Belle of the Brawl

another "once a year" post

brokenbrawler — Thu, 22 Aug 2013 20:33:44 GMT

So far pregnancy feels like altitude sickness and PMS. Everything makes me cry. I've had a few hysterically happy crying/ laughing fits. Brian just laughs at me, which is fine, because it makes me laugh too.

I've resigned myself to the fact I will probably barf every morning until the first trimester is over. Morning sickness blows. I have never felt so fragile - even after my back surgery. I am struggling to function.

Here are my notes from my phone. I couldn't tell anyone the news yet, so this was my outlet for a while:

July 22nd - 3pm. I said I'd wait a few more days to take a pregnancy test, but I didn't figure it would hurt to take one today since my "days" app on my phone said I was 5 days late for my period. I experienced all the typical signs that my period was coming. Then, Sunday morning I felt better, like I was already done and hadn't had my period. I felt back to normal, save some constipation and a lot of breast tenderness. It was a different kind of normal. I was suspicious.
I took the test, set it aside and read some stuff on my phone while I waited for my bath to fill up. I glanced at the test strip. There was a faint second line. I squinted at it curiously for a moment, dismissed any hopes I had yet again and threw it in the trash. I got in the bath and started thinking. I was almost done with my bath when I remembered that even a FAINT line meant a positive result. My stomach tightened and my breath was shallow and rapid as I leaned over the side of the tub and pulled the test back out of the trash. The second line was much darker than it had been before. Holy shit.
I'm not sure how I managed to avoid cutting my legs while shaving them because my hands were trembling so bad. After I was out of the bath and dried off, I immediately went to get another test strip and found that it had been my last one.
I went upstairs to talk to Brian. He had about 40 minutes left of his work day, but he was up out of his chair, stretching and able to talk. When I told him about the positive test, he was taken back, but reluctant to believe it entirely. I was pretty sure, but completely understood his hesitation.
Then I had to go through several hours of hanging out with Brian's parents and his sister when all I wanted to do was run to the store and buy more tests to be sure. I kept looking at them and thinking, "they're going to be grandparents - they're going to be so happy - oh look, there's 'Aunt Brenda'."
They weren't even completely out of the condo parking lot when I was starting the jeep to run to the store. I picked up two more tests, came home and took one immediately. Positive. Then it really hit Brian.
I tossed and turned all night. I am happy and terrified.

July 23rd - Woke up not feeling swell. It's too early for morning sickness, right? Drank coffee, got the shakes. Ate salad for lunch and had coconut water. Me and Brian are kind of in a daze of disbelief and trying to wrap our heads around how much life is going to change. We've determined we'll probably put the condo on the market as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed. We drove by some houses and day dreamed. Laughed and joked about me "carrying his progeny - his heir." We probably won't need a second vehicle for a while - we'll probably looking into getting a second one next summer as long as the jeep remains reliable.

July 24th - Woke up feeling miserable. Nauseous, sensitive to smells. The dishes in the sink stunk. The trash stunk and the cat litter was really bad. I basically sat on the couch for two hours sipping coffee trying to get my shit together. Took another test. Positive. I want to call my mom so bad. I want to cry - just for a few minutes, to get it out and feel better, but my anxiety has it all locked up.
11:20 - I feel like I'm going to barf. Still happy and terrified. I'm going to the doctor Friday, but won't have test results until Monday. Very happy to have a local doctor.
7:42 - feel good, feel bad, feel good, feel bad - diarrhea, yay - ok feeling better - no wait, ate dinner and feel like crap again.

June 26th: 170.5lb, 98.6 degrees, blood pressure: 127/83

gauze, lots and lots of gauze

brokenbrawler — Mon, 16 Jul 2012 20:46:03 GMT

So I had surgery on Tuesday morning. Everything went pretty well. There was a little bit of mind-screwy-ness going on with me because the prep room and the recovery room looked identical to me and even though I knew I had the procedure done afterward, it didn't feel like they had moved me anywhere. Apparently I also nodded off mid-conversation, was moving my hands with my eyes closed, woke back up and was all "oh my god, I was just folding laundry."

