205 g!?
I wrote another Chemistry test. It was longer and supposedly harder than the one we wrote last week, but for some reason I soared through it. The highest I can possibly get is a 97%. But I'd be surprised if I got anything below an 87%.
I know I got the last question wrong. It asked how many grams of ice were melted into 150g of water at 25C with -7.2C ice and the final temperature as 12C. I did a lot of Q=mcdeltaT and came up with something like 205g, which doesn't make sense because that's more ice than there was water. I was talking to some people after class, so I don't think anyone really got it. ^ ^ Leslie got the same answer as me, so that makes me feel a lot better. I think.
Gregory burnt me Apocolyptica and Circque de Solei's Dralion for my birthday. Yes, I know. Burnt CDs as a birthday gift. Gregory IS a cheap bastard, but if he weren't then he wouldn't be Gregory. He'd just be some guy with a crooked nose.
I'm going to go buy my Tokyo Babylon DVD today! Yey! After four years TB will finally be MINE! Mwahahaha! I can't believe Tokyo Pop is translating TB. It's going to make my printed off Scanlations even MORE wildly illegal. Ahhhh!
Oh, and Justin,
Star Wars Posse Style Script
This is mostly for Caily and Justin (pass it on to Alex and Leslie for me!) But for anyone else who is... randomly reading this for no apparent reason, it's for a film we're doing. It's... supposed to be funny. o.O
Cast
Darth Arcee --------------Caily Huntley
Aqueous ----------------- Jennifer Ferguson
Jyoutaru ------------------ Justin Watts
Darth Sparky ------------- Jenn "Sparky" Young
Cerberus ------------------Leslie Appleton
Lici Fett--------------------Alycya Moore
Yoda ----------------------Alex Jones
Jyu-stin Lawnmower------- Megan Huntley
Random Narrator ----------Alex Jones
I. the truth behind the mask
Scroll Text Reads
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (or maybe just across the harbour in Halifax), war was beginning. The former Sith Lord Darth Lupine had mysteriously disappeared and the new dark lord was proving herself more than up to the task of causing serious trouble for the Jedi Council. The only hope seemed to lie in two, unknown twins on a small backwater planet. These twins are said to possess great profeciency in the use of the force- even more so when together! Two prominent sitters on the Jedi council, Jedi Master Cerberus and Jedi Master Yoda, set out on a desperate mission to secure these two youngsters for the side of good, before the Sith could possibly find them!
... or something like that. It's not really as melodramatic as it seems. Really.
*The scene open with Jedi Master Cerberus roaming a town, as if searching for something. She is carrying Yoda with her*
Leslie: "Hey, old man? You sure we're in the right place?"
Yoda: "Indeed I am."
Leslie: "You know what? I hate kids."
Yoda: "There is no hate."
Leslie: *slowly getting more and more worked up* "No, I really, really hate kids. Like you don't even know. Hate is real- it's a nasty little feeling that starts in the pit of your stomach, then stabs outwards until you're overcome by a mad desire to STAB STAB STAB KILL THINGS DEAD!" *heave, huff, puff*
Yoda: "Hmm. Anger Managment you need."
Leslie: "I DO NOT NEED ANGER MANAGMENT!"
Yoda: "If say so, you do."
Leslie: "I'm wandering around on some primitive planet, looking for some stupid kids while reciting my lines to a stuffed toy- I think I have the right to be a little angry. The only thing that could possibly make this mission any worse was if..."
Voice: "Mwahahahahaha!"
Leslie: "Ooooooh noooooo...."
Yoda: "The Sith it is." *Leslie puts Yoda down and turns to face the Sith Lord*
Jenn: "Mwahahaha! I am the all powerful, evil Sith Lord who's identity shall remain inconspicuous!"
Leslie: "Uhhh, mistake me if I'm wrong, but aren't you Darth Sparky? The Jedi Master once known as Jen-Lyn Nightstalker?"
Jenn: *pulls hood off* "Dammnit! How did you know that!?"
Leslie: "Well, I was your Padawan, you know. Besides, the bright red shoes gave it away." *pans down to Sparky's shoes and back up again. One unhappy Sith*
Yoda: "Jen-Lyn's Padawan, you were. Explains much this does..."
Leslie: *flipping out* "Did I ask for your opinion OLD MAN!?" *calms down, turns back to Sparky, pulling out lightsaber* "Okay, Darth. Let's do this!"
Jenn: "Ah HA! But I have a new apprentince, my former Padawan Cerberus. One far superior to you. May I present DARTH ARCEE!!!"
*Arcee is shown flouncing in a field of flowers, happily singing her song.*
Jenn: *face falls* "On... second thought, I'll do this myself..."
II. on the subject of Darth Sparky's somewhatr pathetic Padawan
Jenn: *moping, sighs* "Now I need to find a new Padawan. Someone strong, someone smart, someone obiedient. But most importantly-" *pause, aquires a malicious look* "Someone EVIL..."
Caily: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" *runs on screen*
Jenn: "Oh no! You stay away from me!" *cringes and backs away*
Caily: *attatches herself to the bottom of Sparky's robe* "Master, please take me back! PLEASE! I'll do anything! Look, I even bought red shoes!" *pan down to red shoes*
Jenn: "I don't care! Get off me before you give me light-side cooties!"
Caily: *gets up* "I can be evil. I can, I really, really can! Watch Master, please! I'll... I'll... kill something! Watch, I'll kill this poor, harmless, defenseless inscent!" *pan to, um, some sort of inscent stunt double. Arcee SQUISHES it, then stares*
Jenn: "Most impressive, young Padawan." *rolls eyes*
Caily: *agahst* "Oh... no... what-what-what have I done!?" *pause, then...* "I'M A MURDERER! HOW CAN I LIVE WITH MYSELF!?"
Jenn: *smacks forhead* "Maybe I'd have better luck if I just out an ad out in the newspaper..."
III. of apprentinces and applications
Random Narrator: "Yoda and Cerberus, meanwhile, have completed their mission unhindred by the Sith thanks to Darth Arcee's absent-minded ways and Darth Sparky's asthma. They have located the twins, Aqueous and Jyoutaru. Now came the hard part..."
Leslie: "Yo, Old Man. Now that we've found the kids through a series of strange, off-screen conincidences involving cheesy lines and wacky hijinks, what do we do next?"
Yoda: "Train them for war we do, so ready for war they will be."
