TASTY

TRANSLATIONS DIRECTORY.

calasander — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 02:25:25 GMT

Since I've practically fallen off the translation radar, I'd like to direct everyone who doesn't want to read my wasteful banter to the handy tags section on the right sidebar, underneath the ads. The translations tag will give you everything of Shige's that I have worked on. They are also split into more specific articles, such as "photoshigenic" and "butai" for the pamphlet of Shige's one-man show.

Or if you're lazy like me, you can just click here!

I'm bringing this to everyone's attention just in case they don't see the tags section, since the ads bump them further down the page. I really hope nobody translates something that's already been posted here! Especially the pamphlet! My god, I wouldn't want anyone to start that project only to find out it's already been done. D:

But wait, why haven't you been translating?? A number of reasons. This little cooking hobby has a little something to do with it. But mainly... I just don't have the time. Or the exposure to Japan that I used to have. To be honest my Japanese ability, specifically my reading and writing, has dwindled the past year, and yes it is deeply depressing me! A full-time job + living at home with your parents + not seeing as many friends as I'd like + wanting to MOVE OUT has unfortunately put Shige on the backburner... gasp! Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

Perhaps one day I'll be back in the game but I'm officially on hiatus until then, but luckily there are great translators out there, unlike back when I started there were very few willing people to figure out what the heck Shige was trying to say. To the courageous few: THANK YOU AND GOOD LUCK!

photoshigenic 21

calasander — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 15:52:15 GMT

Sorry for being MIA but here's the latest photoshigenic. Hopefully more to come! :D

Happy birthday Shige!

--[semi]nar*
For the past two months I was focused on butai. It really turned out to be a great experience. To the fans that I met, thank you very much for coming all the way to see us. Of course from the members, past costars, the dear people related to the entertainment industry, and from the various people who came, thank you for giving me lots of flowers. Maruyama-kun of Kanjani 8 also came during the closing day of the Osaka show. I actually didn't have any plans, but after the closing performance in Tokyo I got an email. "I missed it, but good job on the performance in Tokyo. The butai illustrating the life of a cicada... it was interesting because I've never heard of it. Based on how it looked I wanted to go, but because my schedule did not agree, this time with tears, I gave up on going. From September, the Osaka cicada, in the summer more so, stay one step ahead in semi... good luck continuing your butai. I'll be cheering you on from far away. Semi, cicada*, using that as a boke would really be a useless reply, so try not to use it." ...what a funny mail. Thinking that he's an interesting fellow, I entered the Osaka theatre and there were flowers sent to me. Normally if you're in the same agency then you wouldn't give flowers. But-- he really is a wonderful senpai. Yet even while saying that he eventually ended up coming to see the butai. Thank you very much. I really didn't want to write this but, it just came out. Sorry. I'll send you a funny email soon, so wait for it!

*[This entry was a play on words: cicada is pronounced "semi" so the title literally meant "cicada-nar."]

--photoshigenic 21
In the June issue the suggest we thought of, "elbow pizza", was well liked,
This month the chosen subject had positive participation from the producer Masuda.
"This month will be this" and put down chairs, with Shige sitting in the middle,
lively saying "Chairs are good!"*
Koyama and Tegoshi were there, and also the staff had taken the photo it, thanks to their ability.
".......It looks like I slipped off! Uwa~ it looks like a public execution!"
Shige obediently obeyed the producer.
Nice combo!

Polaroid:
Hey. Doesn't look like I slipped?
Chairs are good.*

*[Again, play on words. Originally this said: イス、いいっす (isu, iissu) where isu means chair, and the second part a casual way of saying "いいです" (iidesu)]

--
What a great smile--. Koyama looks very lively, ne. Recently he's had a lot of time on his hands, so he's been fully enjoying his private time. I feel so envious. Now that I mention it Koyama-san has been working on his radio show, and when I came on as a guest I said that Koyama resembled "Kinnikuman's Ramenman." After that, during our concert the Koyama uchiwa's that fans made became Ramenman uchiwas. Sorry Koyama. Then, on the most recent radio show a postcard came that said "If the NEWS members were from GeGeGe no Kitaro what do you think you would be?" and to the sender, I said that I was like "Medama Oyaji" and I thoroughly wrote the reason why. But, Koyama said... "Ittamomen." Reason was "Just because." ...Being told that, there is a resemblance I think. He really does look like him... bububu. He'd be a yellow Ittamomen. I can laugh... again again sorry Koyama. This time your uchiwas may increase.

*[Kinnikuman is a popular manga about a wrestler. Ramenman is a part of the show as well. You can Wikipedia it to see if there is any resemblance.
In addition, GeGeGe no Kitaro is a popular manga about ghosts and spirits. Medama Oyaji is the "Eyeball father" who is Kitaro's father. Ittamomen is the strip of cloth that flies around and Kitaro often travels on him.]

しげりごと "Shigerigoto" Photo & Essay - Eye of the Star & Thread

calasander — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 21:18:10 GMT

Happy Belated Valentine's Day! The reason this translation took so long was mainly because of the last piece, which involved poetry. I am not fluent in Japanese so it was very difficult to get what he was saying and I had to consult my teacher on what it really meant (not to mention it took forever and a day to even get in contact with her).

This finishes up the translation for the pamphlet. お疲れさまでした！

Note: these translations are NOT TO BE REPOSTED. This means that you should link back to this post, and not copy and paste this translation onto any forum, personal blog, or the like. Please be respectful of the time I put into doing this for all the fans because I don't get paid for this!!

Eye of the Star

A boy saved a star fragment. Even though it's just supposed to be an ordinary rock, why he thought of it as a star fragment is something even I don't understand, but that night the stars were extraordinarily bright. "How beautiful!" said the boy happily as he put the star fragment into the chest pocket of his white shirt, and with a smile he went to sleep. Soon the night brightened [into morning] and the boy woke up, but as he went to get the star fragment that was supposed to be in his chest pocket, it was no longer there. The boy cried. He wailed and cried. As he cried he gazed into the sky, but the star wasn't there. He continued to cry until nighttime came, and then, suddenly his chest pocket became heavy. The boy stopped crying. "This is the star fragment I always had" and he became happy, and when he took it out, it wasn't a star fragment but just a regular rock. The eyes looking at it were the same, but it wasn't a star fragment. Why he thought it wasn't a star fragment is something even I don't understand, because on this night and yesterday the stars were still glittering. At that moment the boy knew. He thought that the star fragment in his chest pocket that only appeared at night had turned into an ordinary rock, and he received the glow from the star. The beautiful star fragment he saved had given him its brightness. When the boy realized this, the rock he gripped in his hand turned into sand, and as he unraveled his hand it fell to the ground. The boy smiled as he gazed into the sky. As he was looking into the night sky, his eyes glittered brightly.

Thread

Put your hair up. Mend. Wear. Spell. Peruse. Spin. Tangle. Put your hair up. Mend. Wear. Spell. Peruse. Spin. Tangle.**

They're pretty words. The many kanji I've read with the thread radical all have the impression of being intertwined with suffocating sadness, sensuality, and love. I feel connected with these sounds, and the scene that comes to mind is this:

We see the figure of a lady from behind writing up the thoughts of a loved one into a letter. Her hair is up and she is wearing a kimono, and her slightly shuddering shoulder is indicating something. This is the painfully sad picture that came across my mind.

On this one sheet letter this is the poem that was spelled upon it.

On a far away day
A frayed bond
Could not be spun
The spring night passed away
My dear love.**

** The first set were written in kanji, and the repeating words were written in hiragana. All of these words use the same radical 糸 which literally means "thread." This is a bit of a complicated subject so if you already know Japanese or Chinese then you could just skip this section here.

Radicals are considered commonly as semantic roots or elements of a Chinese character (kanji). If put into perspective of English speakers, they are somewhat the equivalents of prefixes and suffixes, although the usages are never really the same. In the case that Shige used, the radical 糸 means "thread" and thus many of the kanji with this radical have to do with threads, such as things being tied (put your hair up), clothing (mend, wear), the construction of an object or idea (spell), and other attributes of "thread" (spin, as in spinning threads into an object, and tangle). "Peruse" is the modern translation of 繙く but another translation of it is "to untie a scroll." This is somewhat parallel to English prefixes and suffixes, for example, when you attach "un" or "in" to an word, it negates it (ex. unhappy, incomprehensible). Obviously it's not the same, but this was the only way I could explain how radicals are used to my friend who doesn't speak Chinese or Japanese, so I thought it would help here too.

Nowadays radicals are used as section headers in a Chinese dictionary much like we use letters in an English one.

** Again, I am not fluent in Japanese thus it's hard to translate something abstract such as poetry. If you feel I made a mistake, then let me know. I think the general idea is still there regardless.

しげりごと "Shigerigoto" Photo & Essay - Toilet & Earring

calasander — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:38:44 GMT

Second to last translation before I finish the whole pamphlet. The first essay is probably the inspiration for his infamous toilet skit. Enjoy!

"Toilet"

Tuesday at 13:41 (1:41pm) at the Omotesando intersection. Right now, I have a terrible stomachache. Even I know the reason why. I woke up because my stomach was growling so I went to the refrigerator, and although the eggs were one month past the expiration date, I made tamago kakegohan* with them anyway. Maybe it's because I was half asleep, but it seems like the taste of it was very strange, and I felt really unpleasant. This is the result of that. Ahhh.... Gradually the egg was irritating my stomach. Because I ate it, because I didn't think that eating a month old egg would be out of the question, my stomach is now outrageously irritated. With my irritated stomach, now I have an outrageous stomachache.