Brian and my mom have been awesome. Since anesthesia made me sick, I kept throwing up my pain pills, so they had to keep me over night. Even so, I was getting up and using the regular toilet on my own (which was a lot since my body was desperately trying to flush the drugs out of my system) and generally felt ok. It was strange, I didn't even feel nauseous, in fact, I was super hungry, but I could not keep anything down until morning.

So Wednesday afternoon I came home. I took it easy, though I think I did some housework, laundry, dishes and was generally on my feet a little. Thursday morning I felt fine and was desperate to wash my hair, however, the act of tipping my head upside down to wash my hair in the sink proved to be a stupid, stupid move. I got incredibly dizzy, a side effect of the tramadol, and puked up my breakfast. That was the last time I've thrown up now though.

Saturday I got to take the bra and dressings off and see what I had. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, but removing the gauze was a pain in the ass and took both me and Brian. I got to take a shower, YES! and then we redressed the incisions, put a more comfortable sport bra on and then I noticed I was breaking out in hives, similar, but not as severely as I had after my back surgery.

Apparently, tramadol is a less powerful relative of norco, which I am extremely allergic to. So the tramadol built up in my system enough to really start messing with me. Since Sunday morning, I've been on only tylenol and have been just fine. Hives are way down today, dizziness is still there, but only in waves right now, and I'm finally sleeping more than twenty minutes at a time before snapping awake in a panic. I got several good chunks last night and a solid two and a half hour nap this morning.

If I had to guess, I think I'm a B cup now, maybe a C. The swelling has just started to go down. I can feel both nipples (which is something we weren't sure about). Won't know if I'll ever be able to breast feed, it's about a 50-50 chance.

They removed 4.4 pounds of breast tissue. I do not know if that includes the axillary breast tissue that was growing up into my armpit or not. Incidentally, the incision in my armpit is the most uncomfortable.

My weight: pre-surgery Tues: 176, Wed: 175 (must have been the swelling and all the fluids they were giving me), Fri: 171.8, Sat: 171.2, Sun: 170.6, Today: 169.6 - This is the first time I've been sub-170 in a long time. I know some of it is my light eating while on the painkillers and obviously almost 5 pounds was surgically removed, but wow! Thirty pounds to go. Shouldn't be too hard once I start exercising regularly. I'm already eating a lot better.

I have my follow-up with Dr. Mishra Wednesday morning.

Editor's grand entrance...

brokenbrawler — Tue, 15 May 2012 14:03:03 GMT

It's Secret of Mana Theater's ten year anniversary today and a special edition has been released: [LINK]

I'M IN IT. WOOO!

Ahem. It's kind of a geeky joy moment for me. The first five years, I was simply a fan, but now I'm a part of it. The big story of course is that, holy crap, ten years? Damn, we're old. Sprite Monkey (aka "Author") and I have been hard at work pulling everything back together. There's a clear line to the finish. It's gonna be fun!

Dude...

brokenbrawler — Sat, 05 May 2012 21:17:10 GMT

Brian and I need to add this to the training regiment!

weekend warriors

brokenbrawler — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:31:24 GMT

Our weekend in a bunch of pictures: <lj-cut text="Click to View">

Last kenjutsu class until the fall.

Paired drills. Brian working with Mitsuko Sensei, Chris with Uhler Sensei and Mata sitting out.

I am now the proud owner of a 1927 M91/30 Mosin Nagant. She's a sweet, sexy Russian...

and she shoots THESE: 7.62x54R rounds. BOOM.

Brian took the first shot. Right out of the box, it shot great. Nice sensitive trigger. The bolt is smooth.

Denali biting the bolt. WTF?

I broke the mosin down all the way and thoroughly cleaned it out. As with most mosins that have been in storage so long, she was coated and packed with cosmoline, which is a lot like petroleum jelly. It preserves the gun perfectly, but is a bitch to clean off. It took about two hours to completely clean it up. I had fun though and didn't even need to look at any diagrams to put it back together again!

Yesterday we met someone that Brian and I have been communicating with through Twitter for a few months. Her name is Britney and we recently found out she only lived 30 minutes away. She's basically a hunting goddess. She let me shoot one of her shotguns (my first time with a shotgun ever!), we shot skeet and I even hit a good bunch of them. Brian had shot skeet before (a long time ago) so he did much better than me. He was even pegging doubles! Britney took this picture of me shooting the Glock19.

