Forever ready for the Zombie Apocalypse

Rock Covers????

charliemachina — Tue, 03 Jan 2006 11:08:59 GMT

Tidying my room at my parents
Watching Tommie Lee play in a marching band
Helping my mum with the washing up

All made so much better by listening to music such as Van Halens Pretty Woman Cover (Guitars bring me more guitars)

Magical

Love and hugz to you all Charlie

Merry Danish Christmas Celebrations

charliemachina — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 19:50:26 GMT

I've just been to church, I didn't want to go and normally I'm the only member of my family who isn't expected to go but Sarah wanted to go because she enjoys it and she wanted Elyssa to go so I went to look after Elyssa and do the baby carrying thing (and leave with her if she became difficult). It was ok and everyone else seemed to enjoy it, Elyssa was very well behaved and all the singing sent her to sleep almost straight away. I feel a bit strange going to church these days because I used to really want to believe in it all and although i'm not an atheist I am definately not comfortable in doing what I see as playing christian. But as I said everyone else enjoyed it and thats what mattered.

While in the church I thought if I had one trip back into history what would I do?

I decided I would love to go back in time give Jesus a copy of the bible tell him that thats what they've written about him in the future and leave. I'm really curious as to what effect it would have if any. I might also subgest that he strongly discourage any Crusades to retake the land of his birth by western powers.

What would you do?

Happy Christmas

Love and hugz charlie

Stolen Meme from Gary (half Ryme...yay!!)

charliemachina — Wed, 21 Dec 2005 15:15:54 GMT

1.What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
Deliberately and stupidly headbutted a cabinet and nearly knocked myself out.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I vaguely remmber things like be a good daddy and make myself happy. I'm happy and I've been covered in so much baby sick and shit and made Elyssa laugh enough to be a good daddy I believe. Yes I will make more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My daughters mother.....now my partner once more.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My buddy Keith who I worked with choked to death in his sleep, it was really sad.

5. What countries did you visit?
None what so ever.

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
Money and Sanity please.

7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Mouse's Birthday because it was a fantastic party and I'd really missed having loads of people round and the 9th of June because my daughter was born.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
That would be being able to talk to Sarah again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Broken heart, bruised pride same as most years.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Comics, loads of cool comics

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Elyssa's with every smile and giggle

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No comment

14. Where did most of your money go?
My fucking Mortgage.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting my new job

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
I miss you by Blink 182

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner (Saddness + Kebabs = Fatter)
c) richer or poorer? Poorer (Soon to be much Richer)

18. Of what do you wish you'd done more?
Magically resolved issues between people I care about as well as my own.

19. Of what do you wish you'd done less?
Listening to bad advice

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Rampaging around the midlands collecting presents with Elyssa and Sarah.

21. How will you be spending New Year's?
Quietly with Sarah and Elyssa I imagine.

22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
I steped in it.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Doctor Who

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't actually hate anyone just distrust and dislike some people which is sad enough.

25. What was the best book you read?
Ultimates: State of Emergency (Comic)

26.What was your greatest musical discovery?
Motley Crew, I only knew Girls, Girls, Girls before.

27. What did you want and get?
Answers.

28. What did you want and not get?
Answers.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Kingdom of Heaven (the king was rotting he's great)

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went out got twatted at Trinitys and tried not to be a fucked up emotional mess, 25.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
saying no instead of yes at one specific moment.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Unshaven biker wannabie.

33. What kept you sane?
I don't know that I was consistently sane but at the end of it all i'd say not ever giving up kept me sane.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Kate Beckinsale (from underworld)

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Trying to blame people for not stopping the London bomming

36. Who did you miss?
Sarah

37. Who was the best new person(s) you met?
Elyssa

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
When you think your broken you can always find the energy to sally forth one more time if it matter enough.

39. Pick a song lyric or quote that you think sums up 2005.
"This could be your sick love song, sick love song sick love song, this could be your reason things are going wrong sick love song sick love song."

