Tell me again, why do I need one of these things?

er... hi?

buzzylittleb — Tue, 17 Dec 2019 18:01:02 GMT

Hello. When my last computer blew up (or pretty close, the hard drive went kerrrrrrunnnnncccchhhh) and I spent a month waiting for my new one, I got out of the writing habit entirely and this blew Booked For Murder out of the Water. Since then, I guilt-tripped myself off livejournal because I am that sort of a person and I didn't want to let people down.

buzzylittleb — Thu, 13 Dec 2018 18:49:02 GMT

I've been 'writing' updates about small, cool things (and dosk's elaborate but awful jokes) but the only place I've been publishing them is in my head. I have still got the guilt/anxiety/avoid thing going. :-(

Other than that, there is not really much to say. After two weeks computer-less, my writing mojo pretty much upped sticks and didn't return and I felt guilty about not having any progress to report.

This has been a very big scary/anxious thing to post this so I'm really pushing my boundaries here.

buzzylittleb — Thu, 30 Aug 2018 16:01:27 GMT

This is really, really scary writing this post. I'm having some issues.

[explaining them contributes to the scary - there are other big things but I don't want to talk about them because they are bad and feed each other and then it's even scarier ]

okay, end of post

buzzylittleb — Fri, 25 May 2018 15:43:42 GMT

find a walrus

a walrus?

it means don't read the damned book or let your grandmother coerce you into reading it - you know what it means son - feed that book to a -- look, do what you did last time, with the aboriginal boy and the--

walrus?

exactly, son, destroy that book with prejudice and gumption

gun-- ham--? what does that mean?

it means I've spent too much time with your uncle buck and not enough with you. i'm coming, son, if it means hitching up the dogs and make like the wind for the first mail plane out - i'm coming for you, son,

i'm coming for you. i'm going to give your grandma a few words about how i want my son brought up

Hello (writing woe)

buzzylittleb — Sat, 12 May 2018 18:40:35 GMT

I've finally got a nice working whizzo computer.

I've also got one of those "how did I not consider that?" moments.

If our victim is booked in with her legal name, Lisa Anne Turson, how does anybody know that professionally she goes by the nom-de-plume AnnaLise Treason? Why the hell would Welsh and the Chicago boys in blue know that she is the writer of several low-brow but high-selling novels and a minor-league Canadian celebrity slash sociopath? This is why the RCMP have their collective knickers in a twist. So, who told them (I know) and who passed it onto the RCMP and subsequently passed it on to the CPD (no clue?).

I think I am going to have to rewrite the entire starting scenario and reboot the crazier tone (and possibly my beloved character stuff) into something a bit more... *something*

ETA: I see jettisoning. All the really cool things hanging on from COYA. :-(

{hopefully, it's not that bad}

An Update

buzzylittleb — Sun, 29 Apr 2018 09:44:10 GMT

That is the most boring post title ever (sorry).

Uhm, the build start day on my (semi custom) computer has shifted to Monday. So I can't expect delivery before Friday (if I don't go mad first). I keep getting stuck for things to do and I am thoroughly cheesed off with the cross stitch thing (nigh unreadable chart, indistinguishable backgrounds, and the dread big green lumps) and colouring is beginning to lose its appeal.

Squid (the laptop) is not up and running. Dosk has spent a lot of time saying interesting words about Microsoft and their update/fixing systems. Windows 7 is feeling rather under the weather.

I should really breakout the tablet and do something with that. I am trying to avoid dragging out the Little Black Box (my beloved and first desktop computer) from the back of the wardrobe but it is really just a matter of time / willpower / won'tpower.

hmmmmm... there is little else to delight you with, so I am going to eat a jam sandwich and read a paper.

buzzylittleb — Wed, 25 Apr 2018 19:21:53 GMT

Dosk and Dad have determined that my computer is a zombie computer. Either the processor or the motherboard is screwed and they're not exactly repairable. So, I need to buy a new desktop.

My erstwhile (smallish) laptop, otherwise known as Squid, remains as slow as something very slow but Dosk and I have been scouring it of OEM bloatware and hopefully, we might even get a working computer rather than a desk ornament/word-processor. I've only been using the thing as a (clunky) word-processor and quarantine machine. It can barely run two windows at a time and then sulks about it. Actually, it does nothing better than my first did except run slower. Okay, so that one couldn't attach to the internet (not a big issue in 1998) and save things to an external floppy drive. It was about the size and thickness of a hardback, which was seriously wow c.1998 (and explains the external floppy).