Britney also shot the Glock and did great.

Our groupings. Brian was the one in the middle, but he was testing a new ammo, so it doesn't represent a typical grouping for him at ALL. Haha.

This is Britney obliterating a very fast moving clay. It was very fun to watch!

This is my shoulder last night after we went BACK out to our range to shoot the mosin some more. It has a steel plate on the butt of the stock and it kicks HARD. I only shot it twice without padding and this is what happened. It getting darker and <i>bruisier</i> this morning all ready.

So yeah. Wooden swords, then boom, boom, boom all weekend. :-) </lj-cut>

LOL!

brokenbrawler — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 14:48:10 GMT

I knew it was going to kick (hence the towel padding my shoulder) but it was still startling, particularly since the trigger pull is so gentle and fast.

At Play: A Plinking Compilation

brokenbrawler — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 20:36:30 GMT

Me 'n B like to shoot:

gun lessons from the sword master

brokenbrawler — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:39:32 GMT

The kenjutsu program is fizzling out. Unfortunately, we saw this coming. The sensei and their daughter make their hour and a half trip out to the dojo only to have it just be me and Brian. Mata doesn't even notify Uhler Sensei when he's not going to show up, which is 3 times out of 4. It's insanely hypocritical of what he teaches in aikido. Chris has just started attending again, but that still only makes the three of us. There have been only two other students, but they are neither dependable or promising.

Before we started class last Thursday, Uhler Sensei announced that we'd be switching up the class. Their idea is to have Brian lead classes and they would come out once a month. They had a lot of great things to say about Brian and I am very proud. They said he was "a better student than they could have ever hoped for." Unfortunately, we're certain it's going to end up just being the two of us. We're thinking we can try and work something out where we drive out to them twice a month. We'll see.

Rodney in particular is a big gun guy and invited us to go shooting with him. It was our first time shooting metal plates and wow, it was a ton of fun. I got to try some of Rodney's guns. Some Ruger .45 that hurt my wrists and I had to give up on it after 3 shots. A .357 Smith & Wesson Magnum which, hubba hubba, I am in love with. Lots of power, but still very smooth. I'm not one for the big shiny guns, but wow, you can't argue with that baby! I also shot his snub nosed .38 revolver and it was decent, but I was still in the after glow of shooting the Magnum and it just didn't compare.

I had my consultation with the surgeon on Friday and things went well. I was extremely uncomfortable when she needed to take pictures, but I understand it's necessary. My breasts weigh four pounds each and it sounds like they'll be taking roughly half of the mass. I guess you need a minimum of 500 grams of excess per breast to qualify for insurance coverage and I have over twice that. The way everyone keeps saying "you obviously need this" and blah blah blah, is starting to make me feel stupid for not looking into this earlier.

So I'm just waiting to hear back about a date and we're ready to go.

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

brokenbrawler — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 03:52:22 GMT

Deaths in the family:

Brian's Uncle Russel, August 2011, natural causes.
Brian's Aunt Carol, November 2011, cancer.
Brian's Uncle Roger, February 2012, heart attack.
Brian's second cousin Rose's husband, April 2012, heart attack...

and now Brian's Aunt Vicki is on her death bed right now.

If there is a god, please... give this family a break.

pew! pew! pew!

brokenbrawler — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 13:36:45 GMT

A couple pictures of me 'n Brian at the new outdoor range:

Brian and his Glock19 9mm. We don't have any good targets of our own yet, just 5 inch paper plates that we tape up to the posts. Someone left that big paper thing there. We did most of our shooting from about 16 yards.

Some of these are stills taken from video. It was the only way to catch the muzzle flare. :-)

Yay for ejecting shells flying back in your face.

As you can see, the 19 is a little big for my hands and has a bit of kick. I still do ok with it.

Scars

brokenbrawler — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 14:31:17 GMT

My back didn't heal up too bad at all. Apparently my family has pretty good healing genes. I know the skin on the breasts is very different, thinner and more tender, but here's hoping the scars heal up half as well as my back.

I can has smaller bewbs?

brokenbrawler — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 13:13:27 GMT

The user icon for this entry is probably 95% accurate to the face I was making the rest of the day after my doctor appointment.

