year old Akanishi-san is temporary suspended from the popular boy band group named KAT-TUN. The reason is still unknown. However, the groups activities will still continue on without Akanishi-san taking part.”

As Jin packed his suitcase with the television noise still in the background he was even more depressed and suffocating in his own lies. His flight was going to be in 4 hours. As Kame sat on his bed watching Jin back he didn’t say a word. He didn’t know what to say. Because it was always Jin who solved the tension and made every situation better. Jin thought silently in his head. ‘One last reassurance, just for him.’

"Kame, I want you to understand that, I'm leaving for a good cause."
"It's better for the both of us. You have to understand, if we continue on, it won’t do us any good." He tried saying this with a smile on his face. Before the tears could well up Jin quickly brushed them away, he had promised himself never to show the weak side of him to Kame.

“But you promised me, we would be friends forever. Sing, dance, learn, and grow up together forever. Jin, you promised, you promised. You said you loved me; do you not love me now? Is this why you’re leaving me? 10 years Jin, 10 years, of all time…. Why now? We can have another press conference and explain the whole thing.”

Jin was pretty chocked up to see his best friend in tears as he pleaded him not to go. But he had to; he was going to leave so they could have the distance between them. So the fans, the media would finally get off their backs. Jin had to sacrifice their friendship and love for the benefit of the group. That was how it was going to be. For 10 years they have been best friends through thick and thin. The joys and sorrows. The great amount of achievements and records they as a group had dominated in Japan. Knowing he was the stronger one with emotions, he was determined to carry out the plan, and with that he carried his suitcase and walked out the door.

The 6 of them standing in a small circle with Jin in the center as each member bid their goodbyes and wishful luck, when it was Kame’s turn everyone took a step back and allowed space between the two friends. Kame bit the bottom of his lip looking down at the floor. Jin bends his neck down so he could see Kame’s face but he turned around.

“Why are you avoiding me Kazuya? I’m leaving soon, the next time I see you is two years. Are you sure you’re not going to regret it not saying goodbye to me? I’m going to be very sad.”

And with that Kame slowly turned around and lifted his face, his eyes all teary and nose and cheeks all rosy red he choked out “Jin…..”

With the final reassurance Jin smiled one last time for Kame.

“Everything’s going to be okay. Because we’re best friends for so many years. Through thick and thin, the sorrow and joys. Kame, you’re more than just a friend, your more than just a brother, you’re everything I have. Kame…… I just want you to know, I love you so much. I’m sorry for confessing and than leaving you like this. I’m the worst friend in the…..” Before he could finish his sentence Kame had already pulled Jin into his arm for a tight embrace.

He said it, after all these years, from the day the met to the day they doubted, and to this very day having a successful career. Finally, he had untold the secret and unfolded the lies. He wasn’t going to regret not confessing, he knew it was from the bottom of the heart and with that, nothing could go wrong.

“Bakanishi,” He smiled softly. “I love you too. There’s no other person in this world can make me happy and cheer me up whenever I have my doubts. You’re the only one for me.”

Jin nuzzled Kame’s neck softly and rested on Kame’s neck for a quick one minute. Kame slowly drew each other apart. Staring in each others eyes, never wanting this moment to stop for eternity. Jin slowly drew his face closer and closer to Kame’s, slowly tilting his head towards the young man hoping he wouldn’t back away. Kame received the hint and closed his eyes and accepted the kiss.

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I hope it was okay. Because I was writing in haste not wanting to the 'feel' to disappear. I was totally in tears when I was writing this. I'm planning to write a part II, when Jin comes back from L.A, and something happens to his best friend. But I'm not sure yet. Depends on the success reading of this story.

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[Fic] The Bittersweet Times [Master List]

chibikaede — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 06:27:02 GMT

Title: Please The Bittersweet Times
Author: Chibikaede
Pairing: Fictional Charc. + Featuring KAT-TUN
Rating: PG
Summary: After hitting rock bottom. Heart shattered into pieces. I thought I could never forget about him. Because of him I was no longer that innocent women. I was now cold and filled with mystery. No one knows my story of the past. No one needs to know. After gone to a club to drink away my sorrows I met someone new. Maybe if I knew that it would just bring more heart shattering moments that night I would have never returned the handshake.
Genre: Drama
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot.