So, Squid might end up usable and may even get up close and personal with Pencil if it doesn't slow the thing down too much. Pencil is my plot-planning essential - I have lots of flow diagrams etc in it and they make me happy.

So, I'm missing out on computer things and getting stuck for anything else to do.

oh knickers

buzzylittleb — Sun, 22 Apr 2018 16:54:37 GMT

My computer really has up and died on me. (or is just very very super ill)

I hadn't bothered to back up a lot of my booked for murder notes. :-(

Every couple/treble of days I would back up to dropbox.

I just thought that there was going to be a time when it would be less of a bother. :-(

Still, I have some of the stuff on dropbox (from when I did bother) :-|

Sadly, the missing stuff was rather important (how to kill your mother, death by maple syrup, serious pathological nutcases and a clue tree [one of the "laws" of Agatha Christie style novels is that all the necessary information is revealed to the reader] and the last(ish) "oh my god, [somebody] is killing [blank] Canadians associated with [murder trigger event / traumatic experience that scared the killer for life and got them into killing Canadians in the first place].

Note to self:

*The boys are only "turned on" to the [Ex-Agent] after Turnbull has done some of this amazing research skills and negotiated with some of his 'contacts' and found somebody with access to newspaper archives.

ETA: going to post my pc back to manufacturer with a summary of (increasing) fail.
ETA 2: excuse for therapeutic shopping?

ETA 3: [husband] was not aware that [son] was anywhere near the [avery] and had not informed [the boys] that he did (because, obvs, no connection) and had to phone [college admin] to get his telephone number (They are estranged and out of contact because [son] refusing to communicate "because") so that he can break the news of his [mom]'s murder rather than let the [police] tell him (and then traumatise [son]) only this is a Bad Thing. They killed the [PA] because she knew he was in Chicago and so would have to die (so the police don't know about him and he is not a suspect and it will really piss [Chrissy] off if they don't accomplish her [original murder plan]) or everything will fail massively. (Confused much? This is why I have flow charts. If anyone knows about [son] then everything will trail back to him and hence to [Chrissy] who ~~possibly~~ overlooked giving a false name when she checked in... so, they can't let this get back to the cops when (having warned son) [husband] tells the cops about him...

[son] obv not with [Chrissy] on her (amended) continuing plan - kill [his dad] to shut him up and then kill [her dad] who was the person she wanted to kill in the first place (before she got greedy). Generally, people don't like killing their parent(s) unless they have a really good reason. [son] had a really good reason to kill [victim] and was planning on a "happily ever after" with [his dad]. He argues, she remonstrates with a [huge bottle of inferior maple syrup] to the head with serious intent.

She ends up with choice: forensically get out first and then go murder [his dad] / skip forensics and get out to murder [his dad] sooner and minimise the gap in which he could tell the police. (sounds like gobbledegook - another reason for the bleeding flow diagrams).

The "skip forensics" option doesn't play out anyway, [the boys] have the [secret weapon] that she hasn't.

buzzylittleb — Fri, 20 Apr 2018 17:34:46 GMT

"... yeah, but this is a canadian logic thing, down the rabbit hole stuff"

"Turnbull, stop giggling, Ray's having his Inspector Colombo moment"

"I heard that"

sorry, Ray. Could you please continue?

ooooh! I have the internet! - random, random, archaeology on mars, booked for murder, anything!

buzzylittleb — Thu, 19 Apr 2018 11:19:09 GMT

Our ISP is not popular in our house right now:

We had no internet for a week.

This was (unsurprisingly) tedious and frustrating.

---------

I have done an extreme amount of typing for ONL - this week, again, he is in a surprisingly good mood.

Q: How many archaeologists does it take to install a light-bulb?
A: Four (including ONL doing the supervising) but you need all of them. It was the big central spot and about 20ft above the ground and if you drop, there's roman concrete a foot thick waiting to meet you.

Quoth ONL "buzzy, I have a special little job for you"
Quoth Me "ulp"
Quoth ONL "eat these left over biscuits."
WTF?

---------

I have been doing some stuff with "booked for murder" and there quite possibly be a third body. Seriously. It messes up the ending so I think I am going to downgrade it to knocked out (and unable to tell the boys anything useful) - I think death/concussion by catering size bottle of ersatz maple sauce hefted at you by a girlfriend who is angry you are not murdering enough people... is very unique. Things are getting very flow-charty here - huge "who knows what pages" and "50 ways to kill you mother" [sadly, no, there aren't 50 ways as much as there are not 57 varieties, but I like the song].