Leslie: *expression of disguist* "Oh, you're kidding me, right? I can't train a KID."
Jen: "I'M not a kid!
Justin: "War? I can't fight!"
Jen: "But I can. In fact, I've studied the art of lightsaber battling. Did you know that the first Jedi to ever use a lightsaber was a fifth generation Twilik woman? Back in the days before Droids were even prorammed with AI! She realized that if one channeled the force through an electronic device and created a power net..."
Leslie: "Yes, yes, yes. We know how a lightsaber works, kid. We're Jedi." *grumbles and mutters to the Yoda toy* "See, I told you this was a bad idea old man."
Jen: "In any case, my brother and I don't need to be trained." *smug look*
Justin: "We... don't?"
Jen: "Of course we don't, Jyoutaru! We're genisuses. We can teach ourselves the force!" *smug look*
Megan: :WAAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!" *runs onto screen and fall flat in the middle of this small gathering. Gets up and jumps up and down* "Train me! You can train ME! I don't know the force or anything and I really want to be someone's Padawan! Please, I'll do whatever you want!"
Leslie: *raises eyebrow* "Who... the hell are you?"
Megan: *heroic pose* "I am JYUSTIN LAWNMOWER!"
Leslie: "... Lawnmower?"
Jen: "Wasn't she a guy in the comics?"
Justin: "Don't you know that the movie is always different that the book."
Leslie: "Well, whatever the case I'm not taking him... er... her... er the kid."
Jen: "I'LL TRAIN HER!"
Yoda: "No, young Padawan Aqueous. Full Jedi you must be before apprentice you can take."
Jen: "What?"
Yoda: "On the bright side, Darth Sparky Lord of the Sith is taking applications!"
Megan: "Yaaaaaaaay! I'm going to be a Sith Lord!" *skips off happily*
*long silence*
Leslie: "Master Yoda, why did you turn that kid to the Dark Side?"
Yoda: "Even Jedi Master Cerberus has much to learn, hmm? Could not use the force, that girl. It is useful for us to send the Sith Idiots."
IV. love letters and beatings
*Arcee is reading a love letter signed simply "A Jedi admirer". She sighs and hugs the note to her heart*
Jenn: *grabs the note* "Hey, what the hell is this!?"
Caily: "Uh, um, erm, uh, NOTHING. It's NOTHING! ... please don't read it..."
Jenn: "I'll read whatever I want." *reads letter, grumbling* "WHAT!? You're fratrernizing with a JEDI!? Someone from the LIGHT SIDE!? Haven't I taught you ANYTHING!?" *smacks Arcee with the note*
Caily: *puts a hand to her cheek and stares for a few moments before freaking out* "M-m-m-MASTER YOU HIT ME! Am I supposed to tell you because you HIT me!?"
Jenn: "Yeah, that's pretty much how it works."
Caily: *blink blink* "Oh. Okay."
*long silence, broken by...*
Megan: "HEEEEEEEEEEY! DARTH SPARKY!!!!!!"
Jenn: "Hn? Who are you?"
Megan: *more heroic posing* "I'm JYUSTIN LAWNMOWER! And I want to be a SITH LORD!"
Jenn: *'dear god' look*
Caily: "Psst, hey Master. Wasn't she a guy in the comic strip?"
Jenn: *shrugs* "Whatever. The movie's always different than the book anyways."
Megan: "So, can you train me? Please, please please? Pretty please? With cookies on top?"
Random Narrator: "For the first time in her illustrious career, Darth Sparky was speechless. So she did what she should have done a long, long time ago. She quit."
Jenn: "I quit.":
Random Narrator: "And then she ran like the little girl she is."
V. in which Lici Fett is actually given something to do
Lici: *sighs* "I am soooooo bored... it's been a while since I've had a job. And all I got for my last hit was that useless Madorian Armor..." *pan to Boba Fett Lego* "My life sucks." *picks up handhel mirror and looks at herself, goes back to slouching* "And on top of it all, I have ugly hair." *sound of a door slamming open. Lici Fett jumps up* "What the...!?"
*pan over to Darth Sparky standing in the door way, huffing and puffing. She takes a whiff from her puffer, then tries to look threatening*
Jenn: "I... have... a.... job.... for..... you...." *wheezing, hacking, ying, ect.*
*possibly turn screen black and white during Lici Fett's monolouge. Pan around room, over Darth Sparky when talking about the Sith, ect.. This is a voiceover*
Lici: " 'I have a job for you'.The word's I'd been aching for like a man in the desert yearns for water, but I had my reservations about this customer. Darth Sparky, Lord of the Sith. I wasn't suere whether to bow, cower of grab my blaster. Two of the most important things a bounty hunter ever learns is that you don't get mixe up with Jei- and you don't even THINK about messing with the Sith. Around someone like that, a stray glance means a slow and painful death. But I decided to play all my cards. Darth seemed desperate. Maybe it was the asthmatic quiver in her voice. Maybe it was the way her eyes shifted nervously between glares. Or maybe it was just the fact that she was wearing bright red shoes.Whatever it was, I calmly took a seat and said:" *exit voiceover*
Lici: *calmly folding her hands* "A job, you say."
Jenn: "Yes. A job. Didn't you hear me the first time?" *coughhackwheeze, recover and glare*
Lici: "Hmmm..." *aquires innocent look* "What can you give me?"
Jenn: *deer caught in headlight look* "W-what?" *becomes calm again* "Oh yes, I almost forgot that you bounty hunters expect some sort of reprication for your deeds. In which case, I could offer you almost anything. Power, respect, weapons, planets. Hell, I could probably even hook you up with one of those hot new Ewok toys they're selling on Courascant these days..."
Lici: "Uh, cash is fine."
Jenn: *the deer sees the light again* "C--cash?" *twiddles thumbs* "Y-you mean like money?"
Lici: "Standard credits. You know- or at the vey least, Spice Run slips. Something I can SPEND."
Jenn: "Er, well you see... the problem with that is..." *coughs* "We'rekindasortaonabudget."
Lici: *grin* "A what?"
Jenn: *pulls out an... umbrella?* "This is my lightsaber."
Lici: "That's not a lightsaber, that's an umbrella."
Jenn: "Yes, well, you see my point."
*off screen voices cut in*
Caily: "MAAAAAAAAAAAAASTER!"
Megan: "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK LOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!?"
