...The Cutest Cutups...

Oooooooooh, my brotha... this movie would kill your everyday common movie-watcher. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Yeah, it's horrible, and it desperately tries to weave in some sorta bogus alien narrative amidst the chicks and severe lack of chainsaws.

BUT...

The voiceover was so fucking awful that I laughed my ass off! It's from the young, talentless lead actor (whose green alien blood mix is the key to some shit or other - who the fuck knows really). So this dude's voice narrates NEEDLESSLY and UNNECESSARILY throughout the movie... trying so hard to match a Clint Eastwood style of low, gritty and serious.

His failure at this is truly spectacular.

And the shit he says is fucking mint.

Here are my top favorite 5 quotes from this world's shittiest voiceover:

5. "It's not every day that you run over a hot chick in the middle of the woods."

4. "Not only did he steal my wife... he stole my pigs."

3. "I loved her enough to tattoo her name on my arm. That's not gonna come off easy."

2. "In any other situation, being manhandled by four beautiful women in skimpy clothes would be a good thing...but, now I wasn't too sure. Either I was the luckiest man on earth, or I was one dead duck.

1. "I was so scared, I was gonna wet my pants. But all I could think about was how good she looked in hers."

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Hoop #13 of CINEMONSTER's The Twelfth of Hooptober: Diary of a Madman

My Wild List and all my silly Reviews can be found here: Slappy McGee's Hoop-Tober 12.0 List.

...also considered...

Film #55 of my 2025 - Clearing Out My DVD Case Initiative.

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