Writing Stuff

buzzylittleb — Mon, 09 Apr 2018 15:43:55 GMT

Okay, I've found a new, better way to manage the Booked For Murder project. I am using Pencil (a nifty open source screen stuff prototyping program which, more importantly, can do flow diagrams <3) to set up an Interview Bank - everyone's answers to questions minus the characterisation stuff that ties me in knots. Basically, it's who said what when and can pick holes in the boys' actions and omissions.

e.g. if Ray had shown the Receptionist the Victim Photo, they would have known that the Receptionist had only met a Imposter Victim and not be short a Witness.

Americadians: please name a general surface cleaning / sanitising product / multi-purpose disinfectant. Bonus points if it is pine-scented (which totally does not disguise the product but makes it worse). Something like "Detol" in the UK (or possibly even TCP - my boss likes the smell and keeps an open bottle in our office whenever the weather gets vaguely infectious)

smiles and waves

buzzylittleb — Fri, 06 Apr 2018 19:36:50 GMT

I haven't updated lately. BFM is up in the air. There are too many bits lurking all over the place.

I have, however, been stitching. This is good.

buzzylittleb — Mon, 02 Apr 2018 12:17:42 GMT

Ray used some words that didn't appear in any of Fraser's Polish phrasebooks.

Thinking Allowed (booked for murder) - exploring the Consulate.

buzzylittleb — Fri, 30 Mar 2018 19:50:43 GMT

Previously on due South, Ray Kowalski sought (and found) Asylum in the Canadian Consulate.

Now in Booked For Murder he has temporary official status in the Royal Canadian Mounted Police as the American-Canadian Temporary Liaison Officer. As an 'official' exchange officer, he has full access to the 'behind the scenes' section of the Diplomatic Services Detachment based in the Territory of Illinois in the City Known as Chicago.

The parking garages: completely unfit for [intended] use. Very fit for any use the Security Team (who have the keys) protecting the Consulate and all who work in her. Turnbull uses it to keep his motorcycle. There is a distinctly illegal firing range running the length of the corridor that connects the individual car-parking unit things.

___________________________________________
   corridor (be careful)           target | 
_______   ________  ________   ________   / emergency exit door
         ]          ]         ]          ]|
garage 1 ] garage 2 ] garage 3] garage 4 ]|
motor    ] official ]{moffats}] official ]|
cycle    ] storage  ]{car is }] paperwork]|
do not   ] large    ]{stuck  }] etc - end]|
touch    ] Consular ]{here he}] bricked  ]|
pain of  ] equipm ~ ]{ignored}] up by the]|
pain     ] + junk   ]{advice }] boys     ]|

The parking bays are too narrow to open the car doors and you must back in carefully if you want to drive out.

Guess what? Consul Moffatt (sp?) didn't listen to (well, completely ignored) the Mounties when they told him not to use the parking garage. The bays are too narrow for you to open your door and exit your vehicle. The very tight entrances also mangle your wing mirrors if you don't fold them in first. You must reverse in if you want to get out again. The Consul had to smash his windscreen to get out of the vehicle and it hasn't moved since. The only suggestion for how to get it out is to disassemble it and then rebuild it somewhere else. The Consul is too tight to pay anyone to do this.

There is also the Junior Officers' Ready Room is about the size of Fraser's office but with a three-seater couch stuffed in (Fraser and Turnbull disassembled it one weekend) and a television. Tucked under a macramé antimacassar is a (very contraband) beer cooler (Fraser and Turnbull tested it after re-assembling the couch) and a noticeboard complete with a sign-up sheet for a trip to the Vancouver Gay Pride event. Since Fraser and Turnbull are not permitted to go on leave at the same time, this seems a little redundant. The RCMP pay for officially-sanctioned group social events... so if there is a group sign-up form, that makes it an official social event...

There is also a strictly STAFF ONLY bathroom. Ray now qualifies. Fraser keeps his wash bag and shaving stuff on the windowsill. This is very useful.

Very ETA: My ascii art worked fine when I uploaded this darn thing - why it has collapsed now, I really don't know. *miffed*

Extra ETA: fuck it, lj

Double ETA: does this work on browsers that are not Chrome?