Jenn: "Ahhhh!" *pulls hood on* "If you can't do anything about them, at least hide me!"
Lici: "Uh, well give me what you can out of your pocket and I'll see what I can do."
Jenn: *looks up from underneath the hood of her cloak* "You mean you'll kill them for me? Really? You're my hero?" digs out wallet an gives Lici Fett money before hiding behind her in a vain attempt to hide*
*Arcee and Lawnmower comes on screen and look around*
Megan: "Hey, you, bounty hunter? You seen a Sith Lord around anywheres?"
Lici: *counts money, then considers* "Actually, yes. Yes I have." *calmly walks aside and yanks Darth Sparky (who yelps) to her feet* "It's been real, Darth. See ya." *leaves*
Jenn: *glowers* "I knew there was a reason I hated bounty hunters..."
VI. Cerberus goes to anger managment counciling
*Cerberus has finally taken Yoda's advice and gone to see a councilor about her anger problems. Her Psycologist is actually just Lici Fett wearing a paper mustache*
Lici: *in a phony, indiscriminable accent* "So, Jedi Cerberus, tell me when this problem of yours started."
Cerberus: *grumbles* "I suppose it would have been back when I was a Padawan."
Lici: "Hmm, really?"
Cerberus: "My... teacher." *twitches and bites something*
Lici: "Ahhh, we seemed to have touched upon something. Tell me more about this Master of yours."
Cerberus: "She was a very prestigeous Jedi. A sitter on the council and the best tactician of our age. She wasn't much of a fighter, but was very smart and designed a lightsaber that hightened battle efficiency for weak Jedi."
Lici: "Hmm, sounds like a very impressive person. Any Padawan should have been proud to have her as a Master."
Cerberus: *laughs* "But that's the thing! The irony- she sucked!"
Lici: *furrows brow and tries to keep mustache on* "What is it that you mean by that, Cerberus?"
Cerberus: "I just mean that she sucked. Despite all her credentials she just... sucked."
Lici: *still trying to keep her mustache on* "Hmm, could you explain?"
Cerberus: "Well, yes, but we'd have to go intop convinient flashback mode."
*enter convinient flashback mode where a young and impressionable Cerberus is following on the heels of Jen-Lyn Nightstalker*
Cerberus: "Master! Master! Can you teach me something?"
Jenn: *twitches* "What do you want from me?"
Cerberus: "Well, aren't Jedi supposed to be all wise and stuff! Be wise and teach me stuff. All the other Padawan's teachers do it!"
Jenn: "Okay, fine fine." *sighs and thinks* "Okay, success comes in cans, not can'ts."
Cerberus: "Wow!" *thinks* "Wait, what does that even mean."
Jenn: *shrugs* "Hell if I know... uhh. I guess it's trying to say that if you were shopping in the metaphorical Sobeys of life, you would have to look for success in the canned food isle. So it comes packaged like... Zoodles and Campbells soup. Not milk cartons, or brea bags."
Cerberus: *trying to grasp the meaning of all this* "Does that mean it's instant success? I want insta-success!"
Jenn: *shakes head gravely* "No. If it were insta-success it would come in those little styrofoam cups like Ramen Noodles. In cans it's five minutes in the microwave success, fifteen minutes stove top."
Cerberus: *face falls* "You suck."
*exit convinient flashback mode*
Lici: *quickly* "Oh my. That's terrible. Poor you. Ect. Now pay up."
Cerberus: "What?" *aquires a dangerous glare*
Lici: "300 credits a session. Pay up, biyatch, or face Yoda's wrath."
Cerberus: *grumbles, pays Lici Fett and leaves, slamming the door*
*Lici Fett grins, takes off her mustaches and counts her money*
VII. unnecessary cliches
*Darth Sparky, Arcee and Lawnmower are wandering around.*
Jenn: "I can't believe I let the slimeball Lici Fett cheat me out of my money..."
Megan: :"I'm gonna be a Sith Lord. I'm gonna be a Sith Lord!"
Caily: *reading another love note* "He said he'd meet me here..."
*and then they randomly bump into Jyoutaru, Aqueous and Yoda*
Jen: "Ahhh! Sith!"
Caily: "Ahhhh! Jedi!"
Jenn: "Ahhhh! That was random!"
Justin: "Arcee?"
Caily: *looks at letter, looks at Jyotaru and gasps* "Oh, my secret, handsome Jedi admirer!"
Jen: *looks at Jyotaru and narrows her eyes* "He's not handsome."
Caily: "But to me he is, because he's been sending me love letters! It's all tragic and beautiful! A Sith and a Jedi!"
Jenn: *dryly* "The pathos. The melodrama. I'm taking this as my cue to leave..." *leaves*
Caily: "Now we can be together forever! And stuff!"
Justin: "Uh, yeah. And stuff."
Yoda: "Uh uh. Together you cannot be."
*Jyotaru and Arcee both look at Yoda*
Caily: "What!? Why not!?"
Yoda: "Because brother and sister you are."
*Arcee and Jyoutaru look at each other*
Caily: "Ew."
Yoda: "Twins you be."
Justin: "Really ew!"
Megan: "Huh? Wait, what happened? Isn't the plot moving a little fast?"
Yoda: "Yes. Getting long, the script was. Squished, the rest of the story will be."
Jen: "And wasn't I Jyotaru's twin sister?"
Yoda: "Yes. But you really weren't."
Jen: "Then what possible relevence do I have to the plot do I have anymore?"
Yoda: "None."
Jen: *long face* "Wow... that... really sucks...." *blink* "The only thing left to do is... becomes Darth Sparky's new Padawan! Mwahahahaha!" *runs off*
Caily: "I guess that I'm good now."
Justin: "Guess so."
Megan: "What about me?"
Caily: "I really don't think anyone cares."
VIII. filler stuff that otherwise would have been important
Random Narrator: "Meanwhile, Darth Sparky had gone slightly insane due to the extreme mental strain placed upon her personage and had decided to plea her case to the Jedi council."
Jenn: "Okay, before you all pull out your lightsabers and begin slicing and dicing me, yes, I am a Sith Lord- but I come to you in peace. Okay... well, not exactly peace, but peaceably enough that chopping me into eighty-three pieces would probably be a breach of your ridiculous codes of honor. Then why am I here, you wonder? To make a simple request- lay off a little.
