{"id":5198444,"date":"2025-12-31T09:09:46","date_gmt":"2025-12-31T06:09:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/breslev.co.il\/?p=5198444"},"modified":"2026-01-05T14:31:57","modified_gmt":"2026-01-05T11:31:57","slug":"father-bless-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/5198444\/","title":{"rendered":"Father, Bless Me!\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Translated from Rabbi Arush\u2019s feature article in the weekly Chut shel Chessed newsletter. The articles focus on his main message: “Loving others as yourself” and emuna.<\/i><\/span><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n

I\u2019m\u00a0Glad\u00a0I\u2019m\u00a0Not\u00a0A\u00a0Rabbi!\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

Anyone who is not a rabbi ought to recite every day the blessing \u201cBaruch [Hashem] that He didn\u2019t make me a rabbi.\u201d Being a rabbi does not mean you are a ruler; being a rabbi is a severe form of slavery \u2013 you are enslaved to Hashem\u2019s nation, as the Gemara says1<\/b><\/sup><\/span>. And one of the most difficult aspects of being a rabbi is that one must listen to people telling you\u00a0all\u00a0their troubles.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Some of the most distressing stories\u00a0one hears\u00a0are about children who\u00a0are \u201coff the\u00a0derech<\/i>\u201d, and have not only left the straight path but have also broken all contact with their parents. Or vice versa \u2013 stories about parents who have cut off relations with their children due to a spiritual decline. It is not for nothing that the Gemara says that a child who rebels against his or her father is like the war of Gog and Magog at the end of days.2<\/b><\/sup><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The real tragedy is that sometimes everyone is right and has done the right things.\u00a0For example, the father had to scold his son and\u00a0drive him\u00a0away somewhat, and the son had\u00a0a very big\u00a0yetzer hara<\/i>\u00a0(evil inclination).\u00a0So\u00a0what should\u00a0a\u00a0parent\u00a0do? How stubborn should one be? How much should one\u00a0relax and let go? All parents today are searching for the correct balance between \u2018the left hand\u00a0driving\u00a0away\u2019 and \u2018the right hand bringing close\u20193<\/b><\/sup><\/span>. How can one know when to make demands while at the same time\u00a0 transmit\u00a0 the critical feeling to the children that the parents always love them? \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Such a question cannot be answered in writing, but one can mention one important point that in itself is very powerful.\u00a0All parents should know: There are mistakes that one is forbidden to make! Forbidden!<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Rising to the\u00a0Occasion\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

Every child and youth \u2013 at any age \u2013 has times when he needs his father. Even if you are\u00a0very angry\u00a0at your son, and even if you are one hundred\u00a0percent\u00a0right, when your son needs you as a\u00a0father<\/b>, you must put everything else aside! Everything! Set aside all the anger and all the complaints; you must now be a one hundred percent loving father and listen to your son and\u00a0 try to help him with maximum mercy,\u00a0 maximum love<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the critical times for this is Friday night. When you return from\u00a0shul, you must bless\u00a0all the children\u00a0with maximum love. Even if all day or all week the child\u00a0annoyed you\u00a0and you\u00a0fought with each other, you must put it all aside and hug and bless with love! This is the time to place your\u00a0love above all.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Dear father, when your relationship with your child\u00a0is volatile, there are two problems here:\u00a0a small problem\u00a0and a big problem. The\u00a0small problem\u00a0is the child\u2019s behavior and the reason for the fight. Even if the son did something\u00a0very serious, it is only\u00a0the\u00a0small problem.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

But the big and terrible and dangerous problem is for the child to think that his father doesn\u2019t love him.\u00a0When a\u00a0child\u00a0thinks\u00a0that his father\u00a0doesn\u2019t\u00a0love him, this thinking\u00a0is not\u00a0merely dangerous \u2013 it is an existential,\u00a0spiritual danger.\u00a0It is actually a problem in\u00a0emuna<\/i>\u00a0(faith)!\u00a0A child like that will find it\u00a0very difficult\u00a0\u2013 almost impossible \u2013 to\u00a0truly believe\u00a0in Hashem.\u00a0There is a danger here of losing all of one\u2019s connection with the child, and\u00a0there is a danger that the child will drop out of Judaism completely.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you\u00a0cannot\u00a0put the fight aside, that proves\u00a0to the child that there is\u00a0a very serious\u00a0problem with\u00a0your\u00a0love\u00a0for him. And conversely, good\u00a0is greater than the bad, for if you\u00a0can\u00a0rise to the occasion and put\u00a0the fight aside, you prove\u00a0to the child that you are\u00a0first and foremost\u00a0a loving father!\u00a0You have no\u00a0idea\u00a0and you have no way of assessing what you are doing\u00a0by acting that way!\u00a0Even if you will not see the results\u00a0immediately,\u00a0in the long run\u00a0you are simply saving the child and his\u00a0emuna<\/i>\u00a0\u2013\u00a0and your relationship with him!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Even if\u00a0They\u00a0Don\u2019t\u00a0Deserve\u00a0it\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

