{"id":496093,"date":"2019-08-15T16:32:34","date_gmt":"2019-08-15T16:32:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/%d7%9c%d7%9c%d7%90-%d7%a7%d7%98%d7%92%d7%95%d7%a8%d7%99%d7%94\/recipe-for-a-happy-summer-break\/"},"modified":"2024-08-23T14:41:19","modified_gmt":"2024-08-23T11:41:19","slug":"recipe-for-a-happy-summer-break","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/496093\/","title":{"rendered":"Recipe for a Happy Summer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\n

As\u00a0<\/span><\/span>I<\/span><\/span>\u00a0am wont to say: \u201cNo one has ever changed because of criticism.\u201d I<\/span><\/span>f you want\u00a0<\/span><\/span>someone else<\/span><\/span>\u00a0to truly listen and change \u2013 you must do it\u00a0<\/span><\/span>while radiating love, understanding, and happiness.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

This is why<\/span><\/span>\u00a0the phrase\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u201cSmile!\u201d is not just some nicety to put on\u00a0<\/span><\/span>a bumper sticker.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>A smile\u00a0<\/span><\/span>is deep service of Hashem which testifies to the wholeness of the heart.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>It is work that requires a real connection to Hashem<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>It also has\u00a0<\/span><\/span>tremendous power t<\/span><\/span>o\u00a0<\/span><\/span>awaken<\/span><\/span>\u00a0deep\u00a0<\/span><\/span>inner happiness.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

E<\/span><\/span>veryone is thirsty for a smile and a good word.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Smil<\/span><\/span>i<\/span><\/span>ng i<\/span><\/span>s a huge kindness to other people<\/span><\/span>, and literally saves lives as\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Rebbe<\/span><\/span>\u00a0Nachman teaches in Rebbe Nachman’s Wisdom<\/a> <\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span>(<\/span><\/span>Sichot<\/span><\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>HaRan<\/span><\/span>,<\/span><\/span>\u00a0 41).<\/span><\/span>\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Smiling<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>is a big\u00a0<\/span><\/span>mitzvah<\/span><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>and oftentimes a<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Kiddush Hashem<\/span><\/span>\u00a0– sanctification of Hashem\u2019s name<\/span><\/span>\u00a0\u2013 as well.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

A f<\/span><\/span>ace\u00a0<\/span><\/span>that rad<\/span><\/span>i<\/span><\/span>ates happiness\u00a0<\/span><\/span>and\u00a0<\/span><\/span>love i<\/span><\/span>s\u00a0<\/span><\/span>also\u00a0<\/span><\/span>the first condition for someone who wants to help others return to Hashem<\/span><\/span>.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>You can help someone return to Hashem just by smiling at him, without even saying to him one word.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

You Call This a Vacation?!<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

Let\u2019s bring this home even more. Summertime is a difficult time for parents, with all their children home from school.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>The parents expect things from their children, and the children have their own expectations of summer break. This\u00a0<\/span><\/span>is a recipe for disaster, with both sides going back into the school routine bitter and angry.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

The parent\u2019s frustration can ar<\/span><\/span>ise from many different causes:\u00a0<\/span><\/span>T<\/span><\/span>he children don\u2019t wake up to pray on time,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>or\u00a0<\/span><\/span>they refuse to open a book and learn something,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>or\u00a0<\/span><\/span>the<\/span><\/span>y\u00a0<\/span><\/span>fight with each ot<\/span><\/span>her<\/span><\/span>…\u00a0<\/span><\/span>The parents try to push and pressure the kids, or even offer treats and prizes if they do what they should throughout the break \u2013 but it d<\/span><\/span>oesn\u2019t always help. So, what\u2019s the solution?<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

The answer is:\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Radiate to the children love, warmth, and happiness<\/span><\/span>!<\/span><\/span>\u00a0If you aren\u2019t happy\u00a0<\/span><\/span>serving Hashem<\/span><\/span>, then don\u2019t expect that the Torah will rest in the hearts of your children.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

