Evangelion, Shounen ai and the Ploar Express
I saw Polar Express today. It sucked. But I'm a little kid at heart and was duly thrilled by watching something in 3D.
The end.
I also picked up the latest volume of the Evangelion manga after seeing Kaworu on the cover. Now, I am not particularily a Kaworu fan (there is room for none but Gendo Ikari in my heart ^__^;;), but earlier experience with the manga promised deeper character development for him, and now I'm afraid I soon will be a Kaworu fangirl.
The moment he snapped the kitten's spine, I knew this was an entirely different deal than episode 24 *dies of Evangelion fangirlism*.
Anyways, I've decided that I am not just liking, but loving the manga's alternative look at the story. Sadamoto is working with a freedom that the animators didn't have- he has no money or time constraints, and his readers already know where this story is going. The changes are subtle, but telling. Shinji and Rei's relationship is a hell of a lot deeper than it was in the show for one thing, and Ritsuko's bitter nature is a bit more apparent (she attempted to strangle Rei with a tourniquet in one volume, for example). The fact that Touji actually dies in the manga is infinitely interesting, as are the repercussions his death has on Shinji, Hikari and Kensuke. They also make Kaji's assassin more obvious (and it wasn't Misato o_O). Oh, and am I ever enjoying how Kaworu is written.
*dances* Anyways, keeping in the fangirlish ranting mood, I randomly sat down and wrote what can either be called a sophisticated rant or a really, really terrible essay on... something. I was trying to talk about why I like shounen-ai, but ended up rambling on about random things. I've learned that I get way too caught up in details.
During my time in online fandoms, I cannot count the number of times I've been asked: "So, why are you a shounen-ai/slash/yaoi fan anyways?" It annoys me that you need some sort of justification to be a slash fan, even if you're like me who tends to ship het and slash pairings in equal quantity. It's led me to question my comfort level with my own female sexuality only to realize that, as my friends so often and kindly point out, I seem to be lacking in normal teenage hormones.
And thus I realized that my occasional obsessions with romantic stories really has nothing to do with romance at all. I mean, sure I love my romantic fanfiction as much as the next fangirl, but my attention tends to wane when the kissing starts, my patience for smooshy declarations of love is thin and I have yet to discover the appeal of NC-17 fics unless they contain some sort of earth shattering character anaylzation or symbolism that runs much deeper than sex.
What does this all mean?
That I'm a total geek for character development? And far to obsessed with the mechanics of writing and plotting to enjoy a good romance? Maybe and maybe not.
The most powerful driving force behind fanfiction is wish fufillment. Some people want to see their favorite characters kicking ass, other want to see their favorite characters screwing each other's brains out. A lot of people, unfortunately, attempt to sort out their self esteem issues through fanfic writing. Most people maintain a finer balance, choosing to explore the places a series didn't have time to- or didn't dare to- go. Shipping finds it's roots in fans magnefying already intense relationships between characters. You have to admit- no matter how much you may love your fandom, and no matter how well written your series of choice is, in the end it is always lacking some key component. Whether that be an ambigious ending, a question left unanswered, or unresolved sexual tension, any given story will be lacking that key scene fans were searching for desperately. That's where fandom comes in- fans taking it upon themselves to pick up the pieces and rearrange them to their liking.
When it comes to romantic fanfiction, most of the non-canonical relationships depicted are already enigmatic, posessing that certain "spark" that takes it to a higher level than most relationships. Romantic affairs are certainly some of the most passionate, intense sort of relationships out there, right up with antagionism and parent-child relations. Romance is something that almost everyone desires- afterall, wouldn't you rather have a devoted lover over a bitter rival (which, I suppose, is the logic behind most rival-shipping). More over, adding a dimension of romantic or sexual tension to any relationship often adds a layer of pathos to it as well. Take episode 24 of Neon Genesis Evangelion for example: Shinji's destruction of the final angel was emotionally painful because the audience was left with a world of "could have beens" between him and Kaworu. Whether you were truly interested in Tabris' story or not, it's difficult not to wonder what would have happened had Kaworu lived another week. Or even, simply another day (granted, this is a question the manga is now attempting to answer, but Sadamoto has chosen to approach it from a different angle by introducing Kaworu before Shinji loses everything).
In anime fandoms, it's very easy to get caught up in shounen-ai following this logic considering the difference between the treatment of male and female characters. If you're a Shoujo fan, the shounen-ai undertones flow naturally in the form of questionable fan service. If you're a Shounen fan, you've got a ton of male characters with complex relationships amongst themselves. When I was younger, I used to wonder why fandoms for Shounen fighting series are so littered with slashy goodness. Now that I'm older, I realize it's only natural.