We learn this from our holy\u00a0forefathers, who not only teach us\u00a0emuna<\/i>, but also teach us what a\u00a0father<\/b>\u00a0is. In this week\u2019s\u00a0par<\/i><\/span>sha<\/i>, Yosef arrives with his two sons to be blessed by his father Yaakov. Yaakov promises Yosef that the two grandsons, Efraim and Menashe, are part of the Tribes; they are like his direct sons, \u201cLike Reuven and Shimon they will be to me.\u201d4<\/b><\/sup><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

And yet, the moment when Yaakov is about to bless the children, Rashi says in the name of\u00a0Chazal<\/i>, that the\u00a0Shechina<\/i>\u00a0(Holy Presence)\u00a0left\u00a0him, since\u00a0wicked people will come from both Menashe and Efraim. And\u00a0so\u00a0he asks: \u201cWho are these?\u201d5<\/b><\/sup><\/span>\u00a0and Rashi\u00a0explains: \u201cWho are these\u00a0who\u00a0are not worthy of being blessed?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

And Yosef replies: \u201cThey are my sons\u00a0that\u00a0G-d has given me here!\u201d.\u00a0Yosef\u00a0prays to Hashem until Yaakov relents and says to Yosef: \u201cPlease bring them to me so that I can bless them.\u201d6<\/b><\/sup><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The Ohr Hachaim\u00a0Hakadosh<\/i> wonders how Yaakov can ask, \u201cWho are these?\u201d Doesn\u2019t he recognize his grandsons? The Ohr Hachaim explains the question in this way: \u201cYaakov meant to awaken the love of the father for the son before he would bless them so that the blessing would be given with the greatest amount of love and affection. And that is why he asked, \u201cWho are these?\u201d \u2013 so that he would hear from his favorite son, \u201cthey are my sons\u201d and he will long for them and that is the secret of \u2018whenever I speak of him\u2026 I will show him great compassion\u2019.\u201d7<\/b><\/sup><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

This works out very well with the\u00a0course of events after this.\u00a0Before the\u00a0blessing,\u00a0Yosef presents the sons to Yaakov, and the holy grandfather, Yisrael, hugs and kisses them.\u00a0We see that\u00a0before the blessing Yaakov\u00a0Avinu<\/i>\u00a0wants to awaken the love in every way possible, because a blessing is the result and revelation of a great love, and\u00a0it is particularly love that gives the blessing its power. This is explained also in the\u00a0Ha\u2019amek\u00a0Davar<\/i>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

And even when you are having problems with your children, you must set\u00a0them\u00a0all aside and awaken the love, like Yaakov\u00a0Avinu<\/i>, and bless your children with\u00a0the greatest love and affection!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The Bigger\u00a0the\u00a0Fight,\u00a0the Greater\u00a0the\u00a0Love\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

This provides yet another explanation for Yitzchak\u2019s wish to bless Esav8<\/b><\/sup><\/span>. Everyone asks: How could it be that Yitzchak Avinu<\/i> didn\u2019t\u00a0see that Esav was evil? According to what we brought here, one can say that\u00a0it was\u00a0because Yitzchak knew who Esav\u00a0was<\/b>\u00a0that\u00a0he wanted to bless him. What happened\u00a0here\u00a0is that Yitzchak\u00a0Avinu<\/i>\u00a0wanted\u00a0to\u00a0increase his love<\/b> for Esav in every way possible, and therefore he asked Esav to prepare him a tasty meal. Note that in this meeting with Esav, the words \u2018my father\u2019 and \u2018my son\u2019 appear many times, and before the blessing he wants to kiss his son.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

And even when Esav discovered that he had lost the blessing, Yitzchak didn\u2019t bless him immediately, but, rather trifled with him until Esav cried out, and only then did Yitzchak bless him. If he could have blessed him, why didn\u2019t he bless him right away? But Yitzchak wanted to awaken his own feelings of rachamim <\/i>(mercy) towards him, and only when Esav cried did these feelings arise in\u00a0him\u00a0and he blessed him.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

We\u00a0find\u00a0an interesting dialogue\u00a0between\u00a0father and son in the story of the\u00a0Akeida<\/i>, when Avraham\u00a0Avinu<\/i>\u00a0and Yitzchak were on their way there. Yitzchak wishes to ask his father\u00a0about the whereabouts of\u00a0the animal to be sacrificed, but before that he\u00a0addresses\u00a0Avraham and says to him, \u201cMy father,\u201d and his father replies, \u201cI am here, my son.\u201d9<\/b><\/sup><\/span>\u00a0It is difficult to understand why the Torah bothers to mention this exchange.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

One can say that even\u00a0at such a difficult moment, when Avraham and Yitzchak are walking towards the fulfillment of the\u00a0Akeida<\/i>, it is important to prioritize\u00a0the unconditional love between father and son.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

The\u00a0Divrei Yisrael<\/i> provides an amazing explanation for this and says that this is a sign for all future\u00a0 generations.\u00a0 This dialogue between Yitzchak and Avraham is eternal: whenever a Jew turns to Hashem and says to Him, \u201cMy Father,\u201d Hashem will respond immediately with \u201cI am here, My son.\u201d And it won\u2019t matter who is doing the asking and what he has done; Hashem will fulfill his wishes with mercy!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