More and more it gets harder to bear, and then I spotted a dirty restroom and rushed in. I calmed down a bit, but then when I was casually looking at my surroundings there was something strange. From the outside it seemed like it was supposed to be a dirty public restroom, but I wondered why the toilet was very clean. Strange. Normally this stall would be full of graffiti. Something like "OO is an idiot" or a cell phone number pointing to the name of a famous person would be written here. But why in this dirty restroom were the walls completely white? Eh, whatever. I don't really understand but I finished my business and quickly went to leave.

As I was thinking, the instant I stood up, from the bottom of the stall door a piece of paper and a pen came out. What is this? I had a bad feeling about it as I picked it up. The paper had this written on it:

"Please express the number one complaint that you have on this piece of paper."

Haa? Why do I have to do something like this? I've got a bad feeling. Thinking that, I thought of just pushing the paper and pen back underneath. Hmm? Wait a minute here. Who and for what purpose is somebody shoving papers and pens underneath the stalls? With that thought, the reverse of my ideas got me excited. What would happen if I had expressed my complaints? It would be shocking! Wouldn't I like to see it? Hahaha. Alright, why don't we try writing them? Now I would definitely write this: "Why were there rotten eggs in the refrigerator!?" is what I scribbled on that paper, and then I curled it up and threw it into the toilet bowl. Ahh--. ...I expressed my complaints but I didn't feel any different. Pfft. Definitely some guy's dirty trick. I still remained there as an idiot. Then when I started to leave the stall, another piece of paper came from the bottom. Stop kidding around with me! I don't want to stay in here any longer!

Feeling really annoyed I started to turn the door knob. But, the door wouldn't open. No matter how many times I tried to pull it just wouldn't open. Crap!! What the hell!! I picked up the piece of paper again. On the piece of paper was this: "Please write the number one complaint you have on this piece of paper. That was not your number one complaint. Until you write that complaint the door will not open." Ehh? What? How does he know? I look around me but I didn't notice any cameras. This is too scary. I want to run away and break down the door, but as expected the door still won't open. It's impossible. I can't get out. Is the only way out to write it down? As a strange sweat flowed down my cheek, I wrote my complaint. "It's OO's fault that I have to go to work!" Then I flushed it down the toilet. Then I went to open the door. But the door won't open. Another paper came out. I read it. "Please write down the number one complaint you have on this piece of paper. That was not your number one complaint. Until you write it down the door will not open." Stop screwing around! There are no more! Not only that I know that it won't open. I can only write. "OO's attitude is bad!" "OO doesn't suit those clothes!" "It's 10 years too early to be ignoring me you old bastard!" ....... I wrote down so many but still, the door won't open. I've already thrown 23 complaints. Soon I'll use up all of them. As if I couldn't bear the content of the papers up until now, when I looked back, that's when I realized it. The 23 complaints I wrote on those pieces of paper were the numerous words used to describe this dirty public restroom. The hateful words that I had, there were so many of them inside my heart. Fu. Fuhahaha. While grinning widely, I wrote this on the 24th piece of paper. "The fact that I have this many foul thoughts in my head."

......Right now I'm walking from Omotesando to Shibuya. It's 14:03 (2:03pm).

*Tamago kakegohan is raw egg, rice, and maybe a little soy sauce. It's popular among Japanese college kids who can't cook.

----

"Earring"

I lost a earring that I liked. When I started to forget about it, I found it in the back of my drawer. Gladly I looked in the mirror and tried it on. It didn't suit me. I still liked wearing it though. Nowadays I don't like it that much. The color of the piercing wore away a little bit. No, that's not it. It's because I've changed.

When I moved into a new house I set a table down. Why does it look more beautiful than it did in the past? When it was brand new it increasingly became my favorite table. But because I didn't use it the color faded away. No, that's not it. The one who changed was me.

Anything can look dull, anything can look bright. That's because I have changed. That's why the person I am now has brightened a little bit from who I was in the past.

photoshigenic 14 translation 01-2009

calasander — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 05:24:50 GMT

This is a little out of order but that's ok. Including myself, everyone must be curious about Shige's adventures in NY with Koyama so here it is. And it's quite entertaining to boot!

photoshigenic 14 -- Wink Up Jan 2009
Credit goes out to all those who sent me the article (if you want a specific shout out just comment)
If you're curious, the first photo is on 42nd St, the second is in Times Square (obviously) a couple blocks away from Central Park, if I'm not mistaken. :D

-- the very last night is...
I think people already know this but I, Kato Shigeaki, went with Koyama Keiichiro to NY. I had time off so I decided to go overseas and bought a ticket to NY, but by accident Koyama wanted to go as well, so we ended up going together. What kind of miracle is this? Suddenly I've got a bad feeling... Well since the two of us hurriedly decided to stay in NY for 5 nights and 7 days, we didn't reserve a hotel room, and there was only one room available with one king size bed. ...very awkward indeed. In the middle we made a separating post, and even though each of us slept on the edge of the bed, on the third night, when I woke up we were sleeping with our feet close together. On the fourth night Koyama was half awake and he put his left hand on my right hand. Bit by bit it's rising from the bottom of our body to the top... On the fifth and last night, I cannot say that we slept completely separate from each other.

-- photoshigenic 14
The other day when he went to New York, Shige developed an appreciation for modern art at an art museum. Because of that, with his eyes awakened by the art, in the studio (at his own discretion) he held an exhibition of Tegoshi's artwork, enthusiastically appreciating it. Every month, the painting's style always leaves an impact from every direction, perhaps he is one of the modern impressionists...
Polaroid: Painter Tegoshi's artwork (the first one I'm not sure what it is and the second one means whale)
Art is difficult. In MoMA

-- 3hour or 1day?
In Koyama's high hopes, we went to a outlet in a NY suburb. Over there, they have stocked numerous amounts of brand named clothing that you can buy, and to look around the whole place would probably take one whole day. But the outlet that I went to, there are people who believe that 3 hours is enough to become familiar with the place. I didn't know where I was going, and since I couldn't read the time, I left in the morning and rode on the bus for at least an hour, and got to the outlet at 11:30am. The two of us took our time looking and circling the place and bought two or three things, and when we finished looking it was 2:30 in the afternoon. We did a perfect 3 hours of shopping and then went to go back by bus, but it just left five minutes beforehand. The next bus wouldn't come for another hour and half... Are you serious? We were lost and we didn't know what to do to kill time. Finally the bus came and we went to board it but there was a long line to get on. ...What the hell? We got on the next bus and departed at 4:30 in the afternoon. After a traffic jam we finally got back to Times Square at 6:30pm. ...Everyone. An outlet takes up one whole day so you should make sure you have plenty of time on your hands.

There are SO many things I can say:
Shige must've visited the MoMA (Museum of Modern Art)... which I'm beating myself in the head for because I was considering visiting the MoMA during the time that he was in NY. Oh wells. And when Shige refers to an "outlet" I am assuming he means a shopping mall, because what an outlet is in America is different from what he is describing. Outlets normally are giant warehouses that sell a wide variety of goods from one manufacturer-- for instance, Nike Outlet Stores sell everything ever made by Nike. If I had to guess, Shige probably went to the Palisades Mall (or possible Woodbury Commons!) b/c it's located in upstate NY and is quite large. And he probably didn't know that rush hour in NY is from 4-7 which is why it takes forever to get anywhere... add to that the fact that public transportation is NEVER on time in America compared to Japan, which is almost always on time.

Nevertheless it still pains me to think that he was so close yet so far... yet again. I guess I'll just have to get used to it. D:

しげりごと "Shigerigoto" Photo & Essay - Cell Phone

calasander — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 19:52:04 GMT

Hello loves! The next two essays are quite long so I'm posting them one at a time. Enjoy!

こんなんやってみました！　Pamphlet Translation
しげりごと　"Shigerigoto" Photo & Essay
Scans by inala

"Cell Phone"

The police station near Sangenjaya.

"First, please write your name, address, and phone number here."

Up until now, I've never gone to the police for help.

Five years ago. I've lost my cell phone. This isn't the first time I've lost my cell phone but this time it's definitely made me feel overwhelmed. When did I lose it? The last time I probably saw it was when I left the ticket gate in the station and told my mom, "I'll eat dinner. I'll be there soon," and when I got home, I thought to check my email but it was already gone. Ah-- what should I do? Now for the time being I stopped the service on that phone, and I searched my old cell and revived it. The phone number and the email address hasn't changed so I'm not inconvenienced. The truth is I actually just bought that phone. I'd want nothing more than to find it.

That's what I thought but then three days passed, and it was too late. Little by little I began to remember how to use my old phone. On this night I just gave up and studied for my high school midterm exam. The time was past 12 o'clock, now it's the fourth day since I lost my phone. I've already forgotten about my cell, and unwillingly I gave up on it. Beep--Beep. My cell phone rang. I opened it and it was from an unknown number. Could it be...

"Hello?"

"Um-- I found this cell phone--"

Yes!!!!! Someone found it!!!

The other person on the line was a guy. It definitely was a older man.

"Did you really? Thank you so much!! Um-- so, how should I get it back from you?"

"Tomorrow at 12:30 in the afternoon, would you be able to come to the front of OO?"

Eh? OO?

This OO was a huge fashion mall nearby. But, although it was near, it still took 30 minutes to walk there from my house, even from the nearest station. Although he found it for me, this was really the worst, and it's such a troublesome place too. That's why I suggested another way.