"Hey, don't laugh, I'm serious. How many of you are there, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? How many of US are there?
"TWO. That sounds reeeeal fair, doesn't it? Y'know, I'd like to have a discussion with whoever thought up this stupid 'there can only be two' rule in the first place. I mean, honestly, how the hell are we supposed to bring the downfall of civilization with only TWO people. It sounds nice, in theory. Makes us sound all mysterious and... hell, I don't know. It sounds pretty stupid to me.
"So you know what would make my job a bit easier? If you Jedi didn't kill of every half decent Padawan before I can even get a lightsaber in their hands. It makes sense, you helping me out. You remember that old metaphor, right? You can't have light without big dark to stick in it. You Jedi are all hoky and religious, so you understand the simple principal of BLANCE. So you need me, and I need you and in the end we're all happy and fighting an endless war until the end of time.
"Okay, on second thought, that doesn't sound too appealing. I have a better idea- why don't you just let me win? No? Yeah, I didn't think that would work... well, at least the Sith don't give lethal weapons to small children.
"... and I really don't like the way your hands are all edging towards said lethal weapons so I'll, just, um, be leaving..."
IX. Aqueous attempts to be part of the plot again
*this entire scene is done with carboard caricatures*
Jen: "Let me be your Padawan!"
Jenn: "No! Mwahahahaha!"
Jen: "Ahhhhhh!" *dies*
X. the final battle
*Arcee, Cerberus, Yoda, Jyotaru and Lawnmower all show up at Darth Sparky's base*
Jenn: "Mwahahahahahahahahaha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH--" *coughhackwheeediepuffer* "... ha... ha..." *pause* "And as an afterthought, ha."
Justin: "No! She's mad with the power!"
Leslie: "Just out of curiostiy, can you do anything other than stand unobtrusively on the sidelines and say random things?
Justin: "Um, no. Not really."
Megan: "He's pretty goo at being a random plot device."
Caily: "And he's MY BROTHER!"
Leslie: "What? Wait a second, you're that Sith, Darth Arcee!"
Caily: "I once was evil, but now I fight for the side of good!"
Jenn: "Um, hello? I exist?"
Leslie: "I will not believe that you have truly changed until I challenge you to a lightsaber battle!"
Justin: "What will that prove?"
Leslie: "Absolutely nothing. I just want to be involved in at least one lightsaber battle before this movie is out."
Caily: "In that case."
*Cerberus and Arcee fight (lego pieces) for absolutely no reason. Whee*
Leslie: "And now, Darth Sparky, it is payback time for all the evil you've done! I will defeat you and avenge all the innocence of my fragile childhood that you shattered with your dark influence!"
Jenn: *unimpressed* "You do realize how bad that line was."
Leslie: "... dude, it's Star Wars."
Jenn: "Good point. In which case... My crappy dialouge can kick your crappy dialouge's ass!"
Leslie: "What? You're ON Darth. I'm a Jedi Master. I am the undisputed LORD of bad dialouge."
Jenn: "Are you kidding me? I'm evil!"
Leslie: "Oh, you can walk the walk, but can you talk the talk?"
*all cringe*
Jenn: ":Ouch. Cliches. You have fought admirably, my old Padawan Cerberus, but now it is time. TIME TO DIE! Mwahahahah!"
*all cringe more*
Justin: "We will never die as long as we fight in the name of LOVE... er, I mean JUSTICE!"
Jenn: "You are sadly mistaken, pathetic Padawan, for the forces of darkness are far stronger than you could ever comprehend!"
Leslie: "Comprehend THIS!" *pulls out lightsaber*
Jenn: "Ha ha, how rash you are, Cerberus. Perhaps you too will turn to the dark side."
Leslie: "I will never allow myself to be your student again!"
Jenn: "Brave words, little Jedi Master, but not brave enough!"
Justin: "All's fair in love and war!"
Jenn: "Oh, you want to fight with metaphors, is that it? When life gives you lemons make lemonade!"
Leslie: "Life's a Lemon and I want my money back!"
Jenn: "Money is the root of all evil!"
Leslie: "Fear is the fear of fear itself!"
Justin: "If a tree falls in a forest and no one's around to hear it, does it really make a sound?"
Jen: *randomly here* "Actually, based on the vibrations the cracking of the trunk, plus uprooting, plus the various creatures fleeing, it is impossible for the tree NOT to make a sound."
Justin: "Uh,. it was a rethorical question."
Jenn: "And I killed you. I killed you dead."
Jen: "That you did." *falls down*
Leslie: "I'm getting sick of this. Let's just settle this the real way." *waves around her lightsaber*
Caily: "No! Stop! Everyone! This is wrong! Fighting is bad!" *all stare at Arcee, who looks about on the verge of tears She begins singing... her song*
Jenn: *looks of horror* "No... not... the song... I... can't think up any worse dialouge. Arcee has reached a depth an un-intellectualism so pathetically low that I cannot even comprehend it! AhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *brain breaks*
Leslie: "What just happened?"
Justin: "I think her brain broke."
Jenn: "Heh... heh... Jedi are silly..."
Leslie: "Well that was somewhat anti-climatic."
Justin: "Wasn't it though."
Leslie: *sighs and puts her lightsaber away* "Well, I suppose we should take you back to Courascant and get you initiated into the fold as a full Jedi. You're a hero."
Caily: "Yay! I'm a hero!"
Justin: "Can I be a hero by association?"
Leslie: *shrugs* "Sure, why not. At least then I won't have to train you."
Justin: *Guu voice* "Yaaaay."
Megan: "What about me?"
Leslie: "You know what? I really don't care. Go become the next Sith Lord or something. I just want this movie to be over so I can go back to doing something useful."
*the Jedi leave, but Lawnmower reamins with the broken Darth Sparky and dead Aqueous. An evil look overcomes her and she laughs maniaclly*
Random Narrator: "Darth Sparky was defeated an peace returned to the galaxt. Arcee, once a prisoner of the Dark Side became one of the most famous light Jedi's in history. But you don't really care about that, do you. You only care about what happened to the chick in the bikini. Perverts..."
*switch to Lici, standing against the horizon*
Lici: "Hmm... I cheated that Sith Lord out of all her money, and then that Jedi Master out of even MORE money. What do I do now." *ponders* "I know! I want to be the very best! Like no one ever was!" *Pokemon theme starts* "I want to be a POKEMON MASTER!"
the end.
we hope.
since you couldn't find it before.