It is so important to say this every morning, at the beginning\u00a0of the prayers10<\/b><\/sup><\/span>, to remind us that\u00a0during our prayers we are meeting a\u00a0Father\u00a0who loves us in any situation.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Advice That Saves\u00a0Souls\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n

We learn from Yaakov another way to awaken one\u2019s love for one\u2019s\u00a0children\u00a0\u2014\u00a0to judge the person favorably, as Yosef says: \u201cThey are my sons\u00a0whom\u00a0G-d\u00a0gave\u00a0me\u00a0here<\/b>\u201d6<\/b><\/sup><\/span>.\u00a0Look at what I have raised\u00a0here in Egypt<\/b>. And if you see something bad in them,\u00a0it is not in them\u00a0per se. Rather,\u00a0it is just bad because they are in Egypt. But they themselves are \u2018my sons\u2019,\u00a0as righteous as I am.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

And just like\u00a0every Friday night\u00a0we bless our children with\u00a0the\u00a0blessing\u00a0that\u00a0Yaakov\u00a0gave\u00a0Yosef\u2019s sons, so too whatever Avraham, Yitzchak,\u00a0and\u00a0Yaakov did, we all must do. When a child comes to you and says \u201cAbba,\u201d even if he doesn\u2019t actually say\u00a0the word\u00a0\u201cAbba\u201d, but he expects\u00a0you to bless him\u00a0or to\u00a0hug him \u2013 you must\u00a0put\u00a0everything\u00a0aside and awaken\u00a0your utmost love as father to child in any way you can, until you can bless him wholeheartedly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

This advice alone can save families and save souls. It can give our children the resilience, complete\u00a0 emuna, <\/i>and the strength to overcome all the evil inclinations of this generation and to grow up to be\u00a0 tzaddikim<\/i>,\u00a0chassidim,<\/i>\u00a0and\u00a0true lovers of Hashem.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Editor\u2019s Notes:<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

1<\/sup><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0Tractates Sotah 47a and Sanhedrin 107b\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2<\/sup><\/strong><\/span> Tractate\u00a0Berachot\u00a07b\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

3<\/sup><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0Tractates\u00a0Sotah 47a\u00a0and Sanhedrin\u00a0107b\u00a0(Baraita of\u00a0Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar)\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

4<\/sup><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0Bereishit (Genesis) 48:5\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

5<\/sup><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0Bereishit\u00a048:8\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

6<\/sup><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0Bereishit\u00a048:9\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

7<\/sup><\/strong><\/span> Yirmiyahu (Jeremiah) 31:20\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

8<\/sup><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0Bereishit 27\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

9<\/sup><\/strong><\/span>\u00a0Bereishit 22:7\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

10<\/sup><\/strong><\/span> The Akeida (Bereishit 22) is recited after Birchot HaTorah\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Translated from Rabbi Arush\u2019s feature article in the weekly Chut shel Chessed newsletter. The articles focus on his main message: “Loving others as yourself” and emuna. \u00a0 I\u2019m\u00a0Glad\u00a0I\u2019m\u00a0Not\u00a0A\u00a0Rabbi!\u00a0\u00a0 Anyone who is not a rabbi ought to recite every day the blessing \u201cBaruch [Hashem] that He didn\u2019t make me a rabbi.\u201d Being a rabbi does not … Continue reading “Father, Bless Me!\u00a0“<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62109,"featured_media":5198456,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_joinchat":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[15180],"tags":[22779,21416,16646,23358,50859,19835,54788,25692],"author_post":[14273],"new_serie":[],"class_list":["post-5198444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children-and-education","tag-akeida","tag-child-education","tag-family-and-relationships","tag-yaakov","tag-jacob-and-esau","tag-family","tag-ahavas-hashem","tag-parenting","author_post-rabbi-shalom-arush"],"acf":{"paragraph_first":"When a child thinks that his father doesn\u2019t love him, this thinking is not merely dangerous \u2013 it is an existential, spiritual danger.","paragraph_second":"Even when you have problems with your children, you must set them all aside and awaken the love, like Yaakov Avinu, and bless your children with the greatest love and affection! ","meta_title":"Father, Bless Me! ","meta_description":"Are you looking for advice that can save your children\u2019s souls? Rabbi Arush gives advice that can give your children the resilience, emuna, and the strength to overcome all the evil inclinations of this generation and to grow up to be tzaddikim, chassidim, and true lovers of Hashem!","special_content_in_the_post":"none","youtube":"","intro_text":"

Are you looking for advice that can save your children\u2019s souls? Rabbi Arush gives advice that can give your children the resilience, emuna, and the strength to overcome all the evil inclinations of this generation and to grow up to be tzaddikim, chassidim, and true lovers of Hashem!<\/p>\n"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5198444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/62109"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5198444"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5198444\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5199450,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5198444\/revisions\/5199450"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5198456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5198444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5198444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5198444"},{"taxonomy":"author_post","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/author_post?post=5198444"},{"taxonomy":"new_serie","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/new_serie?post=5198444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}