I was picking up two jalapeno peppers last night when Megan texted me to tell me she bought my book. “You can buy it?” is what I said back, and then I went into panic mode because I have no launch plan, I have no marketing plan, it’s Christmastime, I have a lot of cookies to bake, I’ve been asked to take over a business I’m not sure I can or want to take over, we’re making veggie chili tonight with jalapeno pepper jack scones, there is more laundry to do than I ever thought possible, the dishes in the sink are multiplying like Gremlins which is strange because no one is putting water on them, and there is no butter - at all - in the house. What kind of person doesn’t plan for having multitudes of butter in the house at Christmastime for crying out loud?

This is how it goes, sometimes. It was Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday when The Teacher Diaries launched, and two memories are as follows:

• I was standing outside of Perry Elementary School holding hands with a crying Kindergartener because she was afraid the school was going to blow up. That’s why we were outside - someone smelled gas and we had to evacuate. I was afraid, too.

• During the Ash Wednesday service I got a text from my friend Jenn Batchelor: “Dude,” she wrote, “your book is more popular on Amazon than Flannery O’Connor’s books. That’s kickass!” I think Flannery O’Connor would’ve loved Jenn.

But it’s here. It’s here! I wrote my third book! That seems worthy of a blog post, yeah?

Here’s a bit about what people are saying about it:

“Callie Feyen’s book is wonderfully written with humor, insight, compassion, and wonder. It captures her stirring stories that focus light on family life and love. It will stir your own memories and make you grateful to be alive.”

—Quentin Schultze, author of Communicating with Grace and Virtue

“Callie displays a masterful sense for siphoning the marrow of moments, whether real or—even truer—fictional. With wit, wisdom, and warmth, her candid observations of her own life ‘bearing stories’ resound beyond church walls. Not many writers can weave together all the ways we are ‘making ourselves believe’ through the kaleidoscope of our lived experiences, but Callie does exactly that—settling our spirits with her faith-filled tales.”

—Kelsi Folsom, author of Beauty Still Lives Here

“Callie Feyen’s When We Swung from Church Bells reminds us how stories from the wonderfully strange country of adolescence take root in our lives. Reading it feels like grace seeping in, like healing. Feyen’s voice is not just funny and poignant but faithfully irreverent. She looks into the dark corners for the characters we want to dismiss, from Bellatrix Lestrange to Judas, and makes us see them, and ourselves, anew.”

—Howard Schaap, author of Brooding Upon the Waters

I’d love for you to read it. You can order it at any bookstore (go local, if you are able). It’s also on Amazon, and I know everyone detests the organization, but sadly, we authors depend on reviews. We shouldn’t but we do, so I’m letting you know you can buy it there as well.

Two notes:

1. I do have launch and marketing plans and will pursue those in the coming year. It is likely you won’t hear from me over the course of the next two weeks as I want to spend time with my family (Hadley’s home!!!) and as mentioned, bake lots of cookies. I am looking forward of talking about the book in January.

2. I’m stepping away from creating the quarterly newsletter for my paid subscribers. I love doing that, but I have so many jobs where my income depends on putting one thousand percent of myself into the work, and it’s weighed on my confidence. Vulnerability hangovers are real. I hope that one day I’ll be able to pick that back up, but for now I’m hitting “pause.” If you are a paid subscriber, thank you so much for financially supporting my work. I do not expect you to continue to support me here financially as I don’t have the capacity to give anything extra right now. But I do thank you for believing in this paper newsletter project of mine. I love working on it, and hope to pick it up again.

One more thought - I admit I was caught off guard when I found out the book was out. I have been saying for some time now that I have the endurance to withstand the doubt that comes in when I can’t find the words to write, but I don’t have the professionality/business mentality of a published author. I want that, and was hoping to practice that with this book.

But I don’t believe all is lost. In fact, the timing of this book’s entrance into the world is quite significant because at the middle of When We Swung From Church Bells, I bring up Mary and from there on out, she is with me in all my doubt, confusion, worry, joy, praise, and delight. I absolutely should never ever in Jesus’ Name Amen compare myself to the Mother of God but for a long time now she’s been on my mind, especially as I parent my girls. I often think, “How the hell did she do this anyway?” And not knowing the answer except that she did do it, I’ve been encouraged.

So it seems fitting that this book comes out during the waning light, while doubt thrashes, when no one seems to allow room for anyone that looks, acts, or is different from our way of living, thinking, and believing. I am not trying to compare myself to Mary, but she said, “How can this be?” and I am saying, “I am not ready!” and she said, “May it be according to Your will,” and I am saying, “Here’s what You gave me, Lord. Here’s what I did with it.”

And a new story is born.