Chapter X with Michael Kay

Apr 15, 2026

We don’t spend much time thinking about how we listen.

​But if you’ve ever felt misunderstood or struggled to connect with someone, you’ve probably felt its impact.

Today, I'm joined by David Joseph, MD, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst with more than fifty years of experience listening to people at a very deep level. He's devoted his career to something most of us struggle with: actually understanding what someone is trying to say.

​And for many men, especially in retirement or approaching it, this becomes more important than ever. When the structure of work falls away and relationships shift, we’re left with more space to connect, or feel disconnected.

We covered:

• Why listening is more than just hearing words
• What we miss when we focus only on what’s being said
• Why most of us aren’t as good at listening as we think
• How learning to listen to yourself changes everything
• What gets in the way of deeper conversations
• Why relationships can feel harder after leaving work
• What it means to really understand another person
  

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Resources:

Listening for a Life: The Artful Science of Psychotherapy