Practice your lines! All sixteen of them!
I know I got the last question wrong. It asked how many grams of ice were melted into 150g of water at 25C with -7.2C ice and the final temperature as 12C. I did a lot of Q=mcdeltaT and came up with something like 205g, which doesn't make sense because that's more ice than there was water. I was talking to some people after class, so I don't think anyone really got it. ^ ^ Leslie got the same answer as me, so that makes me feel a lot better. I think.
Gregory burnt me Apocolyptica and Circque de Solei's Dralion for my birthday. Yes, I know. Burnt CDs as a birthday gift. Gregory IS a cheap bastard, but if he weren't then he wouldn't be Gregory. He'd just be some guy with a crooked nose.
I'm going to go buy my Tokyo Babylon DVD today! Yey! After four years TB will finally be MINE! Mwahahaha! I can't believe Tokyo Pop is translating TB. It's going to make my printed off Scanlations even MORE wildly illegal. Ahhhh!
Oh, and Justin,
Star Wars Posse Style Script
This is mostly for Caily and Justin (pass it on to Alex and Leslie for me!) But for anyone else who is... randomly reading this for no apparent reason, it's for a film we're doing. It's... supposed to be funny. o.O
Cast
Darth Arcee --------------Caily Huntley
Aqueous ----------------- Jennifer Ferguson
Jyoutaru ------------------ Justin Watts
Darth Sparky ------------- Jenn "Sparky" Young
Cerberus ------------------Leslie Appleton
Lici Fett--------------------Alycya Moore
Yoda ----------------------Alex Jones
Jyu-stin Lawnmower------- Megan Huntley
Random Narrator ----------Alex Jones
I. the truth behind the mask
Scroll Text Reads
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (or maybe just across the harbour in Halifax), war was beginning. The former Sith Lord Darth Lupine had mysteriously disappeared and the new dark lord was proving herself more than up to the task of causing serious trouble for the Jedi Council. The only hope seemed to lie in two, unknown twins on a small backwater planet. These twins are said to possess great profeciency in the use of the force- even more so when together! Two prominent sitters on the Jedi council, Jedi Master Cerberus and Jedi Master Yoda, set out on a desperate mission to secure these two youngsters for the side of good, before the Sith could possibly find them!
... or something like that. It's not really as melodramatic as it seems. Really.
*The scene open with Jedi Master Cerberus roaming a town, as if searching for something. She is carrying Yoda with her*
Leslie: "Hey, old man? You sure we're in the right place?"
Yoda: "Indeed I am."
Leslie: "You know what? I hate kids."
Yoda: "There is no hate."
Leslie: *slowly getting more and more worked up* "No, I really, really hate kids. Like you don't even know. Hate is real- it's a nasty little feeling that starts in the pit of your stomach, then stabs outwards until you're overcome by a mad desire to STAB STAB STAB KILL THINGS DEAD!" *heave, huff, puff*
Yoda: "Hmm. Anger Managment you need."
Leslie: "I DO NOT NEED ANGER MANAGMENT!"
Yoda: "If say so, you do."
Leslie: "I'm wandering around on some primitive planet, looking for some stupid kids while reciting my lines to a stuffed toy- I think I have the right to be a little angry. The only thing that could possibly make this mission any worse was if..."
Voice: "Mwahahahahaha!"
Leslie: "Ooooooh noooooo...."
Yoda: "The Sith it is." *Leslie puts Yoda down and turns to face the Sith Lord*
Jenn: "Mwahahaha! I am the all powerful, evil Sith Lord who's identity shall remain inconspicuous!"
Leslie: "Uhhh, mistake me if I'm wrong, but aren't you Darth Sparky? The Jedi Master once known as Jen-Lyn Nightstalker?"
Jenn: *pulls hood off* "Dammnit! How did you know that!?"
Leslie: "Well, I was your Padawan, you know. Besides, the bright red shoes gave it away." *pans down to Sparky's shoes and back up again. One unhappy Sith*
Yoda: "Jen-Lyn's Padawan, you were. Explains much this does..."
Leslie: *flipping out* "Did I ask for your opinion OLD MAN!?" *calms down, turns back to Sparky, pulling out lightsaber* "Okay, Darth. Let's do this!"
Jenn: "Ah HA! But I have a new apprentince, my former Padawan Cerberus. One far superior to you. May I present DARTH ARCEE!!!"
*Arcee is shown flouncing in a field of flowers, happily singing her song.*
Jenn: *face falls* "On... second thought, I'll do this myself..."
II. on the subject of Darth Sparky's somewhatr pathetic Padawan
Jenn: *moping, sighs* "Now I need to find a new Padawan. Someone strong, someone smart, someone obiedient. But most importantly-" *pause, aquires a malicious look* "Someone EVIL..."
Caily: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" *runs on screen*
Jenn: "Oh no! You stay away from me!" *cringes and backs away*
Caily: *attatches herself to the bottom of Sparky's robe* "Master, please take me back! PLEASE! I'll do anything! Look, I even bought red shoes!" *pan down to red shoes*
Jenn: "I don't care! Get off me before you give me light-side cooties!"
Caily: *gets up* "I can be evil. I can, I really, really can! Watch Master, please! I'll... I'll... kill something! Watch, I'll kill this poor, harmless, defenseless inscent!" *pan to, um, some sort of inscent stunt double. Arcee SQUISHES it, then stares*
Jenn: "Most impressive, young Padawan." *rolls eyes*
Caily: *agahst* "Oh... no... what-what-what have I done!?" *pause, then...* "I'M A MURDERER! HOW CAN I LIVE WITH MYSELF!?"
Jenn: *smacks forhead* "Maybe I'd have better luck if I just out an ad out in the newspaper..."
III. of apprentinces and applications
Random Narrator: "Yoda and Cerberus, meanwhile, have completed their mission unhindred by the Sith thanks to Darth Arcee's absent-minded ways and Darth Sparky's asthma. They have located the twins, Aqueous and Jyoutaru. Now came the hard part..."
Leslie: "Yo, Old Man. Now that we've found the kids through a series of strange, off-screen conincidences involving cheesy lines and wacky hijinks, what do we do next?"
Yoda: "Train them for war we do, so ready for war they will be."
Leslie: *expression of disguist* "Oh, you're kidding me, right? I can't train a KID."
