The Patriots
For all of you who have ever played Metal Gear Solid: Sons of Liberty... a complete and compiled list of THE PATRIOTS!
Leslie, Caily and I worked hard to put this together. We risked our arms and our legs and our... chocolate granola bars in order to uncover these TWELVE SACRED NAMES!
And thus...
The Patriots Are...
Citan Uzuki (Xenogears)- He knows everything. EVERYTHING I tell you.
The Cigarette Smoking Man (The X-Files)- Why else do you think the Tobacco company is still in business?
Hal 'Otacon' Emmerich (Metal Gear Series)- Don't you get the feeling there are things he's NOT telling Snake? ^ ^ (Jenn likes Otacon)
Meryl Silverburg (Metal Gear Series)- Seeing as she's suddenly ALIVE, she nedded a good excuse to have broken up with Snake. Besides, we needed a token female on this list.
Aunt Jemima (Pancake and Syrup)- Her Maple Syrup is suspiciously delicious. And her and 'Uncle Ben' of 'Uncle Ben's Instant Rice' are in cohorts to keep racism alive and kicking in the states. Think about it- Uncle Ben is a black man. He is on the box of grain rice. Rice is grown IN A FIELD. During the slave trade, African natives were forced to work IN THE FIELDS! Do you part in promoting multi-culturalism and boycott Ben's Rice!
Snuffeluffagus (Sesame Street)- The minister of Finace.
Vernon Huntley (Caily's Dad)- Who was shredding ILLEGAL documents in his ILLEGAL paper shredder behind us while we were paranoidly writing this paranoid list. And singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. Loudly.
Garak (Deep Space Nine)- The Patriots need someone around to keep their clothes spiffy looking.
BUgs Bunny (Loony Tunes)- That Rabbit is always so damn sure of himself.
Mr. Simony (our High School's new Vice Principle)- There is something fundamentally wrong with this man. He's either a patriot or a schizophrenic pedophile who kills people and hides their body parts under his floorboards, but eventually those dismembered limbs will begin to smell really, really bad and the police will catch him and it will be the crime of the year and when we look back on him, his sociopathic-psyco-murderer nickname will be: 'Simon Says'! ... and he wears an ugly suit.
The Elder (Legacy of Kain Series)- He orchestates stuff like an orchestrater. Besides, he's played by Tony-whats-his-name... you know! The guy who plated Frollo in 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'! And Megabyte in 'Reboot'!
Eriol Hiiragizawa (Card Captor Sakura)- It's that hat. It follows no actually laws of physics and is uber-1337 beyond all comprehension of man. That takes some major, political power. Besides, he's ALSO the Lord of Mordor (as dictated by Google.ca), so master manipulator of the United States of America isn't a far leap.
Well, that made me feel a great deal better than my last post did. ^ ^
Leslie, Caily and I worked hard to put this together. We risked our arms and our legs and our... chocolate granola bars in order to uncover these TWELVE SACRED NAMES!
And thus...
The Patriots Are...
Citan Uzuki (Xenogears)- He knows everything. EVERYTHING I tell you.
The Cigarette Smoking Man (The X-Files)- Why else do you think the Tobacco company is still in business?
Hal 'Otacon' Emmerich (Metal Gear Series)- Don't you get the feeling there are things he's NOT telling Snake? ^ ^ (Jenn likes Otacon)
Meryl Silverburg (Metal Gear Series)- Seeing as she's suddenly ALIVE, she nedded a good excuse to have broken up with Snake. Besides, we needed a token female on this list.
Aunt Jemima (Pancake and Syrup)- Her Maple Syrup is suspiciously delicious. And her and 'Uncle Ben' of 'Uncle Ben's Instant Rice' are in cohorts to keep racism alive and kicking in the states. Think about it- Uncle Ben is a black man. He is on the box of grain rice. Rice is grown IN A FIELD. During the slave trade, African natives were forced to work IN THE FIELDS! Do you part in promoting multi-culturalism and boycott Ben's Rice!
Snuffeluffagus (Sesame Street)- The minister of Finace.
Vernon Huntley (Caily's Dad)- Who was shredding ILLEGAL documents in his ILLEGAL paper shredder behind us while we were paranoidly writing this paranoid list. And singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. Loudly.
Garak (Deep Space Nine)- The Patriots need someone around to keep their clothes spiffy looking.
BUgs Bunny (Loony Tunes)- That Rabbit is always so damn sure of himself.
Mr. Simony (our High School's new Vice Principle)- There is something fundamentally wrong with this man. He's either a patriot or a schizophrenic pedophile who kills people and hides their body parts under his floorboards, but eventually those dismembered limbs will begin to smell really, really bad and the police will catch him and it will be the crime of the year and when we look back on him, his sociopathic-psyco-murderer nickname will be: 'Simon Says'! ... and he wears an ugly suit.
The Elder (Legacy of Kain Series)- He orchestates stuff like an orchestrater. Besides, he's played by Tony-whats-his-name... you know! The guy who plated Frollo in 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame'! And Megabyte in 'Reboot'!
Eriol Hiiragizawa (Card Captor Sakura)- It's that hat. It follows no actually laws of physics and is uber-1337 beyond all comprehension of man. That takes some major, political power. Besides, he's ALSO the Lord of Mordor (as dictated by Google.ca), so master manipulator of the United States of America isn't a far leap.
Well, that made me feel a great deal better than my last post did. ^ ^