Friday: Now You Do This

At long last, your day has come. You've been put in charge. Now, everybody must do as you say. List ten changes you would make, if only people would do the sensible thing and appoint you to call the shots.

1. Legalize gay marriage
2. Spend more money getting alternative energy sources off the ground (or out of the sky, as may be)
3. Overhaul airport security (I understand it's important, but the way they're going about it is just pissing people off)
4. Make politicians have to answer questions in under a minute in debates. This will be enforced by water balloon
5. Appoint a team of top scientists and economists to start figuring out how to get clean water and food to everybody
6. Make it so rude customers can be immediately ejected from any store (customer is always right my ass); on the flip side, rude employees can also be removed from the premises
7. Give lots of money to theaters to encourage the production of plays
8. Try to get us into a period of peace with all countries
9. Overhaul the school system so kids can all learn at their own pace and learn both the typical stuff and stuff that'll be necessary for "real life" (add "balancing a checkbook" to math class, for example)
10. Get my scientists to invent a toilet-cleaning robot