Let's take Naruto for instance (because, aside from DBZ it's the only fighting series I really enjoy. And I'd rather not talk about DBZ slash). Although Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Tsunade and even Tenten, Kureani and Temari, are all strong (yes, even Sakura and Hinata), interesting female characters, in this Sounen universe the guys run the show. More specifically, Naruto and Sasuke run the show. The series is about Naruto and his journey from troubled mischeif maker to (hopefully) leader of his village. The series is also, to a lesser extent, about Uchiha Sasuke and his obsessive, self-destructive quest for revenge.
The rivalry between the two is an interesting one because neither of them views it the same way. Sasuke has a superiority/inferiority complex like no one's business and needs to prove that Naruto could never be better than him. Naruto just wants Sasuke to tell him that he's worth something. They fight because they need something from each other to satisfy their respective complexes, unfortunately those needs run counterpoint to each other and neither of them would ever agree on compromise. On top of this fascinating dynamic, Kishimoto has put quite a bit of effort into developing their relationship as the most prominent one in the entire series. Their multi-chapter, angst-drenched climatic battle was certainly one of the emotional high points of the series (all SSJ3 Sasuke jokes aside). Sasuke attempted to kill Naruto out of some strange devtotion to their friendship. Naruto basically said he didn't care if the entire village started hating him again, he'd never give up on Sasuke.
Now, fans can hardly be blamed for wanting to take this relationship as more than it is. Canonically, we can say that Sasuke is so socially retarded that Naruto is the closest thing he has to a friend, and that Naruto's devotion to Sasuke has more to do with his strength of moral character than any sort of romantic love. But still, you have to admit that there is something grand and sweeping to it- fan-pairings like this are the harlequin romance of the younger generations. Two angsty indviduals finding angsty solace with each other. Most fans following the series want to see Naruto save Sasuke in the same way he saved Gaara and Neji,unless of course they're like me and want to see Sasuke fall so far he can't get back up but that's just because I'm a sick twisted fan who likes to see her favorite characters suffer.
(I just realized that I've been writing this rant so long I forgot what my point was.)
Oh, yes. Why people slash, why I slash, why slash makes the world go round. ^_^;;
To tell you the truth, the reason I was thinking about this in the first place had to do with Leslie's reaction to something Ryuuguu-related that I wrote the other night. (For those of you who are like: "WTF? Ryuuguu?", it's a fantasy novel series I'm working on with three of my closest friends). This piece she was reading predictably was about Omoidasu and featured two scenes with Julidan which Leslie had extreme fangirl "Oh wow, that's romantic!" reaction to. I just kind of tipped my head and said: "Is it?"
I know most of you have no idea what Ryuuguu is or who Omoidasu and Julidan are, so I will try to explain this briefly. Omoidasu is a very pretty, four thousand year old crossdressing half-gryphon who is seriously fucked up in the head. Julidan is a sort-of heroic, somewhat naive half-dragon who has been seriously fucked over in life. They're both part of this wonderful little community called Ryuuguu which is completely made up of people who are totally fucked in some metaphoricalor literal capacity. I write Omoidasu, Leslie writes Julidan and over the past few years their relationship has gotten steadily less platonic. Leslie has a serious fondness for them as a couple and thinks it's absolutely the most adorable thing in the entire world, although she refuses to ever write it as canon in the actual series. I am also very fond of the two as a couple, but I realized last night that it was for an entirely different reason.
While Leslie finds their relationship romantic, I find it... necessary. It was not my intention in the beginning to have Omoidasu fall madly in love with Julidan (which he, stupidly, does), but I now recognize that his relationship with Julidan is just a reflection of his bigger problems. The nature of their love is unrequited- Omoidasu is too scared to do anything and Julidan is too dense to understand what's going on between them. That Omoidasu torments himself with this situation simply fits into the general pattern of his life, however it is an issue which the audience can easily identify with. Afterall, it's easier to understand someone who can't admit that they're in love than it is to understand someone who tries to hard to remove themselves from feeling and doing basic "mortal" things that they basically bury themselves in unresolved problems.
So what's the point of this long, boring, insanely rambly rant? I will now tell you because after those two pointless diversions, I'm sick of writing it.
Point #1: In it's most basic form, people don't just like slash because of the allure of mansex. Mansex is only one of the compounding reasons- people like slash because it bridges the gaps between characters and love is easy to identify with.
Point #2: Most fandom pairings, slash or het, follow this logic.
Point #3: I personally like most of the pairings I do because they imply interesting things about the characters involved rather than because I think the idea is romantic.
