Weird thoughts...

Lately I've been thinking about marriage a lot. Yeah I'm only 17, nearly 18 years old and I also think I'm way too young to think about marriage already. I actually don't want to get married before I'm 24/25 but there's one thing I wish I already had that includes my thoughts of a marriage. I want to be able to trust one person totally. I don't even completly trust my parents. I don't really know why but I think it's because I've trusted so many people in the past who just left me alone when I needed them. I don't know why exactly I think that I could find that kind of trust in a marriage but I guess it's because someone would be there saying that's the girl I want to marry in public. That person would stand behind me, would be proud to say that we're going to be marry, that would be there for me, that wouldn't leave me alone when I need someone to be there for me. When I'm not strong on my own anymore. And for me marrying someone would mean something like "I'm there for you and I'll tell everyone about you being the person I'll support and love until I die." And I feel like I really need a person who can give me this kind of feeling in my life very soon.