Hooptober XII
3/35

Welcome to my top 5 horror films of all time, The Thing (1982)! Glad to have you, and my sincerest apologies that you weren’t here sooner.

What an absolute blast. THIS is horror cinema at its finest. This film just has it all—from the immense psychological terror stemming from isolation and paranoia to the sheer, existential dread-inducing sci-fi creature horror of The Thing™ itself.

This film showcased hands down the best practical effects I’ve ever seen put to screen, each more impressive than the last. Have practical effects ever topped this? Personally, I don’t feel like that’s possible, but what do I know—it took me till 2025 to watch this, so I am clearly uncultured swine.

This film consistently elicited physical reactions from me throughout my viewing. The entire time we were in the kennels my jaw was agape. As the detached head grew spidery legs my whole body recoiled. And I don’t think a horror movie jump scare has ever so effectively made me leap out of my seat and skin as the petri dish blood test did. Expertly crafted tension in an already terrifyingly tense situation.

It is truly mind-boggling to me that at the time of release people weren’t falling to their knees in praise of what John Carpenter created. This is an instance where I will unabashedly use the word masterpiece.