Also, r<\/span><\/span>emember tha<\/span><\/span>t in the\u00a0<\/span><\/span>be\u00a0<\/span><\/span>all and\u00a0<\/span><\/span>end\u00a0<\/span><\/span>all<\/span><\/span>, your children are \u2013\u00a0<\/span><\/span>just children<\/span><\/span>! They don\u2019t have the understanding\u00a0<\/span><\/span>yet\u00a0<\/span><\/span>to know, let alone feel, how wonderful it is to learn and pray.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Kids just want to eat, play and sleep<\/span><\/span>\u00a0in late \u2013 they think the<\/span><\/span>y have it all coming to them!<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

It\u2019s true that we need to educate them. But the only way to educate them is with happiness, love, and understanding. As the verse says, \u201cLove others, and bring them close to the <\/span><\/span>Torah.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/span>The love must come first \u2013\u00a0<\/span><\/span>there is no other way<\/span><\/span>. If you don\u2019t start with warmth and love, then instead of bringing them closer to serving Hashem, you\u2019ll only push them away G-d forbid.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

Who Wants to Suffer?<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

All the inevitable fighting over getting the children to pray and learn as they should can make them hate these holy and important things, G-d forbid. Everyone hates fighting, and everyone hates being forced to do something.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

It is an extremely serious issue if they ask themselves<\/span><\/span>:\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u201cWhy a<\/span><\/span>m I suffering so much?\u201d<\/span><\/span>\u00a0and the answer is learning Torah and prayer<\/span><\/span>. You can\u2019t expect them to love the Torah or their studies if they are put in a situation where they resent it.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0If this is the case,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>then\u00a0<\/span><\/span>what are you gaining from all your \u201ceducation\u201d? You are training them\u00a0<\/span><\/span>the way you train\u00a0<\/span><\/span>a monkey or a parrot,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>while they just wait for the first moment that you don\u2019t have power over them any more…<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

Remember very well, that the ones who lose the most from this entire situation is really the parents! No parent enjoys fighting with their kids, and they also end up frustrated and\u00a0<\/span><\/span>upset<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0In the future, they will be even more\u00a0<\/span><\/span>upset\u00a0<\/span><\/span>when they reap the bitter fruits of all that fighting, and the children\u00a0<\/span><\/span>go<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>in a bad direction\u00a0<\/span><\/span>G-d forbid \u2013 which is one of the worst forms of suffering that ex<\/span><\/span>ists.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

The Good is Even More Powerful<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

The good news is that as bad as the situation can be with pressure and fighting \u2013 with even a little bit of love and happiness<\/span><\/span>\u00a0put into the equation<\/span><\/span>, it is possible to have a fantastic summer break for everyone.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Everyone will be happy and\u00a0<\/span><\/span>r<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>laxed. E<\/span><\/span>ven more importantly, the children will receive a\u00a0<\/span><\/span>real education \u2013\u00a0<\/span><\/span>an education which will give them strength to return to their studies fresh and with renewed\u00a0<\/span><\/span>vigor, and<\/span><\/span>\u00a0will accompany them their<\/span><\/span>\u00a0entire lives. Even better \u2013 it doesn\u2019t even cost money!<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t forget that kids\u00a0<\/span><\/span>really\u00a0<\/span><\/span>don\u2019t need attractions, nor ice cream<\/span><\/span>\u00a0and<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>treats. What kids need more than anything,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>is\u00a0<\/span><\/span>a smile and encouragement<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>You can give someone everything and a perfect \u201ceducation,\u201d but if you haven\u2019t given them\u00a0<\/span><\/span>love\u00a0<\/span><\/span>and\u00a0<\/span><\/span>encouragement\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u2013 you haven\u2019t given them anything.<\/span><\/span> Children<\/span><\/span>\u00a0are thirsty for\u00a0<\/span><\/span>happiness and positivity from their\u00a0<\/span><\/span>parents<\/span><\/span>,<\/span><\/span>\u00a0and<\/span><\/span>\u00a0yearn f<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>r<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>u<\/span><\/span>r<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>p<\/span><\/span>r<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>i<\/span><\/span>s<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

M<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>k<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>s<\/span><\/span>u<\/span><\/span>r<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>ake\u00a0<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>l<\/span><\/span>i<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>l<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>i<\/span><\/span>m<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>u<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>b<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>p<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>r<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>f<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>h<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>i<\/span><\/span>r<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>l<\/span><\/span>iv<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>s<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>T<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>l<\/span><\/span>k<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>c<\/span><\/span>h<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>child\u00a0<\/span><\/span>p<\/span><\/span>r<\/span><\/span>i<\/span><\/span>v<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>l<\/span><\/span>y<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>l<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>as<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>n<\/span><\/span>c<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>a<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>week or<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>go for a short walk together.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0Play with them from time to time, even just for a few minutes. And of course,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>don’t<\/span><\/span>\u00a0scold and rebuke them\u00a0<\/span><\/span>with every move they make.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