I went in with my printed off list and ready to fight. The nurse had me gown up. Dr. Bessert came in, glanced at my list, never had me disrobe and told me I was a good candidate for the surgery. She has three surgeons she works with closely through Metro Health. She said she didn't anticipate me having any problems with insurance. I'll have a referral appointment by the end of the week, though it may be a month before I get to actually meet the surgeon. It's good enough for me. This is better than I had hoped for.

I cried happy tears right there in the office, a little bit more when I got back out to the jeep, then more when I told Brian about it.

Dr. Bessert actually pointed out a few things I never noticed. My shoulders are rolled from all my hunching and I actually have much deeper grooves from bra straps than I realized. She showed me on the computer where she had documented that when I came in before Christmas-time with shoulder pain.

I wonder how much they weigh...

Surgeries

brokenbrawler — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 12:31:40 GMT

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Last Friday I got to watch Brian have an ultrasound on some of his internal organs, which was kinda cool to see, however, yesterday we found out the results of that exam. He has at least one gall stone and may have to have surgery. It's not a serious surgery and we're not (very) worried, but you know, it's still sucky news. If it solves some of his problems though, then it's work it. Recovery time is pretty short.

I've also reached a breaking point with my breasts. I'm going in Monday to talk to my doctor about having a reduction. I have heard that it can be hard to get insurance to cover it, but hopefully she's willing to fight for me. If not, I know a doctor that will. Brian is behind me 100% and said if we have to, we can even take out a loan to try to cover the cost and force it. We'll see.

I forgot to mention that Harley's blood work came back perfect. Scheduled feeding seems like it's doing the trick for her.

R

brokenbrawler — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 16:59:51 GMT

Letter-Character Meme

1. Leave a comment to this post.
2. I will give you a letter.
3. Post the names of five fictional characters whose names begin with that letter, and your thoughts on each. The characters can be from books, movies, games or TV shows.

ishte gave me R.

"Randi" (Secret of Mana/ Seiken Densetsu 2)

There's not a lot to say about the main protagonist of Secret of Mana. Randi was the default name for him in the Japanese version. I believe it was just "Boy" in the U.S. Version, but I can't be 100% certain. I obviously know him as Seth, from the spoof series Secret of Mana Theater. Not so long ago, they re-released Secret of Mana for the iphone, which I have and it's very cool.

The game is a little lacking in story and emotion, but I was always good at filling in the blanks and came to sympathize with Randi's character, particularly when the group finds... hm, should I spoil it? Anyhow, Randi is of the Mana Tribe, which seems to me to be akin to the Cetra or "Ancients" in Final Fantasy VII. I always thought they should have given him some type of powers for that reason instead of just the ability to wield the Mana Sword. Oh well, it was a great game.

Renee Walker (24)

"I've known this woman for nine years, and I've never seen her do the kind of things she's done in the last nine hours." — Larry Moss, Season 7, 8:00pm-9:00pm

She only appeared in the last two seasons of 24, but the evolution of Renee Walker was really something to watch. She started out at the beginning of season 7 as an annoying goody-two-shoes, viewing the world in black and white and unwilling to stand for the moral lines that Jack Bauer continually crosses through out the season. By the end of season 7, she is beginning to agree with him that sometimes drastic measures need to be taken for the greater good. She then upgraded from annoying goody-two-shoes to a Jack Bauer wanna-be. Meh.

When we see her again in season 8, a year and a half has gone by and she's a completely changed woman. It's obvious she's been through a lot, but we only get to hear about it bit by bit at a time. We eventually learn that she's nearly as tortured as Jack himself and that's where she hit her sweet spot with me. I enjoyed the understanding and connection they shared. It was often unspoken and portrayed very well by the actors.

Then the writers threw them in the sack and killed her off less than an hour later. Thanks assholes. Though the fondness for her character which they slowly grew and nurtured in me made it just that more satisfying when Jack eventually caught up with the sniper and gutted him.

Rin Asano (Blade of the Immortal)

Rin is another character that evolves tremendously. She starts out as a slightly sheltered 16 year old whose parents are brutally murdered. I'm not sure how much time has elapsed story-wise, but it feels like it's been a few years. Now the immortal ronin she hired as a bodyguard eventually has to depend on her, at least a few different times.