40. One wish
A peaceful easy feeling when with all those I care for.

Love and hugz Charlie

Score

charliemachina — Tue, 20 Dec 2005 09:26:26 GMT

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

I got offered the job as Mentor working with naughty kids for £15000 - £18000 despite being better than 20 other candidates who were all described as strong they would only start me on £15000 and that had to be Pro Rata so it would actually be £12 000 which I cannot live off. I told the dude I had another interview and i'd get back to him.

I went to my other interview for a Project support worker position (more money tooooo) for an organisation called valley house where i'd be helping people in supported accomadation doing everything from arranging for people to see a councilor to stopping people killing themselves in the middle of the night to helping single mothers into education (I got all excited when I visited the project coz it was soooo cool) and I really really really wanted the job.

Just rang Neil from the Mentoring place and he told me Valley house was an amazing project and I was a really really strong candidate and he was sorry to louse me because I'M NOW WORKING FOR VALLEY HOUSE

FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH
FUCK YEAH

and I will actually be able to afford things.

Love and hugz Charlie the well happy

charliemachina — Wed, 07 Dec 2005 21:55:08 GMT

Oh Great Cthulhu!

I have been an extremely busy devotee this year.

In March, I exposed welcometopablos to soul-rending horrors (250 points). In September, I stopped celestialarrow from defiling Lovecraft's grave (-20 points). When the stars were right, I sacrificed vixstar to Cthulhu (500 points). In February, I fed easylifeshaun to a Shoggoth (250 points). In November, I recruited suede_kitten as a new cultist (30 points). In August, I bombed a cultist gathering (-100 points).

In short, I have been very good (910 points) and deserve to get hooked up with one of those cute Innsmouthers.

Your humble and obedient servant,
charliemachina

Submit your own plea to Cthulhu!

Love and hugz charlie

I return

charliemachina — Wed, 07 Dec 2005 14:25:13 GMT

Hello compadres

I've been busy being unemployed. No it's not a paradox i've spent a month with Sarah and Elyssa and we have been to her fathers, my parents twice, the Wirral, Nantwich and now they have returned to Redditch. So I have been assisting with nappies and baby buggie pushing and trying to get my rebelious daughter to eat solid food when all she really wants is boobie milk. I have also been trying to find work, registering with agencies, filling out application forms and on monday I even had an interview (To be a learning mentor it went very well I believe).

Sarah and me went out two wednesdays ago and that was really fun I had to run back for 11.00am to take over Elyssa watch from my parents.

Elyssa is beautiful and desperate to walk I have a wicked picture of her and Sarah where Elyssa is wearing a Santa outfit we stole off a teddy but I can't get our scanner to work here.

Yesterday my mother and me went to Birmingham (shopping capital of europe) and bought many presents for many people I actually outshopped my mother who got a £13 bottle of handwash (£13?!?!?!?) bought for her because rumour has it that she has been good this year (Molton and Brown is crazy expensive soap).

Hope your all well

Love and hugz Charlie

P.S. Chris i'm well loving the present ypou and Sarah (your sarah) are getting but I not sure if you will like them as much as I do.....Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee. It's nearly xmas Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Being a man

charliemachina — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 12:59:14 GMT

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

Love and hugz charlie

State of affairs

charliemachina — Wed, 09 Nov 2005 00:27:45 GMT

Dave and Gemma's wedding from my point of view was a total sucess. Dave looked kinda elflike with his hair all done in a way that Legolas would have approved of and Gemma seemed to smile constantly and looked beautiful in her Costigan-shaw designs wedding dress.
It was beautifully done and retained class while still managing to be spectacularly fun.

The vicar needs to be excecuted without delay taking about football and divorce is unacceptable
in my book specially while leading the vows but there was so much other good feeling it didn't seem to matter.

Elyssa got to meet half the known world which is something that was very important for me and being her father daughter she blatantly enjoyed all the attention. Sarah was great to and I think it was really good for her (both of us actually) to have everyone see us together again and happy.

I know looking back that we have not had the most normal or easy relationship but I struggle to think of a single relationship I could describe as normal or easy and I am proud of where I am and where we have got to I would not change our past for fear of not having what it is I have now.

