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So... I'm like 17 today. I know right?! I feel... weird... well that's just cause I couldn't sleep. lol But yeah... yey I get to go bowling wiff muh best friends today! And maybe shopping.. ^_^ <3
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Lets do it
Lets do it

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A Blend I made for my sister Dana of pics from her wedding last May. :)

^_^

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I must be crazy... going to the YMCA... the first day of winter... in freezing rain. lol IMMA HAVE SO MUCH FUN OMG! lol
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Haha, I must be lucky... I've always wanted to get up at 4am and wait outside an Electronics store a few cold hours for a free digital camera. lol
Today was so cool, and I almost didn't get one. It's something that it always does here, any camera's they have left over they give away free to people willing to wait outside in the cold until 7. LOL

Normally they only have 25 camera's, psshh, I was #30 in line, and was like "oh hell no! there are like 100 people behind me!!" lol but they luckily had 30 and I wound up getting the last one. Woo!!

Even though the camera quality does suck 0_o IT'S FREE and an awesome web cam!! Good for taking random stills.. like these XD (I BLAME YOU MANDY! lol):

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DANG IT!! Ok.. so my computer's dead... LOL So NOT funny, but a new one is on it's way in like 10 days. It sucks because I have new things to put up on Bratz Mania and new things I want to make, but can't.. plus my site is offline for some reason and I have no way of contacting my web host. >_< I'm on the "family computer" lol ..not fun. X_X lol But at lest I can still talk to my friends, who really care about me and have always been there for me in good times and bad... which brings me too..

Some other stuff has happened in the past month leading up to right now. So I'm not in the best of moods... =[ All I can say is... Did you ever think someone cared about you but all they seem to do is leave you hurt and feeling like you're never good enough for them? Like everyone else is so much better and you're just they're... person that they fall back on when they have to.. like they think you'll ALWAYS be there so they can just treat you how ever they want because HEY! you'll never leave... And you just wish they would have felt the same way you felt about them.. and treated you like you really are the best thing in their life like they've kept telling you that you are?!

Life really isn't fair sometimes.. well, the people in life sometimes don't make it such. They wind up sucking the happiness out of your life.. and are perfectly fine with the fact that they've left your heart on the floor in pieces. =[[

As.. sad/mad/hurt as I am over all this, as much as I wanted everything to be perfect and.. just feel loved.. I desurve respect and someone who would never dream of hurting me!! I don't need someone who's gonna bring me down everytime I'm around them and feel bad about how I look.. and don't want someone who tells me they love me and then all they have for me is more lies and pain! Most of all.. I want to be on their mind.. not a side other guys that I'm compaired to. >_<

Ya know?

OMG! But on a FREAKIN AWESOME note, I went Trick or Treating with my friend Rachel and her sister Sara. I had SO MUCH FUN! And got a lot of candy! XD I know.. I'm 16, we were like the only "big kids" out that night, but it really was A LOT of fun. :) I'm so glad I know the both of them and have them as friends. ^_^
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I thought I'd update my LJ, since I haven't in a while. ^_^
I had a great day today shopping, it's awesome to have hot new clothes (black jeans and a few new hats)! XD lol And Forever Diamondz Sasha!!!! WOO! lol ^_^ I LOVE these dolls, they really are better than I thought and she's now the best Sasha I have so far. =D

Also.............. eh why not:

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What the heck? Three people I know have asked me if I've entered "that bratz contest". lol
I saw a commercial for it last week, something about design your own contest, send in a design at WalMart or something? I heard the winner gets a design school scholarship??!?!!!! OMG! O_O I HAVE TO enter this contest! lol I have so many designs it's crazy. lol I have dreams of my own fashion line someday... no 2!! MWAHA! lol

But I can't find anything online about it, not even on bratz.com.. someone... help, please? O_o lol
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This is something I would definitely never normally post about, because it's personal and painful... but I'm so FREAKIN' happy I could scream!! LOL

Okay, so I was ALWAYS made fun of by pretty much everyone in grade and middle school, from about 2nd - 6th grade for being "over weight". When I was 10, I had to go on a medication, to decrease chronic migraines that have been very disrupting to my life, left from some... bad stuff that happened to me when I was younger. What sucked was that the med's main side effect was weight gain. It wasn't cake, candy and couch-potato-ism like the oh so common shallow stereotype and discrimination that is aimed at people who have a lil' more "junk in the trunk" than others. So my metabolism just completely dropped to nothing, so it made things MUCH worse.