Author's Note || Chapter 00 | Chapter 01 | Chapter 02 | Chapter 03(a) | Chapter 03(b) | Chapter04 |

Chapter 05 | latest chapter

*Updated March 08, 2009*

STARTED: JAN 17 2009

[Fic]The Bittersweet Times

chibikaede — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 08:38:47 GMT

Title: The Bittersweet Times
Author: Chibikaede
Rating: PG
Summary: After hitting rock bottom. Heart shattered into pieces. I thought I could never forget about him. Because of him I was no longer that innocent women. I was now cold and filled with mystery. No one knows my story of the past. No one needs to know. After gone to a club to drink away my sorrows I met someone new. Maybe if I knew that it would just bring more heart shattering moments that night I would have never returned the handshake.
Genre: Drama, Romance
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot

Chapter o1

Black coffee

They sure leave an after taste in your mouth.

I sat in my chair with the cup of coffee in my hands as I continued to stare out the window. People took big strides as they walked down the streets in haste. Students with uniform still on them walked down the streets, chatting about something happily.In addition, there were many couples walking hand in hand together. In my own train of thoughts thinking about random things, someone soon interrupted me.

“Sorry I’m late!” Said a girl whom came to my table and sat down across from me.

I looked up at her and stared at her sipping my black coffee. I gave her a small nod as a greeting. I was wearing this blank face on me.

“The human traffic is crazy here. Sorry I’m late, so anyways, sup? How’s life? Did you get yourself a boyfriend yet? You said you would come to Korea to visit me, why didn’t you? And why are you still always drinking black coffee. ” she was totally bombarding me with questions.

“Nothing much,” I said just quietly enough for her to hear.

“Guess what! I’m getting married!” she exclaimed.

I started to choke on the black coffee that I took a sip of. Her eyes widened and quickly leaning forward and patted me on the back. I took a napkin and wiped the corner of my mouth I was staring at her in disbelief. “How! What? When? Huh?”

She was laughing like a total psycho. She than stopped laughing because she saw the look in my eyes, ‘Iam-so-serious-about-this-how-could-you-laugh-at-a-time-like-this.’

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” She repeated. “You looked so down, so I thought I should give you a surprise or something. You’re starting to look like a old grandma already. AISH~ Cheer up! Besides, I am finally back all the way from Korea! Let’s go shopping. Oh, but before that, can I stay at your place tonight! I haven’t really booked a hotel yet, and since you live alone I thought it’d be okay. Anyways, I can’t wait to go to shopping here. I truly miss Tokyo.” She exclaimed smiling cheerfully at me.

The girl’s name was Kyoko. We were best friends since high school until now. She’s tall with model like body. She always dressed in the latest fashion clothing. She was one of the only friends that I had stayed in contact after high school often. She was my savior. People often found it quite strange that two opposites like Kyoko and I turned out to be best friends. She was wild, and not afraid to express what is on her mind. The girl that shined rays upon me whenever I felt gloomy. When I had crashed rock bottom she was there right by my side to pull me up. We were the same age. 23 years old. We entered the adult hood we were allowed to drink and go clubbing all we wanted. Whenever we went clubbing she would be the first to hook up with a guy. The way she swayed her body left and right on the dance floor memorized all the men’s around her. Nevertheless, she was never a player. She knew her limits and she is never does those one-night stands that many of the girls in the clubs did. She simply just loved to party.

When we graduated from high school, she wanted to go to Korea to “pursue her dreams.” Kyoko’s major is business. She wants to open her own club one day, so she can go clubbing all she wants and best part was it was all going to be free. I totally forgot to mention that she is in love with Big Bang, I think that it was the main reason she even went to Korea. She often talked to me on the phone how she went to one of their performances and G-Dragon, is so hot and looked as yummy as she would describe him.

As we walked down the streets of Shibuya, we entered the department store 109. She pulled out her shopping list from her Chanel purse.

“Sunglasses…” she murmured.

“Don’t you have a lot of those already?” I pointed out.

“Aish! You don’t understand! The latest ones with the cute big frames are totally adorable.”

“Whatever, I think the shop down the hall sells sunglasses.”

“What you waiting for! Let’s go!” she hooked my arms into hers and pranced down the hall.

We were looking like totally idiots. However, I smiled contently. ‘Finally some company around here.’ I was getting quite lonely living alone for quite some time now.