Answer: yes [opera, internet explorer and edge tested] [also, firefox]

buzzylittleb — Fri, 30 Mar 2018 10:27:08 GMT

Hello. Haven't been writing (or internetting) much because I am working on EQ's Christmas present (confused? gift from EQ). It's a dmc "little mermaid" kit (not the Disney version, the original Hans Christian Andersen version) and it has one of the worst, most evil, hard-to-read charts I have ever encountered. I do a lot of cross stitch (I sort of omitted the 'cross stitch' bit, didn't I?) and this was bad. Photocopied to double size = still nearly unreadable. *yikes* I resorted to colour pencils (and that doesn't help very much) in seriously unnatural colours, so I now have zombie day-of-the-dead mermaid. :-|

I woke up and had another "it doesn't work because it doesn't belong in here in the first place' moments about booked for murder (the due South [Agatha Christie style] project of DOOM) and now I don't know whether to do some writing/chopping now or do some more mermaid.

-~-~-

Fraser has realised that most Chicagoans can't distinguish between Mounties. Following the murder of a Canadian Novelist, the RCMP have informed the CPD that they will be taking the case and are sending their crack International Investigation Task Force [it needs a much snappier name - Turnbull has ideas] to investigate. There is no International Task Force. There hasn't ever been an International Task Force.

So, the International Task Force has been created to save [RCMP] face in front of the Americans and actually consists of: 2 Mounties, 1 American Liaison Officer and their Regimental Mascot. Yes, Dief has an official job description for the sole purpose of legitimising Fraser's ~~half-wolf~~ pure-breed (sp) Malamute presence in the Consulate [as conceived by the Fraser/Turnbull brain trust].

Because most of the Chicago population (including any CPD personnel who haven't previously met Fraser) can't distinguish between Mounties, the Task Force consists of Mountie-With-A-Hat, Mountie-Without-A-Hat, Mountie-Without-A-Hat-But-Wearing-His-Forage-Cap-Instead, Mountie-With-Black-Hair, Mountie-With-Brown-Hair, Mountie-With-Blond-Hair-But-Also-Laryngitis (Sorry, Ray), ~~Mountie-In-A-Brown-Uniform (Fraser's pre-1970 'classic' look)~~, Mountie-In-A-Blue-Uniform (Turnbull in the current modern-style uniform), Mountie-Telephone-Operator...

I think you get the idea. An expert team will be deploying according to their respective specialisms, so most people never see more than two Mounties at any time. This is an evil plan.

Note to me: Fraser has a box of 'props' in the back of the Mom Mobile.

buzzylittleb — Fri, 23 Mar 2018 13:10:06 GMT

It was the sad and sorry truth; few people actively looked at Fraser.

Booked For Murder

buzzylittleb — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 12:02:09 GMT

Oh fuck! I can't find something VERY IMPORTANT about Fraser and reverse-camoflague (sp).

I seriously needs it!

buzzylittleb — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 10:12:05 GMT

To Fraser, the [Torrington West] was a bathetic disappointment. Even if Welsh’s giddy recall of the place was exaggerated, Fraser would have still imagined something more exotic than this melamine purgatory. Fraser had a fanciful notion that there would be luxurious surroundings, dazzling iridescent lights, frantic activity and beautiful people. When Fraser was much younger, squared away in the soft, warm, torch-lit embrace of his blankets, he could read and dream of a place far away from his own, cold existence. Tall beautiful women dressed in high pointed shoes and draped in fur smoking from cigarette holders. Sharp-suited young men of dubious background seduced rich widows and pretty yet foolish girls.

buzzylittleb — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 10:10:44 GMT

lj, can I have my old interface back please? this one is just not working for me.

and i want my most recent commments thing back on my home page pls.

i want my home page back

this one doesn't mean anything

---

the only problem was that the locked/friends/public drop down wasn't there so i assumed the interface had broken - :-(

ETA: sorted! Thank you lj!

buzzylittleb — Fri, 16 Mar 2018 10:14:05 GMT

If the buzzy!puter isn't ~~dead~~ then it is still extremely ill.

To add to the fun: it isn't just the buzzy!puter with brain ache.

Update: buzzy!puter stable enough to get data out for back up (nothing else guaranteed). My brain continues fried.

I don't know if we still do this but...

buzzylittleb — Sun, 11 Mar 2018 20:17:12 GMT

They have called this day the eleventh of March. And whom-so-ever of you gets through this day unless you are shot in the head or somehow slain you will stand a hipnal when e'er you hear the name again and you will get excited at the name March the eleventh. We happy few, we few, we band of brothers our names will be as like household names. Those who are not here be they sleeping or doing something else, they will feel themselves - sort of crappy. Because they are not here to, to join the fight. On this day March the eleventh!

