Love is not like anything,

new lj

charleejd — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 04:02:51 GMT

I have a new lj it is c1rca_char

Add me!

That is all!

<3 Char

Confused

charleejd — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 04:35:13 GMT

Okay so there is this guy most of you can probably guess who. He's like my best friend right now. I am getting feelings for him besides friendship and I want to act on those feelings but I don't want to fuck up the friendship if I do decide to do so. He is like the sweetest guy you'll ever meet he was there for me when Jesse was an asshole and fucked around with HER! Then after his girlfriend broke up with him I was there to be support (not in a sexual way). He has been so understanding through all the screwed up stuff I've had to deal with. I have been there for him. I mean we can cuddle and then go back to being friends the next minute its great. I don't want to lose that if I did I don't know what I would do.

I still can't get over the fact that Jesse would fuck such an ugly cow. But thats besides the point of what I am trying to figure out. I want to kiss him (not Jesse!) so bad but I don't have guts to do it. He was standing under mistletoe the other night and just kind of looking at me. I asked him did he actually want me to kiss him and he said I was kidding. I asked him what would be have done if I did kiss him and he told me that he would've kissed me back. I am kicking myself for not taking that chance that night and done something gutsy. It'll happen I hope, but like I said I don't want to mess up the awesome friendship I have with him. I like what we have and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

<3 Char

Christmas Break so far

charleejd — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 03:11:52 GMT

Right now I am sitting on my couch with Justin and Taylor watching Jackass number two. So far its alright kinda sick worse then the first one by far. Yesterday a was fun day I played DDR in the evening with Telle and Justin. At first I was bad at it but then I got better it was fun. I have videos that are going on youtube.com so as soon as they are uploaded I will give the link, so everyone can see the stupidity of that night.

<3 Char

boo

charleejd — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 16:12:45 GMT

Merry Christmas!

I am now offically hooked up with a new Hp laptop! Its sexy

Other then that i guess today has been alright, I was up at like 8 but thats fine. As long as it wasn't 7 or even 6. I got the cutest pj pants they are tweety with tinkerbell wings they are so cute! I will post pics later of some stuff I got to until then.

Peace!

<3 Char

charleejd — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 05:08:02 GMT

He fucking cheated on me with Izzy. How the fuck could he say he cared so fucking much about me the turn around and do that to me. I had a feeling that, that is what had been going on. I am just pissed that I was right.

</3 Char

charleejd — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 16:59:25 GMT

I have finally given in to being sick, I am now heading to Emerg. Damn. I think I am really sick I coughed up yellow stuff from my lungs.

<3 Char

Yoinked from cherryromance

charleejd — Sun, 03 Sep 2006 16:05:54 GMT

You Are Reverse Pocky

Your attitude: rebellious and clever
Non-conformist, but curiously a trendsetter
With you, up is down... and it's a wild ride!

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

charleejd — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 14:17:26 GMT

So I got my g2!!!!
And now I am in TO well actually mississauga.
I am awaiting shopping but I have to wait til tomorrow.

<3 Char

EeeeK!

charleejd — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 17:41:43 GMT

I leave to go take my g2 in 20 minutes, wish me luck.

Last night...

charleejd — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 17:53:12 GMT

Most Amazing night of my life in a long time that is. I went over to Izzy's for a party with Jesse(the guy I like). So just drinking awasy I used the biggest fucking cup I could find in her kitchen, it was huge! I had too much to drink and was trying to fall asleep no matter what in otherwords I was getting ready to pass out which isn't a good thing. Jesse wouldn't let me pass out he was trying to keep my concious. He picked me up off the chair I was sitting on even though I knew if I stood up I would become more drunk. He was just holding me tightly so I couldn't fall. He started to rock back and forth that was a little scary. But he stopped when I asked him to. Jesse just kept looking at me and I kept telling him sorry because he didn't have to take care of me. He wanted to though.