Love and hugz Charlie

I got this off Sicfuk

charliemachina — Thu, 03 Nov 2005 13:37:44 GMT

When I was little, I wanted to be a...
Vet but I didn't want to study

At University/College, I studied...
Zoology but that was boring so I changed and got an imaginative writing degree.

My first real job was as a...
Promoter £3.25 per hour

I have also spent a lot of time as a...
Barman (100% on a mystery customer test)

I am currently working as a...
Project Trainer for New Deal

I am happy/hideously disappointed with my career choice.
I am happy but I want to take it further and work with teenagers/children

I would secretly like to be a...
Dancer but hate the idea of people making me follow their routines.

Love and hugz Charlie

charliemachina — Thu, 03 Nov 2005 13:29:48 GMT

Completed by Lorna demand

My favorite things in no particular order

1. Elyssa Alabam Hazelton
2. Gunz and Roses
3. Sarah Hazelton
4. Being Loud
5. My friends
6. Throwing Fire
7. Giving people love and support
8. History
9. My parents and sister
10. people showing me that they love me

Love and hugz Charlie

charliemachina — Mon, 31 Oct 2005 13:26:29 GMT

You scored 75 Heterosexuality, 27 Homosexuality, and 3 Asexuality!

You are either straight or bisexual (with an interest in the opposite gender) with a moderate to high sex drive.

The higher your score in heterosexuality, the more you are attracted to the opposite gender.

A higher asexuality score means that you place a bigger emphasis on the emotional aspects of a relationship and less on the physical.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 29% on Heterosexuality

You scored higher than 73% on Homosexuality

Stolen off Vixstar

You scored higher than 2% on Asexuality

Link: The 3-Variable Sexuality Spectrum Test written by kitsunechild on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Doing this quiz introduced me to the word Cuddleslut which i enjoy.

Love and hugz Charlie Cuddleslut

Nightmares

charliemachina — Mon, 24 Oct 2005 15:14:58 GMT

I was sleeping and in my head I was caughtin an endless loop of arguements with a Born again Christian but he must have been from the super Elite storm trooper devision because his arguements were so convoluted and delivered with such passion that even though he was a obvious wanker I couldn't prove him wrong (he was though he was totally wrong and I was right) he was really getting on my tits and then he started on about the apocalypse and I started poking definate holes in his arguements then he told me I was a fool and started the Zombie apocalypse and this Zombie came though the floor and kept on trying to bite my hand even when I smacked him back through the floor boards. I woke up filled with terror to find i'd fallen asleep with my finger in Elyssa's hand and as she was teething she had put it in her mouth and was chewing on it (At no point did I smack Elyssa back through the floor boards). I couldn't go back to sleep properly as I was totally Zombified.

Had a beautiful weekend and now own much cool Harley Davidson stuff like moey-uber belt buckel etc.

Love and hugz Charlie

Machine

charliemachina — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 12:32:11 GMT

Just had a chat with Sarah and to quote her

"I'm in love with a machine"

It's statments like that that fill me with happyness.

Love and hugz Charlie

RANT: Everyone must have a baby immediately

charliemachina — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 12:04:42 GMT

Daisy May Sweatman was born last night so Ben is once more the father of a baby girl three for three.

Joy, joy, joy, joy metallers reproduce in the name of Rock.

All people of a honest heart and a Alternative persuasion must have children immediately:

Reason 1: The Alternative lifestyle is continually being corrupted by "People going through a rebelious phase" and the evil infection of corporations who all contribute to removing the passionate expressions in all the art forms we love and seek to make us numb and compliant.

Reason 2: In order to combat the spread of ignorance and Chavesque behavior we must spread our seed to ensure that the collective gene pool still has genes worth having in it. The ignorant are reproducing and teaching these creations how to be abusive, selfish, little shits at a terrifying pace we must have Rock babies and train them in the strength and fulfilment that is found in being true to yourself, valuing who you are and respecting other people.