Jen: "I'M not a kid!
Justin: "War? I can't fight!"
Jen: "But I can. In fact, I've studied the art of lightsaber battling. Did you know that the first Jedi to ever use a lightsaber was a fifth generation Twilik woman? Back in the days before Droids were even prorammed with AI! She realized that if one channeled the force through an electronic device and created a power net..."
Leslie: "Yes, yes, yes. We know how a lightsaber works, kid. We're Jedi." *grumbles and mutters to the Yoda toy* "See, I told you this was a bad idea old man."
Jen: "In any case, my brother and I don't need to be trained." *smug look*
Justin: "We... don't?"
Jen: "Of course we don't, Jyoutaru! We're genisuses. We can teach ourselves the force!" *smug look*
Megan: :WAAAAAAAIIIIIIIT!" *runs onto screen and fall flat in the middle of this small gathering. Gets up and jumps up and down* "Train me! You can train ME! I don't know the force or anything and I really want to be someone's Padawan! Please, I'll do whatever you want!"
Leslie: *raises eyebrow* "Who... the hell are you?"
Megan: *heroic pose* "I am JYUSTIN LAWNMOWER!"
Leslie: "... Lawnmower?"
Jen: "Wasn't she a guy in the comics?"
Justin: "Don't you know that the movie is always different that the book."
Leslie: "Well, whatever the case I'm not taking him... er... her... er the kid."
Jen: "I'LL TRAIN HER!"
Yoda: "No, young Padawan Aqueous. Full Jedi you must be before apprentice you can take."
Jen: "What?"
Yoda: "On the bright side, Darth Sparky Lord of the Sith is taking applications!"
Megan: "Yaaaaaaaay! I'm going to be a Sith Lord!" *skips off happily*
*long silence*
Leslie: "Master Yoda, why did you turn that kid to the Dark Side?"
Yoda: "Even Jedi Master Cerberus has much to learn, hmm? Could not use the force, that girl. It is useful for us to send the Sith Idiots."
IV. love letters and beatings
*Arcee is reading a love letter signed simply "A Jedi admirer". She sighs and hugs the note to her heart*
Jenn: *grabs the note* "Hey, what the hell is this!?"
Caily: "Uh, um, erm, uh, NOTHING. It's NOTHING! ... please don't read it..."
Jenn: "I'll read whatever I want." *reads letter, grumbling* "WHAT!? You're fratrernizing with a JEDI!? Someone from the LIGHT SIDE!? Haven't I taught you ANYTHING!?" *smacks Arcee with the note*
Caily: *puts a hand to her cheek and stares for a few moments before freaking out* "M-m-m-MASTER YOU HIT ME! Am I supposed to tell you because you HIT me!?"
Jenn: "Yeah, that's pretty much how it works."
Caily: *blink blink* "Oh. Okay."
*long silence, broken by...*
Megan: "HEEEEEEEEEEY! DARTH SPARKY!!!!!!"
Jenn: "Hn? Who are you?"
Megan: *more heroic posing* "I'm JYUSTIN LAWNMOWER! And I want to be a SITH LORD!"
Jenn: *'dear god' look*
Caily: "Psst, hey Master. Wasn't she a guy in the comic strip?"
Jenn: *shrugs* "Whatever. The movie's always different than the book anyways."
Megan: "So, can you train me? Please, please please? Pretty please? With cookies on top?"
Random Narrator: "For the first time in her illustrious career, Darth Sparky was speechless. So she did what she should have done a long, long time ago. She quit."
Jenn: "I quit.":
Random Narrator: "And then she ran like the little girl she is."
V. in which Lici Fett is actually given something to do
Lici: *sighs* "I am soooooo bored... it's been a while since I've had a job. And all I got for my last hit was that useless Madorian Armor..." *pan to Boba Fett Lego* "My life sucks." *picks up handhel mirror and looks at herself, goes back to slouching* "And on top of it all, I have ugly hair." *sound of a door slamming open. Lici Fett jumps up* "What the...!?"
*pan over to Darth Sparky standing in the door way, huffing and puffing. She takes a whiff from her puffer, then tries to look threatening*
Jenn: "I... have... a.... job.... for..... you...." *wheezing, hacking, ying, ect.*
*possibly turn screen black and white during Lici Fett's monolouge. Pan around room, over Darth Sparky when talking about the Sith, ect.. This is a voiceover*
Lici: " 'I have a job for you'.The word's I'd been aching for like a man in the desert yearns for water, but I had my reservations about this customer. Darth Sparky, Lord of the Sith. I wasn't suere whether to bow, cower of grab my blaster. Two of the most important things a bounty hunter ever learns is that you don't get mixe up with Jei- and you don't even THINK about messing with the Sith. Around someone like that, a stray glance means a slow and painful death. But I decided to play all my cards. Darth seemed desperate. Maybe it was the asthmatic quiver in her voice. Maybe it was the way her eyes shifted nervously between glares. Or maybe it was just the fact that she was wearing bright red shoes.Whatever it was, I calmly took a seat and said:" *exit voiceover*
Lici: *calmly folding her hands* "A job, you say."
Jenn: "Yes. A job. Didn't you hear me the first time?" *coughhackwheeze, recover and glare*
Lici: "Hmmm..." *aquires innocent look* "What can you give me?"
Jenn: *deer caught in headlight look* "W-what?" *becomes calm again* "Oh yes, I almost forgot that you bounty hunters expect some sort of reprication for your deeds. In which case, I could offer you almost anything. Power, respect, weapons, planets. Hell, I could probably even hook you up with one of those hot new Ewok toys they're selling on Courascant these days..."
Lici: "Uh, cash is fine."
Jenn: *the deer sees the light again* "C--cash?" *twiddles thumbs* "Y-you mean like money?"
Lici: "Standard credits. You know- or at the vey least, Spice Run slips. Something I can SPEND."
Jenn: "Er, well you see... the problem with that is..." *coughs* "We'rekindasortaonabudget."
Lici: *grin* "A what?"
Jenn: *pulls out an... umbrella?* "This is my lightsaber."
Lici: "That's not a lightsaber, that's an umbrella."
Jenn: "Yes, well, you see my point."
*off screen voices cut in*
Caily: "MAAAAAAAAAAAAASTER!"
Megan: "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK LOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!?"
Jenn: "Ahhhh!" *pulls hood on* "If you can't do anything about them, at least hide me!"