Robo (Chrono Trigger)

If there was ever a "character" that could have been done better... where do I start? I personally hate it when robotic "characters" are humanized in ridiculous and inconsistent ways. You need a reason that a robot has emotions. Robo had no special hardware or programming that was supposed to make him sympathize with humans, have hurt feelings, etc.

Rudy Roughnight (Wild Arms/ Wild Arms: Alter Code: F)

Despite having an extremely dorky last name, Rudy is an example of a robotic character done right! He unknowingly is one of the rare and dangerous "Holmcross", an advanced android type weapon from the old war of Filgaia, thought to all have been completely destroyed. It doesn't become known that he isn't human until the second half of the game when Rudy is forced to sever his own arm so that he and his friends can escape. As an advanced android, he had the capacity for human-like thought and reasoning. He was raised by a surrogate grandfather named Zepet and was taught human moral values. It makes it more palatable, unlike Robo, who was a simple worker robot that had never met humans before Crono and the gang.

I loved this game and have not enjoyed any of the sequels nearly as much. I only made it half way through 2 and actually made it close to the end of 3, but haven't played any of the others and have zero interest. They remade Wild Arms for the Playstation2 as "Alter Code: F", a title which, having played both the original and remake beginning to end, makes NO sense at all.

the power and the glory and a little pain

brokenbrawler — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 18:06:26 GMT

Holy crap. Where have I been? Ok, ok, nothing extraordinary has happened, since most of you have me on Facebook, Google+ or have been in contact with me in some capacity. Livejournal has been feeling pointless to me for a while and I've heard that things are only going to get crappier. I'm not going to close my journal down or stop reading (I can easily add your entries to my RSS) but I'm probably not going to post much at all. I've removed my reoccurring credit card info, so once my paid account runs out, I'll be going free only. By then I'll be on RSS only. I need to find a way to copy over the content, just to have it.

I no longer train in aikido. The reasons I left are many, but a lot of it is due to the limitations I've been left with after my surgery. I wouldn't say ukemi is too painful, but it is very painful and other factors have simply made it not worth it anymore. I do have emotional reasons for leaving as well, but I will leave that for a private entry in the future if I decide I want to.

I'm currently taking kenjutsu, a japanese sword art. I really like it and hope the program sticks around. It had better since I've sunk a lot of money into it already. I'm probably at least $200 in already... hakama ($70), new weapon bag ($40), a new bokken ($36), a new custom tsuba ($50), kotachi ($20ish), another new weapon bag now that my new bokken and tsuba do not fit in the first one ($40ish), and I also have a special obi ($10ish) and tabi ($10ish) on the way. Hopefully I can sell off the unnecessary weapon bag and recoup some of the cost.

I'm also taking yoga and while I do enjoy it, I'm using it as a gateway class. I'm hoping it it will restore some of my flexibility and strength while I try and find something that suits me better.

I'm changing direction with brokenTAO and while I'll still be doing drawing commissions, I'm going to focus on jewelry and a little bit of home decor. My shop on Etsy has been going pretty well so far. I've been making sales. Oh, and not to plug to you guys or anything, but if you wanted something, shipping is free and you can use coupon code GIMMIE15OFF to get 15% off everything.

In the summer, my mother (who is also getting into her own creative productions) and I will be having tables and booths at events and flea markets to sell our wares. It's going to be fun. I've definitely been bonding with my mom a lot lately. Check out her store and site, MI Miscellania.

I've already run out of things to say. We're all doing ok around here. The weather has even been mild enough to get out and do some light hiking. That cuts down on cabin fever and the winter blues a lot.

Who goes hiking in Michigan in January???

brokenbrawler — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 14:57:18 GMT

The Timmers do!

Kenjutsu

brokenbrawler — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:12:45 GMT

These are my teachers.

7:40 is awesome. :-)

don't be a dick

brokenbrawler — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 05:32:59 GMT

Classic!

brokenbrawler — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 19:25:24 GMT

Maxpedition Typhoon

brokenbrawler — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 19:06:10 GMT

I'm selling my awesome rockin' backpack (so I can buy a different awesome rockin' backpack). It's $50 below retail with free shipping, plus some cool extras!

