I Have Powers

Green Zorcerer Needs Reviews, Badly!

2014-02-24T19:05:18Z

After a month, sales of the Tales of Zo collection have been anemic, at best. Furthermore, my publisher cannot take advantage of the ebook promotion tools on Amazon until it has at least 5 reviews there.

It'd be doing me and the other authors a solid if people could post some reviews there. Just be honest about what you think of the stories within, that's all I ask.

Thanks!

Time-Fused Love-Bomb Detonation

2014-02-07T13:34:18Z

So, a love-bomb I set up more than 6 years ago finally detonated.

Back in the day, while I was writing the Zorcerer of Zo RPG, I used Older Niece as a character-generation example and used some photomanipulations of her in the book. My family has known this for a long, long time.

The other day, I'm over my mom's house where she's babysitting Younger Niece. I mention getting my softcover copy of Tales of Zo in the mail. Following conversation ensues:

YN: What's that?

ME: It's a book of my fairy tales, based on a game I wrote a couple years ago.

MOM: It's the one with ON in it.

YN: Which one?

MOM: The purple one up on the shelf in Grandpap's office.

YN: (scampers up to office and retrieves ZoZ; comes back down) This one?

ME: Yup.

YN: (climbs onto me and we flip through the book looking for the pics of ON) She's little!

ME: Yup. I wrote this a long time ago.

YN: Yeah!

ME: (slyly) You know, you're in it. But not a picture.

YN: (flabbergasted) What what what?

ME: Yeah, right here. (flips to page 54, "Example of Play") These pages are all about the adventures of Princess [YN].

YN: No way! YAAAAAAY!!! (laboriously starts reading aloud, then stops) Where's *my* picture?!?

ME: There isn't one.

YN: Why not?

ME: Well, how old are you?

YN: Seven and a half.

ME: See, I wrote this book seven years ago. When you were still a six-month old baby. So, we didn't have a good fairy-tale picture of you like we did for ON.

YN: Oh. Okay. (thinks about it) Well, you'll just have to fix that.

ME: Fix what?

YN: Put a picture of me in there now.

ME: That's... not how it works. It's out, done.

YN: (wrinkles brow) Well, my picture in the next one, then.

ME: Deal.

TALES OF ZO Collection Now Available from Amazon!

2014-01-22T21:48:22Z

Hey, folks!

Here's a book you all might be interested in...

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HY4IT8K

Yup, it's Tales of Zo, a collection of fairy tales based on my Zorcerer of Zo RPG, and features many tales by Yours Truly, amongst others.

Best part is when you buy the softcover print copy, you get a free copy of the eBook, too!

Check it out, and please pass the word along!

It's Like Science. Sorta.

2014-01-17T11:30:51Z

PRO-TIP: Deer like stale rye bread.

(Seeded, of course. I'm not a barbarian.)

What I Did Yesterday

2014-01-14T13:44:25Z

So, this is what I did yesterday, in rough order:

* Woke up at 5:30 am.
* Made coffee (loving the new Keurig!).
* Finished hand-editing a technical standard (freelance).
* Teleconference with old work (who I'm freelancing for).
* Lit candles for the Grandmas at IC church.
* Had brunch/lunch at Shorty's with step-brother.
* Stopped at PA CareerLink to pick up employment info.
* Bought onion bagels at Nickles Thrift.
* Coffee!
* Finished electronic-editing abovementioned technical standard (freelance).
* Set up a medical appointment.
* Had bagel with cream cheese for "late lunch/early dinner" while reading Westward of Ye Laurel Hills by Helen Vogt.
* Published abovementioned technical standard (freelance).
* Paid bills online.
* Filled out the "move-in checklist" for new apartment.
* MOAR CAWFEE!!!
* Quick error-check on the text of several fairy tales based my Zorcerer of Zo game (including several by Yours Truly), due out in a small-press anthology Real Soon Now.
* Reheated some pizza and made herbal tea (Lemon Zinger, y'all).
* Watched Joss Whedon's Much Ado About Nothing on DVD, then watched it again listening to the cast commentary.
* Crashed around 2:30 am.

