{"id":1086640,"date":"2019-11-14T22:53:33","date_gmt":"2019-11-14T22:53:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/%d7%9c%d7%9c%d7%90-%d7%a7%d7%98%d7%92%d7%95%d7%a8%d7%99%d7%94\/get-a-spiritual-guide-spiritual-weapons-pt-2\/"},"modified":"2023-07-05T10:49:19","modified_gmt":"2023-07-05T10:49:19","slug":"get-a-spiritual-guide-spiritual-weapons-pt-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/1086640\/","title":{"rendered":"Get a Spiritual Guide-Spiritual Weapons, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In\u202f<\/span><\/span>Part 1 \u2013 Battle Plan<\/span><\/span>, I outlined the traumatic situation that I had been thrust into, and how I realized that as gigantic and scary as it might be, it was at its root, just another test of\u202f<\/span><\/span>emuna<\/span><\/span>. Therefore, I neede<\/span><\/span>d to look at the problem with\u00a0<\/span><\/span>spiritual\u202f<\/span><\/span>lense<\/span><\/span>s<\/span><\/span>\u202faccording to\u202f<\/span><\/span>emuna<\/span><\/span>, and tackle the situation<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>with<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Spiritual\u202fWeapons<\/span><\/span><\/a>. And even though my problem, and therefore my parable, is divorce \u2013 the lessons that I learned through successfully battling my way through that fearsome test of\u202f<\/span><\/span>emuna<\/span><\/span>\u202fapply universally.<\/span><\/span>\u202f<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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However, I would be totally remiss to make like I slew the dragon of a messy divorce all by myself \u2013 hence, the very first lesson I learned was the\u00a0<\/span><\/span>crucial importance of a spiritual guide<\/span><\/span>.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Rabbi\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Arush<\/span><\/span>\u00a0also discusses the critical need for a spiritual guide in his article:\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Your<\/span><\/span><\/a>\u00a0\u201cWaze\u201d\u00a0for the Road of Life<\/a>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>I am not going to repeat his teachings \u2013 I hope instead to give you the \u201cpractical view\u201d of how following his advice will greatly benefit you, in this world and the next, from my own experiences.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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All the other lessons that I learned stemmed from the fact that I had huge\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Rabbanim<\/span><\/span>,\u202f<\/span><\/span>Gadolim<\/span><\/span>,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>tzaddikim<\/span><\/span>\u202f<\/span><\/span>\u2013<\/span><\/span>\u00a0wha<\/span><\/span>tever you choose to call them \u2013 guiding me.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>How else would I know what to do? What Jewish laws were appropriate to my situation?<\/span><\/span>\u00a0Every good army has an even better general at the helm. How can I, little Private Rosen, hope to know how to win this war on my own???<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>In fact, Hashem gave me the awesome gift that I had not one, but three, behind my back. For instance, that seminal decision itself\u00a0<\/span><\/span>to divorce\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u2013 all three of them unanimously recommended it (without one being in contact with the other).<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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However, one Rabbi\u00a0<\/span><\/span>in particular was<\/span><\/span>\u00a0behind every single major decision that I made throughout that grueling year \u2013 the\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Melitzer Rebbe<\/span><\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0The\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Melitzer<\/span><\/span>\u00a0Rebbetzin<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>speaks English (hence\u00a0<\/span><\/span>her amazing articles<\/span><\/span><\/a> on our own website!) and we spoke on the phone at least weekly, and often more. The Rebbetzin became a foundation of wisdom, support, and guidance, and she took the bigger issues to the\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Rebbe<\/span><\/span>\u00a0for his advice.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Needless to say,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>I greatly benefited from the excellent advice<\/span><\/span>. I have no doubt that I would have suffered much more if I did not have someone with more experience than me, both in spiritual and physical matters, to guide me through\u00a0<\/span><\/span>very tough decisions.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Take a very simple piece of advice that the\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Rebbetzin<\/span><\/span>\u00a0gave me, for example \u2013 to put a quarter into the charity box every morning, and ask Hashem for happiness and Divine guidance. I saw the difference immediately! It\u2019s good, sound advice \u2013 the\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Gemara<\/span><\/span>\u00a0doesn\u2019t say for nothing that \u201ccharity saves from death.\u201d But I would have never thought of it myself.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Then you have the bigger decisions. Thank you Hashem for these spiritual giants who insisted that I divorce and NOW, because all of my local Rabbis were totally against the divorce! They could not understand whatsoever\u00a0<\/span><\/span>what\u00a0<\/span>was the big deal about a porn addict<\/span> (or the other marital issues involved)<\/span><\/span>. One told me sadly, \u201cThere are a lot of these types, and their wives simply try to manage. It\u2019s not worth divorcing over.\u201d Now, far be it from me to make a blanket statement to state that in every\u00a0<\/span><\/span>situation, the answer is to divorce someone into porn. After all, the entire point of this article is that you must get personal advice for your situation!