But because I've been on the medication for almost 7 years, it's already 'deep in my system', so the side effects don't really apply anymore... AND ... =D... I've gone from almost a 3XL, all the way down to a Medium! ^_^ YAY!!! That's, I'm pretty sure almost like 80-100lbs. O_O
I'm able to wear clothes that I wore when I was 10 and 11! lol

Last winter I was like in total break down mod, because I just couldn't stand it; how I looked, how I thought and saw myself and how people treated me because of the way I looked. Most people think that surgery, pills, throwing up everything or just never eating ever again is the answer... it's not, and all the sweat and tears from literally working your @$$ off, makes you stronger. =) Dancing (in my room everyday for 30 minutes, like a crazy person on crack LOL), crunches and just not eating A LOT/more healthier, is what worked for me.
And I still wanna lose more. lol I'm not going for anorexic looking like some people... I'm sorry I just don't see THAT as "hot"...seeing your bones THROUGH your skin is.. just plain nasty! LOL I just want to be happy with the way I look. =)

I, who am very self conscious .. seriously.. I AM! lol in person I'm very to myself and my own opinion of me and how I look is... pretty low, am SO proud of myself. This has been a HUGE confidence booster.. so I wanted to share my happiness with cha'lls. XD
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It's been a while since I've posted here, so I thought I would..

I got Kidz Sasha and BOI Vinessa, which I LOVE!!!!! Sasha is the cutest dang thing I've ever seen!! OMG! lol And I love Vinessa but her body (legs/arms) are so weird. o_O

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Well today was... fun o_o. I went to the ER because I hurt my knee dancing a few days ago. I bent my left leg a little TOO FAR to the left, heard and felt a mighty painful "snap-pop" and was unable to unbend it and or walk on it for a few days.
So I had X-rays, had a doctor "feel me up" LOL Nothing too bad, but now I have a way-too-tight brace on my knee to keep it straight until it fully heels. The way "Dr. David" described it, was that the way I bent it, the bones snapped together and my knee cap shifted a bit. What sucks is that this is the kind of injury that may take a full year to fix! *crying*

...But!! I'm glad I didn't break anything. Whether I tore anything is unknown, because x-rays don't show what's wrong with tissue inside the knee, so they might have to "go inside it" (surgery) to see if anything needs to be fixed. 0_0! This so does not get a cheer from my squad! LOL okay..that was lame, but yeah lol

On the upside, the new additions to the local Medical Center here are very... bright, clean and shinnah! XD LOL

I just wanna be able to dance again and have fun. *pouting* Oh well...
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UGH! I want new bratz NOW! I'm in a drought right now and it really sucks. I love my Phoebs, but I need Diamondz dolls!! O_O lol

Oh yeah, and that $100 camera from best buy (that's a webcam, digi cam, camcorder, voice recorder and mp3 player), it's at the top of mylist. ^_^ My camera is dead right now, hence no pictures of my new hair, I'm sorry everyone =(! I have no idea what to do with this peice o' shizz-broken camera! GRR! *is going crazy* -_-'

But I love MGA as always, because they have updated bratz.com with some more Bratz things containing illustrations. =) So that will tide me over until... Christmas?! *crying* lol

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I just thought I'd post a few of these. I've started writing poems, I don't know if I'm any good. Just thought I'd share. :)

This one, called Dear Beautiful is not really about anyone or anything, the "he" being anyone bad in someone's life. It's just about how even though people may be beautiful on the outside, it doesn't mean that they're beautiful on the inside also:

You Made Me Feel Beautiful
Yet They Say Ugly Is Your Attire
He Made Me Feel Ugly
Yet It's His Beauty They All Admire
That Yes, My Shame From Him
That Has Made Me Run And Hide
Is His Own Wickedness And Ugliness
That Dwells On His Inside
Could It Be That The Beauty
You've Made In Myself I Now See
Be The Beauty That You Are
And Forever Will Be.