"What about XX station?"

"Sorry, only OO"

Hmm. I can't change his mind. And also, why has he had this stubborn resilient tone since the beginning of our conversation? What is this? Seriously!

"I understand. OO it is."

In the end, I explained the circumstances to my father and the next day asked him to give me a ride. I would give the man my gratitude, and at least give him a reward, so I brought however much cash wrapped in an envelope.

I got there 5 minutes before our meeting time, got out of the car and waited for him. I looked around me but there was only one foreigner standing there. People briefly passed by, but none stopped and instead just passed by. I thought, what the hell-- I looked around restlessly until I called the number that I got yesterday.

"Hello?"

The guy who had my cell phone was the foreigner that I first saw.

"Ah--"

Our eyes met each other, and I realized that he was the guy, so I hung up and walked toward him. "Sorry. Thank you very much for finding my phone. Where did you find it?" "When I came out of the station is was midway through OO."

I see. That's his voice. The bluntness that I felt was just because he was stumbling with his words. I thought I must have been much too cruel beforehand.

"Is that what happened? Thank you so much for going out of your way to do this."

"Same here. Though I didn't really know how to use the phone, so that's why one day after I picked it up I ended up calling you. I wanted to contact you earlier though. I am so sorry for getting this to you so late."

"No no, it's OK. Really, thank you very much. Please, take this as a token of my gratitude."

Once I said that I gave him the envelope with the money inside it. Once he took it, the foreigner looked inside it to confirm the contents and was very surprised,

"I can't take this!!"

"But you really saved me!"

"No it's OK! It's OK!"

"Please, take it!"

"I didn't do this for money! I really don't need it! Sorry, but I don't have much time so I must go!"

Once he said that the guy ran into OO.

It appears as if this guy works in OO. That's why during his break time he called me out here to give me back my cell. Since XX station was not convenient he decided on OO. Everything was satisfied this way.

But wait a minute. Just a second ago that guy said this.

"Same here. Though I didn't really know how to use the phone, so that's why one day after I picked it up I ended up calling you."

One day after he picked it up. Today is the fourth day since I lost my phone. In other words, my phone was lost for one whole day. No one at all picked up my phone. The place where I lost it was one where lots of people pass by, and nobody noticed it at all. The many people who pass through there didn't find my phone, so no one picked it up for my sake. Yet the one who did find my cell phone by accident was just this foreigner. He did his best with the phone and searched for me. And then he finally called.

Could you do this by yourself? Finding a lost cell and calling its owner? And also, with your own words in a land that inconveniences you? I surely wouldn't be able to do it.

I was in high spirits. I was happy that I had found my cell phone, and I didn't think of the other guy's situation at all. I'm really the worst. I only thought to give him money because of my own ego. I thought I could just express my thanks to the man who found my phone just by giving him money. I'd just be happy by doing only that. Seriously, I am the worst.

Three years later from that day. I was walking to Sangenjaya when I found a pink cell phone. Once I found it, immediately handed it in to the police.

"I found this cell phone over there."

"I understand. So, if we happen to find the owner and he/she would like to contact the person who found it, please write your name, address and phone number here."

"Oh no, he/she doesn't have to contact me. If you just get it to the owner safely, that would be enough."

I finally said what I've always wanted to say. Isn't that great, Gaijin-san?

[If anybody still has an extra pamphlet they are willing to sell please let me know!!]

しげりごと "Shigerigoto" Photo & Essay Translation 2

calasander — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 19:47:52 GMT

Sorry for falling off the face of the earth! Midterms are done now... although I can't say that I did as well as I thought. Anyways, I translated the next two essays this morning because I know that everybody looks forward to the pamphlet being translated more than anything else.

Highlights:
-Shige talks about the idea of people asking stupid questions.
-Finally, we hear his opinion on him being called an old man.

こんなんやってみました！　Pamphlet Translation
しげりごと　"Shigerigoto" Photo & Essay
Scans by inala

"Stupid Question"

Everyone seems to use a certain motto or phrase. Even me, when I’m talking with my friends, I unintentionally end my phrases using “~though.” As in, “He seems to be really popular though.” Whenever I realize that, I feel like I’ve plunged into a gyaru! feeling. Well, if I had commuted to Shibuya during those six years of middle and high school I might have thought that way, but I think the meaning behind it is because I like the word “though.” Though why is that?!! That’s another feeling I’ve fallen into. There are many chances especially when writing sentences though, that I realize that I shouldn’t say that, but I would soon let my guard down and end up saying it. That’s the kind of word it is, I think. Meanwhile if I asked my friend whose name is Yayoi “When is Yayoi’s birth month?” I’d be told “That’s a stupid question.” When I heard that, I exploded with laughter. It probably is a dumb question. It goes without saying that Yayoi was born in the month of March*. It's a stupid question because of the kanji, the meaning is that it's a foolish question, so I was probably stupid when I heard the birth month from Yayoi. I was so stupid, so the words "stupid question" came out, and I ended up laughing. Since then, I became really interested in those words. That's because life is unexpectedly full of stupid questions. If you take me for example, if I'm asked things like, "Kato-kun is in Johnny's right?" or "Shige is in NEWS right?" I'd laugh and answer, "That's a stupid question!" It's not a bad thing, but the one who asks would do so seriously, so it would be such a dumb question that I would laugh because the answer is too obvious. For me, a stupid question wouldn't be a foolish question, it would mean that the question is so foolish that someone would laugh because the answer is so unmistakeable. In that case it would be OK to use the words "stupid question." But, if it so happens that someone asks "But what does that mean?" it's OK to answer with this. "That's a 'stupid question'!"

*Yayoi literally translated means the third year of the lunar calendar.
[Sorry if this makes your head go in circles. I tried to make it as understandable as possible while trying to not sound like a broken record.]

"Shige, The Old Man"

I am blessed to have friends, and all of them have various different words they use to describe me.

For example, blue sky. "Shige is a blue sky," is what I've been told some times. I feel a little embarrassed by writing this but, my smile seems to lift people up like the blue sky. But in the back of my mind I'd think to myself about the song "Aozora" by Blue Hearts. Now that I think about it, there are people who have told me, "Shige is a very dignified young boy." I became interested in finding out the real meaning of the word "dignity," so I tried looking it up in my electronic dictionary. The meaning is "In their looks, attitude, or voice, someone who is very manly or handsome. Someone who follows order and discipline." Yes yes. It a very good worldly feeling isn't it. Well, I don't think I'm that much of a playboy flirty type, so I agree with this opinion.

Then, the next person said this. "Shige seems like a little old man." The person who said that told me that I appear to be aging three times faster.... but it's not my face that does! It's my head, my head! No no, I'm not even growing gray hair! The things I think about don't seem to be what 20 year olds think of. Even though I have discussions with people about trifling subjects, when I say my opinion I feel excessively knowledgeable and persuasive, and I also seem to be very assured about my confidence. Because of that person, I'm called "Shige, the Old Man" because I have the habits of a 50 year old.

In the end, from those who know me, if you total everything up, I'd become, "A little old man with a heart and a smile like the blue sky, and a young dignified boy." At one glance it's a complete contradiction though: still and moving, young and aging, combining the extremes together into a person with two different faces. It doesn't seem bad. If I stay as this person forever I think it would be good. However, about aging three times faster, now inside my brain I'm 60 years old, so when I turn into a real 60 year old man, my brain would be 180 years old. What would I be called that time, I wonder. Maybe it would be "Shige, the Hermit." If I reverse that, the 20 year old brain called "Shige" has become a old man, na .

[And I didn't even realize it, but the next two essays are really long! :| Le sigh.
Also, this is sort of a shot in the dark, but: is there anybody within the NY-NJ area that happens to have an extra pamphlet that I could buy? I realize that as I'm translating this I really would like to have one just for the sake of having one. I don't think I can pay for it through paypal or other means, so if anybody within the area has an extra one, please leave a comment or msg me and let me know. Thanks!]

しげりごと　"Shigerigoto" Photo & Essay Translation

calasander — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 06:59:29 GMT

Hope everyone is doing well in school. I am trying my best to keep up with translations while juggling my massive university work load. But translating is actually helping me in my Japanese class believe it or not, so I really have to thank Shige for that. :D

Here is the introduction and the first three essays that Shige has in his show pamphlet. All three are very well written, very thought-provoking, and at the same time, really cute (especially the last one). Enjoy!

こんなんやってみました！　Pamphlet Translation
しげりごと　"Shigerigoto" Photo & Essay
Scans by inala
[Note: Unlike photoshigenic, the essays don't have any direct relationship with the photographs. Well, I shouldn't say any because you can always interpret it as you like, but for these reasons I'd like to ask for no scanlation requests at the moment. Don't ignore the photos though, because they are very pretty.]

しげりごと "Shigerigoto" is short for しげの独り言 "Shige no Hitorigoto" which means "Shige's Soliloquy." In Myojo, his essays are called 青い独り言 "Aoi Hitorigoto" which means "Blue Soliloquy." Just in case anybody was curious about the title.

I am a young boy.
I laugh because I want to laugh. I cry because I want to cry.
I live because I want to live. I do because I want to do.
It's awkward. But it's ok.
That's because... this is who I am.
Whatever you think about my words and pictures
is free for you to decide.
That's because this is already
Something that belongs to you.

"It's perfectly fine if it's this painful"

It's perfectly fine if it's this paintful. For the sake of seeing the view from the mountaintop, the climb is unexpectedly really fun. This is because I was able to see the great view and have that feeling of achievement since my expectations were so high.