So, all-in-all, a typical day.

Declutterfest 3: Return of the Book-i

2013-12-03T20:41:07Z

DC Metro peoples, yet another.

Okay, folks, Declutterfest 3 is a go for this weekend.

And now, we enter the Office, where the good stuff lives!

As before, it’s SOP: Saturday; anytime after noon. I provide pizza, beer, Coke, and water (BYOB otherwise), and you bring two boxes: one for me, and one for you). (I’ll probably also hit Staples and get 4-8 boxes this week anyway.)

We go through my stuff (books, games, computer equipment, comics/graphic novels), and you take what you want. Every 3 to 8 books is 3 to 8 less books going to a good home than I have to deal with in my eventual “estate sale” of books.

NOTE: There is a lot of dust and two cats, so plan accordingly if you are allergic.

I’d really like there to be at least 4 people here, to maximize people getting cool stuff.

Lemme know if you’re game.

Check This Out!

2013-12-02T00:34:52Z

Two great t-shirt designs that I dig:

More: ReagencyDesign

I am Literally Crying in Relief

2013-11-28T07:18:59Z

Thank you. Thank you all.

In the space of roughly 12 hours due to an FB post and a locked LJ post, I have gone from "abject terror" to "moderate concern". I'm about 90% at rent payment right now, which is so much better than 65% (where I was this afternoon).

That's a big, big, BIG win.

Again, I thank you.

And, now I have a few favors to repay. No worries, they're all good -- mostly pointing at stuff that I actually think is cool, and didn't know about previously, that my friends are producing.

Stories, poems, t-shirts, handcrafts, jams/jellies/preserves, games, tea blends, all kindsa stuff. Look for mentions after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, because maximizing pageviews. Please note: all of this stuff makes excellent Xmas gifts.

Just sayin'.

BTW, I'm not kidding about the subject line here. I am crying right now.

Declutterfest 2: Electric Boogaloo on for Saturday!

2013-11-22T01:18:33Z

DC Metro area people, swing by!

So, come over to chadu’s Deluxe Apartment in the Sky-y-y and do more sorting of books and stuff! People are welcome to take anything I don’t want to keep.

Festivities begin at noon and will last until they’re done. Ping me on email for the address and parking info. As before, I will provide pizza and beer/Coke/water (any other beverages, please BYOB).

However, there’s a twist this time: please bring 2 boxes — file/bankers box or U-Haul Small boxes are fine; anything stackable. One’s for me, one’s for you (if you want anything).

The goal for this Declutterfest is to sort my staging area/living room: I’m overrun with already packed boxes that need to be stacked somewhere to free up the space. This includes both my keeper boxes and the get-rid-of boxes. (Again, you’re welcome to sort through the GRO boxes before we sort and stack.)

Also, there’s still 2 bookcases of fresh books to sort through, and a crapload of DVDs.

So, let me know if you’re interested in free books, comics, objets d’art, and other mysteries!

Thanks!

Declutterfest 1 was AWESOME!

2013-11-11T04:49:48Z

Declutterfest Weekend #1 was really effective. Got a bunch of stuff sorted, lots of useful stuff taken to be used by others, furniture rearranged to aid cleaning, and even a little cash into the “Chadu is SCREWED” fund. (Also, a special pile of “stuff to keep” and “stuff to keep to sell” that I need to sort this week.)

All in all, four three-foot stacks of books sorted, gifted, and collected into boxes. Will make it easier for folks to look through for stuff that they want, and the eventual estate sale I plan on pursuing for my library.

Also cuddles and flirtation with interesting/attractive people. (Yay!)

Good weekend.

Really good weekend.

Since even in the best possible scenario for my future, earliest for moving is mid-January 2014, I think I’ll have Declutterfests biweekly henceforth.

The hookah, lava lamp, Cuisinart, and kitchen aid mixer are gone or claimed, but I still have Hulk hands, artwork, a bunch of comics and RPGs, and a metric fuckton of books.

But, now I have room to stage stuff. And room to clean.

I’m still in dire straits, still, but signs are good!