After a bit Izzy's landlord kicked us out, and called the cops. I just walked into the shadows cause he told he just to go. For some reason he went back in to get Randy who later got charged. I couldn't find him and I was starting to freak out but we found each other after he ran out of the buliding. Him and I got out of there right away and went to his house which was really close. We talked for like half and hour mostly him but whatever. He ended up asking me out because I never actually got a striaght anwser. He made a comment about him not kissing me and stuff. I also found out that like myself he's also a virgin although he doesn't act like it. I had to leave so he walked him home. We were standing on his street I went to grab his hand and he did something weird and he ended up close so I kissed him and he kissed me back, FINALLY!! (gwad) It was one of those romantic kisses with the dip. It was so amazing.

So yeah that was my amazing night enjoy!

<3 Char

charleejd — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 16:44:40 GMT

I am so happy i weighed myself and I know weigh 130 thats down from 137 ish. AND NO I am not starving myself

charleejd — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 17:00:20 GMT

I like someone but I can't tell them. All I can say is that they are older then me, finally an older guy! *gasp*

hair!!!!

charleejd — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 16:12:41 GMT

charleejd — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 14:21:05 GMT

View Poll: #779398

Eeeek

charleejd — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 05:30:04 GMT

Correspondence is my bitch-lover.

OMG, its an update!

charleejd — Fri, 14 Jul 2006 03:27:49 GMT

Let me just put it this way this week has been wack!
Monday I had a fat bitchfest because like all the other girls that are doing dusk dancers are like way more skinner then me, and I felt fat in my costume. I hated my costume, I don't even know if I want to duskdancers anymore its just not fun anymore. Tuesday was a good day though. I got a bikini yeah I know I had a fat bitchfest on Monday deal with it! I got to drive home from Pembroke in my gramies baby (car) I was driving. She gave a lecture before I left, I felt like saying "I know I can drive!". Also Tuesday I went on my first legal swisha run YAY! Here are some photos!

</div>

I can't belive Mykka ID'd me. Hes knows I am 18. Whatever.
That night I when to Megz place and kinda sleptover there. Went swimming at 12am in her pool. Christa and Mel got smashed, I woke up at 3:45 am to them pukeing. Christa called Stu's mom who picked her up and me as well. I went home and scared the shit out my mom, I felt bad. I eventually went to bed at 5 and got up at 1 pm somehow I could've slept longer but my dad didn't let me. I went to the beach with Vero that evening and then went to the dairy for ice cream on the way there we saw Jason and Justin crusing. Watch So you think you can dance/ Canadas Next Top Model. Today I went swimming in my moms friends pool. Then went to the Beach with Telle, Grant, Stu and Christa. I really didn't do much today and this brings me to now.

<3 Char

charleejd — Mon, 03 Jul 2006 23:35:23 GMT

I know that I made the ride decision but I feel so shitty. If you don't know what i am talking about hes the downlo.

I found out on June 28(my bday) my cat oreo might have a brain tumor. Bad huh? Well it gets way worse. For the past few days we have been forcing pills down his throat to try and get him better. It started to help him but today he hasn't eaten and hes hiding again. So unfortantly becuase hes my lovely tweetle bug I had to make the hardesat choice in my life today. On Wensday my Oreo will be with Max. This isn't fair, I can't let go, he's mine. His birthday is even the same day as mine. I don't want to let go.

charleejd — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 17:02:14 GMT

Bonne Fete a Moi!!

charleejd — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 00:14:38 GMT

I don't think giving up had ever been so simple in my life. I have now realized that I will have no summer social life or one for the rest of the school year.

charleejd — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 00:49:05 GMT

I cut my Hair!

</div>

So it begins

charleejd — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 14:46:33 GMT

Yesterday afternoon I had a lovely panic attack in drama class and ended up talking to Mr. Madigan for an hour. It actually helped me alot because someone was listening and understanding how I was feeling. I am still in wonder why I had this panic attack maybe it was because of all the stress and the whole coupley thing I suppose.

