The Tale of Jennifer Young and the Microwave Heated Christmas Dinner Leftovers
Hey everyone, want to hear a funny story?
There were no leftovers from the Young family dinner this year, but my Dad's friend Mark promised to bring me leftover Turkey from his own Christmas feast. He followed through on this promise, and I was duly and unfathomably excited by the prosepct of chowing down on this post heated meal while reading reviews of really crappy books in the comforting chill of my bedroom.
And usually, I have great balance. I mean, it's not odd for me to climb the stairs to my bedroom with a notebook tucked under one arm, a book in one hand, and a glass with a large plate balanced on top of it in the other. In fact, I tend to have worse luck with plates when I'm actually holding onto them.
But this time I tripped...
... and the entire plate went flying. Well, perhaps flying is too graceful an adjective. It plummeted, and then made a very literal SPLAT sound effect.
Stop laughing, that's not the punchline. See, it would have been fine if the food had just fallen on the floor. Our apartment has shitty carpets and we own a long haired cat. No, the potatos and the peas and the corn and the gravy ALSO got onto my jacket, my backpack, into my hairbrush and even managed to hit my Slytherin House scarf that Margaret knitted for me last year.
What didn't Jenn want to be doing at quarter to eleven in the evening on Boxing Day? If you guessed skydiving without a parachut off the CN tower, you're wrong. Jenn didn't want to be scrubbing potatos out of the carpet when she could have concievably been eating said vegetable.
You only laugh because you can't understand my sorrow. I will now drown in the inky blackness of my cheap soya sauce (becuase I have no leftovers, I made rice for supper. Get it?). *insert melodrama here*
And why is my journal always set a day ahead of the actual date? It's like I'm posting tommorow, although it's still actually today! I can sorta see into the future. Heeeelloooo citizens of, erm, tommorow! I bring a message from the past! Don't balance dinner plates on water glasses when walking up stairs!
There were no leftovers from the Young family dinner this year, but my Dad's friend Mark promised to bring me leftover Turkey from his own Christmas feast. He followed through on this promise, and I was duly and unfathomably excited by the prosepct of chowing down on this post heated meal while reading reviews of really crappy books in the comforting chill of my bedroom.
And usually, I have great balance. I mean, it's not odd for me to climb the stairs to my bedroom with a notebook tucked under one arm, a book in one hand, and a glass with a large plate balanced on top of it in the other. In fact, I tend to have worse luck with plates when I'm actually holding onto them.
But this time I tripped...
... and the entire plate went flying. Well, perhaps flying is too graceful an adjective. It plummeted, and then made a very literal SPLAT sound effect.
Stop laughing, that's not the punchline. See, it would have been fine if the food had just fallen on the floor. Our apartment has shitty carpets and we own a long haired cat. No, the potatos and the peas and the corn and the gravy ALSO got onto my jacket, my backpack, into my hairbrush and even managed to hit my Slytherin House scarf that Margaret knitted for me last year.
What didn't Jenn want to be doing at quarter to eleven in the evening on Boxing Day? If you guessed skydiving without a parachut off the CN tower, you're wrong. Jenn didn't want to be scrubbing potatos out of the carpet when she could have concievably been eating said vegetable.
You only laugh because you can't understand my sorrow. I will now drown in the inky blackness of my cheap soya sauce (becuase I have no leftovers, I made rice for supper. Get it?). *insert melodrama here*
And why is my journal always set a day ahead of the actual date? It's like I'm posting tommorow, although it's still actually today! I can sorta see into the future. Heeeelloooo citizens of, erm, tommorow! I bring a message from the past! Don't balance dinner plates on water glasses when walking up stairs!