Babies immediately even if you adopt.....you have nine months and counting.

Love and hugz Charlie

Discipline is vital

charliemachina — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 12:44:39 GMT

I have mostly spent my free time this morning telling the agency I'm registered with how to do their job. They have finially pulled their fingers out and are looking to be able to help me. Why, why, why do you have to herass profesional agencies to acomplish the minimum of what is expected of them.

I spent last night watching Zombie films with Nat and shiting my pants with fear. I tried to watch lost as well but was unfortunately so wrecked by this point that I was to busy babling incoherant bollocks, ranting aand singing at the pasta I was cooking.

I highly enjoyable evening.

My mummy and Daddy are back soon and I've missed them loads plus they are bringing me a present associated with one of the following:
The American Civil War
The Vietnam War
The Confederate Flag
The Stars and Stripes
The US Marine Corps
The Punisher
or Harley Davidson motor bikes.

I quite excited to see what they bring me.

Love and hugz Charlie

It's not PC but it made me laugh

charliemachina — Fri, 14 Oct 2005 08:22:23 GMT

WHITE WOMEN

>>First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
>>
>>Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
>>
>>Third date: You get to have s£x but only in the missionary position.
>>
>>
>>
>>BLACK WOMEN
>>First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
>>
>>Second Date:You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
>>
>>Third Date: You get to pay her rent
>>
>>Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
>>
>>
>>
>>IRISH WOMEN
>>First Date: You both get blind drunk and have s£x.
>>
>>Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have s£x.
>>
>>20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have s£x.
>>
>>
>>
>>ITALIAN WOMEN
>>First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
>>
>>Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.
>>
>>Third Date: You have s£x, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
>>
>>5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having s£x.
>>
>>6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.
>>
>>
>>
>>JEWISH WOMEN
>>First Date: You get terrific head.
>>
>>Second Date: You get even more great head.
>>
>>Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her, and never get head again.
>>
>>
>>
>>CHINESE WOMEN
>>First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
>>
>>Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
>>
>>Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing is ever going to
>>happen.
>>
>>
>>INDIAN WOMEN
>>First date: Meet her parents.
>>
>>Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
>>
>>Third date: Wedding night.
>>
>>
>>MEXICAN WOMEN
>>First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk
>>on Tequila, and have s£x in the back of her car.
>>
>>Second Date: She's pregnant.
>>
>>Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother,
>>father, his girlfriend,her two sisters, her brother,
>>all of their kids, her grandma, her father's
>>girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's
>>Boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on
>>rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home
>>that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along
>>the Tijuana strip.
>>
>>
>>
>>ARAB WOMEN
>>First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters,
>>Cousins,Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab
>>community finds out.
>>
>>Second Date: You are shot dead.
>>
>>No third date.

Terrible

Love and hugz Charlie

charliemachina — Wed, 12 Oct 2005 09:08:17 GMT

I believe I have got to Nemi 23rd of February.

Weed's on sky is'nt very good it reminded me of Desperate Housewives "The New Class"

Had a lovely night last night with lots of visitors and they got me wrecked. Chris was passed out on my coach this morning.

Love and hugz Charlie

Parenthood

charliemachina — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 12:42:44 GMT

I loved this.

Anyone does this to my daughter ill break your arms :)

Love and hugz Charlie

charliemachina — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 12:21:45 GMT

My bathroom is amazing it makes me feel sucessful just taking a slash in it.

My toilet seat isn't rusty either yayyyyyy.

Last night was cool Ben and PJ came round and dropped off four albums one by a band called 69eyes who apparently sound Billy Idol Esque and the lead singer he has a Leather jacket and Leather gloves with skeleton bone pattern sewn onto them....ROCK, ROCK, ROCK, ROCK. I will find money and paint up one for myself.

Dave also came round and borrowed excellent Ultimates comics so I am looking forward to the excited discussion that we will have about how hard Thor is.

It was really nice to have a night at home with lots of visitors....I believe I may be doing the same tonight.