This is a sad one for some reason, I wasn't exactly sad when I wrote it, even though it sounds like it, it just helped me express a little what I was feeling (NO I'M NOT EMO lol)

Lost in my own loneliness
In emptiness
Forever more
Lost in a sea of my unseen self
In sadness
Once more
Try and find my rescued boat
My light in the dark
Bring me to the shore and save me
Love me
Forever more.

This one is like the happy ending of the 2nd poem I posted, a certain "someone" has come into my life (dot dot dot My Happy End Goes Here lol) and I feel as light as air! hehe ^_^

In a sea of invisibility
Lost in the waves
My rescue boat calls to me
Completing my days
My feelings of sadness and doubt
Are left behind at sea
For you kind stranger
Have felt the same
Seeing who I am
Have rescued me.
Lets do it
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Yet another remix of the Rock Angelz I have just finished. ^_^ YAY! lol It took like FOREVER to make, getting it just right, but it turned out pretty good, I think.

It's not like Lookin' Good, with the whole song, because everything in the original version of So Good was just way too much to filter out, hence the lack of vocals in this remix-dub what ever it would be called. lol

I think it turned out well, because Anna Nordell, the voice of Roxxi on the cd, has such a pretty (perfect) voice, so it fits well will in the "dark" techno music. lol And it IS So Good, even though I wasn't able to add in the corus. O_o

So Good (SpotLight Remix) - (6:32)

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At this moment, right now, I am sitting at my computer... with dye in my hair and on my eyebrows... with a bag over my head (the hair at lest). Laugh if you must.. nice mental picture lol But this is still so cool!! lol

I have an hour to go, like this. lol I started at 4:42pm, I have 'til 5:43pm and it's 4:56pm right now. o_o
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Lets do it

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YAY! I finally found new bratz existing in my aria, and at a Target too. O_o I snagged Sportz Phoebe who was on Sale for $8. :) Cheapest I've ever paid for anything Bratz. lol

I almost died when I saw FD Cloe. She's so amazing to me and I MUST HAVE HER! lol No Sashas, of any kind u_u, like always, but for now I'm happy I have this beautiful doll.

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Just the usual bratz graphic update. ^_^

Rock Angelz Wallpaper:


"Friends Only" LJ banner:


Kidz Blend (pics thanks to Riddley ^_^):


*Is working on at the moment, another layout for my site using the HR scans* :)

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Ok, so I've been wanting Rock Angel song remixes for a while, well since I first heard them, and I doubt anyone else will be making any... so I did one myself. XP lol

Now it's not the best and it took me forever to fix the vocals, because MGA won't release the acapella versions of any bratz audio. But thank God for Adobe!! ^_^ And I did go a little over board on the reverb, but I had to in order to somewhat drowned out the music still attached to Jade's loverly voice. XD

ANYWAY... my next one (if I do one, like I won't do another one?! ;D) will be music better, or "even more: so good". :) But for now... Enjoy *nervous*

Lookin' Good (Kool Kat Re-Work) - (4:42)

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Well... I haven't been online for a few days. My poor friend, she was like the only one that noticed and was all "WTF were you?!". But that's cool, it makes me feel needed LOL

This is a ... eh, update. Just wanted something new on my LJ. I'm mad that this bike I got is not working well and that my computer mixing program is pooy at the moment. Why am I mad at it? Because I'm trying to make something bratz related and it's not working... x.x