Woo Contender! And it's in the second round now. Fun.
So I don't know about this whole "working" thing. It's just SO different than camp. I mean, I've always told myself that I'm never going to take any job just for the money- that I'm going to do something that I love, that challenges me, that lets me make some kind of a difference. But because of my current situation, I know it isn't fair (or even worth the effort) to really get myself a "good" job.
Honestly though, I didn't think it was going to be this hard for me. I mean, the work is definitely not "hard" (the actual procedures and rules), but I just don't have what it takes. Physically it makes me hurt, and that's tied into the fact that mentally I just can't take it. There's no challenge, nothing to keep me interested or evolving or learning.... Without this factor it's just so monotonous and I just can't take it.
The worst part has to be the time when I'm not working, though. I've said it as a kind-of joke before, but it's like it's killing my soul. I don't feel motivated to do anything else, because when I'm not working I just want to collapse. Without constant stimulation I lose interest in interacting with the world- talking to people, listening to music, reading- anything. It's even worked its way into my dreams- since I started there hasn't been one night when I haven't dreamt of doing at least a little cashiering. Miserable, I tell you.
I don't know. I wish I could quit, but it's only another month. And it's just set up so nicely (how close it is, how I've already got the job and have gone through the whole process). Blah.
On a similar note, I got in trouble for not going on Sunday. I wasn't the only one who didn't show, so the store ended up being chaos and everyone was pissed. I got a little note in my permanent record (which would be bad, but it shouldn't show itself until the 90-day trial period is over and by that time I should be in another country). I still feel guilty and everything but yeah. I had to make the choice. I can only imagine how awful it would be if I don't get my requested days off for my cousin's wedding. I'm going to try to not think about that right now.
In completely unrelated news, the clock on my computer keeps slowing down. I have no idea why and it kind of pisses me off.
OOH! Season 3 of AD was released today! And I got it for less than $20!!
So I don't know about this whole "working" thing. It's just SO different than camp. I mean, I've always told myself that I'm never going to take any job just for the money- that I'm going to do something that I love, that challenges me, that lets me make some kind of a difference. But because of my current situation, I know it isn't fair (or even worth the effort) to really get myself a "good" job.
Honestly though, I didn't think it was going to be this hard for me. I mean, the work is definitely not "hard" (the actual procedures and rules), but I just don't have what it takes. Physically it makes me hurt, and that's tied into the fact that mentally I just can't take it. There's no challenge, nothing to keep me interested or evolving or learning.... Without this factor it's just so monotonous and I just can't take it.
The worst part has to be the time when I'm not working, though. I've said it as a kind-of joke before, but it's like it's killing my soul. I don't feel motivated to do anything else, because when I'm not working I just want to collapse. Without constant stimulation I lose interest in interacting with the world- talking to people, listening to music, reading- anything. It's even worked its way into my dreams- since I started there hasn't been one night when I haven't dreamt of doing at least a little cashiering. Miserable, I tell you.
I don't know. I wish I could quit, but it's only another month. And it's just set up so nicely (how close it is, how I've already got the job and have gone through the whole process). Blah.
On a similar note, I got in trouble for not going on Sunday. I wasn't the only one who didn't show, so the store ended up being chaos and everyone was pissed. I got a little note in my permanent record (which would be bad, but it shouldn't show itself until the 90-day trial period is over and by that time I should be in another country). I still feel guilty and everything but yeah. I had to make the choice. I can only imagine how awful it would be if I don't get my requested days off for my cousin's wedding. I'm going to try to not think about that right now.
In completely unrelated news, the clock on my computer keeps slowing down. I have no idea why and it kind of pisses me off.
OOH! Season 3 of AD was released today! And I got it for less than $20!!