If you’re in the DC area, take a look right here in a couple weeks for Declutterfest #2!

DC Metro Peeps, What’re You Doing on Saturday/Sunday?

2013-11-08T03:18:55Z

Friends:

I am cleaning my Alexandria, VA, apartment this weekend for an upcoming inspection, but also (hopefully) for my move back to SW PA.

It’s easier for me to clean if someone else is there, even if they don’t do anything. Just someone to talk to and joke with.

So, I need to shed myself of a lot of STUFF, both ways, and that includes a whole heaping helping bunch of books (I’m talking thousands). Science fiction, usual fiction, biography, history, reference volumes, comic books, game books, criticism, mythology and fairy tales, lots of stuff.

(Bring a box or bag.)

Most important is to shed them, but if you find any value in whatever you find, a few pennies would help my considerably scary bottom line for November. Your choice; no worries — more important to get this stuff out.

Plus, I have various objets d’art, dead computer equipment, and DVDs that could be of interest.

Then again, if you’re just into vacuuming or mopping, swing by. I’ll get pizza, soda, and beer. (Maybe wine, if there are some that prefer such.)

Contact me at chadu AT yahoo PERIOD com, if you’re interested.

If not, cool.

It’s all good. Just wanted to offer.

The Zorcerer of Zo is back in Print (on Demand)!

2013-10-07T23:15:27Z

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/302158_The_Zorcerer_of_Zo_is_back_in_#ctop

Finally, the Zorcerer of Zo is back in Print (on Demand).

Just in time, in advance of our first collection of Zo-based fairy tales, from many authors, coming out soon from Uncanny Books!

Willy Wonka: The suspense is terrible… I hope it’ll last.

Feel free to buy an e-copy or a PoD physical thingy. Get ready for the Tales.

You will not be disappointed, I swear by Zo-Lion.

Cacio e Pepe Experiment v.2 & v.3!

2013-09-13T05:22:58Z

I've been a-pasta-cookin' up a storm this week!

Check the details out here:

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/301388_Cacio_e_Pepe_Experiment_v.2_+_

Most Recent Food Experiment (Cacio e Pepe)...

2013-09-12T02:21:10Z

... is detailed here:

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/301219_Cacio_e_Pepe_Experiment

I've done a second experiment (with the Good Cheeses and the right amount of properly-coarse black pepper), but I need time to write up the lab notes!

All I can say is: WOW! The seemingly small difference in ingredients and amounts, in even such a simple dish, has wide-ranging effects!

PICTURE!

I'll write up a more detailed review for LGF later, but I gotta say -- whatta surprise!

Chadtoberfest 42

2013-08-19T17:41:18Z

Happy birthday to me.

All Creatures Will Make Merry... Under Penalty of Death!

Or, for browsers that can't read a marquee tag:

All Creatures Will Make Merry...

Under Penalty of Death!

Hail, Ming!

ALSO: As I am 42 this year, I am also the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

That answer, in detail, is: Entropy increases... unless you do something about it.

Clambake Couscous: A 4th of July Yummy Experiment

2013-07-04T19:14:32Z

So, I didn’t want to leave my apartment this Fourth, for REASONS, so I decided to try to cook something out of my cupboards. As this was a totally random thing, I was surprised it ended up edible, much less tasty!

Total (food) science experiment here.

I’ll step through what I did, and provide the ingredients list at the end.

1. Heavy skillet, double pat of butter (flavor), dollop of peanut oil (smokepoint), dollop of good olive oil (flavor). Medium heat.

2. Add a minced clove of garlic. Saute for 2 minutes.

3. Add a drained 15 oz can of sliced new/white potatoes. Saute for 3 minutes; higher heat; cover for 3 minutes; saute again for 2 minutes. (Half a pat of butter if it needs it, but it shouldn’t.)

4. Add a semi-drained 6.5 can of clams, using 1/3 the clam juice. (Kosher and halal folks, you can probably replicate this with the same amount of chicken dark meat and about an 1/8 cup of chicken stock. That’s just theory, mind you; haven’t tried it.)