-- Leslie Nielsen as Buck Frobisher

buzzylittleb — Thu, 08 Mar 2018 11:23:33 GMT

For some reason I am not entirely sure of, [does that need a comma?] I am still trying to write Bob's version of The Talk. Bob considers himself a quite modern parent and when compared to Fraser's grandmother certainly is. I also have a mental version of how he tries to convince his mother that masturbation is not a crime against nature etc but now recommended by physicians in order to [verb] the function of the [equipment?] mechanism and prevent blockages and such like of the [tubes] and ensure

Argh! I can't do Victorian!think this early in the morning.

Also, Turnbull works in Criminal Intelligence b~~ut has a special role in the new era of Forensic Computing with reference to the internet. [I'm sure I can fit that into Mountie!speak with some effort]~~ --->

Booked for Murder

buzzylittleb — Wed, 07 Mar 2018 14:47:38 GMT

Regarding Booked for Murder [my attempt at writing fan fiction], things are beginning to become a little less weird. The plot is still rather odd [think Agatha Christie writing an episode of due South with some help form Paul Gross on acid] and the suspects are still strange [uh, why is there a ghost-spotter in the line-up?] and the clues are odd [why is fake maple syrup an important clue?] and canon-eccentricity is more than intact [why are they called the duck boys?].

Questions extrapolated from canon are addressed [who pays for the exploding car? do they recover costs from the arsonist? how popular is ray with motor pool?] and [why are there only three Mounties?].

Some Buzzy!think:

Turnbull is weird, kooky and under-endowed with people skills. Who the hell thought he'd make a good receptionist?

Turnbull identified himself as gay on the enlistment form, scored highly at Depot and good looking. Ideal material for an inclusive recruitment campaign which the RCMP really needed at the time [after the 'real world' Turbangate fiasco]

Cue posters [slogan: the hardest thing I ever did was come out as a Mountie] and magazine articles [which suggests that nobody in recruitment actually researched 'gay interest' magazines] and a small cult following and fan-mail [some of which Turnbull enjoyed very much even if he wasn't allowed to write back]. This was not popular with some senior Mounties [specifically, the ones that sent Fraser back to Chicago as 'punishment' for whistle blowing]

Turnbull has always been an indoor Mountie [which They liked even less] and that is mostly because he is allergic to horses and his better 'qualifications' are based around his educational background [university and post-grad] and being just that damned good at what he does. Since he was working in a specialised field where ranks are more based on achievement and skills than seniority and promotions boards... can you get how much They liked it when he scored Corporal in three years? Enough to get him demoted on a technicality and posted somewhere his skills were irrelevant and subsequently he'd be too 'behind the times' [training, seminars, conferences, new technology] that he can be reposted somewhere really nice .

Turnbull wants out. Obviously. Getting sent back to the Ottawa Mothership, where he has 'contacts', on the grounds of incompetence is the easiest way to do this. Ideally, he wants to pull Fraser over the border as soon as They start drawing what's left of their service pensions. Some of Turnbull's 'connections' are on good terms with Fraser's 'connections' and they could get Fraser get into a posting where he belongs.

Oh, and one of the They is now 'enjoying' a very protracted and media-visible divorce case when a major newspaper and high command both received some very interesting photographs from a mysterious third party not unconnected with the Criminal Intelligence department.

This is why it takes me forever to write anything.

buzzylittleb — Mon, 05 Mar 2018 14:09:46 GMT

Bob Fraser's contribution to sexual education

Bob Fraser advised him to not listen to anything Mrs Fraser the elder said and work out the rest as you go along. It's a hell of a lot more fun ~~that way~~.

him to not listen
never to listen
ignore

His father recommended toFraser him that he never listen to anything his grandmother had to say about the topic and he could work out the rest ~~out~~ as it comes along. It's a lot better that way, son.

[turning dialogue into words is difficult. Turning the dialogue in your head to words is even worse]

The edit bunny wants to re-write a thousand times until there is nothing left at all.

[rather like George Lucas]

~~His father recommended never listening~~ {super strike-through}

ETA: Bob told him no to pay attention to anything his grandmother might say on the topic and just work it out once you've gone along. It's a lot more fun, he said, your mother certainly thought it was. She had a very distinctive laugh, your mother, and at the time she wouldn't stop. Sometimes things are very discouraging to a young man, but you'll pull it together, both of you.

buzzylittleb — Sat, 03 Mar 2018 20:41:18 GMT

“You tell me, where is this going, huh?” Ray was getting demonstrative and right now he was demonstrating how to remove lumps from wallpaper by repeatedly slamming somebody into it. It might not be making an impact, but it was making Ray feel a hell of a lot better.