Lici: "Uh, well give me what you can out of your pocket and I'll see what I can do."
Jenn: *looks up from underneath the hood of her cloak* "You mean you'll kill them for me? Really? You're my hero?" digs out wallet an gives Lici Fett money before hiding behind her in a vain attempt to hide*
*Arcee and Lawnmower comes on screen and look around*
Megan: "Hey, you, bounty hunter? You seen a Sith Lord around anywheres?"
Lici: *counts money, then considers* "Actually, yes. Yes I have." *calmly walks aside and yanks Darth Sparky (who yelps) to her feet* "It's been real, Darth. See ya." *leaves*
Jenn: *glowers* "I knew there was a reason I hated bounty hunters..."
VI. Cerberus goes to anger managment counciling
*Cerberus has finally taken Yoda's advice and gone to see a councilor about her anger problems. Her Psycologist is actually just Lici Fett wearing a paper mustache*
Lici: *in a phony, indiscriminable accent* "So, Jedi Cerberus, tell me when this problem of yours started."
Cerberus: *grumbles* "I suppose it would have been back when I was a Padawan."
Lici: "Hmm, really?"
Cerberus: "My... teacher." *twitches and bites something*
Lici: "Ahhh, we seemed to have touched upon something. Tell me more about this Master of yours."
Cerberus: "She was a very prestigeous Jedi. A sitter on the council and the best tactician of our age. She wasn't much of a fighter, but was very smart and designed a lightsaber that hightened battle efficiency for weak Jedi."
Lici: "Hmm, sounds like a very impressive person. Any Padawan should have been proud to have her as a Master."
Cerberus: *laughs* "But that's the thing! The irony- she sucked!"
Lici: *furrows brow and tries to keep mustache on* "What is it that you mean by that, Cerberus?"
Cerberus: "I just mean that she sucked. Despite all her credentials she just... sucked."
Lici: *still trying to keep her mustache on* "Hmm, could you explain?"
Cerberus: "Well, yes, but we'd have to go intop convinient flashback mode."
*enter convinient flashback mode where a young and impressionable Cerberus is following on the heels of Jen-Lyn Nightstalker*
Cerberus: "Master! Master! Can you teach me something?"
Jenn: *twitches* "What do you want from me?"
Cerberus: "Well, aren't Jedi supposed to be all wise and stuff! Be wise and teach me stuff. All the other Padawan's teachers do it!"
Jenn: "Okay, fine fine." *sighs and thinks* "Okay, success comes in cans, not can'ts."
Cerberus: "Wow!" *thinks* "Wait, what does that even mean."
Jenn: *shrugs* "Hell if I know... uhh. I guess it's trying to say that if you were shopping in the metaphorical Sobeys of life, you would have to look for success in the canned food isle. So it comes packaged like... Zoodles and Campbells soup. Not milk cartons, or brea bags."
Cerberus: *trying to grasp the meaning of all this* "Does that mean it's instant success? I want insta-success!"
Jenn: *shakes head gravely* "No. If it were insta-success it would come in those little styrofoam cups like Ramen Noodles. In cans it's five minutes in the microwave success, fifteen minutes stove top."
Cerberus: *face falls* "You suck."
*exit convinient flashback mode*
Lici: *quickly* "Oh my. That's terrible. Poor you. Ect. Now pay up."
Cerberus: "What?" *aquires a dangerous glare*
Lici: "300 credits a session. Pay up, biyatch, or face Yoda's wrath."
Cerberus: *grumbles, pays Lici Fett and leaves, slamming the door*
*Lici Fett grins, takes off her mustaches and counts her money*
VII. unnecessary cliches
*Darth Sparky, Arcee and Lawnmower are wandering around.*
Jenn: "I can't believe I let the slimeball Lici Fett cheat me out of my money..."
Megan: :"I'm gonna be a Sith Lord. I'm gonna be a Sith Lord!"
Caily: *reading another love note* "He said he'd meet me here..."
*and then they randomly bump into Jyoutaru, Aqueous and Yoda*
Jen: "Ahhh! Sith!"
Caily: "Ahhhh! Jedi!"
Jenn: "Ahhhh! That was random!"
Justin: "Arcee?"
Caily: *looks at letter, looks at Jyotaru and gasps* "Oh, my secret, handsome Jedi admirer!"
Jen: *looks at Jyotaru and narrows her eyes* "He's not handsome."
Caily: "But to me he is, because he's been sending me love letters! It's all tragic and beautiful! A Sith and a Jedi!"
Jenn: *dryly* "The pathos. The melodrama. I'm taking this as my cue to leave..." *leaves*
Caily: "Now we can be together forever! And stuff!"
Justin: "Uh, yeah. And stuff."
Yoda: "Uh uh. Together you cannot be."
*Jyotaru and Arcee both look at Yoda*
Caily: "What!? Why not!?"
Yoda: "Because brother and sister you are."
*Arcee and Jyoutaru look at each other*
Caily: "Ew."
Yoda: "Twins you be."
Justin: "Really ew!"
Megan: "Huh? Wait, what happened? Isn't the plot moving a little fast?"
Yoda: "Yes. Getting long, the script was. Squished, the rest of the story will be."
Jen: "And wasn't I Jyotaru's twin sister?"
Yoda: "Yes. But you really weren't."
Jen: "Then what possible relevence do I have to the plot do I have anymore?"
Yoda: "None."
Jen: *long face* "Wow... that... really sucks...." *blink* "The only thing left to do is... becomes Darth Sparky's new Padawan! Mwahahahaha!" *runs off*
Caily: "I guess that I'm good now."
Justin: "Guess so."
Megan: "What about me?"
Caily: "I really don't think anyone cares."
VIII. filler stuff that otherwise would have been important
Random Narrator: "Meanwhile, Darth Sparky had gone slightly insane due to the extreme mental strain placed upon her personage and had decided to plea her case to the Jedi council."
Jenn: "Okay, before you all pull out your lightsabers and begin slicing and dicing me, yes, I am a Sith Lord- but I come to you in peace. Okay... well, not exactly peace, but peaceably enough that chopping me into eighty-three pieces would probably be a breach of your ridiculous codes of honor. Then why am I here, you wonder? To make a simple request- lay off a little.
"Hey, don't laugh, I'm serious. How many of you are there, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? How many of US are there?