Point #4: This rant is not conclusive since it's only about half of what I wanted to say and twice what I wanted to write.
Also, I highly doubt this, but if any of my rl friends reading this happen to have a copy of Mark Twain's The Mysterious Stranger in book form laying around, I'd appreciate it if they would lend it to me. ^___^ And no, this has nothing to do with my continuing quest to fully comprehend Evangelion. *coughs nervously*
The end.
I also picked up the latest volume of the Evangelion manga after seeing Kaworu on the cover. Now, I am not particularily a Kaworu fan (there is room for none but Gendo Ikari in my heart ^__^;;), but earlier experience with the manga promised deeper character development for him, and now I'm afraid I soon will be a Kaworu fangirl.
Anyways, I've decided that I am not just liking, but loving the manga's alternative look at the story. Sadamoto is working with a freedom that the animators didn't have- he has no money or time constraints, and his readers already know where this story is going. The changes are subtle, but telling. Shinji and Rei's relationship is a hell of a lot deeper than it was in the show for one thing, and Ritsuko's bitter nature is a bit more apparent (she attempted to strangle Rei with a tourniquet in one volume, for example). The fact that Touji actually dies in the manga is infinitely interesting, as are the repercussions his death has on Shinji, Hikari and Kensuke. They also make Kaji's assassin more obvious (and it wasn't Misato o_O). Oh, and am I ever enjoying how Kaworu is written.
*dances* Anyways, keeping in the fangirlish ranting mood, I randomly sat down and wrote what can either be called a sophisticated rant or a really, really terrible essay on... something. I was trying to talk about why I like shounen-ai, but ended up rambling on about random things. I've learned that I get way too caught up in details.
During my time in online fandoms, I cannot count the number of times I've been asked: "So, why are you a shounen-ai/slash/yaoi fan anyways?" It annoys me that you need some sort of justification to be a slash fan, even if you're like me who tends to ship het and slash pairings in equal quantity. It's led me to question my comfort level with my own female sexuality only to realize that, as my friends so often and kindly point out, I seem to be lacking in normal teenage hormones.
And thus I realized that my occasional obsessions with romantic stories really has nothing to do with romance at all. I mean, sure I love my romantic fanfiction as much as the next fangirl, but my attention tends to wane when the kissing starts, my patience for smooshy declarations of love is thin and I have yet to discover the appeal of NC-17 fics unless they contain some sort of earth shattering character anaylzation or symbolism that runs much deeper than sex.
What does this all mean?
That I'm a total geek for character development? And far to obsessed with the mechanics of writing and plotting to enjoy a good romance? Maybe and maybe not.
The most powerful driving force behind fanfiction is wish fufillment. Some people want to see their favorite characters kicking ass, other want to see their favorite characters screwing each other's brains out. A lot of people, unfortunately, attempt to sort out their self esteem issues through fanfic writing. Most people maintain a finer balance, choosing to explore the places a series didn't have time to- or didn't dare to- go. Shipping finds it's roots in fans magnefying already intense relationships between characters. You have to admit- no matter how much you may love your fandom, and no matter how well written your series of choice is, in the end it is always lacking some key component. Whether that be an ambigious ending, a question left unanswered, or unresolved sexual tension, any given story will be lacking that key scene fans were searching for desperately. That's where fandom comes in- fans taking it upon themselves to pick up the pieces and rearrange them to their liking.
When it comes to romantic fanfiction, most of the non-canonical relationships depicted are already enigmatic, posessing that certain "spark" that takes it to a higher level than most relationships. Romantic affairs are certainly some of the most passionate, intense sort of relationships out there, right up with antagionism and parent-child relations. Romance is something that almost everyone desires- afterall, wouldn't you rather have a devoted lover over a bitter rival (which, I suppose, is the logic behind most rival-shipping). More over, adding a dimension of romantic or sexual tension to any relationship often adds a layer of pathos to it as well. Take episode 24 of Neon Genesis Evangelion for example: Shinji's destruction of the final angel was emotionally painful because the audience was left with a world of "could have beens" between him and Kaworu. Whether you were truly interested in Tabris' story or not, it's difficult not to wonder what would have happened had Kaworu lived another week. Or even, simply another day (granted, this is a question the manga is now attempting to answer, but Sadamoto has chosen to approach it from a different angle by introducing Kaworu before Shinji loses everything).
In anime fandoms, it's very easy to get caught up in shounen-ai following this logic considering the difference between the treatment of male and female characters. If you're a Shoujo fan, the shounen-ai undertones flow naturally in the form of questionable fan service. If you're a Shounen fan, you've got a ton of male characters with complex relationships amongst themselves. When I was younger, I used to wonder why fandoms for Shounen fighting series are so littered with slashy goodness. Now that I'm older, I realize it's only natural.