“Ne!....Do you think this one is cute?” she asked me.

“Ummm…I don’t think it quite matches your face.”

“I guess….”

She pulls out another pair and tries it on. Looks at the mirror in front of her.

“This one. HITOMI! Let’s buy this one!!”

“It’s your choice,” I rolled my eyes.

We walked up to the cash register and the lady placed the sunglasses into the box and then placed it into a Chanel bag. Throughout the day, we walked all around Shibuya, going to many shoe shops and clothing stores. I was so amazed how Kyoko’s feet were able to walk all day without getting tired. Not to mention the 2-inch high heels she was wearing compared to my puma sneakers.

We shopped and shopped until the sun was descending.

I wasn’t surprised that we ended up in a club. I sat at the bar table with the cup of vodka in my hand while I watched Kyoko danced with some random guy. They were totally rubbing their selves against each other. I simply laughed to myself. She sure hasn’t changed at all even though we had reach our adult hood. I often came to this club it was considered one of my favorite. They had all my favorite alcohol and the guys were all good looking. The music blasted into my ears, the place was dark, with occasional laser lights of red and green flashing off from the roofs.

I could hear the DJ shout on to the dance floor, the crowd went wild and started dancing even faster moving their hips along with the beat. Kyoko was now surrounded by two guys. I laughed again silently in my head. I took another sip of my vodka allowing the alcohol burn through my throat and down to my stomach.

Whenever I was by myself, I would always think of the past…

I would always think of him for no reason.

No matter how hard I tried pushing him to the back of my head he would always come back haunting me. However, I was getting better. I no longer broke down crying every time I thought of him. Now it only made me into this pissy mood, and no one should mess with me during my fit. Luckily, someone just had to test my luck.

“Hey~ You wanna dance with me?” the voice was calm and deep.

I didn’t realize the man was standing infront of me. I turned myself around with the cup of vodka still in my hand. He flashes his charming smile at him and offers me to dance with him again.

“No thanks.” I muttered.

“Why not? You’re here anyways lets have fun.”

Who do you think he was I thought in my head. I don’t wanna dance, why is he so stubborn. I turned around giving him the cold shoulder and gulped down the rest of my vodka. I asked the bartender for another cup vodka. Unaware the same man sat down beside me.

“Can of Asahi Beer please.”

I turned my head to the right and saw the man sitting next to me. His hair was dark brown that reached his shoulders. He had a tall nose and brown-orbed eyes. He was wearing a simple t-shirt with a vest on top of it that made him look a little sophisticated. He crosses his arm and leans his body forward on the bar table and flashes another of his killer smile at me. This time I felt a sting directly to my heart.

“I see that you often come here.”

I glared at the man for a whole minute before answering.

“Are you stalking me? Do you know it is illegal to stalk people in Japan?”

“Hahahaha…no no, I come here quite often myself. My friends always drag me here. Over time, I have become quite fond to this place. It is a good place to calm down. The first time I saw you here was couple months ago right?”

“I guess” My eyes never left him. I was still determining whether he was stalking me or not.

“The name is Jin, Akanishi Jin.” The man offers me his hand.

For a minute there, I didn’t know why, but I reached out to return the handshake.

“Jin” The name echoed in my heart. For a flash of instant I had forgotten about him.

“The name is Hitomi, nice to meet you.”

The bartender came back with another cup of vodka in his hand, exchanged the empty cup, and placed Akanishi Jin's Asahi beer on a costar before pushing the beer towards him.

"So what brings you here? You like it around here. I guess so...since you often come here as well." He was looking straight ahead when he talked.

I looked at him. And simply replied "Sorry, I don't flirt and do one-night stands for your information."

He chuckles sipping his beer, and then turning his head to face me he winked at me.

"It would be nice if you would dance with me. Its okay, I don’t do one-night stands either. I rather have strings attached to it. Don’t you think a commitment is so much better than those one-nights that people entangled themselves into. Why play leapfrog all the time?”

I eyed him carefully, choosing my words wisely in my head.

“Well… I don’t think you’d want to get to know a girl like me. You don’t even know me, why would you even want to have a commitment with a stranger?”

He stands up from his stool and takes a step towards me. He bends his upper body down towards me. I could smell his cologne, I took a big sniff of it, and it totally had toxicated my mind. He drew me closer to him. His hands now were resting on my shoulder and he whispered into my ear.

