Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you, and I, are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you IN THE FUTURE!
WHO is the Amazing Criswell you ask? Not just the narrator of Plan 9 From Outer Space. Oh no. He is, in fact, a true multihyphenate. Broadcaster, author, coffin creeper, singer, and most importantly: wildly inaccurate and negligent psychic. Notably, Criswell released his book Criswell Predicts From Now to the Year 2000! back in 1968 and foresaw things such as himself, president Mae West and Liberache's brother George taking a rocket powered vacation to the moon, an unexplained Sex…
Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you, and I, are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you IN THE FUTURE!
WHO is the Amazing Criswell you ask? Not just the narrator of Plan 9 From Outer Space. Oh no. He is, in fact, a true multihyphenate. Broadcaster, author, coffin creeper, singer, and most importantly: wildly inaccurate and negligent psychic. Notably, Criswell released his book Criswell Predicts From Now to the Year 2000! back in 1968 and foresaw things such as himself, president Mae West and Liberache's brother George taking a rocket powered vacation to the moon, an unexplained Sex Mist coming down from the sky and billowing across the country, driving people mad with perverse and sinister urges, and of course that the world will end on August 18th, 1999. All completely logical things that definitely happened.
So come along on a journey where The Amazing Criswell guides you through cinematic horror history! All reviews feature genuine, real Criswell predictions! Or you can read his entire book online via the internet archive here. Neat!
Special thanks to Hooptober creator and sponsor Cinemonster and assistant regional monster Slappy McGee for all of their hard work coordinating and spreading this tradition. Its a true, rare good thing in a world full of boiling poison.
STATS FOR NERDS
Box Score Rules and Criteria:
6 Countries: United States, Canada, Germany, Australia, Mexico, India
8 Decades: Current, Twenty-Teens, Twenty-Aughts, 90's, 80's, 70's, 60's, teens.
Insect Centric: Naked Lunch, Antfarm Dickhole
Set in Space and/or The Future: Hardware
Animated: Fear(s) of the Dark, The Apostle
Bloodthirsty Old Person Showcase: Relic
2 70's Regional US Films: The Town that Dreaded Sundown, Zaat
Badly Received 90s Horror Sequel: Trucks
German Silent: Der Andere
David Cronenberg:: Crimes of the Future
Ti West: Christmas Decay
Bill Rebane: Blood Harvest
Charles B. Pierce: The Town that Dreaded Sundown
William Grefe: The Hooked Generation
Joy N. Houck Jr: The Night of Bloody Horror
2 Christopher Lee Films: The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism, Corridors of Blood
Musician or Band Film: Bowling Balls
Stephen King Retread: Trucks
Starring Lon Chaney: He Who Gets Slapped
A Tobe Hopper Film: The Apartment Complex
Miscellaneous Etc: Orphan First Kill, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022), Dual, Bloody Hell, The Taking of Deborah Logan, Art of the Dead, Antiviral, Sole Survivor.