It's perfectly fine if it's this painful. When I get a sore throat I'll let others know about my pain, when I get a toothache I can let others know how hard it is to digest and absorb food. If a wall suddenly appears before my eyes I'll finally realize that I've been running while looking to the side. That's why it's perfectly fine if it's this painful.

Yes, we should know that this is the essence of living.

"Regular Holiday*"

Once before, I came upon a nice camera shop owner near my house. Temporarily, because it was troublesome I thought I'd have him develop my film, so I took some and went there, but because I've only gone there once eventually I got lost. When I finally thought I had found it, I couldn't believe it was closed for a regular holiday. What the hell!! I went home really annoyed, but at an intersection a man with a loud voice was shouting.

"Where is O???"

Whatever he was saying I had no idea, and all the people who crossed him neglected and passed him by. I felt bothered by it, but because I was shy I didn't speak to him, and I went with the flow by also passing him by as well. That is what it was at the time. But this person also held a cane in his hand. It was because he could not see anything through his eyes. I stopped. I thought I should say something, but again I gradually couldn't make that bold step. Meanwhile that man continued to shout

"Where is O Hospital??"

I gasped. O Hospital was right in front of my eyes. When I realized that I finally spoke up.

"O Hospital, was it? It's right here"

I took his hand and brought him over. As he unsteadily walked he said one thing:

"Thank you."

And then he entered the hospital. It was the first time. The first time I saved someone who needed help. I was happy and smiling at the same time. Honestly I don't believe I had any part in his rescue. The real person who was saved was me. The one who wanted to say thank you is me. It was an evening that knew of my kindness. Thank you, regular holiday.

*Regular Holiday means that the store is close on this day every week. For example, if a store says that Wednesday is a regular holiday, it means it's closed every Wednesday.

"The One Thing About My Friend"

What's your favorite word? Or, what you're motto? This is what I get asked but, to be honest I don't really know. Since it got troublesome, I took a part of my own name and created "Whatever forms, becomes" as my motto*. It's not that I don't like it, but right now I can't think of anything like that. But I've found a word that's unconsciously remained in the back of my mind. When I was out on a school excursion, as I was looking at the starry sky I mumbled "It's so beautiful," and my friend said this to me: "If you think so then your heart must be beautiful."

According to him, if you try so hard to say something bad in a good way, no matter what, people will think of you as a good person. This is probably why. It's because whether it'd be stars or flowers, your heart that views other beautiful things as gorgeous is also beautiful. But as always, like the stars, flowers, the sky, the sea, I can't think of myself as something as beautiful as they are. But he has the sensibility to realize that wonderful things are wonderful, and also the ability to brighten up someone's day. He surely did the same for me.

Thank you for saying such great things! I said as I thanked him, but afterwards my mom bought a collection of poems by Aida Mitsuo and the same thing was written in it. Come to think of it, my friend at one time was a big fan of Aida Mitsuo... that guy...

*Kato uses the first kanji in his name 成亮 in the phrase 「成せば成る」 as explained above.

I hope this isn't too overwhelming like last time. These essays are short, nothing compared to the long myojo-length ones in the later pages ~_~
And remember! No reposting whatsoever and retranslation without permission! If you want to include this in your personal blog, you may quote your favorite parts, but please provide a link back to this original post. Thank you!

photoshigenic translation 10-2008

calasander — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:24:14 GMT

So I just got this today. Crazy, right? I figured since this column is pretty much cake to translate (for me at least), and I have free time... you get the picture.

DISCLAIMER: Translation was done late at night so there may be some errors. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm mushing it together and handing it with a bow on top, I'm just tired, and figured everyone would want to read this (who wouldn't?)

photoshigenic 11 -- WinkUp Oct 2008
Scan credit to WC (because I don't want to write her real name)
[translator's notes]

--Othello*
Continuing from last time, because I haven't seen the members lately (I do meet with them but it's not the case where I take pictures of them) this time here's a photo that's a little old. When I met the members after a long time, everyone was still doing great. Nishikido-kun seems to be really into Othello. Though when the conversation changed, lately everybody has often been asking me "Your face is white. Are you ok?" I could see why. Honestly it's because I haven't been in the sun lately. Well, even though I've become white, all of the other members have gotten too dark. Everyone during work and during their private time has free time to tan, so that's why they're black. The one who hasn't really tanned is Massu. Even though a half a year ago in Australia people said I tanned and got really really black, now I'm told that I'm really really white. I guess it's because being white is unhealthy. So then people will ask you if you're doing ok. The wellness of my metabolism is suprising though. Ahh. Just like Othello, everyone surrounds me but I can't seem to become black.

--photoshigenic 11
Even in the NEWS Q10 Illustrations, the artist Tegoshi has a sparkling talent. Last month he displayed that in his drawing of the kabuto insect, and even this month's subject, the frog, was also a big success. For the polaroid on this page, Shige was thinking of what kind of subject to do, and he thought "A drawing of me would be something good." So from the artist came a welcome (?) offer, and "A feeling like 'Kato is gold, and even Shige is gold'" was the meaningless advice he gave. By the way, on this day "I want to sing the national anthem together with Kei-chan!" and when they suddenly started singing, the members were talking, and Tegoshi plunged into a "Noisy mode." So, for Player Kato Shigeaki to come up with this is not impossible.
Polaroid: Sooo disgusting. Crap. I didn't say anything!

--Shige Teeth
The middle of August. I got my wisdom teeth pulled. I might have written this before, but a strange pain started in the back of my teeth during the filming of Hokaben, and the cause of it was my wisdom teeth. I knew I had to get them pulled no matter what, my one man show "Konnan Yattemimashita" had already started, and the timing was so bad, because when I went back for the Osaka performance, the pain had returned. With my toothache I did my best during Osaka performance, and then I finally made up my mind. "I'm pulling out my wisdom teeth!" I was extremely determined, and while I was scared the other day, I did my best and pulled them out. That's what these are. I adjusted the focus because they're realistic and grotesque, so I tried taking a photo with a surreal feeling. Because they grow apart from the parents they are called "wisdom teeth*" but since they are apart from me I'll call them "Shige teeth." Fuu. You'd never want this done, right?

*A couple people have commented about the Othello reference. To be honest, I don't really know what it is. ayumwu has said that it could refer to the way the game is played, in that in order to win, you must surround your opponent with your color pieces (which explains the "being surrounded" by black people idea). It could also refer to the Japanese comedic duo, which are two girls with opposite skin tones (one pale, the other tan). Who know, it could even refer to the Shakespearean play. Or something else. Or whatever. Honestly I don't know. I've looked into it but this is really all I came up with. :|
*In Japanese, "wisdom teeth" are called 親知らず which literally means "unknown to your parents." In English, we call them wisdom teeth because they grow when you're wiser than a child, in other words, a wise adult. The Japanese term comes about because they grow when you're mature and independent from your parents. Shige changes the term to しげ知らず which means "unknown to Shige." Though the logic doesn't quite follow exactly, it's still clever nonetheless.

Am I the only one over the age of 20 who hasn't gotten their wisdom teeth out yet? :|
(Oh and pamphlet translations are still underway! Please wait just a little while longer.)

こんなんやってみました！ Translation

calasander — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:51:43 GMT

This is the first part of many of Kato's pamphlet for his recent butai. These articles that explain the concepts and the conception of his ideas in making the show. The second part of the program, his photos and essays called "Shigerigoto" will come soon.

こんなんやってみました　Entertainment Show
scans credit to inala
[translator's notes]

As a person and as a human being I will perform the things I want to show you and the things I like
      To do a one man show? The first time I talked about it was around February or March of this year. I saw the shows that Tegoshi (Yuya) and Massu (Masuda Takahisa) had at the Global Theatre, and although I thought that I just couldn't do a one-man butai, I blurted out "I'll do it." So, because I'll do it, I'll try it "all by myself." There aren't many NEWS fans who know about Kato Shigeaki, so as a person and a human being Kato will do the things that he likes right now, in regards to writings and photos. I thought that while bringing in this "new challenge" I'll try it at the same time. The challenges were essentially calligraphy and recitations. The fiction that I wrote, this time, was the first challenge.
     Basically, my own written essays were used as a plan, as in "How would I perform this in an interesting way" or "What image would this become" and so I consulted with professionals to create a model. At the first meeting, I cited a list of "the things I don't want to do." Like, "I don't want my name to be in the title" or "I don't want to sing" or "I don't want to dance." (laughs) In any case, it was all because I wanted to separate myself from who I am in NEWS. Then they asked me "So, how about you perform 'the things you want to do'?" (laughs) At that time ideas popped into my head, and unexpectedly they were calligraphy and flower arrangement [as in, the traditional practice of flower arrangement]. In any case I thought that my feelings during daily life and my taste in things would be good...

Keywords are "Flower" and "Color" -- Why are flowers and colors used as symbols of human beings?
      I didn't know whether or not I should practice flower arranging in the butai, but this time "flower" was becoming a significant theme in me. Throughout the entire story it pops up often. If you make an object as a symbol of someone, flowers are often used, right? But at first, everybody thought why use a flower as a symbol for a person -- I had to think up of something and excite them about it. This was the butai where I would express the current version and various versions of myself, and I felt that I should use a keyword. And so "color" would follow with the same idea I said before. Why would people use color as a symbol for themselves? Near the end of the program I wanted to put in a fantasy-like part no matter what, so I put in the skit "Orange flower petal." (Originally "Eyes of the Stars"-- Shigerigoto)
     I've had an interest in the concept of color for many years, and the feeling of color is always a part of the sentences I write and of the photos I take. In the past I've only liked black and white, and colored things-- especially orange and pastel things, I didn't like them. What was the reason I wonder, could it have been adolescence? (laughs) I've longed to become a sharp guy who looks good in black and white. But after many years, I've become a soft gentleman, and I finally understood. I decided to develop soft feelings, and the color of dusk remains inside my head.