Let's take Naruto for instance (because, aside from DBZ it's the only fighting series I really enjoy. And I'd rather not talk about DBZ slash). Although Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Tsunade and even Tenten, Kureani and Temari, are all strong (yes, even Sakura and Hinata), interesting female characters, in this Sounen universe the guys run the show. More specifically, Naruto and Sasuke run the show. The series is about Naruto and his journey from troubled mischeif maker to (hopefully) leader of his village. The series is also, to a lesser extent, about Uchiha Sasuke and his obsessive, self-destructive quest for revenge.
The rivalry between the two is an interesting one because neither of them views it the same way. Sasuke has a superiority/inferiority complex like no one's business and needs to prove that Naruto could never be better than him. Naruto just wants Sasuke to tell him that he's worth something. They fight because they need something from each other to satisfy their respective complexes, unfortunately those needs run counterpoint to each other and neither of them would ever agree on compromise. On top of this fascinating dynamic, Kishimoto has put quite a bit of effort into developing their relationship as the most prominent one in the entire series. Their multi-chapter, angst-drenched climatic battle was certainly one of the emotional high points of the series (all SSJ3 Sasuke jokes aside). Sasuke attempted to kill Naruto out of some strange devtotion to their friendship. Naruto basically said he didn't care if the entire village started hating him again, he'd never give up on Sasuke.
Now, fans can hardly be blamed for wanting to take this relationship as more than it is. Canonically, we can say that Sasuke is so socially retarded that Naruto is the closest thing he has to a friend, and that Naruto's devotion to Sasuke has more to do with his strength of moral character than any sort of romantic love. But still, you have to admit that there is something grand and sweeping to it- fan-pairings like this are the harlequin romance of the younger generations. Two angsty indviduals finding angsty solace with each other. Most fans following the series want to see Naruto save Sasuke in the same way he saved Gaara and Neji,
(I just realized that I've been writing this rant so long I forgot what my point was.)
Oh, yes. Why people slash, why I slash, why slash makes the world go round. ^_^;;
To tell you the truth, the reason I was thinking about this in the first place had to do with Leslie's reaction to something Ryuuguu-related that I wrote the other night. (For those of you who are like: "WTF? Ryuuguu?", it's a fantasy novel series I'm working on with three of my closest friends). This piece she was reading predictably was about Omoidasu and featured two scenes with Julidan which Leslie had extreme fangirl "Oh wow, that's romantic!" reaction to. I just kind of tipped my head and said: "Is it?"
I know most of you have no idea what Ryuuguu is or who Omoidasu and Julidan are, so I will try to explain this briefly. Omoidasu is a very pretty, four thousand year old crossdressing half-gryphon who is seriously fucked up in the head. Julidan is a sort-of heroic, somewhat naive half-dragon who has been seriously fucked over in life. They're both part of this wonderful little community called Ryuuguu which is completely made up of people who are totally fucked in some metaphorical
While Leslie finds their relationship romantic, I find it... necessary. It was not my intention in the beginning to have Omoidasu fall madly in love with Julidan (which he, stupidly, does), but I now recognize that his relationship with Julidan is just a reflection of his bigger problems. The nature of their love is unrequited- Omoidasu is too scared to do anything and Julidan is too dense to understand what's going on between them. That Omoidasu torments himself with this situation simply fits into the general pattern of his life, however it is an issue which the audience can easily identify with. Afterall, it's easier to understand someone who can't admit that they're in love than it is to understand someone who tries to hard to remove themselves from feeling and doing basic "mortal" things that they basically bury themselves in unresolved problems.
So what's the point of this long, boring, insanely rambly rant? I will now tell you because after those two pointless diversions, I'm sick of writing it.
Point #1: In it's most basic form, people don't just like slash because of the allure of mansex. Mansex is only one of the compounding reasons- people like slash because it bridges the gaps between characters and love is easy to identify with.
Point #2: Most fandom pairings, slash or het, follow this logic.
Point #3: I personally like most of the pairings I do because they imply interesting things about the characters involved rather than because I think the idea is romantic.
Point #4: This rant is not conclusive since it's only about half of what I wanted to say and twice what I wanted to write.
Also, I highly doubt this, but if any of my rl friends reading this happen to have a copy of Mark Twain's The Mysterious Stranger in book form laying around, I'd appreciate it if they would lend it to me. ^___^ And no, this has nothing to do with my continuing quest to fully comprehend Evangelion. *coughs nervously*