Synopsis
Heroes aren't born, they're raised.
A recent parolee gets a Mexican witch to resurrect his old posse so that they can help him save a woman's ranch from a ruthless drug lord.
Directed by John Gulager
A recent parolee gets a Mexican witch to resurrect his old posse so that they can help him save a woman's ranch from a ruthless drug lord.
Se7en Cemeteries, Șapte cimitire, Семь кладбищ, 七墓士, שבעה בתי קברות, 七座墓地
Bravo: I think, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Haters will say it's a rip-off, but legends know that Casablanca was inspired by this movie.
Personally, I enjoy watching Danny Trejo in these types of shitty action movies so, I enjoyed a lot. After all, how can you not enjoy watching Danny Trejo, as a zombie/witch, resurrecting dead and iconic former warriors, wrestlera, and criminals to fight with the cartel? Plus 1 from here.
In addition, the soundtrack was unnecessarily good, which increased the watchability of the low-budget HORRENDOUS action scenes. If you like watching Danny Trejo, definitely give it a chance, otherwise you can skip this one.
Saw this with Danny Trejo sitting right next to me after seeing Kesha ten minutes earlier….pleased to say I had a great time.
I love me some Trejo, but this is just not a good movie. It's a bad movie. And I don't mean a bad movie in that good kind of way, because I adore plenty of bad movies. This one is ungood. I wish I could tell it differently, but this is just how it is for me.
This oddly sweet and cute horror comedy that's a zombified Latino SEVEN SAMURAI is a little messy, but I find it impossible to shit on a movie where Danny Trejo and Lew Temple are undead soldiers of vengeance who were brought back to life with brujeria. Some of the photography is gorgeous in a great value Terrence Malick way.
Friday Night Viewing
Or as the poster calls it, Se7en Cemeteries. Which would be Sesevenen Cemeteries, I don't make the rules. (I know this convention dates back to the movie Se7en, but it's always seemed ridiculous, and frankly, in this case, ridiculous seems fitting. In a telenovela narco zombie Seven Samurai with Danny Trejo in his late seventies getting out of jail and immediately having to raise the dead, some confusion about the title seems apt.)
This movie is certainly something, but I'm not quite sure what. It's weird, but not quite weird enough. It may not feel like Danny Trejo's giving every ounce of energy (presuming he has energy), but he's not phoning it in either. The actors around…
Presupuesto el justo todo muy digital pero no es la típica basura de Trejo es aceptable y tiene algún toque de humor
This not being listed as a comedy is a mistake this movie was so funny it’s a half star movie it’s legit terrible but it gets boosted up by how laughably bad it was at times I was cringing too much that it wasn’t that enjoyable but man the people making this were on crack I love Danny Trejo just accepting every movie he gets offered and then you got Disney channel legend Maria canals Barrera from camp rock and wizards of waverly place of course and her performance in this movie genuinely was one of the funniest things I’ve seen I think she should probably just do her Disney channel stuff I love her so much but this performance is outlandish the plot actually lowkey could be cool from like competent writers and directors and a higher budget of course but this was something I’ll tell ya that
Left Mrs W with the remote as I knocked up the fake away Nando's in the air fryer and come back to this, ok , could be awful but there's a fight on at 9 so we'll have half hour to know if it's bollocks. Well ended up being better than the fight and than I expected, Danny T and a magnificent zombie 7 take on a mexican drug Cartel , yup it's got shit CGI shoot outs but it also has a few chuckles (can never resist a mexican wrestler) and it's well acted and competent enough to not be shit, in fact I went in with low expectations and didn't have a too bad a time at all and comes in at prob 1hr 24 mins, which is always a bonus. Probably laughed as much at this as I had at Beetlejuice earlier.
Mexican drug cartel versus Danny Trejo's undead crew of criminals. What could go wrong? When action goes, it goes bloody and funny. It tries to be emotional. Justice is served undead style.
"Not the danglers!"
An ex-con assembles a crew of undead mercenaries to protect a women's ranch. This movie has a silly plot, bad CGI, and cheap production, and yet it's more fun than most Hollywood action flicks.
Moments of Interest:
* Healing potion
* Undead Assemble!
* Grandma's headshot
* Quasimoto romance
* Accordion interrogation
* See you in Fargo
* BOOM
* Handjob
Recommended Double Feature:
World Gone Wild (1987)