The night was alot better though. I went home after drama because I had the worst migraine ever or atleast in a long while. So I slept for about 3 hours or so, that was nice. I went up to my grandparents to see Telle and ended up going to their place for food, man it was so good. Chicken, swiss cheese and ham is the way to go.

After eating there Telle and I walked back to my place so I could put on some make-up and get my wallet and cell. We walked down to see if we could get Date Movie sure enough we got it and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back *best stoner movie ever* So we watched Date Movie and then went to Timmies to grab some coffee or rather ice cap. As we were walking there it start to rain a bit. I called Alex Jack to see if he wanted to come over and hang he was busy.

As Telle and I were walking back to my place it really started to rain, we just kept walking but the rain got harder and harder. We got back to my house soaked. We then watched Jay and Silent Bob, while sipping Kulula in ice cap, it so good you should try it. After all the movie watching I got her to walk me through photoshop quickly and this is what i came up with.

<3 Char

charleejd — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 02:20:00 GMT

This is how I feel.

Need more friends with wings
All the angels I know
Put concrete in my veins
I’d always walk home alone
So I became lifeless
Just like my telephone

There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There’s nothing to gain
But the days don’t seem to change

Never played truth or dare
I’d have to check my mirror
To see if I’m still here
My parents had no clue
That I ate all my lunches
Alone in the bathroom

There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There’s nothing to gain
But the days don’t seem to change
There’s nothing to lose
My notebook will explain
There’s nothing to gain
And I can’t fight the pain

Teachers said "it's just a phase"
When I grow up my children
Will probably do the same
Kids just love to tease
Who'd know it put me underground at seventeen
At seventeen

There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There’s nothing to gain
But the days don’t seem to change
There’s nothing to lose
My notebook will explain
There’s nothing to gain
And I can’t fight the pain
There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There’s nothing to gain
But the days don’t seem to change
There’s nothing to lose
My notebook will explain

There’s nothing to lose
When no one knows your name
There’s nothing to gain
And I just died today</div>

Gah!

charleejd — Tue, 30 May 2006 17:51:33 GMT

I need to ESCAPE!!!!
Someone help me!

charleejd — Mon, 15 May 2006 16:14:42 GMT

I have so much on my mind it inst funny. I just want all these feelings to go away. I haven't posted in a while because I thought that no one would care to read about whats going on in my head, but as I found out this seems to be my only emotional oulet right now. All my or most of them are preocupied with there significant others. I feel so left out I do realize that i have to be content with myself inorder to want to except someone else's love but its hard these days. School, work is the basis of my life right now, I am being driven insanse by the very thought of all I have to do and what my summer will more then my likely require of me. There is this guy that I do like but I am not even sure if he notices me at co-op and no he isn't an old man. Hes a student like myself who I have seen at the last 2 punk shows in pet but I have been to scard to say anything to him, *just like me* I am way to shy for any of this.
I need a vaction far away or atleast escape for a few hours with people or whatever. I have been hurt so much these past few weeks, I do nothing and my mom freaks. I feel alone yet I know I am not. Its weird. Just need a day to sleep and reflect in my head about everything that has happened. NEED A BREAK!</div>

charleejd — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 00:03:01 GMT

It feels as if I have lost everyone. I went nowhere all weekend I mean what is that! I am always out. It kinda feels as if no one cares. Somehow I know they do, it just doesn't feel like it anymore. This pain in my chest is killing me, I feel as if I am about to fall off the edge of the world and puldge into darkness never to be seen again. All I can really think about is how almost all of my friends are hooking up and I am left with no one. Then again thats how it was for the longest time. Now I am left to sit here and think about what I could be doing. This is my own undoing though. I am not out or calling friends or any of the shit. I am typing on a keyboard wondering why I am here or even caring about any of my problems.