I will express the extreme side, and also the weak feeling of the title (laughs)
      The title "I tried to do this" is a basic idea that I decided on when I wasn't sure about it yet, but in any case I wanted an "anything goes" image. A gentle me and and an edgy me, I wanted to wrap up those extremes in words and so I came up with "I tried to do this." Afterwards, my anxiousness grew, and whatever weak feelings I had came out. The official title seemed like it was "I tried to do this... but, sorry, it is ok?" and gradually I felt like my voice got weaker and weaker. (laughs) But I think the result came out good. It's because the stage direction was able to make the most out of the title. Now if only I had used a different title... something like "Flower Color" maybe; I think that it would be better if the people who saw the show would think more about happy feelings regarding "flowers" or "colors." Once in a while it's ok to think of yourself as a flower, right? Yeah, if I could I would be happy, ne.

"I tried to do this. That's all, really.
Please accompany [this version of] me.
I tried to do this.
Kato Shigeaki"

Small text in the lower right hand corner:
Here are the photos Kato took concerning himself. "It looks like I was able to get lots of good expressions" and, under his own proposition, he challenged himself by taking his own self-portraits. Because he made the best use of his ideas, what was the lasting impression as he finished reeling the shutter? "It was awkward, but once I got over that it was fun. Everybody at the scene also seemed happy too (laughs)"

**For those interested, the camera that Kato uses is a German TLR (Twin Lens Reflex) camera called a Rolleiflex-- specifically the Baby Rolleiflex model in black. Besides the fact that I'm extremely jealous that he has one (since it costs and arm and a leg) the camera is actually a little cumbersome if you can't find the film or a place to develop it. The camera uses 120 film which is preferred by most photographers because it captures more photographic details due the larger size in comparison to the popular 35mm. But, unless you live in a highly urban area, it's hard to find a good quality place to buy it let alone develop it (which is why I have lots of 120 rolls lying around in my house). --But enough camera talk, onto more translations!**

Taking my time and being able to create an objective point of view, and normally using a film camera
     The first time I started using a camera was on New Year's Day in 2007. This year let's take pictures!-- was what I thought. So I received a camera from a cameraman, and when we went to shoot the photos for the NEWS Calendar in Los Angeles, I took lots of film with me. Yes, suddenly I began with film. So, I continued shooting even though the first time I began I didn't have any film in the camera, the whole picture was blurry, cloudly, and out of focus, but I still continued in failure. But, since the beginning I've gotten lots of recommended reasons from various people about film, and recently little by little I've started to understand them. In other words, with a digicam you can check the photo once you've taken it, yet there really isn't any endpaper photo, is there? But with film, it takes a bit of time from when the photo is taken until it is developed, right? As a result, the photo you've taken seems detached. There is a tendency for you to take something unconsciously, and because of that you'll come to understand the compositions and figures you like.

It's not a piece of data nor something intangible, that's why I like actual "photos"
     Of course there are photos that you can only take with a digicam, so now I enjoy having fun while keeping a balance between the two mediums. However, this time I made the promotional goods and the photo album, yet they're not used as digital data, but rather it seems that the people who I leave "pictures" to are increasing-- this is what I thought of. Now I think there are many cases where everybody takes photos but doesn't print them, but if the camera gets waterlogged or if you drop it, in one instant everything disappears... If you let the pictures your parents took of you when you were younger disappear, wouldn't you feel lonly? Well, I don't feel like I should push my opinions. The truth about my album is that I wanted to make use of it so I made it, and there are places that I want it go to. (laughs) I wanted to slip in a couple photos that I haven't shown to many people.

From my own work, I will tell you what kind of person Kato Shigeaki really is
     I don't really know but I seem to like taking "close-up" photos. I'll definitely take photos of scenery, or anything that stands before me. It's a relieving feeling, but if there is nothing around me then it becomes kind of lonly. (laughs)
     With that thought, from my work the version of myself that I don't know could be revealed and that would be really interesting, ne. The same goes for the sentences I write. As I'm writing my thoughts become more organized and then I'd be able to realize "Oh, so I guess I'm this kind of person." In addition my mind has been going in circles, so for the sake of my writing I'm always stretching my antenna [meaning, he's focusing his thoughts like an antenna sharpens a video feed]. When I was in elementary school I was completely into science and I wasn't confident in writing. But when I tried it there were people who evaluated my writing and gave me confidence in it. Gradually I started wanting to write more.

More than just to create my own expressions, but to connect with other people, I am making this
     Because in the end, in order to find myself, I believe I am writing and taking photos for this purpose. It's a bit of an exaggerated subject, but now, I can't find the place I need to be, and there are definitely people who can't find the place where they are needed. Those who live but say that there is no meaning in life turn to suicide... That type of feeling, I cannot come to understand it. Everybody is searching for themselves. Within that, my writings and photos will pave a path little by little, and the meaning of my existence, I feel, will arise and be found. With my sentences and photos, somebody will become happy, and when I hear their voice I will become happy-- that's what I think. The reason is because I like to make simple things and because I also make it and present it; if I make it and shove it into the back then there is no meaning behind it. I'm at a loss for words when I get asked "What do you want to tell them?" but if I get people to like the things that I like, don't we become connected to each other? It's simply a "bond." If something like that were within anybody, I think they would say "I want to live just a little bit longer."

-----
please do not repost, and if you want to translate into other languages, please ask me first. be courteous!</div>

error!?

calasander — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 18:07:26 GMT

In one of the photoshigenic translations, particularly the one about Kato's Coming of Age Ceremony, I wrote a comment saying that I assumed that he skipped out on his ceremony. Because I think my translation might not have been very clear (or my poor choice of words, really), what the translation meant to say was that he skipped out on the celebration party held for him, and not the actual ceremony itself. It's totally a mistake that I should have noticed in the beginning, and I should probably get slapped in the face for it. Dx

To clarify, Kato did attend his ceremony, which he not only had with Tegoshi, but it was also televised and published in the newspapers-- according to the MC part of the NEWS DVD.

Still, I don't want people to believe my naive assumption, but seeing as the monkey's already out of the bottle there's not much I can do about it. All I can say is that I highly apologize for any misunderstandings, confusions, or whatever mental discombobulations I caused.

Sorry again, and please don't take this as a stab at my translation ability.

photoshigenic translations 2008-08, 2008-09

calasander — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 23:30:11 GMT

Say what? More translations!? Hellz yeah! :D
Sorry for the slight lateness, but I have Olympic Fever! GO WORLD!

photoshigenic -- August 2008 Wink Up
scan credit to linrst8
[translator's notes]

-- a genius, ne?
Koyama, Yamashita, and I went to an onsen in the nearby metropolitan area. Perhaps us three really love onsens. All of us can stay in it for a while, and if we get dizzy we sit on the bench in the bathroom and talk. In the end Koyama Keiichiro had this to say: "Whoever thought of onsens must be a genius, right?" ... Koyama-kun. I'm sure of it. But the onsen isn't an invention that some guy devoted his life to make in the past, ne. I think somebody with a face like Koyama back then said "There's steam coming from over there, right?" and because it felt nice he began entering it. That's because an onsen is gushing from the ground. Therefore isn't the real genius the guy who discovers it? But since there are lots of onsens coming from the ground, wouldn't there be a lot of geniuses then? Ahh-- I've gotten myself dizzy thinking about something this stupid. Well, in the end, isn't the onsen the genius?

-- photoshigenic 09
Introduced in the magazine on P.48, this month's polaroid completes the Hakone episode. What's reflected here, in the spaaaacious studio, is Shige pointing towards a white wall. So, everyone please picture this image in your mind. The one of Shige pointing in the direction of the magnificient standing Mt. Fuji. ...And, the actual observation of the whiteness 3m in front of him is expressed like this for us in this polaroid by Shige.
Polaroid: 3776 m! Wow! It's Mt. Fuji!

-- from spring to summer
At the end of May, my friends and I went to Enoshima again. "Wanna go to an aquarium?" was the feeling we had so thanks to a rental car we arrived at Enoshima. After we saw the fish and enjoyed the dolphin show, we went to the beach. In good spirits we played catch, raced each other on foot, but even though we had lots of fun, it was still May. The only ones at the beach were surfers, beach diggers, runners, and construction began on building beach homes. Crows stopped by and stood on the iron poles. With my newly bought camera I took a photo of something so dreary. I unexpectedly took a good photo of something really sad. "This beach isn't so bad" I thought, "I'll be waiting for the summer beach!" It felt like a day that was waiting for a faraway summer.