A Special Opportunity<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n

This does not mean that you should not maintain some form of order and schedule, or that you should stop caring that your child\u00a0<\/span><\/span>prays<\/span><\/span>\u00a0and learn properly. Absolutely not.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>You can expect a lot from them<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u2013 but know that this requires a lot of input on your part of happiness, warmth and love<\/span><\/span>.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>And if they don\u2019t live up to your expectations, don\u2019t\u00a0<\/span><\/span>push, criticize or complain.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0Just know that you haven\u2019t showed them enough happiness and excitement<\/span><\/span>. You\u00a0<\/span><\/span>haven\u2019t shown them\u00a0<\/span><\/span>enough<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>how beautiful prayer and learning is. Strengthen\u00a0<\/span><\/span>yourself and<\/span><\/span>\u00a0keep going.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

Summer break, or \u201c<\/span><\/span>Bein\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Hazmanim<\/span><\/span>\u201d shouldn\u2019t\u00a0<\/span><\/span>be<\/span><\/span>\u00a0a curse<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Rather, it\u2019s a special\u00a0<\/span><\/span>opportunity to\u00a0<\/span><\/span>have more time than<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>usual to give\u00a0<\/span><\/span>the children a lot of love and excitement\u00a0<\/span><\/span>to serve<\/span><\/span>\u00a0Hashem<\/span><\/span>, and a lot of smiles and encouragement to take with them into the new school year.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n

If we merit to\u00a0<\/span><\/span>smile and radiate warmth and love\u00a0<\/span><\/span>properly\u00a0<\/span><\/span>to everyone around us, and especially to our family \u2013 then in return, Hashem will radiate that same warmth and love to us. He will\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u201csmile back at us\u201d so to speak, and\u00a0<\/span><\/span>give us peace, blessing and goodness.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Remember, even though I applied these teachings to summer break, educating children with love is a year-round endeavor. To learn more, read my book: The Garden of Education<\/span><\/a>.<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As\u00a0I\u00a0am wont to say: \u201cNo one has ever changed because of criticism.\u201d If you want\u00a0someone else\u00a0to truly listen and change \u2013 you must do it\u00a0while radiating love, understanding, and happiness.\u00a0 \u00a0 This is why\u00a0the phrase\u00a0\u201cSmile!\u201d is not just some nicety to put on\u00a0a bumper sticker.\u00a0A smile\u00a0is deep service of Hashem which testifies to the wholeness … Continue reading “Recipe for a Happy Summer”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62109,"featured_media":4846858,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_joinchat":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[15180,15322],"tags":[21416,16369,25692],"author_post":[14273],"new_serie":[],"class_list":["post-496093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children-and-education","category-menachem-av-and-elul","tag-child-education","tag-emuna","tag-parenting","author_post-rabbi-shalom-arush"],"acf":{"intro_text":"

After Tisha B'AV comes vacation! Parents expect things from their children, and the children have their own expectations of summer break. Everyone is unhappy; what\u2019s the solution?<\/p>\n","breslev_id":"34806","meta_title":"Recipe for a Happy Summer Break","meta_description":"After Tisha B'AV comes vacation! Parents expect things from their children, and the children have their own expectations of summer break. Everyone is unhappy; what\u2019s the solution?","post_views_count":"235","help_field_to_import_order_in_category":"3","updatetime":"01\/01\/0001","special_content_in_the_post":"none","paragraph_first":"You can't expect children to love learning if they resent it.","paragraph_second":"Kids\u00a0don\u2019t need treats and activities; they need love and encouragement.","landing_form":false,"youtube":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/496093","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/62109"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=496093"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/496093\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4846866,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/496093\/revisions\/4846866"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4846858"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=496093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=496093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=496093"},{"taxonomy":"author_post","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/author_post?post=496093"},{"taxonomy":"new_serie","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/new_serie?post=496093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}