<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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However, take note that just because someone has the title of \u201cRabbi,\u201d and might even lead a large congregation, does not mean that this person possesses the spiritual qualities of what\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Rebbe<\/span><\/span>\u00a0Nachman calls a\u00a0<\/span><\/span>manhig<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>emiti<\/span><\/span>\u00a0\u2013 a real spiritual guide. Specifically, that is quite often NOT the case. Refer to Rabbi Arush\u2019s article\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Choosing a Spiritual Guide<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>on how to find and evaluate a spiritual guide, because I can tell you from personal experience \u2013 it\u00a0<\/span><\/span>ain\u2019t<\/span><\/span>\u00a0easy.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Sadly, I suffered a lot over the advice of various \u201cRabbis\u201d, both in other situations before the divorce, in the advice I received that was instrumental in agreeing to the marriage itself, and throughout the divorce. Rabbi Arush has very strong words on the painful reality that faces such Rabbis when they get to the Next World, as they face the havoc that their bad advice wreaked. He adds, \u201cIt isn\u2019t really their fault. They don\u2019t have marital peace themselves \u2013 how can they possibly advise others how to achieve marital harmony? Better to read <\/span><\/span>The Garden of Peace<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>(or\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Women\u2019s Wisdom<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a>\u00a0for women)\u00a0<\/span><\/span>and get good advice\u2026\u201d Additionally,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Rabbi Elgrod<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>once told the Kollel, \u201cEveryone should say every day \u2018Thank you Hashem that I am not a Rabbi.\u2019 It is very scary being a Rabbi, knowing that if you give someone bad advice, you will pay dearly for it.\u201d<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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In fact, I could add that a great way to test a real spiritual guide is if\u00a0<\/span><\/span>he<\/span><\/span>\u00a0really understand<\/span><\/span>s<\/span><\/span>\u00a0this truth, and live<\/span><\/span>s<\/span><\/span>\u00a0it. A real spiritual guide knows full well the weight on his shoulders, and takes his responsibility with utmost seriousness.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Every single one that I have had the privilege of meeting has this quality.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0On the flip side, the\u00a0<\/span><\/span>fakes\u00a0<\/span><\/span>I encountered were\u00a0<\/span><\/span>generally\u00a0<\/span><\/span>arrogant about their wisdom, and\u00a0<\/span><\/span>reckless and overly forthcoming with their advice<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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T<\/span><\/span>he fakes are\u00a0<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>ftentimes<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>also the most charismatic \u2013 a real spiritual guide has a simplicity and authenticity to him that is hard to put into writing. They aren\u2019t trying to wow people<\/span><\/span>, or be much of anything besides themselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>You can also feel it when they lecture \u2013 without presumptions or specific oratory skills and gimmicks.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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The\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Gemara<\/span><\/span>\u00a0says that, \u201cOne who runs from honor, honor chases him.\u201d That\u2019s the person you want to be guiding you! If you even smell a hint of arrogance and wanting a title or honor,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>or attempting overtly or covertly<\/span><\/span>\u00a0to bring more people under their wing<\/span><\/span>\u00a0\u2013 run!<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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I explain more about the benefits of having a real spiritual guide in\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Part 3, Shhh \u2013 Don\u2019t Talk!<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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In\u202fPart 1 \u2013 Battle Plan, I outlined the traumatic situation that I had been thrust into, and how I realized that as gigantic and scary as it might be, it was at its root, just another test of\u202femuna. Therefore, I needed to look at the problem with\u00a0spiritual\u202flenses\u202faccording to\u202femuna, and tackle the situation\u00a0with\u00a0Spiritual\u202fWeapons. And even though … Continue reading “Get a Spiritual Guide-Spiritual Weapons, Part 2”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62109,"featured_media":1086641,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_joinchat":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[15144],"tags":[16369,16440,33639],"author_post":[14496],"new_serie":[86781],"class_list":["post-1086640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jewish-outlook","tag-emuna","tag-divorce","tag-spiritual-guide","author_post-batya-rosen","new_serie-spiritual-weapons"],"acf":{"intro_text":"

Every army needs a good general to create the battle plan and oversee the war. No different with our battles in life \u2013 big and small\u2026<\/p>\n","special_content_in_the_post":"none","meta_title":"Get a Spiritual Guide - in the series Spiritual Weapons","meta_description":"The title of \u201cRabbi\u201d leading a large congregation does not mean that this person is what Rebbe Nachman calls a manhig emiti \u2013 a real spiritual guide.","paragraph_first":"","paragraph_second":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086640","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/62109"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1086640"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086640\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1086641"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1086640"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1086640"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1086640"},{"taxonomy":"author_post","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/author_post?post=1086640"},{"taxonomy":"new_serie","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/breslev.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/new_serie?post=1086640"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}