“Just one dance. I promise I’ll make you fall in love with me.”

His voice was so full of confidence. I was totally caught off guard. Why did he have to sound so much like him?

“Dance with him”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know….just because”
“You’re just afraid. Afraid that he is going to be right.”
“I’ll show you…..”

I stood up from my stool also and we walked to the dance floor. I was now totally sucked into the rhythm of the music. I moved my body left and right and popped my chest occasionally to the beat of the music. It had been a while since I danced. Normally I’d just sit at the bar table and allow myself to drink as much vodka till my hearts was in content.

I felt Jin’s eyes never leaving me. He too was dancing to the music. Dang, he is such a good dancer he looks so sexy. What am I thinking? Hitomi, you are totally out of it.

After an hour of pure dancing sweat came down my forehead and that was when I decided to stop. I went back to the bar table and gulped down my vodka. Jin followed behind me and placed one of his arms around my shoulder.

“You surprised me you. Wow… the great Akanishi Jin is left speechless.”

I push his arms off my shoulder and excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I push the heavy doors open. Turned on the tap and splashed water onto my face. Looking at the reflection, Am I ready to move on? Later on I walked back to the bar table. The so-called Akanishi Jin was no longer in sight. I grabbed some money out of my back pocket and placed it next to my empty cup that once contained vodka.

I reached into my purse to grab my car keys. I climbed onto my Mercedes and drove off to my apartment complex.

I reached into my purse once again to find the house keys, however a folded piece of paper fell out. I knelt down to pick it up. The note in my hand while I opened the door. I placed my other free hand against the wall while trying to find the switch for the lights. I was now regretting drinking a little too much vodka.

When I managed to open the lights, I sat on my comfortable white coach and opened the folded piece of paper.

“Thanks for dancing with me tonight.
My phone number is XXX XXX XXXX
I’ll be waiting for your call.”

From: The All Mighty Jin

“All mighty my ass” I muttered.

I folded Jin’s note in half and placed it on the table. The vodka now had taken over my mind I was no longer thinking clearly. I tried standing up wanting a glass of water instead when I got up, I fell right back down on my coach. I cursed under my breath and laid back on my coach, I let out a deep sigh and decided to sober myself with some sleep. However, for some reason I couldn’t fall asleep. It felt like I was forgetting something. Something really important. Something that I would regret later on. I tried to think; I frowned at myself and placed a hand over my face. Unfortunately, I was in no state to remember anything.

Forget it; I will remember it tomorrow morning. It can wait until I’m sober.

Soon I was fast asleep. The whole living room filled with silence. All one could hear was the sound of the clock ticking that hanged from the kitchen wall. Silence and emptiness filled the room. Just like my current heart. Not trying to contain and express any emotions. I was always afraid one day it would come back haunting me like it did in the past.

If I knew what would happen after meeting the man called Jin, I would have never returned that handshake. Maybe it would have spared me from shedding some more tears in the future.

[Fic]The Bittersweet Times

chibikaede — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 07:35:05 GMT

Title: The Bittersweet Times

Author: Chibikaede

Rating: PG

Summary: After hitting rock bottom. Heart shattered into pieces. I thought I could never forget about him. Because of him I was no longer that innocent women. I was now cold and filled with mystery. No one knows my story of the past. No one needs to know. After gone to a club to drink away my sorrows I met someone new. Maybe if I knew that it would just bring more heart shattering moments that night I would have never returned the handshake.

Genre: Drama

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot.

Chapter 00

“YOU STUPID IDIOT! GIVE ME BACK MY HEART.”

“I HATE YOU, WHERE IS THIS FOREVER THAT WE HAD PROMISED.”

From screaming to a whisper

“come back…”

“I still love you…”

Of course, there was no response each time I made these remarks.

Just like my current life.

Silence and emptiness was what I always got back in return.

And this is how I am now.

Currently sipping my black coffee always thinking about the past.

As I thought back to the past years, all the way to the beginning of my high school life, was it all that innocent? Now looking back into the past, turning my head back, the image of me flashed through my head. The little I standing there with a big backpack that hung behind my back and with little worried look upon my face. The little version of myself reflecting back into my eyes, I gave a smirk to myself, drawn my hands up to form a gun position *bang* as I mouthed the words, and the little replica of myself dropped dead on the ground. I was no longer that innocent girl that talked and walked around the school. The little naïve Hitomi Kao, no longer existed.

