Saturday Thoughts of the Heart

But what do we know of the heart nearest to our own? What do we know of our own heart?
Amelia Barr

It's funny, in a way. Back at home, most girls wouldn't even look twice at me. I don't know if it was actually me they disliked or my parents, but either way I didn't have much luck with the fairer sex. Never had a girlfriend, never paid court to anyone. . . When my parents told me about my arranged marriage, I was shocked, but I think there was a little part of me that went, "Well, of course my marriage would have to be arranged." I'd -- I'd rather resigned myself to a life without love.

And now, here in Secundus. . .I've had two girls (including said arranged fiancee) insinuate they would not mind being Mrs. Van Dort. And I've had to turn them both down because I'm in love with someone else. I hadn't even realized I'd fallen in love with her. Just -- talking to Victoria made me realize just how much I d-didn't want to be apart from her. . .how she lit up my days, made me smile and laugh like no one else could. . . And I -- I don't know if she'll ever love me back like that. If she'll ever be able to think of me as more than a friend. I don't want to confess because I might lose her and --

Love is too complicated.