[If you don't mind me by giving advice, anyone who's planning a trip to Japan should try to stop by Enoshima. It's a bit of a train ride from Tokyo, but it's worth it. Unfortunately I regret missing it while I was there, but if you plan to visit places like Kamakura, or any other beachy location, it's a must. But like all beaches during the spring, it's not much, but it's still pretty and not as dreary as Kato describe it haha.]

photoshigenic -- September 2008 Wink Up
scan credit to EVERYONE who sent it to me. Cookies for all of you! ONOMNOM
[translator's notes]

-- i tried going blond
This month I didn't really see any of the members, and the only one I've seen is Koyama, but because I've gotten a little tired of taking photos of him, this month I'm using my self portrait. When the drama "Hokaben" ended, I made the drastic decision to go blond. I've gotten tired of having black hair, and I can always change it back if I feel like it. So there really wasn't a particular reason behind the change. But, after seeing friend after friend, they would ask me "Why did you dye your hair blond? Is it for your one-man butai?" It seems like I don't have the image of a person with blond hair. At first, I answered "Ahh, no reason really" but then I kept getting asked too much-- eventually it got annoying, so I ended up answering "Yes, that's right." That's why I ended up saying that... for my one man butai I dyed my hair blond. Konnan Yattemimashita!!! ... Sounds good doesn't it? Haa. Haa. Haa.

-- photoshigenic 10
"Let's try being one of the Eito Rangers!" Shige heard during Koyama's interview. "Good idea! For me, what bimyo* color would I be... maybe beige?!" Because he said that, quickly it became a reality. In the photo he used a flag as a mantle, decided on a cool pose, and took the photo with an electric fan blowing his cape in the wind. Koyama said "Beige ranger... how weak" in a comedic way, but this is just a secret.
Polaroid: The center. Beige Ranger has arrived!
[I kind of mish-mashed this part toward the end because I was partly lazy/frustrated/tired. If you think I made a huge error, let me know.]

-- rainbow maker
Last month on July 11, I, Kato Shigeaki turned 21 years old on my birthday and received a lot of presents. I really got a lot of different things... For example, my university friend in the same year as me gave me an espresso machine. It's not that I don't need it, I just don't have a use for it nor a place to put it. For the time being, I just put it beside the sink. Haa. Another friend in the same year as me gave me an alien preserved in formaldehyde. What the hell is this? [HAHA] How do you even make something like this? Again, it's big and flashy. Not to mention I don't need it. But even so, that doesn't mean I should throw it away. So now it's on the back of my dresser. Haa. Haa. But-- from one of my senior friends I received this, a rainbow maker. It takes the sun's rays and spirals it into a prism, and because of that little rainbows arise in the room. This is really really pretty. So stylish. It's rather small but it can do big things. Hey, 20 year olds. You should be giving adults presents like these! Got it?!

*I'm not an Eito fan so I don't know what bimyo is referring to. But the Kanjani Eito is an eight member band that dresses up as the Eito Rangers, kind of like the Power Rangers, except they sing and dance, not fight crime. But I have to say... beige? Out of all the colors in the spectrum? :|

If you're more curious about the rainbow maker, there's a review (which includes a video of how it works) here. Although the one Kato has is a double prism, the single prism works and has the same exact effect-- one of my friends happens to have one of these. :D</div>

photoSHIgenic translations, 06-2008, 07-2008

calasander — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 05:06:23 GMT

Happy Birthday to Shige! Hope everyone is enjoying the birthday posts, because I sure am. Also, not to steal Shige's thunder, but Happy Birthday to me as well, because my birthday is on Sunday. I'm turning 21 too! Hooray for July babies! Enjoy the translations as always.

PS: If anybody has a scan of the latest August 2008 photoSHIgenic in Wink Up, could you scan it? Please? :]

photoSHIgenic -- June 2008 Wink Up
[translator's notes]

--we've become giants!
In the middle of March, I took this photo during the Lawson CM shoot. But, don't you think this picture is a bit strange? When the shoot started, because there was a Lawson inside the studio we thought, let's go in!... huh? We can't? Is it possible that we've become giants!? Doraemo~n!* Don't be tricky with us and use your small light to make us small!... No, it's not that. To create the perspective of a faraway Lawson on a deserted island, they made a mini-Lawson! Oh~ how smart! From the outside to the merchandise inside, everything was small. It's a really really cute Lawson [he uses Kansai-ben here]. But this photo makes these two look like Giants right? Yamashita-kun is lifting the Lawson with his pinky finger. But, with this feeling, in order to become as powerful as Lawson I'd like to try my best. Not as in being on the bottom, but I want to be the strong man underneath Lawson.

--photoshigenic
It's an April Fool's filled with lovable mischief. On this day, a certain member in the scene sent a mischievous mail to Koyama who was taking a break from his stage play*. The result, obedient Koyama saw the message and was deceived, and the member was extremely pleased. During this time in the background he celebrated his birthday, but in this polaroid "WaruShige*" is grinning and laughing. In this month's polaroid, he pressed the shutter button himself, and so he started a so-called challenge. And he performed fairly well. In the corner of the studio, his unaccustomed hand was giving out because of the opposite layout the camera. But Shige has learned how to put himself in the frame of the photo. This time Shige, who is able to manage by himself, has met yet another big expectation!
polaroid: "WaruShige" hehehe... Today is April 1st: April Fool's [The rest is unreadable b/c of the scan quality]

--the soft hum of the sakura
This year the sakura bloomed early~. Once every year I walk through the sakura colonnade by myself but this year I brought my camera with me. While walking through the big park near my house I took lots of various pictures but when you look at sakura with your eyes it's extremely beautiful; yet once you take a picture it becomes ordinary. [SO TRUE. Even with my SLR you just can't capture the beauty of sakura in a photo.] If it's so beautiful then my photography level must be so boring. [lmao, poor Shige] That's why I thought I'd compare with some interesting sakura, like the blossoms at the bottom of the tree. Below the flowers in full bloom at the top, in a seemingly mistaken place there were sakura blooming at the bottom. Unexpectedly in full bloom, it was both a very cute and cool sight. They were gathered together and living strongly. These words were the feelings I had when I took this photo.

Just a side note: I really love the sakura bit. Not only because I think the photo is beautiful, but because every note he hit was exactly what I was thinking when I went to shoot sakura in Tokyo. It's really so much more stunning if you see it with the naked eye-- photos from my SLR just can't compare. And yes, blossoms at the bottom of the tree are just as beautiful as the top ones.

*Doraemon is a SUPER popular anime and manga about a robot named Doraemon from outer space. He has this pocket where he just grabs stuff out of it and does super cool things (like shrinking people in the article).
*Just in case nobody saw the Heyx3 episode, Shige sent a mail to Koyama saying that after Summertime was released, Yamashita would withdraw from the group. Koyama ended up believing the whole thing (he thought: "Without Yamapi it's impossible!") until Shige asked him "What day is it?" to which Koyama replied "Tuesday."
*WaruShige is a combination of the word warui and Shige. Warui being the word for bad.

photoSHIgenic -- July 2008 Wink Up
[translator's notes]

--happy birthday
This guy last month turned 24. I've known him since he was 16, so we've been friends for 8 years now. During this time, him and I saw a video of a TV show we were in 3 years ago, and as I expected, he hasn't changed at all. From when I first met him he hasn't changed one bit. In other words, he's getting younger. This photo is during his live radio broadcast. He had just returned from Guam. He's got tanned skin, a gold necklace, and a sparkly watch. [Shige used the words "kirakira" which is the sfx for glitter-glitter] Instead of turning toward the camera and realizing it was there, he making this face. A lady killer*. Too much of a lady killer. "Lady killer" is a word invented just for this guy. Nah, I'm really praising him. Surely next year or the year after or even when he turns 30 he'll never change. That's for sure. Koyama, Happy Birthday.

--photoshigenic
Usually from the elevator or the entrance to a building, for the sake of a lady coming behind him, he would open the door for her--Kato Shigeaki is a "Ladies First" type of guy; half of his body is gentle and capable. With no exceptions to his kindness, on this day he asked Koyama who returned from Guam, "Koyama, how many nights did you stay in Guam... no, how many times did you sleep?" he asked casually. Without noticing this casualness, Koyama answered with a smile: "Eh~ 3 times!"
polaroid: "Go on ahead." Gentleman level increases.

--Yoorenkin* Week
This was the worst Golden Week*. Honestly, during Golden Week I wasn't off from work, I had work everyday and there was nothing in it for me. At this time, I had to take this medicine. Before the long weekend my throat began to hurt and I started to get a headache, so I went to the doctor. The result of the diagnosis was a streptococcal infection. He told me that this medicine would cure me, but scared by the weird name, on my way home I called my mother. Mom told me, "To think that you caught a child's disease. Seriously.*" It seems like this germ has the image of being common among kids. But that time felt uncommonly bitter. My mom, the only person I consulted, made me feel like an idiot. Because I was angry and I was taking this medicine, for the sake of making it look appealing I took this photo. With this you should understand my pain... Sorry. To be honest, I actually haven't been taking this medicine. I mixed medicine from illnesses I had in the past and took this photo. But that was really bitter, Mom. [I think Shige needs a hug. *hug*]

*The word he uses here is "Charai" which is Kansai slang. It's commonly used as "an easy lay" for example, "That girl is charai." Given the context, I don't really think that's what Shige meant (Koyato fans might think otherwise) so I tweaked it just a bit. Hope you don't mind.
*Yoorenkin is short for a disease that he contracted. It's too long, honestly. But the pun here is that "kin" means gold, so it's just a sarcastic way of saying Golden Week.
*Golden Week is usually the first full week of April where there are a bunch of holidays, and because of that, Japan though it'd be better to just make the whole week a holiday. I really wish they had something like that in the States. But to be honest it's really chaotic especially in airports and major transportation hubs because EVERYBODY goes on vacation, and it's impossible to get anywhere.
*Shige's mom uses the word "Mattaku." It usually has a somewhat negative connotation, combining the feelings of "Are you serious?" and "I can't believe this happened" or "I'm annoyed." It loses some of its power when translated to English.