Finally!

brokenbrawler — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 23:18:21 GMT

I've been wanting Yasunori Mitsuda's albums, Kirite and Sailing To The World, but importing them would have meant shelling out $60ish each. After Kate Covington announced she was going to recording with Yasunori Mitsuda in the Spring*, I decided to check on them, as they've been sitting in my Amazon Wish List for years. Amazon just put them both up for MP3 download for $8.99 each. Now they are MINE.

* Typing that sentence made me squeal like an excited little girl again.

aeria gloris

brokenbrawler — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 20:47:48 GMT

Well, I narrowly avoided a nervous breakdown during the move. It was, hands down, the most stressful move we've ever had. I am no longer with Michael's, mostly due to "shenanigans", as some of my friends call it. I was looking to transfer to the Grandville store, but I think I was going to be lucky if they had an opening and I couldn't stay at the store I was with. In short, they were giving me grief over mistakes I was making, but not spending any time training me for the job that they told me takes a year to fully learn. So whatever... they dropped me down to 4 hours a week and I left.

We're 90% settled in. There are still boxes and some piles of clutter here and there, but we are functioning. I'm far more comfortable here than I thought I would be. Plenty of room and a huuuge back yard with privacy fencing. I've been in the backyard everyday since we moved in. I have my mini-greenhouse set up and it's wonderful.

This is Steam Pig in downtown. He was part of Art Prize last year, but now he's up for sale... I really hope someone local buys him and keeps him in town. I love Steam Pig.

This is a picture of Harley that I just love. We took it just a few days before we moved at the park across from the old condo. When she tromps around in the muck, I like to call her Swamp Butt... or Le Swamp Butt if we're feeling fancy.

Denali is getting enormous. She's almost as big as Harley, but still only about 3/4 the weight. She definitely has a different personality than Kitty. Good things and bad things, but she is a great cat!

Taken a few days after move in. I've gotten really good at getting yawn pictures. She's very expressive and I can tell when she's about to yawn. She'll be a whole year old on August 30th!

Poochie is still the big baby around here though. This is her chewing her toy on me in bed.

Denali is very partial to fans (she licks them) and the AC. It was going full blast when this pic was taken.

Size comparison. Harley is doing her morning face cleaning... I think she's part cat.

Derp.

Sweet pea vines. I got some exotic colors. The packet claimed they'd be pink, purple and white just like all the wild ones growing around here, so I was pleasantly surprised. Sunflowers and morning glories in the back waiting to be put in the ground.

Testing was the Saturday before last. I did not test, yet again, due to time constraints and the before-mentioned almost-nervous-breakdown. I regret not even bringing my gi, because Mata Sensei hinted that he would have thrown me out there to test anyway and it would have been a relief to get it over with. This is Brian taking ukemi for Stycos, who made 2nd kyu.

Sam was testing for 4th, but performed so well during testing that they double-promoted him to 3rd.

One more, fat, lazy, fluffy kitty picture.

Part Two coming soon....

no time to be sick, got crap to do

brokenbrawler — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 04:59:15 GMT

I broke the site... well, there was hardly a page there, but hey! you can see some cover art now.

Time to invest in a wordpress page or something.

Boardwalk

brokenbrawler — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 22:56:38 GMT

Some friends of mine put this together. It's great! Watch it! Rate it! Share it with friends!

Progress.... .... .... ....75%

brokenbrawler — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 04:09:23 GMT

I'd like to say City of Nod is going to be released tonight/tomorrow.

The truth is, I've been working extra hours at the frame shop because we're slammed with orders and there are only four of us. I'm also busy trying to organize the chaos of packing. It feels different this time and I do NOT know why. I'm supposed to be a master at this! I think it may be because I want to get rid of most of it. I mean, we have boxes of crap that hasn't been unpacked in a year... unless it's dreadfully sentimental, I say we donate it.

The cover art for Nod is killing me. It's going to look great, but right now it's only about 75% done.

I'm pretty down in the dumps right now. I'm not ready to say when it'll be out, but I'm guessing within the next two weeks. I think I'm just angry because I've been saying for YEARS I'm going to do a comic and have never actually done it. So when I set a date, I wanted to KEEP it. I feel like I'm breaking a promise.