What Happens When You Can’t Stop “Doing” — Even When You’re Burning Out?
If you’ve ever felt guilty for doing nothing, this is for you
I sometimes wish I could rest like other people. Watch a show without guilt. Sit in the sun without trying to optimize my vitamin D. But even rest has become something to perform. Something to do well — so I can do more later.
Some people say they’re always tired.
I say: I’m always productive. Even when I’m lying down.
I’ve had chronic fatigue for years, and burnout even longer. But the machine inside me doesn’t stop. There’s always one more thing to do. And if I don’t do it, I’m failing. Falling behind. Letting life slip away.
Even watching TV becomes a task on my mental checklist:
“Good. Now you’re recovering. That means you’ll be able to write, clean, plan, create later. Right?”
Sometimes I’m out with friends, and I feel this quiet panic.
I smile, but my body wants to go home. Not to rest — but to finally get things done.
The laundry. The Substack post. The dishes. That email I haven’t answered in 3 weeks.
I feel like I’m chasing an invisible finish line that only moves further away.
For every task I complete, three more pop up.
And Substack? Ironically, it’s never on the list. Even though writing here is what I love most.
And yet — I don’t hate this part of me.
I love that I get things done. That I can build a life from very little energy. That I care.
This is not a flaw. It’s just a wound that never got a proper name.
Productivity became my shield.
When I didn’t feel good enough. When I couldn’t control my body.
I could at least control the output.
But this kind of productivity has a cost:
I’ve turned every moment into something that must lead somewhere.
Every pause must have a purpose.
Even rest must prove itself.
We live in a world that glorifies doing and forgets being.
And for those of us with chronic illness, this pressure doesn’t disappear — it just becomes more silent. More internal.
Is it just me, not you?
I’d love to know if this resonates with you.
Do you also feel like rest needs to be earned?
Leave a comment — even just a word or emoji — so I know you’re here.
This space grows through shared reflection.
So how do we break the cycle?
I don’t have a perfect system. But here are two things I return to — especially on the days when my body won't move and my mind won't stop:
I write down three things I’ve already done today, even if one of them is “got out of bed.” This rewires my brain to notice completion, not just lack.
I add one thing to my to-do list that feels good, not just useful. Something that fills rather than drains. Like reading a book. Or stepping outside to feel the wind.
These don’t fix the wound.
But they soften it.
And maybe that’s enough for now.
ps.
If this is you too — I see you. I’m with you.
Let’s stop measuring our worth in what gets done.
If this stirred something in you:
Subscribe — or share this with someone who’s tired of performing productivity.
Let’s build a slower, softer world together.
Thank you so much for the restack 🌸 That “can’t stop doing” feeling is so real. Have you ever struggled with finding the balance between rest and productivity yourself? @quiet reminders
“We live in a world that glorifies doing and forgets being.” Yes, so true! It really does feel like being thrown onto the hamster wheel without ever giving our consent. Reading your words was a grounding reminder.
Wishing you, me, and the rest of the world many, many days of rest that don’t need to be earned.