5. A handful of wakame (half a cup?), post-soaking for 5 minutes in cold water. I assume you can use any reconstituted seaweed you have on hand; I had wakame.

6. Stir. Cook. Cover, and let sit 2 or 3 minutes.

7. Add a drained 4.5 oz can of button mushrooms. (Other mushrooms would change the flavor profile for good or ill; again, I’m using what was on hand.)

8. Stir. Cook. Cover, and let sit 2 or 3 minutes.

9. Add a drained 15 oz can of corn. Stir. Add a gratuitous amount of black pepper, a dash of cayenne, a double dash of smoked Hungarian paprika, and a dash each of basil and oregano.

10. This is the time to add a half-bottle of beer. Let it cook for 5-7 minutes, then cover for 3.

11. Start the couscous process: Boil the salted/buttered water per the instructions on the box.

12. Remove the “clambake preparation” from heat and let rest.

13. Wait for the couscous water to boil.

14. After boil, turn off heat, add couscous, and cover. Wait 7-10 minutes.

15. Fluff couscous with fork.

16. Scoop out some couscous and cover it with clambake preparation.

17. ENJOY!

INGREDIENTS:
Butter, peanut oil, olive oil = a little.
Clove of garlic, minced.
15 oz can of sliced new/white potatoes
6.5 can of clams, and 1/3 the clam juice. (Kosher and halal: 4 oz chicken dark meat, 1/8 cup of chicken stock)
handful/half-cup of reconstituted seaweed (I used wakame)
4.5 oz can of mushrooms
15 oz can of corn
black pepper, smoked paprika, cayenne, basil, and oregano to taste
1 half-bottle of beer (I used an IPA)
1 cup couscous

I must say, this dish is damned tasty — I’m eating more of it now.

NOM NOM NOM

Give it a whirl, folks, and let me know what you think.

So, This Just Happened: Balcony Rescue

2013-06-02T19:11:53Z

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/297858_So_This_Just_Happened-_Balcony

So, I was sitting on my balcony: smoking, drinking beer, and reading Diego Gambetta’s Codes of the Underworld, when I hear someone yelling.

It’s my neighbor, two apartments over. She’s been locked out of her apartment, stuck on her balcony. Can I help her?

Sure.

First, I go down the hall and see if her front door is open. No dice. Locked.

Second, I go down to the concierge to get the rental agent on duty to get the master key to open my neighbor’s door. That works — but the chain is on.

Third, I attempt to slip the chain through various means (with the rental agent there), to no avail. I suggest we call the super on duty to bring up some bolt-cutters.

Fourth, super on duty shows up without bolt-cutters. He decides it’s best to try to break the chain through main force. He gives it 2 or 3 tries with no joy.

Fifth, I suggest he go get some bolt-cutters and I’ll try to break the chain while he’s gone. He agrees.

Sixth, never underestimate a fat man with a knowledge of physics. One shoulder-slam, and the chain was broke. The engineer hadn’t taken two steps away yet.

“You’re strong,” he said.

“Not really,” I replied.

Seventh, neighbor is rescued from her balcony — the problem is that the locking mechanism on her sliding door was totally broken, and was usually set as unlocked. This time, it shifted to locked.

So, all is well, neighbor is rescued, and I feel a little bit like a superhero.

Weirdest thing to happen to me in a month.

Thin Black Line: The (Unoffical) Order of Saint Cecil Sourcebook for Unknown Armies

2013-03-28T19:16:42Z

w00t!

It's finally out in honor of TableTop Day!

Thin Black Line is a free, non-canonical, PDF-only supplement for Unknown Armies, the roleplaying game where players become movers and shakers in the occult underground, kicking ass and taking names in a world of transcendental horror and furious action.

http://www.atlas-games.com/product_tables/AG6009.php

BONUS: It's absolutely free!

Help for a Friend

2013-02-28T02:26:05Z

A friend of mine needs help. Please read, and if you can donate (however little), she'll appreciate it.

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/294384_Dedicated_Idiocy_-_a_Personal_

Check it out.