And if anyone has the August 2008 scan, or if there is one at all, please upload it! If not, then I'm afraid I can't provide a translation. :[</div>

photoSHIgenic translations 2008-04, 2008-05

calasander — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 06:11:16 GMT

First I'd like to say, sorry for the delay! This week I had my midterm for my investments class, plus I started working two jobs, so I haven't gotten the time to translate lately. This weekend I'll probably start working on the next two articles, and once they're done, I'll be all caught up for the August issue. We'll see how long it takes me, because I have to start studying for finals, and prepare for the JLPT in December.

As always, enjoy the articles!

photoSHIgenic -- Wink Up April 2008
scan credit to diamondsjack

--Iizaa*
I recently bought a new camera. I brought it with me into the waiting room during our concert at Sendai. On that day the catering menu included Caesar Salad, and when I was eating it with Koyama we fooled around and said "This Caesar is delicious! It's good! It's not Caesar, it's Iizaa!" After hearing this Koyama, while fooling around during the concert flipped a colored piece of paper and wrote "Iizaa" on the back. Then the artist Tegoshi returned (You can see his works every month at NEWS Q10). Koyama and I recklessly asked him "Ne, Tegoshi, draw what you think an Iizaa would be" and without refusing he said "Ok!" So what he was able to do was this. Exactly what has his imagination turned into, I wonder. It was too funny, so I snapped it with my new camera. But my regret is... this had to be the first picture I took with it... Afterwards Koyama took the sign and during the concert, threw it to the fans.

--photoshigenic
On this day, on the illustration subject for NEWS Q10 of "Dinosaur," with lots of confidence Shige began drwaing with his pen and his mood changed. "A Dinosaur, to be honest I don't know what color they were, do you?" "The Dinosaur's ancestor is the bird, yes, Bird [said in English] (the R sound was perfect) is what they say," he said, announcing his Dinosaur trivia. At first the whole staff went "Fu~uun" and started asking him questions but then the conversation became long and as it continued he began to get boring. The complaint about his responses in this month's portfolio... they've been expressed like this?! (By the way the drawing of his Dinosaur was evaluated as "the evolved hamster")
Polaroid: The color of dinosaur is not really the color that we see in the encyclopedia...but, we don't actually know the real color, so they just picked the color at random. What is the real color of dinosaurs anyway?
He is supposed to be Einstein but turned into Noguchi Hideyo. (thank you, hanako_banako 's mom!)

--Today is a Suit
The Coming of Age Ceremony* has finally come. I say this but I didn't go to the celebration that was held for me, instead I went out to a Coming of Age party with my middle and high school classmates who turned 20. My friends and everybody came wearing suits, and I put on the suit that I wore to my university entrance ceremony which I haven't worn in a long time, so I wore it and left [check translation]. Afterwards I was taking pictures with my digicam but my friends didn't want their photos taken, so during the ceremony I took one of myself with the self timer. At the party, without looking at everyone you can tell that the girls became ladies and more beautiful, and the boys became gentlemen and looked a lot cooler. In life this one day brings feelings of joy and loneliness, but from now on like this suit I'd like to appear as good as this.

*I changed this from what I wrote before, because I thought that what hanako_banako wrote made more sense. いい is how you say something is good, so いいシーザー (ii shiizaa)　is how they would say "good Caesar salad." And as we all know, Japanese people love to shorten phrases, so Shige's on the fly slang for good Caesar salad becomes イーザー.
*Noguchi Hideyo "also known as Seisaku Noguchi, was a prominent Japanese bacteriologist who discovered the agent of syphilis in 1911" says Wikipedia.
*The Coming of Age Ceremony is held in the beginning of January for people who turn 20. There's a celebration held for them where the girls wear kimonos, men wear hakama or something similar. In Tokyo, usually they would go to the Meiji shrine which is located right next to Harajuku. ~~I'm assuming Shige just bypassed that and went off partying instead.~~ Please read!

Side note: I'm not Tegoshi fangirl, but I have to say that he looks ADORABLE in that photo.

photoSHIgenic -- Wink Up May 2008
[translator's notes]

--Miracle Rabbit
Today was the shoot for Wink Up. I was together with Tegoshi and Massu. When the first part was finished I was saying "That rabbit is so small and cute~~" but on the side a scared look came across Massu's face. "Eh?!-- There's a rabbit?! No way, no way!" he said while making a fuss. Tegoshi and I have gotten tired of this already. There are also many people who know that he cannot communicate with anyone besides human beings. Even if it's with dogs or cats, he cannot approach them. He always tells us that he's a really clean person, so this is definitely something that makes him nervous. But this day was different... during the shoot, was that a photo of Massu holding that rabbit?! And also a smile?! (Refer to pg 52) I keep telling Massu to lighten up a bit [check translation]. Good luck Massu. One day I look forward to when other animals and your heart can live together.

--photoshigenic
While shooting for Wink Up, Shige received a notice that he would appear in the drama "Hokaben." As an intelligent student in the law department, everyone requested him "Tell us law trivia!" The prideful part of Shige roared as he presented his knowledge of law. But the next moment, "Now that you mention it, did you suntan too much and become jet black?" said his manager. And immediately to that "In my case, then call me a cockroach!" he replied without being affected. "As expected from a law student at Aoyama Gakuin!" said everyone, fascinated. That was Shige who lately has been busy all the time.
Polaroid: Aoyama Gakuin University 3rd year student, Kato Shigeaki. I've already become a lawyer.

--Australian Suntan
For three nights and five days I took a bullet tour in Australia. I talked about this on the NEWS page but it was reaaally the best~ But what happened was that a koala scratched me with his sharp claws, and in Japan I got asked by the members, the staff, and my friends "How is your wound feeling?" and I'd tell them "Nah, it's ok, a koala just scatched me." But since it was unexpected and koalas are a source of business, I hugged the koala but then stayed away from it. But it was definitely very cute. This photo is from the boat at Cairns above the world's asset, the Great Barrier Reef. The sea and the sky are both wonderful and beautiful. On this day there were very few Japanese people so I spent the entire time on the deck until dusk. Thanks to that now I'm all black. And I have a T-Shirt suntan. My arms and face are tanned by my body is all white. Ah~ I've really done it. Because of that I think I want to go to Australia again and this time, handsomely tan. What a luxury.

I ended up laughing at the last part. Shige with a farmer's tan. LMAO. I remember my brother had one and it's probably the funniest (and most unfortunate) tan ever.

photoSHIgenic translations 2008-02, 2008-03

calasander — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 05:55:01 GMT

Please correct me if you feel I have made any mistakes. I still don't have the April 2008 issue of Wink Up with photoshigenic 005, so if anybody has it please scan it! Otherwise, enjoy!

photoSHIgenic -- Wink Up Feb 2008
[translator's notes]

--Photo of a Double Rainbow!
In November, during the RUSS-K commercial shoot, I took a photo of when everyone in News went to Hawaii. The shoot lasted for 3 days, and this is a photo during the last day. But as expected from an ameotoko*, we were interrupted halfway because of rain. I thought "Crap, this is probably all my fault!" but then the rain stopped, and there was a pretty rainbow! And then there were two that appeared on top of each other -- "Double Rainbow." I rushed to get my camera out but there was no film in it, and while hurrying I took a photo of the rainbow outside as it was fading (laughs). I don't like the angle at all, but the whole staff was busy taking pictures, so I guess this is just "shigenic" (laughs). Earlier, the staff told me, "In Hawaii, if you see a rainbow, that means you'll be able to return someday." Alright, next time in Hawaii, I'll always be prepared with film in my camera (laughs).

--photoshigenic
On this day, as soon as he opened the door at the entrance of the studio, Koyama who had entered the studio earlier asked Kato, the cameraman, "Do an impression of Hiraizumi Sei-san*!" Then 0.2 seconds later, "Oku-san [referring to a married woman], will you please accompany me?" he said, perfectly meeting everyone's expectations, as always from his quick wits. Then Koyama asked what were the origins of the name "daigakuimo*" and he easily answered, "Well, when it becomes time for class, I walk from the direction of a daigakuimo shop." [daigakuimo is spelled with the kanji for university] Without knowing the actual meaning himself, Kato Intelli-aki still said this with certainty. But a couple minutes later the staff said "nanmone--zo*!" but the genius misheard it "Eh? ramurezun?" and exposed himself in such a regretful state. He really helps us relax here. But on this day, outside the studio, a long line of women hoping to accompany him suddenly appeared!
Polaroid: Speech bubble says "Oku-san, you're the culprit, right?" And the arrow is pointing to a blotted out object, which says "This is the police." The bottom says "Will you please accompany me?" [I'm guessing Hiraizumi Sei was in a police drama.]

--Is this Koyama?
This picture was taken on the day we arrived in Hawaii. By the way, the person in the picture is Koyama, who I'm still close friends with. In our hotel room there was a Hawaiian CD left for us, so while listening to it, I took a photo when we were on the veranda watching the extremely beautiful sunset. I've gone to Hawaii many times but now it's begun to feel better and more like "The Hawaii." We ate rocomoco, listened to Hawaiian music, breathed the fresh Hawaiian air, watched the beautiful sunset-- all of our five senses were stimulated so it was really a great time. I just started to listen to Hawaiian music but I think it's best if you hear it in Hawaii. Koyama here looks really cool right? [the word he uses is "handsome" but you can't even see his face! So I changed it to make more sense] In other words, yeah, in this, Koyama probably fits in very well.