"TWO. That sounds reeeeal fair, doesn't it? Y'know, I'd like to have a discussion with whoever thought up this stupid 'there can only be two' rule in the first place. I mean, honestly, how the hell are we supposed to bring the downfall of civilization with only TWO people. It sounds nice, in theory. Makes us sound all mysterious and... hell, I don't know. It sounds pretty stupid to me.
"So you know what would make my job a bit easier? If you Jedi didn't kill of every half decent Padawan before I can even get a lightsaber in their hands. It makes sense, you helping me out. You remember that old metaphor, right? You can't have light without big dark to stick in it. You Jedi are all hoky and religious, so you understand the simple principal of BLANCE. So you need me, and I need you and in the end we're all happy and fighting an endless war until the end of time.
"Okay, on second thought, that doesn't sound too appealing. I have a better idea- why don't you just let me win? No? Yeah, I didn't think that would work... well, at least the Sith don't give lethal weapons to small children.
"... and I really don't like the way your hands are all edging towards said lethal weapons so I'll, just, um, be leaving..."
IX. Aqueous attempts to be part of the plot again
*this entire scene is done with carboard caricatures*
Jen: "Let me be your Padawan!"
Jenn: "No! Mwahahahaha!"
Jen: "Ahhhhhh!" *dies*
X. the final battle
*Arcee, Cerberus, Yoda, Jyotaru and Lawnmower all show up at Darth Sparky's base*
Jenn: "Mwahahahahahahahahaha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH--" *coughhackwheeediepuffer* "... ha... ha..." *pause* "And as an afterthought, ha."
Justin: "No! She's mad with the power!"
Leslie: "Just out of curiostiy, can you do anything other than stand unobtrusively on the sidelines and say random things?
Justin: "Um, no. Not really."
Megan: "He's pretty goo at being a random plot device."
Caily: "And he's MY BROTHER!"
Leslie: "What? Wait a second, you're that Sith, Darth Arcee!"
Caily: "I once was evil, but now I fight for the side of good!"
Jenn: "Um, hello? I exist?"
Leslie: "I will not believe that you have truly changed until I challenge you to a lightsaber battle!"
Justin: "What will that prove?"
Leslie: "Absolutely nothing. I just want to be involved in at least one lightsaber battle before this movie is out."
Caily: "In that case."
*Cerberus and Arcee fight (lego pieces) for absolutely no reason. Whee*
Leslie: "And now, Darth Sparky, it is payback time for all the evil you've done! I will defeat you and avenge all the innocence of my fragile childhood that you shattered with your dark influence!"
Jenn: *unimpressed* "You do realize how bad that line was."
Leslie: "... dude, it's Star Wars."
Jenn: "Good point. In which case... My crappy dialouge can kick your crappy dialouge's ass!"
Leslie: "What? You're ON Darth. I'm a Jedi Master. I am the undisputed LORD of bad dialouge."
Jenn: "Are you kidding me? I'm evil!"
Leslie: "Oh, you can walk the walk, but can you talk the talk?"
*all cringe*
Jenn: ":Ouch. Cliches. You have fought admirably, my old Padawan Cerberus, but now it is time. TIME TO DIE! Mwahahahah!"
*all cringe more*
Justin: "We will never die as long as we fight in the name of LOVE... er, I mean JUSTICE!"
Jenn: "You are sadly mistaken, pathetic Padawan, for the forces of darkness are far stronger than you could ever comprehend!"
Leslie: "Comprehend THIS!" *pulls out lightsaber*
Jenn: "Ha ha, how rash you are, Cerberus. Perhaps you too will turn to the dark side."
Leslie: "I will never allow myself to be your student again!"
Jenn: "Brave words, little Jedi Master, but not brave enough!"
Justin: "All's fair in love and war!"
Jenn: "Oh, you want to fight with metaphors, is that it? When life gives you lemons make lemonade!"
Leslie: "Life's a Lemon and I want my money back!"
Jenn: "Money is the root of all evil!"
Leslie: "Fear is the fear of fear itself!"
Justin: "If a tree falls in a forest and no one's around to hear it, does it really make a sound?"
Jen: *randomly here* "Actually, based on the vibrations the cracking of the trunk, plus uprooting, plus the various creatures fleeing, it is impossible for the tree NOT to make a sound."
Justin: "Uh,. it was a rethorical question."
Jenn: "And I killed you. I killed you dead."
Jen: "That you did." *falls down*
Leslie: "I'm getting sick of this. Let's just settle this the real way." *waves around her lightsaber*
Caily: "No! Stop! Everyone! This is wrong! Fighting is bad!" *all stare at Arcee, who looks about on the verge of tears She begins singing... her song*
Jenn: *looks of horror* "No... not... the song... I... can't think up any worse dialouge. Arcee has reached a depth an un-intellectualism so pathetically low that I cannot even comprehend it! AhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *brain breaks*
Leslie: "What just happened?"
Justin: "I think her brain broke."
Jenn: "Heh... heh... Jedi are silly..."
Leslie: "Well that was somewhat anti-climatic."
Justin: "Wasn't it though."
Leslie: *sighs and puts her lightsaber away* "Well, I suppose we should take you back to Courascant and get you initiated into the fold as a full Jedi. You're a hero."
Caily: "Yay! I'm a hero!"
Justin: "Can I be a hero by association?"
Leslie: *shrugs* "Sure, why not. At least then I won't have to train you."
Justin: *Guu voice* "Yaaaay."
Megan: "What about me?"
Leslie: "You know what? I really don't care. Go become the next Sith Lord or something. I just want this movie to be over so I can go back to doing something useful."
*the Jedi leave, but Lawnmower reamins with the broken Darth Sparky and dead Aqueous. An evil look overcomes her and she laughs maniaclly*
Random Narrator: "Darth Sparky was defeated an peace returned to the galaxt. Arcee, once a prisoner of the Dark Side became one of the most famous light Jedi's in history. But you don't really care about that, do you. You only care about what happened to the chick in the bikini. Perverts..."
*switch to Lici, standing against the horizon*
Lici: "Hmm... I cheated that Sith Lord out of all her money, and then that Jedi Master out of even MORE money. What do I do now." *ponders* "I know! I want to be the very best! Like no one ever was!" *Pokemon theme starts* "I want to be a POKEMON MASTER!"
the end.
we hope.
since you couldn't find it before.
Practice your lines! All sixteen of them!