L Fucks up the World

You know... sometimes, no matter what you say, it doesn't make a difference. You can talk for hours and hours, and people are still going to believe what they're going to believe. Sometimes I think I should just say farewell to the online world all together, because the stress and annoyance it causes on some days just aren't worth it.

I tried my best to help work out a problem in one of our games... and it just all fell apart, anyhow. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of all the drama and the melodrama, and who can't get along, and who wants to do this, or who wants to do that. I like it much better when only me and Aus play by ourselves, offline, where there's no one that can get offended or upset or left out, and there's no problems, ever.

But I'd miss playing with my friends.. because even though it's hard to get along with a large group of people, I really want to. Though it's fun to play offline, there's something to be said for playing socially, too. It's just very difficult sometimes to combine all these people with different backgrounds and personalities and expectations and get them to mesh.

I feel like I've failed as a moderator and as a friend, and I hate that feeling. I'm very grumpy and very sad right now. And I was supposed to run another game tonight for our pirate people, and I'm too upset to, so I let all those people down, too

And I feel guilty because I even snapped at Aus, because he reached over to mess with my buddy list while I was upset, and it make me crankier. I didn't mean to. ={

So I just feel like a bad person all together right now.