*ameotoko is a phrase for a man (or woman for ameonna) who, wherever he happens to go, it always ends up raining.
*Hiraizumi Sei is a famous actor, I don't really know what he's famous for. If somebody else knows...
*daigakuimo are candied sweet potatoes. Yes, they sound as good as they taste.
*"nanmone--zo" basically means "It's nothing" but Kato misheard it as "Rum Raisin" (I think. It's what I first thought of when I read it.)

photoSHIgenic -- Wink Up Mar 2008
[translator's notes]

--Stolen photo
The Tokyo Dome performance was decided but, could we really do it? By the time I thought about it, the day arrived in a flash. This is a picture of our rehearsal at this location. A year ago when we returned to the countdown live, Yamashita-kun, as if he were reciting a soliloquy on stage, mumbled, "I wonder when will we be able to perform at the Tokyo Dome..." I had completely forgotten about that scene. But it only took us 1 year to realize this dream. Again, the fans emptied their pockets to come to the Tokyo Dome with mixed emotions of excitement and anxiousness, and their feelings of nervousness grew. In this picture I took at the Tokyo Dome the person here is Yamashita-kun. Whenever I try to swing back to this time, this black and white photo would remind me of this unique feeling. A remembrance photo of a certain significance. But I couldn't ask Yamashita-kun, "Look over here!" so I sneaked a big smile from him. [Shige uses the phrase "High Cheese!" which is what people normally say when they mean "big smile"]

--photoshigenic
Today's polaroid was taken with no plans-- Shige decided to come with a very white bag that made him appear like a "Boss Prince." "What would be good to write, I really have no idea," said Shige, who wasn't used to this Prince character. "Who would you say is the Prince of NEWS?" "Eh~ Yamashita-kun!" "If you say it's Yamapi, it's because of his super cool solo, ne?" "Eh? The Fountains?" From the staff's conversation this was written on the polaroid: "Shige, as Yamapi during his cool solo." After that was written he said "Write, 'I did it with your momentum. Sorry!' just in case." very meekly. Yamashita-kun, everybody in the studio decided to post your momentum! So this month, here are Shige's newly written entries. Please feel the many thoughts crowded within each photo!
Polaroid: Shige impersonation Yamapi's "Gomen ne Juliet." He drew the fountains in the background and the audience's "kya! kya!" as well.

--Mom's Zouni* is really delicious!
Usually, I don't know the flavor of my mom's cooking. In her cooking, whatever I like or no matter what I ask for it would never come through. It's not that it tastes bad, whatever she makes is always good. But especially this! I have no words for it. But recently I realized that my mom's zouni is pretty delicious. Actually, its really gooooood. Though if you write zouni in kanji, it's definitely not sloppy. If you take out the kurikinton* or kuromame*, normally I don't like New Year's food and I don't think I have any particular fixation on it. But I always wait every year for the sake of this zouni. Anyway, Kato Shigeaki's recommendation to brag about his mom's cooking is introduced in this photograph. By the way, the hands in the photo are my mom's. My mom and I sometimes... in other words, we have zouni once a year.

*Zouni is a New Year's dish which is basically grilled rice cakes boiled with vegetables.
*Kurikinton is chestnuts pureed with sweet potatoes, also a New Year's dish.
*Kuromame is another New Year's food, which is black soybeans with sugar.

Please scan photoshigenic 005 in April 2008's issue of Wink Up if you have it! Also, please credit if redistributing these translations.</div>

photoSHIgenic translations 2007-12, 2008-01

calasander — Fri, 23 May 2008 05:55:24 GMT

Since I don't see them posted anywhere, I've decided to translate Shige's photoSHIgenic. There's only six that I can find at the moment (I don't have the April 2008 scan). I'm doing this on a "find the scan and translate" basis because I currently don't have the money to buy issues of Wink Up or the time. I'm going to translate the ones that are available on my free time, and if the scans are provided, the ones for the future as well. I'd like to do this because I think this column is really funny and interesting, and I personally love it because now I feel like I'm not the only one in the world who still shoots film.

Happy reading! This is my first time translating so I hope it goes well!

photoSHIgenic -- Wink Up Dec 2007
[translator's notes]

--Shimosuwa
This is a photo of when I went to Shimosuwa with Koyama and Massu. When we were discussing "Where should we go?" it somehow became "Let's go to Shimosuwa!" and suddenly we boarded the train and left. By the way, Koyama is on the left. Because the excitement was rising, when we saw this we had to do it (laughs). Afterwards, we went to an onsen. But we completely forgot that it was Sunday . When we went there, it was Children's Waiwai Day (laughs). [Basically Children's Day] This Waiwai condition is very uncommon. While Koyama and Massu were receiving massages, I was sleeping. It seems like the kids were telling them, "Kenta-senpai is sleeping over there!" (laughs). I was surprised that it was Waiwai Day, but I had fun. I've been on trips with Koyama before but with Massu... it's kind of rare. We're talking about going to Utsunomiya next time and having gyoza.

--photoshigenic, start!
I've just started photography, but it's already a world that I'm into. But at a loss, I'd begin to yell "Alright, let's shoot!" but there'd be no film in the camera. At Okinawa, although I'd think "Let's take tropical pictures!" all the photos would be in black and white. I must be somewhat anxious (laughs). I'm a small amateur cameraman so I'll leave it to the professionals to take beautiful pictures, and I hope that you will enjoy my photos and comments. From now on, douzo yoroshiku! [honestly, I can never translate yoroshiku without it sounding really cheesy, so I hope that the context will do the translating for me]
written on the photo: Read it! My new album!

--be careful
This time, when I was taking a walk in my town I accidentally found this. When I saw this cushion material wrapped around this tree, I thought people must've been hitting their heads on it. I can definitely see that it's a warning to be careful (laughs). But even after wrapping the tree, there are still many collision marks left on it. It must be because many people are still colliding with the tree. It's strange how everyone is carelessly walking, so I decided to take a picture. When I go out for a walk, lately I've been bringing my camera with me. I develop my film at the same place every time, but lately the old lady at the shop would say "Wait, there's not enough exposures*" or give me advice (laughs). Since I have this opportunity, I should properly study photography. Eh, the meaning of exposure? I-I know! Eh~ it's something related to lighting! So if there aren't enough exposures... w-wait cameraman-saaaan! (laughs)

----
*Just in case it might be confusing to some, every roll of film has a certain amount of exposures, or pictures you can take (either 24 exp, or 36 exp for 35mm). What the old lady is saying is that he hasn't taken enough pictures to fill the roll. LMAO, nice one Shige xD

photoSHIgenic -- Wink Up Jan 2008
[translator's notes]

--bu--shi--meiguanshi--!
This is a picture of when all the fans gathered in Taiwan. From the five-stories pagoda the view was really great, and then I realized for the first time, "I've come to Taiwan!" This is when everyone's excitement had gotten really high. Gathering here was also very fun. At this time, I did an imitation of Kojima Yoshio* in front of everyone. "Sonna no kankei ne~" in the Beijing Dialect [I'm guessing he means Chinese?] is "bu--shi--meiguanshi--" ... the interpreter spread the message like a game [must like telephone] and I finally heard it from Yamashita-kun. But I think they might've made a mistake. In other words, since Kojima only has Japanese fans, it sounds better if it were in Japanese. But everybody really laughed at it, so it made me happy.

--photoshigenic
"Lately, I've been feeling like an 'oranyan,'" said Kato Shigeaki, the cameraman. "Oranyan*" is synonymous with the popular girl's phrase "tsundere." A man constantly saying "ora ora (a common boy's saying)" is very bold and aggressive, but then he would be sweet to his "goronyan <3"... in other words, he's really a very troublesome character. In a man's case, "ora" has become a part of Kansai-ben, and a very unique custom. This month in one photo, he'll capture the simultaneous flash of "ora" and "nyan." In our current society, this picture will be taken as a plan for everyone. [Not definite about this sentence] But "oranyan" could only mean something sad, so they must be hiding all of their sadness. Indeed, they are timid people. [This description was particularly hard to translate]
photo: Shige's acting cute like a cat, but his face looks bitter and angry-- basically, his interpretation of an oranyan.

--now, it's my popular time
During a photo session for a drama we went to a sunlit Edo village, and this is a closeup picture of a small nearby river. I'm very popular with koi* (laughs). It seems that people are popular for three times during their life. Since I feel like I've been popular twice already in the past, maybe this is the last time I'll ever be popular (laughs). But still, this was really amazing. When I lightly glanced over, all of them came rushing near, and that image really scared me. "Please feed us~" was what he felt the fish were painfully saying, so the very popular Shige felt like he had to buy some food... so we went and bought some for them from some nearby shop ladies. The ladies were very pleased. By the way, there was a 100 sheet long bill for that food (laughs).

----
*Kojima Yoshio is a popular celebrity in Japanese variety shows. Basically, all he does is parade in a thong and shout "Sonna no kankei ne!" (This has nothing to do with it!) while doing a special gesture. I can't really describe what he does, but I bet he's definitely on Youtube somewhere.
*Oranyan is basically a man who is cold towards his friends and other people, but towards his girlfriend, he becomes a sap. It's short for "Ora Ora Nyan Nyan" where "ora" is an aggressive man word and "nyan" is meow for kitties. Tsundere is the same but for girls.
*Koi, just in case nobody knows, are those asian fishies you find in Asian gardens and stuff.

I thought the last part, with the koi, was hilarious xD</div>