“What was the time again?” as I mumbled to myself over and over again laying on the little single bed that I’ve slept on all my life. As I looked at my watch, it was only 7’oclock. The first day of school rushed through my head. Wait… I should correct myself; it was the first day of HIGH school. Technically yesterday was suppose to be the first day of school. Getting to know the buildings, trying to find our classrooms. The “first” day ended in 2 hours, it was too fast for my likings. As I looked at my backpack, filled with empty binders and a lock in the front pocket of my backpack I sighed in disbelief. I had quietly got out of bed and gotten dressed. I wasn’t really into the latest fashion and I was defiantly not like those girls that spent 15 minutes to choose what they should wear to school and another additional 15 minutes on their hair and makeup. I simply threw on a t-shirt and sweatpants, and swiftly grabbed my backpack and tiptoed downstairs.

My mom and two brothers were still always sleeping their asses off. They normally don’t wake up until 7:50. The spoiled two princes of the house always gad their breakfast and lunches by the queen of the house. Why couldn’t I be the princess of the house? Well that’s simply because the queen and I never gotten along. Instead I think I got demoted to a peasant. Always preparing my own breakfast, lunch, and I had to be out the door before the queen woke up.

I was the ultimate breakfast skipper. If I had eaten breakfast properly, I would have saved myself living from another 6 years. Who cares? I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and grabbed my shoes from the garage and I was out the door by 7:15. I enjoyed walking to school, because I always woke up early. There were never many students walking down the roads. It was always just me and the streetlights that were still opened. I turned on my iPod that was shoved in my jacket pocket and I listened to my favorite band KAT-TUN. I enjoyed the cold wind that brushed against my face it simply felt refreshing. In grade 8, I had always taken my sweet time walking down the streets.

I was simply a loner on the streets. It always took me a good half hour to walk to school, when in reality it actually should only take 10 minutes for an average person.

I got to school around 7:50 and I simply headed towards the library. Procrastinating, I sat on one of the chairs and laid my head on the table. I couldn’t wait for these 5 years of high school to be over with already.

Overall, was the grade 8 life exciting? I couldn’t really tell. While looking out the window and simultaneously trying to remember the memories; the events, the achievements and in the end I couldn’t remember anything decent enough. There was this one particular saying that I would never forget, “I can’t wait till my grade 8 life was over.”

Until I met him.

Yes, “him” as I referred him to my friends. My friends understood who “him” was.

He was the person that made my heart race so fast that normally when I tried taking deep breathes it would slowly sooth my heart again. However, after meeting him, that tricked never worked again. It kept racing faster and faster, pounding against my chest.

He was the guy that would make my face go bright red each time I saw him. No matter how far he was standing. For or near, when I spotted him, my face would automatically turn red. When my friends saw my face turning red, they knew “he” was nearby.

He was the person that made my high school days more exciting. I was eager to go to school each day. Waking up early just to see him. I would work hard in school so tat he could one day recognize my achievements. My life for once was like a tidal wave. He knew exactly how to make my heart race at incredible speed. However, I knew that one day it would come crashing down. It would hit me so hard, that it sent after shocks to my body.

Yes, that was what exactly what happened to me

After knowing him

I cried day after day until I wish I moved to a different school. My grades started to drop drastically. My mood swings became even more drastic and evident. I thought those days I had bipolar disorder. I was at the top of the game. However, in the end I ended up losing everything and probably even more. I gained nothing back, besides the shattered pieces of heart that was left behind. My soul felt like it was detached from me. The endless amount of tears that I had shed for him. I could not tell how many nights I had cried myself to sleep. It was a countless day after day, night after night.

I sat in the coffee shop on the street corner of downtown. Busy cars were zooming by as if they were trying to reach there destination in speedy time. While everyone was always on the go, I on the other hand was laid back and always thinking of the past. Even though I am currently in the present time, the now. Not to mention, that I should be looking forward ahead, towards the future. It felt like I was the only person who stayed back.

It was because of him that turned me who I am today.

Cold,

Heartless,

A drunkard.

I loved him so deeply.

And this was the price I got in return,

Hurt,

Discontent,

And soulless.

I loved him so much that I hated him.

He had taken my soul with him unexpectedly.