Love and hugz Charlie

Nemi

charliemachina — Mon, 10 Oct 2005 12:31:55 GMT

I have discouvered a wealth of NEMI she rocks lots.

Go explore http://www.metro.co.uk/img/pix/

and look for Nemi

Love and hugz Charlie

P.S. Share my new joy

P.P.S. Going home to wash clothes tonight people are welcome of course I have 5 cans of beer yayyyyyy.

charliemachina — Mon, 10 Oct 2005 10:25:12 GMT

You scored as Carrot Ironfounderson. You are Captain Carrot Ironfounderson of the City Watch in the greatest city on the Disc â Ankh-Morprok! A truly good natured, honest guy, who knows everyone, and is liked by all. Technically a dwarf, but only by adoption. Youâd rather not be reminded that you are the true heir to the throne, but that does explain why people naturally follow your ordersâ¦

</td>

Carrot Ironfounderson

88%

The Librarian

69%

Gytha (Nanny) Ogg

63%

Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax

56%

Commander Samuel Vimes

50%

Cohen The Barbarian

44%

Greebo

31%

Death

19%

Rincewind

19%

Lord Havelock Vetinari

19%

Which Discworld Character are you like (with pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

Arrrgh I'm Ginger....I always like Carrot though.

Love and hugz Charlie

Ben

charliemachina — Wed, 05 Oct 2005 15:30:32 GMT

My lunch was cool good to escape the office. Come round anytime you can and ill see if i can be a bit more awake and hospitable next time e.g. I can give you booze.

Love and Hug Charlie

Wheres my stuff.com

charliemachina — Tue, 04 Oct 2005 12:41:48 GMT

Where is my stuff

Clarkeeeee: Can I please have my CD's I left in your mums car

Claire: Can you get my Troy and Teachers DVD off Charlie and get them back to me pleassseeee

Love and hugz Charlie

Antics of yesterday

charliemachina — Tue, 04 Oct 2005 11:57:09 GMT

Yesterday I got picked up by Chris at work and taken to his and fed food which I enjoyed one because what Chris can cook he cooks very well, two because I enjoy getting him to cook for me it makes me feel important and three because ITS FREEEEEEEE.

We the went to mine cut my hair saw Sicfuk and Feeeee and I tried on Sicfuks Scarlet outfit which I would describe as what Darth Vader would ware to a German Gay Pride Festival.......its cool.

We then visited Dave, Gemma and Hayes. We discussed many things such as plans for his wedding, Gemma being a big hungover mess 13 hours after she got in from a big drinky sesh, Comics, Nick behaving like a dick and Hayes being great and re-enacting The Great Escape under his new cot.

I met Chris's GIRLFRIEND Sarah. She's really nice, dead chatty and they are actually suited in that you watch them and straight away see why the dig each other.

I then went home and watched The Fantastic Four......It was FANTASTIC. There was alot to get through but it wasn't rushed in fact it worked quite well I was impressed.

I woke up this morning went to work and have spent this entire morning upto my armpits in Foleshillians.

Love and hugz Charlie

Bon Jour

charliemachina — Mon, 03 Oct 2005 12:49:30 GMT

Hello you all

I'm great.

I've had a lovely weekend with Sarah and Elyssa and no one in the Police or Social services or anywhere else of work related significance has anything bad to say about me so i'm properly on the job hunt now which is good seeing as I finish here on the 5th of November.

My Daughter is beautiful although a bit grumpy last night because we had a long day trecking about birmigham (I shouted at lots of mini-metallers because they had no respect for pushchair users and they scattered to the winds) on saterday and we trecked about Redditch on Sunday so she was probably a bit trecked out......why cry because your tired just sleep woman!!!!

But she got off in the end. Hope everyone had a splendiferous time on Friday sounds like it was quite a unique experience hope all is good sorry I don't see everyone much at the mo but I am a very busy (and sleepy) boy. I'm going to see Mr Clarke tonight if I can get hold of him.

What did Feeee make of Scarlet?

Love and hugz Charlie (at work soon to be assualted by Foleshillians)