I'mma Gonna Commit Lame-Ass Poetry

2013-02-23T03:41:48Z

There,
At that light on the Mall,
I saw you.
And you saw me.

You: on foot.
Me: in my car.

You raised your scarf to cover your face, purposefully,
And looked away,
Only to look sidelong, repeatedly, as I waited at the red
To ripen into green.

Oh, I looked sidelong too, many times,
Trying to determine if I was crazy or just wishful (or wistful)
Or maybe even in anyways correct in what I thought was happening.

"You're mad," I said to myself.
"It's a mad world," myself replied.

Red bore green fruit.
You crossed;
I turned.
And again our paths led away.

Only one stolen glance as our eyes locked, for the merest second.

And, we were again alone.

Was it really you, in fact?
Improbable.

Was it really you, in truth?
Probably.

Was it really me?
Definitely.

It was a melancholy ride home,
Perfumed with my failures.

Which are many.

Zorcery!

2013-01-31T02:32:15Z

I successfully ordered 3 new copies of the Zorcerer of Zo from Lulu. That was harder than you'd think.

One is on my desk (good luck charm), one is in my file of printed works, and one is "flexible" -- I can gift it or keep it as I want.

It's a small "mwah-ha-ha", but it's mine.

Huh; I Suck

2013-01-09T14:58:53Z

I have no idea how to tell a story.

Settings, sure; characters, sometimes; actual story, nada.

This is the Scout Law

2012-07-25T02:20:53Z

BSA National:

Your recent statement has perverted every single thing I believed Scouts were about.

Let's examine BSA National's opinions on gay and/or atheist Scouts in light of the Scout Law.

A Scout is:

Trustworthy: Excluding former Scouts that happen to be gay or atheist obviates trust.

Loyal: Excluding former Scouts that happen to be gay or atheist makes a mockery of loyalty.

Helpful: Exclusion is helpful, how?!

Friendly: BSA National is the opposite of friendly to our gay and atheist Scouts.

Courteous: Announcing their annoyance and lack of brotherhood with gay Scouts is the opposite of courtesy.

Kind: You have to be fucking kidding me.

Obedient: Oh, and here's the rub, BSA National. There's being obedient to your dictates, or being obedient to the actual Scout Law. You lose.

Cheerful: Not applicable.

Thrifty: Not applicable.

Brave: Those Eagles who have returned their medals/badges are brave as hell. Those who retain them to beat the heck out of you from inside, no less so. The only ones not brave here, BSA National, is *you*.

Clean: Not applicable.

Reverent: I interpret this as a respect for religious beliefs, even if they are not my own. Thus, I am reverent when a Buddhist or a Methodist or a Muslim or a Quaker evinces religious belief. That encompasses the possibility of rejection of any belief. Any atheist, who respects the beliefs of someone they deal with (even if they think those beliefs are misguided) is okay in my book.

To sum up: It is my belief that Scouting makes better men than you, BSA National. Better than the organization's stated opinions. Better than your fear and your idiocy.

Chad Underkoffler, Eagle Scout 1987, Troop 1305, ATC

Dead Inside, 2nd Edition

2012-01-05T14:45:15Z

Hey, long time no LJ post! Anywho...

For those of you who don't follow Twitter, I've started brainstorming ideas for a new edition of Dead Inside (my first RPG) with a group of folks I've dubbed "the Utter Bastards" because they finally convinced me, kicking and screaming, that this would be a good idea.

Because it's not like I'm working on... 3 or 4 other freelance RPG products right now.

GENIUS: I HAZ IT.

For those of you who've read it or played DI, feel free to comment on this post about what it mean to you, what you liked about it, what you hated about it, anything and everything.

It'll go into the hopper o' ideas.

Thanks!

For the 99% - The NEW COMMON SENSE

2011-11-15T17:32:34Z

A challenging and thoughtful document. As @gmskarka called it over on Twitter: "Coherent, constitutionally-sound, and soberly adult. So it doesn't fit the "entitled hippy" narrative & has been ignored."

http://anoncentral.tumblr.com/post/12409353866/for-the-99-the-new-common-sense-must-distribute

Give it a read.